The Shadow Singer
by shuusetsu
Summary: Misaki Takahashi has a great singing voice. Only the praise goes to the Jpop idol Io. Because Misaki is Io's shadow singer. And when the great composer Usami Akihiko took a liking of the voice he heard in a performance, he took a liking of Io as well, not knowing that the voice he loved way back before was Misaki's.
1. Chapter 1

**River Flows in You**

* * *

The sun was shining brightly, making the leaves of the trees sparkle the morning due. It was summer vacation and young Misaki and his brother would be spending their vacation at their grandparents'. The world in Misaki's innocent, pure eyes was dazzling. Colorful, fun and amazing. And he savoured the scent of the morning as he trolled the dirt road near their house. Listening to the music the ciaccadas were making.

"Misaki!" his brother called. "Don't go too far or you'll get eaten by a bear!"

Even from a distance Misaki could hear his brother shouting at him. So over protective. Who would believe that bears would eat good kids like him? "Tsk...Nii-chan you idiot. Even eight year olds like me know Kuma-san doesn't exist in this part of the country!" He yelled back.

With a frown on his young face, Misaki bounced his way deeper into the woods. His chocolate hair flying everywhere as he dashed into a clearing. "Uwah...How come I didn't see this last year?" He exclaimed, slowly indulging his eyes with the clear water that reflected the blueness of the sky.

He didn't care that the grass was almost to his knees, making his legs go itchy. He just stared at the waters and at the entirety of the place.

"Ah...this must be what they call heaven..." the young boy smiled. "Though I haven't been to heaven maybe this is how it would feel."

Misaki's huge eyes caught a glimpse of a Shrine near the small lake, in front of a very tall Sakaki tree. He took excited strides towards it to pay some respect. It was small but well kept, made Misaki all the more eager to pray. He grabbed the ropes in front of him and rang the bell. He then tossed his single coin in his pocket into the offering box and bowed deeply twice. He raised his head and clapped his small hands twice and bowed once more, praying for his brother, grandparents and for the place to stay like that forever.

"There...I am sure the Gods heard me."

Misaki turned his back at the Shrine to continue his escapade when he heard something.

"Hmmm...hmm...hmmmmm...hmmm."

"Huh? Who's there?" Afraid at the humming he was hearing but still curious, Misaki took small steps towards the back of the small Shrine. And the humming grew louder and clearer.

"Nananana..nana..nanana..."

Misaki forgot all his fear when he found himself staring at a boy that seemed to be as old as his brother. He was sitting, his back againts the thick trunk of an old majestic tree, with papers and pen in hand. He had silver hair that sways with the slightest touch of the summer breeze. He had skin so pale he almost looked like snow. And what captivated Misaki more about the boy was how he seemed to be enjoying himself with his closed eyes, humming by himself.

The curious Misaki fell on his bottom when suddenly, the older boy opened his eyes, revealing lavender hues at him. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."

A smile was the boy's reply, and he motioned for Misaki to come near him.

"You're having your summer vacation, are you?" the deep voice asked Misaki. Strangely, even the voice seemed to be a melody.

Sitting next to the boy, with his eyes looking at the papers with scribbles he couldn't understand, Misaki glanced back at the warm smile.

"Nii-san, what are you doing? Are you singing?"

Chuckling, the boy extended one of the papers he had in hand, a music sheet. "No, I am composing."

Misaki could only frown at the notes he saw. They had music lessons but he could in no way understand how they were being read.

"Composing? What is that?"

The lavender eyes looked deeply into Misaki's green ones and then scribbled a few more notes on the side of the already cramped music sheet. "Composing. It's writing a song."

Misaki lit up, all fascination directed at his new found, interesting friend. "You're like a writer that writes stories!"

"Yeah, you could say that. I write stories, but is accompanied by a melody and is expressed through a song."

"Nii-san, could you repeat the one you're humming before? I really like it!"

"You liked it? That's actually a favorite of mine. It's River flows in You by Yiruma*1."

Moving a little closer at the older boy, Misaki looked at him with eager eyes. "River flows in you..." and the young Misaki didn't realize that he was humming the same tune himself. When he finished, he looked shy and embarrassed he had to look away from the gaze the older boy gave him.

"Ah..sorry...I might have sounded so bad. I just really~~"

Misaki stopped mumbling when he felt a cold hand pat his hair like he was some protege. Whatever the older boy saw in him, Misaki didn't know and was still too young to understand.

"No, it's great. I loved it."

"Really? Really? Really?"

"Yeah, no kidding," the silver-haired boy looked at the music sheet and then back at Misaki. "You have good ears. And I am pretty sure, when you grow older, your voice would mature into something great."

Misaki stood blushing and eyes twinkling at the commendation which he seldom get even from his music teachers, he tapped his chest. "Then I will become a singer! I will become really popular and make everyone happy. Just like how happy I am to hear you hum that 'River Flows in You'!"

Huge, pale hand was extended to Misaki. The young boy looked at it curiously and then at the smiling lavender eyes.

"I'll become a great composer someday...and I want you to sing a song I composed. Okay? Deal?"

Beaming with delight, Misaki grabbed the hand with both of his still small hands and shook them hard. Waved it up and down while smiling proudly. "Deal!"

* * *

"Oi, Takahashi-kun, what are you spacing out for?! I've been callingfor you for god knows how many times already!" a chubby man snapped at Takahashi Misaki.

Misaki was still a little confused he had to look at his surroundings to get what was going on. People with headsets and mics passed before him. They're running all around, and he could hear a distant voice of a woman.

"I am sorry for the delay, we are just having technical issues, Io is already on standby so fans, just a little patience!"

It was followed by a loud cheering of girly voices, screaming "Io! Io! Io!" it hurt Misaki's ears.

"What the fuck are you still sitting there! We're going live! The CD won't read! You hear me!?" the chubby man again spat, his saliva showering Misaki's face.

"Ah...ha,,,hai..hai..sorry."

_"Ah jeez...why am I remembering something that happened ten years ago...? Of all times?!"_

"Riki-san! Io, is already on the stage, just waiting for the cue!" a thin woman whispered, but Misaki could hear them alright.

"Roger that," the chubby man named Riki pulled Misaki by the arm and led him into a small booth. "Okay young man, you know what to do...at my cue..."

Misaki placed huge earphones on his ears and held the microphone tightly. This rarely happened to be singing on a live stage so he was a little nervous but very excited as well. From the booth, Misaki could see Riki-san signalling his cue to their sounds technician. And with only the fingers doing the countdown, Misaki counted in his head as well.

_"Three...two...one..."_

_"Kanashii hodo hikari dashita 哀しいほど 光りだした_  
_Shiroi yami kirisaku Tsubasa ninare" 白い闇切り裂く翼になれ_

Misaki's cold voice filled the entire studio and the crazy fangirls screamed wildly. He was singing True Light and it was a song he also loved. And his love for the song and the lyrics clearly reflected with the way he sang it.

The fans, the hosts, and the sponsors were captivated by the voice that they could only marvel at the cold yet warm voice touching their hearts. Only praises and cheers could be heard within the studio. Only that the cheers were not for Misaki but for the new idol named Io, lypsynching on the stage.

* * *

After the performance, Io ran to the back of the stage with a huge crease in his fine eyebrows. But even with the most sour expressions, Io was in no doubt an "Ikemen". He was not tall but not too very short. His long, black, shiny hair gathered a lot of shampoo endorsers. His lips were thin, and even without makeup, they were interestingly always reddish. His clear, huge, round, green eyes, the only thing both Misaki and Io seemed to have a similarity of have the ability to suck anyone in a different world. Only that Io's eyes were more sparkly due to the glittering effects. And he had fair, smooth silky skin even the girl fans envy.

Io was such an idol package that when he debuted, he became an instant hit among the young fans and even the older ones. Because he was always polite and humble and always had the kindest smile on his pretty face. But in truth, Io lacked two things important for a singer and an artist. A voice, and good personality.  
That was where Misaki came in to fill the gaps. Using Misaki's voice, Io ascended into stardom while treating Misaki a star in the shadows.

"What took you so long? I look like some stupid grinning like that while waiting!" Io hissed.

Riki-san only sighed and patted his star on the shoulders. "Sorry about that, well we had a hard tme setting Misaki up..."

"Misaki? Misaki again?" a brow was raised towards Misaki who was currently picking up the pieces of clothes Io just threw when he was changing. "Oi, next time, get your act faster okay? I hate it when I wait!"

"Yeah. Sorry...won't happen again," Misaki replied, but deep inside he was laughing his head out. _"Hah-that's some sort of revenge for taking the jacket I bought, you little thief. You have more money than I have, and yet you take what's not yours...tsk tsk..."_

* * *

Two days after the performance, Misaki finally had the go from Io's manager that he could visit his sick brother in the hospital. Their parents and grandparents were no longer on alive. And as if these were not enough hardships for the two, Takahiro came down with a fever, losing his sight and not being able to walk. On the brink of hopelessness, by fate, Misaki found an audition for a backdoor singer. He didn't have much hope being selected but he got the job. Although there were times Io's team treat Misaki harshly like he was just some kind of a tool, Misaki couldn't give up. Because it was Io's agency paying for his brother's hospitalization.

"Misaki...it's you isn't it?"

Smiling, Misaki sat on Takahiro's bed and squeezed his brother's hand. "Yes, Nii-chan..."

Takahiro squeezed back. "I heard your preformance last time. It was awesome. If not for my situation, you could have taken the praise and not the Io..."

"Ah Nii-chan!" Misaki exclaimed, nervously looking at the door he left open. "Don't say that, if someone hears it I am dead meat for sure. Riki-san will throw his weight on me, crushing me to my death!"

"Sorry...still...the praises and the admiration should have been for you...Misaki."

Scratching the tip of his nose and pulling his hood on his head, hiding his face, as if Takahiro could see his glistening face, Misaki looked lovingly at his brother. "Aww ..don;t make me laugh. Io is such a good looking person he is almost impossible. I wouldn't be able to compare. I am sure I won't ever be able to take even one step up the ladder with how I am."

"You look so lowly at yourself when you have the talent. Besides, my brother has his own charm..."

"Shush...you doting Nii-chan...do you think I will believe you? Hahaha..."

* * *

The brothers were enjoying their fresh mikan's when Misaki heard his phone ring its emergency tone.

"Aww..what is it this time...it's my off for crying out louuuuuud..." Misaki whined as he wiped his sticky hand on Takahiro's sleeves.

"Oi...Misaki..what the~~"

"Hahaha..peace Nii-chan...sorry I'll just take this call. It's Riki-san."

Jumping off the bed, Misaki went towards the window and answered the phone call.

"Hai?"

"So slow!"

"Sorry..."

"Come to the studio right this moment!"

Misaki frowned. "But it's my day off today..."

"Listen punk, you know Usami Akihiko?"

There was a sudden violent thumping in Misaki's chest.

"Of course! He's a famous composer, isn't he?" he answered, trying his best not to sound too damn excited.

"Well, his assistant called and said that the great composer saw Io's performance, and heard his voice...I mean your voice, and is interested at teaming up with us! And is also on his way to our office! So just in case, you have to be here!"

_Oh my God...the composer I am looking up to...How could I ever allow to miss the opportunity to be in the same building as him?!_

"Hai! I'm on my way!"

Screaming his sorries to his brother, Misaki flew to the Zone Management eager to finally see in person the great composer who hides his face in public. He already composed a number of songs sang by celebrities that became hit after hit after hit. That being offered by the composer himself to have a team-up was considered an honor in itself.

Usami Akihiko was like a living legend.

* * *

Panting like crazy, his tongue almost sticking out of his mouth, Misaki ran to the room Riki-san texted where they'd be having a short meeting with the famous composer and song writer.

"Oh...my god...finally..." he muttered, not caring about his sweaty face and messy head as he looked at the closed door, peeking shyly at the glass pane to see what was going on inside.

He roamed his eyes as fast as he could and saw Io already sitting mightly on one of the chairs of the huge round table. Riki-san, the other important persons in Zone Management as well. And then there, Misaki saw him. In a black suit, standing by the end of the table, with a very calming smile, he exuded an aura of a genius.

Misaki could only drool at the sight of his beloved composer. Most of his favorite songs were composed by this heavenly being. He had white hair due to age perhaps? Well he looked like he was in his fiftees already. But nevertheless, the old man was emitting a professional aura as he wave some papers in front of the Zone people.

_"Ah...are they the song he wants Io to sing?_" Misaki's eyes grew wide. "_Oh so then I will get to touch the music sheet he used himself! God...I am so excited.._." Misaki giggled still peeking at the small glass window that allowed him to see everything inside.

"Excuse me."

"Ah...can't you see there's a meeting on going inside?" Misaki brushed the voice off, still snickering in his own world.

"You're on my way. Move it."

"Why are you so rude~~" Misaki turned abruptly to glance at the irritating deep voice that was ordering him. But when he saw the person. He could only move aside silently. The tall man wearing a vest and a tie glared at him. He had such a demanding presence that left Misaki speechless.

The man turned the know open with his long fingers and was about to enter the room when he threw a glance at the blown away Misaki. "Why don't you come inside if you're that interested?"

"Ah...are you Akihiko-sama's assistant?"

"Just get in or stay there forever."

"Co-coming!"

* * *

Misaki stood at the corner of the room, together with the errand girls. He bowed his head in apology when Io, Riki-san and some higher-ups of the Zone Management threw a disapproving look at him.

_"Ah...I can take everything today...coz my wonderful idol is here before ~~"_

"Sorry for making you wait. I just had a sudden business coming but all is well now...so shall we begin the meeting?" the man who just ordered Misaki to move out of his way started.

_"Ha? Why is Usami-sama giving way for that rude guy?"_

Sitting on the chair the old man had pulled like royalty, the silver-haired man looked at Io for a long while and smiled. Misaki was again thrown out of his orbit.

_That smile...it's really familiar..._

"I am Usami Akihiko, nice to meet you Io."

Misaki's jaw almost dropped to the floor and he almost choke on where he was standing. Coughing and his eyes getting teary, he gulped huge amount of air to fill his surprised lungs and heart. And also avoiding the death glares Riki-san was throwing at him discreetly.

_"I just talked...did talk to the Usami Akihiko? Argh..but dang I was so impolite.._." Misaki observed the man who was kindly looking at Io but somehow had a reserved look when he looks at everybody else, including him. "_Fine...Io is always the special one...I can understand that...but look at him, he looks so young! Maybe about the same age as my brother?"_

_"I can't believe my hero is in front of me...I am not dreaming..."_

"So I have composed a song and I want Io to be the one to sing it. But I want to supervise him with the piece."

Getting worked up, Riki-san looked at Io worriedly and at Usami Akihiko. "Ah-about that Usami-san, Io had a traumatic experience before," he lied as he tapped Io on the shoulder and Io started acting out. "So he could only practice with me supervising him. So if it would be okay, just leave the piece to me, and I'll supervise Io. He's just not really that great with people he just first met."

The composer looked at the somehow delicate face of Io, staring at the green eyes of the youth and sighed. "I guess that can't be helped. But I want you to send me recordings of Io's progress..."

* * *

After the meeting that didn't last long, Misaki ran after Usami Akihiko. The tall man just looked at him with complete uninterest as he waited for Misaki to catch up on his breath.

"Usami-sama...I am sorry for how I acted earlier. It was impolite of me..."

The composer turned his back to get into his car but Misaki called out again.

"What is it this time?"

Misaki shyly extended a small notebook and a pen towards the composer. "If you don't mind, can I have your authograph?"

"No."

About to enter the car, there was another voice that called out to the composer. It was Io.

Smiling at Io, Usami Akihiko even walked towards the eighteen year old guy. "What is it?"

Misaki frowned at the sight. _"I didn't expect my hero to be not approachable. Uwah~rude people looked so good together...huh?"_

Io bowed first and then smiled back at the taller man. "I just wanted to thank you for choosing me Usami-sama."

"No...it is an honor for a composer like me to have someone with great talent sing my song. You deserve it."

"Usami-sama...thank you." Io blushed on the spot which made Misaki want to cringe.

"Just Akihiko is fine."

"Huh? But~"

"I want to be as close as possible to the people singing my songs. It's a shame you still have some trouble working with people you just met, but in this business, you have to learn to do it sooner."

Staggeringly, Io looked at Misaki then at Usami. "I'll remember that...A-Akihiko-san."

* * *

When the night came, Misaki rolled all over his bed thinking how the great Usami Akihiko rejected him when he asked for an autograph.

"He gave me the cold shoulder but he was all so fine with Io. Birds of the same feather...will really drown together!"

He lay on his stomach, looking at the small notebook where he writes lyrics when something pops inside his head. And in reality, he was so hurt by being rejected by the person he was looking up to. He wanted to hate the composer, but he was a great composer so he couldn't do that. He still have great respect for the man's craft.

Sighing, Misaki set his alarm clock at 4 am for his morning run. He does that to improve his breathing when singing. And although Usami Akihiko was nice to Io and not to him, still Misaki felt a little happy that the composer wanted to use his voice. That was more than dream come true for poor Misaki who didn't know at that time that a lot of hardship would come his way.

"Holding you...Holding you...It's in you River flows in youuuuu..." he sang and with that, Misaki fell to his dreamless sleep.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**  
1* River Flows in you by Yiruma is such a wonderful song. It's melody is addicting.  
2* True Light by Shunichi Miyamoto .This literally has one of the greatest voices ever! I could marry his voice!hahaha...Just imagine this voice serenading you...*dies*

FIY:

Io is pronounced as Ee-yo.^^

Sakaki Trees are considered sacred trees in Japan

Ikemen are good looking guys , pretty boys like a bishie

MY FIRST JR FIC! WAHAHAHAHA  
THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW!^^


	2. Awakening

Konnichi wa! I am so blown away by the very positive comments on the very first chapter. my grin is up to the back of my head! hahaha creepy ne? THANK YOU! THANK YOU! AND SO...chappy two...I hope you enjoy this too.^^

* * *

**Awakening **

* * *

Boring. That was the only thing Misaki could think of as he watched the expert hands of the hair stylist do its magic on Io's hair. He was sitting at the very corner of the screaming red sofa, lazily flipping through the magazines of what was in and what was not.

He sighed and looked around, nothing but Io's poster everywhere. Well, what could he expect? He was in Zone Management's dressing room anyway, with Io being the number one selling artist of the company. He by that time should have been used to it. He'd been Io's shadow singer for about three months already. But he found getting used to it hard.

"There, all done!" the hair stylist exclaimed, beaming at his master piece.

Without a change of facial expression, Io moved closer to the huge mirror in front of him. He raised his chin, moved his head sideways, as if looking not for anything he could praise about but to complain. The artist already knew this side of Io, and even though he wanted to cut Io's ear and pretend it was an accident, he couldn't. He was a professional after all. So instead, he just remained standing, smiling and waiting.

Raising his slender fingers on his neck, checking the lenght of his black hair, Io boredly look at the stylist and at his face again. "Not bad."

"Io, that haircut looks better than the one before, I think." Misaki commented. He and Io looking at each other through the mirror.

Gracefully, Io turned his body slightly to look at Misaki, his eyes squinting. "Did I ask you? That goes without saying." Then the young man stood ready to leave. "Whatever style looks good on me anyway." He mumbled, more to himself but the hair stylist and Misaki heard him still. And as if Misaki and the stylist had some mental telepathy, both looked the other way to hide their puffing faces.

"Ah-Misaki-kun~~" the stylist called suddenly. "Why don't I give you a haircut?"

"Huh? Me?" Misaki asked surprised. He was always the one cutting his own hair. He wasn't really the type to ride along the trend. "Is that alright?"

Rolling his eyes, the stylist named Arisaka walked towards Misaki on the sofa and reached for the youth's hair. His fingers gently brushing the long locks of hair on Misaki's face.

The stylist being a tall man, it caught Misaki by surprise when his seemingly only real friend in Zone leaned closer to him. The older man's face above him.

Misaki, who didn't find anything malicious in it stared at the jet black eyes that seemed to be scrutinizing his every pore.

"What is it? Arisaka-san?" Misaki asked grinning. He found their situation rather funny, considering that he could see in the corners of his eyes Io who instead of going out of the dressing room, stopped by the door and watched them with a disgusted face.

Arisaka's fingers took hold of Misaki's jaw and lifted the young man's face left and right, up and down while wearing a frown on his face.

"Are you trying to break my neck?" was Misaki's comment, just allowing his friend with whatever he was doing to him.

"Tsk tsk..." Arisaka started, letting go of Misaki's face. He stood straight, his arms crossed across his chest. "I've always noticed this Misaki-kun, but you have really beautiful eyes. You have the same eye color as Io's. Your facial features isn't bad either. Why are you hiding them behind your hair? Don't you know it could damage your vision?"

Not knowing how he would respond, since it was only his brother praising him, Misaki looked shyly from the stylist to his appearance in the mirror.

Arisaka then nodded at Io who was looking at Misaki. "What do you think Io? Should we give him a total makeover? He's your shadow singer after all."

Raising his perfect brow, Io laughed a forceful one while waiving his left hand in front of his face as if shooing a fly. "What? What does he need to look good for? He's a SHADOW SINGER after all. And it's not like having a hair cut would transform him into something else."

Finished with his speech, Io left the room after leaving his last comment. "Funny people."

* * *

Arisaka's nose crinkled as he tried to grab Misaki off the sofa so he could start his craft. But Misaki didn't move and he just stared at his reflection.

"Aww...don't mind him! He's the one being funny doing all the lypsynching on the stage with your voice. He should feel grateful to you and ashamed at himself. I wonder why his personality sucks!"

"It's fine. I am not bothered by him," Misaki answered, with his eyes still looking at his reflection.

His friend was right. His hair was almost hiding half of his face. And he might look unkept even. He only wore cheap clothes and never really did care about how he looked. That haircut, his haircut was the ideal one for him for a certain reason only his brother know.

"Oi...come on Misaki...I only have a couple free minutes before I go to the other artists..." the stylist continued to urge.

"It's fine. I don't want a hair cut Arisaka-san."

"Hah? If you're worried about the fee, I am not charging you any! Looking at you hurts my eyes so do me a favor and seat on that chair so we can start."

Gently pulling his arm away, Misaki looked at Arisaka and smiled apologetically. "Thanks, but I like it this way."

"You like that you look like an 'emo' out of season?" He glared at the younger man. And knowing Misaki won't change his mind once he settled for something, Arisaka smacked Misaki lightly on the head before turning his back. "You're hurting me. Am I not good enough?"

"Eh...you know it's not because of it!" Misaki blurted looking worried.

The artist stuck his tongue in front of the mirror, allowing Misaki to see that he was just kidding. "Okay then, fine. I'll just go to the other room then to start working. But if you change your mind, I'm sorry but it's not going to be for free anymore."

Once Arisaka-san was gone, with Misaki all alone inside the dressing room specially for Io's use alone, Misaki slowly walked towards the mirror and looked at his face closely. No, he wouldn't want any other hair cut. The reason was because he couldn't take it when people stare at him. When people watch him intently.

Misaki brushed his long bangs away from his green eyes for a moment and slowly let them fall back in front of his face. "This is why I am fine with being only a shadow singer. I can't stand being watched...I get extremely nervous."

Then pulling his hood back on his head he walked towards the door and closed the lights. Having his hair fall before his face, it doesn't just act as a shield from the piercing glances of people, he could also just stay behind his comfort zone while watching the rest of the world before him without them knowing.

And if Io was lacking a voice to be called a real singer, Misaki was lacking the courage to stand before huge crowds to be called a real performer.

"I am a shadow singer after all. I don't need make overs. I don't need to stand out. All I need is the money for Nii-chan's hospitalization..."

The heavy door opened slowly, giving off a creaking sound. The old man, Usami Akihiko's right-hand man scanned the room with a tray of tea on his hands. His eyes traced the neat bookshelves, the bright rays coming from the windows with venetian blinds, and the work table void of any activity.

Usami Akihiko was not just a composer and a song writer, he also owned a school for music that only the rich people attend to. Located in a modern building in the middle of the skycrapers in Tokyo, it was a symbol of the said man's success. However, even when he should be the acting head of the school, the composer only goes there to kill time, sometimes scanning the faces of the students from afar as if looking for someone.

However, after meeting with Io, the rising singer three days ago, the old man noticed that instead of staring out at the students' faces, Usami Akihiko started just killing his time inside his private room located inside his office, as if he already found the one he was looking for.

Clearing his throat, he called from outside of the private room. "Usami-sama, I've brought you some tea."

There was a grunt and a long silence before the composer answered. "Come in..." was the raspy voice's response.

After entering the private room, the old man frowned at the silver-haired man sweating on his recliner.

"Sir? You look like you're in pain..."

Lazily, Usami turned to his side and opened his heavy eyes, squinting at his loyal friend and acting Head of the school when he was in his lazy mode. "Argh-it's nothing...just lack of sleep..."

"_Lack of sleep?_" the old man thought to himself. Usami was doing nothing for the last couple of days, how come he lacked of sleep?

Frowning in discomfort, he started unbuttoning the first few buttons of his navy blue, long sleeved polo. "Just let me sleep Honda-san, I'll be fine. And don't turn off the lights."

Quietly leaving the tray of tea on the empty desk on the side, the old man threw one final glance at the heavy-breathing man across him and shook his head.

* * *

When Usami Akihiko heard the door close, he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and raised it to his face, still lying on his back. The frown in his brows disappeared for a moment as if the discomfort he was feeling lightened instantly.

"After saving me ten years ago...I heard it again when I am feeling directionless. How many times are you going to save me?" He smiled to himself as he stared with cherishing eyes at a photo of Io who was hugging a disabled girl, apparently his fan when he visited some home for the physically challenged. "Do you still remember me?"

Ten years ago, a little far from their villa in Okinawa, eighteen year old Usami Akihiko ran to his refuge. The back side of the little shrine where people seldom go. His father was forcing him to enter into a business course despite the young man not agreeing to it. Usami wanted to go study in Julliard and pursue music. However, at that time he was still considered underage, still under his father's control. And after endless arguments and tiring cycle of discussions about his future, he gave up.

_He looked wearily at the silent place and closed his eyes. Humming the last song he would ever hum, and writing the last song he would ever compose. Instantly, the calmness he felt while humming, and while thinking of a new song drove him to a different level of satisfaction._

_"Yes, this is the last time...before becoming a puppet of the Usami-clan..."_

_However, he felt another presence around him that when he opened his eyes, his eyes met a pair of shocked, huge green ones and the boy fell on his bottom. The chocolate-haired kid seemed to have been surprised by something, leaving Usami wonder if he looked like some ghost. He was at the back of a shrine after all._

_Usami remembered the boy looked at him with interest when he started talking about music. And he remembered the young boy's timber of voice, humming a song he only just heard for the first time. The lively boy had talent. And had a huge future ahead of him. Unlike him being tied in the destiny and responsibilities of being born into a wealthy family._

_That time he thought,_ "I want to write a song for this kid. I want this kid to sing my songs...but..."

"Then I will become a singer!" _the voice cut into his train of thoughts. He looked at the boy intently. And without thinking he extended his hand, making a vow of becoming a composer and make a song for him._

_They made a deal. But to Usami Akihiko it was just some random talk so as not to make the boy feel bad. He watched the small frame bounce back to where he came from. It was sad watching the boy go. Why can a mere boy understand the beauty of music, and not the people around him he expected to support him?_

_That day, before they parted, the boy, who Usami never got to ask the name suddenly turned to face him when he was already far from the Shrine._

"Nii-san! Thank you!"_ the boy shouted._

_Usami waived the music sheets to let the boy know he heard him._

"River flows inside of you too Nii-san!"

"Hah!?"

"Rivers can't be stopped! So I also will not stop to reach my dream! Bye bye!"

_Standing like a statue in the middle of the clearing, Usami's shoulders shook as he gripped the music sheets tighter. At first it was small, but his laugh grew louder and louder until he could hear his own voice bounce back at him._ "Can't be stopped...huh?"

It was just a short encounter, but the boy did save him from being pulled by the current. Instead he became the river...thanks to that simple encouragement and into that voice he will never forget. Sure ten years had passed. The voice was no longer the same as before. But when Usami Akihiko by chance heard Io's voice late at night in some Music Video Channel, his senses tensed up. The voice was more mature, but that feeling he couldn't explain when he heard the young boy hum his favorite song was there. And it pierced all his nerves.

There was no mistaking it.

Misaki lifted his gaze as far as he could, but the sun stung his eyes so he looked back to the person he least wanted to be with. Io.

"Oi, Mi-sa-ki...be careful on that because the contents are expensive."

"Huh?" Misaki held the box covered with flower-pattered fabric as a wrapper tighter. His face sweating from the heat while Io was as composed as ever. The 'singer' was wearing sunglasses to hide his features, and a red cap to complete his disguise. Slowly he took his graceful steps towards the entrance of the building.

"Nikaowa School of Music?" Misaki read the sign and then threw a funny look at the back of Io's head. "_Is he going to take singing lessons now? Pffft..."_

Reaching the security scanner of the building, Io frowned at his sweaty companion. "What are you snickering about?"

Stepping inside the body scanner, Misaki feighned ignorance. "Io, why are we here anyway?" Misaki asked. He was beginning to think that he was becoming not just a shadow singer but also Io's real life shadow. He was always being ordered to follow the brat anywhere like he was his nanny.

"Ohhh...didn't you know?" Io leered. "This school is Usami Akihiko's."

Awestruck, Misaki whirled to take in the interior he was seeing. He only knew the genius composer to be just a composer and songwriter...not this. He felt the distance to become like the person he was looking up to grow even wider.

The two entered an elevator and Io pressed 14.

"What are we doing here? Music lessons from the genius himself?"

Io removed his sunglasses, revealing his annoyed green eyes at Misaki. "Are you an idiot? Of course not! We're bringing that gift to him. Riki-san told me to bring that in person to strenghten ties."

Misaki didn't say anything anymore until they reached the 14th floor.

The hallway they reached was empty. Probably because classes were on going was what Misaki was thinking. The two continued to walk the long hallway and then Io stopped.

"You go first to his office."

"Huh? What's wrong"

"I'll just fix my hair in the rest room."

Misaki narrowed his eyes at Io's perfect hair. "It's fine."

"You wouldn't understand anyway. Just go to the farthest side, that's where his office is supposed to be. Tell him I was just trying to cool myself because it was hot outside."

The moment Misaki turned his back to continue to the great composer's office, he started making faces. "Cooling off? And even telling me to lie? No way..."

* * *

He couldn't deny that his heart was violently thumping inside his frail chest. The first impression of the great composer of him wasn't that good in the first place.

Like some cautious thief, Misaki glanced sideways first before knocking. "Uhm-Usami-sama...?"

Misaki waited for an answer but there was no reply. Nervously, with his hands going sweaty, Misaki frowned at the box he was carrying. "Did the management even informed we're coming? What if not? This is just sooo rude..."

Drawing a deep breath, Misaki again called.

No one.

"Io is sure taking so long...and no one's answering..."

Sneakily, Misaki turned the knob. His curiosity at how the work place of a prominent name might be like increasing by the minute. "Excuse me?" He called, peeking with his head first.

Both relieved and somehow disappointed at seeing an empty room, Misaki carefully placed the box on the center table he saw. He was relieved no one was there, but disappointed at the way the office was. He imagined a messy place like most geniuses were being portrayed. But all he saw was just a neat, typical office. Nothing exciting.

He was about to leave the office when he heard a grunt. A little surprised but more worried, Misaki paced the room to look where it was coming from. The grunt sounded like whoever it was was in real pain.

Misaki scanned the spacious office and noticed a more narrow door compared to the doors he saw in the building. He walked towards it on tip toe. And then he heard it again.

Slowly opening the door, Misaki gulped at the intrusion he was doing. But he had a sick brother to take care of, and bad or not, it became a part of him to poke into someone else's business, especially when it comes to pain in the body.

The first thing Misaki saw after opening the door was Usami Akihiko's sweating profile and laboured breathing. Panicking, Misaki decided to run outside and call for help.

"Water..."

Instantly, Misaki scanned the room for anything. There was no water but there was tea. "This should be fine right?"

Taking the cup of tea with him, he kneeled before Usami's recliner, trying to help the man drink.

"Usami-sama...here...slowly..."

His brows in a deep furrow, Misaki tried to wipe the liquid that flowed to the older man's neck with his handkerchief. And to Misaki's surprise, the still seemingly unconsious man grabbed his wrist.

"Uhm...Usa-"

"...ng" Usami Akihiko muttered under his laboured breath.

Realizing that the man was saying something, Misaki lowered his head to listen carefully.

"What?"

"...for me again..."

"Huh?" Misaki leaned closer. Close enough for him to notice the surprisingly long lashes of the sick man.

"Sing...for me again~~" Usami Akihiko's voice repeated.

"S-sing?" the dumbfounded young man repeated. _"God he's being delirious."_ "Wait here Usami-sama, I'll call for help..."

But Usami's hold on Misaki's wrist wouldn't loosen.

"Please..."

Looking at the Usami Akihiko's sweaty face and then at the door alternatingly, Misaki sighed and kneeled once more. "This is really crazy..."

Misaki didn't sing. But he did hum a tune.

"What's going on here?!" Io shouted.

Misaki was busy humming that he didn't notice Io already coming into the office. When he turned to look at the black-haired guy, Misaki saw a glint of something he couldn't comprehend. As if he was stealing something from Io.

"He...Usami-sama is sick..." Misaki answered, his brain not working anymore.

Taking huge, mad steps towards Misaki, Io pulled Misaki's hand away from the composer's grasp. "Sick? And you're humming him back to health? Are you retarded?!"

"~But..."

"Go outside and look for help!"

Not complaining anymore, Misaki dashed out the private room of Usami Akihiko's office and looked for assistance as he dialled 119 in his phone for emergency.

"Argh..." Usami grunted, slowly raising his hand to wipe his own sweat off his forehead.

"A-Akihiko-san? Akihiko-san can you hear me?"

The lavender hues were revealed as Usami started opening his eyes. He instantly noticed the green eyes staring at him worriedly. And when he looked at his right hand that was gripping hard into something, he realized it was Io's wrist, the young man's hand almost losing it's color.

"Io?"

With a sigh of relief, Io smiled broadly. "That's right Akihiko-san...how are you feeling?"

"You were here the whole time?" Usami asked, gently releasing his grip on the boy's thin wrist as he started to sit.

Io stood. "That's not important Akihiko-san, do you feel any pain else where? Help is about to arrive...don't worry..." he said before taking his steps out the room.

However, Usami grabbed Io's wrist, but this time more gently. He looked up at the pair of emerald eyes which were looking at him questioningly. "So you were here the whole time?" Usami repeated, before pulling the young man to him.

Flustered, Io struggled to break free rather weakly. "A-Akihiko-san! What are you doing?!"

"Just stay like this for a minute," a husky voice whispered in Io's ear that made the younger man shiver. 'You don't know but you saved me again this time..."

"Eh~what are you talking about?"

"Your humming...called me out of that pathetic nightmare."

"Humming?" Io repeated, and then remembered what Misaki was doing when he came into that room.

The hug grew tighter, and it made Io feel a little ticklish, when Usami snuggled in his neck.

"Why do you alway arrive when I don't know what to do?"

Io didn't say anything.

Running on the hallways, Misaki made his way back to Usami's office. He didn't care if some of the students looked at him with displeasure. He just ran as fast as he could. The ambulance said they'd be there soon.

He really wanted to check back on the composer again if he was feeling any better so he put on more speed. When Misaki entered the office however, he turned his back, not going inside the private office anymore and went out.

Resting his back againts the door he just closed, he shut his eyes trying to catch up on his breath. He wiped his sweaty face with his hand and then gulped huge amount of air to calm himself. He threw his head backwards, still huffing.

He always run for breathing exercises, but this was the first time he wondered if running can somehow sting his violently beating muscle inside his chest. There was a pain he couldn't comprehend.

Was it the running? Or seeing his beloved composer hugging Io?

Gripping the hem of his shirt, Misaki turned his head at the closed door behind his back, as if seeing behind it. "I don't understand..."

* * *

**FYI:**

119 Japan's emergency number for fire or medical services

The school's name owned by Usami here is just made up, but has a meaning. ^^

THANK YOU FOR READING AND YOUR TIME. PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS. LOL..HATE IO! HATE HIM! BUT I LOVE AS WELL.!^^~~~~~ JA...


	3. Eyes and Smiles

**Eyes and Smiles**

* * *

"Why the long face?"

Takahiro had been listening to his younger brother sigh for so many times he couldn't count anymore. And what was more intriguing was it sounded like it came from the deepest part of the young man's frustration.

"Oi...Misaki..."

But no answer came. The young man who was currently flying off to somewhere by sitting on Takahiro's window just sighed again, accompanied by a frown. Not long after that, a grunt escaped his mouth while ruffling his chocolate hair in an irrittated fashion. Knowing he wouldn't get the attention of his brother by mere calling, Takahiro picked his old model phone from the side table and dialled his younger brother's number instead.

Misaki almost fell from the window. Good thing it was on the first floor and he was able to grab on to the sides. Totally back to his senses, Misaki fished his phone out of his pocket and looked at the caller with a confused face. He darted his questioning green eyes at his brother.

"Nii-chan? Why are you calling me with your phone? I mean I am here in front of you..."

Takahiro raised a brow. "Well, my younger brother's mind is not on Earth...so I figured your phone will pull you back."

Realizing that his mind had been really wandering off, Misaki walked towards the bed of his brother and sat on it. He smiled sadly then scratched the tip of his nose. "Sorry, something just happened..."

"And what is it?"

Misaki looked at the ceiling, then at the window, then at his brother, his every move clearly showed how uncomfortable it was for him to talk about it.

"Come on...you always tell me what's bothering you..."

"You see...Nii-chan..." Misaki unconsiously gripped the white sheet of the bed as he started gathering his thoughts. "I...you know my dream composer?"

Takahiro rested his back against the pillow, satisfied that Misaki was already talking. "Let's see...The person you said you'd kill just for you to see? The person you said you wouldn't mind marrying despite being a guy? The guy you said whose songs you wanted to sing..."

Misaki frowned, his cheeks reddening at the embarrassment. "Nii-chan! I am not a kid anymore! Don't say those embarrassing things!"

A hearty laugh was Takahiro's reply before turning serious. "Okay...okay... the Usami Akihiko?"

"Yes." Misaki inched closer at his brother as if someone else would hear him. "He...he offered Io to sing the songs he composed. On top of that they've become pretty close after that incident..."

"Wait..." the older brother frowned. "Io...so that means YOU will sing?"

Misaki smiled a sad one at his brother before looking back at the window. A sad look passed his expressive eyes that Takahiro could only pat his younger brother on the shoulder.

"Misaki...are you sad that it's Io that Usami Akihiko praises and not you? To be honest that's a first...you were never bothered by these things before...I guess it is really different if it's the person you look up to...I'm sorry Misaki..."

"Eh...why are you apologizing?! Besides Nii-chan...the real reason I feel restless is...I feel so bad deceiving him. It feels so not right..." Plus when I saw them so close with each other...I felt mad for no proper reason...

"Tell him. Introduce yourself. If he went into the trouble of asking Io to sing his songs, that means that composer recognizes your talent. I am sure if he realizes the truth, he would understand. It's not too late Misaki."

"Nah...it's okay!" Misaki exclaimed, leaving the bed and pulling his hood back on his head. "If I do that, Riki-san and the rest of the ZONE management would be in total chaos...I don't want that to happen."

_Where will I also get money to the hospital bills and your medications Nii-chan...it's thanks to Zone that we are here in the private hospital and not just somewhere...I cannot lose this deal, even if it costed me my dream..._Misaki bit his bottom lip at the sudden question that popped in his head. _Eh what is even my dream?_

_To sing of course..._

He drifted again to his own world of weighing things. But instead, he remembered Usami Akihiko embracing Io. And to his surprise, Io's face changed into someone else. It changed into his face.

_"What the hell!"_

* * *

Looking like he was mourning, Misaki lifelessly entered Zone Managament building and headed straight to the office where he gets instructions. He noticed tons of flowers when he opened Riki-san's office. It was so full of flowers of different kinds that suddenly it felt like the summer outside became spring inside the four walls of that room.

He slowly closed the door like a cat, not a sound was heard and so no one noticed the star in the shadows enter. At the far side of the office, there was a group of people gathered in a circle, serious in whatever they were talking about. Misaki knew better not to interrupt so he just waited till somebody would notice him. But no one did.

"Riki-san, what should we do? Usami Akihiko has really took a liking of Io he even sent these flowers as a thanks for being saved by Io. Not only that, the composer sent a mail that he would want to bring Io abroad to help broaden Io's horizon and popularity. But this is too risky," the sounds technician whispered. His favorite headset with skull print resting on his neck.

"You don't have to tell me that. I know," The chubby man hissed before massaging his temples.

A woman with a smart look bit her pen before eyeing each of the men in the circle. "What if...we just tell Usami-san who the real singer is. He's captivated by the voice anyway. If we let him know that Io has a shadow singer I think it would make everything for us easier. Let's just do it the way we've been doing it! Why must we keep this as a secret anyway?"

"Tsk...tsk...the real problem is Usami Akihiko also invested a huge amount in Zone. If he realizes we;ve deceived him, god knows what will happen to Zone. So we started it...we better stand for it till the end."

The woman frowned. "We're in a huge problem now...I tell you we tell the composer before we even record the first song. It's not too late Riki-san."

"Shut up, Suzuha. This won't be discovered unless one of you people sings," Riki-san suddenly looked as if he remembered something important. "And if that twerp won't say anything, we're all fine. Where's Takahashi Misaki anyway?!"

At the mention of his name, Misaki took a step forward clearing his throat. "I'm here."

Riki stood from his seat and circled around Misaki, eyeing the young man from head to foot. "You heard everything?"

Ashamed, Misaki just nodded, his bangs following his moves.

"So you know the situation now, young man. Will you sing us out then? I know for a fact you're a crazy fan of that Usami Akihiko."

Emerald eyes wandered around the room before looking directly at the man incharge for paying his brother's hospital bills. "I know my position Riki-san."

The man gave Misaki a rather strong pat on the back Misaki felt his ribs might crack. "Good boy. Good boy...you know what exactly will happen if Usami finds out. We're all dead. Even your brother."

The hood hid Misaki's face full of contradiction at what he heard. But he knew it was true. If anything...the worst to be affected was him and his beloved brother.

All eyes were on Io, Misaki and three more people dancing in the rehearsal room. They'd been invited into a late night entertainment show on AzahiTV. And Riki-san being the perfectionist, he wanted all the dance moves to be fluid, perfect, flowing. Aside from the dancing, it was Misaki who sang the song. After being recorded so Io could lypsyn it, his second job was to become a back-up dancer of Io. With this set-up, people won't have to complain and ask why a certain no-name was always together and following Io. A real shadow.

And so while Io was on the spot, Misaki was behind Io, dancing with the other three members. It was pathetic. But Misaki couldn't help but smile when people scream Io's name. He felt it was him. And since the eyes weren't directly focused at him, he can dance alright.

Misaki felt he was flying. It felt so good to dance and hear his voice at the same time. But his trance suddenly stopped when something hard flew to his head.

"Aww..." Misaki grunted, the music stopped and Io and the rest of the group stopped dancing, looking at Misaki and at Riki-san who just threw an empty bottle of water at Misaki's head.

Massaging the side of his head, Misaki turned to look at the frowning man.

"TAKAHASHI...don't forget that you are Io's _back-up_ dancer! You should dance properly but not outshine the _REAL_ star here! Don't get carried away brat!" The chubby man sat again and pressed the start button. "Once again! Start!"

The other dancers and artists watching the dance rehearsal just acted like nothing happened. If they were to give comments or anything, they knew it would be them to carry Riki-san's anger. And so, Misaki instead focused his eyes at the huge mirror before him. Observing his every move and Io's.

Sing for Io. Dance but not outshine Io. It was the start of the retaliation inside him. But he didn't know yet that he was starting to harbor such feelings.

* * *

The night of the live airing, Misaki peeked at the set of the show. It was jam packed full. He drew a deep breath as he scanned the eager eyes of girl fans on the set. It was still dimly lit to create the air of suspence. But his eyes didn't fail to notice a certain tall guy standing at the very back of the audience.

"U-sami-sama...?" Misaki whispered, as if a knot had been tied to his throat. "He's going to watch?"

As if he was glued on where he was standing, Misaki watched the great composer look at the main stage with complete boredom. He even noticed a little yawn coming from the man hidden by long fingers. Inching a little closer while squinting his eyes, Misaki smiled at himself. His beloved composer would see their production with his own eyes. He meant Io's show but what difference did that make?

Him not revealing his face to the public gave Usami Akihiko the liberty to go where he pleased. A thing he wouldn't be able to do if the public knew how he looked like. There would surely be a riot wherever he goes.

The young man felt so excited to perform in front of Usami Akihiko. He would just think that it was just the great composer being the only audience. But his smile faded when Misaki saw a sweet smile formed on Usami's lips. His emerald eyes followed the older man's sight and realized that Io was at the other side of the stage sneaking and throwing little waives at the composer. It didn't help his restlessness when the composer waived back once. And read the words forming in the man's perfect mouth. "Ganbatte" Misaki read.

Misaki turned his back and moved away from the back of the stage feeling...sad.

"Oi...Misaki-kun!" a voice called out.

But Misaki didn't hear it and continued walking like a hunch back.

"Eh?!" the young man yelped as he felt his arms being yanked forcefully to a free folding chair not far from them.

The tall man with long curly hair threw Misaki on the chair and glared at Misaki who was looking equally surprised at what his friend was doing.

"Arisaka-san? Why?"

With a devilish grin, the stylist of Io and real friend of Misaki raised a hairclip with his long fingers. "He-he...do you think I will let you face the audience with that face of yours?"

"Bu-but Arisaka-san!" Misaki started to stand to get away from his friend but he was pushed back on the chair.

The tall man lowered his face at Misaki and sneered. "My beloved Misaki baby...you look awfully cute tonight...you look so slim in that black shirt and I just love the style of your comouflage pants. Your shoes are a kick ass too..." he continued, his face nearing Misaki's by the second.

"And? You're saying?" Misaki asked, trying to move his face away.

"What I am saying is that hair ruins everything! Let me clip a portion of that bangs away from your face you punk!"

"EH?!"

"Come on...STOP STRUGGLING!"

The two exchanged some light blows first before Arisaka-san successfully clipped a portion of Misaki's hair away from his face. He looked at Misaki with a huge satisfied smile, clapping his hands while hooting.

"This...is totally sooooo cute Misaki-chan!" The stylist exclaimed, suddenly rubbing his cheek on Misaki's embarrassed cheek.

"Don't call me Misaki-chan! Argh...I'll remove this..."

"No!" The stylist moved away then pulled a small mirror from his pocket. "Look, don't you look better? I mean, true Io is the real star of the show, but as your friend, I don't want you to lose in anyway. You are the real star here, not all may know it but I KNOW IT."

* * *

The dim set and the quiet stage due to the silent eager fans broke into a room of screaming spree. The opening drums filled the entire studio. So strong it was like drumming against every one's chest instead. The spot lights started showing off their colors, roaming at every spot of the studio. Then a smoke escaped the lower sides of the stage that sent the fans grow even wilder. They stomped their feet, clapped their hands and waived their banners with huge "Io-kun daisuki!" in bold red letters.

Usami Akihiko stood there back against the wall, he waited at the start of the performance with the same eagerness of the fans, but it didn't show much on his face being sexily accentuated by the changing colors of the light effects.

And then there it was. The lights stopped at the group of five young people, with Io at the center. When the music started and Io started singing and dancing, every one screamed, some even cried at their closeness with Io. (if you want to see the performance just copy this link. I SWEAR...THE ONE HOLDING THE MICROPHONE IS IO AND THE SMALL GUY IN BLACK SHIRT IS MISAKI.^^ 【 ** ww w -dot- y o u tu be -dot- c om / watch?v=HGe4_yXqvX0** 】)

The great composer had his arms across his chest. He was even tapping his fingers against his arm as he watched Io dance and sing gracefully amidst the crazy fangirls and some guy fans too. Io was a picture of complete confidence who had everything in control.

"Great...very nice...he seemed to be really enjoying what he was doing," Usami commented in his head.

Then when the dancers changed places, just for a moment, Usami Akihiko noticed another dancer singing to the beat. He could tell because of the way the young man opens his mouth. And he was sure he couldn't be mistaken that the guy was looking at him while he was dancing. He wasn't the high light of the show but he noticed the spirit of excellence from the young man with bouncy hair.

"That boy will go far given the opportunity," Usami thought to himself.

Usami smiled at Misaki. The great composer might not be all expressive, but he knew raw talent when he sees it. And Misaki almost lost his footing at the sight. Good thing he was able to get into his balance and continue to the steps. And at that moment, Misaki felt that all the rehearsals and the hardships and the mocking were all worth it. Usami Akihiko smiled at him and not at Io for once.

* * *

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" Io hissed.

On the empty hallways of Azahi TV near the stairway, Io and Misaki stood close, face to face.

"I missed one of my routines at the end because YOU were blocking me!"

Misaki looked down. True, he got a little carried away that Usami Akihiko smiled at him so he forgot he had to give a little way for Io at the end so the guy could do his final whirl.

"Sorry..."

"Sorry? Fuck that sorry! You wait till Riki-san scolds you...Shit...and that was even one of the highlights!"

Usami Akihiko was looking for Io to congratulate the young man for such a splendid production number. That was when he noticed Io and another shorter guy at the side of the stairway. If he wasn't mistaken, the shorter guy was the one looking at him while he was dancing. He even smiled back at the raw talent. Io's back was facing him so he couldn't see clearly. Only the apologizing face of the other one could be seen.

The great composer walked a little faster towards the two. But before he reached them, a swarm of fangirls appeared out of nowhere and completely formed a barricade around Io. Screaming his name, asking for authograph. And as if it was a different person from the angry one before, he smiled so charmingly at the fans as he started descending the stairs. The fans following him, leaving Misaki alone.

"Hey move!" A girl had slapped Misaki on the arm. The chocolate-haired guy could only gape in shock.

Misaki felt a vibrating from inside his pocket and fished his phone out. He read the message in bold letters and he felt some hot tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes. Riki never hurt him physically, but Misaki grew a phobia of how sharp the man's tongue was. It could slice his heart to million pieces and stitching them back takes a lot of time and comforting from his brother. He gripped his phone tightly as he bowed his head like he was some defeated hero.

"GET YOUR ASS HERE THIS INSTANT. WE'LL TALK REAL GOOD. PUNK." was the message from the raging Riki-san. Io's manager.

Misaki didn't notice that there were a few girls running towards his direction, trying to catch up on Io. The last girl's hook from her bag accidentally caught on Misaki's shirt, pulling the poor young man down with not a single balance on his feet.

Misaki could only see how painful and hard his landing would be but somebody had just grabbed him by the waist. At the exact moment he was about to crash his face broken on the cold, hard floor, a firm hold stopped his fall.

The still shocked young man raised his head to look at the face of his savior. He couldn't believe his teary eyes when he saw Usami Akihiko's face frowning at the girl who even stuck her tongue out. But suddenly felt embarrassed herself when she realized how good-looking the silver-haired man was and ran off and disappeared to thin air.

Feeling awkward by having such toned arms around his waist, Misaki hurriedly got out of the grasp and bowed a million times at the Usami Akihiko.

"Sorry...sorry," Misaki apologized, not lifting his gaze at the composer. Afraid that his tears would drop any moment.

Not sure why, but Usami Akihiko had the urge to pat the mop of chocolate hair before him. And when he did, it felt perfect against his palm. Like it was supposed to be there. Like destined to be there.

Misaki stared at the floor with wide eyes. He slowly raised his face at the tall man before him, completely in awe. He didn't even realize his tears were already running down his cheeks. And the composer could only watch the huge eyes staring at him. Eyes so round, so green, as if he was being sucked into somewhere else.

"Uhm-ah what...?" wiping his eyes with his arm, Misaki bowed again. "Sorry and thank you..."

There was another vibrating from the phone. This time Misaki knew it wasn't just a text message but a call and he knew already from whom it was coming from without looking at the caller ID.

Finally calming his hot face, the young man bowed a deep one for the last time and smiled gratefully at the composer. "Thank you so much for helping me!"

Usami Akihiko watched the running figure leave him alone in the again empty hallway. There was a nostalgic feeling at the smile the young man just gave him he couldn't explain.

Already far from him, Misaki stopped from running and turned to face the tall man. "I am your fan! Thank you!" Misaki shouted before entering a huge door and completely disappearing from Usami's lavender eyes.

Unconsciously, Usami started smiling himself. "What a strange boy..."

He started walking away and decided to just wait at the waiting room for the VIPs. He still wanted to see Io before leaving the premises. But as if he was called by someone, his body turned on its own and looked at the empty hallway where Misaki had vanished.

The way Misaki had just called out to him suddenly reminded him of the young boy he was with ten years ago in that clearing. The boy who urged him not to give up his dreams.

"Io..." Usami Akihiko thought. But Misaki's face, with the familiar green eyes flashed before his eyes as well together with Io's. As if he was looking at two photos.

* * *

FIY:  
Azahi TV is something that i just made up.^^  
Video: Merochin (the guy in the middle) and Ryo (the cute guy in black shirt) were just a few of the people I am currently stalking.^^ ...haha

THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS about the fic and VIDEO! HAHAHA

-shuusetsu【**春****mao**】


	4. Untitled

**Untitled**

* * *

Feeling butterflies in the pits of his stomach, Misaki shifted from the swivel chair and clasped his sweating hands underneath the long oval table. His candle-like fingers trembling, unseen from the group of grown-ups having a meeting. He slowly exhaled the tension inside his chest from his mouth as he watched Usami Akihiko watch Io's reaction at the music sheet his old secretary had just distributed to them.

Being allowed to the meeting of Zone people and the great composer was already enough to make Misaki all jittery, but seeing the music sheet right there, he wasn't ready yet and he was afraid to even look at it, let alone touch it in front of every body. God knows he might start jumping up the table from over excitement so he just looked at the facial expressions of everybody.

"This music had been with me before I started my career as a composer...strange that the lyrics just came to me after ten years..." come the cold yet solid voice as he started a little background of his newest piece. "What do you think, Io?"

Io who had been looking at the music sheet intently lifted his green gems and as if he was thinking of a proper answer, he scratched his cheek lightly with his index finger. "The lyrics...the song I mean is very sad... like something you wanted but you know inside you it's not very easy to reach...I can very much relate to it, Usa-eh Akihiko-san."

Usami nodded, smiling at Io. A rare smile he only gives to people he adores. Too bad he was giving it to someone who doesn't deserve it.

"Exactly...Io...exactly..." Something I want...but hard to take. "So as you all may notice, the song doesn't have a title yet. I want the singer to come up with the title, how he," Usami looked at Io first then at everyone. "...would interpret the song."

The huge room in cream with a few paintings from Usami's collection caught Misaki's attention instead. He didn't like looking at the person he was looking up to and the person who was making his life a little more miserable than it already was look at each other as if they have some certain connection. A connection he and the great composer obviously didn't have.

All the one hour inside that meeting room passed slowly in Misaki's ears as he fidgeted his fingers to the tune he knew by heart. A tune shared to him by a lost friend before they parted. The greenery came back to him. The breeze playing and swaying the silver locks that appeared white as the sun rays showered it. The white polo that seemed like an angel's dazzled his eyes. A heavenly friend he wouldn't find anywhere in the world.

_"Nii-san...I have to go home now...my brother must be screaming his eyeballs out."_

_Lavender eyes looked at his wrist watch a little disappointed. The memory was already foggy that it was only the sad smile from those perfectly formed lips was the thing Misaki could remember before feeling a comforting pat on his messy mop of hair, swaying with the soft breeze. "I'm glad you came..."_

_Little hands touched the smooth, cheeks before him. The sweet child in him naturally coming out despite the older boy being a stranger. "Nii-san, could you sing for me one last time? Something that you composed yourself?"_

_"Why? I thought you liked "River Flows in You"?"_

_"I like it! But I'd undertand you more if I listen to something you composed yourself..."_

_"That so?" there was a long silence. A silence that created a beautiful feel of something exciting coming. "There's no lyrics yet...here is how it goes..."_

* * *

"Aww..." Misaki muttered soflty when he felt someone hitting him on the knee from under the table.

He darted his eyes to the person sitting across him. The confused boy could only grimace at the forced smile Riki-san was throwing at him.

"Takahashi Misaki, right?"

Misaki felt as if icy water had been poured over him. Hearing his complete name roll out from Usami Akihiko's tongue was...chilly. But he liked it.

"Eh? Ye-yes?" Stuttering Misaki forced himselft to look at the composer's direction, catching a little glimpse of Io's distasteful smirk.

The man's eyes was serious. The lavender hues seemed to be more strong this time as he looked at the nervous young man before him. Slowly placing both his elbows on the table, with his chin resting on his long-fingered hands, Usami Akihiko eyed Misaki rather annoyed.

"I thought since I heard from Riki-san you wanted to join the meeting, you'd be interested as well to join in the discussion. You even mentioned you were my fan on Io's show, remember? But you seem to be just joking and your mind is very far away from here."

"Ha?!" Misaki looked around for any hint of what was going on, but no one came to the rescue.

Bowing his head, his hair again making him the unkept young man that he appeared the first time they met, Misaki apologized.

"Never mind, I was just asking what an outsider would think about the song."

It hurt. That word. Outsider. Misaki felt he'd been stabbed. Lips trembling, fingers sweating not from the nervousness he was feeling before but for a new whole different reason, Misaki slowly reached the piece of paper laid in front of him. He looked again at the great composer who was boredly waiting for a reply from him before reading the notes on those five lines, together with the lyrics below it.

And to everyone's surprise, much to Usami Akihiko's surprise, Misaki who had lost all the color in his living body, started crying.

* * *

"What the shit did you cry about?" The tyrant manager hissed as he manuevered the wheel going back to Zone Building. It was already 5 in the afternoon, but summer was at its peek that despite having the air conditioner at the highest, everyone seemed to feel hot. Or maybe it was just the heat radiating from the irrititated driver of the huge, black van they were on.

Misaki, who was at the very back of the van, at the back where props, crumpled clothes and empty sake bottles were, at the back which was for dump, the young man just stared outside the tinted windows, gritting his teeth.

Slender fingers pressed again and again at the air conditioner button as if it could go up any higher. "Ah-leave him alone Riki-san. He just embarrassed himself yet again," was Io's comment while fanning himself with a folding paper fan.

The other passengers were silent the whole ride. They were already used to how Misaki was being treated by the two people at the front seat. They were so used to it that what little remorse they had for the poor young man before went numb. As if they already just went with the flow. But for the person who gets the treatment day after day as if he was no more than an eyesore, he could never get used to it.

Misaki focused his eyes into the buildings and happy people their van passed by. The music sheet that got wet from his hands and tears folded inside his pocket. Even when his eyes were closed, he could still read the music notes printed on that sheet. The notes that gave life to the original tune his lost friend sang to him before they completely went to their own lives.

What a grave coincidence. What stupid play that the composer he was looking up to was the same person as his "one-day" friend ten years ago.

Misaki chuckled. Gathering the attention of the people in the van.

"Oi...are you alright? Laughing alone have you gone crazy?" Io asked looking at Misaki through the rear view mirror with a disgusted look on his flawless face.

_"He had certainly made his dream come true,"_ Misaki mumbled, resting his forehead against the cold glass of the window. "_...while I still am a no-name...I'm so ashamed.._." Feeling the crumpled paper inside his jeans pocket, Misaki smiled bitterly.

_"The river in you certainly flows endlessly...while mine has long gone dry."_  
-

Messy clothes piled one after another was the picture of Io's dressing room. And as the beautiful, young man lay lazily on his plush, red swivel chair watching Misaki fix his clothes, he removed the ear phones from his pierced ears and called Misaki.

Busy with tyding the overpacked cabinet, Misaki's reply was only a short "hmmm?" without lifting his gaze to Io. The current-best-sought artist of Zone claimed he was tired from the meeting with the great composer when all he did the entire day was just sit.

"What's the title of the song you are always humming?"

At the question, that was the time Misaki looked at Io with a surprised look. Io was never interested in the things he did, so it was a first.

"What the hell is that face?" Io blurted. "You always hum it that it also started to get stuck in my head. It doesn't sound bad so I want to download it to my iPod."

"River flows in you," Misaki answered looking at Io but seeing someone else. "It's a favorite of mine and..."

"And?"

Misaki went back to fixing the messy cabinet, ignoring Io's ranting. "And Usami Akihiko..."  
-

The next day was the start of Misaki's voice rehearsals for the new song coming from the great composer. To be honest, the tune was still clear in his mind from ten years ago, but he didn't know how to interpret the lyrics accompanying it. And so he was always being yelled at, cursed at and glared at by none other than Riki-san.

It was the padded walls of the recording room that can see how mean Riki was to Misaki when the young man couldn't place the proper emotions in it.

"Dang brat! How many times do you have to repeat this line? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Riki-san was frustrated. Misaki usually only takes 2 song rehearsals then the real recording in one go. That was how fast Misaki was when it comes to singing new pieces and he didn't have to yell at Misaki this much. But they were already at it for so many times he felt he could strangle Misaki anytime.

"Sorry..." a soft voice replied, Misaki's teary eyes looking at the blurry music sheet on the music stand.

The chubby man waived a roll of paper in front of Misaki's face cursing. "Takahashi Misaki, this song is from your FAVORITE composer! Shouldn't you be more into this? You are singing his song for crying out loud!"

Arisaka-san, the stylist who dropped by the recording studio of Zone to see how Misaki was doing rolled his eyes. "That fat boar...who would want to deceive their FAVORITE composer?!" the man screamed inside his head.

Riki-san signalled the sounds technician to play again the music. "You, again!"

Misaki's heart was hurting. He wanted to sing the song that much. It was his dream, and it was coming true. Sing his favorite composer's master piece...and friend or ex-friend? But the lyrics were something he couldn't understand. Well, he understood but it was saying something he thought he hadn't experienced yet. How could he interpret the song and touch the listeners when he himself couldn't convince himself that he knew what the music was implying?

"..."

"AH ENOUGH!" the huge man roared. "EVERYONE TAKE A FUCKING ONE HOUR BREAK! HOPEFULLY THE BRAT WOULD BE BACK TO HIS SENSES AND STOP WASTING EVERYONE'S FUCKING TIME!" Everyone on the other side of the recording studio grew silent as they watched the heated man storm out of the recording room, slamming the sliding doors shut.

Misaki helplessly looked at the people looking at him with pity, especially at Arisaka who was looking completely mad as hell.

Twenty minutes have already passed since the brunette started pacing the lonely corridors in front of Io's dressing room. He kept on thinking about the lyrics. Maybe the lyrics was too mature for an inexperienced guy like him? But no...more than that...

"Takahashi-kun!"

Misaki looked at the high-pitched voice and realized it was Suzuha running towards him. She appeared to be about to stumble with her 3-inch high-heeled shoes.

"Suzuha-san...?"

Catching up on her breath, the woman first calmed herself before continuing. "Usami Akihiko is inside one of our waiting rooms. He's asking for Io, but Io's currently having his hair dyed for the next photoshoot. Could you perhaps bring him some tea? I don't know I can't find anyone! I have no one to ask and I am busy myself with another TV station for booking..."

"But...I am..."

The woman flashed a begging puppy-like look that made Misaki wanted to burst out laughing. He meant no harm but Suzuha-san always had a serious appearance that doing that seemed so out of character.

Sighing, Misaki nodded.

* * *

Awkward. That was the only word how Misaki could describe the current situation. He could feel those lavender eyes about to burn a hole into his head as he poured some tea into the small teacups. The four corners of the homey waiting room felt like closing in on him.

The moment Misaki finished serving the tea, he stood like a good waiter of a restaurant waiting for another request without looking at the man himself.

"Takahashi-kun, may I ask you something?"

"I-if you're willing to wait, Io's about to be done any minute...Sir."

The silver haired man crossed his long legs and narrowed his eyes. "Why did you cry that time? Was I too harsh?"

The young man felt overjoyed so suddenly that Usami Akihiko had the time to be even thinking how he felt. And so, gathering a little courage, he slowly looked the man in the eyes.

"I just remembered something...sorry."

Usami Akihiko suddenly stood from where he was sitting and took slow strides towards Misaki. The image of the tall man approaching made Misaki so nervous if not for manners, he would have ran out of the room screaming.

"I should apologize too I guess. I was being a jerk, wasn't I?"

"No-no!" Misaki blurted stuttering like a kid. "You don't have to!"

Speechless, Misaki could only inhale the manly yet sweet scent of the man before him. Usami Akihiko leaned a little lower, making the two of them in eye level with each other.

"You were great during Io's performance. You'll go far, that I can assure you."

"Thank you," Misaki replied in a soft voice he wondered if the great composer even heard him.

Standing back straight, the man moved away a little smiling at Misaki like it was the most natural thing to do in the world. "Strangely, you remind me of someone I met before. He was such a talented child."

Throbbing. Pounding. Trembling. Everything inside Misaki started to feel like he was about to burst. "He still remembers me!"

"If I hadn't met that young man, I could propably mistake you for him..."

Huh? Misaki stared long at the man before him. Wondering if telling him he was the kid with him at the back of that small, old shrine would be fine. "Usami-san...I..."

The doors flew open with a bang, revealing a lively, smiling Io. His hair completely complimented his huge, green eyes. His once black locks now a color of light brown.

"I didn't know you'd be here this early Akihiko-san!" Io exclaimed, walking directly towards the tall man with no formalities between them anymore.

Once again, Misaki saw those caring, lavender eyes smile at Io. How can such an act hurt him. What was going on in him?

"I promised you didn't I? I know you're busy with the song rehearsals but a fresh air could help you relax your lungs for better breathing..."

Slowly, like a camera panning closer, Misaki felt like he was already left out the instant Io jumped into the picture. He was no more there. He instantly disappeared before Usami Akihiko's eyes.

* * *

The two walked past him. Usami didn't even glance back at Misaki at all. His eyes were all on Io. What was more disturbing for Misaki was Io's arm wrapped around the older man's.

_"How...how could they do that?"_ Misaki asked himself, his insides a turmoil of mixed emotions.

"Akihiko-san...could you sing for me that "River Flows In You" one more time?"

Misaki thought he had gone deaf...or maybe his ears were playing tricks on him. But he heard Io clearly. He was asking Usami Akihiko the same song the man hummed for him ten years ago.

"Why so suddenly?"

Misaki watched their backs grow smaller as they became farther from him.

"It's my favorite..."

"Ah-right...fine. But only a little in exchange for humming me that song when I was being delirious."  
-

Unconsciously, Misaki started taking steps forward, as if he was about to run towards the two and pull Usami Akihiko away from Io's grasp.

"No...Io...he's..." the still confused young man looked at the now empty hallway except for him after the two turned to get inside the elevator. "...he's lying..."

Misaki didn't know if he should be happy or not that somehow, he finally understood the song. The dream of reaching your cherished one but can't. The dream of taking that person's hand but being pulled back by chains called circumstances.

Yes, circumstances he wouldn't be able to break. His brother's condition, Zone, Io, him. A conspiracy that boils down to him being a liar himself.

Yes...Misaki knew now how to interpret the song. Too bad such a painful realization first had to befall him before finally realizing he was gay and that he was in love with the great composer, his childhood accidental friend, Usami Akihiko.

And feeling the loser that he was more than ever, Misaki sang the song to himself. The song his love composed. The song that surprisingly carried the things he wanted to tell the great composer.

Lying about how I feel,  
I just can't handle, I just can't deal.  
Hidden secrets, thoughts gone bad,  
I think back on all the times we had.  
Saying goodbye isn't easy to do,  
When I think of all we've been through.  
I know if I said something, we could work it out.  
But in the back of mind, I wil always have this doubt.  
I will always be here, I will never be gone.  
For in your heart I will always live on.  
I wish I could tell you the reasons why,  
But inside I don't know and that's what making me die.  
With a broken heart and a broken soul,  
I've sunk to the lowest part of this hole.  
Tired of searching, ready to give up this fight.  
The light in my eyes is no longer bright.  
The time has come, my fate is sealed  
What will come next will soon be revealed...

* * *

YEY! ANOTHER UPDATE! WHEW...kinda long ne? I hope you liked the lyrics though! ^^ thank you for reading, reviews are GREATLY appreciated!^^  
-shuusetsu

the lyrics is actually a poem written by a friend. I was nagging him to create a poem for a reason i already forgot...HAhahaha


	5. Little Witness

i am so always grateful to everyone's support and warm comments! it really inspires me to write more. if i could only finish this in a day! ahaha^^ enough of my nonsense...ヽ(＾▽＾)人(＾▽＾)人(＾▽＾)ﾉ

* * *

**Little Witness**

* * *

He had closed his eyes in contentment. Slow at first, the piano strokes flowing fluidly, filling Usami Akihiko's private haven. It wasn't just his ears focused on the melody but his entire being as well. He had sat on his favorite seat with his long legs crossed and feet resting on his reddish Mahogany table, shining againts the light of the sun. The one entire portion of the wall completely made of glass, allowing the composer to savor the entirety of Tokyo; the busy life, the economic activity and all of the daily happenings in the bustling city. Busy as it was, in his penthouse, he was his own king, in his own world of music. And there was nothing better than that moment as he listened to the CD sent to him by Zone Management. Io's first music trial for the music he composed. The one playing on Usami's player already on loop.

He couldn't get enough of it. Each time he listens to the song, it was as if he wasn't the one who composed it. In Usami Akihiko's mind, Io had claimed the music as his. He wrote the song, the lyrics and the melody, but he didn't know, didn't expect that it could sound as painful as that. It was beautiful and painful. And he couldn't stop listening. For some reason, the song he made, the voice filling his insides was making him guilty. Why?

"Usami-sama...?" a low voice called out coming from outside the spacious room.

Slowly, the great composer opened his lavender eyes and waited till the door opened. He had been expecting them to come. Been waiting for his consultants regarding the song Io sang, still untitled.

The heels of a tall woman in black, sexy lady suit clicked against the wooden floors. Not far from her was a man in his thirties with blonde hair and just dressed casually. The two of them wore smiling faces. They were called urgently. Meaning Usami Akihiko was having a hard time in deciding with the music. If he would not consult his music consultants, he would have OKed the song instantly. First trial and it will be aired right away. And it has never happened before. The two people expert in their fields would throw their judgement at Io's rendition, interpretation, find something to improve and such.

"Yo there Usami...is this kid that good that you are actually thinking of OKying the FIRST trial already?" the blonde named Hiroda chirped, as he helped himself on some untouched cookies on the composer's table.

Shaking her head at her boyfriend's lack of manners, Agawa Midori sat on her usual spot; the corner of the long, black, silk sofa across the endless room.

"So...Usami-san, are you patronizing this kid?"

With a cool face, the man lifted his feet off the table, stood and went to the huge window, his back at his two guests.

"Patronizing?" he gave off a small laugh. "Maybe...that's why I called you two. In my ears, it's already perfect. I couldn't see anything wrong. The singer, Io I mean was even able to put something in it I didn't even expect."

Hiroda raised a brow. "Yeah, you're really patronizing the kid, man. What are you telling us a music prodigy was born? Someone who could please _YOU_ at first trial? Impossible...hard to believe."

The woman just looked at his boy friend still disgusted at the man's puffing face from stuffing his mouth full. But she agrees to what the man was saying. Usami Akihiko was also notorious for being strict with the singers he chose to sing his songs. The interpretation, the pauses, even the breathing. It even reached the point that even the acclaimed singers became afraid of singing in front of the man.

"Well, I am getting excited with this myself. After staying in China for six months, this is the first job from you. We don't know much about this Io kid aside from the news that he's "Japan's Honey" something like that. Who even came up with that funny name? Kids nowadays..." Hiroda muttered, settling himself on the sofa across his girlfriend.

Agawa pulled her notepad out of her snake's skin bag, readying herself to note whatever their opinions will be. "Why don't we listen now to the song so we can study the findings?"

Usami turned to look at the woman, then fished the central remote for his surround sound system. "With pleasure..." he said first, as if he was presenting his greatest master piece of all time.

* * *

Five minutes. And the couple just stared at each other's eyes. The cookies left alone, the notepad still clean, the time on temporary halt.

'Oh my god..." The serious looking woman whispered, about to cry. "He's just 18 right? Why...such heavy emotion? God...he's like being torn into pieces while singing this it hurts. Beautiful but painful."

The blonde glanced at his girlfriend first then slumped on the sofa. He was on the edge of his seat the entire time the song was playing. He could only exhale.

"Whew...I am...speechless...I eat back everything that I said," was Hidori's comment.

The composer's lips formed a smile of a victor and sat back on his chair. "Well? Do I have to ask for the verdict? Coz the answer is already written on your foreheads."

The consultants couldn't find anything else to improve in the song. But the more detailed woman frowned a little. An act Usami Akihiko didn't fail to notice.

"Agawa...you're frowning. Got more in your mind?"

Crossing her legs, she licked her lips first as if concentrating then finally darted her gray eyes towards the curious composer.

"I totally am with you in approving the first trial since it's already flawless. I couldn't ask for anything more. But...would it be possible for us to hear the kid sing in person. I'd love to meet this young man..."

Usami's left brow twitched a little. He propped his head on his hand and sighed. "The kid have some traumatic experience. But I think he's already comfortable with me...yeah...I'll set it up then."

Besides, Usami had been wanting to listen to Io personally. He had so many things he wanted to teach him. So many things he wanted to share...knowledge in music, in the industry...and perhaps make him remember him after their ten years of gap. Reach out to something deeper than friendship and mentoring.

Soon very soon.

* * *

Wiping the sweat on his forehead, Misaki continued walking down the few yards left to his brother's hospital. Wondering if he should get a doctor for himself. He certainly didn't want to trudge the road with no return. He never liked men before. But perhaps, perhaps he wasn't just interested in girls either. For all the problems he had been carrying on his frail shoulders, who would still have the time to worry and think about stupid love life?

But life was just too cruel. He did in fact fell in the worst possible way, to the most impossible person. The person was a genius, popular, rich. Usami Akihiko was everything Misaki was not. The green-eyed young man couldn't help but think of himself lowly; poor, ugly, liar, sinful. If not for his older brother he had to look after, he would already have comitted suicide.

When the tired boy looked up at the scorching sky, feeling his thin shirt sticking into his thin body, he forced his numb lips to smile. His brother may not be able to see how miserable his face was, but a miserable face makes his voice sound equally bad. So he would just plaster a happy front for now, and nurse his chaotic emotions later.

The moment he entered his brother's room, Takahiro moved his unseeing eyes to Misaki's direction. The clock on his table said one in the afternoon. The only picture of their grandparents and parents gleaming despite the old state. The window was also open. Takahiro loved it when the breeze enters the room. He at least could pretend he was outside and feel how good it was to feel the breeze on his cheeks in the summer.

"Misaki?"

Already used to seeing his brother on bed, blind and couldn't walk, Misaki swallowed the lump that always formed in his throat whenever he sees his big brother's condition. A condition that was the product of his stupidity.

"Hello, Nii-chan! I have some dangos, want some?" he asked moving forward to the white bed and pulling the chair near the sitting Takahiro.

"Thank you. By the way...Misaki..." the man frowned and suddenly his huge hand gently landed on Misaki's soft, chocolate hair. Misaki could only stare in shock.

"Nii...?"

"Must be very hard for you..."

Misaki's confused look just went deeper as his hands paused from rummaging his plastic bag for the food.

"For you to forget the death anniversary of our grandparents...something great must have been occupying your mind. I know you."

The young man's eyes widened, his mouth slowly parting into a silent gasp. And as if all the energy in his body had been sapped in just a snap, Misaki's tears started silently sliding down his smooth cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry..." he choked.

_How could I...?_

"You don't have to apologize. Misaki I didn't remind you to make you guilty for forgetting, I reminded you so we can pray for them together..."

Misaki threw his hands on his face and bit down hard on his lips just so he could stop the sobbing. But the pain in his chest was too heavy he felt like someone was trying to squeeze every living breath out of him.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry" he repeated.

The older brother closed his eyes. Just letting his brother pour out whatever in his heart was.

_I'm sorry for forgetting Baa-chan...Ji-san...I'm sorry Pa, Ma, I'm sorry your son fell in love with a man... Nii-chan...I'm so sorry for making you like this... Usami-sama...I don't want to lie...I don't want to lie..._

* * *

"So the reason you're so down right now, is because Zone had already sent the recording of you singing that composer's latest song?"

Misaki nodded. "Hmmm..." It was the truth. Well, part of the huge truth why he was so sad. He was sad that the product of a huge lie was now in the great composer's hands. He was feeling bad because in the man's mind, it was Io and not him. Frustrated that Io seemed to be liking the man as well, and Usami liking the artist he was working for in return. Still surprised at himself for turning out to be gay. And mad at himself knowing that unless Usami Akihiko finds out sooner, he would continue lying at the man's face...

"Everything will turn out fine...you're always positive Misaki...it saddens me to feel you so low. Cheer up."

_Yeah...everything will turn out fine. After a very huge storm first.._.Misaki thought to himself. Unaware that the huge storm in his life was just around the corner.

"Ahahaha...sorry to worry you Nii-chan...I am fine now after crying earlier."

Takahiro squinted his eyes. He couldn't see anything aside from some blurry light. He could only make out Misaki's small frame before him. A sad frame he wanted to protect the most but the opposite was happening. It was Misaki sacrificing his youth for him. He was mad at Misaki before for causing him his blinded and crippled situation. But despite the hatred, Misaki was the only family he had left and soon learned forgiveness and acceptance that such things could happen to everyone. It just so happened that it was him.

Misaki was just a young boy that time, he didn't know what he was doing...

"Nii-chan, I'll ask Riki-san if I can take a short leave so I can visit their grave in Okinawa."

"You don't have to force yourself. I am sure Riki-san would probably not give you a day off, especially that they have the great composer following Io..."

The young man grimaced but ignored that piercing feeling inside him. Instead he stood and excused himself that he would just get some tea on the vending machine in the main lobby of the hospital.

* * *

He was searching his pocket for some change when he noticed the familiar bouncy little girl coming towards him. He went to his knees and ruffled the girl's curly blonde hair while smiling.

"Mika-chan, you shouldn't be running inside the hospital," he mildly scolded.

The little girl's blushing cheeks was so cute and she smiled a toothless grin at him and tugged on his shirt. "Misa-nii, the kids already miss you. It;s been a while since you played with us..."

A little guilty, Misaki thought for a moment. Then decided he'd come play with the kids for a while. Besides, he needed to think of something else. His brother wouldn't mind him gone for a couple of minutes anyway. And so, he took the little girl's hand and together they walked towards the ward of the children with nervous system disabilities.

When they went inside the play ward of the Neurology Children's section, kids from ages 6 to 9, some who were on wheelchairs started gathering around Misaki, so eager to see him again.

"It's been a while monsters! Have you been good kids?"

"Yes!" the little monsters chirped in unison, the blonde girl who approached him leading them on.

A nurse wearing a white coat with prints of different cute animals approached Misaki. "Wow, Takahashi-kun, it's been a while."

"Hello, Kumiko-san! Yeah...was busy the past days..."

The nurse suddenly lifted a hand in apology. "My my Takahashi-kun...I'm soryr but could you watch these little monsters for a minute? I really have to go to the comfort room but my partner hasn't arrived yet. I swear he'll get a beating!"

"Wa...sensei needs to poo!" a couple of the kids sang.

"Who says I need to poo! You punk!" the woman laughed then looked at Misaki once more. "Please?"

"Sure...not a problem."

"You're a life saver!"

The kids looked at each other when the lady nurse finally left their ward and started trying to get the young man's attention.

"Nii-chan! Nii-chan! Play for us! Hurry!"

"Mou~how many times have I told you when you ask people to do something for you...what do you say at the end?"

The kids smiled and screamed "pleeaaaaaaasssssseeee" at the top of their lungs.

Misaki felt so much lighter surrounded by kids who haven't realized yet how cruel the world was. And through their sparkling eyes, Misaki was the best big brother there could ever be. And for Misaki, they were his most loyal fans. Ones who enjoy his talent with him being as the real him. Just Takahashi Misaki.

"Okay..." he sighed, pretending that he was just feeling obliged. He walked towards the keyboard for therapy set on the farthest side of the ward and placed it in the center. He eyed the little kids first. He couldn't help but think at how lovely they were. Only that they can;t move their muscles voluntarily, mainly in the hands. That's why the kids always requested for him to play a song on it, because no matter how much they wanted to learn to play even the simplest pieces, their nerves wouldn't allow them. Their little fingers won't obey them.

"What should I play then? Requests anyone?"

"Play anything you want Nii-chan!" the kids insisted.

Thinking, Misaki placed his fingers on the keys and chewed the insides of his cheeks while pondering.

"Aww okay...I've been wanting to play this song to you guys..." Misaki closed his eyes and started gently pressing on the keys. The children sat on the padded floor all ears at Misaki.

'When we grow apart, it's destiny,  
It's just how it was supposed to be...  
but I know I'm not strong enough  
To accept that easily..."*1

* * *

"Really? Really? Really?" the man's voice was excited while almost running in the hallway of the hospital to get her daughter.

"Tsk...don't talk like that you're not a kid anymore," the cold voice answered.

"Aww...God...thank you...I really didn't know what to do. Thanks...we'll drop by later."

The tall, well-built man slowly peeked at the Children's ward and scanned the kids on the floor drawing. To his surprise his only princess was piggy back riding a certain young man he just saw for the first time. He knocked thrice and called his girl.

"Sora-chan...Daddy's here to come pick you up!"

"Papa!" the blonde girl squealed, left Misaki and started flying to her father with arms wide open.

The man swept the girl off her feet and hugged her. "Pretty girl, why are you piggy back riding someone other than me? I am so broken hearted."

The little girl smacked her father on the head jokingly and turned at Misaki who was starting to leave. "Misa-nii is special...I am marrying him."

Both Misaki and the father stared at each other before laughing out loud.

* * *

"Yeah, I've already picked her up and we're on our way to a friend's house. Honestly Misao, don't leave our daughter in the children's ward the whole day it's not a nursery. Sora might get sick."

_"You're being over...besides Sora loves playing in there,"_ the voice of the woman on speaker replied somewhat in a hurry. _"Talk to you later, the conference is about to start. Tell Sora I love her okay? Bye_."

Frowning while staring at the road, Hidori-san threw a glance at his daughter watching the road ahead of them on the passenger seat.

He had a wife before but they divorced already. It just didn't work out. Him being a music consultant, being more into the artistic side of things, he always clashed with her pediatrician wife. And so at the end they realized it won't work out and they got divorced. Both of them have now new love interests. He was just lucky enough that his girl friend Agawa Midori, his co-music consultant loves his daughter despite her being his daughter in his first wife.

"Papa...where're we going?"

"Oh Sora, we'll go to my friend's palace and you'll stay there for tonight."

"Eh~why?"

"Because...I have to go somewhere else tonight and I don't want to leave you alone in my house. Your mama is in a conference so no one will look after you."

Pouting, the girl sighed. "I am not a baby anymore. I'm a lady. I can take care of my self."

The father chuckled a little. "Aw...baby don't be mad. Besides, guess who will be you prince for tonight?"

"Who?"

"Usami Akihiko. You're godfather."

The girl's face beamed instantly. She would have jumped up and down if not for the seat belt securing her in place.

"Really?! Really?! Really?!"

"Really. Really. Really."

After Hidori-san dropping her daughter at Usami's place, he hurriedly went to his appointment, leaving the composer and the bubbly, little girl alone. Having her around while he leisurely listened to his compositions felt good. The girl had some music inclination that makes her a good company.

Inside the music room, Sora-chan was lying on her back on the carpeted floor, humming Canon by Pachelbel that Usami had been playing on his sound systems. She was beginning to get sleepy so she went to the composer's table trying to get on Usami's lap.

"What is it Sora-chan? Getting sleepy?"

"Aki-chan...play something else please..." she begged after successfully invading Usami Akihiko's privacy.

The man looked at the girl for a while. He was never good with little children but he loved Sora. He can't believe she's the daughter of his happy go lucky friend and consultant Hidori.

"Okay..." Usami pressed some buttons on his central remote. "Okay...what about this?"

Sora rested her head against Usami's chest and closed her eyes, ready to sleep any time at the slow piano keys filling her ears. Then she shot up, surprising her godfather.

"Misa-nii...!"

Patting the girl on the head, Usami Akihiko shifted on his seat as the girl started wriggling off his lap. "Misa-nii?" He repeated.

Fully awake once again, the girl ran to the nearest speaker she could see and rested her ear against it. "Aki-chan...why do you have Misa-nii's voice? Does he also sing for you?"

The silver-haired man, who still didn't know what was going on decreased the volume of the speakers. "This is a song I composed and being sang by the artist named Io. Do you know him? He's popular right now."

The girl frowned and then dashed back towards her godfather and increased the volumes herself. "Who's Io? I don't know him. All I know is that this is _definitely_ Misa-nii's voice!" She said indignantly.

"Sora-chan...you could just be mistaken. Some people do sound similar though." the compser tried to reason out.

Eyes wide as if she was the most sure person on planet Earth, Sora raised her right hand as if in an oath. "Aki-chan...how can I ever be mistaken...Misa-nii had been singing to the kids in the children's ward since last year...this is definitely him!"

Not wanting to make the little girl cry and go into a tantrum, since he didn't know how to handle that, Usami smiled and calmly stopped the players. "Sora-chan...go to sleep now okay it's getting late. Come..."

"Eh! Yada!" The girl protested. "Who's this Io copying my Misa-nii!?"

* * *

Chapter end notes:

Hello! Thanks for reading this chapter. I am sorry if things are progressing rather slowly. I really want to take it slow so...but well in this chapter at least I already got to introduce the little thread that will connect Misaki's real situation to our composer! Ahahah... EYEY! PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! HAH

ヽ(＾▽＾)人(＾▽＾)人(＾▽＾)ﾉ

i also have a little favor to ask...just view this video please...it's the song Misaki was playing. BUT IT IS ME DOING THE SINGING. PFFT...BOTH JAPANESE AND ENGLISH VERSIONS LINKS ARE THERE.^^

ENJOY MY OTHER PASSION! HAHAHA

**just copy paste this on the search bar:**

**【****Calc. Piano】春****mao -sorry for my English accent.^^**

**【****Calc.】ピアノ バージョン【春****mao】 ****-Japanese version ^^**


	6. The Wine as Gate

_**Dear awesome readers...you inspire me to write more. Grah...I hope I have made your faces scowl and you'd do head bangs with this chapter..LoL! Kidding! Everyone and Guests..hontou ni arigatou...**_

_**ヽ**__**(＾▽＾**__**)人**__**(＾▽＾**__**)人**__**(＾▽＾**__**)ﾉ**_

* * *

**The Wine as Gate**

The reflection on the mirror was perfect. Every strand of his brownish hair in place, his skin without a single blemish glowed healthily, and when he sniffed his sleeveless green shirt that was making him appear paler than he already was, he smelled a scent that was intoxicating. And then he smiled. But his smile wasn't the usual confident one. Io noticed that his eyes showed a glint of worry.

"Lying about how I feel..." he started singing. He'd been listening to Misaki's CD since last night and he got the tune in his mind already. "I just...I just..." he continued. However he stopped, not wanting to embarrass himself any longer.

He stood in front of his mirror attached on the wall where his table was. The sides of the mirror being occupied by little photos when he was just starting and some letters from fans. Full of skin and hair products, the table was a picture of a mess. He sighed and his cool face turned into a bitter one as his eyes rested on the CD case where Misaki's voice was recorded.

"Why...I am a singer...why can't I sing?" he whispered. He pondered as he replayed in his head how he couldn't even hit the right notes.

His slender fingers slowly reached for the CD case. Shaking, his grip tightened. "I can understand music. I can read notes. I can fucking tell if someone has mistakes in their pitches..." with a force from his burning frustration, he threw the CD case against the wall, breaking it into pieces. "WHY CAN'T I SING IT OUT ON MY OWN!"

Gasping, his eyes reddening, Io looked at his open laptop on his messy bed and gazed into the silver-haired man's smiling face and him standing side by side. He remembered that was during his performance where the composer troubled himself to come just to see him in person.

Io's lips quivered. He was in love with Usami Akihiko. And he knew how delicate the thread he has to maintain to keep the composer for himself.

Unlike Takahashi Misaki, Io knew since long ago how different his sexual preference was. He had many flings but never did he expect to actually fall to someone ten years his senior. And if things weren't that bad already, he was even lying to the man. And he was scared to death that the moment the truth comes out, where will he be? The composer was showing deep interest in him. He knew the way how the composer looked at him. But if the truth comes out, will his feelings outweigh all the grave lies he had been telling?

"I envy you... Misaki..." Io hissed the name like it was the most disgusting thing in the world. "Why does Akihiko-san have to be so into your voice? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO NOTICE ME BECAUSE OF YOU!?"

* * *

It took Io a couple of minutes to calm himself. As the days passed by, the tension kept on growing inside him though he never showed it to anyone. It was his belief never to show weakness in anyway. And so, tapping his cheeks lightly, he again regained his composure.

His green gems darted to the digital clock on his bedside table. It said 4 pm. The day before, he received a call from Usami Akihiko asking if he could meet with him at 6. Of course the young man, excitedly accepted. In his mind, it was as if a date. So he again tried his best to look as fresh like he just went out the shower.

He paced his flat, back and forth, circled around while biting the nail on his thumb. He was so nervous. They would meet at Teito Hotel. In a freaking five star hotel! Just the two of them.

"Maybe I should just confess tonight..." he muttered. "If he accepts me, whatever the thing that might happen, I have something to hold on to...right?"

_God..._

Riiiiinggggg!

Io almost jumped out of his skin at the sudden loudness that broke his thoughts. He hurriedly went to his wireless phone at the corner of his living room and picked up the receiver.

"Hai?"

"Io-kun...how are you?"

His eyes shot wide, his nervousness hitting at its peak. "U-Akihiko-san?! Why, did you call to cancel our meeting?" Io asked, unable to hide the broken voice through the phone.

"What are you saying? I was the one who invited you. Why would I cancel it?"

Sighing out of relief, Io laughed softly. "I'm sorry, I was just...just really looking forward to this."

There was a long silence. It made the young man wonder if he turned off the composer.

"Akihiko-san?"

"Me too. I am looking forward to this night. I just called to make sure you didn't forget."

"Eh..." Io whined playfully. "How can I forget? Anyway...Akihiko-san...is it okay if I bring the wine?"

"Wine? But Teito Hotel have excellent ones..."

"Ah well you see, this wine," Io looked at the leather bag encasing a bottle of an old wine on his sofa. "The wine was given to me by a friend. He said it brings luck."

"Alright then, the wine is on you...I have to go now."

"Yes. Thank you Akihiko-san."

Io was about to put the phone down, but he heard the composer call out to him once more. Confused, the young man listened once again to whatever Usami Akihiko would say.

"Take care on your way."

Frozen, Io wasn't able to respond until the phone gave a call end tone.

Cheeks blushing, Io inhaled deeply and started gathering the leather bag containing the wine and his wallet.

He already decided. He'd confess that night.

* * *

Misaki had been running around the entire Zone Management building in search for Io. During lunch time, the asset of Zone disappeared without so much as a notice and everyone was worried. Riki-san was mad though. And he poured his anger over Misaki who was together with Io the entire time before lunch.

"Find Io right this moment TAKAHASHI! How many times do I have to tell you always keep an eye to Io!?" Misaki remembered as he was running towards the building's exit.

If he couldn't find the guy same age as him inside the building, then he might be out somewhere. It was five in the afternoon, about rush hour and Misaki was tired. He was tired from the very start of the day to have to carry Io's stuff from and to different sets. He even had to serve teas and refreshments to that day's clients and he almost spent the next half of the day searching for Io. Misaki already knew that what he was doing was not included in the contract. But he had to maintain peace and always please Riki-san all the time. So even though Misaki was tired as an old man about to crawl to his grave, Misaki never onced complained.

He stood in the middle of the flood of men and women in their business attires. Everyone was going in all directions with the tall buildings closing in on him. It was making Misaki's head ache. Despite that, he continued searching for the guy. He didn't even know where to look for him but he kept on looking anyway.

Almost at his limit, the tired Misaki walked towards a closed establishment and rested his back against its walls. While resting, his eyes still scanned the sea of people. He already tried calling Io hundred of times but he wouldn't answer. Even in Io's flat no one was answering.

Closing his heavy eyes, Misaki slowly unzipped his thin jacket and took it off. It was so hot he felt about to collapse. He even wanted to remove his green shirt completely soaked in sweat. But he couldn't do that unless he wanted to create a public scene. So he just swallowed huge amount of air allowing himself to at least recover from all the running and licked his dry lips.

_"Where could he be? He actually disappeareed without telling Riki-san..."_ Misaki thought to himself.

The traffic lights near Misaki flashed red, making private cars and taxis go into a halt. And as if Misaki saw a ghost, his mouth opened about to shout something as he looked at Io's profile sitting inside the taxi that stopped before him.

"I-Io...?" Misaki blurted.

Misaki's feet moved on its own and approached the taxi, but before he could even reach it, the taxi once again sped up.

"Io!" He shouted, making the people in the streets turn their heads at him.

A wave of murmur filled Misaki's ears as he waited for an empty taxi. He just screamed out a name of a popular artist. What was he thinking? Within a matter of seconds, Misaki found himself already inside a cab, running after the vehicle where Io was.

"Sir...please follow that taxi...don't let it get away...okay?"

The driver looked at Misaki confused. "Running after your girlfriend?"

Exasperated, Misaki just shook his head and maintained his eyes at the taxi before them.

* * *

Misaki literally jumped out of the taxi after paying the driver. He didn't even wait for his change and instead just ran after Io.

_"Teito Hotel? What's his business here?"_ Misaki asked himself as he slowed down. He wasn't dressed properly for such a venue and running would totally make him suspicious.

Fortunately, the security personnel allowed him to enter despite him only wearing tattered jeans and sweaty green shirt plastered on his body after a degrading leer.

He looked around. He whirled around the lobby. He didn't even had the time to take notice the intricate interior design of the lobby. He didn't care about the glares he was getting from the customers of the hotel wondering what such an unkept young man doing in a place for the rich.

When he turned to look at his left side, Misaki saw Io about to ride the elevator.

_"Oh no...no way...it would be harder if I missed him in the lobby..."_

Almost sliding, flying towards the elevator a few meters away from him, Misaki at the exact moment slid into the elevator together with Io before its doors closed.

"What on bloody Earth are you doing here?" was Io's question as he looked at the kneeling in exaustion guy before him.

There was only the two of them inside the elevator so Io didn't have to maintain a sweet, humble front. He was surprised as hell to see his shadow found him there.

"You're really like a real shadow huh? I couldn't even get away from you?" he hissed while pressing number 39.

Misaki reached for the side handles and slowly stood. His knees were still shaking from the over exertion.

"Io...Riki-san is mad! Go back to Zone now with me," Misaki almost begged in between his panting.

"I am here to meet Usami Akihiko, tell him I'll be back tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Misaki repeated dumbfounded. What are they going to do that Io has to return the next day? Frowning at the direction his thoughts were wandering to, Misaki shook his head. "Io, that's not the issue here! Riki-san would explode if he realized you went to meet with Usami-sama without him knowing! What if the composer finds out?"

"I am not an idiot to do that. The reason I am here is a personal business so fuck off and go home with your sagging tail to Riki-san."

Misaki grabbed Io's arm. "Please...you're being too reckless..."

Disgusted at the skin contact, Io pulled his arm free and scowled. "Tsk...dirty..."

A "ding" sounded before the doors opened revealing a spacious, red carpeted hall way.

"I have to wash my arm now..." Io muttered in irritation as if Misaki's hand had fatal germs. He stomped out of the elevator and looked for the nearest rest room.

Meanwhile Misaki waited outside, now feeling hungry. He just remembered he didn't finish his lunch after hearing Riki-san screaming where Io was.

* * *

Misaki closed his eyes as he waited for Io to finish in the restroom. As always, Io takes so much time in there whenever he goes into one. Misaki sighed. He would never leave Io until he could force the guy to come back with him. Or else, the manager would chop his head off instead.

"Misa-nii?"

The exausted eyes of Misaki couldn't believe what he was seeing when he looked down at the sweet voice that called out to him. Tugging the hem of Misaki's shirt, Sora-chan stood like a little princess in a lacy white dress. Her huge blue eyes staring at him happily.

"So-Sora-chan?!" Misaki exclaimed, going on his knees to touch the pinkish cheeks of the girl. "Why are you here? Who's with you?" Misaki asked the girl worriedly as he turned his head left and right to look for the girl's companion.

"Sora-chan?" a woman's voice called out from afar. Then, from the comfort room of the ladies near the men's, a tall woman emerged wearing all black.

"Aww...Sora-chan don't disappear on me like that, you're Dad will kill me," the woman said then eyed Misaki. She slowly took hold of Sora's hand afraid that maybe Misaki was a kidnapper or something.

"Sora-chan...let's go," Agawa Midori said softly, pulling the little girl away.

The girl pulled away though and hugged Misaki rubbing her cheek against Misaki's.

"Oi...oi...Sora-chan I am all sweaty!"

The girl snuggled on Misaki's shoulders and inhaled. "Your sweat smells sweet, Misa-nii!"

Horror on her face, the woman approached Misaki and pulled the girl gently and carried her instead so she won't be able to get away anymore.

"Miri-chan, I'm gonna marry him soon." The girl chuckled. Miri-chan for Mi and ri in Midori.

"What are you saying, you little girl. I'm sorry..." the woman apologized.

Misaki stood and scratched the tip of his nose shyly. "No it's okay. Sora-chan is a sweet girl. We are some sort of playmates in the hospital."

At the mention of the hospital, Agawa's tension on her face disappeared. "Oh my god...I'm sorry...so you're Misaki?...or Misa-nii according to Sora-chan?"

"Yes..."

"Misa-nii, come eat with us! Miri-chan, Papa and Aki-chan are in that suite!" the girl said as she pointed her short index finger at the 2nd to that last room of the hallway. "You know, they're waiting for the one copying you!" the girl whined.

Agawa Midori looked at the girl then at Misaki. Wondering what the little girl was saying. She then looked at her wrist watch and smiled at Misaki. Surprisingly, the woman was so beautiful when she smiles. Misaki thought she should stop wearing a serious face and smile all the time instead.

"I am sure Akihiko-san wouldn't mind if we let in another guest. Come eat with us."

Goose bumps crawled all over Misaki's arms after he heard the name. "A-Akihiko-san?"

Cutting in, the girl gave a thumbs up to Misaki. "Yeah! Aki-chan may look scary...but he was listening to your voice the entire night Misa-nii!"

It made Misaki's heart flutter for a bit, but he got more problems to think of.

"Sora..." the woman now scolded.

About to fall on his knees at what was going on and what was about to happen, Misaki humbly rejected the offer and excused himself and ran inside the men's room.

* * *

Io was still fixing some of the strands of his hair when Misaki dashed to him, grabbing his hand.

"What the hell is your problem?! I thought you already went back!?"

Misaki's face was all worry. "Io...Akihiko-sama is not alone. He's with other people, and by the looks of it...you...me, might get discovered! Let's go back!"

"I am really getting irritated now at you, let go..."

Despite Io's finger nails scraping Misaki's skin, the latter didn't let go. "Io, we'll really get into trouble."

"Io-kun? And you?"

Eyes wide, the two turned to look at where the voice was coming from. Io stiffened, let go of Misaki's reddening arm and smiled weirdly. Misaki on the other hand just stared senseless at the lavender eyes looking at the two of them.

* * *

The air around the huge table was so heavy. No one talked the entire time everyone was eating. It felt so awkward. The huge and classy suite seemed to be so small for Misaki. It was suffocating and his drumming heart wasn't helping at all.

Misaki was sitting beside Io. Across them was the woman he saw earlier, a blonde guy he saw yesterday, Sora-chan waiving at him and at the center of the table was Usami Akihiko.

Praying that nothing won't go wrong, Misaki darted his eyes on his lap. Not only was he so out of place from the classy suite but a knawing sense of guilt was eating at his flesh.

"Io-kun, I am sorry I didn't inform you about this meeting," Usami started, his V-neck, black longs sleeves accentuating his hair even more. He looked so sorry that Io was looking so upset about the set-up of their "date".

The great actor that he was, Io flashed a sweet smile. "It's okay Akihiko-san. I was just surprised."

The couple stole glances at each other, surprised at the first name basis of the composer and the young artist.

Hidori, who was wearing a suit because his girlfriend beside him forced him to cleared his throat. "So...Uhm...what a small world, don't you think? I never thought we'd see each other so soon. And in this place even!"

Misaki nervously looked at Sora's father and smiled a little. "Yeah..." was his short reply. Misaki hoped from the depths of his heart that Sora-chan won't say anything about him singing anymore. Or him and Io will be dead.

Usami's eyes wandered from the dashing Io to the pale Misaki who seemed to throw up any minute. Then he looked at his friend. "Hidori, you know him?"

"Not much, but I met him yesterday when I picked up Sora from the hospital..."

Sora who was busy licking her fingers from the drippings of her chocolate icecream grinned at Usami Akihiko. "AKI-CHAN! That's right! Remember Misa-nii? The one singing in your speakers last night? It's him!" the girl chirped innocently.

Misaki and Io looked at each other for a moment.

"Aww...again? Sora...you may be confusing yourself with the guy beside your Misa-nii. It's Io singing..." Hidori cut in.

"Papa and Aki-chan are the same! YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME!" the girl exploaded, placing her dessert down the table, frowning and pouting at the same time.

"Ah...I have an idea, why don't you sing for us then Takahashi-kun and you Io-kun as well so Sora-chan won't be confused anymore," Hidori suggested sipping a little of water.

Hearing this, Io's calm face turned into stone. While Misaki just looked at the blonde man as if what he heard was something alien.

"Yeah Misa-nii! Show them what you;ve got so they won't think of Sora-chan as a liar anymore!"

The woman beside Sora patted the girl on the head. "Sora-chan dear, no one is saying you're a liar. But it's also bad to assume things..."

"Takahashi-kun," Usami began, his face devoid of any kindness he was throwing at Io earlier. "Sorry but could you just sing one line? Sora-chan might cry any minute...just for her sake."

Misaki was sweating again, from nervousness and from the head ache that was starting to pound inside his skull. His green eyes wandered from the composer to the couple to Sora. Lastly he looked at Io's meaningful glare and bit down his lower lip. He lifted his gaze at everyone, gathering his strenght to lie in front of the expecting faces. Lie even to Sora.

"I-I'm sorry...but I can't sing," Misaki lied _again_ flatly.

The little girl, feeling betrayed jumped off her chair and dashed outside the suite. Agawa following the little girl. It broke Misaki's heart to see his real fan ran away like that. She must have felt like everyone was trying to make her look bad.

Ashamed at the scene his only daughter was making, Hidori stood and bowed. "I'm sorry...my daughter could be a handful sometimes..."

"Io...Hidori and the woman that went after the little girl are my music consultants. They just wanted to hear you sing in person because they were approving the first trial already. Could you?Just a line will do..." Usami Akihiko asked Io with gentle eyes.

There was a long silence. Either Misaki, Io, Usami or Hidori uttered any word. Io, looked down on the floor, then lifted his gaze back to Usami's.

Used to being subjected to too much pressure from all the lying, Io maintained a cool face and looked at Usami straight in the eyes. "Akihiko-san...sure, I'll sing. But why don't we share first the wine I have with me?"

Misaki's head was spinning at what Io was trying to do. How could both of them get away from this massive and grave situation?

Io calmly grabbed the bottle of old wine a friend has given to him in the middle of the huge table and pulled the cork off. He planned on drinking a lot so he could get away from singing by pretending being drunk. Petty, but he couldn't think of anything else anymore.

Gracefully, Io went around the table pouring a little of the wine on each of the men's glass. He lingered a bit too long on Usami's side, trying to rub off his cologne or something. Misaki looked away the moment he saw Usami smile at Io. What was even the chance of him winning against Io? Zero.

Slowly, Misaki again peeked at the composer who had already raised the glass to his nose, savouring the scent of the wine. Io who was standing beside Usami raised his glass to toast with the silverhaired man. Misaki could ony gaze back to his lonely glass of wine. Sora must really be mad at him for she and Agawa-san hadn't come back yet.

Though Misaki's head was already aching so bad, he felt his body grow stiff when his tired eyes gazed at the wine glass in front of him. He squinted his eyes at the reddish content and his hand automatically grabbed the glass and he sniffed frantically. He felt his jaw drop on the floor as a silent scream left his dry mouth. Shaking, Misaki stood abruptly making his chair topple over that surprised the three men inside the suite.

"Takahashi-kun? What's the matter?" Hidori-san asked, about to sip his wine.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!"

"Huh?"

Like a mad dog, Misaki ran to the other side of the table, grabbed the glass from Hidori's hold and smashed the glass againts the marble floors. Not thinking anymore, Misaki then skidded towards Usami who had already taken a sip but yet to swallow it due to the act Misaki was pulling.

"Spit it out!" Misaki screamed. His eyes were mad as hell, his breathing so deep like he was running out of breath.

"Spit it out! Now!" Forgetting all formalities and manners, Misaki jumped on the composer, causing the two of them to fall on the floor. Misaki on top of Usami, the young boy forced the man to open his mouth by grabbing the man's jaw. But Usami was struggling. Everybody in the suite didn't know what was going on with Misaki. Hidori positioned himself to pull Misaki off Usami but Misaki did the unthinkable.

Both hands shaking, Misaki grabbed Usami's shirt and pulled the man into what appeared to Hidori and Io's horror to be a kiss.

Usami felt Misaki's tongue prodding inside his mouth. Caught off guard, his eyes were just wide with confusion. Soon he realized that Misaki was sucking the wine inside his mouth. The boy was sucking his mouth dry.

Panting like crazy, the wine dripping off Misaki's chin as he spat most of it on the floor, the young man glared then at Io who was appalled at what Misaki was doing. Slowly, like a mad man, Misaki pulled both the glass and the bottle of wine off of Io's hands and threw them with all his might to the floor, creating a pool of wine on it and shattering the glass and bottle into a shimmering mess.

"Mi-Misaki!? What the he-"

"Where did you get that!? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!"

Misaki screamed as he began to shake Io violently, his fingers digging hard on Io's flesh.

Io had never seen Misaki like this. Never knew that his shadow singer had this kind of strenght in him. And he felt his flesh about to tear off.

"Misaki you're hurting me!" Io shouted, breaking free from Misaki's grasp.

But Misaki was not yet contented, all his bad memories coming back to him because of that wine. Why was that wine in there? The wine that started all Misaki's hardships. Misaki positioned himself as if about to attack Io, but Usami blocked Misaki's way.

"Takahashi-kun! CUT THIS SHIT OUT!" the composer ordered. However Misaki wasn't hearing anything and instead tried to grab Io from Usami Akihiko's side.

It was after Misaki felt himself falling backwards from Usami Akihiko's strong slap on his face that he went back to his senses.

Misaki's eyes were glistening, he looked at Usami, holding Io by the shoulder. He lifted his trembling fingers and traced his flesh still hot and painful from the man's slap. It hurt so much. It was not even the pain on his flesh that hurt. It was his insides hurting, burning he felt he would explode any minute.

Usami's expression softened a little as he looked down on the sweating, panting, pathetic form of the boy he even praised before. He even hurt himself from the slap he gave the green-eyed boy staring at him with a betrayed look. He felt dang guilty. He knew for himself he slapped the boy harder than he intended.

"I'm sorry...please...get up..." Usami started, kneeling before Misaki whose tears started welling from his eyes.

Usami Akihiko felt his throat constrict when the crying boy smiled weakly at him. Misaki had raised his left hand and ran his thumb on the man's lips brushing off the trace of wine on it.

Without a word, Misaki stood and left the three dumbfounded males inside the suite.

* * *

To a normal person, even to a person who regularly drank wine, it would be difficult to distinguish the deadly wine from the rest if they knew nothing about it. But Misaki sadly knew everything about that wine. The scent, the color, the thickness of the liquid. He knew that wine like it was the back of his hands. Misaki only knew after spending his so much time blaming himself from what happened to Takahiro.

Over a year ago, Misaki brought his brother a gift. A cheap wine from an old shop. Little did he know that it was one of the controversial wines a notorious syndicate before had manufactured. They used chemicals strong enough to blind and cripple people. Even kill people.

The doctors who looked after Takahiro said it was even a miracle his brother was alive. More of the wine and he would have instantly died. And so, Misaki, blaming his stupidity, he studied the hideous wine. Even from just the scent, he knew it. He felt his stomach churning everytime he smells the sweet scent of the wine, coz behind it, Misaki could smell the fatal chemical that killed a lot in the 1970's.

Though the syndicate had been captured already by the police force, not all the illegally manufactured wines had been destroyed. Some of them hidden somewhere together with the authentic ones, waiting for its next victim.

It victimized Misaki's brother, and Misaki went crazy when he thought of Usami Akihiko might suffer the same thing his brother did. Worse, he might have even died.

* * *

"What the hell happened to him?" Hidori sighed as he looked around the once neat suite now only a picture of chaos.

"I don't know...he suddenly went crazy..." Io whispered, unaware of the deadly wine he got from a friend. He was more concerned about the "night of his confession" fail.

Meanwhile, Usami Akihiko frowned at the lingering sensation on his lips. It was still hot from the boy's sucking. He was somehow bothered why the boy's crying face when he looked at him and it made him feel like he was the worst man in the world. He regret slapping the boy. He never would have thought he would regret hurting the boy like that. He was only thinking about protecting Io because he looked like getting hurt from Misaki's hold. But after seeing the poor form of the boy on the floor, tracing his swollen cheek, there was a feeling in him, a want in him to hug the boy right then and there. But it wouldn't look appropriate. The boy even looked sick. He should have ran after Misaki was what was inside his head.

_Shit...why am I so stirred up like this..._

Feeling suddenly tired, Usami ran a hand on his face and looked at the pool of wine, wondering why the timid looking boy suddenly lost control.

Misaki walked slowly in the busy night streets of Tokyo, bumping to some people. He felt so sick just remembering the scent of the wine. But he was also feeling so bad inside. He had never been slapped by anyone in his life. Not until that night. Much worse it was Usami AKihiko who even lifted a hand on him. Misaki laughed a little at the crazy things going on in his life.

He could have just explained what that wine was, but his brain stopped working when he saw Usami already drinking the wine. He just acted like a wild animal...god Misaki suddenly felt his cheeks grow hot remembering how he sucked off the wine from the composer's mouth.

_"I should have made it longer...there won't be another chance now, will there be?_"

Disgusted at his own thoughts, Misaki brushed his hair off his face.

_Why do I always look like the stupid and the bad guy in the end?_

Feeling like a loser, Misaki finally began to throw up on the sidewalk, wishing that somehow, at least there was a person beside him patting and comforting him.

"I just saved three freaking lives but why do I feel like shit?" Misaki cried and laughed while vomiting.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

-woohooo..lol..this chapter turned out to be so long..so yeah..sorry guys but Usami-san still doesn't know about Io's dirty little secret. Did i disappoint you? Hahaha...I was just saving a lot of things to make our Rabbit go crazy guilty...but that would be for later...HAHAHA...everything will come out on its own...just please stay with me in their journey. buwahahaha...

And about the wine case. I read before in an article that there was really a certain wine that caused blindness to people who drank it. It has some chemical reaction that attacked a nerve in the brain. So that part is based on reality though i just made up the .^^

AND ABOUT THE CHAPTER TITLE...PLEASE FEEL FREE TO INTERPRET IT HOWEVER YOU LIKE. HAHAHAHA

THANKS FOR READING PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW..also just saying...for those who are also following "The Torn Canvas", *Bows* sorry i haven't updated this iN a week now right? I was just trying to make "the Shadow Singer" catch up with the "canvas" in terms of NUMBER OF chapters. Hopefully by next week I am back to my normal schedule.^^

LOVE YOU EVERYONE...! CHU!


	7. Two Beginnings

_***cries* the reviews are just flooding that i can;t help but feel so wonderul that people are taking their time reading this fiction. i am so grateful from the bottom of my innards. Enjoy!^^**_

* * *

**Two Beginnings**

* * *

It was already ten in the morning, but it was still as pitch dark as the crazy yesterday's night in Usami Akihiko's room. The man was lying on his stomach in his water bed still in what he was wearing that night before. He didn't care that he stink from drinking out a little with Hidori after he dropped off his young, adored singer Io home. The young man even wanted to come with the two grown ups but Usami declined. He was too occupied by the lingering guilt in the pits of his stomach and he wanted to right away forget that guilt. That somehow, maybe drinking would let him forget that tearful face flashing before his eyes over and over again. He drinks when he wanted to forget. That was a ritual he had practiced ever since. But that night, the boozed didn't had any single ounce of effect on him.

Takahashi Misaki's lips felt like it was still brushing against his own, sucking the wine dry, sucking his soul dry. The form of the boy on the floor tracing his red cheek looked more vivid than reality. The booze just intesified every single thing he wanted to erase in his mind. And it irritated him.

Wasted and in a bad mood, the composer rolled to his side to escape the light that entered his room when his right-hand man had pulled the thick, curtains on the side.

"Good morning Sir. It's time to wake up."

With a deep frown, Usami rested his arm on his still heavy eyes and exhaled. "Huh? I don't have any appointments today right?" his low, husky morning voice escaped his bitter mouth.

Smiling, the old man then approached the bed and extended Usami's phone. "You told me last night to wake you up at ten. You mentioned something about a wine and Hidori-san. But you were too drunk to tell me more of the details. But I believe you were intending to make a call to Hidori-sa at ten."

A grunt was Usami Akihiko's only reply as he rolled back on his stomach. "I'm going back to sleep. I don't care about that Takahashi something anyway...please leave."

_Yes, Io should only be my priority..._

He was already drifting back to sleep only to be pulled back to the reality by a loud ring from his other phone on the side table beside his ashtray, almost full of cigarette sticks.

"...Shit..."

His face buried on his huge, white pillow, Usami extended his hand on the table feeling the mess on it. He knocked his rolex watch and some of his lighters on the floor as he continued his hand to look for the damn phone. Finally, he got it and lazily he placed it against his left ear.

"Usami, I told you to call me at ten, didn't I? Don't tell me you're still snoozing off?" a scolding, irritated voice boomed out of the speaker.

"What? Hidori my head is killing me," Usami answered, his words a little slurred.

"Listen to me. Remember I took some wine sample last night since the kid with Io appeared so upset about it? The result is already with me."

"Oh yeah?" Usami answered, completely uninterested.

"Oi, oi, oi, you sound like you fucking don't care when it's your idea in the first place. Do you want to know the result or not?"

Usami tsked first then slowly sat on his bed, his brows in a furrow as he adjusted his sleepy eyes to the light of the glaring sun from his windows.

"I'm listening."

There was a silence first. It made Usami's ears more awake. Every rustle he made on the bed and even the ticking of the second hand of the small clock on his table sounded ten times louder.

"You have a lot of making up and apologizing to do towards that boy you slapped. Make a feast for him or something, better yet, kneel before him and worship him. I'll even join you."

Usami's fine brows met in a frown once more as he pondered what on Earth his friend and music consultant was trying to say.

Massaging his temples, Usami chuckled a little, his voice mixed with irritation.

"Hey, isn't it you who's probably still asleep and sleep talking? I am not getting whatever you're saying. I'm hanging up."

"Ah Mou- Fine...cutting off the chase, the kid just saved my life, YOUR life and your adored Io's life and what he got was a slap. I feel so bad for the kid Usami I could cry!"

"What?" Usami asked in an impatient voice still confused.

* * *

"Great...Just fucking great..."

Usami had been fuming in anger at himself as he sped up his red sports car towards Zone Management. His head had been repeating what Hidori had just told him, each time making him feel worse than before.

His hands gripped the wheel harder, eyes fixed on the road ahead of him, cursing each time the traffic lights flashed red.

_"The wine specialist I asked told me that the wine was one of those banned wines from the syndicate in 1970s. He said the government tried to destroy all of the remaining manufactured wines. But that was just impossible. Every now and then the wines end up to the poor people unaware of it..."_

"Shit..." Usami hissed when he noticed from afar the building traffic ahead of him.

_"If that poor kid..."_

_"Stop saying poor kid already!"_ Usami shouted, Misaki being described as "poor kid" bothered him so much. He felt his guilt was being accompanied by a huge irritation. An irritation towards himself and he didn't like it.

_"If the kid didn't stop us from drinking that wine, Usami...the three of us would have gone blind, crippled...we'll be vegetables. My friend said it depends on how much sensitive a person is. Usami...you could have lost your sense of touch, or hearing...if not for that young man throwing all self consciousness and sucking off the wine in your mouth, you might be dead by now..."_

Usami hit the wheel in great irritation as he waited for the traffic to ease even a little.

_"Or you could have lived but be dead as a composer. Same goes for everyone of us."_

After feeling being stuck in the traffic for all eternity, Usami Akihiko pressed on the accelarator once again, eager to reach Zone Management as soon as possible.

_"Usami, apologize to him properly okay? I've already sent some gifts for him, but Midori is telling me I should set up a dinner or something. Hahaha..that one I am leaving it to you!"_

Gritting his teeth at his friend's antics, he turned to the parking lot of Zone Management, his car wheels screeching loudly inside the empty underground place. He slammed the car door shut and his steps echoed in the cold walls of the lot.

_"You slapped him remember? For Io-kun...honestly Usami...you're...never mind. Just apologize and give that kid the gratitude he deserves."_

"I'll do just that..."he muttered under his warm breath.

However, his steps slowed down as he was nearing the elevator. And as he slowed down walking, something inside him started racing.

* * *

Earlier that day, Misaki found himself being stared at. They would look at him with eyes questioning but would stop themselves from asking. The night before, Misaki went straight to the hospital to be with his brother. He slept beside his pillar of support while massaging his hot cheek, getting wet from his silent tears. And when morning came and decided to get some coffee for himself because he needed to fully wake up since he still had a job to do that day, he noticed the gazes of the visitors at him. But he brushed them off.

Misaki walked briskly towards the vendo machine. And just when he's about to insert his coin, he noticed a pair of white shoes beside him. When he looked up, it was Kumiko-san, the nurse in-charge in the Neurology children's play ward.

"Goodmorning, Kumiko-san?" Misaki planned on greeting the nurse in a lively manner, but he noticed the same curious look on her face and his greeting ended sounding like a question instead.

"Takahashi-kun..." the nurse eyed him with a painful look and then patted him on the shoulder. "Follow me."

* * *

A flock of busy people going in all directions welcomed Usami Akihiko. He slowly walked in the spacious yet still crowded hallway of the first floor of Zone Management building. Artists, bands, singers under Zone were either getting ready for a gig or a show. They were all busy to notice a certain tall guy wearing a casual white cotton shirt and denim jeans. His eyes completely hidden by his dark ray ban sunglasses and his hair naturally just falls into place. In Zone, people would just think he was just one of those top models visiting a fling or other matter.

He walked in the middle of the sea of people, and his strong presence just automatically ordered the people on his way to move aside. He rolled his eyes and looked at the walls of Zone. He just took notice that most of the posters on it were Io's face; product endorsements, shows, guestings. Instead of being happy, he was surprised to actually feel nothing about it.

His steps grew a little faster. The tiled, white floors clicking with the soles of his shoes. He didn't want to let Riki or Io or any higher ups of Zone know he was there. All his business was purely with Takahashi Misaki.

"What's his name again?" was the girl's question when the composer asked a teenaged girl probably about 15.

The composer grimaced at the back of his mind. She was a teenager dressed like a slut. "Takahashi Misaki."

Twirling her long violet curls, she rolled her eyes thinking. "It's easier if you will look for Io instead Mister," and then the girl winked at him before walking away.

On the second floor where the dance studios where located, Usami discreetly checked the people inside, scanning his eyes at the unfamiliar faces. If Misaki was one of Io's back up dancers, he probably might be in some dance rehearsal or something. He stood in front of the door, looking through a glass panel.

"Hello, need someone? I could call him out for you."

Usami looked down at a slim woman wearing a black shirt where an "instructor" was printed on the chest area.

"I was just wondering if Takahashi Misaki is in?" Usami asked, removing his sunglasses for a little of respect. "...he dances with Io as far as I know."

"Oh Takahashi-kun?!" the woman exclaimed, obviously she liked the boy. "Everyone knows him in here..." the woman suddenly turned away. "He's not in here though..."

"Where do you think I can find him?"

"Look for Io, Takahashi-kun is usually where Io is."

There was an obvious change in Usami's expression. "Is the person I am looking for Io's personal assistant or something?"

"Ahaha," the woman laughed rather forcefully. "Well, I better get going. I hope you find him soon. Io probably might be resting in his personal room on the fourth floor."

And so the woman hurriedly went inside the dance studio and left Usami alone. Putting his sunglasses back on his face, Usami started walking towards the stairs, wondering why on Earth everyone in Zone tells him to look for Io when it was Misaki he was looking for.

He flicked his tongue and inserted both his hands in his jeans pocket. _There is something that feels not right here..._

* * *

"Oi, please stay put and don't walk around too much, the hair spray is yet to dry!"

Io's stylist named Arisaka, who was helping another artist get ready for a guesting frowned and dashed out of the styling room to run after the tall, young man. "Oi! Punk I said stay put! I won't fix that hair of yours again remember that you ingrate!" he screamed in the middle of the hall, not realizing he had just blocked Usami Akihiko's way.

Sensing another presence, Arisaka turned his head to look at the presence, what he saw caught his breath away for a second. He suddenly wanted to touch the silver locks, they looked so easy to manipulate. Different styles ran in Arisaka's mind as he looked at Usami's face hidden by his sunglasses.

"Oh...sorry for staring, you've got some great hair there...but..." Arisaka narrowed his eyes as he looked Usami from head to foot, tapping his small comb against his chin. "It's the first time I saw you in here. Mind if I ask you who you are? This isn't where the Zone Management Office is. It's on the sixth floor."

Usami observed the guy in front of him to rival his height. The guy had a long hair with different streaks of color and he had piercing on his ears and below his lips. On the man's hip was a bag where different kinds of hair brushes were. He looked flashy but the man seemed to be decent enought to talk to. Usami removed his sunglasses first and put on a neutral face.

"I am looking for a Takahashi Misaki."

At the mention of the name, Arisaka's eyes turned curious then bit his lips while thinking. "Misaki-chan?"

_"Misaki...chan?"_ Usami repeated in his head and it sounded completely...distateful.

"Now that you mentioned him...I haven't seen him around yet. I heard Io had a guesting earlier, so probably Misaki-chan..."

_There it is again...Takahashi being connected to Io..._

"Hey are you listening to me?" Arisaka waived his comb at Usami's face.

"Yes, of course," he lied.

"Well, as I was saying why don't you wait there on that waiting area," the stylist then pointed at the place where white sofas were and a small table with magazines on top of it. "It's almost lunch time and we usually eat together. So he could arrive any minute now. May I know you're name so I could tell him someone's waiting for him?"

"I would appreaciate it if you could just inform him someone wanted to talk to him."

Arisaka flicked his tongue. "Okay..." then turned his back.

* * *

It has been fifteen minutes since Usami had sat on one of the sofas in the waiting area. His back facing the direction he came from, he boredly stared at the announcement board hanging on the wall crammed with too many papers it was like a dump.

And then he heard Arisaka's voice who just came out of the styling room to get something.

"Oh my God..."

"Err...hi. Don't stare. I've been stared at half the day already..."

When Usami Akihiko heard that younger voice reply, he didn't stand or turn his head right away. But he knew instantly it was Takahashi Misaki.

"What happened to your face?" the stylist lightly ran his thumb on Misaki's left cheek that made the latter grimace from pain.

"Oww...don't touch. The nurse told me I have a little contusion..."

At the mention of the word, Usami Akihiko had stood abruptly from his seat. Arisaka was blocking his view of Misaki so he walked towards the two. As if a cold water had been poured over him and yet still a wave of electricity ran down his spine, his chest began to contrict at the view he didn't expect.

Arisaka, brushing Misaki's cheek lightly, while the green eyed boy, smiling shyly at the guy.

"Contusion? Sounds alien to me...how in the world did you manage to get a face like that?"

Sheepisly, Misaki soflty touched his bluish, purpleish cheek and smiled. "I accidentally fell and hit my face..."

And as Usami Akihiko got closer, his horror and guilt grew even deeper.

"Yeah right...and what's that they're like fingers to me!? Did you get into a fight?"

* * *

Misaki stared with wide eyes at the man he noticed from behind Arisaka. His hand was still touching his bruised cheek as he stared at Usami with his lips parted a little. It was the perfect picture to make someone grow crazy with guilt.

Arisaki turned to his back because he noticed his friend as if Misaki just saw a ghost. "Aw, sorry I forgot all about you..." he apologized to Usami while laughing.

"Misaki...this guy had been looking and waiting for you. Said he wanted to talk to you. Do you know him? You look weird. Oi..."

"Ah..." Misaki started. Finally gathering his composure, Misaki bowed a little, placing his hand down on his sides which gave the composer the perfect view of the result of his sudden action last night. "Hello, Sir..."

* * *

There in one of the many small tables of a coffee shop, Misaki sat on his chair, wanting to just disappeare. The composer had asked if he could talk with him. After Arisaka saying he would do something so he could sneak for about an hour, he silently followed the composer out and into his car. He remembered the ride inside the sports car as equally nerve wracking. If not for the embarrassment and awkwardness of the situation, he would have been very happy like a child to even get to sit in such an expensive car. However, Misaki just stared ahead, not uttering a single word.

And Misaki thought it was just him feeling awkward, little did he know that the man had been glancing at his face more than the road they were taking. Wondering and trying to imagine how much his bruise on his pale skin must have hurt.

The aroma of the coffee that usually calmed Misaki wasn't helping at all. He was more into coffees than teas to begin with but at that moment, everything felt so bland. And if staring at the small cup of coffee could make the contents of it go dry, Misaki's cup should have been empty long ago.

_I wish he would just say something now_...Misaki prayed, as he felt his skin get goosebumps from the intense eyes directed at his face. He honestly wanted to hide.

"Your face, does it hurt that much?" Usami thought the question was as stupid as it sounded, given the obvious bad bruise on the boy's face.

"It does, specially when I touch it accidentally," Misaki answered truthfully. He wanted to say no. But at least with these little matters he didn't want to lie. "But please don't worry, the nurse treated the bruise already and said the bruise will disappear in about a week."

However, Usami's face didn't seem satisfied.

"This isn't that serious. You see she told me bruises appear worse than it is on light skin, but this is just a minor one. Don't worry."

Misaki was beginning to smile deep inside feeling the concern of the man, but he again stared confused when the man said something so unexpected. The people near their table even had to raise their heads towards them, thinking there was an argument.

"Are you stupid?"

"...?"

"No...I mean, are you a saint or something?"

Misaki was lost.

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty more than I am already feeling? It was I who slapped you hard enough to cause that bruise on your face and you tell _me_, not to worry?"

"I..."

'I can't believe there are really such people like you."

Not sure whether he was being praised or mocked, Misaki just lowered his gaze back to his cup and silently waited for another blow.

"I wish..." the older man's voice continued suddenly in a softer voice. "I had met the likes of you when I was younger..."

The green eyed boy suddenly raised his gaze towards the man before him. The small smile on the man's face made him breathless and sad at the same time. And not wanting to believe his own eyes, Misaki almost fell from his chair when the great composer bowed deeply before him.

"I am sorry for acting harshly and hurting you. I was on the wrong."

The shocked Misaki stood and waived his hand before his chest frantically. Telling the older man to stop bowing in front of him. Him who was a no one.

"Please, Usami-sama, stop bowing you don't have to do that! I know I was reckless myself!"

Still in his sincere act of apology, Usami Akihiko lifted his face and locked gazes with the worried green eyes before him. "I owe you my life. How could I ever repay you?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Misaki asked still not following where the conversation was heading to.

Smiling at Misaki, the smile he usually only gave to Io, Usami's entire face lit up, blurrying Misaki's vision. And when Misaki thought of vision, it was not something related to his eyes. He was pertaining to what one's heart could see.

"I know now what that wine is..."

* * *

Walking like he was on cloud nine, Misaki skidded his way back to Zone. He strongly refused to be taken back to Zone in that red sports car and insisted he would come back on his own. Besides, he just remembered he had to go drop by to a CD shop to buy something.

Smiling like some stupid, accompanied by some soft giggles from him, no matter how hard Misaki tried to hide his happiness, he couldn't. He felt his heart was so full that even if his face hurt by too much grinning, he kept on smiling anyway.

"Usami-sama...ah no~no..." Misaki muttered on the sidewalk as if he was talking to someone, people that saw him thought Misaki had some mental issues. "It's..."

_"Please stop calling me 'sama' already."_

Misaki remembered himself frowning. He didn't want to call the composer as 'Akihiko-san' the way Io was addressing him.

_"Don't...don't you have a nick name...?"_ Misaki asked shyly, pushing his luck.

_"I never had one."_

_How can someone reach his age and not have a nick name at some point in his life?_ Misaki wondered.

The man gracefully, like he was a royalty, took a sip of his coffee and then placed it down suddenly smiling wider at a weird thought. _"Why don't you do the honor?"_

"_HAH?"_

_"The person who saved me from a dreadful fate should do the honor and give me my first nick name..."_

Misaki knew the man was just joking, but a single word popped out of his mouth._ "Usagi-san?"_

The older man's face turned blank. It made Misaki all nervous once again. How can he give such a childish nickname to a person of such standing?

"_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just thought, you wearing white, and uhm your hair is almost white too when the sun hits it. I remembered a rabbit I saw in our province in..."_ Misaki was about to say 'Okinawa' where he and his brother used to spend their summer vacation when the man started laughing.

Laughing merrily, Usami Akihiko had to put his one hand to cover his mouth and calm his laughter. _"Sorry, sorry...I never thought someone as tall as me would be compared to a rabbit."_

_"I'm sorry...I'll just call you Usami-san..."_

_"No...I like it. Usagi-san it is."_

Before Misaki could reach a CD on the 'Classics' section of the CD shop, Misaki again started smiling widely. "Aww,,,enough...enough..you're too much happy Misaki..." he scolded himself.

Misaki then was about to go to the counter when someone suddenly bumped to him from behind. When he turned to look to ask whoever it was if he's okay, only a black shirt was only what he saw. He had to raise his head to meet face to face with the person who bumped into him.

_"Uwah-he's as tall as..."_

"I'm sorry, I stepped on my shoe lace," the guy apologized pointing at his feet. But the moment the guy saw Misaki's face, as usual all the people focused on his bruise. But Misaki wasn't bothered by it anymore. He didn't care about it anymore to be honest.

Smiling, Misaki replied that he was just fine and started walking away.

But he wasn't even able to take a few steps towards the counter and he was interrupted again by a smiling girl, carrying a folder and a pen, obviously blocking his way.

"Sir, mind if I take a survey? It won't take three minutes I swear!"

"But I am in a hurry now..." Misaki answered softly.

"Oh? Survey? What is it about?" the man who bumped Misaki joined in from behind.

The girl stared at the face of the tall man, feeling a little shy. He was a face one would call, manly, yet, exuded a different feel altogether.

"Uhm, just the views of our customer about Usami Akihiko, PianoSonata, BlackMedly and Sagao Aiko."

Misaki suddenly became interested at the mention of his now friend and great composer, Usagi-san. He still felt a little weird thinking about the composer as Usagi-san, but proud it was him who gave the person he was looking up to his first nick name.

"A survey about composers?" Misaki asked.

"Oh yeah. You know nowadays, it's not just the singers that are being recognized but also the composers who create the songs! Well, the four names I mentioned are the biggest names, so we just want to know your opinion. Who do you think is the best among them?"

Misaki didn't even have to think. "Usami Akihiko."

The girl wrote something on her folder and smiled. "Wow, Usami Akihiko is always being selected but BlackMedly is not far from him."

"You sir? What's your answer?" The girl asked the guy beside Misaki.

"Hmmmm..." the tall man, closed his eyes then shocked the girl by leaning down on her and whispering to her ear. Misaki grimaced at the obvious flirting the man was doing.

"Ah...hahaha" the girl laughed blushing. "BlackMedly is your choice?"

"Is that all? Can I go now?" Misaki asked remembering the time.

"Oh wait one last question. Since Usami Akihiko and BlackMedly are in close results with our surveys, could you tell us what do you think is the other composer lacking that's why you didn't choose them? You sir?" the girl asked the tall man first.

"Usami AKihiko is trying to be too emotional. Talent wise I have nothing to say," was the man's answer.

Misaki had to look away to hide his frown at what he heard.

"I see...what about you?" the girl asked Misaki, readying herself to make some notes.

"BlackMedly is an awesome composer. I've been listening to his music too," Misaki looked at the tall man looking down on him as if saying 'game on' not looking away while saying his answer. "But I feel the composer is too much into technicalities. That he's music to me sounds dead."

"Uhmmm...could you enlighten me? Dead? What do you mean?"

"BlackMedly's compositions are lacking of heart."

The survey girl and the tall man stared at Misaki for a while, both of them surprised at Misaki's seriousness.

The air of awkwardness was interrupted though by Misaki's phone ringing.

"Ah..great..." Misaki placed the CD he was holding back on the rack. "Excuse me but I have to hurry now."

When Misaki was completely out of sight, the tall man reached for the CD Misaki had just returned to the rack. "Pachelbel huh?" then he gave a lopsided smile.

"There you are!" A man's voice called out panting. He ran towards the cool guy and scowled. "You, don't disappeare like a child on me! How in the world did you end up in this small CD shop from the airport?!"

The guy smiled and waved the CD on his assisstant's face. "You;re too slow so I decided to kill time."

"Eh what?" the assistant, adjusted the thick eyeglasses he had on and squinted at the title of the CD. "I thought you hate Pachelbel, you said Canon was a playful shit? How come you're buying it?"

"No reason at all. I just want to know what kind of music that kid listens to."

"Ha?"

The cool guy chuckled, running his hand on his dark hair. "Fuji...BlackMedly was told on his face that his compositions are dead."

"Eh? Who would say that to you...?"

Laughing more, the cool guy walked away towards the counter, leaving his tired, assistant dumbdounded.

"Hey! Wait for me! After all the searching I did to find you!"

"You're so slow, pay this for me. I only have my cards with me," the guy ordered, boredly tapping the CD against the counter top.

The assistant scowled as he took his wallet from his back pocket. "You really know how to piss me off, Ijuuin Kyo."

* * *

Hello everyone! thank you for such great comments adn support i really appreaciate them...okay..hahaha..i have nothing much to say to tis chpater except that contusion is a medical term for a bruise can be a result of hitting, scraping or slapping. And in people with light complexions they're really bad to look at^^, specially younger ones have more delicate nerve tissues. pffT according to what i have read.

^^MUAH MUAH EVERYONE AND GUESTS!≧(´▽｀)≦

==shuusetsu^^


	8. Event

I hope you may also enjoy this chapter as much i enjoyed typing away...hehehe^^

* * *

**Event**

* * *

When Misaki woke up, he had this sudden lightness in his heart he almost forgot. Perhaps, being in good terms with someone he thought out of reach did him a lot of good. Disposition wise, he thought he could carry everything. Heart wise, he was content with the friendship established. He was hoping nothing more from it. What else could be there anyway?

In what used to be his and Takahiro's room, Misaki roamed his bare feet on the floors as he started preparing for the day. Humming like the cheerful young man that he was, the usually dark room somehow appeared more bright in Misaki's eyes. He took off his pyjamas and jumped into the shower. He started grinning, which sent him grimacing at the end since his bruise was still there. But the pain didn't stop him from smiling. He was that happy just remembering yesterday's event with his Usagi-san.

"You're too happy Misaki," the young man scolded himself in front of the mirror which was foggy from the steam. He was scolding himself, yet he was still smiling. _This day's gonna be a breeze._..Misaki thought, fully inspired.

He was eating breakfast when his phone rang. About to drink his hot coffee, he took his phone from his bag on the table and looked at it.

"Private number?" Misaki muttered as his green eyes tried to register in his brains if it was a number somehow familiar to him. Pressing the "talk" button, Misaki again focused his attention at his food and drink. "Hai..."

"Good morning."

Misaki almost spilled the cup of coffee after hearing the voice on the line. He just couldn't believe it. "U-USAGI-SAN?!" he asked, not able to hide the surprise in his voice. It sounded like he was choking.

"You sound weird. Are you okay?"

Heart thundering in his chest, Misaki started pacing his room. He thought his heart wouldn't be able to handle such a huge surprise as early as that in the morning. And he began feeling nervous.

"I-I'm fine!" Very very very much fine! Misaki's mind screamed. "But, how did you get my number Usagi-san?"

There was a soft laughter at the other side of the line._ Ah...music to my ears.._.Misaki thought.

"I have ways. Well this wouldn't be a long call. I just wanted to know if you would like to go with me," the composer asked in a voice that somehow sounded like he just woke up. "As my thank you gift, the day after tomorrow?" he added.

"Go where?" the nervous wreck asked.

"It's supposed to be a surprise. Well, do you think you can make your schedule clear that day?"

"If it's for thanking me for the incident before Usagi-san, you don't have to."

"There is one advice I will give you today kid, don't be too nice and grab opportunities when it's presented to you."

Misaki fell silent.

"It's not bad to be nice, don't get me wrong. But you are in an industry where people strive to surpass each other. Takahashi-kun, if you don't want to stay forever where you are right now, learn to be a little hard and thick-skinned."

"Okay..."

Usagi-san's sigh could be heard from the other line. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scold you."

Misaki looked at the picture of him hanging on the wall. A photo where he was wearing headphones behind a glass panel, his grin up to his ears while holding the very first music sheet of the song he sang for Io. A picture taken discreetly by Arisaka. And a couple of days later, the stylist gave it to Misaki.

"No, it's fine. It's the reality. I'll remember that Usagi-san."

"So, I'll expect you to be free on that day...Misaki."

"Alright..." then Misaki suddenly turned all ears to the person he was talking to. "Mi~Misaki?" he repeated.

"Huh? What's wrong? You want me to call you 'Misaki'? Is that what you want me to call you?"

"Ha?" Misaki was dumbfounded. Maybe he heard it wrong, or his head in the clouds could probably just be making it up. "No! No~ I didn't mean it that way...sorry...I thought..." he trailed off.

The man on the other line chuckled a little. "See you then."

"Bye..."

Wanting to smash his face on his plate, Misaki shut his eyes hard. He was so embarrassed with himself he could die. "Ah...I sounded like a maiden or something! What is happening with me! Oi, oi oi! Come on ears, stop making up things!"

Slowly while Misaki was cleaning off his dishes, the boy's lips curled a little upwards. Imagination, hallucination, whatever it was, his name sounded so perfect rolling out of Usagi's lips.

* * *

Usami Akihiko had long since placed his phone back on its receiver. But he was still staring at it like he couldn't believe himself.

"What has gotten into me?"

The composer then stood from his bed. He walked towards the huge window, his bare skin feeling the warmth of the morning rays. Standing with only his cotton trousers to cover himself, he looked over to the east of the vast, busy metropolis. In his penthouse with almost 360 degrees view of Tokyo, he pinned his lavender eyes towards a certain building he just became familiar recently. Zone Management.

Misaki hearing his name from Usagi-san was no hallucination. The composer muttered Misaki's name out of curiosity. And to Usami's surprise, uttering 'Misaki' felt and sounded so good. Like it was a name he should be calling instead. A nostalgic feeling coming from it.

Running his hand on his flawless face, Usami started chuckling. All he thought that time was there were two interesting people he should look out for. Io, his past and the person he was thinking that could probably be his present. And Misaki, a boy that for come reason, Usami wanted to look after.

Only fate could tell the man thirsty for affection that his past was Misaki and that the present and that the future he was waiting for was soon to break.

* * *

"What's going on?" Misaki had asked Arisaka who was lazily browsing a magazine outside Io's dressing room.

When the young man arrived in Zone, as usual his routine was to go right away to Riki-san's office to get his schedule for that day. But the manager wasn't in his office and instead, he was in Io's room. The room with a sign outside "don't disturb".

Sitting beside the stylist who had complete uninterest with what was going behind the closed doors, Misaki poked Arisaka on the cheek. The stylist closed the magazine and threw it back on the center table and looked at Misaki with menacing eyes.

"Do you want me to poke a hole on that bruise on your face ha, Kid?" wiggling his index finger at Misaki's face.

Misaki moved away, protecting his cheek with his left hand. "Poke the other instead, Arisaka-san!" Misaki pretended so scared.

The stylist grinned and ruffled Misaki's chocolate hair. "You seem a lot cheerful today than usual. I bet yesterday with that tall guy went well?"

"Yeah," Misaki answered looking back on the closed door painted red. "It went well surprisingly," then Misaki looked at Arisaka's eyes. "It was also because of you. Thank you."

Arisaka started making faces. "Ah goodness, don't be too dramatic this early in the morning. I don't want you to suddenly cry here and wipe your snot."

The two close friends continued fooling around, not knowing the seriousness of what was going on inside Io's private room.

* * *

Riki-san, with his short and fat fingers held the pieces of stationaries while trembling in fury.

"_'If you will not be mine, I'd rather you be a cold corpse instead.'?_" the manager read aloud with a huge scowl on his face. He crumpled the first stationary and read the second one. "'_I love you, Io, please come back to me.'_?"

At the peak of his fury, the big man torn the remaining letters into pieces, threw them on the floor and stomped on them. He then directed his angry eyes at Io.

"What the hell is this Io? Death threats? From one of your flings?! Haven't I told you to stop fooling around for now since you're on the peak of your career?!" his voice roared loud enough to break glass. But only muffled voices can be heard outside.

Io, who had some clay mask on his face and lying on his small sofa bed on the side turned his head slightly at his manager, not at all affected by the rage the manager was emitting.

"What's the big deal with that Riki-san? Besides I did stop goofing around after we got Akihiko-san's offer. The sender might be just an obsessed fan, freak or something. He had been sending me the same notes like he's a broken printer."

At hearing the last sentence, the manager narrowed his eyes even more then inhaled a deep one to calm himself. Or else he'd have a heart attack.

"You mean, you've been getting these shit for a long time now?" the voice hissed. "And if I didn't go here to have you sign some papers I wouldn't even know?!"

The young man touched the clay mask with his finger tips to check if it was already fully dry. He then darted his eyes at the chubby man in front of him. He slightly nodded. "About a month already."

"Fuck, Io, this is full of shit."

"Don't be such a worry-wart Riki-san. They're just threats. They're nothing to be scared about."

The manager who was wearing a black shirt with the face of Mr. Big printed on it scowled even more.

"You do know that tomorrow is a huge fan's day! We can't have you surrounded by body guards or your 'easy to approach' theme will get ruined! Fuck Io, you are making everything so hard for me!"

Getting irritated himself, Io sat from where he was lying. "You're too noisy Riki-san! I didn't ask for body guards anyway! The fans day will go as planned, everything will go as planned. So allow me to get some peace will you?"

The manager massaged his throbbing temples then sat on the edge of Io's vanity top. "Who else knows about these letters?"

"Two."

"What?!"

"Chill...me and the sender! You're so paranoid Riki-san," Io muttered, fanning his hand on his mask.

The manager sighed. Io was really a handful, he knew that already. Crossing his arms across his chest, the man shook his head. "I have to do something about this. I wouldn't let you walking around with no protection."

"Come on Riki-san, I hate body guards!"

"Shut-up! I'll get you body guards in civilian clothes. We can't risk you being killed on YOUR fans day for fuck's sake!"

* * *

The day passed by so fast for Misaki he was even surprised to find himself already entering the hospital premises where his brother was confined. One plastic bag of dangos in one hand and a bag of clothes he prepared for tomorrow's event, Misaki walked happily. He had his earphones in his ears, humming to the tune of some classical music he downloaded from itunes.

When Misaki looked up at the sky, it was already dark, the stars clearly visible, telling him that the next day would be another hot and clear day. He sniffed the hot summer air before finally entering the building that smelled of antiseptics, alcohol and sickness.

"Takahashi-kun, you're quiet early for a weekday!" the guard called out as the young man entered the automatic doors.

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it myself!" he replied, feeling happy that he was already close with most of the hospital employees. Being there for almost a year, visiting his bed ridden brother everyday without fail, who wouldn't recognize him?

* * *

"Is that dangos I am smelling?"

Misaki placed the bag on top of the table and started preparing it. "Wow, Nii-chan, your sense of smell is getting stronger."

Takahiro laughed. "Well, it's my favorite after all."

The two started eating their favorite dangos, with Misaki helping his brother.

"By the way Misaki, you're quiet early today aren't you? It's just what? Probably seven or eight?"

Misaki swallowed his food then looked at the clock beside Takahiro. "Seven thirty Nii-chan," Misaki replied as he poured his brother some tea and himself with coffee. "There's a big event tomorrow so Riki-san sent everyone home early today to charge."

Takahiro slowly drank his tea, savoring the aroma of it entering his nose warmly. He then shifted on his bed and smiled. "Your voice sounded so much cheerful today Misaki. Anything good that happened? I was meaning to ask you yesterday but your mind seemed to be floating away."

Not being able to stop himself, Misaki for the millionth time that day started smiling up to his ears once more. "Nothing big Nii-chan. Just plain happy."

"Oh...you don't plan on telling me?"

The boy suddenly looked serious. He didn't mean it that way but how could he tell his brother_ 'Nii-chan, I am so happy because I am now friends with the one I like! And oh by the way he's a man!_' No, he wasn't ready yet to tell Takahiro that his younger brother was trudging the path of a different orientation.

"Eh...Nii-chan...don't be like that. I'll tell you about it soon. But, for now..."

"Baka, I am not forcing you to tell me anything. I am just relieved your usual cheer is back. You sounded really bad the past few days that it bothered me to bones."

Smiling sadly at his brother, Misaki again helped his brother with another dango.

"Tomorrow's event Misaki, what's it going to be?"

"Hmmm, it's Io's first grand fans day so it's going to be very big! Not to mention the event will be held in Yoyogi Park!" Misaki excitedly muttered. "So you can just imagine the number of people coming already given that it's very near in Harajuku! So many young people gathering there plus, Io's fans, plus the fans from different places! I am excited myself."

"Calm down. Calm down," Takahiro chuckled, patting Misaki on the head. "Then will there be live performances?"

Standing from his seat to throw the plastic container of the dangos, Misaki shook his head. "None Nii-chan. The management decided to make an all digital show. They'd set-up a huge screen to let the fans watch Io's special, but aside from that, it would only be pure mingling with the fans and authograph signing."

Takahiro smiled silently then looked out the window that showed the darkness covering everyone at that time. As if he could see how dark yet bright the night was. "Oh, then what would you be doing there Misaki?"

Misaki again sat back on the chair and started massaging Takahiro's legs with firm yet gentle touches. "Just help around with refreshments I guess?"

* * *

Just as Misaki was expecting, it was just eight in the morning but the start of the day had been scorching hot. Misaki started to wonder why they chose to have the fans day in the middle of the the summer heat.

He arrived very early, helped around in setting up the huge tent where Io would be doing the autograph signing. He wiped the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand then turned back. He decided to go help the people fixing the balloons on the mini divisions they set-up to maintain a neat line for the fans. But Misaki was stopped by Riki-san on his way.

"Riki-san?"

The chubby man placed his arm on Misaki's shoulders and led the boy into one of the dressing vans. It made Misaki wonder why to the dressing area when all the directions he got earlier was to make himself useful.

"Listen to me Takahashi-kun. I have a very important job for you and it's only you who can do it," the man muttered in a low voice.

* * *

"I totally am not feeling good about this Misaki-kun," Arisaka muttered in an irritated voice as he was trying to fix Misaki's hair into the style he just fixed for Io's.

They were inside Io's dressing area, which was cramped with clothes, shoes and other accessories. One wouldn't believe there wouldn't be a live performance happening.

Misaki stared at his changing appearance through the huge mirror in front of him. A portion of his chocolate hair being braided to the side, Misaki thought he definitely have to have a picture of this. "Why are you mad Arisaka-san? I'm just going on stand by anyway."

The stylist brushed Misaki's cheeks rather harshly with the brush.

"Oww...Arisaka-san are you erasing my face?"

"No. I am going to erase you entirely! How can you easily agree to act as decoy? Are you stupid?" the stylist lifted Misaki's chin. "Close your eyes. I'm going to add glitters on the sides of your eyes so if you don't want to go blind, don't open them unless I tell you."

"Eh, Riki-san said they received some tip that there may be a group of anti fan coming. So I'll let Io have time to get away from them if they show up. It's nothing bad."

Arisaka rolled his eyes, then carefully added highlight's on Misaki's eyes. "That is exactly what I don't get you slow poke. If they throw rotten eggs and tomatoes at you, you'd catch them happily? I don't understand you sometimes Misaki-kun."

"I will catch all the rotten eggs or tomatoes happily Arisaka-san."

"Hah?!" the man gaped at the idiocity of the young man sitting before him. He honestly wanted to poke Misaki's eyes with the opposite side of his brush.

"Riki-san said I could finally have my one week leave if I do this for him. I could finally go back to Okinawa and visit my grandparents and parents' graves. So I don't care about catching rotten eggs."

The stylist fell silent for a moment. He knew how long Misaki had been asking for a three-day leave. But Riki-san had been too selfish and stubborn to give the boy what he was asking. And now, he was even giving his friend a "week"?

"I don't know Misaki-kun. That ball of fat is sly. I just wish it's just catching rotten eggs. I really wish," he muttered as he remembered the closed door discussion of Riki-san and Io the other day.

* * *

At eleven in the morning, the event officially started by the fireworks flying into the sky "Saying Welcome". The whole Yoyogi park was so full it was already impossible to move back once a person was already caught in the wave of screaming, howling fans getting wilder due to excitement. Plus the heat of the day getting into their heads was adding to their burning want to shake hands with their idol Io or if they were lucky enough, kiss him on the cheeks even.

The emcee called on Io who was wearing a simple dark blue polo with the long sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a blue denims with open cuts on the knees. When the male icon voted as the 'most liked' came out the mini stage set up beside the tent where the signing table was, the mob went crazier and noisier. They waived their banners and blew their whistles and started chanting "Io! Io! Io!" like a group of cult chanting the name of their god.

Despite the heat, Io appeared to still be fresh and unruffled. He stood confidently on stage and smiled. The moment he waived his left hand, the men guarding the stage started having a hard time maintaining the barricade they set up because the girl fans and the few guy fans started pushing forward.

"Everyone! Thank you so much for coming today! Despite the heat and your busy schedules, you still came here giving me all your love and support and I want you all to know how grateful I am from you joining me into this journey!"

The mob calmed down as they listened to their beloved artist. Io started first by thanking the sponsors, the people and his thank you speech that was so heart warming and heart tugging. Little did the fans know it was written by a professional writer.

Misaki noticed Io was really smiling. Being with Io for a long time already, he could already tell whether Io's smile was fake or real. But that day, it was no doubt a real smile he was flashing to everyone. Misaki was standing at the space between the stage and the tent, totally dressed the same as Io. Only that at that moment, he was wearing a denim cap to not blow his cover. Besides, people were too busy marvelling at Io's perfection they didn't have time to notice a certain guy like him.

With the loud music booming and Io talking and the speakers near Misaki, he couldn't almost understand what was going on. He just kept his guard on. And then he realized why Io was smiling so sweetly. At the very far side of the huge pool of people, there was a very huge tarpouline that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. It said "You've done great" with black U-A at the lower side of it.

Misaki could only think one "U-A" at that moment. And suddenly, he felt the heat starting to get its effect on him too.

"Of course, he'd be here somewhere," Misaki whispered to himself as he scanned the wave of people. But he failed to see his Usagi-san.

"Ah hahaha. Of course he wouldn't want to be stuck in the middle of these crazy fan girls..." then he looked again at the tarpouline, this time a little bitterly. "It sure is a grand way to show support."

* * *

After two hours of talking, Io and the team finally will be having their one hour break before the autograph signing. The fans also formed their own circles and spots to take their late lunches and snacks. The whole of Yoyogi park became a huge picnic sight.

Everyone was having a delightful lunch, except Misaki who was at his wits end when he suddenly lost eye on Io.

He looked into all the group of Io's team eating but he wasn't there. So Misaki decided to look into the huge parking lot on the other side where their services, TV crews cars and vans were.

Misaki felt the dark polo he was wearing was already sticking to his body due to sweat from running here and there.

Misaki suddenly felt so tired at the sight of the silver-haired man patting Io gently on the head. Misaki was still a little far from the two who was standing under the shade of a huge tree, but he didnt fail to notice the laughter coming from both of them. They must be talking about something fun.

Feeling a little envious though he knew he didn't have the right to be so, Misaki hid himself behind a black SUV, a little closer to the two. Good thing there were no fans in the parking area. If one saw Io in there, fans will surely fly around Io like bees.

Wondering for how long Usagi-san and Io would continue to talk merrily, Misaki peeked from behind the SUV and gasped.

There were a huge group of girls coming from behind the tree. Naturally either the tall man or the sweet-looking Io wouldn't notice.

"Oh my Goooooooooooood!" One of the girls screamed. "ISN'T THAT IO?!"

Like a cue, everyone darted at the direction of the tree and instantly saw Io. And the stampede began.

-  
Misaki couldn't comprehend how a single scream from a girl could call out even the fans outside the parking lot. Everything happened so fast that there was already a flood of crazy fangirls blocking Misaki's way towards Io.

Usami Akihiko could only protect Io by pushing Io against the tree and blocking the girls with his body.

"Are you still fine?" Usami asked as he threw a glance at the mob of people trying to get a closer look at Io. Trying to get a touch of him.

Looking up, Io smiled shyly then bit his bottom lip. "Yeah, sorry you have to be stuck in a situation like this."

"It;s fine. I should've know better not to be too at ease."

The wave of people grew larger and larger that the moment Io's team realized what was going on, the whole situation had gone uncontrollable.

Meanwhile, Misaki did everything, all his best to get towards Usami Akihiko and Io stuck under the shade of the tree. Misaki could even see some of the girls hitting Usami's back just so the man would move off of Io. And it angered Misaki inside. Putting more fire into his anger and envy, Misaki pushed himself harder towards the two. He didn't even care if his feet got stepped on or his arms got scratched by the long fingernails of the fangirls.

By some sort of miracle, or just Misaki's determination, he reached the two after almost being trampled by the crazy fangirls. The police started arriving, but they couldn't just make a move since the fans were mostly girls, and mostly still underaged. They were also in a tight spot.

Almost out of breath, Misaki crawled beside Io. The already drained Misaki tugged on Io's polo making the young man look down. Io and Usami looked so surprised that they were rendered speechless at first.

"Takahashi?!" Io gasped. "How did you got in here?"

"That's," Misaki was still running after his breath. "That's not important," Misaki then looked up at the still shocked face of Usami looking down on him. If Misaki could only see his face, everyone would be shocked. His healing bruise had a lot of scratches that some were already bleeding.

Misaki knew this was where his real job starts but in truth, Misaki wasn't driven to go save Io, but just by the want to stop the stupid fangirls hitting his Usagi-san just to get into Io.

"Usag~Usami-sama, please take Io away, I'll stay here and buy time for the both of you to get away."

The man grunted at the increasing force he was getting from his back then looked down on the two young men crouching below him. "That is something I cannot do," he hissed.

Misaki smiled, happy his Usagi-san just wouldn't let him be alone in the middle of the crazy mob but he was already determined. The cap he was wearing ealier that he had to take off and hold in one hand was already sweaty from the sweat in his hand but he stuck it anyway on Io's head.

Io looked disgusted but didn't say anything. It was the only time Usami Akihiko realized that Io and Misaki was wearing the same thing.

"Don't tell me..." Usami didn't have to voice out what he was thinking. It was as bright and clear as the day what Misaki's job for the day was. Io's double.

"Usami-sama, Io, please go. I'll just stay here and crouch down until you two get into the other side where the team is."

They couldn't almost hear each other. All the space was filled with the fans screaming it hurt their ears.

Due to heat and the building up stress, Io suddenly started feeling dizzy. He already lost his color and it worried Usami that Io might suffocate from lack of fresh air. And seeing the determination Misaki had in his eyes, Usami slowly pulled Io up. He didn't want to leave Misaki, but Io was looking bad.

Usami had no choice but to choose.

Both of them crouching low while Misaki stood for everyone to notice, Usami helped Io get away.

Misaki was facing the tree, burrying his forehead against the hard and rough trunk. The fans didn't care about the tall man or the guy that looked sick wearing a cap. All they wanted was the guy wearing that dark polo with chocolate hair with his back at them. And the moment Misaki felt Usami Akihiko was gone from shielding him, he started feeling the heavy hands of Io's fangirls.

He started wondering how scary fangirls were. How could they treat their beloved artist like that with no respect? Perhaps they were just too happy and excited that it turned them into monsters.

He held on tightly on the tree, not lifting his face for the people to still believe he was Io.

"Go farther, go farther..." Misaki chanted in his mind, stopping himself from yelling from the pain.

Usami and Io were still very close from the tree. He could sense it.

And then there was something hot on his side.

His ears started buzzing.

Misaki thought it was only a strong hit from a fan. But the searing hotness started crawling on all his left side.

His eyes suddenly felt so heavy as he slowly slid down from where he was standing.

And then there was screaming everywhere.

When Usami turned to look back, still giving Io support to stand, it was only Misaki on the ground, with a knife on his side.

* * *

**Chapter end notes:**

yehey! lol..thank you for reading this chapter! sorry for the little wait there. it's a weekday and that means busy day! buwahahaha...but I am glad I was able write this. I slept first when I arrived home and alarmed my phone at 9 pm. Guess what! I woke at 12:00! buwahahaha and now it's 5 am. whoohoo...i seriously have to go back to sleep..pfft...

^^thank you for the support and the GUESTS as well! thank you!

FIY:

Harajuku, aside from being a sense of fashion in Japan (mixed styles of all gothic stuff, visual kei and others) is also a place where people gather. This place is located in Shibuya and aside from being near some major spots , it is also a Fashion and shopping district that's why there are always a lot of people in this area.^^  
You'd see a lot of cosplayers here.

THANK YOU AGAIN..  
-shuusetsu


	9. Flowers of Disturbance

_**Guests and everyone, thank you for the continuous support!**_

* * *

**Flowers of disturbance**

* * *

_"What's happening? Why are they looking at me with eyes like that?"_

Everything was silent. The heat, the exhaustion, the frustration; everything dissolved in an instant.

Through his half-closed eyes, Misaki stared at the blinding brightness of the sky. He couldn't even feel if he was lying on the rough pavement, or floating or standing. The only thing clear to him was he was getting so sleepy. So sleepy like he could rest forever.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

"MOVE!"

_That's Usagi-san's voice...why's he so angry?_

With not an ounce of energy to roam his gaze or turn his head, Misaki felt cold hands cupping his cheeks. The sky was too bright, all he could make out was a dark silhouette of a man.

"Do not sleep! Can you hear me? Stay with me, Takahashi!"

"U-Usagi-san?" a voice barely a whisper.

Usami Akihiko stared in disbelief at the fading boy before him. He had never felt so cold in his entire life. It was scorching hot. His sweat dropping up to the tip of his nose, falling down to the hot pavement. Yet he was having goosebumps and he was shivering at the sight of blood pooling under the boy's body. It was no doubt a nightmare at daytime.

_Ah...it's Usagi-san indeed._

Burning with anger and frustration, Usami noticed Misaki's lips moving. Perhaps it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. But no, they were indeed moving like he was saying something.

Breathing hard as if Usami Akihiko was the one being in pain rather than Misaki who completely looked like he was feeling nothing, the silverhaired man wet from his own sweat leaned closer. He moved his ears towards Misaki's silent words. And Usami Akihiko felt like he could kill. Kill whoever the damn bastard did this to this kind hearted boy. Kill himself for allowing this to happen when he was there.

He was a man who never cried if he got hurt. If someone else got hurt, he couldn't care less. But his eyes were surprisingly hot at that time. And his throat hurt so much. He didn't hear the usual bright voice, it was only from a weak sound of breathing that Usami Akihiko heard the words that broke his heart.

"For tomorrow...I wish I could go...but..."

Usagi-san's shocked face was the last thing that Misaki brought with him together in the ocean of darkness.

* * *

As clear as the sky, Usami Akihiko had gone mad. There was no other explanation for it. He kept on cursing and swearing as the ambulance that took damned ten minutes dash into the traffic towards the hospital nearest to the area.

All the while, Io was sitting beside Usami. Holding one bloody, motionless hand of Misaki, crying. "Takahashi...God...why..."

Usami Akihiko's gaze was fixed towards the road. His teeth clashing, his hands in a painful ball of fists, he prayed to all the dieties he could think of that Misaki should better get out of this mishap alive.

_"If something were to happen, I swear I'll look for that crazy bastard even if I have to use all my fortune..."_

At the thought, Usami Akihiko's eyes widened in shock. Who was Takahashi Misaki for him to go as far as losing all his fortune? Pinching the bridge of his nose, Usami patted Io's shaking shoulders. The kid had been crying from when the medics brought Misaki inside the ambulance and hasn't stopped since then. He kept on weeping and now his face was already swollen.

"Akihiko-san, this is all my fault...my fault...my fault..." Io whispered, wiping his face with the back of his hands.

"It isn't. Don't put the blame on yourself."

Lavender eyes looked at the pathetic form of the kid beside him. Hair messed up, face red from crying, pale from shock and guilt, Io was also suffering. Usami could only rub his huge hands against Io's trembling back for support.

Brows meeting into a deep frown, Usami tried not to look at Misaki's face the entire time they were in the ambulance. Everytime he sees the unmoving figure of Misaki, the anger in him gets even deeper. And he couldn't understand why.

His jaws working, Usami threw a glance at Io.

_If it was Io, would I be as angry and worried like this?_

_Shit..._

The man gritted his teeth as he saw the emergency sign of the hospital.

He was surprised to know deep within him that he would also be worried and angry if it was Io on that stretcher. But he knew he wouldn't be this hurt. He wouldn't be feeling this pain like a part of him was also being killed.

* * *

"_...At exactly 1:40 in the afternoon here in the parking lot of Yoyogi park, the pop Idol Io had been involved in an accident..."_

Lazy hands that had been flipping aimlessly channel through channel stopped at a certain flash report. His bored eyes watched the video of the sea of fans being pushed back by the police force while an ambulance was getting in. He could see some of the faces of the girls crying.

"Worried that their idol is dead?" the guy chuckled sarcastically. He couldn't care less if Io whatever died or something.

He was about to change into another channel when his hand froze in the air. A smile formed in his thin lips. "Now isn't this interesting?"

The video panned closer to a silver haired man, obviously worried on the boy lying on his back in the middle of the scorching heat.

_"...as of the moment, the police force is still searching for the culprit who tried to kill Io...unfortunately, a coworker had been stabbed instead. We do not know yet the name of the victim. According to the girls around the area, they didn't see anyone suspicious around the time they were trying to get to the pop icon. Before they knew it, this poor boy collapsed on the ground. He was stabbed by a regular kitchen knife. And as you can see, the medics are carefully carrying the body into the vehicle..."_

The camera focused from Io's pale face, crying his eyes out towards the bloody figure on the stretcher. Ijuuin Kyo almost dropped the remote control from his hand when the video showed him a familiar face he just saw recently.

"That kid?" he frowned, standing from his black sofa, he walked towards his huge flat screen TV. His eyes were fixed at the pale, innocent face as he fished his phone from his pocket. Pressing his number one speed dial, it only took one ring before the other line answered.

"Yes?"

"Fuji, get me information about the boy that got stabbed. The one in the news about Io."

"Ha? Why?"

"Just do it."

The other line hung up, the news showed the leaving ambulance, the siren filling his room. He hoped genuinely that the boy whoever he was will be saved. More so that his interest just got more intense.

* * *

The white room and the chirping bird outside of it made Usami Akihiko feel like he was in a tragic film. He watched intently the rising of Misaki's chest as the kid breath in and out with the help of a breathing machine. The sight was already painful to look at yet he stared at the body before him with all focus.

_"Why the hell isn't he being placed in the Intensive Care Unit!?"_ Usami remembered himself screaming his guts out after waiting outside the operating room for 2 hours.

The doctor who seemed not at all tired from the operation he just did smiled professionally. _"The wound isn't that serious Sir. We did a mini laparotomy though. Luckily there were no serious damage inflicted on the boy's intestines and blood vessels. The operation is successful. 8 days to 2 weeks and he could be released from the hospital."_

Io who was standing beside him almost fainted hearing the words intestines and vessels. The stylist Usami talked to when he was looking for Misaki was there as well. Surprisingly Riki and the other higher-ups of Zone Management wasn't there. They only sent Riki's secretary, a thin woman with thick glasses to look after Io and gather some news about the boy's condition and it infuriated Usami.

_"NOT SERIOUS?"_ Usami repeated in a sarcastic tone. He was standing like a mad man with his expensive polo shirt drenced with Misaki's blood. _"After all those blood loss?"_

Patiently, the doctor explained that they already performed a blood transfusion and that the kid was safe. That they have nothing to worry about. But the more Usami was told not to worry, the more he got anxious.

_"Surprisingly though, the boy is already awake which is very rare. I almost forgot that the patient was looking for a certain guy?"_

The doctor closed his eyes. _"Ah...right...who's Arisaka Hirose-san here?"_

In all honestly, Usami Akihiko thought it would be him.

Io, the secretary of Riki and Usami darted their eyes at the longhaired guy still holding a brush. Arisaka was also surprised to have his name mentioned. With a confused face, he raised his hand with the brush and walked slowly towards the doctor.

"I'm Arisaka."

With a certain irritation that Usami didn't want to admit, he watched the funny guy walk into Misaki's room. He watched the guy's every move through the clear glass of the door that allowed everyone to see what was going on inside the white room. His brow twitched at the hand that brushed the boy's forehead and the weak smile the boy gave in return.

The man smiled worriedly at Misaki. Usami could clearly see how close the two were. It took him a ton of strenght to stop himself from breaking open the door and pull the guy away from Misaki when Arisaka lowered his head towards Misaki's face. Usami knew he was acting funny. But he just couldn't help but feel protective.

_"Yes, that kid saved my life so I am just feeling the need to return the favor..."_ Usami remembered convincing himself.

He then realized that Misaki was telling Arisaka something through the mask on his face that was why the weird looking man had lowered his face to listen to Misaki. After about ten minutes of talking, Arisaka brushed his lips on Misaki's forehead and went out the room.

_"Wh-what did he say?"_ Io asked the moment Arisaka stepped out the room.

Arisaka was irritated at Io from the very start so he didn't answer the question and he just ignored him. The man without a word left Io and Usami wondering what the almost got killed Misaki said.

* * *

Nobody told him to look after Misaki peacefully sleeping on his bed. He asked Io for Misaki's family but the kid knew nothing about them. When he tried calling Zone Management, nobody was answering. He told himself he just couldn't leave an injured person alone. And so it has been two hours already and he hasn't moved an inch from where he was sitting. He just watched Misaki in his sleep, wondering if the boy could feel pain behind the peaceful face he had on.

A knock from the door and Usami darted his eyes towards it. There was Io standing sadly carrying two cups of steaming coffee in both hands. Slowly, he walked towards where Usami was sitting and extended the other cup of coffee to the man.

"I'm glad Takahashi's safe."

The man still in his shirt with Misaki's dried blood held on to the cup and looked at Misaki's face sadly. "Barely safe. He barely made it."

Io took a sip and looked at the clock hanging on the wall. It said 5. "Akihiko-san, I have to go back to Zone and see what is going on with the investigation. Are you sure you will be alright in here alone?"

"Yes I am fine."

Io rested his hand on Usami's shoulder and looked directly at the tired lavender eyes. "I'll come back here and tell you the progress. Don't exhaust yourself okay?"

Usami smiled. He lifted his hand to touch Io's hand on his shoulder and squeezed them. '"You're a good kid Io. Misaki's blessed to have you as a friend."

A little shocked at what he heard, Io threw a glance at the sleeping body then smiled back at Usami, leaving the man with not saying anything more.

"Friend?" Io repeated at the back of his mind. In all honestly, he never thought of Misaki as a friend. But he would never want to hurt others seriously as well. Io left the room with a worried look on his face. He didn't want to leave Usami with Takahashi alone, but he got a lot of questions to ask his manager Riki-san.

* * *

The whole of the white room had become orange. The walls, the white blanket on Misaki's body, the bed, the floor, even Misaki's face was hinted with the faint shade of orange from the setting sun.

It was only by staring at the young boy's face that Usami Akihiko realized how he'd been being drawn back to where he started building up his dreams. In Okinawa. Where ten years ago, when he finally decided giving up his dreams, a boy so much younger than him gathered them and pieced it back together for him. He was almost certain Misaki was giving off the same refreshing feel, like the gentle breeze and peaceful air where he used to write his first songs at the back of that small shrine.

_But Io._..Usami contradicted in his mind.

A groan barely escaped Misaki's mouth. Slowly, the still weak boy opened his eyes and saw the ceiling glaring at him.

"Takahashi-kun?" Usami gasped. He could feel the electricity of shock running through his spine the moment Misaki had opened his eyes. The usual hue of green was almost pinkish from the sun.

He started standing up to go to the phone beside Misaki's bed to call for a nurse but stopped midway.

"Usagi-san. Why are you here?" come the weak voice being muffled by the mask used to stabilize his breathing.

_Why am I here?_ Usami even had to ask himself that question.

"Do you feel pain anywhere?"

Misaki closed his eyes and exhaled. Usami watched Misaki, he was watching every move, guarding every expression of the boy before him. Which was something very rare even for him.

"I feel fat."

Usami had to stare at Misaki's closed eyes to get what the boy was saying. His eyes then saw Misaki's hand tapping lightly his left side. Pertaining to the numbness the anesthesia was giving off.

"That's the anesthesia working on you," Usami said while smiling.

Misaki chuckled softly. "I couldn't feel a thing. It's like I don't have legs..."

Usami's brows met into a frown as he came to realize the tears forming at the corners of Misaki's eyes. "What's wrong?"

_Is this how Nii-chan feels? This is scary..._

All attention at Misaki, Usami brushed Misaki's hair back from his face. "Hey...why are you crying?"

"Usagi-san..." the boy opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "I feel sad that I can't go with you tomorrow. I heard I have to stay here for a while..."

The man leaned closer. He was about to kiss Misaki's forehead. And brush away those tears, but Usami froze. _Why the hell?_ He just then pretended to fix the pillow under Misaki's head.

"Silly. That can wait. For now worry about going back to health."

His eyes was getting heavier by the second. Misaki raised a hand trying to reach his Usagi-san. "If this is a dream...I wish...Usagi-san would somehow, remember me..."

"...?" the man grabbed the hand so much smaller than his and squeezed it gently. "Remember...?"

"You look tired Usagi-san, you should rest..." was the last words Misaki uttered before falling back into a deep sleep. In Misaki's mind, it was just a blurry dream of having the man watch him while he sleep.

Smiling bitterly, Usami Akihiko placed the hand back on Misaki's side. He sighed and turned his head towards the window and the now dark sky. "It was you who got stabbed but you still worry about others. You're an idiot...Misaki."

* * *

Having his right-hand man send clean clothes, Usami Akihiko was already feeling a little tidier. He was even surprised to see his reflection through the mirrors of the hospital's rest room. He had never looked so uncomposed before.

When he reached Misaki's room after changing into clean clothes, both Usami and Arisaka stared at one another in complete surprise.

Arisaka had his hair now in a low ponytail, and he was leaning down on Misaki when Usami entered the room. But Arisaka just brushed Usami off like it was normal whatever he was doing.

Silently, Usami walked closer to the bed. The room seemed a little too cramped to be together with the Arisaka guy, still remembering that it was this man's name Misaki asked for the moment he regained consciousness.

Long fingers touched the sides of Misaki's face. Arisaka had been inserting earphones to the boy's ears.

"You're still here? I thought you already went home. It's nine in the evening after all, " Arisaka muttered not lifting his gaze towards Usami. He was making sure the earphones won't fall off from Misaki's ears.

Usami stood at the other side of the bed, watching whatever Arisaka was doing. He noticed two bags on the chair where he was sitting earlier. His eyes narrowed again at the hands that tugged the hospital robe tighter on Misaki. After Arisaka was sure that the earphones were set, he pressed the small button on the portable CD player and then rummaged into one of the bags.

"Well, I might as well know who you are," the stylist continued while busying himself with the bag.

Crossing his arms against his chest, Usami's heart, for some reason skidded when he caught Misaki's smiling a little in his sleep. He then cleared his mind and looked at Arisaka.

"Who I am is not important. You, who are you?"

"Huh?" Arisaka asked raising his head from what he was doing. "I thought you heard my name before. I'm Arisaka."

Usami frowned. That wasn't what he meant.

"If you don't want to tell me your name it's fine with me. I am just curious why someone would pour so much time to someone not related to them. Right Mister?"

Pulling the other chair at the other corner of the room, Usami sat on it and watched Arisaka take off some clothes from the bag and placed it on the end of the bed. They were clearly Misaki's size.

"You? What are you to Takahashi-kun then?" Fuck the question Usami thought he sounded like a jealous man over a lover.

A soft laughter escaped Arisaka's mouth as he darted his gaze on Misaki's smiling, sleeping face. "Me? I am his trustworthy friend," _Or his errand boy._ "That's what I am."

_This idiot even asked me to tell his brother not to worry after he just got himself into an operation. I hate that side of him. He's like an untainted angel or something..._

"I see..." Usami mumbled.

There was a long silence between the two men who just stared both at Misaki who was peacefully sleeping in his dream land.

Finally unable to surpress the question lingering inside Usami Akihiko's mind, the man crossed his legs and then looked at Arisaka who was sitting at the other side of the bed.

"Why did you bring those stuff here? That player too. He should rest completely to heal faster."

Some of the strands of his hair fell on his face he had to brush them away before eyeing the silverhaired man across him. Arisaka smiled then sighed.

"This?" Arisaka pointed at the CD player playing. "This is that idiot's request."

"Ha?"

Arisaka pointed at the green bag beside the black bag he had placed at the corner of the room. There was no other place to put them so he placed them on the floor. Looking like he was amused himself, Arisaka propped his head on one of his hands, his elbow on his knees.

"You see that bag over there? It's Misaki's CD collection. It was one of his requests when he called me earlier. I always scold this brat but I end up following his whims anyway."

Now intrigued, Usami threw a glance at the CD player then at Misaki's face. "He likes music I see. Too bad he can't sing," Usami had mumbled the last sentence more for himself but Arisaka still heard it.

"Where'd you get that? Misaki sings alright."

_There again...first name basis_. "Takahashi-kun said so himself."

Arisaka looked irritated. He was one of the few persons who knew about Io and Misaki's set-up. And he was pissed up to the bottom of hell about it. "Yeah...yeah...complicated reasons."

"He can't sing for complicated reasons?" Usami pressed on.

Arisaka puffed his cheeks then scratched his head. "Trust me, you'd just get irritated to death."

Little did Arisaka know that he was talking to the person Misaki had been telling him about the "Nii-san" who inspired him to be a singer. Only that he ended becoming a shadow singer instead and not like what he really aimed to be.

Sensing that Arisaka wouldn't say more about that "complicated thing", Usami fell silent once again. He didn't know for how long he'd been staring at Misaki that night. But he got pulled back into the reality that he was not alone when Arisaka stood from his seat stretching out.

"You, you won't be leaving Misaki for tonight I assume?"

Usami just looked at the man who was fixing his crinkled yellow shirt. "I have to go home to feed my dogs. I'll be back in the morning."

The two didn't say goodbyes or anything. Usami just looked at Misaki, while Arisaka moved out the room. Though they were not talking that much, there was already a bond between them. A bond of two people that formed from wanting to look after the sleeping Misaki on that bed.

* * *

Usami was feeling a little sleepy. It was one in the morning. The silence of the room, Misaki's breathing, it was making him so sleepy but he didn't even want to leave that room. He yawned then started pacing the room silently. He decided he'd take Misaki to their hospital instead once the doctor allowed it.

Slowly walking around the room, Usami noticed the green bag slightly opened. The bag which the Arisaka guy said contained Misaki's CD collection. He wasn't really the curious type, but he needed something to busy himself with. And so, getting on one of his knees, he peeked through the bag.

His frown on his face got deeper and deeper as he took grab of the CD cases. They were all still intact with not a scratch on them. What was more intriguing was that most of the CDs in that bag was his compositions way back then.

Usami Akihiko threw a sad look towards Misaki's bed. He was feeling guilty and bad and he fully regret now why he didn't give Misaki an authograph when the kid asked for one the first day they met each other. The boy wasn't joking when he said he was his fan.

_"You have been so cruel,_" Usami whispered to himself. Who would have thought that that same person asking for a simple authograph before would save his life? And who would even have thought that him, who was an apathetic bastard would lose his precious sleep worrying about a certain person?

"Nnnnn..."

In an instant, Usami's drowsiness left him when he heard Misaki stir on his bed. He left the bag and went straight to the bed wondering what could Misaki be wanting.

"Taka~" Usami looked at the door first. Just for that time, Usami wanted to do what Arisaka's been doing. "Misaki?"

Usami couldn't hide the cold he felt just by uttering the name. It sounded strangely sweet.

"What's wrong?"

But Misaki just frowned like his beautiful dream had been interrupted.

His eyes watched Misaki's face closely. The bruise on his left cheek was still there, and there were new scratches on them. Usami thought how could a young man be followed by so much bad luck despite being kind to an impossible extent.

Then the player caught Usami's attention. The usual yellow light blinking was gone. When he picked it up, he realized the battery life was already drained and it needed to be charged once again to be used.

"We have no choice...it's out of battery..." Usami muttered like Misaki could hear and slowly removed the earphones from the boy's ears. He rolled the long green wires and placed them on the bed side table carefully.

Usami was bothered. Misaki's head kept on turning on either side grunting. _Was he in pain? What is it?_

Misaki almost knocked the CD player off the bed onto the floor when his hand suddenly moved.

Sighing in frustration because of not knowing what to do, Usami took the player in his hand and then looked at Misaki. "I'll see if the charger is in the bag..." he muttered though he didn't see one when he was looking into that green bag earlier. He decided he'd look for it. He was about to stand from his seat when he noticed a certain CD case peeking out almost hidden under Misaki's pillow. He gently pulled it out and stared at it with his heart beating fast it was like running in a race.

That CD brought back one of his few happy memories of his younger days. The CD of Yiruma with the main piece as River flows in You.

"You're listening to this?" Usami whispered in belwilderment.

But Misaki just turned his head sideways.

"Why do you always make me remember those days?" Usami muttered, running his long fingers on Misaki's messy hair from tossing and turning. "You're lucky. I know this song by heart..."

There in the middle of the night, Usami Akihiko once again hummed that piece of music. He was sitting on Misaki's bed while his fingers danced gently on Misaki's soft locks. Misaki's frown disappeared and the calm expression came back. It encouraged Usami to keep going. Humming the sweet, sad song while closing his eyes, picturing himself back into the peaceful clearing with him being ten years younger once again. Together with a small kid looking at him with bright, excited eyes as the wind softly ruffled their hairs.

* * *

Io was about to open the door. He took a while to come back because he had an argument with his manager. But he froze by the door when he heard Usami Akihiko humming the same song Misaki used to hum everytime. His feeling that the two had more between them in their past was growing. And his fear of being left out was increasing.

He wasn't that evil. But he changed his mind and instead stepped back. He didn't want to lose Usami Akihiko. He would have to check Misaki's audition video three months ago back in Zone management.

* * *

Usami didn't realize he fell asleep in that state. But when he opened his eyes, Arisaka was standing at the end of Misaki's bed with a huge bouquet of familiar flowers in hand. The sun surprisingly destructive.

"Wow...you did stay until morning," Arisaka said, hiding his amusement.

Grunting, Usami looked first at Misaki. He was still sleeping, with a peaceful expression thankfully.

He slowly moved out of the bed and ran his hands on his face, waking his nerves up. He blinked a couple of times to adjust his eyes at the bright morning. When he was finally done, he looked at the flowers the guy now who had his hair in dreadlocks and was wearing an eye hurting neon orange shirt was carrying.

"Someone gave this to me for Misaki and I am really surprised this punk knew such a prominent name," Arisaka muttered tugging at the small piece of scented paper attached on it.

"Ha? Prominent name?"

Walking towards the bed side table where an empty vase was, Arisaka placed the flowers into it like he was used to doing something like that. "Yup...the tag said...uhm..." Arisaka again looked at the paper. "Get well soon Takahashi Misaki. I hope to know you more. BlackMedly."

At the mention of the name, Usami's blood boiled in anger suddenly.

"How come our Misaki-chan know one of the biggest composers right now? How did he even know Misaki?" Arisaka asked softly finishing his flower arrangement.

Looking distastefully at the flowers, Usami grunted. The flower that was sent didn't even mean 'get well soon'.

Arisaka might not know what he was holding but Usami knew and it didn't make him any happier to know that such flowers came from _him_.

Those beautiful flowers were called 'Gladiolus'.

A flower that says the recipient had pierced the sender's heart. A flower that symbolizes interest and perhaps love.

"Who knows?" Usami Akihiko hissed, feeling himself getting so irritated early in the morning. _"What's he up to?"_

* * *

**_chapter end notes:_**

yahoo! yehey! BANZAIIIII! i couldn;t believe i'm done with this update.! YESSSSSSSSS...I FEEL LIKE I JUST ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING HUGE! BUWAHAHAHA

FYI:

**Laparotomy** is opening up your abdomen, exposing your intestines and all, but it depends how serious the injury is.^^

ps. **TORN CANVAS** WILL BE UPDATED VERY SOON. MAYBE THE NEXT DAY. LOL..SORRY FOR THOSE WHO ARE FOLLOWING THAT FIC TOO. I JUST REALLY NEED TO HAVE 36 HOURS IN A DAY TO BE ABLE TO UPDATE THEM^^

THANK YOU FOR THE WARM REVIEWS AND SUPPORT. YOU'RE ALL AWESOME GUYS! GANBATTE MINNA-SAN!  
-==SHUUSETSU


	10. Phantom

_Eh...I WILL NEVER GROW TIRED OF TELLING YOU GUYS THAT I LOVE YOU! HAHAHA...THANKS FOR YOUR PRECIOUS TIMES!。・ﾟﾟ･__(≧д≦)･ﾟﾟ･｡。・ﾟﾟ･__(≧д≦)･ﾟﾟ･｡_

_chappy ten and eleven are the same...it's just that there seem to be a problem of some sort...lol_

* * *

**Phantom**

* * *

He was sure that someone was calling his name softly. His closed eyes could sense something nostalgic. His nose searching for that sweetness. And his ears wanted more of that lullaby filling his soul.

Warm. That was what Misaki thought as he continued his journey onto the clouds. They gently carried him forward. Towards something bright and secured. He was so sure that if he raised his hands above him, there would be someone to grasp them tightly.

And so, breathing in, Misaki lifted his right hand into the white space. He waited. He waited for the hand. But nothing came.

He woke up with his hand in the air. A thin clear tube attatched on his wrist. And when he looked around, he was alone in that unfamiliar, white room. No one beside him to ask if he was fine. Nobody to smile at him after he opened his eyes.

He was expecting otherwise. His dream had been so real that he thought he could carry it out from his imagination.

* * *

Usami Akihiko had never left Misaki's side the entire time he was there. And he wasn't intending to. And yet, his plans changed by just a simple phone call.

He stood quietly from his chair and went towards the window. The sun was already giving off its hot rays, the birds feeding on to the crumbs the children had tossed from their rooms.

"Yes?"

_"Good morning Usami-san. This is Riki of Zone Management. I am really sorry I wasn't able to answer your calls yesterday. The entire Zone was busy with facing the media about what happened at the fans day. I hope you understand."_

The man's jaws started working as he gripped his phone tighter. "It's fine."

_"Ah-I just called because you might want to know about this."_

The birds that was calmly eating on the ground started flying off one by one into the sky. And they completely disappeared behind the other hospital buildings surrounding the area. Usami waited for them to come back but they didn't. That was the time he replied a curt "what" before turning his head to look at the still sleeping boy on the bed across him.

_"About Io..."_

"Io? Why, is there something wrong?" Usami asked, a little worried now. He remembered the kid told him he'd come back, but he didn't. He just thought that perhaps Io was caught in some important matter so he didn't check on him anymore.

_"We rushed him to the hospital near Zone just now. The only thing he said was he wanted to help look after Misaki, but he fainted and fell on the stairs. He injured his leg, "_ there was a pause as if the man was emphasizing something._ "He said not to tell you because he doesn't want you to worry. But I think you should know anyway."_

Usami's feet started moving towards the door. Not saying any thanks to Riki, he hung up and inserted the phone back into his pocket. He was all ready to go when he froze by the door just as he was about to turn the knob.

He turned his gaze at Misaki's face for a while. He didn't want to leave. But he just couldn't ignore Io as well. He'd been with Misaki the entire night and nothing wrong had happened. It should be fine, he thought.

Moving towards Misaki's bed first before leaving, he fixed the pillow under Misaki's head and pushed back some of the strands that was on the boy's forehead.

"Misaki? Misaki?" he called in a very soft voice. "I'll be back..." he whispered as he looked at Misaki's calm expression before finally leaving the room and closing the door gently.

* * *

"I really hate hospitals..." Misaki whispered to himself as he turned his head towards the single window in that room.

He had spent most of the year going in and out of the hospital because of his brother. But he still hated it. The smell was the main reason. Every hospital reek of death and sickness that couldn't be hidden by the strong scent of cleansers and alcohol. Visiting in a hospital was fine. He had been used to it. But being the patient himself was something else.

"I don't want to be alone in a hospital...Nii-chan..." was his lonely words only the flowers set in a vase heard it. And not long after that, a young nurse entered his room to check on him and feed him.

The young lady gently took Misaki's arm for blood pressure. She had beed seriously looking at the readings when she started looking concerned for her patient that mid morning. And then she leaned closer.

"Hey...Takahashi-kun, why are you crying? Does something hurt?"

With closed eyes, Misaki shook his head slightly. He silently allowed the nurse to do whatever she had to do to keep him clean and fine.

* * *

Outside a private room, Riki-san was there pacing the hallway. Forwards, backwards, he was so agitated that it was pissing Arisaka off. The hallway of the third floor of some exclusive hospital was empty exept for the occasional nurses and doctors making their rounds at each of the rooms. The bright lighting was giving off a fake feeling of happiness and the clicking of Riki's shoes against the tiled, spotless floor was making the stylist soon to explode.

If he could choose, he would rather go to Misaki who was currently in some community hospital away from his brother. However, Riki had ordered him to stay just in case.

"In case of what? I am not a babysitter."

"Mind your tongue young man. The press would be here within an hour so there is someone who should at least make Io look presentable before the media," was Riki-san's reply with a frowning face he looked like a bulldog to Arisaka. Fat, small, ugly.

_"Ah, at least Misaki's not alone. That guy is there anyway...whoever he is.._." Arisaka thought to himself and he felt his jaw dropped suddenly seeing the man he was just thinking of appear not far from him.

Usami Akihiko was walking in fast yet firm strides towards them.

_"What the fuck?"_ Arisaka cursed following with his death gaze, the guy wearing a black polo which the sleeves had been rolled up to the elbows.

"How's Io?" Usami had asked.

Smiling broadly, the big man's reaction then changed into something worrisome. "Ah, I'm glad you came Usami-san. Io would definitely be glad."

Arisaka just stared at Usami's back as if drilling a hole on it.

Glancing at Arisaka, Usami then looked back at the short, fat guy before him.

"What did the doctor say about Io's condition?"

"The doctor is still inside," Riki-san answered, running a hand on his face. "I told him he should rest first but he insisted on going to Takahashi's hospital. Look what happened to him! He fainted instead!"

Not sitting on the seats fixed at the sides of the hallway, Usami remained standing with his back resting against the padded walls of the hallway. Riki-san kept on pacing. And Arisaka was just in a bad mood.

All three of them turned towards the door that opened where a man in his sixties appeared. He looked kind and gave off a fatherly air around him.

"Riki-san right?" the doctor confirmed. "The patient is fine. Just a minor foot injury. He's running a fever though. An after effect of his fall. Plus...I think the boy had some trauma. He was all jumpy and nervous the entire time. It's best to have him go into counselling. I've seen the news. He might have been very shocked and it just hit him at quiet a slow rate."

Arisaka rolled his eyes at the shit he was hearing. _"Trauma?_" he repeated inside his head_. "He wasn't even the one that got stabbed yet he was having a trauma? Come on...cut the crap Doc."_

* * *

"Akihiko-san?!" Io exclaimed the moment the composer appeared by the door of his hospital room.

His eyes wandered from the tall man, to his manager to his stylist. His happy gaze quickly faded and the young man looked away. Ashamed to show his foot being raised to promote blood flow.

Usami slowly walked towards the bed and patted Io on the head. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. You shouldn't have left Takahashi Akihiko-san."

Smiling gently, Usami sat on the red, soft chair at Io's bedside. "I'll keep you company for a while."

Io looked at Usami for a moment. He had so much to tell the composer but he just burried them inside him. The thought that it was him Usami Akihiko chose was enough. True. He was nervous and jumpy. But it wasn't because of some trauma or anything. The young man was still debating whether to do it or not. And seeing the gentle lavender eyes looking at him he finally had come to his conclusion.

_"I don't want to lose this attention. I don't want to lose him to Takahashi Misaki..."_

"Akihiko-san," Io began when Riki and the stylist went out of the room to get something. He was waiting for that opportunity. He was already lying, why not make full use of it? "If...if I told you that..." Io looked down on his fidgeting fingers. "...I like you...what would you do?"

Io remembered very clearly how the composer just stopped and froze in that sea of screaming people. How slowly he felt Usami's tight hold on him loosened as the silver haired man without a second thought left him standing there. He felt like he was standing on a time hole. Everything just stopped moving. Him, everyone, aside from Usami who had gone to the bleeding Misaki on the groud.

He had never felt so insecure towards anybody. But that moment, he deeply wished that it was really him that got stabbed. By that he would get all the man's attention.

He had felt like he was Usami's center of attention the past days, but after the hotel incident, Io felt like Misaki was slowly taking over the attention he craved.

He was worried. He was desperate. To have a lot of flings was his past time. But to have Usami Akihiko became his dream. If only into lying he could get what he wanted, then lying he would do.

"I know this is weird. Both of us are males...but when I fell down the stairs...your face flashed before me."

Usami just listened.

He may be lying about most of the stuff in his current life. But the tears he started shedding before the guy he liked were real. "Please, don't just like that voice," _Don't like Misaki.._. "Please like me instead...AKihiko-san, like_ me_."

* * *

Misaki didn't budge when he heard a soft knocking against the door. He just fixed his swolen eyes towards the window and watched the clouds pass by. Watched them change shape. And watched them dissolve. He didn't even notice the bouquet of Gladiolus on the table a little higher than his bed.

"Misa-nii!"

At the familiar voice, Misaki abruptly turned towards the door and hurt himself in the process. The anesthesia was starting to wear off. And every simple move he did sent him grimacing from pain.

Cheeks puffing, teary and blushing, Sora ran towards the side of Misaki's bed and sobbed loudly.

"Sora-chan? Why are you crying?" he asked, trying to pat the girl's head as he looked at the tall, blonde man that just entered his room.

"Sorry, I know you should be resting, but Sora had been wailing since yesterday after she saw you on the news. Sorry."

Misaki smiled and chuckled softly. The very act sending waves of pain on his entire left abdomen. But he didn't show any hint of what he was currently feeling. Not when Sora who was angry at him came crying worriedly for him.

"This is my fault because I got angry with you, isn't it? Misa-nii...I AM SO SORRY!" the girl cried, wetting Misaki's bed sheet.

The father walked towards his daughter and tried to lift her up from behind. "Sora-chan, baby you shouldn't be crying wildly in your Misa-nii's room. He needs rest and peace."

"No!" Misaki suddenly cut in._ I've had enough of that quietness_..."It's okay Sir. I am happy to see Sora-chan."

"I'm a bad girl. I'm so bad Misa-nii...get well sooooooooooooon. Pleeeeeeeeease!"

* * *

Finally calming down, the girl climbed up to the chair and sat like an obedient child. She promised her father she would behave while he was gone. He had some things to do at the reception area for the time being. And so leaving Misaki and Sora-chan alone, the two stared at each other's faces in a long while.

"You look so cute today Sora-chan. I'm smitten," Misaki tried to joke. But the girl wearing a simple one-cut white dress just smiled and leaned closer to touch his face. With her short fingers, she traced Misaki's forehead and nose and began sniffing again.

"Misa-nii you look awful."

"Ah-really? Sorry," Misaki started to wonder how awful was awful. Sora-chan was never the type of girl to exagerate when it came to her observations. At least that was what he had realized from the time they've been playmates.

"I promise Sora-chan won't insist anymore what Misa-nii doesn't want me to insist. I'd never bother you ever again. So please get off this bed tomorrow okay?"

Wanting to laugh but couldn't, Misaki gazed at the pure, blue eyes staring at him with such worry. A liar like himself doesn't deserve this girl's kindness.

"Sora-chan, I'm sorry that Misa-nii lied back then. I just have a very strong reason to lie. But I didn't want to hurt you or anyone."

The girl bit her bottom lip, as if she was thinking if she should say whatever was in her mind or not. "Misa-nii. You once told me lying is bad. But why? Why is that Io shrimp using your voice? Why are you lying to Aki-chan?"

The last question was like an arrow that plunged into his chest. He could just smile weakly while averting his emerald eyes from the huge blue eyes that were expecting an answer.

"Soon I'll tell you why Misa-nii is lying. But for now, just remember Misa-nii doesn't want to lie himself."

"Misa-nii, whether you want to lie or not, you are still lying," Sora looked and sounded so mature that Misaki was rendered speechless. "If Aki-chan learns it, he'd be very hurt and wouldn't want to be friends with you anymore. Aki-chan told me that trust is one of the hardest things to put back once its broken. Misa-nii, Sora-chan won't mention it to anyone. No one believes in me anyway. But Misa-nii I don't want you and Aki-chan be enemies. Don't lie anymore?"

Tired, Misaki smiled weakly. There was no winning against a child.

"Listen to me, okay?" Misaki pushed himself a little upwards to comfortably look at the girl. "Misa-nii had been doing a lot of thinking. Maybe on my birthday, I'd try to be more honest..."

"Your birthday? But Misa-nii...isn't it the sooner the better?"

Or if Sora-chan was a little more mature, she could have meant 'the first one to make the move usually wins and the one that waits, gets cornered'.

* * *

Hidori was carrying in an envelope some paper works from the hospital where Misaki was currently staying. He was trying to call his friend Usami Akihiko to give some update about how he already paid the bills and worked on Misaki's transfer to a private hospital just like what the silver-haired man asked for him to do. But he couldn't get through the man's phone.

"Ah, I'll just tell him personally then when he comes back," Hidori noted mentally.

He walked while thinking why there were so many people that were acquainted to them being brought to the hospital. Misaki, then Io from the flash reports he'd seen.

Whistling, Hidori then made a left turn at the Wing B of the hospital to see if Misaki was still alive being pestered by his daughter. Coming nearer to the room, he noticed there was someone standing by the door of Misaki's room.

"It couldn't be Usami..." Hidori increased his pace.

He couldn't hide the scowl on his face that formed when he came face to face with the man. Hidori glanced first at the door, which was left ajar. He thought he had shut it properly. He could even hear his daughter singing from inside the room. And then he looked at Ijuuin Kyo's smiling face at him.

"What are you doing snooping off here? Ijuuin?"

The dark-haired man looked at the door for a moment then back at Hidori. "You're daughter is as lovable as ever."

"I know, you don't have to tell me. What are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed to visit an acquaintance?" Ijuuin asked as he crossed his arms across his chest.

Narrowing his eyes, Hidori glanced at the glass panel where he could see Misaki patting his daughter's head. "Acquaintance of Takahashi-kun?"

"Yup," Ijuuin answered merrily.

"If that's the case why are you outside? Just go in already."

Ijuuin who was as tall as the pissed blonde walked passed him waiving his hand lazily in the air. "I don't want to ruin the bonding of those two cute creatures. Maybe next time."

Hidori followed Ijuuin with his gaze. He wasn't really comfortable being around that guy. Something felt so sly about him. And when Ijuuin's form made a turn and was gone, that was the only time Hidori entered Misaki's room, plastering a face that as cool as ever.

* * *

Ijuuin walked slowly as if he was taking a leisurely walk in a park. He came with just the want to see the boy who criticized him and checked if he was doing fine. Feeling the hot rays of the sun as he trudged towards his car in the parking lot, he looked up at one of the windows of the hospital building. Sure it was Misaki's room.

"Who would have thought that I'd bring home an interesting secret with me?"

Ijuuin entered his car and quickly drove off just like how phantoms disappeare after realizing something interesting. However, these kind of phantoms come back to get that interesting thing after careful planning.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

**hello everyone! thank you for your kind words! you might notice that this chapter is a little shorter compared to the usual over 4k words...lol...that's what happens when i try to update two stories! buwahahah forgive me..**_.but you girl..you know yourself...you've been reading my mind! hahaha_

** (ﾉ****´-ω-)ﾉ⌒ ｷﾀ━━━****(^∀^)━━━!**

_-shuusetsu_


	11. Sonata for Two

**yoh minna! i am sorry for the delay of this chappy. but i hope this one would make it up to you! thank you already in advance for your time you spend with this fic!~~~**

* * *

**SONATA FOR TWO**

* * *

Misaki found himself staring at the window once again when his little visitor and her father finally left. When he looked at the round clock against the white wall that was blinding him, it said 3 pm. He hadn't even spent 36 hours inside the four corners of that cage like room but he could already feel the boredom sinking into him. He was so used to running all around the place that being stuck, not being able to move freely at that was making him impatient.

Furrowing his brows, Misaki tried twisting his body a little to the side. He really wanted to see if he could at least stand and walk towards the window. A painful gasp escaped his mouth though. He slumped back on his bed, his hand on his wound.

"Aww...I think it opened again..." he frantically lifted his hospital gown to check his side. Thankfully there was no sign of blood or his wound eating the bandage into the flesh. He shivered at the thought of a such gross idea.

Defeated, Misaki lay limply on the softness of the bed that at least provided comfort to his raw back. From all the lying he had been doing on it, he felt like it had gone numb as well. Staying two weeks like this, Misaki was so sure he'd go insane.

Closing his eyes, the boredom eating him, Misaki started uttering words that made no sense even to him. Just thoughts, words, phrases to fill his ears and distract him from the silence echoing in his eardrums.

"...simply a shadow..." he began. "...Your eyes I cannot borrow..." the boy smiled. They strangely rhymed perfectly with each other.

Enjoying his little game, Misaki licked his lips first and continued chanting in the world he just created. "...pass you by...breakdown and cry..."

When Arisaka entered Misaki's room carrying one large duffel bag, he found a Misaki on the bed with his hands on air. The boy's fingers moving as if playing an imaginary piano. And instead of interrupting the boy, Arisaka quietly waited by the door, until Misaki finished his very own concerto.

If Misaki could only jump off the bed due to surprise he would have done it after hearing a series of claps from the man very close to his heart. As if he almost had a heart attack, Misaki clutched his chest, pretending he was about to die. He got a light smack on the head instead from Arisaka.

"Silly. Do you feel uncomfortable? Do you want me to help you change that gown?" Arisaka asked while pulling his laptop out of his bag and Misaki's phone and CD player he had taken with him earlier so he can charge them.

"No thank you. I'm fine," Misaki answered while his eyes were looking at the laptop Arisaka was trying to set up. "Unless I smell bad?"

Arisaka sniffed and crinkled his nose. After a while he smiled at Misaki who started sniffing himself as well. "I'm just kidding, idiot! By the way, what was that you were doing when I arrived? A song?"

Beaming, the boredom he was feeling earlier all gone, Misaki excitedly leaned closer at his companion. "Arisaka-san, I think I just composed a song!"

"You think? Well, let's see how good that song of yours is," the man currently in dreadlocks challenged. Positioning himself on the chair like an expectator with his device on his lap.

"Eh...it's merely a song...just a few notes and some words on it."

"That's why let me hear it. I only heard la-la-la...na-na-na earlier. Besides maybe we could send it to that yearly music competition for amateurs? You can finally leave pathetic Zone if you win the contest."

Every year, when the season of autumn replaces the warmth of summer, a composing competition was being organized by a private organization to help aspiring talents make their way into the difficult but glamorous industry of music and entertainment. Contestants compose a song and they could find someone to sing it for them. Or they could sing their own piece themselves.

The Sonate Music Competition was considered to be the one of the most prestigious events because of its record of introducing personalities that became pillars of the music industry in Japan. The competition had given birth to the most looked up to composers and singers at the time. Sagao Aiko, BlackMedly and Usami Akihiko to name a few.

With a face of someone with no confidence, Misaki rolled his eyes at the funny idea his friend was saying. "Arisaka-san, people who enter that competition have proper music training. I only learned reading notes by self study. I don't know much about music at all."

Sensing the negativity circling around the green-eyed boy, Arisaka sighed. "Isn't that the best reason why you should enter? Not all people can play the piano just by ear."

"But~"

"Ah stop it!" Arisaka exclaimed as he waive his right hand in the air like shooing an insect. "Don't worry about the competition right now! I just mentioned it! Now go ahead and let me hear your piece. Hurry!"

Sighing, Misaki smiled weakly then relaxed his back. "Listen Arisaka-san this is not yet complete okay? So don't laugh!"

Nodding with a grin, a sign that he would probably end up teasing Misaki, he rested his head on his hand and went quiet.

Clearing his throat, Misaki barely whispered the words out of his mouth. The lyrics softly dancing with the music Misaki was imagining he was playing in the piano. Arisaka couldn't almost hear it but he shut his mouth and just focused.

"Why is it to you I am simply but a shadow?  
That even those eyes I may not borrow?  
Each time I would pass you by,  
Right there you make me want to break down and cry;  
I can barely accept that only there I can get,  
Though you know I like you the first time we met.  
Still someday may you hear my plea,  
Your sweet face more than staring back at me..."

And there was silence.

Arisaka who had closed his eyes, opened them wide disbelieving at Misaki.

"Why did you stop?!"

"I didn't stop. I told you it's not yet done!" Misaki answered defensively.

"That's it. You got one month before fall. Finish that song."

Running a hand on his messy hair, Misaki eyed the man in neon orange then chuckled. His side hurting but he kept on chuckling.

"You know Sonate Music Competition isn't the same as before. It became like a battle ground for the composers' proteges now you know. How can I join? Impossible..."

Smirking, Arisaka typed something on his laptop first before narrowing his eyes at his ever negative friend. "If you want to be a protege of your Usami Akihiko-sama, that's impossible," Arisaka paused for a moment. Remembering how shocked he was and irritated to learn that Usami Akihiko, the great composer who signed a contract with Io was the same guy who promised he would never leave Misaki's side yet that morning he came running to Io instead. He realized then why the man didn't say his name when he asked. He was a VIP. But to hell, he wouldn't ask for his autograph for crying out oud. He wanted to open the topic, but it felt somehow inappropriate since he knew how much Misaki adored the composer and yet for sure, Usami Akihiko might ask Io to join the competion as his protege. _Well good luck to him._ He just didn't want to point to Misaki the obvious.

"But...but..." Arisaka raised his index finger and waived them towards a boquet of purplish-pink flowers on a vase he arranged that morning. "...you still have an option."

"Huh?" Misaki's gaze followed where Arisaka was pointing.

"BlackMedley."

Misaki's jumbled brains tried to make out who BlackMedley was. And he gasped. Arisaka satisfied that his friend was already following him only to be disappointed.

"Why would BlackMedley even accept me? Besides I don't know that composer. And I am not fond of his music."

"Come on...don't lie with me you punk. Why would such a known name send you flowers if you're not friends with him?"

"Ha? I am friends with BlackMedley? I didn't know that..."

Wanting to slam his laptop on his friend's head, Arisaka calmed himself. "Haven't you even noticed these poor flowers? They were sent to you and they came from BlackMedley. Okay? Are you now back to Earth?"

Scratching his head, Misaki was still trying to remember if he met some prominent person the past few days. Like Usami Akihiko, BlackMedley was hiding his identity in public. How would he know? Maybe BlackMedley was the old man he helped in crossing the streets. Or she could be the hot headed woman who scowled at him when he suddenly pushed her forward inside the jampacked train. Or...

Squinting his eyes, the face of the guy who sounded like he wasn't taking Usami Akihiko seriously in a CD shop flashed in his hazy head. Remembering the face already irritated him and so he shook his head sideways frantically to erase the dark eyes looking at him from his memory.

"Honestly...I didn't know a stab on the abdomen can cause amnesia? Unless your brain isn't in your head?" Arisaka started pestering Misaki. "But in your stomach."

Misaki couldn't hide his smile. "Haha...very funny. By the way Arisaka -san why do you have your laptop with you?"

"I brought this for you. I know you. You might start climbing the walls due to boredom. At least you can search the internet. And also..." Arisaka stood after he had placed the laptop carefully on the hospital food rack. "Don't worry about your brother. I've checked on him and he's fine. He said don't call him though. He will call you."

"Where are you going?" Misaki asked watching Arisaka move towards the door. "I am just going to the rest room. Go ahead...use the laptop. Good thing there's free wifi here."

* * *

When Arisaka came back from his short trip to the comfort room, he found the laptop closed, Misaki on his back like the dead staring into the ceiling. The sense of something depressing surrounding the young man.

"Oi...what happened to you?"

"I just added a new line to the song Arisaka-san."

Taking the laptop off of the rack, Arisaka sat on the chair near Misaki's bed and flipped it open. "Really?" He asked while browsing his net history. Curious at what might have caused the liveliness from Misaki melt into nothingness. "What's the new line?"

"I hate that you see... yet you do not realize."

Arisaka had to lift his gaze towards Misaki. He sounded...angry. "Did something happen? That line sounded like you are mad."

_Mad?_ Misaki closed his eyes and tried to empty his head. More than being mad since he didn't have the right to be, he was envious.

"Arisaka-san, thank you for the laptop but I don't need it. Just bring it home with you," Misaki muttered in a very soft voice, burying the other side of his face against the pillow. "Could you just please, if it's not much trouble...my old keyboard in Io's dressing room...can you bring it here?"

The man turned his head at Misaki and sighed. "Sure I can. Don't worry."

A croaky 'thank you' escaped Misaki's mouth before falling into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

_"We are here now at Akio Hospital where Io had been admitted. The doctor says it would take two weeks for the his injury to completely heal. And due to the shock because of what happened to his fans day...all activity of Io will be postpone. The manager of the pop icon said that they are focusing more on Io's welfare than the projects lined up. And as you can see through the window...Io's fans have occupied a huge space of the hospital grounds, praying for the teen's health."_

_The camera then panned closer to an injured Io lying on his bed with his back being supported by a white, thick pillow. He was feeling bad according to him but he looked still as fresh as ever smiling at the flashing cameras and reporters at him._

_"Thank you for all the concern of my fans. I know none wanted the incident yesterday to happen. So please everyone don't be sad. We can always repeat the fans day."_

_At the far side of the room, a camera caught a certain tall man standing by the corner. Arms crossed and just watching the whole scene take place. A newbie reporter of a gossip show couldn't help herself but approach the handsome man._

_"This is Amane currently inside Io's room. Who could this handsome man be?" the short girl asked smiling meaningfully at the camera before walking towards the man._

_"Excuse me sir! Are you related to the pop icon Io?"_

_Usami Akihiko looked at the camera focusing on his face. He was irritated. If he wasn't in Io's room, he would have grabbed the device and crushed it. Instead, Usami just looked towards Io and lenghtened his patience. The media appeared so suddenly like an assault not leaving the man the time to disappeare in the scene. And since he knew it was being broadcasted live, he just did his best not to call for too much attention. But obviously it failed._

_"Just a friend visiting," was his short reply._

_The reporter didn't press for anything. "So, Io is really loved by his fans, and still the mystery guy is still a question in the background. Don't you think guys? A woman said that the handsome guy had been here since morning. Is their connection really just a friend? Or a relative? We'll know soon! For now this is Amane, back to studio."_

_Most news involved Io here and Io there, as if the person who really got stabbed didn't exist._

* * *

However, Arisaka didn't find out why Misaki suddenly fell into a bad mood. The net history has been deleted. He had no idea how much it hurt for Misaki to see the recording of the news earlier about Io and see his Usagi-san together with the person claiming his voice.

* * *

Usami Akihiko wanted so bad to go check on Misaki. But a sudden appointment turned his schedule into a chaos leaving him no room for anything else after leaving Io's hospital.

He walked briskly towards the farthest room of Wing B of the hospital the young man was admitted to. The meeting he was in for a certain event being laid, it lasted until five in the morning. Everyone who attended the meeting were all tired. He was tired himself. But after taking a shower and grabbing food, he right away drove to Misaki. Carrying a bouquet of Yarrow that symbolizes healing to replace the indecent flowers by Misaki's bedside.

When he opened the door, Misaki's right hand was pressing idly on the white key of an obvious old keyboard resting on top of a chair. The teen hitting the middle C note over and over again. While his emerald eyes where in a far away place.

Misaki turned his eyes towards the person he saw enter his room through the corners of his eyes. Obvious shock was on his face but he looked away once more.

"Good morning, Takahashi-kun," the composer greeted walking towards the bedside table.

A soft good morning was Misaki's only reply, not meeting gazes with the older man.

"You have a keyboard brought here huh? I guess being here could really be boring," Usami started making a conversation. He could sense something off with the teen who just kept pressing the C key over and over again. It sounded ugly. It sounded flat. It sounded lifeless.

Trying to sound still lively despite his tired body, Usami started taking the Gladiolus off the vase.

"Why are you removing them?"

Usami's hand froze in the air. He didn't know himself. It was just that it annoyed him to even think that something from that _'man'_ was in Misaki's room.

"Is there something hurting in you?" Usami asked since even for the short period he'd been with the youth, Misaki had always been polite. But that time, he was not. Maybe the teen was feeling discomfort that was why he was not in a good mood.

"Why are you even here?!"

Misaki's eyes opened wide. It shocked him. He didn't mean to burst out like that.

"Takahashi-k..."

"Why don't you go to Io instead _Usami-sama_?" Misaki continued while his eyes were fixed at the end of his bed.

_No...I can't stop myself...no...these aren't what I want to say...I want you to stay!_

"What are you saying?" This time Usami was starting to get irritated. His tired mind and body from all the events that took place starting to take over.

"Io must be waiting for you."

"Takahashi-kun. I came here because I want to know if you're fine. Why are you being like this?"

"If you are just visiting me because I saved you before...it's fine. You don't have to worry about me."

_Somebody...stop me..._

Usami's thread of patience was no more. His head had been pounding from lack of sleep that he was just trying to ignore. Now he couldn't.

"You know what, you're right."

Misaki bit his bottom lip. His hands trembling as he gripped the blanket on his legs.

Usami tossed the Gladiolus on the table. Getting more irritated at the piece of paper glaring at him.

Misaki knew he was so wrong. He was very very wrong. He was like a kid jealous for an attention when he didn't even have the right to be. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to say sorry for acting strange. He was about to. But he was rendered speechless.

"Right. Why am I wasting my time going here?" Usami's lavender eyes stared at the note like the intensity could put the paper into flames as his temples started pounding. "Why am i wasting my time with a nobody like you?"

Both Usami and Misaki turned to one another. Both not believing what they just heard.

When the silverhaired man saw Misaki's face, his feet moved on its own. Huge, brisk steps out the room, he made. He could feel his heart throbbing so much at the extent of hurt painted on the teen's face.

He didn't mean it. He was just tired and irritated.

_Shit...I am so thrown out of my pace..._

The tall man slammed his car door shut and his hands gripping the wheels tight, he cursed under his breath. Lack of sleep never did him any good.

He sat there for ages, not driving. He just stared at what was before him. Empty cars, empty road, the whole lot was an empty space. He stared hard at them while seeing something else.

When Io confessed to him, he didn't give an answer. Pressing hard on the accelarator, his car wheels screeching leaving a trace of tires on the ground, he drove towards Io's hospital.

* * *

Has it been three hours? Fours hours? Maybe five.

Misaki could only remember the doctor visiting him, checking his wound. The nurse helping him clean himself. Helping him fill his empty stomach. Everything passed like a boring routine.

And he did nothing but press the C key. Or maybe he should go to D. That would be more fitting to describe how crazy his insides were. He never imagined that those hot and painful words, the things he didn't want to hear, would come from none other than Usagi-san.

"Nobody?" Misaki muttered to himself. Yes, he was a nobody. A no name.. What's there to contradict? And since there was nothing to turn the tables, his small confidence he was trying to build, crumbled away.

He saw droplets land on the white blanket covering his entire lower body. Rubbing his eyes, he gritted his teeth.

"It was you who started it! Why the hell are you crying...?"_ Stupid childlike jealousy!_

* * *

He used his sleeves to dry his pathetic face. He scrubbed the fabric against his face that it felt hot. But he froze when he heard a knocking against the door. Hope swelling, and a little relief, Misaki fixed his eyes at the closed entrance, waiting eagerly to see one face. Whispering a name he could only hear.

"Usag-"

Misaki found himself staring into a pair of dark eyes instead. He found himself not able to look away. And the man with an air of class and money grinned at him.

"...you..." the confused Misaki muttered. As he looked at the man approaching him slowly, that was the only time he realized the lustrous dark hair that refined the face without a flaw. He was indeed really tall. The last time he saw and felt this uneasy presence was in that CD shop.

With his face full of amusement at Misaki's shocked expression, Ijuuin Kyo stopped by the end of Misaki's bed. Standing there like he owned the entire hospital.

"By the looks of it, you still remember me don't you?"

"What business do you have with me?" Misaki asked trying hard not to sound impolite. But he knew his voice failed him. He still didn't like the man after saying bad things about the music his Usagi-san was making that time.

Chuckling softly, Ijuuin's gaze stopped at the vase with the flowers he sent and the bouquet of Yarrows on the table, left unattended.

"Aren't you going to thank me for the flowers?"

"Flowers?" Misaki exclaimed to himself. His face growing hot at the realization finally hitting him. "You're ..."

Extending both his hands for a dramatic effect, Ijuuin closed his eyes as if reminiscing a fun memory. "Yes...I am the composer with a _dead_ music. A man whose compositions have_ no heart_. Hi, I'm BlackMedly."

Misaki couldn't hide his embarrassment. He wanted to hide under his bed. At the back of his mind, Misaki was screaming how his mouth was really a trouble maker.

And Ijuuin read this. He briskly walked towards the chair where the keyboard was. He lifted it and sat on the chair, placing the music instrument on his lap instead. Misaki could only watch in awe at how the man had no qualms invading someone else's space.

"Don't worry I didn't come here for an apology. Though it hurt, I came here as a friend."

"I am not planning to say sorry...just so you know," Misaki mumbled not looking at the man who was now very close to him. He didn't like it. But he didn't hate it either.

Ijuuin laughed. He was getting more fun than he expected from this.

Finally calming himself, the man wearing a suit like he just came from a meeting leaned closer. He was really feeling close with Misaki. "By the way. My real name is Ijuuin Kyo. You better remember that kiddo."

Eyes wide, his depressed look earlier completely gone and was replaced by an irritated expression, Misaki glared at Ijuuin. A guy with the same position as Usagi-san or not, he still wouldn't forgive anyone who badmouths his beloved Usagi-san. Whoever he may be.

"Please don't call me Kiddo."

"Then, Misaki?"

Utter disbelief in his now flushed face took over Misaki's pale complexion earlier.

"I kid! I kid! Takahashi-kun, okay we're good?"

Misaki feeling a little uncomfortable, turned his eyes back at the depths of the jet-black eyes looking at him. "Could you just please tell me why you're here? We hardly know each other. And obviously we don't agree to some things, Ijuuin-san."

The man looked around the room. He started pressing the keys of the keyboard on his lap. A soft and slow 'flur elise' filled Misaki's room.

"Well...aren't you feeling lonely in here? When I was hospitalized myself in America, I hardly get any visitors. And the boredom I felt was the one killing me and not the real reason I was there," the dark-haired man said nonchalantly.

The teen didn't say anything. He just watched the long fingers work their way around the keyboard playing flur elise. At least that part he agreed with. The loneliness and the boredom was killing him. Not to mention him causing Usagi-san to be mad was knawing at his insides, he couldn't be at peace.

"It was just faint," the mysterious guy started, causing Misaki to look at his eyes from gazing at his fingers on the keyboard. "But you sounded so depressed earlier. Want to have fun?"

Not being able to cope up with the randomness of Ijuuin Kyo a.k.a. BlackMedly, Misaki just watched the man sit on his bed from the chair. He wanted to protest but Ijuuin was already comfortably sitting at the edge of his bed, the keyboard resting on his legs.

"What are you doing? It's too cramped here, Ijuuin-san..."

"Do you know Allegro con spirito, Sonata in D? "

"I know...but I have never played it," he answered coldly._ I have no one to play it with._

"That's too bad then. Sonata in D was a piece for two pianos composed by Mozart so that he could play together with a young girl. Share and enjoy the music at the same time."

Misaki watched Ijuuin's fingers play the first few notes of the song he knew very well. It was one of his favorites but he had no one to play it together with. He was always alone anyway. And Arisaka-san wasn't completely into music.

"Wanna play it with me?"

He lifted his gaze at the smiling face down on him and sighed. "Both of us in this keyboard?"

"Yes. A Sonata in D four-hands. That would be beautiful. That's your side," the composer pointed the half part of the keyboard. "And this in mine. Come on, start."

The youth positioned his candle-like fingers on top of the white keys, unsure of what to do.

"Don't worry. Play it however you like. And I will follow your rythm."

"But-"

"The job of the second piano is to follow the first one while maintaining it's identity. I will make your tune stand out better. Like emphasize it. You don't have to worry about the mistakes, it's going to be my job to fill in the gaps you don't know."

Misaki frowned and tried to remember how he heard that piece from his CD collection. Like how a kid playing in the river dips his toe first to feel if the water was too cold or just right, Misaki pressed one key slowly and weakly. Then his second finger hit the next note and before he knew it, he was playing the entire piece. And hearing the accompaniment of Ijuuin, surprisingly, the music sounded livelier, and more fun that he didn't notice he was already smiling as he press away and drown into the notes filling the room.

* * *

Ijuuin discreetly watched Misaki play enthusiastically. Surprisingly, this was really peaking up his interest. With the few times they played the same piece, he realized another secret, or to be more appropriate, a habit. Misaki tends to moist his lower lip when he was already highwith the music, specially during the chorus. And he found it very amusing.

Misaki stared into the keyboard after them playing. His heart was thumping violently. It was so exciting. The whole playing was entrancing. He felt his chest was so full of something he could cry.

He had always dreamt of being able to play like this with his Usagi-san, but given his position and how he was deceiving him he knew that opportunity would be as rare as a comet circling the Earth.

"Hey...why the sad face again? You're smiling face is more like it."

"..."

"Wanna play some more?"

"But what about you? Aren't you tired?"

"Game. We'll play as long as you like. We;ll play until your fingers drop," Ijuuin answered, slightly patting Misaki on the head once.

Although uncomfortable, Misaki let it slide since he somehow realized that Ijuuin Kyo wasn't as bad as he thought.

They played, laughing here and there at the mistakes the green-eyed boy was making.

* * *

He played and played with his mind sometimes picturing him and Usagi-san instead. The young man was really grateful that somehow he was able to forget the heaviness in his heart.

Misaki was not the least bit aware of the silver haired man who lingered for a bit outside the door listening to Misaki's hearty laughter before leaving.

* * *

**Chapter end notes:**

**HAPPY VALENTINES FIRST! PLEASE ACCEPT ALL THE IMAGINARY "TOMO-CHOCO" I HAVE FOR YOU GUYS FROM MY HEART!**

Hello! thank you for reading. I really think i;ve watched from somewhere that SOnata in D was made so the composer could reminisce how it is fun to just plainly play. I forgot where..OR MAYBE my head is just making it up. but SONATA IN D IS COMPOSED BY MOZART.^^"

sonata in D for two pianos is a happy melody.^^

flur elise...i think most of us have heard this In one way or another.

so right now it's 6:21 in the morning. i have to steal some sleep! AHAHA

ARIGATOU...REVIEWS APPRECIATED^^

CHU~~~~!


	12. The Start

**The start**

* * *

There was no telling how much he regret lashing out like that. It was impolite and most importantly, he didn't have the right. Maybe he should just forget what he was feeling and move on as if nothing happened. Toss the past, toss everything he was dreaming about. After all, it was futile anyway. He'd been naive and stupid enough to think that 'one day my feelings would reach out to him' something like that. So childish. So stupid.

"Misaki, hello? Hello?" the worried voice called out once more.

As if he was pulled out of an ugly trance, Misaki blinked a couple of times and laughed awkwardly. To Takahiro's ears it sounded so forced.

"You've been spacing out every middle of our conversation. Misaki is there something bothering you?"

Misaki smiled genuinely. How he missed his brother! "Nothing really Nii-chan. Just thinking..."

"I am not so sure if it's just my imagination, but why is it so noisy in your background? What's that rustling?"

The young man's lips quivered. Hand on the phone against his ears, Misaki roamed his green orbs around. The sky was blue. It was as if he was looking at a vast, sparkling ocean above his head. Above was heaven, and in his eye level, everything was just green. The trees' leaves falling, the tall grasses dancing with the wind. Closing his eyes, feeling the gentle wind caressing his cheeks, Misaki sighed a deep one.

"Misaki? You're not in the hospital, are you?"

* * *

Nine days. Nine painful, boring days had passed. And Misaki couldn't take it. He had stared at his phone every minute. Almost jumped in surprise when it rang only to be disappointed. He had waited for the door to open and see a certain face. But nine days passed and Usami Akihiko hadn't show up.

He badly wanted to apologize. So he tried calling the composer. But it was only the cold voice of an operator that entertained him. At the eighth day, the boy had fully conviced himself that there was nothing to hope for.

* * *

Nine days. Nine painful, uneasy days passed. And it was driving Io crazy.

He looked over his phone lying quietly on the table beside him. His fingers aching to dial a number. But he stopped himself and bit his lower lip instead. He looked around his room annoyed at the huge flowers surrounding him. Every corner of his room was occupied by flowers in pots, in vases, and huge cards with screaming "get well soon" notes.

"This room looks like a freakin' funeral," he said aloud throwing his green eyes at the blue sky clearly visible from his huge window. He looked at the occasional puffs of white float freely with a scorn. The more he looked into them, the more he felt how weak he was.

Slowly, his stubborn expression softened. Slender fingers brushed the hot sting in the corners of his eyes. He resolved himself to not cry. And he'd hold on to that. But the mind has no control when it comes to the heart.

_"Please like me..."_ he remembered how nine days ago it had taken him huge effort to utter such impossibe confession to another man. He had high hopes that time. He really had.

Surprisingly, Io who always had this over confidence in him couldn't bring himself to look the man sitting by his bedside in the eyes. He buried his gaze on his hands gripping the greenish blanket on him while feeling his entire body grow tense.

The entire room suddenly felt small. And the silence pounded hard in his eardrums. _Why isn't he answering?_

Io felt a hand on his head. His hair being caressed so softly it felt like it was his heart being touched instead. With a flushed face, the teen gathered the remaining self confidence he could get and looked the composer in the eyes.

Usami Akihiko had a blank expression. And it shattered him.

Io pulled the pillow under his already okay foot and buried his face in it. _"Why didn't he say anything?"_

Frightened with all the speculations of being rejected, Io moved his face slightly back to the window. His eyes could only make out the blurry world of blue outside. The happy reaction, the musical dream he wanted seemed too childish._ "I almost forgot. Everything I want, is not easy to get..."_

* * *

_The sound of a crumpling paper could be heard occasionally. Then a pen being tapped at the hard surface of the table would come next. The squeaking of the velvet, swivel chair would accompany the phones ringing simultaneously. Long fingers would slightly brush silver strands off his face as he looked mindlessly over the empty music sheets scattered on the table. And he would sigh. He was lost. Completely lost._

_Usami Akihiko buried his face on both of his hands tiredly. His eyes moved towards the huge speakers on the corner of his music room without moving at all. Then he shut his eyes._

_He should be the happiest man when Io confessed to him. After all, he wanted from the depths of his soul to start the past left untouched. But when he finally heard those words, he was so baffled that he felt nothing. He felt completely unaffected that he could only pat the boy on the head while questioning himself why he was not the least happy about it. Where was the anticipation he was waiting for? What happened to him?_

Shit...

_He once again looked at the endless number of crampled music sheets before him. He couldn't stay focused and he couldn't do a single work done. It was so not like him to have his personal dealings affect his work. He was sure he completely drew a clear line between the two. But he was starting to doubt it. He was so torn._

Why was I so torn to have to see that boy laugh together with somebody else?_ The fact that he must have uttered one of the most hurtful things in the world to a kid who was working hard didn't help at all. It just rolled from his tongue out of irritation and tiredness. Worse, he couldn't fathom why of all people, Misaki was with Ijuuin Kyo. The man he would never be able to forgive._

_Frowning, the composer stood from his seat and walked towards the huge window draped with thick curtains. He was so sure he liked Io at first. But when he looks at Misaki, there was something stirring inside him. When he looks at the kid trying his best, he felt so proud. When the kid called him Usagi-san, he laughed, but in reality he was just trying to hide his embarrassment. He felt his chest so full he worried about the happiness swelling in his eyes. Who would cry just by being given such a childish name anyway? But that was how he felt that time._

_Looking at the kid was opening a lot of emotions he wasn't expecting. He started convincing himself that he wanted to look after the boy out of being saved by him before. But there was soomething knawing at him. A hole in the great maze he was stuck in. And it was confusing him._

_What would he do to Io who already confessed to him? And what Ijuuin Kyo told him seven days ago bothered and angered him at the same time._

_"Oh," the jet black eyes narrowed meaningfully when in the parking lot, two men with far too much intimidating aura clashed. _"Usami Akihiko. How long have you been here? You should have join us play earlier."

_Ijuuin Kyo muttered in a gleeful voice. He had noticed the man leave the front of Misaki's room._

"How in the world did you end up here?"_ Usami asked in a voice colder than ice._

_Ijuiin rested his back against his black car as dark as his eyes and smiled. _"I visited a close friend. Is there something bad about it?"

_Usami who also was resting his back against his red sports car crossed his arms. His face devoid of any emotion._ "Friend? You who have not a single ounce of care to anyone?"

_The face of Ijuuin turned grim. He pulled open the car door and looked mockingly at his rival composer. _"I care for Takahashi Misaki though."

_The lavender eyes turned to slits. The heavy atmosphere grew intense. The summer heat seemed nothing compared to the burning sensation of past arguments and broken friendships._

"Leave Takahashi alone and don't drag him into your selfishness."

_The dark-haired man's shoulders shook from chuckling as he threw a final glance at the man glaring at him._ "What right do you have to tell me that? Who are you to meddle with Takahashi Misaki's affairs?"

_They looked into each other's eyes as if playing an invisible tug of war. _"Besides , Usami, I know something about Takahashi Misaki that you don't. And because I am selfish,"_ pausing a little at the last word as if he wanted to emphasize i_t, "I'll use that to my advantage."

_Just remembering how confident Ijuuin's mug had been, the irritation and new anger boiled in Usami's chest. His knuckles mindlessly hit the glass panel it shook. He was surprised the glass didn't shatter._

_"Who are you to meddle with Takahashi Misaki's affairs?" It vibrated in his head. It annoyed him. But deep down he started questioning himself as well._

_Deep inside him he knew he had to find an answer. It was hard to just abandon Io. And thinking he had fallen to someone else who was not his past was equally hard. He always thought he wouldn't stop looking for that kid he met ten years ago. He swore if he ever finds him, he'd take him for himself no matter how selfish it would seem. But when he found him, he ended up wanting...somebody else._

How long has it been? Six? Seven days?_ Usami whispered to himself. He cut all connections with the outside world to find himself. To contemplate things inside him. He decided he had to have an answer before facing Io. Accept him? Or not? And what he was feeling towards the other green-eyed boy? Was it sympathy? Infatuation? Cooped up in his flat, still he hadn't got a single answer to his feelings. He was twenty eight, but he was acting strangely confused about what was happening._

_There was a strange puzzle surrounding Io and Misaki. That he was sure. And he resigned to know them soon._

_And after gazing endlessly at the expanse of Tokyo before him, Usami Akihiko turned towards his messy table and grabbed the cordless phone he avoided for the past seven days. _"Prepare my car. I'll be going out. Thanks."

* * *

He drove with his mind not on the dirt road. He had stayed in their villa for two days already. That made him nine days out of the busy world he usually drowned himself in.

Usami Akihiko left the top of his sports car open. All crystal blue vastness above his head, his hair almost white with the sun's rays. The thick trees and their lustrous green reflected on his dark sunglasses. He had been ignoring these things before. But they were now all soothing him for some reason. He turned into a winding road, the dirt under his wheels forming a cloud of dust swirling in the summer air.

He drew in the fresh air surrounding in and felt calm. The two days he stayed in their villa, staring at the forest from his window and being away from the busy city life did him good. It all became clear to him that he wouldn't be able to give Io an answer. He couldn't accept it. He would ignore the past he treasured for the past ten years and gamble into the present. How he would do it was still a question. But that was his resolve. And for the last time, to finally cut ties with the past that Io seemed to have forgotten, Usami drove towards the clearing where the forgotten small shrine was. The place where it all started.

* * *

He stopped and parked his car at the side of the road. The way to the shrine was rather bumpy and he wouldn't want to ruin the tall grasses that seemed to sway with the breeze. Their rustling sounded calming. The trees, the grass, the soft rush of water, they were the nature's orchestra. No man made music would be able to compete with it.

He felt his feet sink into the soft carpet of grass. The wild flowers magestically facing the sun, the dandelions floating in the air. This place hadn't changed. It still looks dreamy. He thought as he trudged deeper into the woods.

He felt his phone which he had put into silent mode vibrate against his leg. But he didn't pay attention to it. He continued walking to the place that he knew by heart. His refuge when he was tied and suffocating by his family matters. And the place he started piecing his dream together. The past was something he would always treasure. But he figured he had to stop dwelling in it. The feeling was still new to him, but he would pursue a new goal.

The silver haired man currently wearing a black, thin v-neck shirt frowned. His phone had been vibrating nonstop as he was nearing the small shrine. He fished his phone impatiently and decided he'd answer once he reached the shade the small shrine was offering. He heard dried leaves crumble under his steps and then he looked at the screen of his phone after taking his sunglasses off.

An unknown number was glaring at him.

Looking at the sky, he placed the phone against his ear and answered a lazy 'yes?'.

_"Usami?_" the worried voice on the other line sounded familiar.

"Arisaka? How'd you get-"

_"Just answer me. Do you know where Misaki is?_" the voice sounded so serious it almost didn't register to him.

"What are you saying?"

There was rustling in the background and the sound of shoes pacing._ "Do you know? He's not here in the hospital! No note whatsoever! No one noticed him disappear!"_

Usami felt like he was sinking in where he was standing.

_"God, that punk, what would he do if his wound opens up or something!"_

"Okay, I'll rush there to look for him.," Usami said in a voice barely audible. Somehow he felt that it was his fault.

_"That would be a great help. You haven't showed your face here in a long while I thought something happened between you two. Where are you now?"_

"Okinawa."

_"Ha?! And you'll rush here?!"_

"That doesn't matter," Usami hang up the phone and started taking heavy strides towards where he came from.

* * *

"You have a call! Shing Shing! A call!" a chipmunk voice called out which stopped the man in worry on his tracks.

Usami froze. His heart felt like it stopped, his eyes fixed at the small shrine.

Before his brain muddled with curiosity and suspicion had a chance to think, Usami dashed at the back side of the small, old structure.

Legs stretched out on the grass. Hands unmoving; one on his stomach, one hand lying palm upwards near his face, like a baby in his sleep. Hair softly fluttering with the wind. Lashes that seemed to spark under the shade of the huge tree behind the shrine and the occasional sun rays that showered on the sleeping face. Green earphones inside his earlobes connected to a CD player. And the phone ringing desperately to call its owner to no avail.

Usami Akihiko felt the world stopped moving as he gazed down to the sleeping form of Takahashi Misaki. His heart started racing. A cold rush of relief filled his entire being his knees felt suddenly so weak. He knelt. And lifted a finger to touch the cheek of the boy sleeping without a care to the world.

"God...don't scare me like that..." the man whispered under his breath. The soft chocolate strands danced on his approaching finger. But he halted. A disturbed look forming on his perfect face.

"What are you...doing here?" he asked.

Misaki only smiled in his sleep.

* * *

**Chapter end notes:**

**YEY! i UPdated but kinda short. sorry my head's in a bliss right now.! buwahah. i hope you enjoyed this chappy. it was always a little difficult to write in the seme's pov. have you noticed most yaois are in uke's pov? lol...but i really wanted to show Usagi-san as a human too. how he's confused or something.**

**anyway. THANK YOU FOR READING AND REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS welcome! BUWAHHA..lol**

**I AM QUIET INSPIRED TONIGHT BECAUSE IVE FINISHED 3 YAOI NOVELS: The aristocrat and the desert prince, caged slave and gentle cage.^^**

**if reading yaoi could make one fat...i may be one of the fattest FUJOSHIs out there!**

**-shuusetsu**


	13. Leak

Thank you for your patience!^^

* * *

**Leak**

* * *

When Misaki opened his eyes, it was already dark save from the heavenly bodies in the sky; the moon, the stars and the gray clouds floating above his head. He blinked a couple of times. His green eyes searched for his cellphone and yanked the earphones off his ears. The place was eerily quiet. He couldn't even hear any rustle from the trees surrounding him.

"How long have I been asleep to be this late?" he asked aloud, looking at his phone. Both his phone and CD player was out of battery.

He tried in vain to turn his phone on he gave up finally. He stood. The dried leaves crunching below his feet. Gathering his belongings, he turned to the direction he came from.

"I really should get going...I have to take medicine..." he continued.

Just as he passed the front of the shrine, he froze. He didn't know if it was just his sleepy eyes playing tricks on him, but he was not alone. He definitely was not alone. He slowly turned his head at the front of the small shrine. A tall man, whose hair seemed to reflect the glow of the moon was facing the dark structure. If anything, Misaki felt he had swallowed his tongue, he stared dumbfounded, his fear growing. How in the world did he ended up in this situation? He only wanted to visit his gradnparents graves and look back to the happy past he had in this place.

The man looked at him. Not a hint of kindness or gentleness could be seen. His lavender eyes were devoid of any emotion as he stared at the wide green eyes not far from him.

"U-Usagi-san..." Misaki whispered into the thin, tense air surrounding them. He couldn't even move a muscle. The way those eyes were staring was sucking all the energy he had in his body. He was scared.

"Was it fun making fun of me? Takahashi?"the voice as cold as a corpse.

Misaki's body was so numb he couldn't move, much less speak. He just peered into the lavender eyes. His chest was so heavy and his mind was blank.

_"What should I do? What I am supposed to do?"_ Misaki asked his useless brain.

The tall man took a step forward. His stance menacing.

_"Misa-nii, Aki-chan once told me that once trust is broken, it is very difficult to put together..."_ Misaki suddenly remembered. _"I know that. I know that..."_

On the verge of tears, Misaki resigned himself to beg even if he had to kiss the ground. He was on the wrong anyway. But his body wouldn't follow what he wanted to do. He remained frozen as he watched Usami Akihiko move towards him.

It was dark. Not just the surroundings but how the composer looked. His stare into Misaki's scared orbs showed he meant business.

They stood. Usami looking down. Misaki looking up.

"Tell me Takahashi Misaki. Did you enjoy making a fool of me all this time?"

The boy shook his head, biting down on his lip he felt he could tear away his own flesh. _This is the end..._

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean..."

"Didn't_ mean_?" Usami leered. "Acting so pure and innocent in front of me but behind me you're this rotten bastard?"

Misaki opened his mouth. But no sound came from them. His chest hurt so bad. But no matter how many tears he shed facing the composer, the man's expression didn't change. It was as cold as ice. As dead as Misaki's dreams.

The younger one didn't know what to do. He couldn't even control his own body. The next thing he knew, he was reaching out to the composers hand. Trying to grab those long fingers. But instead, Usami reached out for his neck, squeezing the life out of him...

"AHHHHHHH!" Misaki screamed.

"Takahashi?" Usami Akihiko was just about to touch the lad's forehead when the teen woke and started screaming.

Still lying on his back, Misaki lifted his head, his weight resting on both of his elbows as he ran his gaze around him. His face full of anxiety and sweat. Panting, Misaki looked at the still bright sky. He turned left and right and could hear the rustle of the trees. Could feel the cool yet dry wind against his face.

"Takahashi?" the older man repeated. His face painted with concern.

At the sight of the composer's face, Misaki stared with shock. His eyes reflected fear and guilt. He shook his head violently. Not knowing what was the dream and what was the reality. He felt like he was stuck in between.

Worried, the tall man knelt before Misaki and smiled gently. Trying to say through it that it was fine. That there was nothing to be afraid of.

"Usami-sama?"

The older man's brows flinched for a moment. The bar they had already pulled out was again in between them. The formality returned after their argument in the hospital and after not being in contact for nine days, it was as if they were strangers once more. Truthfully, Usami felt a pang of something in his chest at the "Usami-sama". He wasn't expecting that. And he was even happy at being called Usagi-san.

Despite everything, Usami pulled himself together. "Yes," the man answered softly. He extended his hand towards Misaki but the boy just stared at it.

_"What should I do? This...this feels like an extension of that bad dream..."_

His heart pounding violently, his temples throbbing. He felt his blood rush through his veins. _"How...could I explain this...?"_

The wind blew harder, the dried leaves flying in all direction. At the same time, Usami decided to be bolder and patted Misaki on the shoulder who had gone stiff as a statue. "I'll help you get up."

Even though some dirt had entered Misaki's eyes, he remained staring at the man. He couldn't break off from the eye contact. He knew that his dream was nothing compared to the real thing once his secret has been revealed. His guilt, and his fear and his unrequited feelings swirled inside his chest. Misaki wanted to look away, he knew he'd cry like a pathetic kid soon. But breaking off gazes with the eyes looking at him so gently was like defying gravity. The more he wanted to flee from it, the more he was being sucked in.

Still on the mercy of the soft grass, Misaki felt goosebumps creeping on his skin. _"If he started asking...I don't know what to answer...God, I am planning to tell him the truth but not now. Not now! I am not yet prepared..."_

"Why do you keep on staring at me like you've seen a ghost?" Usami's voice sounded playful. "I know it's been a while since we saw each other, but that doesn't mean I dropped dead somewhere. Come on, hold on to my hand."

Misaki looked around him. As if he was searching for something, waiting for someone. "Please...someone take me out of here."

There was metal clashing. It sounded more of like a bell ringing with the wind. And Misaki and the silverhaired man both looked at the man tossing and waiving his car keys in the air.

"Ijuuin?" Usami questioned, not hiding the look of distaste on his face under the rays of the sun.

"Usami," Ijuuin acknowledge. Then his eyes rested on the boy still half lying, half sitting on the bed of grass. "Takahashi, did you get bored waiting for me?"

Only wanting to escape, Misaki with his shaking hands picked his phone and player off the ground and ran almost stumbling at the side of the man who just arrived.

* * *

"Are you sure you're fine coming with me?" Ijuuin asked.

Misaki who had his head resting on the headrest slightly turned to look at the other composer he just came to know. He wasn't really fond of the man's craft but he appeared to be nice. He had to admit that the man had his own qualities to be respected. Confidence, good looks, money. And he was always easy to smile at Misaki. And looking at the man with hair as dark as the night, wearing a pink lose cotton shirt topped by a black coat, Misaki felt so plain in his red v-neck shirt and tattered jeans and dirty sneakers.

"You mentioned you're meeting is in Okinawa right?" Misaki queered as the older man rolled the car windows up and manuevered the car out of the hospital parking lot.

Looking at the backside of the car through the rearview mirror, Ijuuin nodded while focusing on his driving out of the hospital. "Yup. I'm meeting a cover artist in Okinawa. But why did you suddenly insist on coming with me?"

Misaki looked at the front then and tapped his fingers on the safetybelt on his stomach. "Just want to visit my grandparents' graves. I have forgotten their death anniversary," Misaki replied sounding depressed.

"Ah. I see. Well not a problem if its on the way anyway. Glad to help."

The whole ride on the plane was smooth. It took almost two hours from Tokyo to Okinawa. Misaki despite being young, he insisted on paying for his own fare. An act Ijuuin found commendable if not stubborn since he was the older one and he had to pay because he wanted to. But after long discussions, Ijuuin raised the white flag and allowed Misaki to pay.

On the highway using a rented car, their journey was quiet. Neither of the two spoke. Both immersed in their own thoughts. After Ijuuin accompanied the boy to an old cemetery near the Takahashi's residence which was now in ruins, they drove towards the inn where the cover artist was staying.

Ijuuin checked to see if the person on his passenger seat had gone off to dreamland because of boredom. Misaki was staring quietly at the passing trees, eyes alert and wide. Ijuuin smiled to himself.

The boy suddenly turned towards the car window and pressed the 'down button'. As soon as the tinted glass disappeared, Misaki popped half of his body out the car almost giving his guardian for the day a heart attack.

"Takahashi-kun! Stop doing that!"

"Just a little, Ijuuin-san! Don't stop the car!" Misaki shouted as his face felt the force of strong wind against his face. It was good they were in the secluded parts of Okinawa. Or else it was not just Misaki who'd get in trouble but also Ijuuin for consenting Misaki's antics.

Ijuuin just sighed and chose to just decrease the speed all the while Misaki was enjoying the force slapping on his face. After ten minutes, he sat back properly on the smooth, black leather surface with his chocolate hair all over the place.

The man on the driver's seat laughed out loud. "Your hair looks like a bird nest."

Embarrassed, Misaki used his fingers to fix his tossled hair. Then he gasped. His green eyes widening at the familiar set of trees etched from the very back of his head.

"Please stop the car here Ijuuin-san!" Misaki had squuezed the man's arm as he looked at the window on Ijuuin's side. "Please drop me here."

Pulling off the dirt road, the man expertly halted the car and looked at Misaki with concern. "Do you really wish to stay here until afternoon? You can just watch anything you want while you wait for my meeting to end."

Misaki started removing the seatbelt and gave an apologetic smile to the man. "Sorry Ijuuin-san I'm such a trouble. But I missed this place and I want to stay here for a while. If it's not that too much trouble just pick me up after your meeting."

Ijuuin started getting off the car at the same time Misaki did. He frowned, still not happy about the idea of leaving a still recovering boy from an operation alone. Misaki saw this and grinned. If Misaki could only see how funny his appearance was he'd be embarassed to death. But Ijuuin just laughed inside and finally released the tension on his forehead.

"Okay then, I'll be back around two or three."

The man already turned his back to go inside the car when Misaki called one last time. When Ijuuin looked, Misaki was already on a deep bow.

"I'm so sorry for the trouble. Thank you Ijuuin-san!"

"No prob."

"Ijuuin-san! Don't forget me here okay? If you met a date there, please, don't forget me here!" Misaki joked then dashed into the familiar woods.

If the meeting wasn't so important, Ijuuin probably would have chosen to kill time with Misaki in that intriguing place.

* * *

The air was spelled as tension. Sharp lavender eyes against the piercing black ones. They stood like that for only a mere five seconds, but to both Ijuuin and Usami, it was like standing in the middle of an arena. Like they always had been.

"Sorry Usami, this kid here is with me. I'm picking him up."

Misaki wouldn't look Usami in the eyes. He just stared at the ground after bowing a couple of times.

"Oh, do you want to join us in a ride perhaps? Since you're already here..." Ijuuin offered, patting Misaki on the head for Usami to see. Misaki who had no idea what was going looked up the man beside him with a confused gaze. Ijuuin just turned to him with a smile. Then he looked at Usami once more. His lips smiling yet his eyes weren't.

"Oh but perhaps the great living legend is quiet busy right? So do you mind us living first?"

Without any more words, Ijuuin led Misaki away from the small shrine. Usami's palms had gone white. His nails painfully digging on his flesh as he watched the two figure grow smaller from his sight.

* * *

The moment Misaki sat on the cold leather seat, he felt a boulder on his chest had been rolled to the side and finally he could breath. He had buried his face on his palm inhaling and exhaling. As if shooing away a feeling he didn't like. The hole he was in was getting bigger while the world was getting smaller. If he wouldn't make a move and start trying to fix things, his dream just a little while ago would turn to reality. Just the thought made Misaki shake violently.

Misaki turned his face slightly at the driver's seat. He sensed the scent of the man's cologne wrap around him. The black coat was resting on his shaking shoulders.

"You know, I am a very perceptive guy Takahashi-kun. Care to tell me your story?"

The silence in the car was broken by Misaki's phone ringing. The boy's fingertips seemed to be even burned as he slid his finger on his touch screen phone to answer Usami Akihiko's call.

"Takahashi-kun, you better apololize to Arisaka."

Misaki's tears welled up in his eyes all the time he was looking at Ijuuin's jet black orbs while his phone was against his ears, hearing the voice he was waiting for. But when the man appeared in front of him, he had no guts to face him at all. It was too stupid of him to act like a spoiled child. "I'm sorry."

_"You have nothing to apologize to me, Takahashi."_

"No! Really I am sorry."

_"I don't really undertand why, and I have a lot of things to ask and tell you. But for now, rest. Give me a call if something happened. Not just anyone."_

Misaki turned the other way, towards the window on his side and inhaled. He didn't know how their already going well relationship as friends would return after the awkward little argument they had. Misaki's head was blank he couldn't think.

Usami just waited in silence for Misaki, sensing that the boy still had something to tell.

"Takahashi, if there's nothing else...I'm..."

_"Usagi-san."_

In the middle of the clearing, in front of the shrine, Usami Akihiko fell silent.

"I'm here." Looking up, the wind blowing into the silver strands hiding the man's face, it was only a smile visible in his thin lips. Who was a man in his right mind who'd be this happy to be called that name? It was just him.

That single word assured him that their thread was still connected.

* * *

Tracing his long fingers on the old, rough railing of the little shrine, Usami Akihiko's mind seemed to be wandering. He circled the small shrine a lot of times after Misaki and Ijuuin had disappeared. He pursed his lips together feeling the surface unde his finger tips. The shrine wasn't this bad before. Clearly, ten years would change everything so much.

He was a bratty teenager anyway who'd kill time at the back of this hidden santuary. Then came a pure kid wandering around who stitched his dreams together for him. Like an old film, Usami closed his eyes and focused as hard as he could to the blurry image of the green-eyed boy ten years ago. How that boy smiled, how he had looked him in the eyes with his huge eyes, how he'd shook his huge hand with his small ones and how'd they made a deal.

Strangely, the more he thought about the kid, the more and more he thought that he resembled Misaki more than Io did. Or did he already knew it at first but allowed himself to be misled by that voice in his head. He frowned. His ears were always precise. He wouldn't make a wrong judgement. How'd he'd predicted the voice to mature in ten years was coming from Io. And yet, the kid was more like Misaki.

He sighed and sat at the exact spot where he had sat ten years ago. The place felt more cramped. He surely did grow a lot.

Closing his eyes, Usami rested his head against the rotten walls of the shrine. This place...is as calming as ever...

After staying in that way for a while that he was about to fall asleep, his phone vibrated once again. This time, it wasn't from anyone in the music industry pestering him about new compositions or about the upcoming event they were already planning out. It was from his right-hand man.

"Yes."

_"Usami-sama, I already have the results of the investigation."_

Usami pulled his one knee closer to his chest and gazed at the Gingko tree from afar. "And?"

_"I suggest you read them yourself Sir. I don't think you'll be very happy with it."_

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

**whoohoooot! i feel like it's been forever! thank you for all your patience and time and understanding. my chaotic schedule just got worse but im fine. i finished two other yaoi novels so i am happy. LOVE WATER AND IMMORAL DARKNESS (oh yeah...it was truly immoral) lol**

**ALSO..I WROTE A LONGSHOT FIC tAKANOxONODERA.i'd really be happy If you could tell me your thoughts about it. it's already complete. i loved writing it so i hope to know your views about it^^**

s/9024101/1/Rain-and-Fire

THANK YOU FOR READING AND STILL LOOKING FORWARD TO SHADOW SINGER!^^

-SHUUSETSU

PS. i don't know what;s with the current chapter title..lol


	14. Silent Witnesses

_Because everyone (Guests and Readers, all!) have been very kind in the reviews...i was so inspired...I have two chapters up for this update! since i know some are about to strangle me because of the cliffhangers..hahaha Please review to both. I just have to post two chapters tonight. Hehehe...THANK YOU FOR THE support!_

* * *

**Silent Witnesses**

_There's no pain in this world you feel, that I know love won't be able to heal_

* * *

He had expected to receive a slap from his friend. But instead, he received a heartfelt hug from Arisaka that made him lose a tear. The arm around his shoulders was warm and comforting. And he could only sob on that shoulder.

"Hora, don't soak my shirt punk," Arisaka complained, finally releasing Misaki.

"I'm sorry for making you worry," Misaki started. His eyes fixed on the white linen of his hospital bed. The sky outside was dark, the night had already settled in. "My head was just all in a blurry...I wanted to run away..."

"I know."

"Eh?"

Arisaka stood and made his way towards the door. "You're like an open book to me," the man teased while grinning. "You're lucky. There are a lot of people who are worrying about you without you knowing it. So don't dare run away again."

"I'm sorry."

"Cut it out will you?" the man turned the knob and threw a final glance at Misaki who was already tucked in on bed. "I think I should let you know though it might not be able to let you sleep."

Misaki knitted his brows.

"Usami Akihiko, that beloved composer of yours, I was just shocked that he was willing to fly from Okinawa straight to Tokyo the moment I told him you were missing. See, a lot of people loves you."

The kid just stared at the man, not knowing what to say. Whether Arisaka mentioned it with double meaning or not, Misaki knew it not. But Arisaka as he said, Misaki was like an open book to him.

The door closed with a careful "click". Arisaka rested his back against the wall with a slight smile on his face. "Don't you have two men about to run around in circles because of your naivete?" he started walking away with his hands tucked in his jeans.

"Interesting..."

* * *

Misaki was lying on his side, the injured part of him a little elevated. He had been biting the fabric of his pillow for a while now. He frowned at his childlike act but he couldn't help it. What Arisaka told him did shoo away the tiredness and sleepiness he had after Ijuuin Kyo dropped him back to the hospital.

His eyes wandered from the floor towards the open window. The sky was really clear. He figured it would be another hot day the next day. He sighed.

"Come to think of it...why was Usagi-san in there?" he asked aloud. Quietness was the reply he got.

He shifted his body and rolled on his back. His eyes stared a hole on the white ceiling. "That was the place we first met..." his lips parted a little. His fingers started to grasp the soft cotton robe against his chest. His heart was beating wild. "Did he, perhaps remembered the me back then?"

He looked at the clock, eleven in the evening._ Is he already asleep?_ He asked but he took his phone on the bed side table anyway. Sweaty fingers swiped on the screen.

_"Sorry...thank you."_ he typed. But he didn't like the sound of it and off he erased the text.

"I hope we're still friends?" he read aloud. "What the hell is this?!" he deleted them. He didn't know what to say. But he wanted to send a message. After thinking and sweating his mind out, he ended up sending a simple "goodnight." Although considering the time, it might be very impolite.

He waited for his phone to ring. He waited for a reply. But five minutes passed and there was none.

"Idiot. Look what time it is. 'Course he's asleep...besides...why would he repl-"

_You have a call! Shing Shing! A call!_

Eyes and all ears at his phone beside him, Misaki felt his body tense up at the caller ID. "Usagi-san."

Misak sat abruptly. If his wound hurt, he didn't even know. He was busy picking up the phone with his clumsy fingers.

The green-eyed boy placed the phone on against his ear. He had stopped breathing in anticipation of hearing Usagi-san's voice. But the other line was filled with silence.

_What's this? Will he not talk or something?_ In truth, Misaki was afraid to say even hello, afraid that his voice might sound too excited.

And his ear was filled with a soft laughter. _"Why aren't you talking?_" Usagi-san's cool voice from Misaki's phone asked.

There was nothing to blush about. _Why is my face...so hot!_ "Uhm, I, I was just wondering about the last time we argued..."

There was rustling on the other line. _Bed sheets?_ Misaki imagined that the composer was indeed already sleeping that time.

_"I already forgot that. It's not a big deal. I'm to blame as well. So let's leave it at that."_

_I'm so strange._ Misaki thought. The voice on the other line felt like a whispering breath against his ear. _This is bad..._

"I'm sorry to interrupt your sleep Usagi-san. I'll..."

_"Takahashi, please be careful. Specially around Ijuuin."_

"Ha? But he's a good per"

_"Just be careful."_

"Okay."

_"And Misaki?"_

"...?!"

_"I'm glad you seem to be recovering well. See you tomorrow."_

Ten minutes had already passed but Misaki remained sitting with the phone on his ear like a clay statue. He was sure that "Misaki" was not a product of his crazy imagination. And "See you tomorrow"?_ Meaning he'll come here?_

Misaki felt that that night was the longest one. Waiting for tomorrow was a pain.

* * *

Water dripped on the polished reddish marble floors. He went out from the bath wrapped in a white robe, the steam of the shower following him. He mindlessly passed his bedside table where a brown envelope was calling out for attention.

As he was fixing his dark, lavender tie, the wireless phone not far from him broke the silence of his morning routine. He didn't right away answer the phone. He picked his rolex watch and carefully wore it on his right wrist.

His sharp eyes glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Nine in the morning. His lips curled into a slight smile as he walked towards the restless phone.

"Yes."

_"Good morning Usami-sama. The car is already ready."_

"Thanks."

_"Sir, may I know if you already read the contents of the envelope?"_ the old man asked. His voice concerned. If his master have read the contents, the man would not be in a good mood. But there his boss even said "thanks". So he was curious.

Usami's gaze rested on the boring envelope and raised a brow. "I'll read it once I return tonight. For now, I don't want to think of anything else."

_"Alright, Sir."_

If only Usami Akihiko read the contents, perhaps he would not be so thrown out of the loop.

* * *

The view on the rooftop of the hospital wasn't bad. And besides, if he stayed the whole day in his room knowing that he could already move properly, without his wound being a discomfort, he would go insane.

So there on the rooftop, where a shade against the sun was coming from an overhang where a huge water tank was, Misaki sat, eyes at the fast movements of the thin clouds against the blue vastness of the sky.

One of the green earphones popped inside his ears, he rested his back against the cold brick wall. Now that he was sure that at least, him and Usagi-san was back in good terms, he once again found himself able to appreciate the littlest things around him. And it was really a peaceful and filling state.

In the corners of his green eyes, he traced the other green earphone. It was snuggly resting in the left ear of his favorite composer. The person he was secretly in love with. Usami Akihiko.

The man must have noticed Misaki was staring at him so he turned to look at the wide-eyed boy. "Bored?"

"No...ah...I was just thinking, don't you have any work to do? I mean, the great composer sitting on the floor?" Misaki stammered nervously. "Besides...aren't you going to visit...Io?"

Mentioning Io sure killed the dreamy atmosphere floating around Misaki's head. But he had to ask at least. Or he would be bothered the whole day.

The composer narrowed his eyes then rested the back of his head on the wall. His silky hair, softly moving with the occasional dry breeze.

"Io, was already released from the hospital. His sprain healed faster than expected," was his short reply before closing his eyes.

Misaki gaped at the man. He didn't know that. How come he didn't know it? Why wasn't he informed? He began to wonder.

A long moment passed between them. They were sitting close but there was still a decent gap in between. The CD inside Misaki's player spinning. The pair of earphones connecting the two of them while they mindlessly killed the time. Misaki didn't have the least idea, that the composer beside him, was already creating a new song inside his head.

* * *

"Takahashi?"

Misaki felt a light tap on his shoulder. He fell asleep without knowing it. He abruptly ran his hand on his mouth, checking for some embarassing drool or something.

Usami stood when he saw Misaki awake and raised his phone. "I have a call. I'll just go over there to answer it."

Misaki watched the back of the composer. The voice of the man sounded stiff and cold. Like his goodmood had been taken away.

Sighing, Misaki looked at the lonely end of the other earphone that had just been resting in Usami's ear just a while ago. He pressed the stop button, halting the Canon in D that they were enjoying.

Scratching the back of his head, Misaki turned his head left and right before lifting his hand to cover his mouth for a loud yawn. Usami had been gone for a long while now.

Impatience and concern filled his chest. The face Usami made before leaving Misaki was still etched on Misaki's brain. It must be serious matter, he thought.

He slowly stood, careful not to put any strain or stress on his wound. Leaving the player on the floor, Misaki stepped into the sun's rays and searched for Usagi-san.

The rooftop was still like a maze to Misaki. Some brick partitions, smaller water tanks for emergency use and the fluttering huge, white blankets hanging from a thin wire left to dry blocked Misaki's view. He chose to walk in the middle of the blankets that smelled of fabric conditioner. His face being hit by the soft material once in a while due to the strong wind.

He smiled. He finally saw Usami Akihiko standing by a rustic railing, his broad back facing him. His silent steps took him closer to the man, but he halted in surprise.

"I don't care. Did you just call me about that never ending matter?"

Misaki flinched. The man wasn't yelling or anything. But the way he talked, was of raging irritation and anger.

"Look, I was able to survive on my own for the past ten years. So you could just forget it. I am not after any Usami properties. Haruhiko can have them all."

_"Akihiko, your father is seriously ill. I know you two have no good memories together. But as a son, please, visit him. Show your face to him and I as the Usami lawyer and property consultant, won't bother you ever again. I am asking you as your father's friend and..."_

"What difference would it make? He might go crazy all of a sudden if he sees my face anyway."

Misaki knew standing there, listening in an obvious personal matter of the composer was not a good thing to do. But his feet won't leave the spot where he was. The broad back before him was...shaking.

"Uncle," Usami Akihiko began in a bitter voice. "Why should I act like a son, when he never acted as a father?"

_"Akihiko, he's in the terminal stage. One year to to two years, give or take. For how long are you going to keep this distance between you two? He had always tried to reach out to you. It's you who won't budge."_

"Terminal? One year...what?"

Misaki's hospital gown fluttered with the wind. His hair hitting his wide eyes. From the small pieces he heard, he knew that there was someone dying. And that despite the cold and strong voice, that back, that broad shaking back was hurting.

_"Please, don't be stubborn. You're an adult now Akihiko."_

"..."

_"We'll be flying back to Japan next month. I really expect that by then, you'll forget all misunderstandings and visit him."_

Usami chuckled. "Why do I feel like you're making me the bad guy here?"

_"Akihiko, think about it."_

Misaki watched with painful gaze as the tall man slowly inserted his phone back in his pocket. A deep sigh escaped the mouth of the man before his huge hands gripped the rustic railings. Head bowed, the wind was strong as if taunting him.

The young man saw something sparkling that went with the wind from the man's bowed head. _"Are those...tears?"_

His feet moved on its own accord. His arms moved on it's own and circled them around the tall man's waist from behind.

_"I'm so stupid..._" Misaki told himself.

"...?" Usami Akihiko turned his head shocked, and looked down at the chocolate head pressed against his back. "Oi...how long have you..."

"It's okay Usagi-san...you can cry, no one's going to see."

"Wait..."

But Misaki's hold just got tighter as he started crying himself.

_"I am so conceited. All this time I thought Usagi-san as a perfect man. I know so little about him...he's just like any other human in the world. A man with problems he didn't want to let others know...If I really liked Usagi-san, I should have been more sensitive...instead...all I was thinking is about myself."_

"Why are you crying, my back's..."

"Because you look so hurt! You won't cry openly and it makes me sad and pissed off!" the boy muttered, burying his face on the warm back.

The tension in his back relaxed. His gaze from the tossled chocolate mop of hair from the wind darted to the world below. He felt his chest, full of all the feelings he couldn't put into words escaped his mouth as a sigh. A contended sigh.

Misaki lifted his head a little when he felt a soft, cold hand ran on his bare arm wrapped around the composer's waist.

"Thank you."

It was just a soft whisper carried by the blowing wind. And yet, the smiling voice, shaking a little sent Misaki feeling happy. If this moment will stay forever, it would be the best thing that could ever happen.

"Usagi-san?" Misaki questioned when he felt his hands around the man's waist being slowly removed by the cold fingers gently.

Usami Akihiko turned around. It was only staring that Misaki could do, as he watched the face never in his imagination would be this close approach.

A breath's away, Usagi-san smiled. A breath's away and Misaki felt all his strenght leave his body. They all have flown together with the wind.

It was the clear sky, the fluttering white blankets, and the rustic rails that served as the sole witnessess of the very first, soft and sweet kiss that Misaki ever had in his life.

Dazed, not even able to close his eyes with surprise, Misaki felt his body being squeezed by strong arms around his back. The ticklish breath on his ear whispered a song.

"Tomorrow, do you want to see the surprise I was telling you before?"

* * *

Chapter end notes;

WOHOOT! OKAY..OKAY..FLUFFY? lOl ... allow Misaki to have it.! hahaha..don't fret/the next chapter is there. this chapter turned out to be very long so i just decided to make it a two -chapter update^^

THANKS!


	15. Take Me Back to Yesterday

**H**ello! If you don't know yet_** this chapter is the second part of a two-part update so if you don;t want to spoil anything, please go to chapter 14^^**_

* * *

** • • • • • • • • • • • • **

**Take me back to Yesterday**

* * *

Ten in the evening. Arisaka sitting on the chair near the window reading. Misaki on his hospital bed tossing and rolling and red.

"Please, your wriggling so restlessly on that bed is annoying me."

Misaki pulled the white blanket up, almost covering half of his face. His huge eyes moved to his friend's face to the book and then sighed.

_"U-Usagi-san kissed me...that was a kiss right? Our lips met...so that's a kiss...but...but..."_ he shut his eyes. "BUT WHY?!"

"Ha? Why what?" Arisaka closed the book and placed it on his lap. Eyeing Misaki on the bed who clearly was thinking about something, Arisaka crossed his legs.

"Uhm...Arisaka-san...have you ever kissed anyone in your life?"

There was no telling what was going on inside Arisaka's brain but the man stood and swiftly sat on Misaki's bed, pulling the blanket off the teen's face and grinned.

"What do you take me for?" he leaned over Misaki's beet red face, his face now serious. "I have kissed a number of times it would take you forever to count em."

"Why do you kiss them?"

Misaki grimaced at his own question. He knew of course why people kiss! But his brain refused to accept the answer to his own situation. He needed someone to tell him why. If it was him, it will be once again a selfish interpretation.

Sitting properly, Arisaka gathered his wavy hair from his back and played with them. "Why else would a person kiss another one? Of course either the one likes the person, or he was just teasing the person, like I always do, "Arisaka added playfully before turning serious once more. "But...kissing because of teasing is a little too much. Not all people could rest their lips on someone else's without feeling the least bit of fondness towards that person...so you kiss because there is an emotion in your chest that you want to express but no words can't contain them. When you kiss, it's like a seal. Why would you put a seal to someone you don't like? And Misaki, you're question is really intriguing me..."

Misaki looked at Arisaka with disbelieving eyes. _"So...Usagi-san...to me...he?"_

"Oi...Earth calling Misaki."

If Misaki knew that his happiness was just for a fleeting moment, he wouldn't have indulged so much.

* * *

Ten in the evening, Usami Akihiko was looking through out the sparkling night view of Tokyo. The establishments' lights seemed to be flickering light bulbs creating an imaginary view of stars on ground. With one stick of cigarette in his hand, he placed the glass of wine he was holding with the other down.

"So I ended up kissing him..." the man whispered.

He had taken a lot of cigarettes since he arrived home. He had taken a number of glass of wine too. But the sweetness of that lips was still on him. They won't rub off. And the more he wanted to take his mind off into thinking what happened on that rooftop, the more the memory became more vivid. If this didn't stop he was sure he'd be a beast the next moment he sees the green-eyed boy.

When they came together like that, he could only think of one thing. It was meant to be that way. Not with Io, not with anybody else.

How could such an innocent kiss drive him this mad?

Smiling, Usagi exhaled the white smoke from his perfect nose and turned from the huge window. He stubbed the cigarette on the ashtray on his bedside table once he sat on his huge bed. Dimly lit, cool and comfortable, the man yet again smiled.

"I wonder if he'll like it..." the man whispered to no one but to himself. The surprise gift he intended to show Misaki that got delayed because of the stabbing incident.

Right, that stupid stabbing incident that almost killed not just the one who got stabbed but him too. It wasn't yet clear that he liked Takahashi Misaki that time. But he knew he felt his breath had been knocked out of his chest when the boy slumped on the ground he thought he was already dead.

He didn't know he'd come to like that simple, hardworking young man at all. But now, it was only him he could think of.

He smiled to himself, about to lay on his bed when his eyes caught a glimpse of the still untouched, brown envelope on his bed side table. The moment he could finally focus his attention to that envelope, he felt something inside him tensing. Like a warning that reading it will totally erase the lightness inside him. Well, who would be happy to read about the life of an assaulter?

The day after Misaki got stabbed, out of Usami Akihiko's rage, he paid for a private investigator to find the fucking retarted. Usami had lost faith with the police who only wanted exposure from Io's case. These people in police uniform enjoyed the cameras flashing in their grinning faces but wasn't able to produce any freaking results. Besides, Io was still an important part of his past and anyone who threatenend the lives of the people important to him would face worse than hell itself.

With long fingers, he calmly tore the seal and pulled the crisp, rough papers out of it.

The yellowish light from his lampshade was the only source of light for him to read properly the contents that did not just ruined his night, but erased the word "trust" in his vocabulary.

Ten-fourty five, Takahashi Misaki was already asleep, excited for the next days events.

Ten-fourty five, Usami Akihiko was driving towards somewhere to meet a nameless face, his own face hidden by the shadows the night was casting. His hands gripping the steering wheel so hard it hurt.

* * *

"You...you keep on getting out of the hospital, this isn't a hotel you know," the woman in the reception area frowned at the grinning Misaki.

It was nine in the morning. Misaki showed his pass signed by his doctor that said he was being allowed to go out of the hospital for the time being. Wearing his favorite white shirt and his darkgreen hoody, Misaki looked towards the glass door of a room where he could see his reflection. He thought he looked plain but it was how he had always been. And it was comfortable. And since he was just excited to meet the composer in the bus stop a couple of yards from the hospital, Misaki beggan whistling.

"I wonder what it is?" Misaki asked as he inserted the pass back into his sling bag. Just as he was about to step out into the warmth the sun was abundantly showering , Misaki heard his phone ring it's message tone from his bag.

He hurriedly fished his phone out of it and watched who it was from. He smiled because he was right. It was from Usami Akihiko. His Usagi-san.

"Let's meet at Zone," Misaki read aloud.

The green-eyed boy looked around him for no particular reason. Then he looked at the phone once more. "Let's meet at Zone," he repeated now with a little crease between his brows.

"Why there?" he asked himself.

He wasn't sure why their meeting place changed. But he would comply anyway. And so, regaining his happy mood, Misaki dived into the sea of busy people towards where he was working. Zone Management.

* * *

The weather for that day was very nice. The sun's rays brightening everything on Usami Akihiko's eyes. Except that he wasn't being affected by anything. He had the darkness last night together with him. He didn't even think he could remove the grasp of the seething emotions in him. Anger. Nothing but pure anger was circling in his very being he felt he could even kill.

Nine in the morning, Usami Akihiko looked into the flashing green dots on top of his car stereo. It said the date and the time. How long had he been in that place?

He had been seating inside his car in some nameless street all night after meeting up with a certain young man. He didn't sleep. Not like he could after what he was told. His eyes was as sharp as blades as he watched the people passing by his car. Students on their way to their schools. Old people taking their early walks. Pet owners walking their dogs. Everything seemed so freaking normal and that was what infuriated the man even more.

Everything seemed normal from the very beginning and yet...all this time...

Usami Akihiko remembered how he stared at the face of a certain young man with a sense of familiarity. This blonde was the person Arisaka was yelling at the day he went to Zone to look for Misaki. The punk didn't even bother to look back even though the stylist was huffing with annoyance. And so the two of them were sitting in some quiet pub. All formalities forgotten they went straight right into business.

_"Don't give me that fucking grin young man and tell me why did you do it."_

_"Why should I?"_ the blonde smirked. Exhaling a puff of white smoke to the composer's face.

_"Because if you don't, I assure you you will fall down the gutters, your career will never recover."_

At this threat, the blonde's brow arched a little._ "Then throw me to prison. I don't care anyway."_

"Look. I am trying to be patient with you here. If I could I would have thrown your ass to the police but I didn't because I want to hear your side."

As a matter of fact, that was what the composer was planning. He didn't give a damn about the side of the person who stabbed Misaki. But the moment he saw the punk's face, something in his gut told him that the guy had something to say.

The blonde rested his handsome face on one of his hands, his elbow on the table. _"You sound like a lawyer."_

_"I have a degree,"_ the man answered coldly. He then pushed the envelope on the table to the blonde._ "I have all the evidence pointing to you. Finger prints, witnesses, everything. So give me a good reason why you did it. Why did you try attacking Io?"_

Shifting uncomfortably from his chair, the blonde looked at Usami. He thought he could shake the guy off from acting like a jerk. But the way the guy was looking at him, he already felt like he was being strangled. He then sighed.

_"Mister, if I tell you why, you won't throw me to the police, will you?"_

_"I didn't say that."_

_"Tsk..."_ the blonde grinned. _"I am cornered now, ain't I?"_ he sighed and took a deep drag. _"Fine...I'll spill it."_

Usami Akihiko wasn't even wearing a seatbelt. He pressed hard on the accelarator and left that street.

_"Io and I are lovers. Oh..."_ the blonde paused._ "Ex-lovers I mean."_

_Usami didn't comment or anything. He just listened._

_"So, I was a little envious that his career is soaring so faster than mine but I let it go since we're going out anyway. You know I could play with him all night I want and he just gives in."_

_"I really love that bastard to be honest. But when that damned contract between that Usami Akihiko composer the hell I care came, he suddenly broke up with me like there was nothing between us to begin with."_

Usami pressed his car horn a lot of times. Pissed at the car that stopped to drop an old woman in some corner.

_"So I confronted Io naturally. Guess what he told me? That he's interested with the composer ten years his senior! Fuck him!" the blonde hissed, taking another long drag from his cigarette._

_"If I know who that Usami AKihiko is, I wouldn't care if he's a living legend or not I'd punch him square on the face. So, there, we broke up. But I am the clingy type so I sent him my stupid love letters. Some death threats to scare the shit out of him, you know?"_

Finally after ten years, the old woman managed to get off the car with the help of a student who happened to pass and saw that the old woman was having a hard time. Usami pressed on the accelarator like mad and didn't care about the speed limit as he ran on the busy, bustling metropolitan.

_"And that fatty of a manager pisses the hell out of me too. He's a really crooked manager. He deceives many artists and takes a huge part of the hard earned money of the poor artists and claims them as his. So look at his body. He's about to burst!"_

Usami Akihiko could finally see the Zone Management building getting bigger as he got nearer. He didn't even stop the car in the parking lot. He stopped in front of the building itself. He moved out of it. His eyes with bad dark circles that only doubled the intense aura surrounding him. He slammed the door shut and walked with huge steps towards the entrance. His thin long blacksleeves almost showing how tight and tense his muscles in his body were.

_"Cut the long story short, fatty Riki-san saw me one time harassing Io. Well I did that just for fun anyway. But he reacted like crazy I wouldn't be surprised if one day he confesses he's gay and loves Io. I'd be dead disgusted for sure."_

The artists on the hallway had to give way at the man walking towards their direction. They could see that he was not the least bit happy and running into him smelled like trouble.

His intense gaze could see Io's private quarters on the fourth floor. He had been there many times.

_"Fatty threatened me he'd kick me out of Zone if I don't stop lingering around Io. I got sooo pissed at that. Because man, look, I entered Zone way before Io did. ZOne is acting like Io is their life," the blonde smirked while looking at the folder. "If only the world knew what they've been playing all along...I could already picture where they'd end up."_

_"What are you saying?"_

_"Mister...Io sure looks good. No argument with that. I am addicted to that bastard anyway. But that guy can't even sing a note even if it's the last thing he has to do to save his life."_

_"What?" Usami had a poker face._

_"I am the ex-lover. I know some of his dirty little secrets."_

Usami Akihiko stood by the red door huffing.

_"Zone thought that Io would be out of the picture fast even if he has a great face if he doesn't have a talent. So, they hired a shadow singer."_

_That time, Usami Akihiko felt like he didn't want to listen anymore. But he forced himself to. Even though he already had the picture at the back of his mind._

The silverhaired man knocked on the door. The knock became so strong as if he was planning to break open the door.

_"What's his name again? Ah...that guy had the same eye color with Io so I kinda liked him a little. Yeah...Takahashi Misaki? That punk had been singing all Io's albums. He had to be where Io is like a real shadow. I wonder what that VIP composer would do if he finds out. I would really die laughing."_

"Wait! Don't break the door! I'm coming!" a muffled voice of Io rang into Usami's ears.

_"So, on the fan's day of Io, I happen to come from a gig the night before and I am really wasted. And seeing all the crazy fans annoyed me so I decided I'd play a prank to Io. But to tell you I wasn't planning on stabbing him for real. The heat just got into me, plus the stupid girls screams really pissed me off. I was thinking if only they knew that they're beloved guy loves being fucked in his ass, what would they do? But I don't have any plan on saying that to the public because I still love that bastard. Okay so back to the fans day. I was drunk, it was so hot, those girls are pushing me like I'm some eyesore! The whole thing was hazy but when I saw Io with a man, I got really mad," the blonde paused to breath. "Oh...now that I think about it, you somehow resemble that guy. Anyway...I don't know what demon possessed me. The next thing I knew I was aiming for Io. But then I saw it was Takahashi on the ground bleeding. So naturally I scurried off. I amost pissed my pants because I didn't plan on hurting anybody for real."_

Usami did not stop from pounding hard against the door.

_"I really feel guilty because the shadow singer who doesn't have a clue about me got stabbed. He was even nice to me. But to tell you, I sometimes cringe at how Riki-san, Io, and the rest of Zone higher ups could maintain an innocent face while lying in front of the whole world. They're so thick-skinned. And that Shadow Singer? I don't know what's his deal but he gets tons of money from Riki-san in exchange for being a Shadow Singer, being a backup dancer and all."_

_Out of the blue, Usami grabbed the blonde by the collar. Their face so close that the younger man could feel the hot breath coming from the man before him._

_"If you're lying about all this, you'll die. Right here. Right now," the composer's voice was chilly._

_"Wh~why would I lie? You asked and I answered! That's it!"_

Io opened the door with his beautiful, innocent face in a frown. It instantly lit up when he realized it was Usami Akihiko. He was just wearing a robe. Just finished taking a shower for his next guesting. Since he just got out of the hospital, guestings about his experience with the stabbing incident and the sprain was a hot topic. A trending topic in all the social sites especially in Pixiv.

"Akihiko-san?" Io greeted happily. He didn't expect to see the man that day and he was just pleased that the composer even bothered to drive to Zone to see him. "Come in...I'll prepare you some tea."

The now brunette pop icon grimaced from shock when he felt the cold hand of the composer grabbed his arm. At any situation, he would have felt excited. But the fingers were digging rather painfully on his tender skin.

"A-Akihiko-san...what's the matter?" he asked nervously. The look on the lavender eyes was scary. It was as if he was looking into the eyes of a monster behind a handsome mask.

"Come with me."

The tall man pulled the confused Io by the arm, almost dragging the brunette down the floor towards the recording studio. He didn't care that Io was still in his bathrobe, still dripping wet. The other artists roaming around could only stare with interest at what was going on.

A thin woman dressed in a smartcasual way ran to Riki-san's office huffing and disturbed.

'"Riki-san! Fast! Usami Akihiko dragged Io to the recording studio! The people who saw them said the tall man looked really mad. What do we do? What if he knows already?"

"Shut up Suzuha! Don't panic."

And so, calmly, the manager of Io walked towards the recording studio. Him being followed by the sounds technician and the other persons involved with Io's secret. Riki-san walked camly, but his insides were shaking.

* * *

Usami Akihiko, who had always been kind and gentle to the Io, threw the teen inside the recording room. Usami who had his own studio at home pressed all the necessary buttons to make everything working. Io who was prison inside the small padded room looked at the composer with fear in his eyes through the wide glass panel that separated them.

"Sing," Usami ordered in a microphone. His voice bounced in all the corners of the padded room where Io was trapped.

"But~~A-aki-"

"Don't make me repeat myself Io. Sing!"

The teen didn't know for how long he stood motionless inside the studio. His hands who was always cool were sweaty he pathetically wiped them againts his white robe. He looked at Usami Akihiko. Io seemed about to cry. He didn't like that look. It was crushing him. Before he knew it, the tears hot from his eyes fell on his flushed cheeks.

The door flew open behind Usami Akihiko's back. The whole Zone Management higher up appeared with all confused faces as their gazes darted from the tear-streaked Io behind the glass panel, and Usami Akihiko who was standing before the hundreds of buttons used for recording. It was Riki who had the guts to step up and walked towards the composer who didn't even flinch even after they arrived.

The door was teeming with the other artists wanting to know what the commotion was.

"Usami Akihiko-san...what is happening here? Io...he's crying there."

"I am just asking him to sing. That's what a singer does," Usami replied in a voice that silenced the entire room.

Riki laughed forcefully. "I told you about Io's trauma right? Usa~"

"Don't give me that shit."

* * *

No one noticed Misaki arrive in Zone. He wondered where the people was. Usually everyone was in the lobby killing time. But that day, there was only a few people he could see loitering around.

Still not being bothered, Misaki walked leisurely towards the stairs. He fished his phone to check for a text message from Usagi-san. He was already in Zone, he just have to find the composer then. So, bright as the sun outside, Misaki happily continued his slow walk.

"Where could he be?" Misaki asked himself. "Ah...probably in Riki-san's office?"

Misaki walked silently, his hood swaying behind his shoulders. He looked shocked when he felt a hand grab his arm.

"Ogawa-san?" Misaki asked surprised. Ogawa was one of the music technicians who connects all the components from Misaki's booth to the main sound system whenever Io had to go live. The look on the slightly tanned man's face wasn't so good.

"We're in an emergency now. I don't know if it's god's doing you're here at a time like this but come with me. You have to sing now."

"Ha?!" Misaki blurted, getting more confused by the minute.

He let the man drag him to the familiar room. It was just beside the recording studio where Usami and the rest was. No one noticed the pair get inside. All attention was focused on the happening inside the recording studio B.

That room has been there for as long as Misaki could remember. Each time there was a TV show that wanted to do a reality check on Io, they wanted to see how the recording of the songs were being done. Naturally like it was normal, Io would stand proudly inside the padded room and act like he was singing. All the while Misaki was in that room beside the studio singing out. It didn't happen often. But now Misaki was getting nervous. There were so many people outside the recording studio. and he just arrived but he was already being asked to sing.

"Come on..don't fail us Takahashi-kun," the man said like he was almost begging.

He placed the headsets, fixed the microphone and within a matter of seconds, Misaki who had no idea what was going on was ready to go on air.

"If you see this button go red, start singing. We're going acapella now. Sing the song Usami Akihiko composed for Io."

At the mention of the name, Misaki already new something was already wrong. Gravely wrong. But Ogawa left him standing there and was left to just stare at the green button in front of him. It was not the first time he did this so he was fine with it. But the nagging feeling in his chest was getting heavier by the second.

Ogawa forced his way in the pack of people and successfully reached Riki-san who was standing just beside the silent composer. The music technician whispered something to Riki.

"Ahahaha...Io you punk," the manager started to joke. "The great composer is asking you to sing...just a line will do yes?"

Usami Akihiko, without them knowing was looking at everyone through the reflection the glass panel was giving. It was just very subtle but to a man whose senses were being sharpened by anger, nothing will go unnoticed. Riki-san's finger made a circular motion.

Io whose eyes had gone red wiped them off with his hand and drew a deep breath.

And like nothing happened, the voice that everyone has been waiting flew out of the controlled speakers. The people who still had no idea forgot why they were there and just listened to the song with no background music. Just acapella. Pure voice only.

"Lying how I feel...I just can't handle...I just can't deal."

Out of the blue, the composer who had been silent the entire time stormed out of the room. The sea of people had to give way. The commanding and strong presence was just too much to defy and they were all left staring in awe at the almost royalty walking in the midst of them.

Riki-san and the rest of the people of Zone management didn't know what to do anymore. Io was already singing. What else did the composer want?

Lavender eyes burning on the floor, Usami Akihiko stopped in front of a door with no sign or anything. Just plain brown, boring door.

Usami AKihiko rested his hand on the knob as if hesitating.

The people from the recording studio, led by Riki and the other higher-ups stood frozen as they look at the man in front of that forbidden door.

_"If you don't believe me then look at the room to the left of Recording Studio B! That's where they do their magic during reality checks!" the blonde hissed._

Usami out of anger, frustration and madness kicked the door open. He didn't want to believe one bit of everything the blonde told him. But there he was, seeing Takahashi Misaki's back at him. Holding the huge headsets in place with his hands.

The boy didn't notice anything outside. He was in a sound proof booth still singing.

Slowly, the composer walked towards the booth. When he opened the clear door, Misaki's voice clearly drowned him. The reality was sounding so crisp and clear. The sound of the truth that everything was a lie vibrating inside his eardrums he wanted it to stop. Stop forever.

Misaki for no reason had the urge to look behind him. And when he did, the huge headset slid off his head and fell loudly on the floor.

The teen felt like he was struck with something heavy, his breath got stuck on his throat as he stood, eye to eye with Usami Akihiko, the great composer, his Usagi-san. He wasn't able to continue singing. The two of them just stared into each other's eyes. It was like there was nothing else at that moment. Lavender eyes seething in anger, green eyes cowering in fear.

"Usagi...san..." the teen muttered.

Feeling like he was having a nightmare while awake, Misaki watched the composer take small steps towards him. Misaki wanted to run. He wanted to hide. But he also wanted to explain. So he started forcing his shaking legs to walk towards the man whose expression was hidden by his hair which was always fixed neatly but that time they were all over the place.

"Let me explain...Usa~"

Misaki gasped. The people outside that secret room gasped. They all watched Misaki's body hit the steel cabinet on his side. Usami slapped the teen this time with all intention. With all force he could muster. With all his emotions.

"No...Usagi-san...I can explain..." Misaki croaked as he tried to stand from the painful landing he just experienced. It was salty, rustic and hot. He could taste his own blood.

But the composer just stood there. Not a trace of remorse, pity or anything human can be seen. He just stared at Misaki like how an elite would look at a trash.

Misaki didn't know anymore if his pain was coming from his cheek, or his wound he got from the stabbing incident. But he was sure with one thing. His heart, was hurting so much he couldn't take it. He couldn't take in that his breathing turned into gasping.

Misaki felt like he was choking.

_Don't look at me like that...please...Usagi-san...listen..._

"Usagi-san..." Misaki tried again, not caring about his busted lip, or his aching body. He tried to stand despite his legs feeling like they would give out anytime.

"This...this thing...I could explain them, everything..." Misaki begged.

"So gold digger...did you enjoy making a fool of me?"

Misaki was left speechless. He couldn't even ran after Usagi-san when the man turned to leave. He was so ashamed and dizzy and hurt he felt like dying right there and then.

When the composer passed by the trembling Riki, he halted. "I'll make sure Zone will be gone by tomorrow."

That time, silent tears fell from Misaki's blurry eyes. He watched the composer disappear in front of him. He was just so happy a while ago. He was even drowning in his fantasies last night. They even shared a sweet kiss the other day. _Why now? Why now?_

* * *

**chapter end notes!**

YEY! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE TWOCHAPTER UPDATE TONIGHT!^^

please leave a review and thank you for your time!

FYI: Pixiv is like the Facebook of Japan.^^

-shuusetsu

ps: _**HUGS AND KISSES TO WHOEVER THE 300TH REVIEWER WILL BE!:**_***:・(^∀^)・:*:**


	16. Abandoned

Thank you as always for the support. And uhmm...hahaha...I'm nervous..LoL..anyway here it goes!^^

* * *

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

**Abandoned**

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

* * *

Tears were always hot and cold on the face at the same time. They dry off after a couple of minutes and no trace would be left visible. Just like there was nothing that happened. If only feelings were exactly like that, there wouldn't be any problem.

Misaki stared in front of the huge mirror. His face, well a blur. He couldn't see it clearly but the throbbing on his skin was as clear as the reality that everything was real. The pain on his cheek was a reminder that unlike last time, this was the reality. It wasn't just a dream.

With shaking fingers, he dabbed a sponge on a foundation and started dabbing it lightly in his cheek.

"Ahaha, it's getting wet..." Misaki muttered as he once again dabbed the sponge in the flat container. He made sure that this time, the foundation was thick enough to stick on his raw skin.

A soft creak caught Misaki's attention. Like a door carefully being opened so the one inside won't run away hiding. He looked at the man from the mirror and started dabbing the sponge on his swollen face while maintaining a poker face.

"Misaki..." Arisaka started. "Please don't dab foundation on your face. You need cold compress."

Arisaka watched his friend struggle to stiffle a sob. Misaki just dabbed on the skin erasing the redness. Arisaka sighed, his face who was always annoyed when Misaki pretends to be strong was now pained. He took careful steps towards the sitting boy. He raised both his warm hands and rested them on both Misaki's frail shoulders.

"Misaki, if you want to cry, cry. It wouldn't do you any good to swallow them all."

Their eyes met through the mirror. Misaki smiled weakly. The hand with the sponge touched the hand on his shoulder and squeezed it hard. And the shoulders under Arisaka's hands, started to tremble.

"This is inevitable Misaki...but this doesn't mean it's the end right? You'll pass this."

"Arisaka-san... he hates me. He didn't even hear me out," the small voice nothing but a breath.

Arisaka had always known Misaki to be a very nice person to the point that it was annoying. But he couldn't also deny the fact that this was the most terrible face he had ever seen from his young friend. He started to feel his eyes go sore as well. He doesn't want Misaki to see him cry. And so he removed his one hand from Misaki's shoulder and placed them on Misaki's eyes. Blocking the teen's view. His hand felt wet from Misaki's tears.

* * *

"Come on Usami will you consider your actions first? You're always the more sensible one between us, but you're so messed up now."

Hidori rested his back against the wall. The part where it was still dry. The composer had a rampage and had been drinking since midmorning. And as if he wasn't satisfied with it, he smashed all the expensive bottles and its contents against the cream coloring of his music studio. The million-yen antique piano in the middle a puddle of mess. Huge speakers tumbled down. CDs, trophies, music plaques, music sheets, everything Usami Akihiko had been using with care lying carelessly somewhere on the floor, abandoned.

Facing the huge window of darkness, seated at the edge of the huge mahogany table, it was only the man's back that Hidori could see. He frowned at the mess and ran a tired hand on his face.

"So, we finally know now why Io couldn't sing in front of you. We now know that Zone deceived you. I totally understand where you're coming from. But Usami, what about the other people working in that agency who don't know a thing about this? Where will they go?"

Hidori started to think he was talking to a wall. There was not a slight sign that his friend was listening the least bit.

"If you sue Zone, Usami you would have to show your mug in court and you know that very well. This is surely going to be a nationwide scandal, everyone will see who you really are and the lowprofile you tried so hard to keep will be exposed. Are you fine with that?"

No reply.

"Besides Usami, the music you composed for Io isn't released yet. We can just take everything and end the contract."

_That's not it..._

"We will charge Zone a huge amount of money for compensation and a agreement that they will never be able to get you compose a song for anyone in their agency. Take back the money you invested. Usami, I don't understand why you're being like this, but like we always do, settle this in a diplomatic and discreet way."

_That's not it..._

"Usami, what now?"

Deaf to everything, Usami gazed blankly at the night. Just last night, everything was sparkling. Just last night, he had so many plans and dreams. But it was all swept away as if a sand castle on the seashore. Completely swept by the raging waves. And the storm hasn't even arrived yet.

"Money, lies, pretentions..." he whispered, lifting his palm. It was still throbbing. It was still hot. It was screaming pain.

_"If you don't mind, can I have your authograph?"_

Liar.

_"I just remembered something...sorry."_

You knew from the very beginning...

_"Aki-chan...why do you have Misa-nii's voice? Does he also sing for you?"_

I should have listened to her.

_"I-I'm sorry...but I can't sing,"_

Fucking liar.

_"Don't...don't you have a nick name...?"_

You're such a great actor...

_"Usagi-san?"_

I completely fell to everything you showed me.

_"Because you look so hurt! You won't cry openly and it makes me sad and pissed off!"_

I believed you.

_"He gets tons of money..."_

I should have known...

_"This...this thing...I could explain them, everything..."_

What's there to explain?

* * *

"Do what you want Hidori. I don't fucking care anymore."

* * *

Twenty seven hours of no sleep. Twenty seven hours lacking of appetite. Twenty seven hours of staring into that huge, white door. Misaki felt his eyes was so dry as if there was sand in it. But he didn't care. He just sat on the floor, knees to his chest, waiting. Waiting for whatever will happen to him.

The time after Usami Akihiko left the Zone Management building, the owner and president of the company itself arrived that evening. The president was an old woman who rarely showed her face in the place. And that evening, she arrived with a grave expression on her face Misaki knew already that his future was swaying on an uncertain current.

Shiiba Inoue, the president, turned out to have no inkling that there was something as this going on in her company. She had placed a lot of trust to Riki. Almost Riki was the one looking over everything. And when she received a phone call from the great composer's side, she couldn't believe it. It wasn't just that the investments were to be pulled out. It wasn't just that the company would also have to pay a huge sum to compensate. It was the disgrace of being involved into something hideous as that.

She thought that Io was a pure raw talent. A diamond amongst the other gems they were polishing. But she was completely wrong. Not only that but Riki-san was the mastermind. Who Takahashi Misaki was, the shadow singer she didn't know. But she had resigned herself to fire everyone involved. She would not tolerate such activties in the company she worked so hard to build.

"Please, Shiiba-sama...I mean you can't just fire me after all the hardwork I put into this company!" Riki complained, standing before the huge table. The president just looked at him idly.

"We're done talking Riki," she looked at a woman wearing all black standing by her side the whole time. "Tell Io and the other boy to come in."

* * *

The sound of metal creaking rythmically was the only thing that told Misaki he was still in the same nightmare and that waking up would take a lot of time. He endlessly walked aimlessly in the crowd of people. His heavy, shaking and weak legs brought him to where he was sitting now. A quiet, dark and deserted children's park. And like a young child wanting to find a refuge, Misaki squeezed himself into the childsize swing. Rocking himself forward and backward.

"I knew this would be coming," he muttered alone.

His grip on his phone tightened. His chest a balloon about to burst. He had never imagined that the evening could be this dark.

Everyone was talking at the same time, Misaki could remember. Their faces in different reactions and if he was not in a serious situation he would have laughed out loud. Their voices seemed high pitched, their body gestures didn't make any sense.

He remained standing like a statue beside Io who was as if not the least bit bothered by what was going on. Io looked refreshed, every strand of his hair still fell perfectly on his face. While Misaki haven't had a shower, or even a wink of rest at all. Compared to his pathetic appearance, Io still carried himself with confidence despite the demeaning situation he was in. And Misaki from the very depths of his being envied this side of Io. Strong if not thick-skinned, confident if not arrogant.

The white room hurt Misaki's eyes. The walls were white and the lighting was too bright. It gave a feeling of a room shrinking. The look of it was suffocating. But no matter how much Misaki wanted to puke, he strenghtened his stomach and gazed at the old woman that was exuding authority.

She was thin, her hair white, yet her gray eyes was enough to shaken Misaki. She looked at the two teen with scrutinizing gaze as if she could see more than their shells. After what seemed like forever, she sighed and clicked her tongue, eyeing Io.

"You know Io, I am very disappointed. But what's done's done. I already arranged a conference for you tomorrow about your sudden decision to study abroad. You know why we're doing this, correct?" the woman raised a brow at Io.

"Yes, I understand."

There was no way they could allow Io continue his career after that revelation. It was one of the conditions of the composer's side for them not to sue Zone. And though it was sudden and suspicious, a conference for studying abroad was better than having the pop icon disappear so suddenly without so much as a warning for his fans.

The woman satisfied that she already made her point then looked at the other teen before her. "And Takahashi Misaki?"

Misaki felt like he was going to have heart attack. He gathered everything of the thing called courage to lift his gaze and face the lady.

"Riki hired you but he didn't put your name under the regular employees or talents of this company. I assume you already know that I am not aware of this shadow singing thing. I want all our talents to be...well talented. Back to your case, in the eyes of contracts, yours is void. You don't think of exploiting this secret to the media, do you?"

"No! I wasn't thinking that way..."

"Well, Takahashi, I am running a business here and not a charity. You'll receive an ample amount of money to keep quiet, but I am asking you kindly leave Zone. As of the moment you no longer belong in this company. And I am begging you not to show in here anymore."

Misaki just looked at the green plant behind the woman. Its leaves sticking out. He wasn't aware anymore of what was happening. The woman's stilettos clicking against the tiled floor. The quiet hum of the aircondition, and Io's cool voice.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted," Io muttered. Misaki didn't know if Io was really that carefree. He was completely cool about it.

"Thrown abroad to rot, who knows, I might be successful there? What do you think Takahashi?"

The world was a ball of uncertainty. Misaki just couldn't comprehend why when everything was going so well, the cruel hands of fate would turn the tables to him. If this was how it was going to be, it must have been better if he didn't experience much happiness and contentment in what he was doing.

"Takahashi, did you know I am jealous of you?"

Confusion in his eyes, Misaki looked at Io questionably. "...?"

Misaki wasn't so sure what was happening, but he felt Io's hand clasp his own hard and sweating fingers. He looked at the artist who've been using his voice for three months. Green eyes to green eyes, and surprisingly, there was something similar to them. A connection that wasn't there before. Perhaps because both of them were being thrown out of Zone.

"The problem with you, is that your too nice. You should have fought back to me when I was being a jerk to you."

"What are you talking about now?"

"Nothing," Io released his grasp and smiled proudly. "Aren't you glad we worked together even for a short period of time? To be honest, I was expecting something worse than this."

"Io..."

"Don't get me wrong Takahashi. We're still not friends," Io added before turning to leave. "This might be the end here in Zone, but I'll come back and show you I am still better. I'm not giving up yet."

* * *

Misaki laughed at Io's challenge. How could he possibly worry about that when he had more to think about? He stretched out his legs on the dusty ground and looked up. Summer, and there was no star that night. Weird. Were they hiding as well from him?

He rubbed his eyes. Sleepiness and tiredness kicking in. And yet he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. His mind was just a blur of problems and he had no idea how he would face them one by one.

His blind and crippled brother had to be hospitalized for who knew how long. The rent in the apartment that his brother painstakingly paid when he was still normal was almost due. Expenses a normal human being accumulates to survive, they were all knocking at Misaki's door step. And the worst part was...a picture of a man slapping him hard on the face repeated in his mind over and over again while hearing "gold digger" from somewhere. He just stared ahead with a vacant gaze, feeling about to lose his sanity any moment.

Staring blankly ahead, Misaki now finally realize why the building not far from him was always calling his attention. About fourty floors, the building was like a gold standing proudly in the night. Misaki knew he was familiar with it.

"Nikaowa School of Music..."

He was moving without consulting his brains. He just jumped out of the swing, and ran towards the building. He ran a seemingly endless sidewalk. His hair flying behind him, his breath getting ragged, wincing every now and then as he rested his free hand on top of his left abdominal side. It was painful. Kind of itchy at some level but it was coming from the inside. But he kept on running even though he shouldn't.

If any gods would allow him to meet the composer just for a short while and explain his side, even if Usagi-san remained angry at him, he would be satisfied. He just really want to tell the man that he didn't mean to lie. That he wasn't doing it for money. That he...he haven't openly confessed. Too late for that.

'I just want to apologize..."

It was nine thirty in the evening. Office hours had long since been out. What was he thinking?

Panting, his hair and his white shirt from the other day sticking into his body, Misaki raised his head at the very top of the building. The more he lifted his head towards the sky, the more it felt like the building was about to collapse on him. People passing by were looking at him curiously. He was definitely acting suspicious like a burglar.

Losing hope, miserable and thirsty, Misaki sat at one of the steps outside the building. Wishing, praying, hoping that Usagi-san was there, step out and face him. The red and yellow lights of cars reflecting in Misaki's eyes, he rested his hand again on the side where his wound was.

"Sticky?" he blurted as he felt a warm sensation against his fingertips.

His hair standing at its ends, Misaki gulped as he tried to lift his jacket a little to look into his white shirt. It wasn't white anymore. Even in the shadows, he could see his own blood plastering his shirt on his sweaty skin.

Panic arising at the thought of his already healing wound opening once again, Misaki stood. Whirled around not knowing what to do.

"Usagi-san..." Misaki whispered desperately as he crouched back on the steps.

People thought Misaki was just one of those teens with problems and not wanting to involve themselves with a troublesome kid, they moved as fast as possible just to make a distance from him. The world was a cruel place many tried to not believe.

Prayer answered like a scene from a fairy tale. Usami Akihiko walked out of the automatic sliding doors with his usual grace. His gaze at his watch not noticing Misaki at the very end of the steps. The soles of his shoes clicking loudly at Misaki's ears, the teen raised his pale face.

"Usagi-san!" he called out standing, his jacket falling back into place. Misaki even found it surprising that the discomfort he was feeling just a while ago disappeared in an instant.

The tall man paused and his gaze met the dark-green eyes staring at him with so much expectations. He didn't want it, but his lavender eyes stared back coldly on its own. And the teen must have sensed it for on his face flashed a hurt look. Nevertheless, Misaki took little steps forward. Towards Usami Akihiko. Looking up at the man while he was at the lower steps made Misaki realize how far they were in all aspects.

"Usagi-san, I know you are mad at me," Misaki started, not wasting any seconds more. "But if you could just listen to me..."

"If it's about the Io thing and you being a shadow singer, and you knowing who I was all along and you being a money sucker that you are, don't worry. I already settled that with Zone."

Misaki watched the man descend from the steps, pass him by.

"Usagi-san, I didn't mean to lie to you! I have reasons! That's why I came to here to explain! Why won't you listen to me?"

A shining black sedan parked before Usami and an old man Misaki was familiar with opened the door fo him. Usami Akihiko threw the leather case he was holding on one hand inside and threw a piercing glance at Misaki.

"I'm sorry really Takahashi Misaki, but I've had enough of your acting abilities to still be deceived at this point."

Colder than ice itself, the man hopped inside the car and closed the door. Ready to leave, he found himself looking at a crying Misaki knocking through the tinted windows.

"I won't bother you anymore. Just listen to my side. I am not forcing you to believe me but please hear me out!"

The muffled voice filled the interior of the car. The man inside pushed the 'down'' button and immediately the car window rolled down. Misaki's face lit up for a moment.

"What? Are you going to ask me for money now that you lost your big time racket?" the lavender eyes menacing. "Drive."

The teen just stood there on the sidewalk. Watching the black car disappeare into the night.

"What would make you listen to me Usagi-san?"

To be brushed off like a real trash was the most painful thing anyone could ever face. The cars combined into a huge jumble, before him. A blur of colors and speed that just blurred into his eyes.

* * *

He looked small and pitiful in the eyes of one man. His back shaking, his hand rubbing his eyes as if trying to erase his face with the act.

It was not in his plan to drive that way. But he knew now why he chose that route.

"Takahashi-kun?" he muttered, his head sticking out of the car.

Turning his face towards the voice, his heart completely sunk and gave out. Misaki badly wanted someone to listen to him. "Ijuuin-san..."

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

SORRY! I am making Usagi-san a jerk! Please be patient with ME though...I do have reasons for

oh i have a lot of sorries to do..haha..FOR A LITTLE DELAYED UPDATE, FOR EVERYTHING! I WISH YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER AND THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT!

-shuusetsu..(i'll never get tired of listening to KISHIDOU CLUB BL DRAMA CD) HAHAHA


	17. You Don't See Me

Hi everyone! I may be gone for a day or two so there may be a delay for the next chapter so i decided to make this update! i am so proud i did half of this chapter inside the trains. PRAISE ME! lol..kidding...i wish you enjoy this chappy. i enjoyed writing this and was grinning like some lunatic all by myself in the crowded trains imagining your faces/hahahah... ARGH CUT THE BABBLERING...here you go^^

* * *

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

**■■■You Don't See Me■■■**

**。。。。。。。。**

* * *

Eyes darker than the night, face as grim as his foul mood, he fixed his gaze ahead of him. Luckily for him there was no traffic. He could easily circle the night without hassle.

Driving aimlessly, driving without direction in a busy street seemed like stupid. But this has been a way for Ijuuin Kyo to escape his boredom and irritation. He kind of snickered remembering how his music sounded "dead" to a certain someone. Perhaps the reason was because he gathered his inspiration in the streets full of cars bustling, tall buildings and people walking like the dead going back to their homes, to somewhere, to anywhere.

Meetings about the upcoming Sonate Music Competition was rubbing on him a little too much. He wasn't even the type to enjoy such gatherings. But since he was too celebrated as a composer as well, much to his disadvantage, he had to sit, and listen all day to the sponsors, to the old people who should have been in their homes resting, to practically the people who have a say.

The competition had become an event of showing off to most of composers about how successful they were, how their students would follow their foot steps and such. The real essence of bringing out new talents from the shadows was slowly being used as a way to market goods and products that don't really have anything to do with music. But of course, there have to be sponsors to create such a huge event anyway so he left it at that. Though he wasn't happy being stuck with them plastering his gorgoeus yet fake smile, he still get on with it.

_Work is work after all_, he exhaled as he popped a CD in his player when the traffic lights turned red.

His brows met into a frown. "I still don't get what's so good about this Canon..." he mumbled. Everynight when he went driving, it somehow became a habit to pop that Pachelbel CD Takahashi Misaki had put back to the rack the first time they had an encounter. He still couldn't find the reason what was so good about the happy, jumpy melody filling inside his black Lexus 350.

Pressing on the accelarator, he noticed his phone on the passenger seat vibrating. He stole a quick glance. "Fuji".

"I told him not to call me...that moron..."

His white gold bracelet with small greek letterings slid down on his wrist as he reached out for the phone. Swiping with such fast speed, the phone was already in loudspeaker back on the passenger seat.

"What now Fuji Apple?" Ijuuin scowled.

_"Will you please stop with the 'Fuji Apple' thing? Seriously, if you're that bored just do some work."_

"Haven't I been working the whole day? Are you my mom?"

_"If sitting and drowsing while pretending to be listening could be called work, I'll resign as your secretary."_

Ijuuin smiled a little. Fuji was a friend he met in music school. Though the man tried his best in the music industry, he just didn't have the qualifications. And thus, since Fuji really had a huge respect and expectation from Ijuuin Kyo whom everyone called as a protege back in their student days, he resigned himself to follow the guy everywhere. But Fuji started to doubt if he made the right choice when he came to know the "BlackMedley".

Easy to get bored. Loved to tease people already on edge. Laziest person he could ever think of. And very picky when it comes to people he really associated himself with, and the hardest thing to comprehend about the man was what was going on behind his smile. He always seemed to have something behind his head. And Fuji finds it creepy at times.

"Oi, I've been hearing you rant the entire day so will you please make this quick?" Ijuuin grunted as he slowed down at a U-turn.

_"Well, the panel sent me a message this afternoon asking if you have already picked someone to represent you...plus..."_

"What? Why are they all in a hurry about that stuff, we just talked about it this morning? And you know I don't have one yet."

_"Come on, of course they wanted to make a background check to the candidates."_

"Tsk...is this a beauty pageant?"

Fuji forced himself not to sound about to burst out laughing. _"Well, don't act like you don't know the drill. You came out from the competition yourself."_

"Yeah yeah..." Ijuuin mumbled turning his head left and right and noticing a few people standing like drunkards on the side street.

The road that glittered from the backlights of the cars ahead of him reflected in his eyes. He continued driving, he had the goal of having his gas tank empty that night.

_"The panel is saying that you and Usami Akihiko is always a pain,"_ the voice continued, making Ijuuin look at the phone for a moment.

"Really?"

_"Well, he said he doesn't have one yet as well...and he only showed in the morning meetings and disappeared after."_

'See? Im still better than him," Ijuuin said coolly as he slowed down to give way to a cat passing by in some street he didn't know himself. He had gone off the main road and was circling some quiet neighborhood.

_"What better? You don't act like you're there anyway."_

Ijuuin was silent for a while as he waited for the cat. It looked like it was a little limp. The cat raised its head as if telling Ijuuin to wait a little longer. Its eyes a glowing yellow green.

_"Oh right, this also just came in. You know Io right?"_

"Hmm..." Ijuuin boredly replied finally being able to continue his drive.

_"Io is rumored to be Usami Akihiko's representative in Sonate, did you know? But he decided to study abroad so suddenly. There is a rumor spreading around that he probably got some teen star pregnant. Zone organized a conference for it tomorrow."_

Ijuuin pressed on the break and stared at his phone.

"He's leaving suddenly huh?"

_"Yeah. Isn't it odd? His career is really shooting off right now and he decides to leave it."_

Out of the blue, Ijuuin laughed out loud. Fuji could hear the man laughing merrily from his speakers he had to frown at the sudden outburst.

_"Oi...Ijuuin, I know you have some lose screws in your head, but please act like you're normal. I am being serious here!"_

Ijuuin had to grip the steering wheel tighter before finally gathering back his composure. He was still smiling though.

"Sorry...I just thought of something funny. He probably knows now."

_"Who's 'he'? Knows what?"_

"I'm hanging up..."

_"Oi! Ijuuin! Damn y~"_

The man let a couple of minutes to pass by in silence as he tried to process the information in his bored brain. He kept that knowledge that Misaki was lying to Usami for the sake of his own amusement. Waiting what would happen if his rival composer found out about it. He laughed when he heard about it, but in reality, he wasn;t feeling anything. Because he knew, he could read from that Misaki's face that the boy was somehow to that Usami...

He took a gum out of his dark blue polo and unwrapped it. Pondering hard about it, he wasn't interested with Takahashi Misaki. He was just intrigued amused. Someone that stirred his brain. But if he had to admit one thing, the air around the boy was comforting and quiet. And he enjoyed it that was why he tried to find some time to stick his nose around Takahashi Misaki.

"So, secret is out...poor Usami must have been devastated," he muttered while crushing the white ball in his mouth, the mint exploding on his tongue, his breathing relaxing as the icy sensation floated up to his nose.

He raised a brow at his face through the rearview mirror. "You're boredom is about to be quenched now, aren't you glad?"

Waiting for the right opportunity to get what he wanted without appearing too bold was his expertise. That was even the reason the friendship he and Usami had before shattered into thin air, left unspoken like some curse never to be uttered once more.

He continued driving into the dry night. Feeling a little tired with his airconditioning at its peak blowing at his face, he turned it off and rolled his windows down to let air wash out the tension that somehow build inside his body without him knowing. The tension of having fun arising in his chest, he couldn't contain it. He just want something to amuse himself, who would have thought he'd straightly be directed to none other than Takahashi Misaki?

* * *

He noticed a boy standing on the side walk. He couldn't see who it was at first because the back was facing him. So he drove past the kid. A nagging feeling told him to glance back through the rear view mirror though. And without him knowing he had stopped in the middle of the road, his foot just pressed on the break on its own. Thankfully there wasn't a lot of car that time, he just swiftly maneuvered his car to pull over the side. He drove backwards slowly but Misaki was too absorbed in whatever he was thinking too notice a dark car pull over to his side.

Ijuuin stopped the car the moment he got to see the profile of the boy. Despite the shadows and night, he was pale. Looking ahead of him like he was an abandoned puppy. Ijuuin leaned his body to the window and was about to call out. Ask the kid for some tea or night snack or something. But he found himself unable to speak.

For some weird reason he just looked at the boy for a while. Watched how the other people pass him by like he didn't exist there. Watch him take a side step just so he could give way to others while still blankly looking in front of him. As if he was sorting out or trying to make out something out of the cars on the road. Misaki obviously cried, but he wasn't anymore. He just stood like a part of the street that people have already taken for granted.

The boy raised what seemed like his phone in front of his face. The pale light making Misaki's complexion worse than it had before. The boy was talking to someone. But the words was too soft to hear. They just sounded like an indistinct chirping of birds to Ijuuin. From the profile, Ijuuin narrowed his eyes as he noticed the boy ran his hand over his side like he was rubbing it.

"Really! I'm just busy with work! There's a lot going in Zone you know...Don't worry about me...Nii-chan I am not a kid anymore. I am stronger than I look like..."

The voice sounded fine. Lively even. And yet, Ijuuin could see how the fine brows move in what seemed like a discomforted manner. The short talk ended. Misaki stared once more into space. He kept rubbing his side. He raised the free hand on his face, to rub off something. Dirt, his hair against his eyes, no one knew.

Before he could even stop himself, he had called the boy from the open window of his car. "Takahashi-kun?"

Ijuuin didn't know whether to laugh or feel bad or what at Misaki's expression. The boy clearly wasn't expecting him to appear in front of him, he thought.

"Ijuuin-san?"

His object of amusement was there in front of him, but seeing the boy like that; completely drained, messy hair, glassy eyes, a face contorted to many emotions he couldn't make out, he wasn't clearly being amused by it. Instead, strangely he got pissed off.

He opened the door and walked towards Misaki. Staring closely, he could clearly see another bruise again on the teen's face. He frowned. "It's late, what are you doing around here?"

Misaki just looked at him.

"Feels like I'm being stared in a very bad way," he mumbled. Ijuuin sighed and scratched the back of his head lightly while looking around. He clearly looked like some rich man picking up prostitutes on the streets. A male at that.

He just then grabbed Misaki's arm lightly and pulled the boy towards his parked car. He let him get inside, with which Misaki didn't complain. He just followed like a ragdoll, too tired and messy to raise up any more objections.

"Shouldn't you be in the hospital right now? You sure love getting slapped do you? First time I saw you you also have..."

Ijuuin just said it to lighten the mood. A sort of joke, he was thinking. But he shut up when Misaki's lips started quivering. The kid clearly was trying hard not to cry. Perhaps because crying in front of another man was crazy. Though Ijuuin already had a picture where the teen got the bruise on his face and why the boy was looking like the dead himself. Defeated, knowing that it was clearly not the time to kid or push the kid cowering deeper, Ijuuin rolled the windows up, started the airconditioning and glanced once more at Misaki.

"Okay, here, I'll listen to you whatever it is or how long you wish to rant, but not here okay? Do you wish to go anywhere? Or I'll bring you back to the hospital?"

The teen looked the other way. Rested his head against the glass window and exhaled.

Based on the older man's observations, Misaki was dead tired. But it was the kind of tiredness that resting would never be able to take away. He had that same situation himself. He knew that look.

"Somewhere...quiet please."

* * *

_Somewhere quiet_? Ijuuined asked himself while staring ahead the emptying road. That was something too broad and there was a lot of holes into it. If he was some perverted man, a quiet place was something red. However for him, a quiet place was some place where he could stare at an empty space, while drinking any kind of hot drink.. He wasn't into drinking alcohol anyway. He stopped long ago. _A quiet place..._

He glanced at Misaki one last time and made a U-turn, back to the place he just visited a while ago. Ueno Park.

One would get really get tired with the noise and busy atmosphere in Tokyo. And when he got himself tired of driving, his refuge was the peace and quiet that the park offered, specially at night. Located in the midst of Tokyo, Ijuuin would just sit at whatever bench he felt like sitting on and spend hours like that. There were so many parks to kill time...but Ueno park was his choice. And so, Misaki blinked a couple of times when he realized they already stopped. He looked a little questioningly at the man but kept shut whatever question was running inside his obviously messed up head.

"Just sit wherever you like," Ijuuin offered. There was the ground littered with dried leaves, and grass. Or the benches on the side facing the huge trees about to turn into explosive reds and golds in one months time.

The teen sat on the ground, resting his back against the tree.

Eyeing the boy, Ijuuin stepped back. "I'll go buy us some drink...take your time."

He left Misaki alone because he knew how that sealed-lip kid had so tried hard to stop crying in front of him. And though buying milk tea and coffee from a vendo machine didn't even take 5 minutes, Ijuuin kept quietly a good distance at Misaki who, even though from afar was obviously crying.

Ijuuin sighed and shook the warm cans in both his hands. "Summer and you're offering something warm? What were you thinking?" Ijuuin muttered staring at a row of trees that seemed to give a glow despite the night. At the corner of his eyes, he watched Misaki.

* * *

"Hmmm, feeling better?" Ijuuin broke Misaki''s silence by extending the now cold can of milk tea.

Misaki smiled and took the can with both hands. "Sorry for the trouble, thank you."

_"Finally..."_ Ijuuin exhaled feeling a sense of relief for some reason.

He didn't sit beside the kid. He just remained standing, drinking his coffee, glancing every now and then at Misaki who was sipping his milk tea with clumsy hands. They remained like that for a long time.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ijuuin asked looking down.

"You're such a nice person, aren't you Ijuuin-san?"

"What's with the formality all of a sudden?"

Embarrassed for no reason, the tall man looked away. He was used to being praised all the time it was like a recorded thing that kept on repeating each time he presented his works, or his speeches. He even started to think that perhaps even if he delivered such a crappy subject talking about sex and drugs being the happiest thing in the world, everyone would give him a round of applause saying he was just being 'dynamic' and all those sugar coated praises and shit that made him cringe. And yet from the same lips that criticized his craft, came a compliment that he didn't know how to respond to.

"I wish he give me time like this too..." the teen mumbled to himself but it didn't escape Ijuuin's sharp sense of hearing.

Ijuuin kept silent, swirling the remaining contents of his coffee in can.

"Seems like you have a wrong view of me Taka..."

Ijuuin looked down at the sound of something spilling. A sound of liquid pouring out of its container, flowing down to the ground. He watched the can roll on the ground clinking against the small rocks against it way.

If Misaki doesn't want it he shouldn't just throw trash around, it was a public park after all. However, the teen was just resting his back against the huge tree, his hands lying limply against his sides, his head bowed in a strange angle.

"Takahashi?"

Who cares about nature? Ijuuin himself threw the can somewhere as he kneeled before the boy, shaking him lightly by the shoulders.

"Oi...Takahashi what's wrong with you?"

Touching both the sides of the teen's face, he almost grimaced at the high temperature. "Damn it..."

"Damn it...damn it...damn it..." he hissed pushing back the sweaty hair off Misaki's face. He carefully placed his right hand under Misaki's side to lift the boy back into the car, carry him to the nearest clinic or hospital. "If you're feeling bad, say so!"

"I'll lift you up so hang on to me if you can hear me."

"Nggnn..." Misaki whimpered suddenly, Ijuuin let go of his grasp, remembering that this same guy just had a laparotomy, which was still healing. Misaki's ragged breathing irritated the hell out of him. He knew something was wrong but he didn't pay attention to it that much. And he could curse himself the entire night for it. And so, decided to check praying that it wasn't that bad since he remembered the youth rubbing his side at some instance, Ijuuin grabbed Misaki's thin jacket and shirt with one hand and carefully rolled them up. Pale skin greeted him, and dried blood called out to him.

Ijuuin heard his pulse inside his brain drumming it hurt as he carefully carried limp Misaki into his car into wherever place that can treat Misaki as soon as possible.

For a person who could stare at a dying person without so much as an expression on his face, he was strangely acting weird.

"Shit..." he glanced at the small, shaking form beside him.

He shut the aircon off for Misaki who was trembling like mad. "Hurts...hurts so much..." through clashing teeth.

"Hang on there," he almost shouted racing his car into the night. "You're really a piece of work Takahashi..."

He wasn't praising the kid and he wasn't mocking Misaki either. It was more for Ijuuin himself who strangely was perspiring cold sweat despite the dry heat.

The man glanced worriedly at Misaki, who seemed to have stopped breathing so suddenly.

* * *

Usami Akihiko lifted his gaze from the papers before him. It was almost midnight, and he was purposely burying his face to work. Lavender eyes scanned the old man that was patiently waiting to get his attention.

"What is it?" he asked grumpily.

"Arisaka-san, Takahashi-kun's acting guardian called."

"We already paid the hospitals bills right? Takahashi could stay for as long as he wants...what did he want?" the composer went back to his work.

He was in no mood to think about anything connected to Takahashi Misaki. He was mad, he was hurt, he felt so much betrayed that he wanted to distance himself first for a while. Seeing Takahashi Misaki though earlier that night, he felt a little almost breaking out. His actions weren't rational. But he had always been irrational when it comes to personal matters. And if he didn't clear his brains, he was so sure, nothing would be solved.

He was just plainly lost. Trust was something he had struggled very hard with since childhood and the thought that being lied to at the face by the person he least expected it to do was just too much too bear. He always acted strong, arrogant and a jerk. But he was very weak. Weak in all honesty.

"Usami-san..."

Losing a little patience, Usami Akihiko placed his fountain pen down on the cluttered table and looked at the old man properly.

"Just tell me...what did he want?"

"They didn't call about asking anything. He just called to inform us that ...Takahashi Misaki is dead."

Did he hear it right? It was a joke wasn't it? Usami Akihiko just stared at the old man with a face frozen in shock. Somehow, the man felt like his heart has stopped. His shaking hands held the arm rest for support as he tried to stand from his chair.

"What did you say?" he asked, though there was no voice that came out of his mouth.

The old man looked very sorry to be the one breaking out the news. "Usami-san...Takahashi Misaki died a little while ago..."

"No...bullshit!" he shouted as he fell back on the softness of his chair. "That's ridiculous...He was just standing before me a while ago..." the man mumbled. His hand over his mouth. "That's...Misaki..."

_"Usagi-san, I know you are mad at me...But if you could just listen to me...?"_

_"I want to explain!"_

_"If it's about the Io thing and you being a shadow singer, and you knowing who I was all along and you being a money sucker that you are, don't worry. I already settled that with Zone."_

_"Usagi-san!"_

"That is a fucking lie!" Usami stood, grabbed his coat and rushed to the door. But the old man blocked his way.

"Sir...please calm down."

"How can I calm down!? Misaki...Misaki..." Usami Akihiko suddenly felt like he was sucked out of dear living breath as he slid to the floor. "That's a lie...I was so mean...we still have...how could he die just like that!"

The old man gave his support by squeezing his master's arm. "Usami-sama...to that boy...are you by any chance..."

"God...I love him! I love him and I..."

_I am not forcing you to believe me but please hear me out..._

"And I..." the composer stared blankly at the floor not seeing it but instead Misaki's bruised face as he called out to him. And yet he didn't look back.

"Usami-sama...I'm sorry...I haven't talked to him, but I saw him during our visit to Zone...I can tell he was a good child. I really am sorry for the loss..."

Usami Akihiko didn't know whether to laugh, to cry or to shout. All he knew was he felt like being strangled himself. He was too shocked and scared to process anything at that point. His brain must have gone completely broken as it flashed only Misaki's smiling face at him.

* * *

He shot his eyes wide open. His broad chest heaving. He inhaled and exhaled but there was no sign of his heart beat calming at all. His chest was hurting like a heavy boulder was there crushing him. His stare at the ceiling didn't budge. He just stared there feeling hot liquid at the corners of his eyes. When he blinked, they ran down the smoothness of his skin down to the white pillow under his head.

"Fucking nightmare...shit..."he whispered to the silent air around him. His rare tears still running down his pillow they won't stop.

He was so scared. He was so frightened by that dream that he thought he would die himself.

He still hasn't gathered his thoughts when his phone on his side rang snapping him back to the not so good reality.

* * *

"Thank you...Arisaka-san."

Ijuuin placed his phone back inside his pocket and walked inside the door before him. He kept his steps as quiet as possible. The doctor told him the kid was really stressed out and tired. The wound slightly opened due to strain from running but it wasn't so serious. His fever was because he hadn't been sleeping and eating properly and has been allowing his sweat to just dry on his back. A couple days of rest was what he needed.

They were in a hospital nearest to the place they were last night. He seriously thought Misaki was dying he even surprised himself to actually utter a small prayer which he hadn't done in a long while.

Standing on the side, Ijuuin watched the sleeping face. He was taken aback a little when finally Misaki slightly opened his eyes. His green orbs searching.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Usagi-san?" the boy croaked behind a raspy voice.

A couple of seconds passed and the boy's eyes closed once more as he continued into his journey in his dreamland.

The man placed his hand on Misaki' forehead and lightly brushed it with his thumb. "'Usagi-san?' huh?"

He had no expression whatsoever as he leaned closer to Misaki's sleeping face. Whispering at the boy's ears, Ijuuin's eyes were fixed on the lips still a little pale from sickness.

"It's Ijuuin Kyo in front of you...Misaki."

* * *

**Chapter end notes: ****ヽ(^_^)ノ** **ヽ(^_^)ノ** **ヽ(^_^)ノ** **ヽ(^_^)ノ** **ヽ(^_^)ノ** **ヽ(^_^)ノ** **ヽ(^_^)ノ**

There you go! ahaha..thank you for reading^^ chuuuu FOR THE SUPPORT AND REVIEWS. i love you guys...your reviews are overwhelming and inspiring! please keep them coming^^

i really enjoyed writing in Ijuuin's POV...did i scare you with the dream...muahahaha...sorry^^

-shuusetsu(｀・ω・´)(｀・ω・´)


	18. Breaking Free

konnichi wa! hello! i am back yey! yey! sorry for the delay^^ thank you for the support and reviews! you're all awesome!

* * *

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

**← Breaking Free →**

**。。。。。。。。**

* * *

Five minutes passed. Ten minutes ticked away too fast. Twenty minutes flew by in an instant. Until without him knowing, he had been glaring at the high ceiling of his room for more than an hour. He unconsciously, was drilling a hole at it with eyes hazy from his dream.

His throat was dry. He wanted to gulp, but when he did, it felt as though he had swallowed sand paper grazing at his throat. The lavender orbs sharp and yet unable to focus. He looked at the ceiling as if somehow the sinking feeling in the pits of his stomach would disappear. He had tried to breath deeply. He had tried to calm himself. But they were all useless.

He liked that innocent-looking boy. But it wasn't yet to the extent that he'd die without him by his side. He thought he could still go back to his previous ways. And yet just one dream, just one dream with the boy being dead was already enough to kill himself.

"What am I doing?" his lips moved, his body still sinking in the sea called confusion.

He rested an arm on his sweating forehead. The rays of the sun sneaking into the sides of the window, blocked by a thick curtain. It must be mid morning already. And yet he was lying there alone, weak all over.

The ringing of the phone that already stopped ages ago shattered Usami's silence. The shrill ringing of it in all corners of his room sliced through his brain it hurt. Cannot contain the irritation and the anger in his chest, he sat on the bed and left it in fast movements. The wrinkled, white blanket that was clinging to his lean physique slid down and landed silently on the floor. Usami, with his long fingers yanked the black cord of the phone with force and as if still not contented by the sudden silence, he grabbed the phone and smashed it against the wall.

His eyes wide open, he stared at the broken receiver. He was as broken as the scattered pieces on his cold floor.

* * *

_"Misaki, is such a pure kid. He would never lie to me, would he? Of course not, he will not,_" Usami over and over again chanted in his about to freeze brain as he stared at the brown door before him.

People were too much struck with his sudden movement haven't noticed one thing. His fingers were shaking as he was reaching for the knob. When his skin felt the coldness of the metal against his flesh, he was as if burned that he instead kicked the door open.

_"Misaki is that 'one person'. He wouldn't lie...he wouldn't lie at my face..._" and yet there he was watching the teen's breathing as he sang secretly inside that booth.

At the back of the composer's mind, he wanted already to cry. "_Why...I thought you're going to be different..."_

He couldn't even feel the floor under his feet. He was numb all over as he went inside the booth. It was a scene you'd only find in the movies. That head slowly turning towards him, the green eyes widening in shock. It was funny it seeemed that everything was scripted and saddening at the same time. But the tears he thought would fall down his cheeks didn't come. They didn't surface at all as anger took over.

He wasn't planning hurting Misaki at all. He never intended it. His body just moved on its own. Usami just acted out what he felt was done to him. He wasn't just slapped on the one side. He was slapped hard on both his cheeks the moment the truth Misaki was playing some game on him finally kicked in.

_"Hah? What? Are you trying to make me laugh?"_ a woman's sultry voice filled the ears of ten years younger Usami Akihiko.

He watched the lustrous silver, wavy hair be brushed with such care with fingers full of grace. The back of Usami Himeno, soft, white and flawless glowed as the morning lights hit the white tiled floor of the Usami's master bedroom. Their villa majestically standing in the midst of vast greenery. Hidden from the rest of the world, hidden even to the people living in Okinawa.

_"Why are you doing this? Bringing your lovers and doing it inside the room that is supposed to be yours and dad's? Have you no shame?"_ the teen's voice was already deep despite his young age.

Born into a rich family, her body was engraved with such elegance that a simple slight turn of her head could mesmerize many. She with not a trace of shame at her nakedness before her mirror threw a sharp and yet mocking gaze at her son. Her lavender eyes piercing.

_"Akihiko dear, you're already almost an adult. You should know what is happening around you..."_ the woman glanced back at the mirror. Her finger tips dancing on her neck, tracing the fresh marks of her previous engagement with a random stranger.

The teen looked away, towards the soiled bed and grimaced. _"Dad is having affairs I know that. He even apologized. But why must you do the same thing?_" he said through gritted teeth. His young age telling him that if only his parents would talk, they would be able to sort things out.

_"Young man, you have no idea what a woman goes through when her husband goes to different nests to lay his eggs every night on her face."_

Young Usami darted his gaze from the bed towards the face of his mother staring coldly at him through the mirror. The rough, indecent words didn't fit her beautiful image at all.

_"This family has fallen down Akihiko, there's no way to fix it."_

In Usami Akihiko's head, he heard that small ring of bitterness in his mother's mouth. The more he thought about it, the harder it was for him to understand why his family though blessed with luxury was having all sorts of indecent problems that they so hard tried to keep from the society.

_"Haha-ue, there's nothing broken that cannot be fixed or replaced...it's not too late,_" he said in a small voice.

The woman walked from her mirror towards her son standing by the side of their intricately patterned wall. Her long hair falling behind her back, exposing the body many had craved for. Young Usami turned his gaze towards the window, out into the forest. He didn't want to see his own mother's nakedness screaming of sin before him.

Usami Himeno stopped before her son and traced the boy's face with her index finger polished blood red. _"Akihiko, it was your father who broke the bond first. It wasn't me,"_ she whispered.

His own lavender eyes fixed at the trees and the bright sky outside, he dared stare at his mother's eyes. _"I pity you, Haha-ue. I really do pity the both of you."_

Hysterical laughter rang out the room that seemed to cover the whole estate. Birds that were resting quietly flew in all directions as if they knew one's sanity was about to disappear.

_"You don't know what you're saying. Though we got married through arranged marriage, the two of us talked about it properly. We will try to live together happily, we will try to learn to love each other..."_ she looked on the floor, her fingers digging on her son's shoulders. _"I trusted him, I trusted your father Akihiko, I put all my trust in him. And look where I am..."_

The teen looked at his mother's beautiful face. A face that looked like was reminiscing something good. Memories of the once bright past showing on her face.

_"Akihiko, there's no one in this world you can trust. They will betray you at some point I am telling you. And then you'll end up like me..."_

Misaki was his pride. That day that he and Takahashi Misaki first kissed, Usami proudly whispered to himself that he had found the one person who would never hurt him in anyway. Who wouldn't crush the trust he sealed together in that kiss. Smiling at his mother's image inside his head as if saying 'see Haha-ue, you're wrong'. And then in a snap, his mother's words came back to him.

_"They will betray you at some point I am telling you. And then you'll end up like me...unhappy, full of regrets, miserable...after all, you took after me..."_

Call it childishness. Call it immaturity. But for Usami Akihiko who had been always into the mysteries of inspirations and magic of music that captivated him, he had always believed that there was one person that would come and treasure every single ounce of love and trust there was. He really believed that.

And yet the reality was shouting before him. Singing before him.

Together with his mother's shrilly laugh of insanity, Usami's despair that his mother was right all along took over his senses. The only thing snapping his mind back was the throbbing pain on his palm. Everything in his vision was all a blur. He was too absorbed by the feeling that he just believed in such a whimsical idea that it was blocking his usually rational brain. No words of apology. No words of begging. No amount of cries passed through the wall Usami built on the spot.

His mother was right. And he was too childish to believe in such a fairy tale like romance.

* * *

The great composer, Usami Akihiko, decided to distance himself from Takahashi Misaki before he lose his own sanity. The way his mother lost hers. One time was enough.

His mother often screamed into his ears in a white celled room that once a person started to break one's trust. They won't be satisfied. They'd break it and break it until there was no more. To a person who saw with his very own eyes a person lose it, the fright of being betrayed wedged itself inside the man's heart's recesses.

Yet fate was a playful thing. The hidden observer in every relationship. The secret hands that makes or breaks a connection. The faceless entity that makes the world go under or round. No one knew if fate was making or breaking something that time.

* * *

"Damn it!" Usami cursed when just after he broke his landline, it was his mobile phone's turn to piss him more.

Still dark inside his room despite the raging sun's rays, he walked stiffly towards the shelf where he had mindlessly placed his phone the night before. The light from the device highlighting the man's fowl mood, Usami decided to finally talk with the freaking caller.

"Why the hell aren't you picking up? I've been calling you since early morning I thought you're already dead!"

"What do you need from me?" the silverhaired man hissed as he walked towards his huge window. He pulled the curtains to the side. A sudden blinding light filling his room it seemed to have become all white for a moment.

"Okay...sorry about this but can I ask a favor?" Hidori asked. His voice clearly sounded that he was in doubt hearing his friend's voice.

"I'll do it."

"Ha?" the blonde, one of Usami's music consultant exclaimed.

"I'll do whatever it is."_ I need to escape..._

* * *

Dark sunglasses on his face, the composer found himself walking in a quiet hallway. All sides were white with drawings of animals, flowers, cartoon characters and all sorts of cute things. He walked straight ahead, uncaring about the stares he was getting from a few nurses and children on wheelchairs.

When he finally reached the end of the hall, he knocked into a door thrice and entered. He looked around the empty room and noticed little Sora-chan's whole body picture on the table. At the front of the white table was a name plate; Mizuno Misao, mother of Sora-chan, ex-wife of Hidori.

"Oh, Usami-san?" a voice came from the behind the composer.

When Usami turned around, Misao's easy smile greeted him. Petite and smart-looking, she offered a slight bow before going to a shelf to get something.

"I see Hidori asked you to pick Sora?" she started while sorting out some files. "That idiot...sorry for the trouble. Sora's not here, she's in the children's playward probably playing with the other kids."

Usami had met the woman a couple of times already. But it was his first time to pick up Sora in this private hospital catering entirely to nervous system disabilities for adults and children.

After a couple of pleasantries, the tall man made his way to the playward. A huge room at the other side of the hallway, he passed children being wheeled by their nurses to their theraphy sessions by group. A rush of children's laughter and voices filled the way. Usami was really not good with children. It was only Sora-chan he had the patience with. After the group disappeared from the hall, the place became quiet once more. A distinc, messy note from a keyboard was now clear.

Usami didn't have to force himself to smile when greeting the child, but his smile faded when he saw the girl standing before the tall keyboard alone.

"Sora-chan," Usami called in a soothing voice. "I've come to pick you up. How have you been?"

The young girl glanced at him for a short while then stared back at the keyboard. She was quiet and a little lifeless, even Usami noticed that. Taking slow strides towards the young girl, Usami glanced around the room. Drawings of childrens plastered on the wall. A knot suddenly tying in his stomach.

At the very center of the greenboard, colorful letterings with stick figures occupied the entire space.

"Get well soon Misa-nii! We love you!" the board said. And under the huge, messy letterings were the little angel's signature as if they were sending a petition to the gods to make their big brother be well as soon as possible. Usami tried not to be bothered by it and walked towards the girl and knelt beside her. When Usami touched on the shoulder the girl backed away with her hand raised as if ready to slap the man any moment.

Dumbfounded since Sora-chan has always been a sweet child at him, Usami smiled questioningly at the girl. "Sora-chan...what's wrong? I came to pick you up."

The girl turned to the other way suddenly, her pigtails swaying on her back. With an obvious pout, Sora-chan stole a quick glance at her god father.

"I hate Papa."

"Hate? Sora-chan, do you know what you are saying?"

Grabbing the hem of her lacy dress, Sora-chan looked the man in the eyes. Her huge blue eyes starting to well up tears. "I heard Papa on the phone the other day during breakfast. His phone was really loud, I guess it was on loud speaker," she started sniffing and biting her small lips. "I heard a scary woman's voice saying Io is going abroad to avoid the scandal."

Usami patted the girl on the head. Still not knowing where Sora was coming from.

"That witch mentioned Misa-nii."

The man grimaced at having to be remembered someone's name he was trying to avoid. Trying to be as cool as possible, Usami maintained the face he had on. Calm and understanding despite his insides a turmoil.

"She said, she fired Misa-nii. She fired Misa-nii and baka Papa thanked her?! He thanked the witch!" This time, the little girl started crying, but she kept her hard gaze at her godfather. Wiping her tears with her hand once in a while. "I asked Papa why they fired Misa-nii. Papa, he said Misa-nii deserved it. Misa-nii loves his work. Misa-nii loves singing even if nobody really pays attention to him!"

The man just stared at the little girl with a dumb face. It was as if the girl knew all along what Misaki was doing.

"Sora-chan," Usami started, the sweet voice present earlier was gone. "Does this mean, you know about your Misa-nii lying?" he asked sternly.

A scared look flashed in the girl's orbs before looking away. "Misa-nii told me not to...tell you."

How can Takahashi involve a seven year old girl in whatever crap he was doing? Usami thought, starting to ger more pissed. He stood and inhaled the baby powdered scent of the room trying to calm his senses. What are the other things that Takahashi was doing that he didn't know?

Wandering in his own world, the little blonde girl grabbed Usami's index finger resting on his side, making him to look down.

"Why is everyone acting so cold towards my Misa-nii? Papa, that witch, even you...why do you give off such a scary look Aki-chan...you're not like that before..."

"Because lying is a bad thing Sora-chan. Lying at people's faces is a crime. It's like you are playing with other's emotions. That's why..."

The girll backed away looking hurt. Her whole face had gone red. Her small shoulders shaking, she looked at the man before him with a disappointed look.

"You were very happy listening to Misa-nii's voice back then. You're the same as Papa. You were somehow friends with him right? Is that really how grown ups forget the good things because of one bad thing? If that's like that I don't want to grow up anymore!"

"Sora-chan...look..." the man was getting exhausted at trying to be calm in front of the girl. He didn't want to admit, the last question had so much weight. Funny how children can make adults look like they were more mature.

"Aki-chan, I swore to Misa-nii I won't tell you. But he was crying! He was crying telling me not to tell you because he was planning to explain everything on his birthday! He cried so much! He cried telling me he didn't want to lie, he didn't like to lie!"

The girl's hysterical cries rang loudly inside the playward. It sounded painful in the ears and in the heart.

"Sora-chan..." he extended his hand but the girl looked at it with disgust. The very first time Usami saw her make a face like that.

"Aki-chan...did you try to ask Misa-nii why he was lying?" her voice soft yet angry.

Usami paused. And that girl already knew the answer. Mad at her godfather she ran out the playward. Her shoes clicking loudly against the floors. Usami followed her. The nurses and other visitors looking after the running, crying girl and at the man in sunglasses following her in huge strides.

* * *

He glared at the numbers on the screen. Holding his wallet, he pressed 'withdraw' finally and the sound of money being released from the automated machine started.

"Misaki," Arisaka sighed as he computed in his brain how long the money Misaki got from Zone would last. The money was just good enough for Takahiro's hospitalization for three months. That didn't not include the medicine, the vitamins and the theraphy Takahiro needed. He also subtracted the rent for Takahashi's apartment and other expenses. Misaki would go completely broke in three month's time.

Once he got the money from the machine, he walked out the booth to go pay Takahiro's hospital bills for the month. Since Misaki was still weak and recovering, he took the initiative to take care of the things Misaki has always been doing before he got stabbed, before he got fired and before his body completely gave out.

"He's becoming a hospital patron now..." he sighed, fixng his wallet inside his sling bag, he felt a heavy impact on his legs. He looked down and saw a girl on the floor on her bottom crying. His eyes gew wide slightly at the recognition of her face.

"Sora-chan..." Arisaka and Usami muttered at the same time they both found themselves staring at each other's eyes. Usami with shock, Arisaka with a scowl. What a small world.

The long-haired guy bended to help the crying girl stand up. He wiped the girl's tears with his thumbs and smiled.

"Sora-chan...why are you crying? You're ruining your cute face...look..." he continued while sweeping the girl's fringe sideways.

All of a sudden, the girl hugged Arisaka, burying her face on the man's stomach. "Sora-chan is so sad for Misa-nii. I know lying is bad! But not listening to people, isn't that bad as well Arisa-nii?"

A menacing grin formed on Arisaka's lips as he lifted his gaze at the other man before him. "Sora-chan, do you mind going back to your Mama's office? I'll just talk to this man is that okay?"

The girl looked up, sniffing. "O-okay...make Aki-chan be nice to Misa-nii once again..."

* * *

The two men watched the girl walk slowly away from them. Both oblivious to the stares of people intrigued at the sight of two men standing together their different charismas throwing many out of their orbit. Arisaka inserted his hands in his jeans and cocked his head sideways at Usami who still had his sunglasses on.

"Well I really am not in the mood to see your mug, but I can't take this nonsense anymore so come follow me, Usami-san," there was sarcasm in the voice of the long haired guy.

Usami didn't say anything. He wasn't in the mood to be friendly anyway so without a word, he followed Arisaka. They walked in an empty hallway that led them to an open space. A mini oasis in the midst of the building with sick people. A place to unwind, to think or to ponder what would happen to their futures. Usami thought they'd seat in one of the wooden benches circling the fountain. But they kept on walking in silence.

"So...I'll be blunt. You're that kind right? Your thing is for males?" Arisaka muttered without turning his back or facing the composer he just continued walking.

Usami stared at the back of the man's head. "So?"

Arisaka chuckled. "Well, I am not gay but my radars are really receptive. And I am really pissed at you for so many reasons."

The silverhaired man continued looking ahead, following the man who seemed to be walking in circles.

Arisaka suddenly stopped walking and faced the man. "If you still don't get anything after this, I don't know anymore. Just go and die."

"What are you talking about?"

"I am just going to clean my friend's name in the eyes of some freaking bastard. Sounds crappy, doesn't it?"

Arisaka then faced the door that Usami haven't noticed before. It was as white as the walls that it seemed like a secret passage which was very unlikely. The building seemed to be a new one. Only seeing a few people once in a while walking on the ground floor. Arisaka peeked through the glass panel of the door.

"Ah he's asleep," Arisaka muttered then told the other man to take a look inside.

When Usami who was not very enthusiastic about the expedition removed his sunglasses and peeked throught the glass, he was met with an equally white room. A table on the side with a basket of fruits, cabinet on the side and a man lying peacefully on the bed. Despite the warm temperature, the man seemed to be covered with thick blankets specially the leg part. Usami raised a brow at Arisaka after roaming his lavender orbs around the room.

"What's this all about?"

"He's been blind and crippled for a year now. His case is rare, and he needs continuous medical attention for the rest of his life. You could say that he has to spend the rest of his life here," Arisaka mentioned while looking inside the room.

Usami felt a pang of sadness even a little at such a situation. Spending a life that seemed to be forever useless was a pitiful thing. Especially that Usami figured he and the man were of the same age.

"Do you know how much it costs a month to stay here? The medicine and theraphy too? It's a lot. I know a rich man like you, it wouldn't take time to cough up money for the expenses, but for a regular human being, who has no parents, who has no one to turn to, how hard do you think would that be? If you were a poor person and you have to work your life forever to suppor that man there, wouldn't you just wish to die. Commit a suicide or somethig or completely abandon that relative?"

Usami remained looking at the man.

"Or maybe throw him to some care facility and get rid of him for good?" the other man continued.

A moment of silence passed. The sound of water falling againts water sounded louder and nearer. A heavy atmosphere was floating around them. For a moment, Usami Akihiko already forgot why they we're even talking.

"That's why...how would an eighteen year-old kid carry such a heavy burden? Don't you think engaging in a shady business would sound like a blessing and a savior for him and his brother?"

Usami's eyes from the man on the bed slowly moved to Arisaka's smiling yet teasing face.

"Pitiful?" Arisaka asked. However Usami didn't asnwer. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Let me introduce you to the reason why dear Misaki had to endure being treated as some lowly specimen. He's Takahashi Takahiro, Misaki's older brother and only living family."

Arisaka took a step forward. "I wanted to kill you for calling Misaki a gold digger. He's like a younger brother to me and I can read him very well even if he don't say anything and I hate that idiot getting sick and getting hospitalized at a different hospital just because he went around running to come to someone, opening up his wound causing him to collapse senseless while a certain someone was leisurely sleeping."

It was not enough to describe the feeling of being poured ice cold water over his body at hearing it. The chill he felt was up to the very core of his bones. "What did you say?" he asked disbelieving. His dream, was it a premonition?

"Listen to me real good, mister composer. I am not doing this because I like you for Misaki. To tell you, I might be happy if he goes out with whoever and not you. But it was you Misaki was calling for with such flowery eyes it almost makes me puke but that is his happiness so I cannot do anything about it."

Usami took a step closer they were almost close enough to exchange faces. "What did you say Arisaka? Wound opening? Collapsing?"

But Arisaka didn't answer him. Instead he continued blabbering. "So, I don't fucking care if you have some issues about trust or whatever because I am a doting brother I only care for my brother's welfare. I see the way you look at him before. So I thought you probably like him back. But after this Io thing as Misaki being a shadow singer and all, you became suddenly a somebody else. Just one mistake from your beloved one and you go abandoning them? Is that how shallow your feelings for Misaki are?"

That was a slap. A slap piercing past his flesh.

"Tell me what happened to Misaki!" Usami spat. His veins on his neck almost visible. His tense body now shaking. His dream resurfacing again.

"Arisaka!"

"See Misaki is the kind who wouldn't say anything like this to anyone because he doesn't want pity. But I can't take it anymore so here's the reason why that idiot is working as a shadow singer, why he is forced to lie at your face because Zone is paying up for the hospital bills. Now that Misaki is jobless...and critical...not that I am blaming you..."

Usami has lost every piece of patience in his body and grabbed the hairstylist by the collar of his shirt. Eye to eye, Arisaka could see the frustration in the lavender eyes glaring at him. Despite that, the man still has the nerve to smirk at the heaving Usami.

"What happened to him? Is he okay? Is he alive?" Usami whispered in a pained voice. His face in a raging sea of confusion, hatred, worry and many other more things.

The other guy smirking didn't bother to break free. "What do you care now? Guilty?"

"Tell me where he is...Arisaka..." his shaking fists visible as he gripped the cotton shirt of the other man. "Please..."

"Misaki is being cared for with such gentleness by that Ijuuin, the one who rushed Misaki to the hospital last night. Why should I tell you where they are?"

There was a long pause from Usami's side. As if the man had stopped breathing himself. He had never felt so not incontrol in his life. Everytime it was about Misaki, he was always being tossed around, thrown out of his calm orbit. With a blank expression, Usami removed his grip and turned his back.

"What...giving up now?" Arisaka called out.

Usami stopped from his tracks. He never looked back at Arisaka though. He remained standing there, a quiet feeling of someone who resigned to his mistakes surrounded him.

"If you don't want to tell me I'm fine with that. I'll go look for him even if I had to search all the hospitals here in Tokyo."

With that, Usami sent an emergency message to Hidori about not being able to pick up Sora anymore. He wore once again his dark sunglasses that made him look like as though he was not carrying something heavy in his chest.

As he walked towards his red sports car, he thought about his late mother once again. The gorgoeus woman who decided not to forgive after her trust has been broken. A woman who had let herself be consumed by pity and depression. A woman who ran away.

Behind his sunglasses came a tear he ignored. No one will notice. He just continued walking past the sea of people from the entrance.

"I admit, I took after you. I got your weakness and sensitivity Haha-ue. But I am different..." he whispered to himself.

When he reached his car parked at the very end of the lot, a warm breeze blew around him. His hair fluttering on his face, he looked at the afternoon sky.

"I don't want to lose him...I just realized my kind of affection is different from yours. I'm not like you..."

The man pulled open the car door and removed his sunglasses as he looked down at the cemented lot under him.

"If Misaki is still going to accept me after all the things I did, I am willing to throw every lie and fault behind and still put my trust to him...because Haha-ue, Misaki is still that one person who would never intend to hurt anybody. I am just the stupid one who let my fears take over..."

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

uwah...turned out to be a long chapter again so i decided to cut them into two...BUT WAIT,,, THE UPDATE FOR TONIGHT ISN'T DONE YET...ON THE NEXT CHAPPY...WILL THEY MAKE OR BREAK? find out for your self^^ THANK YOU^^

**FYI: haha-ue...is a term for mother in a very polite term, with reverence and respect **

**-shuusetsu**

Hi...uhm..so this chapter turned out to be very long once again so the continuation which i really think should be a stand-alone chapter anyway is also there. haha..thank you very much.^^


	19. Staring at It

**KONNICHI WA!** this is the** SECOND PART OF A 2-CHAPTER** UPDATE TONIGHT SO **PLEASE GO TO CHAPTER 18** TO **AVOID SPOILERS!^^**

* * *

。。。。。。。。。。。。

■■■ Staring at It ■■■

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

* * *

For a man who considered himself a brave one, his heart was beating wildly in his chest. His throat constricting at the thought of facing the one he had hurt so much. He had so many times considered leaving. He was a twenty-eight-year-old adult, whose knees were about to give out just by the thought of him being looked at by Misaki with eyes of hatred.

He had never expected Arisaka to come follow him to the parking lot. The eccentric man walking so mindlessly before his car when he was about to start his hunt. He looked at the long-haired man questioningly when Arisaka pounded on his window. Usami rolled the window down and turned to the man with a face devoid of expression.

"Hey...I was just testing you," Arisaka grinned at Usami.

Arisaka seemed to be a different kind of human specie to Usami at that point as he watched the man stick a yellow sticky note at the center of his steering wheel.

"That's the place where Misaki is currently staying. He's not in danger. I was just trying to see your reaction."

Usami didn't respond at all. He just looked at the sticky note.

* * *

And there he was, pacing here and there just outside Misaki's room. The hospital took a thirty-minute drive from the one he was from. And the entire drive was the most excruciating drive he had ever done. Every second and minute, he could imagine a cold voice and eyes full of hatred looking into him.

The nurses in white uniform passed by him with confused looks but didn't dare question him what he was doing. He'd peek at the glass panel once in a while and his heart would completely sink at the face of Misaki who looked so drained and lifeless. The usual glow on the boy's cheeks was gone and was replaced by paleness and reddish patch on the other side.

"I'm sorry Misaki..." he muttered outside the door. "I really am..."

After getting tired of pacing, he sat at the padded bench in front the room and stared blankly at the door. Why was that door so hard to open? The guilt was a heavy boulder that made Usami lose his face before the boy who did nothing in reality but to worry and save his life. He was like a child who was afraid to meet the judgement of something bad he did.

He sighed and burried his face on his palms. His breathing still heavy and his chest aching. He wanted to hug Misaki so bad, but he didn't have the right. What he did, him abandoning Misaki made them lose the connection they had before. And as if they were back to square one, Usami had no right to just barge in the room uninvited. Such was the guilt he realized he was feeling after finally realizing how important Misaki had turned out to be in his life. He had become so important he didn't know what to do.

Usami watched a female nurse get into Misaki's room and get out after a couple of minutes. He was looking anxious and more worn out by the minute that the nurse started to wonder why the face of a handsome man was having such an expression.

An hour that seeemed eternity had passed and finally, Usami Akihiko decided to face the consequences of his actions. Inhaling, Usami knocked on the door softly and pushed it open. When he saw Misaki's face looking out the window, the sudden want to imprison the boy inside his arms welled inside him, but he tried his best to contain himself.

When Misaki looked at him, the boy had stared at the guy approaching without blinking. An obvious hurt expression crossing on his pale face.

Standing at the side of Misaki's bed, Usami completely ignored the chair. Usami looked at Misaki quietly. He wasn't going to sit and act like he was a close person to Misaki, though they have been at some point. They were once again strangers, feeling the awkwardness of a first meeting.

"I heard your wound re-opened, do you feel better now?" Usami asked while his lavender eyes observed Misaki's face.

The green eyes that seemed to suck him into a different world wouldn't even look at him. And Misaki remained looking at the end of his bed as if not acknowledging the presence of the man who ignored him when he was begging to be heard. He was just a human too. No matter how many said he was a saint, Misaki was a human capable of getting tired.

"Why are you here, Usami-san?" the once sweet voice at Usami asked in a cold manner.

Trying to maintain his cool and to keep his hand from patting those soft locks, Usami forced a smile on his bitter lips at the way he was being formally addressed. "I wanted to see you."

Misaki gripped his blanket tighter, turning his head the other way where he couldn't see the image of Usami Akihiko standing. "You already saw me."

"I know and I am glad you're fine. I really thought you'd be..." Usami trailed off.

"I can't die yet. I have a lot of things to do, Usami-san," Misaki answered as if he just had a deep look inside the older man's mind.

Long moment of awkwardness passed them. The quietness deafening which made Usami hear the rush of his blood to his every veins.

"Can I ask you a favor?" Usami broke the silence in a soft voice.

Misaki just pursed his lips.

"Can you look at me?"

"I don't want to," came the cold reply.

Well, Usami was expecting that anyway. So he just stood there watching Misaki intently.

"I know sorry is not enough to make up for all the things I did to you," Usami started in a small voice, it sounded just like a breath dancing on air. But every word was heartfelt that their softness carried a weight heavier than if it was shouted. "I am not expecting you to forgive me, but I just want you to know that I regret being selfish. That I regret not listening to you. I regret everything."

Misaki seemed not at all touched. Instead when he did looked at the lavender eyes, his face was of accusation. "Why the sudden change of heart Usami-san? You heard something from Arisaka-san, didn't you? I don't need your pity."

Usami smiled a sad smile that made Misaki feel bad. _Why are you making such a face before me...I don't understand you..._

"You finally looked me in the eyes, I'm glad."

Misaki frowned and tore his gaze away once more. This time he fixed his eyes at the closed glass window of his room. There was another silence between them and every passing minute Misaki felt more conscious and bothered at the gaze he could feel towards him. A gaze that was sending him out into a burst of different kind of emotions. His cold front would surely be broken into pieces if Usami Akihiko keep on looking at him with such gentleness. Misaki didn't want pity. He didn't want it.

"Will you please stop staring at me?!" the green-eyed boy's voice was in between shouting and begging.

Without looking at the man Misaki could still feel the stare at him which was still there. It didn't waver. It didn't falter. Instead it felt more intense than before.

Getting tired himself, Misaki turned his head towards the face of the man still staring at him with eyes he couldn't explain. This time Misaki was calmer. "If you have nothing more to say, please leave. Please stop staring at me."

"I really am sorry for everything. Sorry for making you uncomfortable...I was just staring at it."

_I don't want your pity...please leave before I start making an embarrassment for myself._.."Staring at what?" Misaki had asked in a rather harsh tone as his emotions inside of him began to stir up.

"I know you wouldn't want to see me in the future so I am staring at it now. I told you I won't force you didn't I?"

"Staring at me? Staring at what? You're confusing me. I'm getting tired. Fine I accept your pity please leave."

"It's not pity, I at least wanted to let you know that."

"Then what? I am so tired of getting myself ahead of everything then get hurt in the end. Tell me what~"

"I am just staring," Usami cut Misaki off. "...at the only love I know."

Misaki looked at Usami's face with a baffled expression. He was speechless. He was embarrassed. He was surprised.

"W-what are you spouting there?!"

"Sorry Misaki...It may be hard to believe after all the things I did. True I heard something from Arisaka, but it isn't pity I feel for you. I love you."

"W-why are you saying this to me now? I had swallowed every piece of my pride to begging you to listen to me..." the teen muttered, with his brows in a furrow. He had so hard tried to hide his face behind the hair falling before his face as he bowed and gripped his blanket even tighter than before.

"I admit my stupidity and selfishness."

Misaki couldn't believe how the man was suddenly so being forward admiting he was such.

"Actually, I came here to ask if you could still accept me, after everything..." Usami's eyes were sad, as if it already accepted defeat for the first time in his life. "But I guess it's impossible now?"

Huge green gems stared at the man who started to turn his back against Misaki. Getting ready to take his leave.

_You go here telling me all these then you'll just go away leaving me? Where's the confident and arrogant man who always wanted to have his way at things?_

Despite moving abruptly was making Misaki grimace from pain, he reached out and grabbed the hem of Usami's dark red, polo. It felt like time stopped for the two of them as they remained like that for a moment.

"Why are you leaving after dropping all these things to me?!" Misaki shouted, not caring about the strain he was putting on his abdomen.

Feeling the childlike grasp of Misaki at his shirt, Usami turned his head towards the boy who was looking up to him with a face about to cry any moment.

"Misaki..."

"Did you even ask my answer to being the 'only love you know' huh? Why are you leaving after telling me you love me?!"

Misaki's grasp at the shirt loosened and instead it reached towards his own pale face that started to get wet from embarrassing tears. And really like a child he started crying, and tried so hard to stiffle his sobs. "You always make me cry..." Misaki whined behind his hands on his face.

Still unsure, Usami placed a hand on top of Misaki's messy head. How he missed the sensation of the warmth the boy was giving off. "I'm sorry...Misaki."

"I love you so much that I couldn't see what you're doing to me...baka-Usagi..." Misaki continued still burying his face against his hands.

For a moment, Usami Akihiko just stared frozen at the shaking ball before him. Was he hearing correctly or he was hearing things for his own convenience? What great things did he do in his previous life that a boy he had hurt so many times could just push aside all his faults that easily and say that to him?

"We don't know many things about each other...naturally we'll get misunderstandings...Usagi-san..."

Usami Akihiko felt like melting on the spot he was standing. Just being called back in that name was enough to send him to tears. He missed it so bad that he started circling his arms around shaking Misaki.

"I love you. I love you ever since. You took my heart with you ten years ago...I love you."

Misaki buried his face on the broad shoulders before him. "Stop saying such embarrassing things now."

The teen didn't know whether he was just being sensitive because he was sick. But the feeling of his back being caressed so softly, tenderly and lovingly was making him all weak inside the arms that served as his prison. It was a place where one would call home.

Usagi-san brought his palms to both sides of his precious' wet cheeks and looked him deep in the eyes. He couldn't believe this was happening.

"Stop staring too much in my eyes..." Misaki muttered, his face that was once pale surprisingly was tinted with crimson.

Just utter happiness in Usami's chest, he kissed the top of Misaki's head.

Many people had ceased to believe about the sparkling lights that glimmered, about the sweet music playing, about the feeling of dying from happiness when one finally get to find themselves in the arms of the person meant to be. It was just maybe a product of imagination, a scene in a manga or a drama. But being with each other this close, no indecent thoughts, no lust just pure happiness at coming to terms and finding themselves more open to each other than before made them feel the things many had tossed as just a meer hallucination. They passed a storm, and their rainbow was showing brightly at their new clear sky.

He was careful not to circle his arms around Misaki too much, but it was Misaki who knocked a breath out of him when the teen circled his hands around his waist tightly.

"Don't do that, Misaki..."

Usami could not help but brush his lips on the boy's forehead. Plant a kiss at the tip of Misaki's nose. And slowly, lastly, rest his lips that belonged only to Misaki.

The storm that seemed to have ended their moment for a while turned out to be the key for a beautiful unfolding of a forbidden love to many, but a great one to Usami and Misaki.

It was a beautiful start. But it was not the end yet. As both of them broke the sweet kiss and turned their heads towards the door that opened revealing Ijuuin Kyo.

* * *

**chapter end notes: **

-yey! they make up finally! oh but sorry..there will be a few more important things happening here before tis story finally ends. LoL...**after 19 chapters they finally came together...and it was just the start? are you kidding me?** perhaps that was what you were thinking! LoL. gomen..i write comfortably in this kind of pace,^^

-shuusetsu (^ε^)(￣ε￣)(￣ε￣)

**THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND YOUR REVIEWS AS ALWAYS^^**

**please do check out ****_"Stranger in Me"_**** too. it's a fic where i am trying out humor coz if you've been reading most of the fics i did, lol..they are all quiet really serious. oh but i love doing that. just trying out humor too.^^ thank you^^**


	20. Something I said

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

**▼ Something I said ▼**

**。。。。。。。。。。。。 **

* * *

Misaki was standing in a vast space of whiteness, softness carried by the wind filling him. The gentle sound of the breeze calming as he stared at the blue sky above him. It was exactly like that. It was the perfect feeling of security, assurance and calmness he found being inside those strong arms. Like nothing could go wrong anymore. However, he couldn't explain why when he heard the door open, his hands that were gently resting on his Usagi-san's chest moved away on its own. His body had made a distance from the warmth so fast the last thing he knew was a shocked lavender eyes looking at him.

_He saw that...he definitely saw me and Usagi-san kissing?!_

"Uhm, uhm, sorry," Misaki whispered while his eyes were fixed at Ijuuin.

Usami Akihiko didn't give a damn at who came. He watched Misaki's troubled expression with a welling irritation. _"Sorry?"_ he thought. He couldn't comprehend whether Misaki was saying sorry to him because the teen had pushed him away or to Ijuuin who saw them kissing.

Whatever Ijuuin had with him, the only sure thing was the peace inside the room became suddenly clouded for the three of them. What was more unnerving was Ijuuin was wearing an expression of someone understanding the situation yet mocking it. A face that showed calmness yet sudden heat that sent chills down Misaki's spine.

Misaki knew Usagi-san was a little off to Ijuuin telling him be careful with the man. He didn't know either why although Ijuuin was all smiles to Usagi-san, his gaze at the latter was as hard as a stone. Ijuuin Kyo was like the joker inside the deck of cards. Smiling yet dangerous. Quiet yet scary.

"Hello. Usami-san?" Ijuuin started. He had stopped moving for a second when he caught the two kissing so sweetly. However, he was back with his smile plastered on his face as he approached Misaki's bed. "I didn't expect to see you here," he continued then looked at Misaki. "Feeling better now?"

Misaki knitted his brows as he gazed up at the dark eyes looking at him. Was Ijuuin going to ignore what he saw to avoid akwardness? But it felt like it was getting more awkward and tense and Misaki didn't know what he would say if he was confronted why he was kissing another man.

As much as Misaki wanted to face Ijuuin with a neutral expression, the thought that this man saw him kissing with Usagi-san was making him embarrassed that he had to look down before saying a meek _'yes, thank you for your concern'_. Usagi-san who was observing every flutter of Misaki's lashes gritted his teeth. He hated to see Misaki look so out of his loop being questioned by Ijuuin. Misaki should only feel that towards him. Only him. Not to anybody else, specially not with Ijuuin.

The darkhaired man lifted a hand from his side and was about to ruffle the teen's hair.

"No, you can't," a very stern voice came from Usagi-san. Everything happened so fast that the once sitting man on the bed was already on his feet. His hand gripping Ijuuin's arm inches away from Misaki's head.

_Why is this happening now? Wait, why are they even like always at each other's throats!_ Misaki asked his stressing out brains. The spacious room suddenly felt too small for the three of them.

Usami Akihiko saw it coming. And there was no way on the planet he'd allow even the tip of Misaki's fingers be touched by this man. His grip was hard and strong, probably it hurt but there was no change on Ijuuin's face.

"Thank you for your concern but I will take care of things starting at this point," Usagi-san said eyeing Ijuuin with eyes that clearly said "fuck off".

The other man gently pulled his arm away from Usami. "I think that's not possible. Takahashi-kun here has become a very important friend of mine Usami-san," Ijuuin answered calmly while massaging the flesh where Usami's fingers dug.

Baffled and nervous, Misaki looked alternatingly from his Usagi-san and Ijuuin. The two men standing at the either sides of his bed looked as if they were having some sort of silent war as they eyed each other.

"Misaki won't be needing your help," came the words that felt so hot from Usagi-san's lips.

The teen who was watching the tension grow stronger and harsher tugged on Usami's shirt. Looking up with tired eyes at Usami, he muttered the things that he didn't know would just make the man more irritated.

"Usag-Usami-san..." Misaki started seeing a sudden flash of darkness at the lavender orbs. "It's okay!" he muttered nervously. "He saved my life after all."

Misaki meant no harm. He might not still be understanding things, but the space of friendship he was pertaining for Ijuuin was different from the space the two men glaring at each other was trying to claim.

Misaki without him knowing had declared Ijuuin a person free to enter his space due to the fact of owing his life with Ijuuin. A space that Usami had hoped to take only as his. A space he wanted to monopolize.

It hasn't even been an hour after Usami Akihiko and Takahashi Misaki confessed their feelings for one another, and yet the tension and the lingering of another storm was already visible from the horizon. Showing the signs of its landing so very soon.

* * *

Feeling like a new born baby, recharged and back to health, Misaki sat at one of the long benches in the main lobby of the hospital. He was so happy to finally feel his own clothes against his skin. It wasn't like he was complaining at the softness of the hospital robe he had been wearing for almost a week. However, he wasn't used to being sick and the robe began to feel rough on his flesh.

Swinging his legs, he roamed his head around the area. It was a typical hospital; electrical dashboard above the counter stating the number being served, green plants in pots contrasting with the whiteness of the walls, tiled white floor glimmering againts the lights. How wonderful to be finally released.

_Goodbye hospital! _Misaki thought.

The teen, after looking around as his way of saying goodbye to the place that served as his house for a week, looked at the man by the counter. Usami Akihiko was talking to the lady behind the desk, processing the last steps for release. Misaki smiled. Compared to the other men on the different counters, his Usagi-san was standing out. Taller, leaner, and...manlier?

_"What the heck am I thinking!?"_ Misaki scolded himself while shaking his head.

He almost fell off from where he was sitting when all of a sudden, Usagi-san turned his head towards him. The man's eyes were showing worry. As if the man was afraid that Misaki was no longer there sitting when he look back. But when lavender eyes meet the emerald ones, Usami smiled. A smile that sent Misaki's breath stuck in his throat.

After the silverhaired man who was just dressed casually that time turned his attention back to the woman, that was the only time Misaki felt like his breathing came back to normal. Looking towards the pot beside him with green huge leaves, Misaki gritted his teeth.

His heart was aways beating wildly when their eyes meet, when the man brushes his hair, when he smiles at him. And only one word could describe what he was feeling. Happiness.

However, Misaki stole a glance at Usami once more. This time, trouble and pain reflected in his eyes. Like the giddiness he was feeling earlier didn't even pass. He was having a serious problem and he didn't know how to fix it. And he knew he was going to hurt Usagi-san if he didn't come to terms with his inner turmoil.

* * *

Two days after them officially 'going out', Misaki still on bed recovering, the right-hand man of Usami came. Since Usagi-san refused to leave Misaki's side, he had started doing some of his works in Misaki's room. Quietly, the man would sit on Misaki's bed reading or scribbling notes with one hand while his other free hand stroking his darkchocolate hair until he falls asleep. Or at evening, Usagi would pop an earphone in his ear and let him hear the ending song he had been composing for the Sonate Music Competition. With which strangely, Ijuuin's task was to compose the opening theme song for the prestigious event.

Or sometimes they would just stay there in silence with their fingers intertwined. Misaki had never felt so pampered in his life, he could only feel grateful. And then the first strike came.

Usagi-san went out to buy something, Misaki being left alone in his room blankly staring at the thin puffs of clouds outside his window. A soft knock came and when he turned to look who it was, it was the face of the old man Misaki thought was Usami Akihiko the first time the man went to Zone.

Bowing, the old man smiled. "Good morning, Takahashi-kun."

Misaki bowed in response. "I'm feeling better Sir. Thank you."

The teen observed the old man carefully place the silver case he was carrying on top of an extra table Usami had borrowed for his scribblings.

_"He's already maybe about sixty? And he's still working for Usagi-san? A very loyal friend...he's like the perfect butler.._." Misaki thought smiling to himself.

About to leave, the old man with an easy smile turned once more at Misaki. The way the old man looked at him felt like the eyes were inspecting him or something.

"Forgive my boldness," the old man started, his black suit making him appear like a lawyer. "But, what is your relationship with Usami-sama?"

Misaki might not know it, but it was this old man who looked for an investigator Usami wanted for the stabbing incident Io and him was involved with. It was this same man who was assisting Usami Akihiko for the supposed to be surprise Usami was planning for Misaki but sadly had to be cancelled twice because of the unexpected things that came. It wasn't that the man wasn't observing. He fairly know already what was going on. He just wanted to confirm it.

A nervous smile formed on Misaki's lips. What would he say? Where would he start?

"Uhm...I'm his..." Misaki stammered. _We're going out now right? What am I called then?_

He wanted to say 'boyfriend'. However, it felt so not right. 'Partner' didn't quiet sound good either. Misaki's brain started to think hard. 'Lover'? Misaki grimaced at the thought.

_"Lovers are two people that came with an understanding and have surrendered their bodies and souls to one another right? But we...we..."_

Misaki didn't want to think further than that. He clearly was not informed about how two men get together.

"He's my lover, Ohiro-san," a voice with seriousness and conviction filled the room just as Usami Akihiko entered.

The teen gaped at the man. His head had turned blank. He couldn't believe it but it sounded so real. The most amazing thing for Misaki was the old man just nodded and excused himself.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Misaki blurted when he and Usagi-san became the only living souls in the room. It was the first time he ever talked like that to Usagi-san. Somehow, it felt...natural.

Grinning at Misaki, the tall man walked towards him and ruffled his hair. "Answering a question what else?" the man then took a seat on the chair near Misaki's bed.

Usagi-san smiled to himself when Misaki grabbed the blanket and hid himself under it. He was always getting excited to see every little new things about his Misaki. How the kid would frown. How his Misaki would suddenly shout. How he would scowl at some nonsense he was saying. And how he would blush or get shy each time he brushes his lips against Misaki's soft ones whenever he had the chance.

Wasn't that the first steps to getting to know each other better? And Misaki scowling, or sulking sometimes, weren't they signs that the kid was already opening up to him? And he was also starting to show his personality slowly. How he wanted to reveal his imperfections to Misaki. And the most important thing was Usami Akihiko vowed to himself he would never deny Misaki.

If Usami would be questioned, he would be ready to tell the whole world he was in love with someone ten years his junior. That the most important person in his life at that moment was a male like him. He was ready to face the consequences of that. However, though it wasn't yet a serious matter in the eyes of Usami at that point, Misaki's thinking was definitely not the same as the older man's.

* * *

The second strike hit when Arisaka came to visit. It was a humid afternoon and he found Usami Akihiko sleeping. The man was sitting on a chair, his head on his arms on the table at the corner of the room. Quietly putting down his bag and kit down the floor, he sat on Misaki's bed. Thank fully the boy was awake counting some invisible hearts perhaps.

"I'm glad your complexion is getting better," Arisaka muttered while getting something from his bag on the floor. His voice hushed.

Misaki smiled. "I feel so much better now."

"That's good news." The other guy replied and then raised a clearbag of Tangerines. "Want some?"

Eyes glowing at the sight of the fruit, the teen waited patiently as the older man started peeling off the skin.

"Misaki, once you get released here, please I am begging you visit your brother right away. He did nothing but to cry and wipe his snot on my shirt," Arisaka mutterd while shoving a portion of the peeled fruit in Misaki's mouth.

"Nii-chan doesn't cry like that," Misaki mumbled and chewed at the same time, supressing a laugh.

"Well, he does that only to me, so get your ass there soon coz I am getting tired of changing shirts all the time my laundry's piling up."

Misaki started peeling one for himself and got himself busy with the skin. Arisaka then turned his head at the sleeping man at the corner of the room.

"Oi, Misaki, why don't you tell that guy there to go home and do the sleeping there," Arisaka then turned his gaze back at the chewing Misaki. "It doesn't suit his image and he'll just hurt his neck."

Frowning as if remembering having a fight where he was the loser, Misaki sighed. "He won't listen to me."

Suddenly, Arisaka leaned closer towards Misaki, his face inches away, eyes narrowed. "Misaki, are you two going out now?"

The teen forced a smile.

"Eh, where'd you get t-that idea?!" he exclaimed still in a hushed voice.

"Huh? Well, don't you like him? It was so obvious, you can't fool me y~"

"We're not in a relationship!" Misaki hissed.

Misaki gasped.

Just after blurting out the words, Misaki worriedly darted his gaze at Usagi-san in the corner of the room, papers before him, pen still in one hand. The breathing of the man was still steady. There was no sign of him stirring up.

Misaki's contorted face showed relaxation as he sighed in relief. He then turned his gaze back at the man in front him.

"It's not like that...I mean we're..."

The teen looked like his head was about to explode that Arisaka began patting Misaki on the shoulder.

"I shouldn't have asked you that question so suddenly. Sorry. Here, eat more of this," then Arisaka stuffed more into Misaki's mouth.

Misaki chewed and chewed while his eyes were on the back of Usagi-san's silver head. He was planning in all honesty to tell Arisaka they were already in a relationship. He was just trying to sort out words to use, but instead, those words just rolled off his tongue, escaped out of his mouth before he could stop them. It was the reflex of his once straight self before meeting Usagi-san. The reflex of not being able to admit relationships and not being able to admitting being gay openly.

Somehow, he felt he was betraying Usagi-san like that.

After an hour, Arisaka noticed that he was like some stupid, babbling about the things happening in Zone while Misaki was already dozing off. He flicked Misaki's nose with his fingers that caused Misaki to frown in his sleep. Shaking his head, Arisaka stood and picked up his bag on the floor.

Instead of going out the room right away, he walked towards the sleeping Usami Akihiko.

"It's normal. Give it some time," Arisaka muttered, facing the wall and then turned his heels towards the door for a perfect exit. Whether Arisaka knew if Usagi-san was asleep or not when Misaki said those things, no one knew.

The soft click of a door closing filled Misaki's room. And Usagi-san opened his eyes behind the silver locks hiding his face.

Misaki didn't know that he just gave his Usagi-san something to worry about.

Yet the man had no intention on talking about it yet. Usagi-san was determined to take everything slowly, however wondering how long he had to wait for Misaki to finally be open at it without embarrassment. To be open about their relationship with pride. Though love between men was a taboo set by the society, love will always be love. Something that everyone was entitled to. Who cares about society not accepting this. But Usagi-san cared how Misaki would handle such a relationship. Usagi-san was hoping Misaki realizes it on his own.

And at the end of his thinking after hearing Misaki deny their new relationship, though he knew the boy didn't mean it, it was like a shadow behind his happiness Usami chose to carry on his own.

* * *

His trance to a couple of days ago stopped when he felt that something was waiving before his face. When he came to realize, it was Usagi-san waiving his huge hand to get Misaki's attention that wandered to somewhere.

Misaki looked up like he just woke up from a dream.

Bending his back so he could look Misaki in eye level, the silverhaired man squinted his eyes. "Oi, what are you doing spacing out there. You're officially released from the hospital."

"Eh? Already done? I can go home now!?" Misaki exclaimed, his face instantly lighting up.

"Yes, but it seems like you enjoy sitting here and spacing out, so I'll just tell them you're sick again."

Misaki stood abruptly, clearly showing in his eyes that he had have enough of time in the hospital. One more minute he'd surely die.

"Follow me, car's in the underground parking lot."

Misaki and Usagi-san walked quietly as they pass other patients being wheeled by their nurses or perhaps a relative. Some doctors and nurses doing their rounds. Kids playing they must have thought they were in a huge white maze. Seeing these many people once more, Misaki felt like it has been ages since he last mingled with the real world.

A confused look formed on the teen's face when Usagi turned at him and extended his right hand. "Need a hand? You seem like out of place."

Scowling, Misaki pushed Usagi-san's broad back forward, forcing the older man to walk before him. "No thank you. I can handle myself."

Shoes clicking on the floor together with the other sounds of a busy hospital, Misaki stared at the tall guy's back walking confidently before him. He was so bothered. He had wanted to be together with this person. And then when finally they were able to reach each other and come to terms, he couldn't even bring himself to admit it to others, even to his close friend.

Him denying the relationship happened twice already. He bit his bottom lip. He had never thought of actually being out in the open. Did that mean he wanted a secret relationship instead? Usagi-san could say it straight like it was normal while he on the other hand had denied it once to Arisaka. Who knows how many times he would be denying it to others.

It was just starting to sink in, that what he engaged himself into wasn't normal. He wasn't normal. He perfectly knew his feelings for Usagi-san, but what if the situation called for him to admit it, would he be able to stand on firm ground?

Misaki frowned to himself. "You're so stupid thinking about this _now_!"

* * *

Turning his head sideways, the parking lot was empty save for the cars. Misaki tried to erase everything that was bothering him and be happy for a moment after being released finally in that white prison. Pulling off a happier face, Misaki walked briskly towards where Usagi-san was waiting.

Quiet and a bit cold, Misaki could hear his footsteps crisp and clear as he walked towards the red sports car screaming of money. Remembering his first ride in that car wasn't really good, he was all so tense and scared. Happily, Misaki would be able to appreciate the car better this time.

"Usagi-san, can we go to my brother?" the teen asked a few more steps away from the car.

Usagi-san who was resting his back against his car squinted his eyes. "Misaki, your shoe lace..."

At the mention of this, Misaki looked down and noticed the left side of his sneakers was undone, grazing on the rough surface. He was about to sit and fix it when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You shouldn't bend down too much, you'll put stress over your wound."

"Ha? It's healed now~ Usagi!"

Misaki was not able to do anything. He felt somehow embarrassed to see this prominent figure, whose name was admired by many including him, kneel before him and tie the lace for him. He looked at the bowed head of his Usagi-san with a frown, athough his face was hot.

Usagi-san looked up and gave a cocky grin. "I have never kneeled before anybody else, you should know that."

"I didn't ask you to..." Misaki pouted and looked away.

It was only the man's soft chuckle that Misaki heard all the time Usagi was tying his lace for him.

"All done."

"...nk you..." Misaki muttered ever so soflty it was magic if Usagi-san heard it.

Looking at the broad back before him, him following behind, these were one of those moments where he could feel his heart about to explode for no reason. The simple things being done for him, the simple gestures were intoxicating it was as if he was living in a dream. Misaki strongly wished he could soon fix this 'denying' reflex as soon as possible. He didn't want to cause Usagi-san pain, that was plain clear.

All of a sudden, Usami stopped walking. Misaki ended up smacking his forehead against the back of the tall man since he started walking with his gaze on the floor.

"Wha~~"

Usami turned around, suddenly grabbing Misaki's wrist. He moved in closer at Misaki, his lips close to the teen's ear. This sudden closeness, the warm breath against his sensitive skin made Misaki nervous for some reason.

"What is it?" Misaki asked uptightly, gazing up the ceiling of the parking lot with connected black tubes that seemed like a never ending maze. "You're too close Usagi-san someone might see us."

"I want to give you a gift for finally being released," a smiling voice filled the insides of Misaki's ear it was crazy ticklish.

"G-gift? What gi-"

Words from Misaki's lips drowned away, disappeared into the empty air. Usami's lips on Misaki's lips softly like brushing warm breaths on skin, the teen just let it be. After all, he was used to it already. Usami would brush his lips on him whenever there was an opportunity. And Misaki didn't find it bad anyway. And it takes usually a second or two then they'd part away.

However, Misaki's closed eyes shot open wide. This was way longer, he had to break away and breathe. The moment he parted his lips a little, the whole world changed into something else. Usami started taking control of things Misaki didn't even have a clue about. The idea of having another person's tongue inside one's mouth was mortifying to Misaki when he saw some revealing videos. However, being in that situation himself, in the parking lot no less, feeling the warm, strong muscle grope around his mouth as if searching, pushing against his own tongue as if on war, he felt dizzy he was about to fall on his feet.

His body was shaking. His nerves tingling. Misaki was suffocating from this.

He felt a hand support him up, he thought it would end already and yet that different kiss didn't break off. Instead Usami crushed Misaki towards him all the while sucking off the teen's saliva, exchanging his. At first the harsh kiss was shocking, however, to Misaki's surprise, he found it much better than the ones they were previously having. Weak, he just gave up resisting and let it flow.

Such was the invasive connection that when Usami finally withdrew, Misaki was dazed, forgetting that he was just a while ago thinking he'd give Usami a piece of him.

Smiling, Usami ran his thumb on Misaki's lips, wiping the trace of the lip locking. "That's my congratulatory gift. Congrats on your full recovery."

For a moment Misaki stared blankly at Usami. Whether he didn't hear it properly or his brain was still on pause failing to process the idea. However, Usagi's soft laughter watching him still dazed snapped him back to reality he didn't care anymore if someone would see them. He backed away, his hand on his slightly swollen mouth.

"WHAT'S THAT KIND OF GIFT YOU PERVERT!?"

"Aww, you were so accommodating just a while ago , remember?" Usami muttered, reaching out on Misaki's hair but the teen dashed to the car.

Red up to his ears, Misaki scowled, and almost pulled the car door off its hinges and slammed it shut.

"That baka-usagi..." Misaki whispered. He was still weak from the kiss, so he'd go retaliate once he'd recovered. Doing that kind of thing in public was new. Surprisingly he didn't hate it. That kiss was something new. Usami's teasing side was something new. Misaki thought everything that was about to start was new as his heart still continued drumming inside his chest. His heartbeat pounding inside his ears.

* * *

Usami was smiling like some winner from a competition, contented and satisfied that they made another progress. He walked slowly towards his car, on the driver's side and pulled it open.

Before getting inside, the silverhaired man threw a glare at the black Lexus parked on the lot across them. Usami's eyes were serious, went in and sped off.

Ijuuin Kyo who was supposed to visit was just about to get off his car when he caught sight of the two familiar figures walking. He watched how the two had become already open to each other despite the short time. He didn't know however, that Usami's sharp eyes would meet his eyes just when the two was about to get into the car.

He caught everything what Usami Akihiko was painting for him. "This kid's mine alone."

The darkhaired man smiled as he looked down on his lap where a box of Mochi was sitting. Misaki had mentioned before when they were alone that it has been a while since he ate one. It somehow felt a little bitter that he'd have to eat it all by himself.

Ijuuin threw a glance at the disappearing car, the smile he always had was gone.

"I'm done being always second to you...Usami Akihiko."

* * *

**Chapter end notes:**

yey! update! grah...i wanted to continue forever typing but there are things i have to take care aside from this..aww..i really need 48 hours a day!  
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND FOR YOUR SUPPORT! YOUR WORDS ALWAYS BRING SMILE ON MY FACE.^^

i am so excited for the Sonate Competition. ^^

* * *

**SHUUSETSU'S (春****mao) CORNER:**  
i am the kind of person who goes left when everyone goes right.

* * *

-GUESTS AND PEOPLE IN FF KIND ENOUGH TO GIVE THIS FIC ATTENTION. STILL I AM VERY GRATEFUL^^

**あなたの時間をいただき、ありがとうございます ！**


	21. The Turn for the Other

arigatou for the readers and the guests! i am really glad you are enjoying this story as much as i enjoy writing it^^

* * *

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

**【****The Turn for the Other】**

**。。。。。。。。。。。。**

* * *

_When you want something, never give up until you reach it._

Ijuuin Kyo read it aloud. And he couldn't help himself but think how such a stupid thing could earn a space in the Newsletter he was subscribing to. If the writer only knew how many times Ijuuin had been doing the 'never give up' thing, the writer would have no balls typing that irritating sentence.

Considered as one of the prominent composers in the music industry, Ijuuin wasn't completely happy about it. At the music academy where he met the friend who fully understood him, he thought being 'second' would finally end. Yet, in the freaking end of it, he was always second to that friend, Usami Akihiko; during their student days, when they went their own ways, Ijuuin became second with surveys, with number of sales, the person considered to be called in when Usami Akihiko was busy with something else. Honestly, was the word 'second' carved somewhere in his body?

The long fingers of someone obviously very good at playing the piano reached out to one of the Mochis on his table. His lips turned into a smile.

"This should have been Misaki's..." he muttered aloud. "Or at least we should have been eating this together..."

As he chewed it, it tasted like he was chewing rubber. No taste, just plain sticky thing to busy his mouth with.

Unlike Usami Akihiko, Ijuuin Kyo came from a family of musicians. His father, a concert violinist and his mother a concert pianist. His older brother and older sister followed the footsteps of their parents. It was only him who chose to be away from public view. And despite that, he got a number of comparisons and mock from his father.

Yes, his father was so strict. Since Ijuuin showed great potential at being a concert pianist himself, it was what the family wanted for him but young Ijuuin refused. The torment he had to suffer when Ijuuin realized that his friend, Usami was better in all aspect was so great.

"Being second to someone else is the same as being a loser, Kyo!" his father once shouted when he saw in the academy site the rankings of the music students.

When he was compared to, Ijuuin would smile, when he was irritated, he would smile, when he was sad and lonely he would smile. Before Ijuuin knew it, he was smiling at every opportunity when he was feeling about to lose it. A front to hide the weakness he was told never to show anybody else.

The door opened softly revealing a man seriously carrying a stack of papers.

"Yoh," he greeted nonchalantly.

Fuji's eyes widened in shock, the papers he was holding almost slipped his hands.

"For goodness sake Ijuuin, don't scare me like that!" Fuji growled, gathering back his secretarial composure.

The man walked towards Ijuuin's dark table and placed the papers on top carefully. "I thought you'd be out today. Why are you here now?" the secretary asked while sorting something.

Ijuuin rested his head on top of the head rest of his chair and looked up the ceiling.

"Well, something came up," Ijuuin answered sighing. "Or rather, something did not come so that's why I'm here with you."

Finally finding what he was looking for, Fuji pulled it and then looked at the dark haired man who was as if thinking something very deep.

"As usual Ijuuin, your vagueness, I worship."

Ijuuin looked at Fuji and grinned. "Now I like that..."

Resigning himself that his boss was really something he wouldn't be able to explain, Fuji raised the paper at Ijuuin's face. "Oi, the panel sent me another message if you're done with the opening theme song for the Sonate? Here, read that, they're all over their heads now."

Ijuuin ignored the paper and looked at his empty music sheet in front of him. "Is the ending theme already done?"

Fuji crossed his arms. "That's why they're going crazy. For the first time Usami Akihiko had submitted his piece way before the deadline, so the only one left for them to nag is you."

"Really?" Ijuuin smiled at the empty music sheet before him. And he burst out laughing.

* * *

"Listen Usagi-san, don't you act strangely before my brother!"

Misaki was almost jumping, flying his way to his brother's room. His chocolate hair bouncing as he hopped, Usami wondered if the area had been as lively and bright as this. The last time he walked the same path with the eccentric guy named Arisaka, it was just glum. Or perhaps, it was Misaki's happiness radiating to everywhere.

The teen knocked excitedly at the door and pushed it open. "Nii-chan!"

"Misaki!" Takahiro who was just sitting quietly exclaimed. Obvious relief and happiness could be seen from his face.

Usami watched the teen jump towards the bed and cuddle into the arms of his older brother's body with a smile. It clearly showed how close the two of them were.

Misaki circled his arms around Takahiro's waist, his head on his brother's lap like a child. Misaki was so happy and content at the moment. Because this was it, the different kind of warmth of his brother he missed so much, the huge hand on his hair patting him. Everything was just so good Misaki felt like crying.

"Misaki," Takahiro started with a crease in his forehead. He cupped his younger brother's cheeks and looked into the green eyes. Not that he could see them anyway. "You lost so much weight. How could you be any skinnier than you already are?"

"Huh? How can you tell?" Misaki asked dumbfounded as he started sitting properly, he tugged his collar outwardly and looked inside. Well, everything was still flat. Misaki didn't know that Usami by the door was trying not to laugh at what he was doing.

Takahiro tapped the bed with his right hand. "Because the bed didn't creak as loudly as it used to whenever you jumped in."

"Eh?"

Takahiro smacked Misaki lightly on the head. "And don't let the visitor just stay by the door, invite him in!"

"Ah, right, I'm sorry!" Misaki jumped from the bed and pulled a chair for Usami to sit on. "Please come in and have a seat," he motioned for the man and then turned to his brother.

"Uhm, Nii-chan, this person is..." the teen looked at Usami once more and then at his brother pursing his lips. He couldn't think of a way to introduce the man to his brother properly and without hurting his Usagi-san.

_What should I say?_

_"So suddenly formal, huh_?" Usami thought to himself. He walked quietly and sat gracefully on the chair set by Misaki. It was like having a King visit a room of a servant in Misaki's imagination.

"Good afternoon, I'm Usami Akihiko, Misaki's friend."

The teen gaped at Usami for a while. It felt quiet not right since they weren't just friends. Somehow that was disheartening for Misaki. He knew Usagi-san just helped him out of an awkward situation. But doing it still felt bad. It was like lying to his brother, and shunning their real relationship at the same time.

"I'll, I'll make some tea," Misaki cut in before turning to the small table at the corner of the room where a thermos and dried tea leaves were resting. He just listened to the two men converse for the first time.

"Ah...Usami Akihiko? _The_ Usami Akihiko?" Takahiro muttered unable to hide the surprise in his unseeing eyes.

"'The'?" Usami repeated and smiled. "I'm just a regular person."

Takahiro extended his hand and the silver haired man gave it a firm shake.

"I am Takahashi Takahiro, Misaki's older brother. Nice to meet you! I never expected to be able to meet in person a living legend. I'm really honored," the unseeing man smiled happily.

Usami couldn't help but to think that the two was indeed brothers. Takahiro and Misaki both had the knack at making others feel relaxed and welcome. "It's my pleasure meeting you too."

"Say, Nii-chan," Misaki cut in as he pushed the table where the tea he prepared was. "How'd you know I have someone else with me? He didn't even set foot in yet."

Takahiro took the cup Misaki gave him and laughed. "Well, he smelled differently from you."

"What is that?!" Misaki blurted. "Are you saying I smell bad?"

"No, the air around him is different. I didn't say you smell bad. However, your nose is closer to you so you can tell it on your own."

"What the heck Nii-chan!?"

Usami watched them with a content smile on his face, sipping the tea Misaki prepared and watch Misaki with energy fool around with his brother. If only all families were this close, the world would be so much different.

The entire afternoon passed with Usami telling some stories of his travels and how he composes where Takahiro and Misaki listened with interest. The sun outside was already turning orange, giving the insides of the room a feeling of a mystery.

"Ei, Nii-chan, U-sami-san," Misaki called out as he stood from his seat. "I'll just go out to check something."

Usami watched Misaki disappear from the door. And when he looked back at Takahiro he was surprised to see some tears the man hurriedly wiped with a tissue.

"Takahashi-san?" Usami asked, worried that perhaps something was hurting.

The man in bed shook his head slowly. "No, don't worry I'm fine. I am just really happy his dream to be able to meet you came true. What's more you've become friends."

Usami smiled. _We're more than friends, though_. "You don't have to worry about Takahashi-kun too much. I'll look after him."

"Thank you. You're so kind. I owe a lot to that brother of mine. I can't do anything else but to support him in anything that he wants," Takahiro finally calmed the tears in his eyes. Only reddish trace in his nose was visible.

"Were you born like this?" Usami asked out of the blue. Curiosity took the better of him.

The look on Takahiro was a mix of shock and sorrow that Usami regretted asking.

"No, I was a normal salary man just a year ago..."

* * *

"Usagi-san, thank you for coming with me," Misaki muttered happily as he was trying to put seat belt on him. "My Nii-chan is a fan of you too so I'm sure deep inside him he's doing some summersualts!"

Misaki laughed but the man beside him was quiet. The yellowish light from the inside of the car just hid Usami's expression behind his hair. The night had already settled in, there were many people in the parking lot too. Although Misaki was very happy, perhaps his Usagi-san felt forced to act all happy in front of his brother.

"Usagi-san, I'm sorry if you're tired because of this..." Misaki murmured looking at his lap, the seat belt still undone.

The light inside the car disappeared suddenly, enveloping the two of them in darkness. Misaki turned his head towards the man in the driver's seat questioningly and instead felt hands circle his waist. He felt being pulled forward, towards his Usagi-san's broad chest, his grip on the seat belt weakening, until he had no choice but to let it go.

Dark and quiet, Misaki was surprised by the sudden act that he was rendered speechless for a while.

"Usagi-san? What's wrong?"

A little embarrassed, Misaki winced when he felt his Usagi-san kiss the base of his neck for a short while. "Hey...Usagi-san! What are you doing?"

The hug grew tighter as if Usagi-san was trying to crush the breath out of Misaki's frail body.

"Just stay like this for a while," the voice was deep and low. Warm and yet Misaki felt shivering.

There in that small space of the red sports car, devoid of light since the older man had turned it off, Misaki raised his hand and ran his palm against Usagi-san's warm back. The teen didn't know why the man was being like this, so he just did what he thought would make the man feel that he was not alone.

_"I became like this because of an accident. A wine accident,"_ Usami remembered Takahiro telling him that with a pained face._ "It was Misaki's gift for me, the wine in a pretty bottle. Since I forbade him to drink because he is still underaged, I was the only one that got affected."_

_"Wine?"_ Usami asked, remembering the wine accident in Teito hotel where he had slapped Misaki for the first time. Thinking about it, how he just mindlessly hit the teen, he felt his stomach churning in disgust at himself.

_"Yeah. The wine Misaki bought was one of those illegal wines circulating. I lost my sight and the ability to walk because of it. I..."_ Takahiro gripped the blanket. _"I blamed Misaki for it, to the point that I even hurt him physically but he never left me and stayed with me despite the horrible things I said."_

The sun had completely disappeared and the room felt gloomy at that time despite the strong white lights from the bulb above their heads.

_"It took me a long while to finally realize it wasn't Misaki's fault. He even gave up his studies and started working just to make the two of us survive..."_

Usami watched the unseeing eyes roam around the room as if doing so would make him see even something a little. His lavender eyes traced the legs under the thick blankets that used to walk and carry this man to everywhere he pleased and yet, now, no muscle would even move at Takahiro's command.

Usami was horrified thinking that it was supposed to happen to him too. It was all heaven's doing that Misaki was there and stopped him from drinking that wine despite the cold treatment he was giving the kid before.

Usami sighed his thanks to all the unseen entities of the world at the warm skin of Misaki's neck. This sweet feeling he would never allow to escape him.

"Usagi-san, really what has gotten into you?" the teen muttered still patting his back softly.

"Misaki..." the deep voice continued. The warm breath was sending off goose bumps on the teen's skin.

"Usagi-san...can you release now?"

Instead of releasing, the arms just stayed around Misaki. As if saying there would be no letting go.

"Misaki...I am falling in love with you more with each passing second... with each things I get to discover about you..."

There was a long silence in the car. The people walking towards their own cars wouldn't know there were two men inside the car hugging each other, into their own worlds. Cars passed them by, people passed them by. Usami was just there clinging like a lost child to Misaki. His heart was already beating this wildly just knowing the kid was with him this close.

Slowly, Usami released his arms around Misaki, allowing him room to breath. Still the darkness was there, hiding them behind the tinted windows.

"Misaki," Usami called, sounding calm and yet serious at the same time.

"Hmmm?"

"Do you want to live with me?"

Eyes wide, Misaki stared at the man in the shadows.

* * *

"Tadaema..."

He felt the coldness of the wooden floors against his feet after removing his shoes. It has been a while since he last set foot in this precious apartment. Everything felt so old and quiet and yet he felt the sense of belonging in it. He opened the doors of the rooms, and the windows. He went to the kitchen, his favorite place, his throne. Eyes eyeing his table wares and kitchen tools, Misaki ran his index finger over the table and raised it to his face. He frowned.

"Dirty. It's dirty everywhere," Misaki muttered as he whirled around the place he could call his and his brother's alone. He sighed. He'd have to do major cleaning or he'd die from dust suffocation.

It was already nine in the evening. Yet Misaki couldn't just let the things be undone like that. So fully decided, he grabbed his cleaning apron, put it on and decided cleaning the house.

He was wiping the top of the kitchen table with a soft cloth when he found himself pausing in the middle.

"I did the right thing...didn't I?" he asked the table. No one answered.

His grip tightened. His sigh ever increasing in number as he continued working.

* * *

_"Why not?" Usami Akihiko asked at a loss._

_The car they were in was back to normal. A car with lights inside, a car that runs on the road through the building up traffic of the evening rush hour. The silent hum of the airconditioning filled the silence that Misaki left after rejecting the offer. Feeling awkward, Misaki turned his gaze at the cars beside them on their way to their own destinations._

_"Give me a proper explanation Misaki," the composer asked sternly as he maneuvered expertly in the roads. The red sports car was like a racing comet from the view of the people on top of the surrounding sky scrapers in busy Tokyo._

_"Because...Usagi-san..."_

_"I want to be with you for as long as I can. See your face first thing in the morning and before I fall asleep. Why are you saying no?" Usami continued asking as he made a left turn._

_"I want to be independent Usagi-san..."_

_"Independent?" Usami interferred with a tone a little annoyed. "Misaki, you're with me now. You should rely to me now. I'll even help you with your brother's concerns."_

_"NO WAY!"_

_At the sudden outburst, the red sports car that has just been racing on the roads halted. If not for the seatbelt, Misaki would have kissed the windshield. The blast of the horns coming from the cars from behind creeped its way inside the red sports car. Sighing in relief Misaki looked at Usagi-san who had a hard expression plastered on his face. This man was not used to getting rejected without a second thought._

_Both knew they wouldn't be able to talk properly while on the road. So in silence, Usami Akihiko drove the car to a gradeschool parking lot. They didn't make a move. They just sat quietly, their eyes in front._

_The school building was dark. The school grounds empty save from the flashlight a security guard was carrying, flashing here and there as he expected the vicinity, doing his job._

_"Usagi-san, just so you know, I didn't say I love you so I could find someone to shoulder my responsibilities," Misaki started with a soft voice._

_"Misaki, your responsibilities, I wanted them to be mine as well. Don't be stubborn."_

_Frowning, Misaki scratched the back of his head. He dropped his gaze to his hands on his lap._

_"You know, Usagi-san, I am very grateful for your offers. The thought is more than enough. But I want to stand on my own. I know I sound arrogant. But Usagi-san, I have two hands and two feet that can work. I want to stand on my own. Help my brother on my own. Make my own name with my own hands."_

_"You can still do those things while living beside me," Usami countered, now looking at Misaki's depressed form. "Or do you not want to be with me as much as I want?"_

_"Usagi-san, just...give me time to fix things."_

_"You really don't want to go home with me?"_

_"..."_

_"When will you go home with me?" the composer, the man who was older, ranted like a child asking for his candy._

_"Who knows? Maybe soon?" Misaki grinned at the man beside him._

_Usami stared at the dark green eyes before him. The more he stared, the more he felt like losing. He extended his hand and rested it on Misaki's head. "You win. Just for tonight," he sighed sounding with a hint of bitterness._

_The composer started driving him towards his apartment. Through his profile, Misaki could see a little sadness in those eyes. He wasn't just ready yet to live together. How would he act in the first place? How would he pull himself in front of this almost perfect man. Why almost? Misaki smiled. His Usagi-san can be a child at times, he just realized. He found it funny he started grinning by himself._

_"What's so funny?"_

_"Nothing, Usagi-san...you're so cute, I think."_

_"HA!?" Usami had to stop his car again. Never in his life has anybody told him he was cute. If anybody had told him that, they'd have their teeths flying off everywhere for sure. But it was coming from Misaki's lips, he felt embarrassed._

_"If anyone's cute here...it's gotta be you. Don't tell your seniors they're cute, Misaki, that's rude."_

_"Don't tell me I'm cute...I'm a boy Usagi-san."_

_"Well look here, I AM a MAN."_

Call it stupid, or both of them insane, but they continued their drive in laughter. How Misaki wished that this kind of peace would stay like this forever.

* * *

"Uwah~finaly I'm done!"

Misaki slumped to his bed with new sheets and roamed his gaze around his room. They were back to its original state before he got stabbed. Squeaky -clean. When he turned to his side, he smiled as he ruffled his hair. Showering after a hardwork was the best. It felt so relaxing he could doze off any moment.

He closed his eyes, thinking he'd start looking for a new job the next day. He wouldn't let Usagi-san act like his patron or something. He wanted to someday be able to stand together with him on equal footing. Though it may take him forever to do that.

He felt like floating away from his bed only to fall back down.

"Hmmm?"

_You have a call! Shing Shing! A call!_

He ran his fingers over the bed side table where his phone was and mindlessly placed the phone against his ear while burrying his face on his pillow.

_"Misaki, are you sleeping now?"_

Eyes wide now, fully awake, body tensing, Misaki sat on the bed, his face a little flushed. There was really no getting used to hearing this voice ringing inside his ears so softly.

"Usagi-san?" Misaki answered, looking at the Keroppi alarm clock that said 11:20 in the evening. "It's late...aren't you supposed to be sleeping now?"

"I want to hear your voice. You won't live with me yet, so I want to hear you before I sleep."

Rubbing his eyes hiding his smile, he frowned fakely as if Usagi could see it. "What are you saying?"

_"Whatever..."_

Then there was silence. Misaki was growing impatient. He could only hear a soft breathing from the other line.

"Oi, I know you are rich Usagi-san but don't waste money if you're not going to talk, I'm hanging up."

_"Sshhhh...just a little more. I'm charging up."_

"Ch-charging?"

_"Misaki?"_

"What?" the teen scowled. He didn't know what the older man was trying to do.

_"I will never stop trying,_  
_I will never stop watching as you leave_  
_I will never stop losing my breath_  
_Everytime I see you lookin back at me_  
_I will never stop holding your hand_  
_I will never stop opening your door_  
_I will never stop choosing you babe_  
_I will never get used to you..."*1_

Speechless, Misaki stared at his feet for a long while. Did Usagi-san just sang for him? Did _the_ Usami Akihiko just sang for him? Misaki looked around making sure he was still in his room awake and not dreaming. His face was hot, he felt like there was some steam coming off from his head.

"Wha-what...Usa-"

_"Awed much?"_

Misaki grimaced. Such arrogance! "Not very much!"

_"Actually that's my real congratulatory gift for you. Didn't like it?"_

About to bury his own self in embarrassment, Misaki hid his face on his knees. "Th-thank you very much..."

"What do I do now? I will never be able to sleep..." Misaki muttered silently as he stared at his phone when Usagi-san finally hung-up.

* * *

It has been almost three days of job hunting for Misaki. But for a young man who hadn't even finished his high school studies, it was getting harder and harder for Misaki to get a decent one. There were openings in a construction site. But in that kind of body of his, he will never be able to put of with the strenous work. The restaurants he checked, they were all paying a little low than he was hoping up for. They were no good as well. Aside from the fact that it will eat all his time, it would be exausting and he was even planning on taking two to three jobs at the same time.

Everytime Usami and Misaki would meet for a small lunch or dinner, the man would always bring up the subject of living together which he always turned down. He wouldn't also discuss the ordeal of looking for a job. He only talked about funny things although, in his mind, perhaps, Usagi-san already has a picture of his dilemma and was just giving him space since he asked for it.

On the third day of job hunting, Misaki was almost at the verge of tears when he got a call from the agency he passed an application.

"Good morning!" Misaki greeted when he entered a cluttered office full of women who seemed to be facing a storm.

The teen was wearing a simple, white polo and black trousers with his sling bag dangling from his shoulder. He had tried so hard to fix his hair properly but they went all over the place no matter how hard he tried and gave up eventually.

The woman with huge spectacles raised her eyes from what she was typing and looked at Misaki from head to foot.

"You're name?"

"Ahm...Takahashi Misaki," he answered, forcing a smile. When he roamed his eyes around, all white walls, sticky notes on every space where they could stick one, women with deep frowns and men grunting all the time, this place seemed so not fun at all. But he couldn't be picky.

The woman dialled a number on the phone on her table while typing something on her computer with one hand. Misaki was so awed by the woman's ability to do things at the same time. She was like a robot.

"Yes, yes," the woman answered. "He's here already. Shall I tell him to go meet you now?"

_"Oh great, I could really use some help now. Oh wait, what's his name?"_

Misaki was feeling nervous.

"His name is Takahashi Misaki, aren't you reading the information I e-mailed you?" the woman asked with a furrow, Misaki felt more nervous his heart was sinking.

_"Sorry, sorry! Don't be mad it's still early in the morning! Hmm though...that sounds familiar, anyway tell him to come to my office now, thanks Minami-san."_

Raising her gaze to Misaki from her computer screen, she wrote something on a sticky note and extended it to him.

"That's the name of the person you'll be assisting. Their office is on the 8th floor. They're occupying the entire floor so it wouldn't be difficult for you," the woman smiled for the first time Misaki felt he was thrown out of his loop. The woman was such a beauty if she wasn't like an old lady frowning like that.

"Do your best kid."

* * *

The entire elevator ride felt so long for Misaki. This would be the first time for him to work in an office. In such a huge one at that. He was just lucky that a person such himself with not much marketable skills would be hired by a huge office.

When he stepped out of the elevator, he was greeted by a modern style interior. A mix of red and white and black filled his eyes. The hallway had a red carpet, the walls white and the sofas from afar for guests perhaps where shining black. The contrast was too much for Misaki's new eyes at such design. He was used to the very business like setting in Zone.

He continued walking while swallowing his nervousness until he found a door with a number 201. He took a deep breath and was about to knock. But the door was made of blurred glass, he would just hurt himself. He finally found a black button on the side after ignorantly inspecting the entire door. Instead of any ringing, the door opened widely for him.

Misaki found a man in suit standing by a huge shelf. He turned to him and smiled.

"Oh thank God you're here now. Hi, you'll be working for me. Don't worry I am not a devil. I won't exaust you."

The man smiled warmly at Misaki that made the teen somehow relieved.

The man left what he was doing and motioned at Misaki to come follow him towards his table.

"So, Takahashi-kun, I am the secretary of some worthless piece of work, and you'll be assisting me because we're in the middle of really very busy season. These are the contract and the scope of your jobs so please read them over there..." the man pointed at a plush sofa set at the corner of his office.

Observing the entire office of this man, it was obvious he was doing a lot of things but he still managed to keep things in order.

"I wish you won't find anything bad about the contract and the offer, and just sign right away," the man smiled again at him.

Misaki bowed and thanked the brunette and was about to move to start reading when the automatic glass doors where he came from opened once more.

A man wearing darkrimmed eyeglasses entered. His legs moved like the man owned the entire place even though he was just in blue jeans and a fitting blue v-neck shirt. Busy with his eyes set towards the papers in hand, he grunted, "Hoy, Fuji, what the hell is this schedule? Fix this, I don't want to go to the Sonate meeting tomorrow. Cancel this."

"Ijuuin-san?" Misaki couldn't help himself but blurt it out. He was shocked as if seeing a ghost.

The tall man lifted his gaze from the papers, removed his eyeglasses and squinted with unbelieving eyes at the green-eyed boy staring at him. "Takahashi Misaki? What are you-?"

"He's going to be my assistant Ijuuin," Fuji cut in. " That is if he didn't find anything to complain about my offers," he muttered while smiling at the teen.

* * *

Earlier that morning Ijuuin Kyo decided to unsubscribe with the Newsletter as he kept on getting nonsense.

"The die is rolling. The ball is turning. What's under will be on top. Uncertainty makes the world go round for you. What you don't have will be at you doorstep, you just have to take care of it."

Maybe he would resume subscription.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**  
I hope you enjoyed this chappy.  
^^ so i came down with a fever but this didn't stop me so i give my self 10000 claps. LoL..^^

*tadaima- i'm home!

*1the thing Usagi-san sang is a a song titled "never stop" by SafetySuit. I am currently obssessed with this band. I just learned them recently and all of their songs had me addicted.^^

- my ears are bleeding, i feel hot because of my fever or because of the BL drama Cd Punch Up i was listening to a while ago.^^? hahaha..

-till then

-shuusetsu

to** PLZ- i am so glad you like it enough to make a movie for it! ahaha..sure go ahead. tell me once you're done so i can watch okay? really i feel honored!:*:・(^∀^)・:*:**


	22. Hidden Shutters

_1st part of the 2-chapter updat_e hello everyone! thank you for the support!

* * *

●●● Hidden Shutters ●●●  
。。。。。。。。。。。。

* * *

_What should I do? What do I do? What am I supposed to do with this?_

Misaki rattled his mind as he read the offer and the contract he had in his hands. The offer was so good it was impossible to not accept. The salary was above what he was hoping for for just assisting with typing documents and sending out mails and answering phonecalls. On top of that, there was a food allowance and transportation allowance.

But there was one problem. Ijuuin Kyo.

The teen pretended he was absorbed with what he was reading at the corner of the spacious office. However, at the corner of his eyes, he watched Ijuuin Kyo and his secretary converse as if they were not boss and employee.

"Can't you do anything about this meeting tomorrow? I don't feel like going."

"Ijuuin, you've been skipping most of the meetings already, it's me their chewing alive!"

After sometime, Misaki focused his eyes at the papers once more.

Usagi-san would be mad for sure. But it's not like I planned on ending up here right? the teen started nibbling the tip of his pen. Without him knowing, his brows started to meet in a frown as well. I am not working for Ijuuin-san directly anyway...if I sign this...there's no turning back...

It must have been a while that he was thinking all on his own, since when he raised his head from the papers, the two men were already standing before him.

"Not done yet?" Fuji asked with a concerned look. Probably thinking Misaki was seeing something not good with the contract.

Waiving the pen he was holding, Misaki forced a smile. "Sorry, I was just trying to understand everything."

"Ah, I see, but Takahashi-kun if you have some demands or something in mind, tell me. I really like the air around you I'd feel bad if you just turn away," the brunette said this with a genuine smile that made Misaki more pressured.

"..." Misaki looked back at the papers. His hands were sweating he was getting afraid the contract will melt already.

"Ah right," Fuji exclaimed. "I've got to go down for a package," the man started walking for the exit when he turned his head back. "Ijuuin, don't pester my future assistant and get your ass to work! Compose that thing already will you?"

_Future?_ Misaki repeated sweating cold sweat. The secretary was really set on the teen working for him.

Ijuuin waived his had in the air and took a seat across Misaki, his legs crossed, his face in a grin as he watched Misaki frown here and there at the papers before him.

"Are you worried about Usami Akihiko?"

At the mention of the name, Misaki's eyes straight away darted at the dark eyes smiling at him. That sure hit the nail in the head.

"No...uhm...the offer is kind of too good I guess..."

"I'm surprised, Usami-san is allowing you to look for a job," Ijuuin continued, his smile not wavering.

"I insisted..." Misaki answered looking back again at the papers. He'd been sitting there for almost thirty minutes and the only thing left to do was sign it to seal the deal.

"Usami-san and I aren't in good terms," Ijuuin started. A smile that wasn't happy at all was what Misaki caught in those dark eyes before him.

"But don't allow that to hinder you from the opportunities set before you. You'll never survive in this world if you keep on thinking first about others before yourself."

Those words sounded a lot similar to what his Usagi-san told him before. Be hard, be thick-skinned. Chewing on his lip, Misaki sighed and with all focus, signed the papers with his name.

* * *

_Ah...why do I feel like I regret what I did?!_

Stepping into the orange-streaked streets of Tokyo as he made his way home, Misaki battled in his mind if he made the right decision. The day passed very fast after Fuji showed him how he work in his office. The routine at how the calls were being answered. How the formats of the documents should be like. And how Misaki should sort out invitations according to the date and such. It wasn't really a hard work.

The hard work would be explaining things with the guy who turns into a narrow-minded mess when it comes to him.

Misaki stepped into the grocery and pictured the list he made in his mind. Tonight, he'd make curry. A spicy one to wake his senses and gather courage to face Usagi-san.

_It's not like I'm cheating anyway. It's work! It's work!_ he consoled himself.

The stall for the frozen meat was neat and clean as usual. Misaki scrutinized them with expert eyes when he had the urge to look back. What he saw was just an empty space between the spices and canned goods shelves. There was no one.

_Strange...I felt someone was staring at me.._.Misaki thought while frowning to himself. To be honest, he was having that strange sensation of being stared at. But since he was in a public place, it might have been just his imagination altogether.

He ignored the strange feeling of being watched and continued shopping. With his bag on his right shoulder and the red basket in his left, Misaki went to the drinks section to buy fresh milk.

_You have a call! Shing Shing! A call!_

Misaki knew already who'd be calling him and so, putting the basket on the floor, Misaki fished his phone from his bag and smiled while staring at the top part of the huge clear freezer.

"Usagi-san?" the teen greeted happily.

Misaki hadn't notice it. The time his phone rang, there was the sound of a camera shutter taking photos of him from a distance. And a silhoutte of a murky presence following him.

* * *

There was nothing left for Misaki to do but stare guiltily at the wooden floors of his apartment. HIs hair a mess since he just woke up. It was a Saturday. Misaki's first day off from working for Ijuuin Kyo's secretary. Misaki never imagined that answering phone calls and typing documents would exhaust him that much.

Misaki's tired form even angered the man seated across him all the more.

"Misaki," the voice was hard. It clearly sounded that the man was in no mood to hear explanations that were running around the bush. "You told me happily you found a job. And you've been working for a week in that job of yours already. But you have never once told me you are working for Ijuuin Kyo. What the hell is this?"

_What should I do? I intended to tell him right away but I can't just find the right time to bring it up. I knew this would be coming!_

"I tried telling you!" Misaki blurted. It was eight in the morning and his brain wasn't prepared yet for such an early stress. "I wanted to tell you but I can't find the time!"

Usami Akihiko's eyes were as sharp as the piercing head ache that was starting to develop in Misaki's head. The lavender eyes narrowed, arms crossed across his broad chest, the man had a grim face.

"Resign from that job Misaki. I can't believe I told you already be careful around that guy. Stay away! And yet you happily went into him! What are you thinking?"

That was it. Misaki snapped out of the patience he was trying to stay in but that sentence broke it.

"Happily went to Ijuuin-san?" Misaki hissed."Usagi-san, I didn't know that the agency would send me to their office in the first place! And it's not like I am doing anything bad!"

That was the first time Misaki had shouted with such a heated tone at Usami. The older man fell silent for a moment. Misaki stood from the small sofa he was sitting on and stomped his way towards the small, homey kitchen to get a drink. He didn't want to fight. But Usagi-san and his possessiveness was making it hard for the two of them.

_I was even proud that I found something I could do!_ Misaki retorted. The door of the refrigerator remained open as he stared at the bottles of water in it. He stared at them with blurry eyes.

_Baka-Usagi._..rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, Misaki swallowed the sob of irritation down his parched throat._ It's not as if I am flirting. I am working so I can be his equal someday...why can't he understand that?!_

Misaki didn't budge when he heard nearing footsteps towards him. He didn't turn his face when he heard Usagi-san's voice calling him. And he didn't move when he felt gentle arms circle his body from behind.

"Misaki..." the voice whispered at the back of the teen's ears, Misaki had to shut his eyes to maintain a strong front._ I'm mad. I'm mad. I'm not going to be swayed..._

"Usagi-san, no matter what you say I am not resigning," Misaki hoped his voice sounded hard enough for the older man to realize that he already made up his mind.

Instead of a reply, Usagi-san burried his face on Misaki's shoulder and sighed. Cleary Usagi-san didn't want having this kind of atmosphere around them either. "Misaki, I love you."

With a frown, Misaki tried to break free. "I am being serious here, Usagi-san!"

Usami held Misaki imprisoned in his strong arms. The teen's eyes dropped to his feet and his hands that were trying to free himself from the older man's hold fell on his sides.

How could he remain struggling like that and act like an ice when he could feel his Usagi-san's heart thundering fast and strong against his back? It was stirring so many emotions in him and he shoud just admit it. He couldn't get mad at Usagi-san even if he was acting like a senseless child.

"Usagi-san..." Misaki started feeling weak and sad, "Don't you believe in me? I am only working there. Nothing more."

Inhaling the morning scent of the teen lingering around his nose, Usami cuddled even more. "It's not like I don't have faith in you. It's that Ijuuin I don't trust."

Misaki smiled to himself. "Usagi-san, you don't have anything to be jealous about Ijuuin-san. He's just a friend who saved my life once."

The world whirled around Misaki when Usagi-san suddenly turned his body around so that they could face each other. The teen blinked a couple of times to shoo away the slight dizziness in his head.

"You just don't understand what I feel Misaki," Usagi began cupping both the teen's flushed cheeks with his cold hands. "Ever since you started working there, the only time I get to see you is during lunch or dinner. That Ijuuin gets to see you longer than I do. Just thinking about it is enough to make me go insane."

Looking up, meeting the lavender gaze at him being so honest, Misaki felt so blessed to be with this man. Though he realized one more thing about his Usagi-san, he wasn't just childish. He was also possessive. And Misaki didn't hate it the least bit. If anything, he felt being loved.

He looked at the perfect face looking down on him._ I was selfish too, wasn't I?_ Misaki finally admitted._ I was so into standing on my own I didn't even consider what Usagi-san might feel about this. I was just thinking about myself..._

"Is that your only concern, Usagi-san?" Misaki asked with stopping himself from grinning. He just had one idea to put the man at ease.

A frown slowly formed on Usami's forehead as he stared into the emerald eyes that was hypnotizing him.

"If this is the only thing that could make you feel at ease Usagi-san...I'll live together with you."

"Huh?"

Misaki felt dubious and embarrassed at the kind of reply he got. He was expecting a happy Usagi, instead it was as if the man heard a stupid thing.

Looking away now really about to melt away from embarrassment, Misaki frowned. "I said, I will live with you. S-stay with you...so that Usagi-san won't come up with strange ideas anymore!"

"Misaki..." the older man called out, squeezing the teen's shoulder like he was waking up Misaki from something. "You do realize what you're getting yourself into by saying you'll live with me, don't you?"

Now it was Misaki's turn to frown at what the tall man was saying. "What the hell? Usagi-san it was you who proposed the idea in the first place! I just want you to feel at ease! Fine...no more living with you!"

The teen stomped away, only for his wrist to be pulled by Usami. Their eyes met. And suddenly Misaki's heart started getting uneasy it thumped like crazy...he just got what the taller man was saying. Living together, being together, staying under one roof...no he didn't want to think anymore than that.

Despite his crazy heart beat, he felt strangely calm when Usagi-san planted a kiss on the top of his messy mop of hair. The man's both hands on his shoulders, Misaki could only look at his bare feet, wriggling his toes.

"Thank you, Misaki. I am realy very, very happy."

Despite making an unhappy face while he rested his forehead againts the chest of the tall man before him, cheeks burning red, Misaki didn't say anything and just nodded.

* * *

When Misaki stepped out of the back exit of his apartment building, he couldn't help but squint his eyes around. The sun was already up in the sky, glaring at him and the sudden brightness hurt his eyes. He looked around the parking lot and his eyes hurt even more. The screaming red sports car was enough to send Misaki's head spiking up in a headache. The car was just too bright for his eyes under the raging sunlight.

Usami Akihiko already was on the door of his car, waiting for Misaki. The teen grunted. With his one hand carrying a small suit case, Misaki trudge the hot open parking lot and frowned.

The silverhaired man insisted Misaki go with him right there and then, and the teen cannot refuse. In the end he gathered some of his stuff and resigned himself to started living with his Usagi-san starting that day.

"Misaki, are you planning on sun bathing? Move faster..." the man called out, tapping the door he had opened for Misaki.

Sighing, Misaki ran towards the car, threw his case in and glared at Usami. The act just earned a small laugh from the man. The teen went inside the car while his hair being messed up my the older man. Strangely, Usagi-san loved petting his hair like he was some cute animal or something.

Once the two had settled in, seatbelts in check, Misaki looked at Usami for a while. The man turned his gaze at Misaki before pulling over out of the lot.

"What?" the man muttered while checking on his rearview mirror.

"How did you know I was working for Ijuuin-san?" the teen asked softly, his brow raising in suspicion. "Don't tell me you have spies on me Usagi-san!"

There was a crisp laughter that filled the car. Usami then finally successfully maneuvered the car on the road and started their journey to get lunch first.

"I am really awed by how wild your imagination is."

"But..." Misaki frowned, still unconvinced. "You didn't? No spies whatsoever?"

Lavender eyes threw a glance at Misaki's direction then stared ahead of the road.

"I told you I trust you," Usami answered. "I heard it when I went to a meeting for Sonate yesterday and overheard Ijuuin's secretary praising his new assistant that happens to have a name Takahashi Misaki."

Relaxing, Misaki slumped on his seat and stared on the road as well. "That so?"

"Why did you ask?"

Misaki ignored his feeling of being watched and smiled. "No reason at all..."

* * *

He pressed a couple of times more. Catching up the red sports car leaving the apartment complex. When the car was completely out of his gaze, he lowered his SLR and checked his shots.

"Cool...these are really cool..." a determined voice uttered inside a white car. His brown eyes excitedly looked at his perfect shots of two men in a hospital room kissing. In the parking lot kissing. Eating out. And other things that would tell the two persons were in a relationship.

He looked around the empty parking lot and squinted at the glaring sun for a moment then smiled at himself. His lips reflecting on the rearview mirror.

"This will surely make a huge headline," he licked his lips. "Who would ever thought such a legend has such a preference?"

He carefully placed his precious camera back to its case and put his car engine to life. The ID dangling from the rearview mirror said; MEDIA.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes:**  
konnichi wa minna-san!  
thank you for your time and your encouraging reviews. telling me you enjoy it is really a joy in my heart and innards! muahaha.  
so...the next chapter is there! just click next^^ and i can't wait to get back into action.^^

-shuusetsu

to **PLZ- in case you haven't read my post, i am glad to let you know that i am so happy you think of making this story a video. go ahead! let me see it once you're done okay? ganbatte ne!**


	23. Dreams Gone Bad

This is the **2ND PART OF THE 2-CHAPTER UPDATE**. PLEASE TO **AVOID SPOILER WHICH WILL REALLY KILL THE FUN, GO TO CHAPTER 22**! ARIGATOU!

* * *

**0**

**0**

**0**

**0**

**0**

**0**

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

**●●● Dreams Gone Bad ●●●**

**。。。。**

* * *

In his pyjamas, Misaki slumped on the cold marble floors biting down on his lower lip. He roamed his huge, green eyes around the room. It was only him inside it. The huge, white bed was before him, the blanket unkept. His pulse thumping inside his temples.

"Usagi-san?" the teen called out into the dim room.

An empty silence answered back to his soft voice. Taking a deep breath, Misaki stood with his jelly legs and walked towards the huge window, its curtains pulled to its side revealing the dark sky and the faint glimmer of stars in it. The sun was still hiding, only streak of faint orange could be seen.

Misaki remembered sleeping soundly beside Usami last night. He didn't know why he woke up so early in the morning but when he opened his eyes, he was alone in the room. A small, intricately designed black, envelope was there on the bed in place of his Usagi-san.

_This is too much...this is too much.._.Misaki told himself. _This kind of happiness is scary._

Misaki rested his head against the glass windows, his other hand resting on it, the other one holding the black envelope with silver linings. The front of the envelope had a single silver music note that served as the seal. His fingers were shaking as he grip the precious envelope. It was the best gift he could ever have second to being able to be with his Usagi-san.

_I am not the greatest person in the world..._Misaki whispered, his lashes shining from the tears gathering on them as he bowed his head in a prayer._ I'll work my best to make you proud Usagi-san...thank you...for choosing me..._

A single tear fell on the marble floors. Silence, excitement and tranquility filling up Misaki's chest.

* * *

A soft click of a door closing broke Misaki's silence. With a tear streaked face, Misaki turned his head, eyes wet from silently crying tears of joy, lips curled in a grateful smile. Despite the dimness of the room and the world outside, Misaki's smile dazzled Usami. Just seeing those precious lips, curl into a smile for him, was the greatest way to start any day.

Usami walked towards Misaki and hugged the teen from behind, kissing the sweet scent of Misaki's hair.

"Crying already?" Usami asked with a hint of smile in his voice. His arms around Misaki getting tighter.

"Usagi-san..." Misaki raised his head to meet Usami's gaze. "You didn't choose me to be your representative just because we are in this relationship. Right?"

"Of course not," the man answered softly planting a kiss on the teen's forehead. "You have what it takes to be in the Sonate..."

"I'll listen to all your opinions. I'll work hard. I'll be in your care..."

Turning Misaki around to face him, Usami kissed the tears at the corner of Misaki's eyes. "And make the best song there is..."

"I will..."

The soft kisses the taller man was planting on Misaki's forehead slowly went down to the teen's wet cheeks. The kiss was as if drying the tears away, blowing warm breath on them. Misaki just closed his eyes savouring the warmth and the gentle feeling he was being showered.

Then the soft, gentle lips halted just centimeters away from the teen's closed lips. Misaki had to open his eyes to see what was going on. His emerald eyes met the dark lavender eyes. There was no talking. There was no words being uttered. But the gaze was enough for Misaki to know that the man in front of him was crazy about him.

They looked deep into each others eyes as if diving into each others souls. The spike of something sweet and exciting yet scary crossed Misaki's chest when the man moved his lips just a breath away from his trembling ones.

"I love you, Misaki..."

The warm breath caressed Misaki's lips. Strange it was enough to make Misaki cry once more. Misaki wanted to reply, but when he opened his mouth, Usagi-san claimed them right away.

Sweet kiss, warm and light at first. Until Misaki felt a sudden urge of impatience from the man before him and felt that strong muscle entering into his mouth. He didn't fight it this time. He let go. And the moment he did so, he lost his sense of balance and felt like floating when he was swept off the floor.

"Usagi-san?!" Misaki asked with his eyes wide in surprise.

Usami remained standing before the bed, flustered Misaki still on his arms. "Are you scared?"

Misaki's chest felt like about to explode as he maintained his gaze at the lavender eyes. More than being scared, he was so nervous at a loss of what to do.

"If you don't want it, tell me now..." Usami whispered in Misaki's ear with his husky voice, the mere sound was a sin.

Closing his eyes hard, Misaki circled his arms around Usami's neck, the black envelope falling from his hand, landing quietly on the marble floors.

* * *

Tears after tears after tears made their way at the corners of Misaki's eyes. His fingers securely intertwined with the spaces in Usami's fingers that seemed to be made perfectly for him to grasp, Misaki let out a sob.

"Misaki?" Usami asked, worry on his perfect face hidden by the morning shadows.

"Usagi-san...what's happening to me? I..." whatever the teen was trying to say, they were drowned away by his own sobs.

The man who was on top of him, cupped Misaki's face with so much care it just made Misaki cry harder. "Do you hate this?"

Slightly opening his eyes, Misaki shook his head sideways. His lips in silent "no".

"Misaki...tell me how you feel about me please..."

_I feel my heart's about to burst. I feel my skin crying with every contact with you. I feel so full inside I am going crazy..._  
"Love...I love you..."

The teen couldn't count how many times he felt like screaming. Every trace of his beloved man's tongue over his skin was sending volts of electricity in his entire body. He seriously didn't know where they were coming from.

_Is this supposed to feel like this? Is having this done to the body supposed to feel like you're dying?_

Misaki's soft moans filled Usami's ears. Moans that just encouraged him to keep on going. If he didn't care about the teen's welfare, he would have taken Misaki as soon as they landed on the bed. But Misaki was the most precious treasure he had in the world. Treasures deserved to be loved, to be taken care of, to be cherished. It was even crazy to be able to hold this frail body under his lead. The entirety of having the teen under him, sweetly moaning, calling his name, crying to him was a dream he would never replace for anything.

Running his tongue on Misaki's heaving chest, the older man rested his ear over the beating heart. It was the rythm of love taking place.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Misaki had to look down on the silverstrands strangely dark at the moment that was resting on his chest. It felt wet. Not from the trace of the man's tongue. It came and felt like cold droplets on his skin.

"Usa-Akihiko-san..." Misaki dared. "Don't cry."

"Misaki I'd be nothing without you. I seriously would be nothing..."

Light as feathers, Misaki ran his fingers deep into the soft locks of his Usagi-san and sighed. "I'm not going anywhere..."

The feeling of being prepared, his legs spread wide open, and feeling vulnerable was the hardest to explain. The teen knew what was about to take place. However each time he felt the fingers tracing his walls, expanding him, moving within him, he felt like being torn into two. He could only let his screams muffled by burying his face on Usami's bare chest while the man kept on kissing his tears away.

"Misaki, this will really hurt at first. Relax and take deep breaths...I'll be very gentle..."

Gulping the humiliation, the embarrassment, the fear and the anxiety, Misaki wrapped his arms tightly around the older man's sweating neck. _It's because it's Usagi-san, that I can do this._..

A silent scream escaped Misaki's mouth. His eyes wide in all sorts of reasons, new tears falling from them down to his hair line. Usami closed his lips on them and the screams, moans and cries of the teen drowned into his mouth.

Gently, delicately, Usami began moving. The feeling of him leaving his mark in the boy's body was enough to make him on edge. And yet he held on tightly the beast in him and savoured the sweet and painful feeling he was experiencing inside Misaki.

Warm, soft and intoxicating. Exactly like what Misaki was for him.

"Does it hurt?" the man whispered, nibbling on Misaki's earlobe.

Misaki couldn't answer. It was painful. But more than the pain, he couldn't explain the tingling sensation crawling in his every nerve everytime Usagi-san thrusts up and hits something in him. It was like exploding fireworks blinding him, he couldn't get enough of it.

The open window of Usami's room showered them with the early morning rays. Everything was covered in light orange. Their bodies, the bed, the entire room was a color of promise. A connection no one would be able to take away.

At the break of dawn, finally, Usagi-san and Misaki became one in body, heart and soul.

* * *

Dazed, Misaki stared into the monitor sighing. His fingers that was supposed to be typing a document asked by his boss Fuji, were there frozen in the air above the keyboard.

_I can't believe I did that...I really did it...we really did it..._

It was a Monday morning. The day started fine and Usagi-san was acting like normal the entire Sunday they were together.

There was still no getting used to seeing Usami's perfect face first thing in the morning. The entire situation was like a dream.

"Oi...Takahashi-kun...it's not really my business but you're making a quiet funny face there..." Fuji cut in, smiling from his table at Misaki.

Embarrassed, the teen continued on what he was typing and buried in his imaginary chest whatever thoughts of the happenings over the weekend were.

"Oh, Fuji-san, I noticed I haven't seen Ijuuin-san today?" Misaki asked while his attention was still on his computer.

Fuji gathered a bunch of papers and stuck them inside his drawer. "That guy? There's an important meeting for Sonate. And he had to show his mug there. The competition is nearing. It's not even a month left...three weeks left since it's the first week of August now! And that man still doesn't have his representative...Tsk."

The teen smiled to himself. He had the great composer as his mentor. What could he ask for?

Misaki sighed and took a minute for a break. Stretching his fingers from the strain of typing, he roamed his green eyes around the office. It was still as bright and orderly as he first saw it. What caught his attention though was the black and silver poster on the wall, with intricate notes printed on it. He quietly stood, stretched his muscles from sitting so long and walked towards the poster.

**"Sonate Music Competition"** Autumn, Ishikawa Ongakudo

Kanazawa, Ishikawa Prefecture, Japan **_Music in the Shadows Rising_**

"The poster is nicely done, don't you think?" Fuji asked when he noticed Misaki staring at the poster with admiration.

"Yes...it's pretty..."

It indeed was. There was no bold image on the poster. Just a plain glossy black paper, with silver corners. Music notes around the title of the competition and the competition's theme in Script. It was plain classy and pretigious looking fitting for the competition itself.

"Don't you know that it was Usami Akihiko who came up with the competition's theme for this year?"

Heart thumping, Misaki turned his head to look at Fuji. "He made it?" Misaki asked, then turned once more at the poster. _"Music in the Shadows...Rising.._." he whispered.

Misaki new it was bad to get ahead of himself. But somehow it felt like it was pertaining to him.

He couldn't wait to compose his own music and have his mentor, lover and friend Usami Akihiko point things for him for his improvement.

The competition takes place at the end of August every four years at the Ishikawa Ongakudo Concert Hall. A very prestigious place for performances be it traditional or orchestral. A huge even where the known composers introduce their students or a person they think would make a name in the future. Showcasing the piece they composed, the could either sing the piece themselves or look for someone to sing in the competition. For the many successful people in the music scene, the competition was a way to break away from the norm and show their difference and their taste with music.

Although there were the composers choosing their representatives, they only stand as instructor, mentor, a person who gives advice about the whole piece. It was completely up to the person joining the competition what kind of music he'd create.

The outcome would be judged by a set of prominent people from the government, private sector, the music industry and also where the Emperor of Japan makes an audience. Lastly, the composers who have representatives for the Sonate would be giving out their comments to every piece.

Just the fact of joining was an honour in itself. Winning in the competition was synonymous to carving one's name in history.

* * *

Lunch time came and the teen was left alone in Fuji's office. To save money, Misaki would just prepare his own bento and eat it instead of buying out which would be more costly. Happily chewing his grilled fish, Misaki started thinking what his song should be about.

Strangely, though he was excited, he couldn't think of anything.

He turned his head towards the door. He thought it was his boss Fuji. But it was Fuji's boss Ijuuin Kyo.

"Hi there, Takahashi-kun. I knew you'd be here!"

The fish almost fell off from Misaki's chopsticks at the greeting. Gathering his composure, Misaki faced Ijuuin with curious eyes.

"Ijuuin-san why are you here? Fuji-san said today is an important day for the Sonate Committee?" the teen said placing his bento down on his table.

Ijuuin looked down on the colorful food arrangement and grinned at Misaki. "Can I taste this tenpura?"

"Eh sure!" Misaki then extended his bento and the older man took the red-orange tail of the dish.

"Delicious..." the man muttered while softly chewing.

There was a long silence that passed before the man turned to Misaki with a serious expression.

As if the composer was at a lost himself, he smiled and sighed first before leaning over the table, catching Misaki offguard.

"Ijuuin-san?!" Misaki blurted at the surprise of having their faces so close.

"I can tell I shouldn't do this, but I am doomed anyway."

"Huh?"

Moving away, Ijuuin slowly placed a black envelope on Misaki's table. The teen stared at it with complete familiarity. It was the same as the one Usagi-san gave him as his representative for the competition. Although this time, the name at the back of the envelope was BlackMedly and not Usami Akihiko.

Not knowing what to do, Misaki looked alternatingly from the elegant envelope to the man standing before his table. If Misaki wasn't being mistaken, Ijuuin was looking at him with a dejected face. As if the man already know his answer.

"Uhm...Ijuuin-san..."

Suddenly, Ijuuin placed his index finger on top of his own lips, signalling Misaki to keep quiet for a moment.

"I know your answer is no. I just had to give that to you. I want you as my representative."

"But..." Misaki frowned, lost for words.

"Don't worry, I am not forcing you."

"But Ijuuin-san, you have to get your representative soon. I'm sorry but it couldn't be me..." Misaki tried his best to sound polite and understanding.

"Don't feel pressured. I know Usami Akihiko has chosen you. I just want to let you know you're my choice."

Horror was starting to creep on Misaki's face. His appetite completely gone.

"But you can only choose one representative right?"

"I'll withdraw then..."

"Ijuuin-san don't do this! There are a lot of people who wants to join in..."

"Misaki, what's the point of being there when the person representing me is not my choice? Choose me or not, it's fine with me. Keep my envelope for my sake."

The man turned and left Misaki speechless. The teen didn't have any inkling what was running in Ijuuin's head and why he was doing it. It was bothering Misaki so much he didn't finish his lunch.

* * *

Inside the VIP rooms of a hotel that the Sonate Committee had booked, Usami Akihiko was sitting with his legs crossed as he sipped his tea. It was lunch time and as much as he wanted to take it with his Misaki, he was stuck in the convention as he was preparing some things he had to say for the meeting.

Alone in his suite, Usami smiled to himself thinking he'd get dinner prepared by Misaki once he gets home. So even though he was a major lazy composer the Sonate Committee was always worrying about, the man was surprisingly on fire to work.

He couldn't wait to show the entire world how awesome his first love and present was.

His phone on the long table, he threw his glance on it when it vibrated.

"Yes?"

It was a call from his right-hand man, Orihara-san. The composer frowned and placed the cup of tea he was holding down the table.

Phone in hand, the man pulled the laptop closer to him and typed whatever the old man was instructing.

What popped out of the screen left the man uttering only one name with concern.

"Misaki..."

* * *

_"Who's this male legendary composer that is apparently dating a male teenager? Is this the reason why he is hiding his face in public?"_

The blind item of the day of the site said. On the lower side of the screen was a blurred photo of what looked like a hospital room. Two figures still visible despite the censor applied on the faces. And they were obviously kissing.

* * *

In the Sonate Music Competition, there was one strict rule being followed. The composer and his representative shouldn't be in any unsightly event, scandal or behavior. Or they would lose their rights in the competition being viewed by the elderly who founded the event as sacred.

* * *

**Chapter End Notes: **

Thank you for reading and I am so happy i pulled two chapterS tonight! please tell me what you think about it and THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!ヽ(＾▽＾)人(＾▽＾)人(＾▽＾)ﾉ

**FYI: **

**Ishikawa Ongakudo-** is a very beautiful place. the entire place looks so dreamy. really fitting for this event!

**tenpura**-you may be familiar with this as being called as "Tempura" but in typing this in Hiragana and Kanji it is spelled as that.

-SHUUSETSU~~~

PS. i just made up this whole competition thing and the Emperor visiting such an event would be wonderful.^^ (all respect to the His Highness)


	24. I'll Let it Fall

tO the guests and readers...thank you very much for all your time and words!.^^

* * *

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

**●●●●●● I'll Let it Fall ●●●●●●**

**。。。。。。。。。。。。**

* * *

"How is it?" Misaki asked with wide, expectant eyes at the other side of the small table.

Usami looked at the teen long and deep while chewing the yellow, soft and sweet omelette. Misaki regret doing so. It seemed like he was a wife asking her husband if the food was good or not.

"It's really tasty," the silver haired man answered with a smile.

It was eight in the evening. Usami Akihiko just came home from the meeting concerning Sonate and even Misaki could tell that somehow, the older man was looking tired.

_I guess Usagi-san would be busier now that the competition is just around the corner._ Misaki thought while chewing his own food.

Though something was bothering Misaki deep inside, he ignored it and enjoyed the dinner he had prepared for the two of them. Living together like this, eating together and just being around each other felt so satisfying that the teen had regretted at some point why he didn't agree right away. Still, doing that, he got to appreciate more how living with his loved one could be this fulfilling.

"Ah, Usagi-san!" Misaki started, placing his bowl of rice down the table. "I wonder if you can show me around your music room?"

"Huh?" the older man seemed out of it that Misaki was caught off-guard himself.

"I mean, the music room Usagi-san. I am just wondering when we could start? I mean, I know you're busy...just the ropes on how you come up with ideas for the songs is what...I'm trying..."

Misaki trailed off without finishing what he was saying. Somehow, his Usagi-san was looking at him with eyes Misaki couldn't explain. Sadness? Pain?

"Usagi-san, did something happen?"

There was a flicker of uncertainty in those lavender hues. Misaki was so sure of it.

Usami placed his chopsticks down and took a sip of his tea. And as if no awkward silence had floated around them, Usami once again smiled his usual confident, and dazzling smile at Misaki.

"Of course. After this, I'll show you around the music room. I see you're very excited for the Sonate. I am glad," the older man said with a smile then continued eating.

The teen knitted his brows as he looked down on his own food. _Usagi-san brushed off my question._ Misaki stole another glance at the strangely quiet Usagi-san. _Something must have really happened. Why won't he tell me?_

The whole time they were eating was a silence Misaki almost couldn't stand. Usually, his Usagi-san would ask him how his day was. Or if Ijuuin Kyo did something past the territory of being a boss to his employee. The delicious food set before him tasted all of a sudden bland. Misaki felt a little bad if the man was thinking Misaki wasn't mature enough yet to share the  
concerns of the real world. Somehow Misaki wished Usagi-san would tell him what was bothering him. After all, they were already 'partners', 'lovers', though he couldn't yet admit that openly. The thought of it just added to the heavy feeling building up in his chest.

* * *

"Uwah~!" Misaki exclaimed as he whirled around the room. "This is amazing Usagi-san!"

With twinkling eyes, Misaki ran around the room. His green eyes traced the collection of old plaques on metal shelves that were lined against the padded walls of the room. The teen ran his fingers on the keys of the old grand piano in the middle of the spacious room creating a mix of indistinc notes around .

Usami just watched the teen hop and dance around his music room by the door with a contented smile. Seeing his Misaki so excited by just the mere sight of everything connected to music made Usami more proud about having the teen with him.

"Usagi-san!" Misaki called, his back facing the composer. "What do you think is better? Should I record the music and have it played in the background or, I will sing and play simultaneously?"

Misaki had asked Usami while his attention was on the grand piano. It was old. Misaki wondered for how long the older man has it. It has scratches on top and some part of it wasn't shiny anymore.

Since everything was padded inside the music room, Misaki hadn't notice the man walk towards him. It was only after Misaki felt hands around his waist and the man's breath against his neck that he realized Usami had approached him.

"Usagi-san?"

"I love you, Misaki."

Frowning, Misaki turned his head at the buried face on his shoulder. "You are really acting strange Usagi-san! Just tell me what is it?"

Like a clingy child, Usami just kept on groping Misaki which made Misaki a little irritated. _He's gone back to perverted mode again!_

The teen's eyes widened in surprise when the older man sort of pushed him forward, forcing him to sit on the stool before the grand piano. Not long after that, the older man sat behind him. Misaki was like a child in between Usami's long legs and broad chest as they both face the old piano.

"Are you that excited about the upcoming Sonate, Misaki?" came the deep voice from behind Misaki's ears.

Misaki couldn't help but press on the white keys mindlessly before answering. "What kind of question is that? Of course I am! It's the first formal event I could present myself as me and not a shadow singer of anybody!"

The teen wanted to say that the real reason he was happy about the whole event was because he'd be entering with his Usagi-san. He was more in fire to work his best. But he chose not to say it or Usagi-san would probably just use it to take advantage of him.

"I see...If you win in the Sonate, new doors will be opened for you for sure. With the talent you have...I am sure you'd be able to win it," the voice continued though it sounded getting softer and softer. "You can make it without me guiding you..."

"What is that Usagi-san?" Misaki turned to look at the man behind him. "I didn't get that."

"I said you smell good."

Despite not wanting it, Misaki's blood rushed to both his cheeks and ears he was so embarrassed at how fast he could turn red with little compliments from the man behind him.

"Ba-baka...don't talk like I am a girl or something!"

A soft chuckle tickled Misaki's ear and saw Usagi-san's hands reaching for the piano keys. "Misaki, rest your fingers on mine."

"Eh?" Misaki was dumbfounded.

"Just rest your hands on mine."

Hesitantly, Misaki rested his hands on the older man's bigger ones on the keys. When the older man started moving his fingers on it, Misaki felt like he was the one playing as he felt himself being carried by the fingers calmly pressing on the whites and blacks.

"Misaki...when you compose, don't think about what the people will think about it. Focus on what you want to say. I think singing and playing simultaneously fits you better...and so...when it's your turn to play, remember the dreams you carry are in your hands."

"Why so serious Usagi-san?"

"I was able to reach where I am right now because of this."

"Because of this?" Misaki repeated as he watched his hands on top of Usami's playing an unfamiliar tune. His fingers moving at the same movements the longer fingers made.

"You were my dream. And I know you'll get yours too."

Misaki fell silent. For some reason, the way the older man was talking was causing an indescribable pain inside Misaki's chest. Misaki felt like his Usagi-san was bidding farewell.

* * *

Twirling his fingers into his fine hair, he continued sliding his index finger on the sensing pad of his laptop. One of his brow raised at the highest it could go and then clicked on a headline that caught his eyes.

He wasn't into gossips, however it was getting to be the most searched subject and trending topic in Twitter and Pixiv it was annoying. His getting someone pregnant was already buried into history. Truthfully, in show business, one day you're in, one day you're out.

"What the hell is this..." Io muttered with disgust. "No matter how I look at it, this is Akihiko-san!"

His green orbs widened at the next photos he saw. The other day, they weren't there. And then like mushrooms, more censored photos of males kissing could be seen. Io didn't have to guess who was the shrimpy one in the picture.

"Takahashi Misaki you rascal..."

The teen turned his gaze at the evening sky of New York and sighed. It hasn't been long since he went back to the US and he really missed Japan. He missed being in the lime light. He missed being the center of attention. He missed everything.  
With a smile, Io shut his laptop and went to his dresser.

"Time to go home..."

* * *

Wearing a clip to secure his hair from falling before his face, Misaki narowed his eyes at the long list of data he had to type for the day. The weather was getting chilly, the trees outside was turning into feary reds and golds it looked like Christmas in Misaki's eyes. Nevertheless, it only reminded Misaki more that the competition was almost more than two weeks away. Two weeks away and he hadn't written a single line yet.

_I am so excited for the competition. I even sound way arrogant at times...but I don't know what to write.._.Misaki thought to himself while sighing a deep one. _What should I do?_

Misaki raised his eyes from the screen when he heard a soft tapping on his table. It was Ijuuin Kyo smiling down on him.

"Yoh. Why the long face? You just had lunch right?" the man who had his darkrimmed glasses raised on his head muttered.

"Ah...I nothing, Ijuuin-san..." Misaki smiled awkwardly.

Despite Ijuuin acting like normal, Misaki couldn't do it since he just deliberately declined Ijuuin's offer. He didn't even tell Usagi-san about having Ijuuin's black envelope because he knew the man would just get mad and irritated.

"Say, Takahashi-kun, why are you still here?"

"Ha?"

"If you will be joining Sonate, shouldn't you be focusing now on it? You can just ask Fuji for a leave anyway."

Biting down his bottom lip, Misaki seeked refuge to the sounds the keyboard made as he continued typing.

"Takahashi...you are dating Usami Akihiko, aren't you?"

As if ice water had been poured over Misaki, the teen lost all his color and gaped at Ijuuin who was still smiling like he was just talking about the most normal thing in the world. His fingers had gone frozen. And for a moment, Misaki thought he had stopped breathing. He wanted to ask how Ijuuin knew about it, but his tongue had moved back inside his throat he couldn't utter a single word.

_Where's Fuji-san? I wish Fuji-san return soon.._.Misaki prayed inside his head.

Ijuuin stared back at the disturbed green eyes. He inserted his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and eyed the teen with meaningful eyes.

"I'll wait for you."

Finally snapping back to reality, Misaki threw a nervous smile at the dark haired man watching him intently. Misaki felt so conscious as if he was being stripped.

"Wh-what are you talking about Ijuuin-san? Saying you'll wait...that's weird..."

Ijuuin just smiled wider. "It's because I like Takahashi-kun that I'll wait."

The teen was left speechless as he watched the back of Ijuuin Kyo leave Fuji's office. It made Misaki decide to get the leave that afternoon.

* * *

Misaki watched his reflection against the huge windows of the music room. The sky was velvet black. The stars didn't have the usual glow in them. Or it was just Misaki who failed to appreciate it. Through the glass, his green eyes looked so not his. Eyebags, worry and anxiety was all there is.

"This is the third night," Misaki whispered to himself, clutching the hem of his green shirt. "The third night Usagi-san didn't come home. What could be the problem?"

The teen stepped back and left the huge windows that didn't offer any comfort to the depressing feeling inside him. He decided to take a leave from work to be able to focus on his piece for the competition three days ago. However, his Usagi-san suddenly stopped going home. When he calls, it was just a short greeting and he'd hang up right away.

He couldn't even stop himself from worrying that perhaps, the man suddenly got tired of him. He couldn't help it. After what he saw that afternoon, his worry just got bigger.

Misaki was walking around the park where Ijuuin had brought him before. The trees were in the color of yellows and reds. The leaves crunching under his shoes. It was afternoon and a lot of people were there appreciating the beauty of the changing seasons. If Usami Akihiko wasn't acting so strange lately, Misaki would have been delighted to watch the trees as if on  
fire.

"I really should have insisted on what's bothering him when I had the chance...he wouldn't even contact me now..." he muttered as he roamed his eyes around, zipping his jacket up to his neck. _"Damn it, here I am so worried about him...what's his problem?!"_

After a couple of minutes of walking, Misaki's mind turned back to the competition. It was his dream to be able to compete in it. If he wins, he'd be able to prove to everybody, to himself and to his Usagi-san that he'd be capable on carrying himself and someday be his equal. But the way things were at that moment, Misaki started to doubt.

_I don't know where to start. It feels like I'm out of inspiration or something..._

The teen decided to take a rest. Walking towards the bench near the lake where red leaves had been floating, Misaki pulled his hood on his head and sat.

Everybody who was in love might have experienced this at some point in their lives. Even in the sea of people, there would be a force that would urge a person to look back or to his side. And despite the similar images, the eyes could tell even from a distance that it was their other half standing there. Just like what Misaki was feeling as he stared at the back of his Usagi-san five benches from where he was sitting.

"Usagi-san..." Misaki uttered under his breath, his body standing on its own. Two days of not seeing the man made Misaki more sensitive to the man's presence. As if he was thirsty for the man's gaze, he took huge strides towards the silver haired man, wearing a black coat.

_Usagi-san doesn't like crowded places...why is he here? What's he doing here?_ his brain bombarded one thing after another in a flash as he felt himself dash towards Usami.

For a moment, Misaki thought he lost his footing. Or the feeling of falling down from some secure place enveloped him. His brain that was worried about everything had suddenly shut down at the same time he stopped on his tracks.

Usagi-san was just an arm's reach from behind, and yet...

"Hmft. I see...If you only went out with me..."

Misaki stared from the silver head to the hooded head beside his Usagi-san.

"...I can just admit to the whole world I'm gay and everyone will shut up..."

"..." Misaki was lost for words.

"You two are different," the familiar deep voice of Usami replied.

Misaki wanted to call out. Misaki wanted to pull his Usagi-san away from the hooded head. Misaki wanted to shout. He wanted to be mad. He wanted to scream. And yet he didn't. He couldn't.

_"...I can just admit to the whole world I'm gay..._" it vibrated into Misaki's ears it wouldn't stop. _"What are they talking about?"_

The teen knew the man wasn't doing anything bad. Was seating on a bench together with someone he didn't know can be considered cheating? Definitely not. Misaki had placed all his trust, his everything to Usami that just trying to think the latter could do something like that was being rejected by his brain.

Silently, as if Misaki never existed there, he walked away, phone in hand. The red leaves was floating in the air, as the breeze blew them off the ground. And yet, even though there was a huge possibility of dirt going inside his eyes, he fixed his hazy eyes to the silver hair from afar.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

Misaki bit down hard on his lower lip. His hand gripping the phone tighter in his hands.

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

There was no sign of Usami Akihiko moving to get his phone.

_The number you have dialled is..._

Pretending that everything was fine, Misaki went home to Usami Akihiko's pent house, head in a blur and heart in a chaos.

* * *

"I can watch you forever like this, Misaki..."

The dark room was only illuminated by the bedside lamp. An orangy hue was being casted on Misaki's face as the teen slept. Usami could tell Misaki was trying to stay awake waiting for him, but it was him who was trying to keep a distance though it was killing him deep inside.

He gently ran his thumb on Misaki's soft cheeks and lovingly gazed at the features of the boy sleeping so soundly on his bed.

"I don't want to take away a great future ahead of you Misaki..." he whispered into the night, moving away from the bed like a shadow that moves without being noticed.

* * *

"Usagi-san?" Misaki stirred in his sleep. He thought he was just dreaming. And yet the scent of his Usagi-san wafted around him that when he opened his eyes, he saw Usami Akihiko's back about to open the door and leave him.

"Wait! Where are you going?" jumping out of the bed, the blanket around him fell on the floor silently.

He half ran half skidded the short distance between them and grabbed the taller man by the arm.

"Usagi-san...what's wrong? It's been a while since you came home, why are you leaving again?"

Usami Akihiko turned his head and looked down at the green eyed boy with his hair all over the place. His eyes questioning. His grip on his arm was asking for assurance.

"I'm quiet busy Misaki. I need to do some work."

The teen stole a glance at the bedside clock. 3:18 in the morning.

Smiling awkwardly, Misaki held on to the arm even tighter. "Work? Usagi-san you should rest too. Look what time it is-"

"Misaki," Usami Akihiko slowly moved his arm away from Misaki's grasp. "I am in the middle of an important work. Don't bother me."

As if Misaki was slapped on the face once again, his grip on the strong arms that once held him very gently weakened. His gaze dropped to the floor while listening to the clicking sound the soles of Usami's shoes made as the man descended the steps.

_What's that? 'Don't bother me'?_ Misaki repeated. _He was the one who wanted me to live with him...naturally I will worry if he's acting strange..._

With all the uncertainty with the sudden change in Usami's behavior, Misaki decided to come follow the older man down to the huge living room.

"What is wrong Usagi-san? Why don't you just tell me? You've been really strange!" Misaki shouted as he followed the man around the living room as if Usami was searching for an invisible thing.

There was no change in the man's stone-like expression and instead Usami looked at Misaki with a serious face. "Can you be understanding this time? I'm tired and I need to do something. Stop being a child."

Misaki's ears started ringing in irritation.

"A child? Usagi-san I am just worried you don't come home, you won't answer my calls...naturally I will worry about you! Why...are you so suddenly cold now?"

Sure Misaki felt a little irritated at how much Usami could be clingy. But Misaki wanted that compared to this cold man he could not even recognize.

Misaki gripped the sofa that was separating them. He was really about to cry from the frustration of trying to undertand a man who didn't want to be understood. But he swallowed them. He'd act like an adult and face Usagi-san's concern whatever it was.

Only, Usami's concern was him and the man wasn't planning on telling him.

The two looked at each other's face for a long while it felt like eternity.

"Usagi-san...you wanted me to live with you...how could I not worry when I see something's wrong?"

Massaging his temples, Usami then loosened his tie and sighed. "Misaki...why don't you come back to your apartment then?"

"..."

Misaki stared at the man before him. His face was blank. It was either Misaki hadn't heard it properly or he was refusing to believe it.

"Wh-what?" Misaki stammered. "You were so into me living together with you...and then you're kicking me out?"

"I am not kicking you out. We just need some space."

Barefooted, Misaki slowly walked to where Usami was standing. His mind and body was completely awake. He couldn't remember when he felt so much awake that he could even feel each of his breathing so hard and painful in his throat.

"Usagi-san...are you still mad about me working for Ijuuin-san?" the teen asked cautiously.

The boy felt so small being looked down upon the lavender hues without so much affection. Where was the Usagi-san whispering 'I love you' 'I love you' when there was an opportunity? Who was this man with Usagi-san's face?

"He gave you a black envelope, didn't he?"

Misaki felt that if he wouldn't be able to fix this, he would lose Usagi-san. Just the mere thought of it was...horrifying.

"He did," Misaki honestly answered. "But I refused it...I never thought of even accepting his offer Usagi-san...you don't have to worry about it..."

"You still have it don't you?" the man glared at him. "You're keeping it."

Eyes wide at where the conversation was going, Misaki unconsciously grabbed the hem of Usami's light blue long sleeves.

The strong front Misaki was trying to show was piece by piece falling like lego blocks. "I kept it but there was no other meaning behind that..."

Usami Akihiko just shrugged and grabbed his coat that was thrown on the other smaller sofa in the living room. He put it on with urgency and fluidity like the whole thing he was talking about wasn't really of importance.

"You seem to have become pretty close, why not be his representative instead, Misaki? It's not too late."

It wasn't his eyes that he was using to look at the tall man. It was his heart searching for any ounce of sweetness and care Usami had once showered him. The pain Misaki was feeling was beyond words. It was like he was just toyed with. A plaything good enough for a short while.

_He was so possessive before...why does it feel like he's throwing me now like a trash?_

Fearful and daring at the same time, Misaki's nails dug into his flesh as he made them into fists. The pain in his flesh was distracting him from what he had inside.

"What's this Usagi-san?" he asked quietly. "You're already throwing me away because you have already fucked me is that it?"

Misaki couldn't believe he had said it. Usami stood frozen in the middle of the living room for a while. They were looking at each other's eyes. It was as if both of them were standing on both ends of the world. They were so close and yet it felt so far.

Usami turned his back. He walked swiftly Misaki hadn't notice the man was already by the main door about to exit.

"Leave," Usami muttered without looking at Misaki. "Leave, first thing in the morning."

It was so eerily quiet Misaki thought he could hear Usami's footsteps even from outside the flat. Hear the car screeching as it made its way to wherever he was headed to. Misaki listened for a long while until he could no longer hear anything. Until the only sounds he could hear was his own sobs.

Misaki cried silently alone in the empty and cold space. He cried because it was the most terrible way to end something. He cried thinking if it was really the end. And he cried because he thought the nightmare would break if he shed tears to waken his senses. But it only made everything clearer as he stared at the droplets he could see before his bare feet.

Not knowing for how long Misaki had stood in the living room, Misaki slowly made his way back to the bedroom. Perhaps to start gathering his things or whatever. He really didn't know.

He lost all his strength though as he stared at the once empty trash bin by the door which Misaki hadn't noticed earlier.

The black envelope that was supposed to be in Misaki's bag, the sign that he was Usagi-san's representative was there in the trash bin, with the name "Usami Akihiko" torn into many pieces.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

**thank you thank you thank you**

**i just finished sekaiichi hatsukoi anime for the millionth time. pfft.^^**

**chappy is kinda depressinG..after all the times i did to make them lovey dovey i broke them soon..muahahaha...watch out watch out...(tell me your thoughts please) **

**-SHUUSETSUヽ****(＾▽＾****)人****(＾▽＾****)人****(＾▽＾****)ﾉヽ****(＾▽＾****)人****(＾▽＾****)人****(＾▽＾****)ﾉ **


	25. Blinding Flashes

konnichi wa minna! gomen! i got myself in some stuff sorry for the late update. anyway...hehe..put on your helmets and seat belts.^^ THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND KIND WORDS. I LOVE YOU ALL^^ sorry for this long chapter. it felt so long before i knew it i reached this number of words.^^

* * *

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

**●●●●●● Blinding Flashes ●●●●●●**

**。。。。。。。。**

* * *

"Who's broken hearted?" Hic. Hic. "No one's broken hearted right? It's just...me..."

At the far corner of a bar counter, a man young enough to be mistaken as a high school student was sitting. His cheek kissing the surface of a dark, smooth mahogany. His eyes were swollen. His cheeks puffy. His hair messy. His form pathetic.

Before him were two empty bottles of something he couldn't even pronounce and yet he chugged them down mercilessly. He wanted to feel that drowning sensation he heard from people when they drink. And yet, they only filled his stomach but his chest was as empty as the bottles before him.

"So after sex, I'm not good enough anymore?" Misaki smiled questioningly at the man busy with other customers.

Through Misaki's green eyes, the reddish hues of the bar's lightings could be seen. The smokey atmosphere was seeping into his clothes, hair and into his lungs. Quiet conversations of people in suits, in outrageous clothings, in unknown faces whirled around the teen's head they all looked funny to Misaki.

Sin, lust, desire and money was reeking into every corners of the hole Misaki found himself into.

"I knew it, I shouldn't have listened to you. Is this really your friend?" The man at the counter asked with a frown. His hair up to his shoulders was tied in a low ponytail. The white apron on his waist looked so natural on him as he mixed drinks according to his patrons wishes.

Io glanced at the already piece of drunken mess and smiled sweetly at the guy. "Of course. Though he doesn't look the part, does he?"

Tracing the rim of his glass with his slender fingers sensually, Io watched Misaki with enjoyment as the other teen drowned himself in misery.

"Ne, am I an S?" Io asked, his head propped to one of his hands on the smooth, wooden surface, watching Misaki cry silently at the corner.

"Huh?" the man muttered in disbelief. "Io, what's gotten into you?"

He tucked his hair behind his ear and patted the coughing, choking Misaki on the shoulders. Io and Misaki were just sitting with one tall, stool apart, Io could reach the other teen without any effort.

"I wonder why, looking at this guy crying amuses me," Io muttered, running his hand on Misaki's shaking back.

"You're nuts Io."

"Well, I guess I am a devil in angel's clothing?" Io grinned as he focused his own attention to his drink. Savouring the heat of his drink as it made its way down his throat.

Io and Misaki met by a grave coincidence that afternoon. After his short vacation in New York, Io decided to visit a friend who owns a bar in the midst of the entertainment district in Shibuya. Wearing a levi's denim cap and dark sunglasses to hide his face, Io walked on the busy streets as if he was walking in the catwalk.

At first, Io thought he was just seeing things when he noticed a brunette walk like he was out of his mind. Misaki almost caused a traffic jam when he stopped in the middle of the crowded road and a man riding a bicycle halted to avoid hitting him and instead he crashed against a light post.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Misaki apologized, bowing deeply in embarrassment.

"Mou, if you wanted to die, do it somewhere else!" the man riding the bicycle shouted as he gathered his poor bike.

Smirking at the turn of events, Io poked Misaki by the ribs which almost made Misaki shriek in surprise.

"I-Io?" Misaki exclaimed, his eyes wide, his face pale. His grip on his bag tightening.

Chuckling confidently, Io tugged his sunglasses a little lower to his nose, revealing his own green hues. "You look like you've seen a ghost...stop that."

"I am just surprised to see you..."

"Eh...when I left you looked awful. And when I came back, you look three times more awful." _Though I know perfectly why you're the mess you are right now._..Io thought to himself.

In Io's eyes, Misaki was about to cry any minute. The cursings of the drivers, and the piercing glances of the onlookers must have been taking its toll on Misaki. He eyed Misaki from head to foot. His ex-shadow singer looked like he had been walking aimlessly around with his dirty sneakers and unkept hair.

"Hey, want to drink with me?"  
Pure and innocent Misaki looked at Io like he was invited to commit a crime. It made Io grunt in annoyance.

"Tsk. You look like you could use some alcohol."

"But-"

"Come on. This is the celebration of Io coming back to your life. Aren't you glad?"

Not allowing Misaki to counter or refuse, Io pulled Misaki's sling bag like he was handling a dog leash. The two walked into the maze of establishments and finally reached the bar Io was talking about.

If Io who was a regular and a close friend of the owner wasn't present, Misaki wouldn't be able to drink there, much less set foot inside it. The legal drinking age was 20 and the two clearly looked like they were still minors.

"Aww...this is a friend. He's too innocent...or ignorant I feel sorry for him. Give him the best in the house," Io chirped merrily removing both his cap and sunglasses.

"No...Io...I really don't think I should drink..." Misaki refused, ignoring the spicy words Io was spouting. He was already too used to them to get riled up with it.

Pushing a glass and the first bottle of some foreign drink, Io flashed his smile that sent some onlookers excited. The vixen was back to play in town.

"You'll like it. If you're worrying because you're broke, it's on my tab."

Though Misaki was halfhearted about it, he really did want to forget. Even for just a moment. Forget his Usagi-san leaving him. Forget the him whose luck seemed to be cursed.

The way the droplets of water that ran down the body of the glass full of ice was inviting. Even the soft chime-like sound the ice made when he held the glass was hypnotizing. As if they were calling out to Misaki.

The teen gulped. He just realized how parched he was. How his throat was dying for refreshment. He was so thirsty. Thirsty for many other things and the glass and the bottle seemed so appetizing. And so, with shaking fingers, he poured himself one. Two. Three. Until he could no longer remember the times he had chugged down the contents of his glass.

"Shouldn't you be stopping your friend?" the man asked raising a brow at glassy eyed Misaki staring into space.

"Just let him be. Let him experience how painful a hang over is. If he couldn't handle different kinds of pain, he'll remain as pathetic."

There was a faint laughter from the owner. "Uwah-such a scary friend you are. Did this poor guy steal something from you? Is this some revenge?"

Io eyed Misaki with bored eyes when the latter started coughing from his silent cry. Face hidden by the shadows, he patted Misaki's back gently, and brushed off the owner's question by laughing.

* * *

_"I started to cry...and the whole world start laughing..."_

"Shit," Ijuuin hissed and right away his fingers darted to his FM radio and turned it off. "What a damned song..."

He'd been circling evening Tokyo in his Lexus after hearing a mouthful from his friend and secretary Fuji. Sure Fuji was his secretary but the man was as upset like a mother having her child not join something she wanted. Fuji couldn't understand what on Earth Ijuuin was thinking saying his representative would come if the wind pushes the person he wanted to him.

"What's wrong with me?" Ijuuin muttered into the silence of his car. Stealing a glance at the rearview mirror, Ijuuin sighed. "I'm looking for something I don't know. And when I saw it, couldn't even reach it."

"Damn composing. Damn Sonate. Damn work," Ijuuin paused and couldn't believe it as he hit his steering wheel. "Damn car. Shit."

In the middle of nowhere, Ijuuin's car died on him. The first time it happened to him. Surely his luck was as cursed as somebody else's. With the worst mood he could ever had, with the grimmest face he could pull off, he went out of his car and slammed the door shut with all his might.

The man who was trying to bottle everything inside him behind dazzling smiles blended into the night.

* * *

Io looked around. The smile on his face gone. He was sure Misaki was still glued on that high stool when he left him to answer a call.

But no matter how hard he fixed his eyes at the spot, the farthest corner of the bar counter was screaming empty.

"Oi, where's the drunkard sitting over here?" Io asked the owner with an unusual calm face.

"Huh?" the owner looked at him with a frown. "He followed you right after you left."

"Followed...me?"

"Yes..." the man answered looking a little worried.

Io threw his cap on the counter top in irritation. "That piece of work..."

* * *

"WHERE ON PLANET EARTH ARE YOU?!" Io screamed at the top of his lungs to his phone.

Io's fine brown hair was plastered on his forehead by the sweat from running around the crowded streets. He badly wanted to remove his sunglasses but he couldn't. It would cause more problem if Io, the one who was supposed to be studying in America, rumored to have made a teen star pregnant was suddenly in the middle of the entertainment district of Tokyo looking for a drunkard.

_"Ah...Io...sorry...I feel better now...I decided to go home_," the other line answered.

The voice sounded so calm and sobber Io almost believed it.

_"Ah but I felt like playing hide and seek. I'll hide so no one could see me forever. Hahaha."_

"THE HELL? TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE!"

Whirling around like he was lost, Io kept on searching behind the dark glasses. The night was chilly, the red leaves fluttering, the people, unaware of what was happening.

_"Io. Why are you so suddenly concerned?_" Misaki said breaking the long silence. "_You were always bossing me around. Yanking me every now and then and always shoved to my face you're better. Stop acting like you care for me."_

The words of drunkard Misaki rendered Io speechless and motionless altogether. His lips slowly curled into a meaningful smile. "You fool. If only you could blurt out things without being drunk."

Turning around, Io felt almost falling towards the ground. His sunglasses fell on the pavement, his phone dropping with a thud. Pinching his nose that he felt like smashed, Io glared upwards. He thought he slammed to a wall. But he just slammed to another human being looking senseless.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" he shouted as he was picking up his phone.

The man looked down at the glaring kid before him, snorted and continued walking away.

"Hoi!" Io screamed, forgetting that his disguise wasn't there anymore.

"Ne...ne...doesn't that guy there looks so similar to Io?" a girl whispered.

"Eh...right...right...but shouldn't he be..."

Like bees whose colony was interrupted, they started buzzing and before Io knew it, a lot has already gathered around him. Grunting, cursing everyone under his breath, Io used his hand to hide his face as he tried to get away.

"So much for looking for that bastard..."

With no choice but the retreat, Io ducked under the teenage girls gathering around him. He hailed a taxi and fled into the night.

Ijuuin stopped from his tracks and turned at the swarm of chattering girls for a while. The name they were murmuring sounded familiar. But he was too warped up with his own concerns that the kid slamming into him and the name "Io" instantly disappeared in his mind.

* * *

"That's why I am telling you send a tow service. The car died on me. I don't know why," Ijuuin muttered like he couldn't care less as he went deeper into the public park. The deeper he went, the less people he saw.

_"You sure are a pain. That car, you just got it recently right?"_

Laughing it off, Ijuun brushed his hair off his face and looked at the trees on fire despite the dark night. He never really liked autumn, but the fiery red made him somehow alive for some reason. "I seriously don't know. Maybe it died on me so I can appreciate an autumn view."

_"Being so poetic tonight?_" the other line muttered. Both of them seemed to have calmed down from their previous heated argument about Sonate that they were back to normal once again. _"Maybe you are the one being pushed...no, dragged is more like it... by the wind..."_

Hanging up, the dark haired man sighed. "Then bring me to somewhere interesting if I were really being dragged..."

Sniff.

_"Huh?"_

There was a rustle of paper, and a sound of someone sniffing somewhere around Ijuuin. When he looked around, it was only trees in his vision. A few people walking from afar. And insects dancing around the light of the lamp posts near him.

"I am not being hunted in this kind of place, am I?" he said aloud, joking to himself. There was a sign saying that that part was under renovation and people weren't allowed in that part of the park. Aside from being dark, the excavated holes were still open. They were utterly visible in the morning but at night, they were as if not there at all.

Sniff.

"Hello?" he called, ducking under the wooded railings and feeling the place. It was just stupid not to put more lightings to a place being renovated at night. But other than that, Ijuuin thought nothing was wrong.

He kept on walking, hearing the leaves crunching under his feet. Felt the chilly air blow on his face. Deep within him, there was an excitement building up in him. The feeling of searching for a wild animal was slowly creeping inside his chest.

And then it happened. One moment he was walking on his two feet. The next moment he was slumped on the ground, stomach first.

"Argh, what the hell was that?" the man grunted. He remembered his foot hitting a lump or something, and it caused him to fall on his face on an uneven ground.

"It hurts..."

Ijuuin looked under him, but it was only a blur as the darkness was everywhere. That was the time he realized the moving under him. The uncomfortable voice heaving under his weight. The soft flesh grazing against his clothes.

Moving swiftly away from the squirming body, Ijuuin took out his phone and raised it above the thing he fell onto. When he saw the body on the ground, Misaki's half closed eyes at him, as if pleading, talking and questioning at the same time, he felt his heart beat increase in an alarming manner.

"Takahashi-kun? What on Earth are you doing in this kind of place?!" Ijuuin half shouted, half scolded. Truthfully, Ijuuin didn't know what he should feel. He was annoyed and relieved at the same time.

"Hey...stand up..." Ijuuin started pulling Misaki on his feet. "You reek of alcohol!" he commented trying to straighten up the wobbling teen.

"I know this voice..." Misaki whispered. "Ijuuin-san, right? Sorry...sorry..." he tried bowing. "But why do you appear at times like this?" and Misaki started laughing an unhappy one.

Ijuuin was too tall for Misaki. He couldn't possibly let the boy cling to him for support as they walk. And so, with no other choice, Ijuuin pulled Misaki's both arms over his shoulders and carried him in a back ride.

The act was already enough to gather attention from the people resting in the park. But they brushed it as an older brother taking home his drunkard younger sibling.

"You're choking me you know?" Ijuuin muttered softly. He felt the arms around his neck tighten and at the same time felt something wet against his neck. It was cold, and it dripped from his nape to his polo.

"Let's buy some scotch tape..."

"Ha? What are you gonna use the tape for?" Ijuuin grunted as he steadied the teen on his back.

_Ah...shit...he's totally wasted..._

"I've apologized already..." Misaki muttered in a voice Ijuuin could only hear. "I've said so many times...why are they not enough?"

Silent as the trees watching them leave their sanctuary, Ijuuin listened to Misaki's nonsense with patience and with understanding. Sighing here and there everytime he felt Misaki squeezing his breath out of him or when he could feel the warm breath against his ear. He ignored them all. He seriously wanted to be an adult about this. But Misaki was making it hard for him.

"Why is everything so hard?" Misaki's voice sounded so tired. Sounded like he was near his breaking point.

Raising his hand to get a cab when they finally reached the streets, Ijuuin replied for the first time.

"Isn't life always like that?"

* * *

"I'm really sorry for the trouble, Maki-san..."

"No...it's fine. I am glad to be of help to your friend Ijuuin-sama. His clothes, I'll send them to the cleaners. Please Rest now."

"Thanks."  
Ijuuin watched the old woman leave his complex. Maki-san was the old lady the looked after his house the whole time he was abroad. She went by to bring food, clean and tend to the little garden Ijuui started but eventually neglected.

"Thank god she's there..." Ijuuin sighed as he wiped his hair dry with a towel.

On the way to Ijuuin's house, Misaki started vomiting all over the place. On the car seat, on him self and on him. The smell wasn't really nice, and it made Ijuuin feel sick as well. And after 30 minutes of being stuck in the suffocating cab with the stench the open windows could not take and the muffled sobs of the teen against his leg dripping with Misaki's vomit, they finally reached Ijuuin's home and asked Maki-san to help Misaki clean up.

Ijuuin thought of doing it himself. But to his kind of state of mind, he didn't trust his own self.

The low creak of the door echoed through the hallway when Ijuuin pushed it open. He was expecting a worn out Misaki sleeping on bed but what he saw was completely different.

"Takahashi...you better rest now..."

The older man didn't have to ask what the teen was doing. On the bed was scraps of a very familiar envelope. At first he thought it was his, but the moment he focused on the Script writing on it, it said the name he didn't like.

The envelope was torn into many pieces for reasons he kind of have an idea. And the kid before him was pathetically staring at it like doing so would tape them back together.

"Rest now, you look so unwell," Ijuuin muttered looking at the torn pieces and not at Misaki.

Hic. Hic. Hic.

Misaki began reaching out to the trash with his trembling fingers. The tears he seemed to have never been running out of were visible on the white bedsheet as it landed on it. He was biting down his lower lip as he cried silently, as if he was mourning over the torn envelope.

"-nough,"

More muffled, pathetic sobbing came from Misaki.

"Enough."

"Hurts...hurts very much..." Misaki croaked.

"I said enough!" the shout rang out the entire room. Misaki had to lift his swollen face to the man standing before the bed.  
The bed shook slightly when Ijuuin threw his weight on it. With a heated face, Ijuuin took the torn pieces in swift movements and threw them on the floor.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" wide eyed Misaki questioned in a surprised tone.

The teen started crawling off the bed. The oversized cotton trousers and the shirt almost looked comical on him and yet there was something in it that made Ijuuin snap.

Grabbing both Misaki's wrist, Ijuuin threw Misaki flat on his back on the bed. His hair falling softly on Misaki's forehead, Ijuuin drew a deep breath.

"I told you I like you. I don't fucking care if you're drunk or not but don't show me your tears for somebody else..." the man hissed eyes closed. Even though he did that, his other senses could very well point out the presence of the boy under him.

"I'm sorry."

More anger boiled inside Ijuuin. He didn't want sorry, he didn't want pity, he didn't want apology from someone drunk enough to not even worry where he was or who he was with.

All eyes focused on Misaki's face, Ijuuin moved lower. So low there was only a breath's distance between their mouths.

"If you're sorry...then why don't you try comforting me now? Huh Mi-sa-ki?"

Ten seconds. Twenty seconds. Until a whole minute had passed like that. Misaki staring at Ijuuin. Ijuuin staring at Misaki. Both not blinking.

For some reason, what Ijuuin muttered seemed to have wiped all the drunkenness in Misaki's system. And he looked at the older man's eyes with sharp yet pained eyes.

Finally calming down, Ijuuin finally realized what he had said and his face was painted with astonishment. He couldn't even move away even if he wanted to. There under him was the boy he wanted for himself. Love or whatever it was, he was unsure of it but he wanted Misaki.

Smiling a little awkward, Ijuuin pressed his forehead on Misaki's. "If you don't say anything I'll take that as a yes."

Sober or not, there was one thing Ijuuin hadn't expected to happen. "Ijuuin-san...here..." Misaki hit his chest to make out whatever his point was. "This should be beating like crazy. To the point that you feel so hot it's about to explode."

Grunting in irritation, Ijuuin burried his face on the pillow, beside Misaki's blank face. The scent of his own shampoo in Misaki's hair was just torture. Unlike in his dreams, Misaki was like a stone to him. Unresponsive. Unmoving.

"So? You're saying I don't affect you as much?"

It felt so good having the warmth Misaki had. The low, young voice breathing under him felt so natural. And yet they weren't synchronized at all.

"You don't love me Ijuuin-san. You like me. But you don't love me."

"What are you talking about?"

Ijuuin pressed his lips on Misaki's skin. Just below the teen's ear. He knew if he didn't stop soon enough, if he didn't flee from his guest room, he might commit something as leaving a scar to Misaki. However, Misaki started a mystery he wanted a closure.

Looking through the blurry world of the ceiling as he was left no choice but to do so, Misaki sighed. A sigh as deep as the hole both Misaki and Ijuuin has. Perhaps the reason Misaki was not violently pulling away from the weight above him, was because they were having a mutual understanding of both of them in the territory of hearts that can't reach the ones they want.

"You have never loved anyone...that's why your music is dead to me Ijuuin-san. You're not emotionally attatched."

Breathing in deeply, Ijuuin moved his lips just above Misaki's reddish earlobe. "Why don't you make me...?" a voice almost unaudible questioned.

It sounded...desperate.

Love, Like, attraction, Ijuuin didn't know anymore. He was tired. His rationality was slowly fading away in him. His head was blank. It was just his instincs working. His hands running down the lenght of Misaki's arms. His lips burrying deep into the soft locks. He wasn't thinking anymore.

If there was even an ounce of defiance from Misaki, it wasn't obvious. He felt his body as heavy as lead. His eyes wanting to shut completely, he couldn't even lift a finger.

"Usagi-san..."

It was a begging tone that sent everything around Ijuuin motionless. There he was, about to commit rape, and the drunk teen was still going on about that childish name. Like a child losing, slipping away, Misaki had clutched tightly on his shirt.

Ijuuin leaned over, his arms on both sides of the teen's shoulders. Tears behind closed leads, the red face hiccuping and the hand that was holding on to him. It left Ijuuin feeling like a beast he slowly moved away and slumped right next to Misaki.

"You're a devil Misaki..."

The man threw his towel on his face to hide.

The ticking of the clock grew louder and louder as the night deepened. The sobs earlier was nothing but a soft, rymthmic breathing filling Ijuuin's sense of hearing. He had no will to move one inch on that bed. It was as if he was drunk himself.  
The night was deepening and yet Ijuuin found himself in an insomania.

_You have a call! Shin Shing! A call!_

Misaki's phone kept on ringing. To the point that it sounded so shrilly and Ijuuin couldn't take it anymore.

He left the bed carefully, the towel on his face falling on the floor. With a grim face, he went to the sling bag lying on the chair and picked up the phone. It would have been so good if it was Usami Akihiko. Ijuuin thought. But it was a name his brain was too tired to process. Lazily he pressed the phone against his hear.

_"Hoi? Where are you? Are you still alive?"_

Ijuuin looked at the sleeping boy on the bed, totally unguarded and sighed.

_"Hey, you're not Takahashi, are you? Who are you? Give the phone to him!"_

"Stop screaming into my ear. Damn it."

_"What? Hoi, if you're some perv-"_

"He's a dead fish right now. Okay? So try calling tomorrow."

_"Dead fish? Look mister,"_ the voice on the other line seemed like he was trying to calm himself. _"If you're planning something indecent...well it's not my business anymore..."_

Laughing, Ijuuin brushed his hair backwards. "If we were doing something 'indecent', I wouldn't be answering this call. I should be there panting like an animal. Correct?"

_"What the hell...!"_

"Who are you anyway...?"

_"I don't say my name to some low life. I am too important for you."_

"Ah..that so?"

_"Io...how long are you gonna pace there, my head hurts watching you._.." came the voice in the background.

_"SHUT UP!"_ there was some rustling and indistinc voices. _"Shit."_

Dead tone.

Ijuuin walked towards Misaki and placed the phone beside the teen. He pulled the thick blanket over the sleeping form, turned off the lights and made his exit with his face hidden by his towel.

* * *

"I feel sick..."

These were the first words that came out of Misaki's mouth the moment he regained consciousness. He wanted to open his eyes, but the mere brightness while his eyes were stil closed was pounding hard against his skull.

"Argh..." Misaki rolled on the bed, the blanket wrapped around him like he was some sort of sushi. When he finally thought his eyes had adjusted, he opened them slowly. He sat on the bed carefully as he felt himself toppling back on the bed.

'Where..." the teen gazed around and looked at his phone sadly. "Right..."

He clearly remembered everything that had taken place last night. How one of his current boss snuggled on him. How he was pinned down and some of the unpleasant conversation they had.

Under his drunken state last night, he still knew what was happening. He just believed that Ijuuin-san was a person who wouldn't do something in a rash. A person who wouldn't force someone to go his way. Perhaps that was why though at some point he thought they'd cross the line, he was still confident nothing would happen. Or the alcohol must have made him too trusting. Either way, nothing happened. What was killing him was his brain throbbing inside his skull.

He looked around and found himself alone in a cream colored room. His phone beside him was resting under a piece of paper.  
He squinted his eyes at it.

"There's food on the table. Gone to work.-Ijuuin"

Still wobbly, Misaki tried to fix himself in the bath. His clothes were neatly hanging on some rack.

His face was a nightmare. Puffy and still his cheeks were reddish. But he smelled nice and he felt clean. Frowning at the redness of his eyes and at how the throbbing inside him as if someone was trying to scoop his brains off, Misaki sprayed water on his face.

"I swear...I'm never going to drink alcohol my entire life..."

Feeling about to throw up once more, Misaki looked up and forced himself to change into his clothes.

"I'm such a pain..."

Waking alone in an unfamiliar house felt like waking alone in the hospital. The entire house of Ijuuin was neat, all black and white contrasting each other. But to Misaki, it felt like no one was actually living in it. It was somehow giving off the same air as his Usagi-san's flat before.

"Usagi-san..." he whispered. Remembering everything that he tried to hard to forget by drinking. And in return they were coming back at him much more vividly.

_You have a call! Shin Shing! A call!_

Broken out of his trance, Misaki's green, unsteady eyes darted towards his phone on the bed.

"Io?"

_"TURN ON THE TV."_

"But...I am not in my..."

_"I don't fucking care where you are. There's a limit to being clueless and you are annoying the hell out of me."_

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Misaki stared at his phone for a while. Io usually never called him so it was kind of new. Whirling around, Misaki saw the remote of the flat screen tv hanging by the wall and turned it on.

At first the reporter was talking too fast, Misaki's still hung up brain couldn't fathom a single thing she was going on about. The flashes of cameras and the number of people wearing suits in the background was a lot. It felt like probably a country issue must be taking place.

"But why would Io, call me about this?"

He flipped channel after channel after channel. But all the networks were showing the same scene.

And then it hit him. It was not any government official sitting in the middle of the long table covered in white fabric. It wasn't a member of the cabinet looking straight ahead. It wasn't even a member of the Royal family taking a sip of water every now and then.

It was Usami Akihiko.

"..." Misaki's unsteady eyes have regained its focus and his feet brought him so close to the huge device he was almost kissing it.

"What's this...he never showed his face in public..." the teen muttered in a choking voice. His chest was constricting. He knew something was wrong with this set-up.

_"Good afternoon Japan. This is Hidemi Ana, reporting live from Teito Hotel. For the first time in national television, legendary male composer Usami Akihiko had faced the spot light and has given us the opportunity to look deeper into the scandal he was facing..."_

"Scandal?"

The last thing Misaki remembere before he dashed out of Ijuuin's house was his Usagi-san's clear photos of kissing a blurred face of a teenager. All the pictures, he was blocked out. It was just all Usami Akihiko's face clear in the public view.

* * *

He ran under the sun. The chilly air giving goosebumps all over his body.

Misaki was half mad and was about to cry in the middle of his running. It was only in dramas where the lead character had to run his way towards something. It was only in dramas that there was no sign of taxi or any car around him. It was only in dramas that it seemed like the lead character was running in a devoid place with no one to offer a helping hand.  
He badly needed a lift. He needed a cab to get to his Usagi-san. But like in the dramas, it seemed like all his ways to get faster was taken away from him.

"No..."

Misaki lifted his gaze at the huge electronic billboard as he waited for the train to arrive in a frenzy. All the eyes of the passengers that time were focuse on the board as well.

_"Usami Akihiko-san was involved in a huge scandal that the composer who have always hidden his face in public decided to offer a conference. In any minute, the conference will start. Please stand by..."_

"Oh my god...I saw that too in Pixiv, he was kissing a young man right? I can't believe it...!" A girl dressed in Ganguro style chirped to her equally outrageous dressed friends.

"Oh my god...so true...and did you hear? He's being removed from the Sonate Committee. He was even one of the stars of the event..."

"Eh really? But hey...you have to admit guys, he's hot..."

"What's the use? He's gay. Maybe a phedophile?"

"Shut up! You don't know him, don't judge him!" Misaki had blurted out of irritation.

The girls looked at him with disgusted faces. "What do you care?"

"Ah...maybe he's also gay and he's just feeling for the fall of that composer?"

The tanned girls giggled all the time they waited for the train.

_This can't be happening...I didn't know there were pictures of us...circulating around..._

Hugging his bag for support, Misaki wanted to cry right there and then. But he stopped himself with al his might. He couldn't cry just yet. There were so many things he didn't know. He was confused and still hurt from what happened between the two of them. But he was worried. That was the only thing Misaki could think of.

He was the kind of teenager who didn't care about social sites. He seldom watch news as well. And so the shock of seeing Usami Akihiko's somehow thin face in public television was a shock to Misaki.

_"Why...why...did he have to hide this from me..."_

A static from a radio rang inside the running trains. And then it got clearer and clearer like Misaki wasn't hearing it but seeing it.

_"Usami-san...is it true that the nomination for you as the composer of the year and your seat in Sonate has been taken from you?"_

_-"They're all the truth."_ Misaki felt like vile rise upto his throat.

_"Then what about your representative in Sonate Music Competition? He had to withdraw too if I'm not mistaken if the composer he's representing has been pulled out._"

_-"That's actually not a problem. I haven't been able to point out any representative yet."_

_"Oh...I see...then Usami-san, you know that a scandal can cause you your seat you've been haviing in a long while in Sonate...why did you do it. And asking the obvious, no offense intended. You are a member of the third sex?"_

There was a wave of murmurs inside the train. Misaki wanted to scream and make them stop. But he was also getting weak from what he was hearing, he had no choice but to listen to whatever was already taking place with his head bowed and the sting in his eyes growing harsher.

_-"I admit. I am."_

Misaki stared hard at the black speakers at the corners of the trains.

_"He admitted it...he admitted it..."_

_"Regarding the photos that were posted by an annonymous person in a free wall of an internet tabloid...is it true that you are dating a much younger male than you are? Isn't that considered child abuse?"_ a different female voice asked.

"Child abuse?!" Misaki shrieked inside his throbbing head. He had to grip the handle bar to stop himself from sliding off his seat.

_-"I'm sorry to burst your bubbles, but I am in no relationship at the moment. Been a long while since I've been in one."_

_"Then what are the photos about Usami-san? Are you saying they were just edited?"_

_-"I am not in any relationship at the moment."_ the composer answered firmly.

_"Doesn't the fact the you showing your face for the first time is a sign this is serious and you're protecting somebody?"_

"The doors to the right side will open..."

Misaki ran out the train and couldn't remember the last time he had run so fast as this. He felt like his feet wasn't on the ground anymore. He just wanted to see the man in the middle of the scandal he didn't know.

_He's protecting me...god...he's protecting me and the stupid me thought bad of him!_

Misaki was able to pass the security around the suite where the conference was being held. He was able to since Orihara-san was at the entrance, looking expressionless as he allowed the teen pass him by.

The hallway was deserted. Everyone was inside the suite. It was eerily quiet it was as if Misaki was waiting for the unfolding of some horror film.

His dragged his heavy legs towards the red, wooded door with dragons carved on it. It was as if no matter how many steps he made, the door just kept going farther away from him.

And then it happened. The worst Misaki could even imagine.

The red doors burst open. A confident and composed man emerged from the door. The man was wearing his usual clothes. Bluish long sleeves, a vest, a tie and a black trouser which not all could pull off with such class.

The teen felt that world stopped revolving the orbit.

Their eyes met. Usami's lavender eyes. Misaki's emerald ones met for a couple of seconds. But the older man didn't show any recognition. There was not a change in his poker face.

Behind the composer were the reporters and writers following the composer in a frenzy. They were like bees not wanting to let go of their honey.

"Usami-san! One more question please!"

Flashes of cameras filled the hallway it was blinding. It was making Misaki nauseous.

"Hey...who's this kid over here?" a male reporter shouted.

Suddenly all eyes were on Misaki as if they were drilling a hole on the teen's face.

Heart about to leap out of his throat, Misaki threw a worried glance at Usami Akihiko, then at the round of reporters that gathered around him, cornering him to the wall.

"Hey kid...what are you doing here? This is an exclusive reservation for Usami-san's conference...could you be perhaps his..lo-"

"Mind your words, reporter." Usami's commanding voice filled the cramped hallway. The tension surfacing, the heat of the cameras and the lights suffocating, Misaki felt his own sweat dripping down his neck.

The male reporter raised a brow. "But why is such a..." he eyed Misaki once more. "A plain looking boy be in here?"  
A wave of speculations once more drowned everyone.

"That kid...is a friend of one of my workers. And he's a fan. Don't drag that child into this mess," Usami ordered curtly.  
Not giving up a seemingly huge scoop, the reporter made his way to Misaki. He was young and thirsty for exposure he almost shoved the microphone to Misaki's face.

"Hey kid, we just want to confirm something, could you answer a few questions?"

Misaki's head started throbbing violently from the hang over and from the stress. The cameras were now focused on him. And this was even live.

Usami walked closer to Misaki, anger was etched on his face.

"Don't you know when to give up?!"

"Usami-san...if there's nothing to hide, you shouldn't be so worked up."

That earned a lot of nods of agreement from the rest of the crowd. Usami had maintained a stern look at Misaki despite Misaki almost begging for everyone to stop.

"So...do you know Usami Akihiko personally?"

The question that would change everything was thrown out in the open. It was all in Misaki's hands what would be the outcome.

Misaki stared at the flashing cameras and the expectant faces of the female and male reporters looking at him. Their phones raised in the air to capture everything he had to say. The huge video camera seemed about to eat him whole.

_I don't want to leave Usagi-san in this alone...we're in this together..._

More camera flashed before him. Hurting his eyes.

_If I just admit that everything was consensual, they'd leave Usagi-san alone right?_

Misaki looked at Usami Akihiko, and then at the blur of unrecognizable faces.

_I'd admit I'm gay...like what he did...tell everyone I love him..._

"Excuse me...we're waiting for an answer."

_We only fell in love...what's so wrong about that right? Love is still love..._

His grip in his bag tightened at the same time he felt his throat and chest constricting.

"I...to Usami Akihiko..." Misaki began.

All eyes, all ears all senses was now directed at Misaki. Their glares and thirst for scoop could break and kill.

_Wait...what about Nii-chan? My friends...everyone in the hospital...they'd know about me...so suddenly?"_ Misaki faltered.

"I...I..." Misaki was about to fall on his knees.

_I'm scared to admit it...I'm scared...what do I do? Usagi-san..._

"I...I...I..." Misaki looked at Usagi-san whose face was expressionless.

The world seemed blindingly dark and yet piercing white.

"I...I am just a regular fan," Misaki mumbled with wide eyes. "...sneaking in here..."

_No admit it! Admit it! You're leaving Usagi-san alone in the air! No..._

The faces of the reporters sagged. But Misaki didn't care. His heart in his throat, he darted his gaze to the lavender eyes looking at him.

Their eyes met. It was as if everyone else disappeared in the hallway. Just the two of them staring silently at each other. Misaki wanted to say something. But the faint smile on Usami Akihiko's lips rendered Misaki speechless, motionless and senseless.

That smile spoke volumes to Misaki. Partings, goodbyes, sorry, love.

He watched his Usag-san's back grow smaller as the man walked farther away. Watched the swarm of merciless reporters follow the composer.

It was only after everyone was gone that Misaki slumped on the floor, his mouth in a silent gasp. His tears flowing down to his cheeks to the carpeted floor.

Orihara-san, Usami's right hand man kneeled befor Misaki and tried to calm the boy silently screaming.

"You did the right thing Takahashi-kun. It was what my master wanted..."

Misaki was deaf to everything.

_How did it turn out this way? I wanted to admit it but when it came down to it...I backed out.. I left Usagi-san..._

_I'm sorry...I'm sorry I am so weak..._

* * *

_chapter end notes:_

_THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME! ARGH I FELT LIKE IT'S BEEN A while please TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTs^^ THANK YOU AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR TIMES...AND CHU!_

_-also please just be patient with me...i want to write this in my pace...and i am not the type to rush into cutesy events...^^ anyway i am glad if you're still here. ^^ arigatou minna..._

_-shuusetsu_

* * *

to tyn:

hi thank you for showing much interest!

it was Usagi-san who said it. If you can still remember...Usagi-san mistook Io for being Misaki because of their voices. so when the truth was revealed Misaki being the shadow singer of Io and how sometimes misaki would also remind him about the kid he met ten years ago...thats how he finally got it.^^ im bad at explaining...gomen^^


	26. Rise and Fall

hisashiburi minna! sorry for the delay, something just came at my door knocking muahah...so we're building up towards it...muahaha^^thank you for everything. *bows*

* * *

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

**●●● Rise and Fall ●●●**

。。。。。。。。

* * *

Deep sighing filled the seemingly dark room despite it being only three in the afternoon. The comfortable weather didn't do anything to ease the tension inside Usami Akihiko's music room.

It was the worst point of his career as a composer and as a person.

"Usami, I can't believe you. I really can't believe everything," Hidori muttered under a low voice. And yet, since the silence was prevailing, it sounded so loud.

Usami Akihiko was standing by the huge window. His back facing his two music consultants who rushed from a convention to question the composer.

They never heard of any conference, never heard of his sexual preference. It was only after the shocking conference aired in entire Japan that they heard of such a thing.

The woman who was sitting on the black sofa crossed her legs and sighed as well. She couldn't think of anything to say. She was so shocked she couldn't even think of a way to get out of this mess.

"What are we going to do now Usami? The mere fact you are in this shit already banned you from Sonate! You know how strict it is! On top of that, the award you've been getting almost yearly disappeared in an instant!" Hidori massaged his aching temples. "What's worse, you are being called as a molester, pedophile , dirty...everything!"

Usami remained looking out the windows. Looking at the reds and golds of the trees from far away. His ashtray was overflowing with the remains of his cigarette. His working table was cluttered not with music sheets but bottles of wine.

He had drunk all night. Thinking of the best way to take all attention towards him and not to the other person in the picture. He thought about it real hard. And even though he had drunk so much more than he could remember ever drinking, he surprisingly remained conscious of everything. It even made him more awake.

"Who's the other one in the pictures?" Hidori asked out of the blue. Usami who seemingly wasn't listening turned his head abruptly at the blonde.

"It's not important anymore, is it?"

Hidori stomped towards the table and slammed his fists on it. "Damn it is important! If you two are having an affair, then let that guy admit it is consensual! We can at least clear you being a molester !"

"I told the press I am in no relationship. Just leave it be."

"LEAVE IT BE?! ARE YOU REALLY OUT OF YOUR MIND?!"

The composer knew that the hardest thing to handle was the gossips and rumors. They evolve into nasty things, give crazy interpretations and false accusations.

Gossips in the show business industry, in music industry as well, perhaps in any kind of set up was the vicious enemy of every individual. They make or break a career, life and future. And for Usami, this time it was no doubt breaking him.

"I won't question you anymore about the whole thing of you admitting you're gay Usami. But I am telling you this isn't a matter of you just being a composer but as a person entirely!"

Frustrated at his friend, Hidori grunted wanting to smash everything before him. "Being gay Usami is a thing every one had to accept at some point," the blonde then lowered his voice as if he was consumed of sudden exhaustion. "But being a mollester or a child abuser is a whole different story."

They have considered finding the one who leaked the malicious photos. But the internet community was a huge maze. And even if they found whoever the bastard was, there was no denying that the grave damage has been done.

* * *

After the long silence mixed with frustration and anxiety, the two music consultants left Usami Akihiko alone. They instantly became busy answering the affiliates of the composer. They were threatening closing contracts and ties.

It was a harsh world. The worst was it could only be realized when one was already at the bottom.

Usami turned his head to look around his music room. It looked so lifeless compared to when Misaki was there running around marveling at the things in it. The composer never in his life thought the place where he thought he could ever be most comfortable in, would feel like a prison.

"Misaki..." he whispered as he slowly loosened his tie that was choking him.

He sat on his swivel chair and took the main controller of his sound system. Played the song Misaki sang when he was still Io's shadow singer.

His lavender eyes were focused to nowhere. He just stared into space. The song playing in the background.

He raised his hand and touched his cheek at the middle of the song. He was so surprised at the wetness of it that he froze.

He was never a very emotional man. But at that point, he couldn't anymore stop the pain welling in his chest that his lips started to quiver. He just wanted Misaki to be out of the fangs of the cruel media.

He had no one to tell, he had no one to express it. But it was painful almost beyond endurance when he had to act like he don't know Misaki.

He wouldn't also tell a single soul. Deep inside him, just a little, there was a very small thought, a wish behind his mind and heart that Misaki would somehow stand up to the media. He thought it was stupid to think that way considering it was him who wanted to cut ties. But like what he was expecting, it didn't happen anyway.

He could only muster a faint smile after hearing Misaki.

* * *

_When was the last time I laughed?_

It was mid morning. Misaki's apartment was as dark as a bruise no medicine could take away. His eyes puffy. His body heavy. Out of all the things that happened, realizing how much of a coward he was was the hardest thing to accept.

_When was the last time...when was the last time I saw Usagi-san?_

He pulled his knees to his chest. His bed a mess just exactly how his state of mind was.

_It feels like it's been so painfully long..._

The only source of light in his room was his old laptop he seldom used. The screen was showing Usami Akihiko's face from the conference two days ago. In Misaki's eyes, his Usagi-san had lost weight. And he couldn't even bring himself to look at the photo properly.

He was sorry, he was guilty, he felt useless, he felt hopeless. Where was the cheerful young man that he was?

"I'm sorry...I really did want to confess..." he croaked.

Even if he wanted to cry, there was no more tears left. He had holed himself in his apartment. Avoiding his Nii-chan's calls. Avoiding everyone. He had sunk in a deep hole. And he didn't know how to get out of it.

From inside his room, he could hear someone banging on his door. He could hear a familiar muffled voice shouting his name. He had intended to ignore it, but he knew Arisaka-san would never leave and never stop hitting the door with the front of his shoes.

Still in his pyjamas, Misaki crawled out of the bed and took a snail paced walk towards the door. He really didn't want to meet anyone at the moment.

The sound of latch being released and the knob being turned sounded foreign. The teen had to close his eyes when the light seeped through the small opening when he peeked at the longhaired man.

"Are you trying to make a hermit of yourself?"

Arisaka forced his way in and grunted at the dark apartment. Not caring about what Misaki would say he turned on the lights. Misaki grimaced as it hurt his eyes. The teen just stood by the closed door, eyes on the floor.

The older man threw his bag on the sofa and both his hand on his hips, he turned at Misaki.

"You know there are people worried about you. Specially your brother. Have you become mute you can't even answer your phone?"

"Sorry."

Arisaka stared at Misaki for a long while with his brow raised. He wanted to pull his own hair at the sight of Misaki. It was frustrating. It was irritating to see Misaki fall into depression when he was used to the kid smiling despite the hardships of life.

"Let's talk, shall we?" Arisaka tried to say it calmly as he slumped down on the sofa.

Misaki finally moved out of where he was standing and walked towards the seat across his friend. If Misaki hadn't, Arisaka was about to accept Misaki had turned into a statue.

"That scandal, even if you don't want to talk about it,_ I_ will talk about it."

For the first time since Arisaka arrived, Misaki raised his gaze and looked at the man properly. "I left Usagi-san...betrayed him..."

Like bored at hearing a dramatic radio program, Arisaka sighed and scratched his head. Truthfully, despite Misaki not saying anything and denying it when he asked, he already know what was going on with Usami Akihiko and Misaki. Misaki was so simple to read in the first place.

"And so you plan on hiding here?"

"..." Misaki looked down on his friend's shirt. Somehow, he didn't know if the man was about to cheer him up or mock him. Just looking at the man hurt his eyes. Screaming yellow. So cheerful. He couldn't jive in.

With a raised brow, a mocking smile, Arisaka played with his hair. "Photos of you kissing, don't ask anymore, I know every side of your body. No matter how the retarded crossed out your face, I'd be able to recognize you."

It didn't make Misaki any happier hearing it.

"And suddenly, the great legendary composer calls on a conference admitting he's gay and all that?" he chirped.

The brunette had to bite his bottom lip. Arisaka-san was hurting him the way the man was talking to him. Misaki looked away, towards the door to the kitchen to escape that mocking gaze.

Arisaka crossed his legs in skinny jeans, the smile on his face gone. "Misaki, look at me."

"What?! I know I am already at fault for denying everything just because I am scared! I AM A HUGE COWARD! WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?!"

For a moment, the older man stared in ashtonishment at the heaving teen across him. The sudden out burst from Misaki was a good sign for the man. Misaki might be chest deep into the mud pulling him down, but he knew Misaki unconsciously refuses to let things be.

The teen just had to wake up.

"Ne, Misaki..." Arisaka started in a slow manner. "Don't you think you are missing out the huge picture here?"

Looking hard on the wooden floor while gripping his shirt, Misaki swallowed the sting inside his throat.

"Have you ever thought of the reason why your beloved composer did this? Why don't you try thinking about it instead of wasting your time growing white hair here?"

Misaki knitted his brows. He was too tired. And yet...Arisaka had a point.

Like there was a hole opening under him, Misaki sank into the happy memories that didn't last.

_"I see you're very excited for the Sonate. I am glad,"_

The things they talked about flashed before him like he was watching old flicks. They were hazy, and had a depressing feeling.

_"Are you that excited about the upcoming Sonate, Misaki?"_

_"What kind of question is that? Of course I am! It's the first formal event I could present myself as me and not a shadow singer of anybody!"_

_"I see...If you win in the Sonate, new doors will be opened for you for sure. With the talent you have...I am sure you'd be able to win it,"_

"He...Usagi-san..he..."

_"You can make it without me guiding you..." _the words he didn't hear that time suddenly took form.

With huge eyes, he looked at the man across him. An unexplainable feeling whelmed inside him he wanted to go crazy.

"He wanted me to continue the Sonate?"

"I don't know," Arisaka shrugged. "Maybe? I am not well informed but being in a scandal would right away disqualify any competitor. Isn't that a good explanation for why these things are happening?"

"But..."

"Are you really planning on wasting what he sacrificed for you? Honestly, I thought he was a jerk, But now you are the jerk. Or both of you are jerks."

Arisaka sighed as he stood from his seat and crossed the short distance between him and one knee on the floor, the older man locked gazes with his friend.

"You know Misaki, I know everything that has been happening around you is like a roller coaster. Getting stabbed, getting fired from Zone, you being a shadow singer exposed and everything," he paused and smiled. "I can understand why you're depressed and all...but I really miss the old Misaki I know..."

"The old me?"

"Don't you think it's time for you to own up already?"

It was very rare for the older man to talk like this with Misaki. The seriousness Misaki could see in Arisaka's eyes was something he seldom get to see.

"Did you know, when you got stabbed, that Usami-san did not sleep a wink just to watch over you?"

"He what?" Misaki mumbled. "But I woke up...alone..."

"I thought I really don't like him, but when he...that high status man begged me to say where you were the second time you collapsed, he looked so much lost. And now...he's even ready to get all the shit just so you won't get tainted. Will you allow everything to go to waste?"

At first Misaki thought he had no more tears to shed. But they all landed on his lap as he stared at his friend.

"Where is the Misaki who stuck his tongue out when Riki boar wasn't looking?"

The teen's eyes were blurry but he maintained eye to eye with the older man before him.

"Where is the Misaki who made faces with me when Io's head was about to burst because of over confidence?"

Misaki this time was crying so much harder than he had before. Truthfully, where was he?

"Most of all, where is the Misaki who stood for me when the Zone people used to mock me and call me faggot just because of how I act and dress?" Arisaka grabbed the teen's hands. "I miss that Misaki. The feisty boy who always get back after falling down. You really need that side of you at this moment."

"I...I will..." the teen hiccuped. He was touched and moved by Arisaka that he felt like he was getting his confidence a fine boost. It felt like a heavy boulder was lifted from his chest.

"Maa...you ended up taking the road of no return between the two of us though..." Arisaka scoffed.

Misaki wiped his face with his bare hands while half crying, half laughing. "Arisaka-san..." Misaki whined. "I really don't know if you are cheering me on or you're mocking me!"

The man in screaming yellow shirt stood and winked at Misaki. "Both."

* * *

Almost two weeks before Sonate, and Misaki was huffing his way in the middle of the sea of people in the never ending busy streets of central Tokyo. He had tried calling Usami Akihiko through phone, but it seemed like the man changed all his numbers. He wanted to go the the composer's flat, but even from afar he could see the wandering media cars patrolling.

It was a mess. The composer who didn't like public eyes on him was almost the topic of every showbusiness shows. He had no privacy anymore. What was more irritating was the talk about Usami Akihiko being a pedophile, someone who forces others to his wishes grew even worse.

"I can't do anything for him the way I am right now..." Misaki muttered, tugging his blue scarf securely around his neck. "But I have to get to Sonate no matter what..."

With his green eyes in full determination he gave the posh building one last glance before entering.

_Takahashi-kun, if you don't want to stay forever where you are right now, learn to be a little hard and thick-skinned._

Those were the words Usami Akihiko had once told Misaki. It was what Misaki was holding on to at the moment. He badly needed all the courage, and the thick-skinned business to be able to face Ijuuin Kyo.

* * *

There was a deafening silence. It was beating so hard in Misaki's ears as he waited for the composer's response. But he felt like he'd been sitting on that chair for about twenty minutes and still Ijuuin Kyo hadn't moved an inch.

_I know he's mad at me or maybe not mad...but I did reject him..._

The black envelope was in the middle of the table, Misaki and Ijuuin were both looking at it as if they were waiting for it to speak.

"Takahashi-kun, I know what happened to Usami Akihiko, so you came to me as your second choice?"

"No!" Misaki almost shouted. "You told me, you'll wait for me..." Misaki was feeling goosebumps over his arms. But he had no choice but just to be "thick-skinned" and be honest. "I just thought, it is still open."

Ijuuin stood from his chair and walked around, towards Misaki. He closed his eyes and sighed. Loosening his red tie over his white long sleeves he leaned over Misaki.

"Ijuuin-san?"

"You know...I could always repeat my actions that night when you were drunk. Who knows when I might get possessed and really turn to raping you for real?"

Sinking lower on the soft black leather chair, Misaki looked at Ijuuin straight in the eyes. "I know Ijuuin-san is not that kind of person."

The older man smirked. Moved away and sat on the edge of his cluttered table. His shoulders started shaking until the huge room was filled with his laughter.

_"This feels like really riding along Usami AKihiko's plans._.." Ijuuin muttered to himself. "But it's you."

"Hai?"

"I couldn't say no to you."

The teen held his breath.

Ijuuin brushed his hair towards the side of his face and grabbed the black envelope on his table.

"Fine. You will enter Sonate Music Competition under my name. In return you have to win it. Coz if you don't..."

Beaming, Misaki stood from his seat and almost knocked off Ijuuin from the table.

"If you don't..."

"If I don't...?"

"You'll go out with me."

Misaki's smile froze on his face. What the hell was that kind of condition. He couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it even if it was the last thing he had to do. He only had to win. There would be no problem...but that just made things complicated.

Ijuuin hit Misaki's forehead with the envelope.

"I'm just kidding. I'm not that childish."

The taller man walked towards the exit and turned to Misaki.

"I tell you...I am a strict teacher. What are you waiting for? Lesson begins today."

Still unbelieving, Misaki dragged his legs towards the waiting Ijuuin. He would have been very happy if it was his Usagi-san with him that moment. But he couldn't waste any more time than he already had and was feeling already blessed  
that despite him rejecting Ijuuin, the man welcomed him professionally.

With a new hope welling in the teen's chest, his heavy legs started to become lighter, and he found himself feeling that everything will turn out for the better. The road for him showing the world that he wasn't just anybody was just around the corner. He wouldn't let what Usagi-san did for him go to waste. And for himself and for his brother as well, this time, he'd not allow anyone trample on his dreams.

Watching Misaki with his usual smile back on his face, Ijuuin sighed as he turned to the left leading Misaki to his music room.

Ijuuin said he was just joking. But jokes were practically a half lie and a half truth.

* * *

Meanwhile, just as Misaki found himself a new rope to hold on to, the discussion about Usami Akihiko leaving Japan had started.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

really sorry if i was late. even i thought it has been a while. i am so not used to this. buwahah went to an eye doctor. my eyes are getting bad, staying late didn't help. hahaha...but it's fine now...wearing glasses made me feel like i am a genius...i mean my grade increased...that's the problem...lol...

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND KIND WORDS...AND *CRIES* I WANTED TO DO A DOUBLE UPDATE BUT MANY THINGS ATE UP MY TIME. **THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE.**

* * *

TO THESE PEOPLE:

_**Guest**__ 3/11/13 . chapter 25_  
_This turn of event is really something._  
_And anyway for a moment I think Io falling for Misaki is nice xD_

_- _i laughed at this, since...i was thinking the same thing that time..muahah^^

and to

**Jaiga15**- thank you very much...i am very much flattered^^

**Bystander**- thanks...it did cheer me up! regarding your question...i leave that to your imagination. hahaha


	27. The Official

**thank you for your time and support^^ i am always always grateful^^**

* * *

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

** • ●●●The Official●●● • **

**。。。。**

* * *

It has been three days since Ijuuin Kyo had started giving Misaki pointers in composing. Misaki indeed had a raw talent, but talent wasn't enough if the teen was aiming to win. In Sonate they put a lot of judgement to the construction and structure of a song. In truth, Ijuuin was even thinking if they would make it.

Less than two weeks time preparing was a gamble. He didn't believe in miracles but he hoped one would happen for Misaki. He hoped one would happen for himself.

The two walked side by side in Yoyogi. A park not just for relaxation but also during weekends, when the weather was promising, amateurs and aspiring singers and composers showcase their talents on the area. Ijuuin thought Misaki would get something out of it not just a lesson inside the walls of his studio.

The area was full of young people. There were some performing alone, some were in a group. As a whole, the whole place was filled with music of different genres, conveying different meanings.

Ijuuin stole a glance at the teen beside him who had his mouth half open at the sight of the performers on the streets. The teen looked very much like a child who had gone his first experience on a merry go round. His eyes were so sparkly and excited that even though knowing Misaki was thinking about a certain guy other than him when it comes to the music he was trying to create, he was still proud to be a step in the ladder Misaki had.

"Psst, you'll get insect inside your mouth," Ijuuin called smacking the teen lightly on the shoulder.

Raising his head, his eyes contrasting with the vibrant colors of autumn, Misaki smiled. "I've been living for so long here in Tokyo and yet I haven't had the chance to go in one of these! Where have I loitering around during my days off?" the teen excitedly muttered. _"Ah...I am in Nii-chan's hospital..._" the teen mumbled finally realizing it.

"Takahashi-kun," Ijuuin started, sounding a little more serious than he was earlier. "You told me twice that my music is dead. That I am more into the technicalities. But I want to let you know, that you can't go and I won't let you go on breaking the laws of music without even having a proper understanding of them."

The teen nodded a little awkwardly at the mention of his tactless opinion for the man's music. Misaki did say it. And he wouldn't be taking them back still.

Old structures from afar, modern buildings on the other side, people carrying their own instruments. They seemed to be all new to Misaki like he was in a different world. Grey versus red, gold versus the blue sky above their heads. Misaki took in as much as he can as he observed everybody.

_"This is it. This is really the reality..."_

Ijuuin told him that music just had a very simple meaning. It's just an organized sound. And Ijuuin had clearly told him that he wanted Misaki to create a proper music and not just a mere noise. To Misaki, listening to his Usagi-san's works, they were not just an organized sound. _Usagi-san's music is warm and touching..._

After walking around the whole expance of the Yoyogi park, Ijuuin brought Misaki to a dango stall that also served tea. Facing the lively streets, the small establishment still gave off a tranquil ambiance as the red leaves kept on falling from the surrounding trees of the area.

Every once in a while Misaki would find himself thinking what could be his Usagi-san doing. He had lost every means of contact since the scandal started. It felt like he and him were back to square one. They were really back to standing on both sides of the Earth.

The gossips about Usami Akihiko was in to time dying out. Instead they were like a bonfire getting bigger and hotter as many people started adding their own piece of wood stoking the fire. People sometimes could really be scary. For their entertainment they forget that they were aready hurting other people. It was a fact already accepted by the people in the world Ijuuin and Usami and the likes of them were living. But still it showed a glimpse of how people could forget the meaning of not crossing the line.

"Takahashi," Ijuuin called out seeing that Misaki started flying off to his own world. "Remind me again what the elements of a song are."

"Ha?" Misaki blinked a couple of times, the dangos blocking his throat. "Ah eh..."

Drinking his tea in one gulp to ease his air passage, Misaki rattled his brain. Surprisingly, Misaki found Ijuuin to be asking questions here and there to refresh his memory. It was always nerve racking but Misaki had to admit, it was doing him good.

"Eto...Melody?"

Ijuuin nodded sipping his own beverage. He would sometimes look at Misaki sitting beside him on a wooden bench, or would sometimes look away.

"Harmony...ano...Rythm...Lyrics...and the Form?"

Ijuuin raised a brow at him. "Why are your answers sounding like you're not sure?"

"Sorry..."

Pointing the dango stick to Misaki, Ijuuin grinned. "For punishment, explain them to me."

"Ha?" Misaki blurted. He was feeling like a gradeschool the way Ijuuin was treating him.

"What? Explain them now."

Misaki sighed a deep one as he stared at his 'sensei'. Ijuuin wasn't joking when he said he was a strict teacher.

Eyes towards a certain young man playing his guitar on one of the corners of the streets, Misaki tried to gather what he had in mind.

"Melody, is the series of tunes that mostly get the people to have a last song syndrome. It's the part of the music that even if people don't know the lyrics, they know it by the sound of it..."

Ijuuin raised a brow. "I didn't explain it that way. But that will do."

"When it comes to harmony, it's the combination of tones that helps the melody to stand out. Like a supporter..." Misaki was starting to explain things on his own interpretation, as he already forgot the technical meanings Ijuuin had said. "The beat that shows the song to be lively or sad or happy is the rhythm."

Ijuuin looked like he was not listening anymore. But Misaki continued. It was just that, Misaki was giving off answers that back in Ijuuin's college days, were very similar to what his classmate Usami Akihiko had said. The BlackMedley was amused and irritated at the same time. Misaki was definitely going after Usami Akihiko's style even if he was the one building up the foundation for the teen.

"The part that tells the story is the lyrics. It has...uhm...this has a very huge role in conveying what the composer was trying to say...it tells the story the composer wanted to share and the form is the build up of the song. This has the intro, the verses and the chorus...so they make up the components of a song..."

Ijuuin looked at Misaki a little irritated. Misaki meanwhile was just left wondering if he said something to annoy his current 'sensei'.

* * *

Misaki had practically created a camp in Ijuuin's recording studio. Day and night it was the live room Misaki almost claimed as his spot. Ijuuin wasn't complaining anyway so before the two of them realized anything, Misaki started spending his living hours in the floor of an exclusive business building, Ijuuin owned.

There was a small table for him to use, but for some reason, Misaki felt much better lying on his stomach, with his head propped to one of his hands as he tried to put lyrics after lyrics together to create the journey he wanted to tell.

"What the..." Misaki scowled at the numerous crumpled papers around him. "This...is totally not what I am expecting..."

Misaki sighed and rolled to his back. His eyes fixed at the ceiling, his mind in deep thought. He thought composing would be so much easier. Just think about the lyrics, decide for the instruments to be used. But Misaki, was overwhelmed by all the things he had to learn in such a short span of time somehow it was wearing him out.

"I miss...I miss him..." he was embarrassed to admit it even to himself. There he was in the middle of the night, under his Usagi-san's rival's place seeking for support while he had no idea what was going on with the silver haired man.

Starting to get lazy, Misaki placed his music sheet on his face. Trying to escape once again. But each time he was near falling asleep, Usami Akihiko's faint smile the day he denied to the whole world that he was with the man came flashing back at him.

He would start with teary eyes, pulling himself together with the thought that it wasn't just his fight but for Usami Akihiko as well.

"Usagi-san?" the teen called out to the second verse he just wrote. "What I'm doing right now...will it bring us back together...?"

* * *

He looked around. There was only his studio, the mixing equipments and the consoles present in his view. The young teen was nowhere to be seen.

"Takahashi?" Ijuuin called out, one paper bag in one hand, one black folder with the other.

He was wearing a black suit at the time. Everything on him was sparkling black. From head to foot, it was as if he was never unruffled by anything. But looking around his empty music room where he had surpringly got accustomed to seeing Misaki playing with the buttons, he felt disturbed.

With slow steps, he placed what he was carrying on one of the chairs in the control room and went to the studio room; that room where recordings of actual songs was being done. When he darted his black eyes down to the padded floors from the glass panes, he felt relieved. Misaki was there sleeping on the floor, mouth half-open and probably lightly snoring.

There was not a single sound that was released from opening the door of the studio. It was all drowned by the pads as Ijuuin made his way into the room. He stood mightily while looking down at the unguarded sleeping face.

"Takahashi, it's 9 already. Wake up."

But the teen instead rolled to his side, exposing a glimpse of the creamy skin of the side of his stomach and back.

Three full minutes had passed with Ijuuin not moving from where he was standing. And three minutes had passed but Misaki was showing no signs of waking up.

Face hidden by his dark hair, Ijuuin sighed and bended his knees to get a closer look of the innocent sleeping face laid before him. _Misaki._

"Takahashi," the older man called out once more doubting Misaki would hear him since he knew himself he was calling out in a ridiculously soft voice. Like he was cooing the brunette.

Long fingers started to creep on Misaki's red shirt that was raised at the lowest of his ribs. "Ne...Misaki..." Ijuuin whispered, his fingers holding now the edge of the shirt. "If you don't wake up now..." slowly, Ijuuin pulled the raised shirt down to Misaki's waist, covering the flesh that was sinful to look at.

Surely he knew Misaki wasn't seducing anybody. But wasn't unconscious seducing the hardest thing to resist? But he had complete control on himself. Sure he knew he liked Misaki, but like what he said ages ago, he hated being second.

"Hmmm?" Misaki stirred. His eyes searching. "Ijuuin-san!?" he exclaimed as he frantically sat from where he was lying.

_Finding yourself almost under the guy whom you rejected is seriously awkward! Aho..._

"I'm glad you're awake now...go wash yourself, we'll go somewhere important," Ijuuin smiled at Misaki like there was nothing.

Rubbing his eyes, Misaki yawned a little then started to gather his mess and music sheets scattered around the floor. "Somewhere important?" Misaki asked turning his head a little at the tall man.

Ijuuin was already back to his mighty composure, arms crossed on his chest. "Yup. Take the paper bag over there and wear what's inside."

* * *

_"Why am I in suit now?"_

Misaki didnt had the chance to voice out his question. The moment he finished wearing the suit Ijuuin provided for him, he was hauled by him and Fuji to the car waiting in front the the main entrance of the building. Fuji was busy tapping away on his laptop while the car was being driven by some driver Misaki just had seen for the first time. The air around the car was a little tense. So despite him wanting to talk, somehow, it felt like there was an invisible tape plastered on his lips.

_Where are we going?_ He asked as he observed the tall buildings they passed by.

He was so uncomfortable with the fabric against his skin. It felt like it was suffocating him. And besides, after seeing his reflection through the car windows, he felt down. _"I don't even look good in this...like am I a kid pretending to be an adult..._"

There was no traffic. The car was as if flying through the road, sending the leaves on the asphalt trail behind them. Misaki almost screamed when he felt a hand yank his collar. Before he knew it, he was facing Ijuuin's face so close on his.

"You're already almost an adult," Ijuuin frowned, looking at Misaki's neck. "And yet you still don't know how to put your tie on properly?"

Wanting to ease the distance, Misaki pushed his back towards the car door, trying to tie it on his own. "Ah...that's because I never had to wear this kind of clothing in the first place..." he muttered as his fingers clumsily fixed the tie around his neck.

Misaki didn't want to admit it, though the man didn't have any second meanings to it, somehow it hurt his pride.

"Look," Ijuuin started.

"Eh?"

Misaki was in shock to see Ijuuin pull his own tie away from its neat spot on the man's chest. Waiving the red, silky fabric in the air, he grinned at Misaki. Fuji threw a glance at the two sitting at the back seat of the car and sighed. _That stupid idiot playing again..._

"Sadly, Takahashi-kun, I hate spoon feeding, so watch carefully," Ijuuin then started the first loop as if he was putting it on for the first time that day. "...How a man fixes his tie."

* * *

Gawking at the entrance of Docomo Building, Misaki found himself suddenly in a stupor due to nervousness. Docomo building, the largest clock tower building in Tokyo, home of the Sonate Committee and he couldn't still fathom that such a normal person as him would be entering the building.

As soon as he stepped out of the car, the feeling of being out of place welled in him. He raised his head, and was met by the majestic structure towering in the sky. The famous clock said 11:05.

_"Uwah-Why..._

When he finaly looked down, there was no dying out of the glittery world he was trying to push himself into. There was a lot of people getting out of their own cars. If they weren't wearing expensive suits or dresses, they were in equally expensive Kimonos. The young and the old seemed to be trying to outshine each other. Misaki, who was new to such events felt like a lost child.

"Takahashi," Ijuuin called, pressing his hand on the teen's back signalling for the boy that he had to walk towards the entrace and stop gawking at everyone with an imaginary drool on his mouth.

"Ijuuin-san, what's going on? Why are we here? Why is everyone...so...so..." Misaki could not find the right words. Superficial? Gallant? Everyone was just too dazzling for him for a moment he forgot he was still in Japan.

"Carry yourself well." Ijuuin muttered looking ahead as they walked the stone steps towards the automatic doors. Men in black were scattered around for security, K-9s were dispatched as well.

"Why?" Misaki asked, feeling scared at not knowing what was ahead.

"Today, is the official listing of the competitors for Sonate. You'll face the directors of the events and introduce yourself."

Stopping right on the spot, Misaki's eyes in its widest, he looked like he was thrown into a lion's den. "Wha-what?!"

"Don't worry. Just be yourself."

"Bu-but..." _Be myself?_

Misaki and Ijuuin entered the huge entrance, and was met by photographers taking photos of everyone entering. The blinding light, the classical music, the golden ambiance of the lobby was enough to send Misaki scurrying away. But Ijuuin had his hand firmly on Misaki's back. His own way of assuring Misaki that it was fine.

"Ara, it's nice to see you, Ijuuin-kun..." an old man in a green, silk Yukata greeted extending his right hand to the tall man. His other hand holding a shimmering paper fan.

Polished into being always in such kind of events, Ijuuin gracefully clasped the older man's hand and shook it firmly with a smile that looked to Misaki was obviously fake.

"Good to see you Tanaka-sensei, it's been a while since the university days," Ijuuin greeted.

"That's true," the old man replied, his eyes however was looking at the shorter guy beside his student. "And this young man here?"

Ijuuin gently pulled Misaki's arm and presented the teen to the older man like he was some kind of a gift package. "This is Takahashi Misaki, my representative."

There was no sign of holding back to the older man's face. He looked like he saw a rotten tomato in a basket of grade As. Misaki hadn't seen it but Ijuuin's brow flinched for a moment.

"From what school did he come from Ijuuin?"

_School?_ Misaki thought._ Does that matter? I mean, I am not from any music schools..._

"Unfortunately sensei, this young man did not come from any music institution. He is an independent artist I am supporting."

"Independent?" The old man leered. "Ijuuin, it's been so long since you had a representative, and what you will present is someone...someone..."

Misaki frowned at the man. He didn't want to show disrespect but respect is always due to people who deserve it._ SOMEONE WHAT?!_

"Never mind..." Tanaka-sensei, a famous professor at the elite music school both Ijuuin and Usami came from turned his back. "Ah...then that kid has to compete with my Seri, she's the current top student in her batch. Good luck to you..."

Right after the old man disappeared from their view did Misaki realized that Ijuuin was gripping his arm a little tighter. A firm scowl on Ijuuin's handsome face was etched like he really didn't like the man.

"Ijuuin-san?" Misaki asked looking up.

"Don't mind that man. You will come across a lot of people that will berate you just because you didn't study music from some elite school. Remain confident and show them you're tough," Ijuuin released his grip and looked Misaki straight in the eyes. "Otherwise, they'll eat you alive."

Though Misaki knew the man in front of him was just trying to make him more confident, he couldn't shake the feeling of fright in his chest. Sonate Music Competition in his head was like a fantasy. A place of achieving dreams under the sparkly lights of the concert halls. But now, it was unveiling its real colors. Sonate was a competition for fame and money. The competition in itself was a grave war. And he only had his determination and the want to make his Usagi-san proud as his weapon.

* * *

Standing by the inticately designed walls with his eyes towards the huge brown doors on the 3rd floor of the building, Misaki watched the line of classy people swipe their passes on the beeping red machine by the wall. All of them looked like they came out from the pages of some high profile magazine. Everyone, the men and women with their younger companions that seemed to be their own representatives for the competition, they all looked glamourous.

_How do I act in front of these people?_ Misaki mumbled as he waited for Ijuuin who was talking to a group of old women. They were forcing the younger women to face Ijuuin like it was also a place for introducing prospective bridal candidates for the awesome bachelors present.

_Official Listings: Sonate Competition._..Misaki read the banner outside the hall. Simply written on a white fabric, the Kanji was obviously written by a professional.

Misaki saw a woman, someone familiar to him pass by. The woman was again dressed in a simple cut black dress with a serious face. Her hair falling on her shoulders, her phone on her ear as she walked confidently before him.

"She's the woman with Sora-chan that time..." Misaki gasped, his pulse suddenly raising as he remembered the night in Teito Hotel. _Why is she here?_

The teen threw a sideway glance at Ijuuin whose talk with the women seemed that it would still take time to finish. So sneakily, Misaki followed Agawa Midori, Hidori-san's fiance, one of Usami Akihiko's consultants.

The woman stopped by the elevator and frowned deeply while Misaki kept his head bowed and was pretending he was texting someone while waiting for the lift.

"I know, I don't know how the media learned that Usami-san is here right now. And we were even planning for a quiet exit! Damn it."

_He's here? Usagi-san's here?!_

Misaki almost lost his grip with his phone at hearing that somewhere in this building, his Usagi-san was just around. It was probably not a good idea consideting how things were, but he couldn't stop himself. It has been so long since he saw the reason why he was entering Sonate. He had to see him.

_Even just by a glimpse..._

_Ting._ The elevator opened, revealing more people inside. Casually, Misaki entered after the lady he was following, keeping his head down.

"Hey...did you know, Usami Akihiko is here?"

"Really?"

The music consultant looked more stiff than she was before. Misaki could see the woman's trembling hands on her side.

"Yeah," a tall man wearing a "press" ID at the front of his suit replied excitedly while raising his camera. "That's why we're here."

"Oh, yeah I remembered the Sonate Committee was allowing Usami to submit his formal withdrawal instead of being kicked out. Being kicked out'll look really bad anyway. I forgot it's today."

"What? You're working here and you forget such a juicy information."

The other man with a round, chubby face looked at his friend for a while and nodded. "I am not really interested with the whole scandal thing. Well, even though it turned out this way, Usami Akihiko did contribute a lot to Sonate despite his young age. He deserves a proper treatment."

The taller man laughed. "But still, he showing his face for the first time, saying he was gay was just too funny. If I were him I wouldn't have done it. Look what happened to him. Career spiralling down faster than a bullet!"

_What's with this man! Stop laughing about it! What's so funny!_ Misaki fumed, typing in his phone senseless things.

"Honestly," the chubby man continued. "I don't see why everyone is making a fuss over the composer being gay. I mean, it doesn't have anything to do with his talent as a composer anyway. There are more important issues the media should focus on like suicide rates and economy than trying to ruin a successful life..."

Misaki was doing summersaults in his head. _THANK YOU NII-SAN! YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!_

Looking a little confused, the taller man looked at the chubby man with a strange face. "Hey...are you somehow pertaining to me?"

Grinning, the chubby man waived his hand in the air. "No...it's purely my opinion as a whole."

When they got out of the elevator, Misaki cautiously looked left and right like he was some thief. He had no choice. The door outside the room where the woman entered was barricaded by the media. They were even taking photos of the closed doors.

Walking in slow strides, Misaki hid himself behind a leafy, green plant in a white narrow marble vase and stared at the door.

_Sonate Chairman_ was what the sign on the door was saying. Misaki noticed the media people started fixing their cameras and prepared their recorders. It was obvious that the meeting inside the closed doors already came to an end.

Heart drumming in his chest, Misaki waited in anticipation. He almost cried on the spot when the doors finally opened. It revealed his Usagi-san finally. The lavender eyes expressionless, nevertheless, it was still his one and only Usagi-san.

Despite the huge scandal the man was facing, he was still carrying himself in a manner that can intimidate. Only the reporters around him were already trained in such circumstances.

They immediately gathered around Usami Akihiko. The sound of flashing cameras and the voices of people talking at the same time filled the entire area. Misaki could only hold on to the leaf before him as he gazed at the silver haired man who for some reason was wearing black. It gave him an aura of mourning. It hit Misaki that it might be because this was the final day Usami Akihiko would be a member of Sonate Committee. And despite not knowing much about it, the teen knew that the composer probably did love working with the institution.

"Usami-san, what are your plans now that you are no longer a member of Sonate?" a voice shouted.

Usami Akihiko kept on walking, along side his two music consultants who were looking much more pissed than the man in question.

"What can you say about the 'Composer of the Year Award'? There's a huge rumor going on that it's the BlackMedley who would be the likely recipient now that you're out of the picture."

"Let them do what they want," Usami replied shortly.

_What? Ijuuin-san will...?_

"Usami-san, is it true you're just doing this to protect someone? Why go far to this extent?"

The composer's team didn't talk anymore and they continued inching their way towards the elevator despite the heavy volume of reporters swarming before them.

_I knew it...just a glimpse is not enough..._

_I want to talk to him..._

'Please answer our questions!"

_I want to touch him!_

Call it stupidity, life playing tricks or fate moving its hands but it was all too mysterious to Misaki how from where he was standing, he managed to knock off the flower pot he was hiding from. He was all too absorbed with following the composer with his gaze that before he knew it, his shoe hit the narrow base of the marble vase. It didn't shatter due to the red carpets of the floor, but it still fell with a thud.

Not knowing where to focus his attention; to the knocked off vase, to his aching foot or to the sudden silence that prevailed, Misaki decided its best to fix the plant first.

When he looked up, just the sight of the lavender eyes resting on him was enough to make him weak. He really missed Usagi-san he wanted to run towards the man. If he was in some sort of drama or manga or story, he would never care for anything and would just leap from where he was kneeling.

"Sorry," Misaki mumbled as he tried to pull the vase back on its original position while the rest of the media watched him.

Usami Akihiko's face softened a little. But it was just for a fleeting moment. Not wanting anymore unnecessary attention for the halt, Usami Akihiko started walking away. Away from the Sonate Chairman's Office, away from the media, away from Misaki.

_I can't take this anymore...I can't take this anymore..._

_"USAG~!"_

Hoistening his body to dash after the leaving composer, Misaki felt his entire world shook when he felt his arm being yanked backwards with a force, securing him in place.

He raised his head towards Ijuuin with teary eyes.

The dark haired man gave him a firm, silent "no" with his lips.

Usami Akihiko did want to look back, but the dirty minds of the people following him would definitely interpret it again to their convenience. And so, he maintained his longing eyes ahead, keeping for himself how Misaki looked funny and cute at the same time in a suit.

Pulling the teen away from the hallway, Ijuuin made sure that nobody would be able to see and hear them. Just after closing the fire exit door did Ijuuin let go of Misaki's arm.

"What on Earth are you doing Takahashi? I told you to wait for me and I then will find you here about to dive into the scandal everyone is talking about?"

"I just wanted to see..."

"Listen," Ijuuin cut Misaki off in a hiss. Even the echo in the fire exit stairway cannot be trusted. "Takahashi, if you really want to be talked about, do it. In a ground breaking way that they'd forget everything else."

_But it's been so long since...I really want to touch his face...he lost weight..._

Gulping the sob Misaki didn't want to show Ijuuin, Misaki looked away and wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his dark, blue suit.

The older man sighed. Seemed like everything regarding the boy before him leads him to sighing most of the time. Pity, jealousy, irritation and care whirling all in one.

Ijuuin patted Misaki on the head lightly after seeing Misaki so shaken by just the glimpse of his rival in music but now seemed to be a rival with everything, Usami AKihiko.

"Sorry for being mean earlier. But remember you came to me. And I won't allow you to do unnecessary things. This is for your own good anyway."

"I'm sorry."

_It's Usagi-san, he's so near but I can't even talk to him..._

"Let's go now Takahashi, it's almost time..."

Before once again opening the door of the fire exit, Ijuuin leaned closer to the teen, wiping with his handkerchief the trace of tears on Misaki's face.

"Pull your self together. This is where it is going to officially start..."

* * *

"Kobayashi Taki, Junior student in Tokyo University Music Department. I am representing Hidemi Sayaka-san."

A girl wearing a light orange, glittery Kimono spoke with such grace and a poker face on the stage before the other composers and other competitors in the spacious mini concert hall.

The seats of full silky black coverings, contrasting to the red and brown beams of the hall. The upper box was where the composers have to stay while the lower box was where all the aspiring competitors were while waiting for their turns.

And before the stage was a long white table where various people with a say to the competition were seating, ready to ask the competitors the same questions.

It wasn't even the competition itself, but their setup felt like they were already being boiled in their own sweat.

"Good day, Kobayashi-san...so tell me," a man with a sweet grandfatherly smile started through the microphone before him. "What's you reason for joining Sonate?"

Misaki who had the number 59 on his hands, the second to the last number of competitors, sniffed. He couldn't still get over with the pathetic short time of seeing his Usagi-san that once Ijuuin had left him on the lower box, he started crying once more which the other contestants interpreted as him being just crazy nervous.

"I want to join this competition because I believe this is a stepping stone for me to extend to the world how I convey music to the listeners."

The old man smiled, but his eyes weren't. Hearing flowery answers over and over again was boring. They all sounded so superficial. A practiced speech that didn't feel anything. Maybe they did want to win, but they were all being so irritatingly humble.

There was no clapping in the mini concert hall. It was just the time to get to know the competitors and somehow connect to the people who'd serve as judges with the upcoming event.

A tall man with long hair stepped on the stage. His aura was screaming wealthy as this young man was the son of some huge TV network in Japan.

"Shiba Souji, graduated from Juilliard School of Music, representing Sagao Aiko..."

There was a wave of low whispering that drowned the silence. Sagao Aiko was one of the four pillars of modern composing together with Usami Akihiko, BlackMedley and PianoSonata at that time and seeing the representative from a wealthy family, from an elite school with looks to kill, he was a huge threat for everyone.

"Then Shiba-san, same question."

The young man in a tuxedo bowed first and raised his blue eyes with confidence.

"To break the seriously getting old way how this event is being conducted."

The same old man smiled again. People with over confidence do exist. But this one was just too ahead of himself to be saying 'change the way Sonate is'.

After sinking on his seat for almost about one and a half hour, Misaki was already dying of nervousness. He was still the Misaki afraid of too much exposure. The same Misaki who didn't want to get all attention towards him. It was all a mystery to him why those young people could stand in the middle of the stage, all eyes on them as if it was nothing.

_If I'm like this when I am just introducing myself...what will I be during the competition itself!_

_"...don't think about what the people will think about it..."_

The simple words from his Usagi-san sparked a fire in Misaki. Not too huge but enough to make him going.

"Please go to the stage, number 59."

Feet shaking, Misaki dragged his legs down the steps feeling his phone vibrating. He looked at it and smiled weakly.

"_Be yourself_.-Ijuuin"

He got the best teachers in the world. What could he be afraid of? But when he raised his head, he met the other judges' faces with a frown. Looking at the phone in the middle of Sonate was considered rude. Whatever Ijuuin was trying to do, no one had a clue and poor Misaki didn't know it either.

When he stepped on the stage, Misaki suddenly felt so small. The blinding lights on him was sucking the confidence in him. The place was airconditioned, even the weather outside was a little chilly, and yet he was perspiring so much.

The expectant faces was overbearing, Misaki wanted to ran off the stage. But this was the start of the opportunity he was waiting for. There was no turning back.

"G-good morning..." Misaki gasped. "I mean...good afternoon!"

The other composers on the upper box started murmuring at how clumsy the young boy on the stage was. The ability to carry on your speech properly was the same as how you carry yourself as well. But Ijuuin who was at the back brushed it off like he was expecting it and instead started laughing.

_Pull yourself together! Pull your self together!_

"Takahashi Misaki..."

_Then what? The school...but..._

"I...I did not come from any music schools..."

Misaki watched before his huge green eyes, the changes of the facial expressions of the judges, of the other competitors and even from afar, the restless faces of the other composers.

"Did not?" a woman who looked so strict repeated through the mic. "Who are you representing then?"

Looking at the upper box...Misaki felt a sudden deep sadness inside his chest. This shouldn't be but that was what his situation, he couldn't do anything about it.

"B-BlackMedley." _Usami Akihiko_. It was mean of him but that was the name he declared in his mind and in his soul.

It was as if the entire place got infested with bees at the mention the name of one of the modern composing pillars. A plain looking boy, not from any prestigious school was representing such a huge name. Many were awed but the other elders of the Sonate Committee was taking it to be an insult.

Ijuuin had to go through his own troubles without telling Misaki.

The old man with the grandfatherly sweet smile then turned at Misaki with a serious face. "Your reason?"

"I...I wanted to take part in this because this is not just my dream. It's my friends' dream too and my brother's." _And Usagi-san's..._

Such was an innocent answer that showed how ignorant Misaki was, the other high and mighty composers were grinning to themselves. But they all shut up in the end.

"...And I came here to win," Misaki added nervously.

They were all rendered speechless at the blunt declaration of the teen. Misaki had all the good intention. He was just being honest. But he without him knowing, practically just had declared a war with everybody, not just with his fellow competitors but with the real composers as well.

The old man smiled at Misaki. Misaki, who was the unknowing, innocent young man that he was on the stage, he smiled back.

"Then I'll be watching you closely, Takahashi-san."

"Ha-hai!" Bowing many times before leaving the stage, Misaki was releaved that everything for now was over.

* * *

If only Misaki knew, he might have started crying on the spot; if he knew that Usami Akihiko was watching him with a proud smile from the ajar emergency exit door in the lower box area.

"Good luck..." he murmured, before finally closing the door. "...my Misaki."

* * *

**chapter end notes;**

Thank you for your time as always and your encouraging words! Sonate COmpetition is almost there! GRAHHH!

**Docomo building** is a private building in Shibuya and is not open to the public. but it looks so pretty specially at night i think it fits to be home for the SOnate COmmittee! hehe^^

**Yoyogi Park** a park where lots of things are happening...dances, singing ...it's just busy...

-shuusetsu

hehe...i am not into the idea of Io falling for Misaki..but somehow...they started to look good together in my perverted ..forgive me!^^


	28. Promise in Autumn

believe me or not, i just saw a blooming love story. and that;s what inspired me for this chappy! muahahah..i'm so bad...! thank you for your patience and support!^^ this is probably the chapter i finished in just the shortest time..ehehehe^^

* * *

**。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。**

**※※ Promise in Autumn** **※※**

**。。。。。。。。**

* * *

_"So everything is going fine for you?"_

"Yes...somehow...I feel like everything will be alright. Please don't worry about me, Nii-chan."

_"Who's worrying? I always believed that you can do anything once you've decided,"_ Takahiro's calm voice answered. _"If there is anyone who's being worried like crazy here, it's Arisaka-san..."_

"Eh?" Misaki blinked a couple of times at the sound of crashing and falling on the other line.

_"Who's worried about that crybaby brother of yours Takahiro?!"_ the teen grimaced at the familiar voice other than his brother in the background. _"I couldn't care less if that shrimp is eating properly or not!"_

_"See?_" Takahiro whispered on the phone.

The teen smiled and then looked at the bunch of papers in front of him. He felt bad he was wasting so much paper he wondered how many trees he was killing. "Please tell him not to worry about me. I am doing fine."

There were more falling sounds at the background that Misaki couldn't help but ask his brother what was going on on his side.

_"Ah...give me the phone!_" Misaki heard a shout and a couple of rustlings on the other side. Not long after that, he was talking to the person he could consider his best friend._ "Misaki?"_

"Ha-hai...Arisaka-san...thank you for the last time."

_"What are you saying? Looking at you so depressed is irritating, I'd rather see your goofy smiling face."_

"Ah...I see..."

_"Well, Misaki...just to let you know, the money in your bank will last for about two months. I already did the budgeting..."_

"I see...so I really need money on the side ne?" Misaki answered suddenly worried that he was getting all so occupied with Sonate that he had forgotten the necessities of life.

_"Are you an idiot? I didn't tell you that to make you worried,"_ Arisaka hissed on the phone. _"What I am trying to say is everything is alright here."_

"But..."

_"Focus on the competition,"_ Arisaka uttered calmly. If Misaki wasn't hallucinating, he could also hear a hint of being proud in that voice. _"Don't waste the opportunity given to you. We'll be praying for your success here. Ganbatte ne..."_

For a long time, Misaki couldn't help but stare at the blank screen of his phone. The voice of his brother, the voice of his best friend cheering him on could do so much to him. His heart was racing, his fingers were trembling as he held his mechanical pencil over his music sheet.

The afternoon sun's rays were seeping through the curtains of the window. Looking around, Misaki found himself choking as he looked at the room thinking that everything would be perfect if only...if only the person he really wanted to be with was beside him too.

"I want to see Usagi-san..."

Misaki didn't want it but no matter how hard he swallowed the lump in his throat, the more the hot tears tried to escape his eyes. Looking at Ijuuin's music room almost the same as his Usagi-san's made Misaki feel lonelier. Both men had their own collection of music plaques. Both had a number of speakers and shelves and awards neatly lined up. But it was always the place where his heart belongs Misaki could call home.

"...home?" Misaki blinked at the thought. "Usagi-san..." the teen stared at the music sheet with blotches because of his tears. "Usagi-san is my home."

An emotion hard to explain welled up in Misaki. Excitement? Longing? Sadness? Reaching out? They were all shapeless emotions Misaki was having at the thought of the one man he wanted to reach. Such was the intensity that finally Misaki found his theme. That finally, Misaki found what he wanted to tell in his song. The thing that he failed to say, his music will carry it out for him.

The feelings he was containing in him, they will serve as the words to the melody playing in his head. And hopefully, not just Usagi-san would reach it. But also the entire world who had judged the both of them just because of being out of normalcy.

* * *

He felt even worse than the time he was waiting for his report card to be given to him during middle school. Misaki couldn't almost maintain a straight face as he waited for his "sensei's" reaction at the verses he wrote.

_Why is he poker faced? I wish he show any expression so I could read him.._. Misaki thought to himself while darting his eyes on the shelves with numerous books about music. There were also autobiographies of people Misaki didn't know however he was sure they had contributed in the world of music and composing as well to earn a space in that meticulously arranged place.

There was a sigh. A sigh of approval or disappointment, Misaki didn't know. Ijuuin was sitting on his swivel chair rather idly. His eyeglasses were pushed up on his head that served as a headband and most of his hair were pushed back showing his entire face that was always almost hidden by his dark hair. Sometimes, Misaki would think that Ijuuin would seem to exude less of the dark aura around him if he revealed more of his face.

"Something wrong?" Ijuuin suddenly muttered out of the blue making Misaki almost jump out from where he was sitting.

"Ah, nothing!" the teen answered, trying to look unruffled. But he looked more stupid that way.

"So you're done almost half the lyrics of the song..." the composer started. "I wouldn't comment on the lyrics, but what do you plan on the instruments?"

"Ahm...I can't still decide..." Misaki answered honestly. He was thinking about what Usami Akihiko told him; that it would be better for him to play the piano and sing simultaneously. But he wanted something more dramatic than that.

Ijuuin stood from his seat and smiled at Misaki. "That's where I am going to enter the picture. Come with me, we're going somewhere."

* * *

Antique. That was all Misaki could think of as he stared with wide eyes at the western style house before him. The blue brick roof of the house painted white, now a color of yellowish cream was contrasting with the reds and browns of the trees surrounding the structure. Misaki wasn't sure that such place existed within Tokyo but there he was standing in a neighborhood that seemed from a different world.

Misaki turned his head and found Ijuuin looking at the house with so much affection. That was the time Misaki felt like Ijuuin was really smiling. A smile not forced, not hiding any meaning, but just a pure smile of someone feeling nostalgia or happiness deep within. It didn't help that the cool breeze was dancing around him. The leaves just made Ijuuin look like a man coming home inside a painting.

"Ijuuin-san..." Misaki started as he watched the man approach him.

"What do you think about the place?" Ijuuin asked smiling broadly. The reds of the fluttering trees reflecting in his dark eyes.

"It's like a place from some movie Ijuuin-san," the teen answered looking back at the two-story house that looked like a mansion where Roman princes lived. "Is this where you grew up?"

The taller man tugged his cream scarf around his neck and patted Misaki on the head. "This is not my house, but you could say this is where I literally wanted to live..."

As usual, Misaki found Ijuuin a little mysterious. The man would often look at him and smile out of nowhere. Or sometimes Ijuuin would suddenly exude an aura of calmness, or loneliness. The teen couldn't explain it but he thought, probably Ijuuin was just lonely since people didn't take more time trying to understand him. That was what he realized with the time he was spending with the man. He noticed that like Usami Akihiko, Ijuuin Kyo didn't have a lot of people around to call as friends.

_Why are most successful people...look like they were the loneliest?_ Misaki wondered as he followed the broad back enter the old structure.

Once Ijuuin pushed the door open, a soft chime filled the air. It felt calming and inviting as it slowly died out.

_"Uwah..."_

Feeling that Misaki just stepped into a hundred years back, Misaki stood frozen in the middle of pianos in all sort of sizes, violins hanging by the ceiling and on the walls, violas on the side, huge trumpets and other numerous musical instruments Misaki couldn't even name. What was more intriguing was they all looked worn-out.

The entire place was giving off a calming feeling yet once you have fully immersed yourself inside it and everything within it, a welling sadness started to take over.

"This...is a place where instruments that was thrown by their owners end up," Ijuuin explained behind Misaki.

Misaki grabbed the hem of his purple jacket and looked at Ijuuin. "Thrown?"

A creaking sound of a door with its hinges fighting to work cut through Misaki and Ijuuin's conversation. From a narrow door almost being blocked by a brown-colored grandpiano came an old man. He was wearing round spectacles and a blue apron on his waist and almost Misaki could see the recognition once the man laid eyes on Ijuuin.

"Kyo-kun?!" the man blurted. He was like a grand father who hadn't seen his grand son in a long while.

"Oji-chan, it's been a while..." Ijuuin muttered.

It would have been a dramatic reunion if the old man hadn't hit his foot on one of the legs of the grand piano. He ended up half howling due to pain, crouching and massaging his toes.

"Oji-chan, you're as clumsy as ever," Ijuuin scolded as he helped the old man sit on one of the stools available.

The feeling of warmth, which Misaki rarely see from Ijuuin was surprisingly everywhere. The faint smile as his 'sensei' looked at the old man, how Ijuuin kept on running his huge hand againts the somehow hunched back of the old man, clearly it showed that BlackMedley was also a human. Capable of such emotions. Maybe Misaki should think about saying that Ijuuin's music was dead. The teen might just be drowning with all affection for Usami Akihiko's that he was blind with Ijuuin's craft.

Clasping both Ijuuin's hand, the old man sniffed and some tears were visible behind his thick spectacles. "Kyo-kun, you're the same as always. How many times have I told you these things here aren't 'thrown'. They are just here to be fixed and waiting for that door to reveal their next owners..."

"Ah? Really? And do anyone purchase them at all?" Ijuuin asked sounding skeptical.

The old man hit Ijuuin on the arm lightly. "Ah, this kid, you're as close minded as ever. Have you forgotten what I told you?"

Despite the thick spectacles on his eyes, Misaki didn't fail to see the shimmer in them as the old man wandered his gaze around the forest of old musical instruments. He was looking at them with such love and affection like a father would look at his son.

"A music instrument has its destined owner who'd take care of it and create a lovely tune together with it."

"Just like humans..." Misaki unconsciously muttered as he felt himself being taken by the flow of the conversation and the ambiance.

"Hora, this young man here understands me more than you do you overgrown man!" the old man said pretending mad.

Standing back on his feet like he had already forgotten his swollen toes, the old man was ready to welcome his third set of customers for the day.

"So...what brings you here with this young man?" the old man nodded at Misaki.

"Ah!" Misaki exclaimed a little flustered for forgetting manners. He bowed then and introduced himself. "I'm sorry! I'm Takahashi Misaki, nice to meet you Sir!"

"No need to be so formal, kiddo!" stretching his hands with signs of old age he smiled. "I am Motoharu Jun, the owner and the so called 'doctor' of the instruments that you can see here. Nice to meet you Takahashi-kun!"

Misaki didn't know it but there was something in him, deep inside his chest that was hurting as he roamed around the entire house. The old man told him that he allotted his house for the music instruments who had a problem, or was already too old to be played. Many would come to him to sell their stuff. Sometimes people would go to bring their music intruments with the purpose of having them fixed, but most of them didn't return to take them home.

Running his fingers on the huge harp in one of the rooms upstairs, Misaki almost wanted to cry. It was as if everything in that house was crying for attention. A sad tone filled the room as he plucked the vertical strings of the harp before him. Old but still beautiful. _Why do people get tired of something as time passes by?_

"Takahashi-kun, I brought you here because I want you to get a first hand feel of the instruments you could choose from. I doubt, with the lyrics you presented to me you'd want to use a modern themed music for it, right?" Misaki remembered Ijuuin telling him after the owner had told them they could tour the entire house.

"Besides, I think that the emotions you had while writing your lyrics would be emphasized if you take advantage of an 'orchestral approach'..." Ijuuin added.

There he was, Misaki alone on the second floor as Ijuuin told him Misaki should decide it for himself. Ponder what he really wanted to happen with his song. The entire house was screaming of old age Misaki thought the house must be from the old man's ancestors. The hallway with wooden floors with cracks would give off a creaking sound while walking on it. It could pass as a haunted house, only that the solemn feel was taking over and instead of being afraid, one would get curious.

Like a grandiose hotel, there were some suite-like rooms on the second floor. A room for each kind of instruments that was needing attention. Misaki inserted his hands on his jacket's pockets and continued walking around until he reached an ajar door. He could hear some sounds from the room so he peeked and saw a man probably not much older than him wipe dust from a grand piano.

"Want to come in?"

"Ha?!" Misaki was surprised that the guy inside the room took notice of him right away. But perhaps working in such a quiet place would make all your senses sharper than average.

Shyly, Misaki pushed open the door enough for him to enter and gawked at the what you could say 'bones' of a piano.

"Hi there. I saw the third car park and saw you standing outside just a while ago. Having three customers in a day is rare you know?" the guy muttered happily as he wiped the top of a grand piano he was working on.

"People don't come here often?" Misaki asked, his green eyes at the brownish, majestic piano before him that somehow looked strangely familiar.

The man with dark hair parted in the middle smiled at Misaki and waived the cloth he was holding in the air. "Sometimes no one is coming at all."

Inching closer at the grand piano with eyes fixed at the keys, Misaki gulped. _I really have the feeling that I have seen this piano somewhere..._

The other person in the room full of old pianos on the side noticed Misaki's confused look towards the one he was wiping. He tapped it with his knuckles shortly with a proud smile.

"You know, this was delivered just a while ago. You could see the scratches here?" the boy pointed at the small "x"s on the top corner of the instrument. "It's obviously from a prank of a child from years ago. But the way the tone and timber of the keys and the strings at the back, you could tell right away that it has been taken good care of. Specially the hammers, they don't have a single dust in it."

He couldn't help himself, but Misaki's right hand escaped from where it was resting and reached out to the white keys as if calling him.

"I wonder why the owner decided to leave this to Motoharu-san. I mean, he didn't sell this. He just said take care of it and he'll be happy," the boy continued happily. "Honestly I didn't know there were still people like that that exists. It seemed like he actually didn't want to leave this thing but had no choice. Well, he didn't make the wrong decision leaving it here coz we will take care of it until it meets its new owner."

Staring at it hard, feeling the scratches on top, sensing the familiar texture of the surface and the feel of pressing on the keys, Misaki felt like he was struck with something hard. He couldn't breath. He couldn't move.

"These long scratches..." Misaki mumbled, his index finger painfully tracing the light yellowish scratches against the mahogany color of the piano. "U.A...why is it here...?"

The boy on the other side stared at Misaki with a much more confused look as the green-eyed boy stared back at him with teary-eyes. The tears on Misaki's eyes won't stop it landed silently on the old floors.

"Hey...why are you crying?"

"Why is Usagi-san's grand piano in here? He loved this..."

"Ha? Usagi-san? Well, wait first...don't cry. It's not like I am bullying you!"

"You said it just arrived here right?!" Misaki exclaimed. The teen had leaned closer to the piano, trying to close the gap between him and the boy polishing the instrument. The one that used to occupy the middle of spacious music room of Usami AKihiko.

"Ah yes..." the boy answered scratching the back of his head. "Uhm... I really don't know what's going on but the owner of this piano hasn't left yet."

"Huh?!"

"I can see the parking lot from here...look," the boy pointed his thumb at the curtainless window and saw three cars. A black car which was Ijuuin's, a white car Misaki couldn't recognize and at the farthest side, a red sports car he failed to notice before. "See, the foreign car there? That belongs to the owner of this baby. The truck that carried this already went away but I don't know why that car is still there."

Without a word, Misaki dashed out of the room, living the other boy alone with his mouth half-open.

* * *

Ijuuin was standing by the window from one of the rooms upstairs. The room where the owner used for personal use. A cup of coffee in hand, Ijuuin watched Misaki almost fall on his knees as he ran and looked around like searching for a lost road from where he was standing.

The room was small, but it felt relaxing. Red carpet accentuated the old colored walls and the huge sofas the old man got from a thrift shop completed the Venetian feel. On the far side of the room were picture frames of faces that was almost erased due to time. And at the other side of the window was the owner Motoharu-san watching Misaki as well.

"That kid, you won't stop him?" the old man asked as he stared at the red-orange scene outside his castle. The day was nearing its end and the red leaves of the huge trees around the area just added to the fiery color of the sunset.

"It's not like we came here knowing that that guy is also here. So he's planning on leaving?" Ijuuin asked quietly until he could no longer see Misaki as the teen disappeared behind the trees.

"I don't know why the two of you who used to pester me a lot years ago would still be not talking with each other. It's saddening for an old guy like me."

"That's just how it is Oji-chan."

Motoharu-san rested his back against the wall and removed his spectacles to wipe them with his apron. "The scandal is just really terrible I think leaving is best for now. We hardly watch TV due to the many things we have to do here, but it still reached us...terrible."

A deafening silence except the occasional piano keys being hit lightly from a distant room prevailed.

"Kyo-kun, the way you look at that boy..."

"He rejected me Oji-chan..."

The old man sighed and pushed his glasses back on his face. With an understanding look, he smiled at Ijuuin.

"I am in no position to judge you. I've known you ever since, saw how your family almost lost their mind when you came out saying you never feel anything towards women. The only thing that bothers me is...both of you, Akihiko-kun and you are both treading on heartbreak territory."

A softly chuckle escape Ijuuin's lips before looking back at the place where Misaki stood before he disappeared from his sight. "Do you think I fell in love with the wrong kind of person?"

A stern look passed on the old man's face, the orange rays sending a serious shadow over his expression. "There's no such thing as falling with the 'wrong' person Kyo-kun."

Ijuuin placed the cup down on the window seal. Afraid that he might lose his grip anytime soon. "Sometimes I wonder for how long I could take maintaining the cool front in front of Misaki. He came after me I was really happy. But no matter how I look at it, he will never change hearts. I am worried that I am soon snapping, I don't know what I would do when that time comes..."

"You have great control over your self Kyo-kun..."

The dark haired man gave a weak smile. "Not anymore after I met that kid Oji-chan. There were times I just really want to grab and hold him..."

"But you haven't."

"I'm soon to go crazy. When he smiles at me so innocently is the hardest. He is looking at me in a way so different from the way I look at him."

The old man touched Ijuuin's arm lightly. "What if that kid isn't really the one for you? Perhaps a woman? Another one? who knows?"

"Women are out of the question, Oji-chan..." Ijuuin muttered in a weak manner.

"Well if that's the case..." the old man started walking towards the door to continue some restoration he left behind. "Time could only tell. A heart can change, but not so easily. Maybe that kid's will change," the old man then turned the knob and threw a final knowing look at Ijuuin. "Or perhaps yours."

* * *

_Usagi-san. Usagi-san. Usagi-san._

Misaki's head was blank. All that was inside his head was to see the face he missed so badly. He didn't care that his foot was aching from some pointed rock that poked his sole despite his sneakers. He didn't care that he didn't know the place well as he searched for someone he wanted to meet in person.

His blood, his pulse, and his soul, everything was synchronized as it searched for that presence. Wherever it was, Misaki could feel that what he was searching was just close by.

"Please...let me see him...please..." he prayed as he ran through the thick woods. Who would realize that behind the instruments shop was a place full of trees thick enough to be considered as forest?

It would have been more sensible if Misaki searched for the man inside the mansion first or ask the owner himself. But his feet just moved on its own. He could only hope that his feet was going into the direction where the end would be fruitful.

Misaki could feel that he was just running around in circles. He fully remembered seeing that tree with a huge hole on its trunk just a while ago. Huffing and running after his breath, Misaki looked around him with eyes searching. It was as if everything was whirling around him. The trees blocking his view. The sky turning into a sickening orange. The chilly wind that only emphasized how alone he was. Everything was screaming lonely.

"Why did I run here if Usagi-san's not here?" Misaki muttered in a helpless voice. "I only wanted to talk and touch his face...why can't I have those simple things? I never wished for so much extravagant things in life!"

Bathump.

Misaki turned his head towards his left.

Bathump. Bathump.

A heart thumping voilently as if it would jump out of Misaki's chest filled his ears. His cautious footsteps was drowned by the soft leaves and grass. He didn't want to run and dash towards the place where his heart was beating wildly. He didn't want to experience the huge disappointement of seeing nothing but an empty space of trees that would have looked pretty if only he wasn't into a state of longing.

Touching the thick trunk, Misaki stepped up, stood on the huge root of the tree that was sticking out. And that was the time he could swear something unbelievable and childish.

He was too speechless to speak, too surprised to move and too nervous to continue and yet like there was some invisible bond or voice, Usami Akihiko who had his back at Misaki turned towards the teen for no reason.

It seemed like both of their breaths had been knocked out of them. They only stood with good distance between them looking and trying to see if they were just hallucinating. If they were only seeing things because they were longing that much. However, the sudden wind that blew off most of the leaves on the ground sending them everywhere confirmed that what was before them wasn't just a pigment of their imagination.

Misaki stared at the tall man. He was wearing a long, black coat fluttering with the soft breeze. Through his blurry eyes, Misaki slowly took mini steps. Steps that felt so long and painful. He wanted to run, but he couldn't. His thumping heart inside his chest had rendered him so weak he was even surprised he could still move.

Usami Akihiko's unlighted cigarette fell on the ground from his mouth. His lavender eyes were focused on the figure approaching him. He was starting to doubt his mental state thinking there was no way on Earth Misaki would suddenly appear before him after praying for it. It was all too much of a miracle for a man who last prayed from a very long time ago.

"U-Usagi-san?"

That voice swept everything away.

Usami Akihiko's legs suddenly ran without him thinking. They ran to meet Misaki who was still far from him. There was nothing inside his head but to be able to touch Misaki and feel his warmth. Feel that he wasn't dreaming. He never knew that a heart was capable of beating this much just by the sight of teary-eyed Misaki.

It was as if both of them couldn't believe everything and yet they started to hold on to the hope that it was the reality.

No words could describe the feeling when they finally got to embrace each other into a tight hug. One could even say that perhaps, they moved into a different world and their orbit wasn't Earth's anymore. Their arms around each other seemed to be trying to knock the breaths out of them. An emotion so strong no one knew how to express. And yet the longing sobs, the warm arms, the heat from each others' body was more than enough to express how much they missed each other.

"Usagi-san bakero!" Misaki was the first to burst into rage. "Why did you hide that thing from me!? Why do you have to sacrifice so much for me!?" Burying his face in Usami Akihiko's chest, Misaki broke into a painful cry. "Why is there a huge barrier between us now!?"

Wanting to shout more, Misaki fell silent. Who could shout and pretend to be angry when he could feel wetness against his neck where his Usagi-san had buried his face? The warm sensation slowly turning cold due to the chilly air was painful enough for Misaki. Those tears were a symbol that it wasn't just him feeling the gap.

"Misaki...Misaki...Misaki..."

Usami Akihiko just kept on chanting the boy's name and yet it both made them certain that that moment was theirs.

* * *

"Why did you bring the piano here, Usagi-san?"

The two were seated under a majestic tree. Misaki inside Usami Akihiko's arms as they watched the remaining glint of the sun that would soon disappear. They cuddled together as if not planning ever to let go. Savouring each other's scent. Each other's warmth. Feel the pulses so strong it felt like they were drumming in unison.

Usami Akihiko nuzzled on the sweet scent of Misaki's hair and inhaled. "Donation..."

A lie.

"Usagi-san...you lost weight..." Misaki muttered as he ran his hands on the arms wrapped around him. Despite the clothing, Misaki could feel it. Rather, he could sense it.

"I'm sorry..."

"I am angry at you for so many reasons...but I know you did everything for me," Misaki raised his head to meet the lavender eyes. "It would have been better if we were facing this together...I'm sorry too for not having the courage to admit what we are...it's my fault we're in this mess..."

"No. It's not. We would face something like this, it just came sooner than expected. No one's to blame Misaki..."

Misaki never tried it before. But he felt like it was the only thing he could think. He wanted to feel his Usagi-san's lips on him. He wanted to do it without the older man initiating it. Somehow Misaki thought, that was the only way for him to tell the other person that he was so into him.

And so despite the nervousness in his chest, Misaki broke free from the arms and faced the silver-haired man. Kneeling before the man, his hands on Usami's shoulders, Misaki smiled. The smile he thought he almost forgot to do. The kind of smile reserved only for his Usagi-san.

And as if anticipating it, Usami Akihiko did nothing but to smile back at Misaki. And when their lips touched, it was so soft yet strong enough to make them both senseless for a second. It was like a first kiss. That seal with so many promises. That sweet kiss both of them would always treasure forever.

Usami Akihiko wanted to do more. But just seeing and feeling and sensing Misaki was enough at the moment. A sweet reunion for the both of them.

Teary-eyed, Misaki broke away sniffing. Cupping both Usami Akihiko's cheeks, Misaki wiped the older man's tears with his thumb. It was always Usagi-san who tried to comfort him, this time, he wanted to show that he was also capable of doing it.

"Usagi-san, I missed you."

Not knowing where to put the overwhelming feelings boiling inside him, Usami Akihiko touched Misaki's hands on his face. There was no time to be embarrassed to shed tears in front of the one he loved. There were moments were tears acted as symbols of pure happiness. The happiness for the moment was too much he couldn't say it.

"Me too... I was almost going crazy..."

The stares into each other's eyes ended up into another tight embrace. Knowing that there was still a long way ahead before they could stay like that forever.

Misaki turned his head at his Usagi-san's ear and whispered softly. "I'll definitely win Sonate Usagi-san for you..."

"Not just for me Misaki, for yourself as well..."

"I will definitely win it...so please...watch me. Watch me on that day Usagi-san."

Usami Akihiko didn't answer right away. Instead, he kissed the side of Misaki's neck.

"Usagi-san...watch me...okay? Watch me perform the best one in Sonate history!"

Usagi-san patted Misaki on the head and with a smiling voice he whispered, "I'll definetely watch you..."

He was smiling and yet he was remembering something that probably would make him one who couldn't keep a promise.

_"Usami-san, we discussed this with the others who still had faith that everything would be fixed in time...it's just that you have to leave Japan first until the heat died down..._" Agawa-san muttered.

_"I am not against leaving Japan but not until Sonate is done."_

_"No Usami,"_ Hidori cut in. _"The board said the best day you should leave is the day of the Sonate Music Competition. That is to show that Usami Akihiko isn't ruffled despite being removed from the committee. It is also a way of the other affiliates as a retaliation to the shallowness of Sonate to remove a legend from it's house."_

_"What? The day of the Sonate? That's ridiculous!"_ Usami shouted from his seat._ "No."_

Agawa, the woman who seemed to love dressing in black sighed. _"Did you know Usami-san, there was a huge rumor going on about that the retard who leaked the photo might reveal the face of the other person in the photos during Sonate? Seems like whoever did it has a huge hatred to you Usami-san."_

_"That is absolutely irritating I could kill. The post said that if 'Legendary Usami Akihiko' didn't disappear, he'd ruin the other person's life as well. Usami...what would you do? Is there anything else we can do about this? You already went so far as to throw your own reputation for this."_

Usami Akihiko could just remain in silence as he watched his automatic wrist watch's second hand makes it round, circling forever.

_"The day of the Sonate...huh?"_ he muttered like he was saying the most bitter words in the world.

"Promise me Usagi-san...I'll wait for you there!" Misaki muttered like a child wanting assurance. "I'll definitely make you proud this time..."

"I know...promise..."

A promise to be broken or to be kept. No one knew. But they made a promise both of them would carry until the awaited day. An event that was leading for the better or worse.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

_hello everyone! yoho! ^^ what am i saying blooming love above? well i was in a music store and there was a small piano at the corner. i have with me a little girl neighbor. she played with the piano, but since she doesn't know anything about music it ended up as a senseless tune. and lo and behold, a young boy i have never seen appeared and before i realized it, the boy was teaching my little girl friend how to play "happy birthday". i swear you guys i was grinning like crazy the owner of the shop was like "what is wrong with you?" to me...hahah!_

** and also...**

please watch **Kono Danshi Ningyo Hiroimashita** for all BL lovers out there who hasn't yet. This never fails to bring me to tears whenever I watch it. One of the best Shounen Ai OVAs that has a plot,a bite and most of all LOVE!

and..lol..i finished GRAVITATION FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME EARLIER...MUAHAHAH

thank you for your support and time and your kind words! oyasuminasai minna...i wandered to much for today! lol

-shuusetsu


	29. Small World

(^∀^)hello. thank you for your time and patience and for the kind words!(^∀^)

* * *

**■ ■ Small World ■ ■**

* * *

Dark and chilly, Ijuuin let out a sigh from where he was standing. The only thing he could remember was standing by the window, watching the darkness take over.

Placing the empty cup on the small table in the middle of the room, the man darted his gaze at the pendulum clock on his right. Seven in the evening. He should be going back to his studio. He and Misaki should be going back.

He fished his phone and sent a text message. He did not want to make a call since he didn't know what voice he would make knowing that the teen was with the man he was always second with everything. After seeing a reply that said 'okay', Ijuuin went out the personal room of the owner and softly closed the door. The yellowish light from the lamp he left turned on was escaping from the space of the door and the floor.

Fixing the cream scarf around his neck, Ijuuin quietly walked down the spiral staircase. It was eerily silent during the night anyone could almost hear the breath coming from one's mouth. He continued walking until he reached the working room of the old man. He figured he should properly say goodbye before leaving.

"Oji-chan?" Ijuuin called out to the man whose eyes were focused on a violin with its strings snapped.

The door wasn't completely closed so Ijuuin just invited himself in. He didn't say anything as the old man expertly changed the snapped strings with newer ones. The attention the old man was giving to the almost unusable instrument was something Ijuuin admired ever since he was a teenager.

A faint song was playing that served as the old man's background. It was soothing and warm and sweet. A voice that belonged to a child filled the working room it was calming.

"Ah, Kyo-kun, about to leave?" the old man finally took notice of Ijuuin. He placed the violin down on his table carefully and wiped the dust that accumulated on his spectacles.

"Yes. It's getting late and Takahashi-kun still has a lot to do."

Motoharu-san smiled and turned off the lamp on his table, leaving the yellowish glint of the bulb above their heads shower them with a feel of mystery.

"I see, well nice having you here! I better get some rest too..." the old man muttered massaging his hips. "I can feel the signs of old age now."

"You still look so strong to me."

_"You are the best, the best grandpa in the world!"_

Both Ijuuin and the old man looked at each other for a while as their attention got captured by the somehow ridiculous lyrics of the song in the background.

Smirking, Ijuuin crossed his arms. "What a nice song there Oji-chan. Where did you got that 'grandfather' song?"

Walking towards the old cassette on top of a wooden cabinet, the old man turned it off and took the tape out of it. "You couldn't find anything else like this in this world you know? This is a master piece that belongs only to me..." he said with pride.

"I see..." Ijuuin cocked his head when the old man pulled open one of the drawers of the cabinet and revealed a collection of tapes. From the looks of it, they were already old. The titles barely visible.

"These are from my grandson. He would often compose songs on his own and record them and give them to me. See I accumulated so much already?"

There was a soft clicking sound after the old man had pushed the drawer closed and a bitter smile flashed on his face. He walked ahead of Ijuuin out of the working room and let Ijuuin to the main lobby of the house where it was brighter.

"Your grandson has a sweet voice. It's the first time I have heard of it."

"Because he hated hearing those tapes," the old man cut in. "Reminds him of something he didn't want."

"Hated?" Ijuuin repeated as he rested his back against the wall, waiting for any sign of Misaki from the wide open doors. The chandelier that was obviously old shining in the middle, giving off a vintage feel.

Removing his apron and carefully folding it, the old man looked out the door leading to the main road like he was seeing a flashback of his history.

"He loved singing. He loved musical instruments too. I could even tell that he has a huge talent, but let's say...he almost gave up his dreams."

"Sounds like a sad story to me."

As if the old man's strenght got sapped just by remembering, he sighed and took his eyeglasses off.

"He was eight years old when he recorded the songs in those tapes. His dream was to become a singer. But they were all taken from him within a night."

"Why? Sorry but did he die of sickness?" Ijuuin asked curiously since after all the time knowing the old man, it was the first time hearing about those tapes and the old man's grandson.

Gazing at Ijuuin, the old man frowned. "Oi, my grandson is still very much alive. He's turning nineteen this year."

Smiling, Ijuuin scratched the tip of his nose lightly and looked at the clock hanging by the wall.

"Sorry. Hearing that child's voice, I think it would grow into something once it matures. What happened Oji-chan?"

"He got sick. There was a grave complication in his throat they had to operate him. After that, he couldn't carry a tune anymore. Sure he has good ears, can play most of the instruments you can see in this house, but the thing he wanted the most," the old man paused as if saying it aloud was piercing him too. "To be able to sing...he couldn't do anymore."

Silence enveloped them. Ijuuin didn't know what to say anyway. Just imagining his hands being taken away from him was enough to make him cringe. His hands that he used for writing notes, for playing the intruments he enjoyed, they were his treasure and he wouldn't know what he would do in case something happened to them. He could only imagine the withdrawal Oji-san's grandson must have been through.

"Don't feel pity there Kyo-kun, my grandson grew up strong," the old man muttered, his brows flinching a little. "Maybe too strong and hard headed to handle though. He doesn't listen to me anymore," he continued chuckling.

* * *

He felt like dragging himself back to the old house. Pulling away from the strong arms around him, turning away his gaze from the eyes that was drowning him, and walking away from the person he wanted to be with, they were all a painful task as Misaki held on to his strenght, wishing not to leave Usagi-san with a teary face.

"This is only temporary. No need to cry..." Misaki chanted in his mind. The faint moon and the stars were the only source of his light back to where he came from. He could clearly hear the leaves and the twigs snapping under his weight. It was as if it was his heart on the ground.

Misaki stopped and turned his head a little towards his Usagi-san. The man was standing watching him with a faint smile.

"Don't smile like that," Misaki muttered to himself. "That looks so sad."

As if Usami Akihiko could read what was in Misaki's mind who was already a couple of yards away from him, the man raised his hand in the air.

Usami Akihiko insisted that Misaki leave him first. That way he coud have the liberty to watch Misaki's back, Misaki's hair againts the soft breeze, Misaki's figure under the night. He would never get tired of watching everything about Misaki.

When the teen finally reached the old house, he found himself in awe again. The house was beautiful during the day, but it was stunning at night. Its huge windows showing a hint of light, the walls illuminated by the moon's bluish rays and the soft swaying of the leaves of the trees around it as its song at night.

Misaki noticed Ijuuin standing by the door, clearly waiting for him. Embarrassed that he took off for so long without telling the man properly, Misaki approached the dark haired man with his head bowed.

"Did you have fun?" was Ijuuin's question.

Misaki had to raise his head due to confusion. When he met eyes with the man, Ijuuin was just gazing at him as if he was some kind of a precious flower that only bloomed at night. It was unnerving and saddening at the same time. Misaki wished Ijuuin would stop looking at him that way. There was no way on Earth he could return that gaze, no matter how he flip the situation.

"I-I did..." Misaki mumbled. "Sorry for taking so lo-Achoooo!"

"This is not the proper time to get a cold, Takahashi..." Ijuuin muttered with his brow raised.

Nose a little red, Misaki tried to run his sleeves against his nose but Ijuuin stopped him.

"Don't..." he ordered firmly.

Misaki could only watch Ijuuin as the older man pull his cream scarf off his neck . Misaki caught a whiff of the composer's cologne from the fabric after the older man had tried to put it on the teen. It was really chilly and the warmth from Ijuuin's skin was still lingering on the soft scarf. In all honesty, Misaki felt like what was happening was a little too much. It felt like cheating.

Stepping back, Misaki raised his hands in refusal. "No...no thank you I'm fine."

With a frown, Ijuuin threw the scarf behind Misaki with both the ends of the cream fabric on both his hands. He then pulled the scarf closer to him, pulling Misaki at the same time.

"Don't be stubborn," Ijuuin grumbled. "Stay still."

Defeated, Misaki sighed and just allowed Ijuuin to cover him with the scarf, wishing that it would all be over soon. He knew the man was just taking good care of him. But the way things were going, when they were that close, Misaki couldn't help but feel like he was doing something bad. Both to his Usagi-san and to Ijuuin Kyo as well.

"Oh...Takahashi-kun!" the old man stepped out of the door with a huge grin. "Be careful not to get sick!"

"Ah! Ye-yes! Thank you!" Misaki exclaimed, bowing towards the man.

"Kyo-kun, Takahashi-kun, please be careful on your way!"

The two walked away from the house to the parking lot with smiles on their faces. The whole trip to that house had been both entertaining and surprising. The silence that prevailed on their way to the parking lot was surprisingly soothing instead of the awkwardness Misaki was expecting.

"Did you get anything from the old man's house?" Ijuuin asked after opening the door to the driver's seat. The light post near them was flickering as if it would die anytime soon.

Smiling with all honesty, Misaki threw a glance back at the house. "Yes...I realized some things... Thank you for bringing me here, Ijuuin-san."

"Then purpose served," Ijuuin smiled and went inside the car.

Not long after that, Misaki hopped in and from a distance, Usami Akihiko watched the black car pull out of the parking lot into the dirt road.

* * *

The silence inside the car, the trees they passed by, and the darkness ahead of them made everything inside Misaki's head hazy. They haven't got away that far from the old house and yet, the teen's head was already on the verge of hitting the car window. Ijuuin stole a glance at Misaki then back at the path before him.

"You must be tired from all the crying you did..." Ijuuin whispered into the car. He could very well see the swelling around Misaki's eyes, a sign of crying. But Ijuuin chose not to press on the matter anymore since he knew it would just lead to something he didn't like to hear. And so making sure that he was driving at a medium speed, careful not to wake Misaki, Ijuuin silently hummed to himself.

His black car continued to work its way out of the quiet neighborhood back to the bustling city. He noticed that there was an approaching vehicle due to the headlights and judging from the dirt, dust and the leaves that were being scattered around the approaching car, the vehicle was running at a high speed. Just being cautious, Ijuuin chose to run slower. In that road, dark and quiet, was a place susceptible for accidents.

Even under the closed windows of the car, the swish of the car could be heard as it passed by Ijuuin's. Drowsy Misaki opened his eyes a little as he watched the approaching lights as well. He thought that the bluish car was familiar, but the sleepiness in him prevailed and before he knew it, he was already asleep.

* * *

-  
Just as Usami Akihiko pulled out of the parking lot, the bluish car Ijuuin saw went in. The composer didn't care so much at the car. He focused his eyes towards the road and hit the accelarator towards his own home.

"Hmmm?" the driver inside the car that just arrived turned his head back noticing the disappearing red sports car from his grandfather's house. "I guess Oji-chan do get high-profile customers once in a while."

He jumped out of his car and shivered at the chilly breeze that welcomed him. His eyes wandered from the flickering light post towards the old house that would look totally grand if the owner would just agree to renovating the place. But the old man was stubborn saying the spirit of the house will get lost if they renovate it.

"Ah...I'm hungry," slamming the car door shut, he trudged the leafy ground with his boots towards the back entrance of the house. He didn't like the main entrance for some reason.

He knocked but no one answered.

"Ah my god are the people in the house trying to freeze me here?" he started kicking the door with his boots while his face was in a scowl. He was really impatient when it comes to trivial things. Or maybe not just trivial things.

"Oi! Could someone open the damn door?!"

Who could blame anyone in the house when it was so huge and there were only two people occuppying it? What if the people inside were busy doing something? But to the person outside the house, he didn't care. He only cared about the freaking door to open and allow him to experience the warmth inside.

After five minutes of kicking and cursing, he heard running steps from the inside. Finally.

"Ishi!" the voice from the inside shouted. "Stop kicking the door, it will fall off from its hinges!" a voice of a young man shouted from the inside accompanied by clumsy sounds of locks being opened.

Running his hands on his soft hair, Ishi smirked at the excited voice of his childhood friend his grandfather had adopted and was now working as a helper in that instruments shop. "Damn slow! Hurry up!"

When the door with flower carvings opened, the young man Misaki talked to earlier gave a bow as if worshipping the prince of the house. "Welcome back, your highness..." the young man pretended. They always did that when they were younger.

"Cut it out will you?" Ishi laughed while smacking his friend at the back.

Ishi inhaled the scent of the entire house. It was a mix of wood, acetone and varnish. Something he always missed when he had to stay in Tokyo for so long.

"Where's Oji-chan?"

The young man turned his head at Ishi as he was locking the numerous latches back and nodded his head towards the farthest door of the hallway. "The usual...listening to the news with his old radio."

"Oh..." Ishi replied with bored eyes. "Then I'll go to him...could you get me food if there's any? Shit...I hope there is!"

"There is, don't worry."

Ishi walked like royalty in the ancentral house. His shoes clicking loudly, his black shirt contrasting with his eyes. The shadows casting on his slim body as he got nearer to the ajar door.

"Oj-"

"_Sonate competition is just around the corner. Everyone is anticipating one of the major events of the year-_" the soft, hissy sound of the radio reached the young man's ears. He was always in wonder why the old man was settling with the old radio when he had bought him huge flat screen TV.

_"Meanwhile...a trustworthy source said that a major pop idol already returned to Japan a couple of days ago. The rumor about him studying and having someone preg-"_

Ishi stomped towards the radio beside his grandfather who was rocking himself on a rocking chair. He slammed his hand on it and the radio instantly turned off.

"Oji-chan...Kanata is seriously thinking you're listening to some worthwhile news. Not some show business crap."

The old man opened his closed eyes and smiled at the handsome or more like a pretty face hovering over his. "Ishi-chan...welcome home!"

Smiling the first genuine smile of the day, Ishi leaned closer and gave a peck on the old man's forehead. "Tadaima..."

Like the accomodating old man that he was, Motoharu-san stood from his chair and went to the corner of the room to prepare tea for his seldom home grandson. The room was cluttered with old newspapers and empty lids and cover of pianos. The floor dusty. If it wasn't the place he loved, Ishi would have cursed the entire place.

"Ishi have you lost weight? Your face is slimmer..."

Ishi sat on the rocking chair and played with it while his eyes were fixed outside of the huge window facing the vast lot of trees. "I did? I spent half my life in the US but I can't get used to the food."

"And what's that rumor saying you got some girl pregnant? Is that even true?"

Laughing a hearty laugh, Ishi almost cried as he clutched his stomach. "Pregnant? No way...no way!"

"So why did you come back so suddenly?"

"Eh...Oji-chan...I feel like I have some use here. Io has some major role to play and I am damn excited!" the teen muttered happily, rocking himself harder.

"That screen name of yours has nothing but destructive rumors right now. I didn't stop you with your shadow singer thing but please be careful in the future Ishi. You're the only family I have, my dear grandson, I might die from heart attack if I hear worse gossips about you..."

"Oji-chan...don't be too dramatic! There's nothing to worry," Shizuku Ishi, known as Io declared with a satisfied grin. "This'll be fun."

* * *

The descructive rays of the morning light was making Misaki's head hurt. When they arrived home last night, he instantly went to working on his song. He felt that if he rested and waited for the next day, his inspiration would dissolve into thin air. And so, wanting to enclose every emotion he had that day into his song, he stayed up all night.

Ijuuin Kyo who had stopped going home as well and instead chose to stay in his office yawned. The first few buttons of his polo from the other night open, his hair as a mess as he tried to sleep on one of the sofas in his office. He couldn't just go home and sleep in the comfort of his bed knowing that Misaki was in his studio, burning his eyes, shedding his blood into composing.

With lazy fingers, the composer tapped something on his laptop and looked at the calender on his table. "One week...there's only one week..."

The tall man found himself smiling a little at the sight of a paper bag under his table. Clearly, his secretary even went on his way to prepare a change of clothes for Ijuuin.

"Hmm?" brows raised, Ijuuin bended to pick the paper bag and the attached note on it.

_"This is only until the Sonate is done. I have never seen you work your head off so I am glad about it.-Fuji"_

Brushing his hair in place with his long fingers, Ijuuin stood and walked out of his office. It has become a habit to check on Misaki whether he was sleeping on the floor, focused on writing or trying to figure out how those huge consoles and mixers work. Ijuuin had started to check on Misaki before he even fix himself. Although Misaki didn't know it, it was always Ijuuin who checked if the temperature of the studio wasn't too cold or warm for him.

When Ijuuin pushed open the door, he found Misaki, bags under the eyes staring hard at the Neve VR60 in his studio used for recording. Misaki looked like he was so into looking at it that he hasn't noticed Ijuuin approach him.

"What? Overwhelmed?" Ijuuin started.

Instead of a jumpy Misaki Ijuuin was expecting, the teen just stared at the equipment with fiery eyes. It somehow made Ijuuin look at it too.

The numerous buttons of that machine could really make an average person get a headache. It was complicated and takes a lot of time using it before one could get used to it.

Both men deprived of sleep watched the machine occupying a huge space in silence. Amused at the serious look on Misaki's face, Ijuuin tapped Misaki on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you everything you have to know about using these things."

"Uhm..." Misaki clenched his fists. His face with a serious look Ijuuin couldn't just brush off.

Ijuuin waited for Misaki to talk. The ticking of each passing second told Ijuuin that Misaki probably was thinking of something deep or hard or hard to achieve. But still he waited.

Raising his gaze towards the man standing beside him, Misaki looked straight at the dark eyes before him. The teen didn't care that he looked pale. He just really need to know the composer's reaction.

"Ijuuin-san...about this digital composing..." Misaki looked at the wall behind Ijuuin and then back at the tall man. His green eyes showing nervousness.

"Are you worried you might not learn how to use them?" Ijuuin coaxed.

"No...not that."

"No need to be shy. Tell me so we can address the concern properly."

"Err..." starting to smile at the absurdity of what he was planning, Misaki let out a small laugh. "Instead of recording it Ijuuin-san..." the teen started fidgeting. "Can we hire a real orchestra for the Sonate?"

Ijuuin just looked at the nervously smiling Misaki before him. Well, it wasn't a matter of money why he was surprised hearing that. True, digital composing could be hard. But arranging a piece for a whole orchestra would be harder. Especially for a newbie like Misaki.

The long pause from Ijuuin, Misaki interpreted it as a 'no'. He looked at his feet and felt sad. He really wanted the help of real people playing than a sound produced by equipments. But if there was no one to help him, there was no way on the planet he could get himself one.

"Don't look so down. I didn't say no, did I?" Ijuuin cut through Misaki's thoughts. The man crossed his arms on his chest and sighed. "What you want to do is harder. But I have no qualms in a student who's trying to cross the lines."

Like the morning sunshine outside, Misaki's face started to lit up as he stared with expectant and grateful eyes at his 'sensei'.

Ijuuin smiled and ruffled Misaki's messy hair. One of the gestures he could do which he thoroughly enjoyed. "You asked, and I shall give it to you."

* * *

"Usami-sama, I'll be waiting in the lobby."

The tall man, who was wearing a suit and tie didn't move an inch to where he was standing. He didn't turn as he heard the disappearing sound of his right-hand man's shoes on the floor.

It was still very early in the morning. The light was shining brighter than usual inside his flat. It was because there was no more curtains blocking them.

Looking around, the paintings on the wall weren't there anymore. The shelves, empty. The cubboards has nothing in it. The dressers with no clothes. The whole flat was an empty place, about to be left by its owner for a long time.

When a person stand in such a huge space about to be left, all of the important person's memories would somehow flash before the eyes. There was no telling if it was the owner's wish not to leave, or the wish of the memories lingering in it. Instead of seeing the material things that occupied that space, it was the things and the replay of all the things that took place that was visible. The experience was both heartfilling and heartwrenching at the same time.

"A week before Sonate..." he sighed. "Time is really fast."

The composer paid one last look at the entirety of his flat before quietly closing the door. Leaving the house behind.

The legendary composer decided to leave his recidence due to the fact that paparazzis had started making a camp outside the whole residencial area. He couldn't get privacy and peace. There would always be someone ringing the door bell despite the tight security dispatched for him.

And so he decided to stay in a hotel until the day of the Sonate. Or until the day of his flight.

It was as if he didn't even have the freedom to choose what he wanted due to the threats about the pictures of which the full blow would land on Misaki.

Wanting to stay to give Misaki his support, yet knowing that it could also break Misaki at the same time was torture. There was no way to choose without having to hurt.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

YOHO! THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND KIND WORDS! BTW...IF YOU ARE THINKING WHO'S **SHIZUKU ISHI, **HE'S IS IN JR CHAPTER 32! HAHAHA...SO NOW YOU CAN SEE IO.^^

btw..interestingly..ishi could also mean stone in Japan...very fitting for Io...is still fishy? ne? hahaha

this is the **newest cover of Shadow Singer** I made...the pics of Usagi-san, Misaki, Ijuuin and Io.^^ please check it too! domo!

mainichiyaoi. tu m bl r.c0m / image/45860348489


	30. Destructive Shadow

hello minna...it's...it's...me SHOOOOOOOTS OFF TO THE SKY...LOL

* * *

** ・・・・・・・・・Destructive Shadow・・・・・・・・・**

* * *

He totally lost track of when was morning and when was evening. Day and night, Misaki did nothing but focus and focus until he could no longer do so.

All the alien words that Misaki had to learn, all the music theories he had to memorize, all the counterpoints and analysis Ijuuin had forced in his brain, everything had actually paid off.

Misaki held his tie tightly with his hand. It was silky and smooth against his palm. Every rustle his clothes made was a sound symbolizing that the time has come.

_"I've taught you everything I can squeeze in that short span of time. Now go ahead and blow us away_," Misaki remembered Ijuuin telling him after he had finished discussing entire music score to the music conductor that took whole three days and nights without sleeping.

Ijuuin was looking pale and unfocused from all the sleepless nights. And yet when Misaki thought that the man would scold him for too many unnecessary jumps and transpositions in what he had created, Ijuuin just gave him a smile.

_"I am giving you all control. You're the master of your own music Takahashi-kun. I merely helped you build it up,"_ the man muttered in a half yawn.

Green eyes stared hard at the mirror. His hair was strangely polished, his face as if sparkling. His slender fingers moved slowly on his cheeks, as if still not believing that that was the day he'd been waiting for.

_"We're looking forward to performing with you in Sonate. The score was brilliant,_" the concert master of the orchestra Ijuuin called told Misaki after wrap up. _"To be honest, we thought that performing a song a mere kid composed sounded like a joke, but we are taking back our words."_

A sigh of excitement building up in his chest escaped his mouth. His chest constricting from nervousness too. In all honesty, Misaki still felt like he was dreaming while awake. Hallucinating even in broad day light. But the fact that he almost couldn't contain the reality that he would be stepping up in front of all the respected names who didn't even know him and showcase all that he had worked hard for was the proof that it was the real thing. Like the final count down had started.

Leaving the wash room, Misaki walked slowly towards Fuji-san's office. The room was as neat as it had always been compared to Ijuuin's that looked like a dump from all the all nighters the man had pulled. Midmorning sun was playing outside, trying to come in from the venetian blinds of the windows. The faint sound of a television left turned on filled the entire space.

_"The roads on both sides had been closed now. There are just too many people already arriving outside Ishikawa Ongakudo..."_

On the white wall was a flatscreen TV showing the familiar structure. The waves of people, the fire crackers being fired every once in a while reflecting on Misaki's eyes. The teen stared at the appliance like he was staring into something out of this world.

_"There will be projectors that will air the entire event outside the building for the expectators who wouldn't be able to get in. What can you say Minato-san? This year's Sonate is grander than last year, ne?"_ a woman commentator started.

_"Ah yes, it's not just going to be aired in Japan, but a foreign television network had teamed up with the Sonate for it's airing in an international cable! Sugoi desu ne?"_

Misaki gulped. It was only that time that the real nervousness started creeping inside his chest. The attention from everyone was overwhelming. All Misaki could think was all eyes would be on him. And the thought was enough to make his legs waver.

"Eh?" Misaki muttered when all of a sudden, the television turned black. The teen slowly turned his gaze behind his back and saw Ijuuin frowning while holding the remote control.

"That idiot leaving the television on..." Ijuuin grumbled throwing the remote on the sofa.

"I-Ijuuin-san, why?" confused, Misaki looked at Ijuuin who was already wearing a sleek dark suit and at the television remote control alternatingly.

"Watching the news would just make you unnecessarily nervous. Don't pay attention to it."

Ijuuin would look at Misaki with a pained expression for a fleeting second then would turn normal as if it was nothing. The teen could sense it as Ijuuin started walking towards his secretary's table to look at the papers on top of it. The man's cologne filled Misaki's nose. The authoritative feel coming off from Ijuuin's every pores was everywhere. But instead of Misaki looking at Ijuuin with awe and admiration like the teen felt before, that moment, Misaki could only watch Ijuuin with a face between sorry and grateful.

Watching Ijuuin's broad shoulders, Misaki bit his bottom lip thinking that probably, Ijuuin Kyo did really love him. After all the things that had happened, Ijuuin didn't abandom him which the man could do whenever he pleased. Misaki couldn't and wouldn't hate Ijuuin, that was what Misaki thought as he felt himself being pulled back to the night he finished the music scores.

Sometimes, being too lucky could be scary leading to damages of the souls concerned.

Wobbly from lack of sleep, Misaki walked the dimly lit hallway of the building floor Ijuuin owned and served as his recording and music studio, aside from it being his official office. The teen heard from Ijuuin that the man would be out for a business meeting and wouldn't be back the next day. Despite knowing that, Misaki decided to go to the composer's office so he could leave the final draft and allow his 'sensei' check on it once he arrives the next day.

With only Misaki's excitement and happiness at finally being able to finish the song he started, the teen with seemingly weak legs finally reached the room.

"I wonder what he would say..." Misaki muttered. His droopy eyes rested first on the glass window of the door. It showed that clearly it was empty since there was no light from the inside of the room.

Hugging the folder with one hand towards his chest, Misaki turned the knob quietly and pushed the door open slowly.

Drowsy and tired, Misaki's adjustment to the darkness was a little slower he had to blink a couple of times to adjust. The teen went in feeling the cold floor against his bare feet. The door softly closed behind him. And by sheer memory to where everything was placed from the numerous times Misaki had been there, the teen made his way deeper into the room too lazy to switch on the lights.

"1:17?" Misaki mumbled to himself when he saw a glow-in-the-dark mini clock calling out for his attention.

The teen looked around realizing that the thick curtains of the glass walls were pushed to the side. It gave Misaki a faint light from the night outside allowing the teen to move around freely. Shadows everywhere, Misaki finally reached the front of the cluttered table and carefully placed the folder on it. Misaki treated his folder like a precious gem. After all it was his first creation.

"There," he sighed. "I'd sleep now...Ijuuin-san said we'd be having discussions with the orchestra tomorrow after noon..."

Smiling to himself, Misaki turned around to go back where he came from, the music studio to sleep. The padded floors felt so enticing though it was rough, just thinking about it was enough to make Misaki more sleepy than he already was.

"Hmm?" Misaki squinted at the silhoutte that unmistakably belonged to his 'sensei'. It came out from the door at the other side of the room. If he was not mistaken it was the door to Ijuuin's washroom.

"Ijuuin-san? I didn't know you were here already..."

The shadow within the shadows came nearer and nearer. Wobbly, unsteady it grew bigger and bigger in Misaki's eyes. As if the teen asked the air, there was no answer but silence all around him.

For some reason, the silence of the other man woke up the guard system in Misaki the teen moved by reflex. His feet started stepping backwards while his gaze was still focused on Ijuuin's face hidden by the darkness.

"Ahm, Ijuuin-san..." Misaki began, inching to the side. "I'll take my leave."

Finally getting all the strenght, Misaki dashed before the shadow. Past the silent presence. Away from the dangerous feeling Misaki could sense around Ijuuin.

The teen sighed a sigh of relief when he passed Ijuuin. He only had to run to the door thinking that probably the business meeting Ijuuin went to didn't go well. However, he felt a sharp pain on his shoulder when he felt a strong hand yank his arm backwards.

"Oww...Iju-"

He thought his breath had left him. In a matter of seconds, Misaki found himself half lying on the table where he had just placed his folder. Brain too tired to process things, Misaki was left staring at the scary face hovering above his, at the body leaning on top of him.

_What's going on here...this...this is really bad..._

Prison to the arms on both of his sides, the teen tried to escape causing everything on the table to scatter on the floor. The sound of papers falling out of order softly landing on the floor sounded so strong it made Misaki all awake.

"Mi-saki..." the voice called out to him. Slurry, deep, and pained.

The faint light from the outside of the room through the walls showered them with a yellowish glint. The dishelvelled polo, the messy hair and that face and scent, Misaki could only come with one answer.

"Ijuuin-san you're drunk!" Misaki muttered, pushing the man by the shoulders. "Please get off me!"

A menacing chuckle filled Misaki's ears. It sounded low. It sounded so not like the composed and cool voice of Ijuuin Kyo. The man Misaki was facing was someone else. A man under the influence of alcohol that turned into a scary beast.

Flinching at the feeling of a cold hand running at the lenght of one of his arms, Misaki tried to pull away. Only to feel the hard table with a slam against his back.

"You came here without turning the lights on. Are you that careless or you actually want me to make a pass at you?"

Face hot from shock, Misaki froze at the feeling of something hard poking on his stomach.

"No! I didn't," the wet sensation of a tongue running on his neck so suddenly made Misaki shiver in fright. "S-stop..."

"Stop? You already did something like this with Usami Akihiko," Ijuuin whispered into Misaki's ear. "Why acting coy?"

_This kind of thing..._

It was as if Misaki's mind had turned blank. No matter how hard he tried to push Ijuuin away, he was like a leaf under a huge rock. All the pecks on his face was like needles poking him in all directions despite them being gentle. A hand foreign to him running, tracing on his skin sent goosebumps all over his body. A breath caressing his neck that stinks of alcohol made Misaki wanting to puke. And that weight on him, the uncomfortable heaviness that felt like it was sinking him deeper into the table was suffocating he could hardly breath.

_This feels disgusting...so disgusting..._

"Misaki...be with me..."

It was all a mystery how Misaki saw Usagi-san's face while feeling the sickening kisses the man on top of him was showering on him. He only belonged to Usami AKihiko. There was no way he could be with Ijuuin Kyo. That was what Misaki's head and heart was screaming at the same time.

And when the older man started fondling on Misaki's belt, adrenaline rushed throughout Misaki's shivering body. The next thing both of the men was doing, they were both staring at each other's eyes. Misaki panting as if exhausted, his hand still feeling the warmth of the sting after slapping Ijuuin Kyo with all his might. And Ijuuin, looking expressionless as his dark eyes started searching deep within Misaki's wide-open eyes that still glimmered despite the darkness.

Misaki looked more hurt than Ijuuin who was the one that got slapped. Misaki would rather choose to be the one getting hurt than hurting others, but what else could he do? That was the last of his strenght trying to protect himself for his Usagi-san's sake too. Misaki regret hurting Ijuuin, but he would regret it too not fighting what was about to happen.

"Sorry..." Misaki mouthed, no voice escaping his lips. "Sorry..."

It was what Misaki could only mutter as he looked at the dark eyes looking down on him. It was the only word that Misaki could think of saying as he watched the tears from Ijuuin landing on his cheeks. It felt cold on his skin.

"You're drunk...Ijuuin-san...please let me go..."

"I'm not drunk," Ijuuin smiled at Misaki despite the cold tears still dripping from his eyes. It was a shower of sorrow on Misaki's face. The man couldn't even believe he was actually crying in front of a boy. "I tried to use alcohol as the justification of this raging feelings inside me, but believe me Misaki I am not drunk..."

It wasn't the fact that Misaki was on the verge of being raped that made the tears in his eyes started welling. It was the pained look on Ijuuin's face that made Misaki cry. He knew the feeling of not being able to get through to the person one liked. He had it first hand when Usami Akihiko was still all into Io. He could sympathize, but there was nothing more he could do.

"Does what I really want from you makes you sad at me?"

"I'm sorry..."

"Drunk or not, you always end up rejecting me."

"..."

"Tell me," Ijuuin gritted his teeth, stopping himself from totally taking the boy under him by force. "Why can't it be me?"

Trembling, Misaki hid his eyes with his arm. He couldn't almost accept that his sensei was making such a sad face all because of him. How could he be the reason for someone else's sadness?

"Fuji-san once told me that you hate being second Ijuuin-san..." Misaki mumbled as he remained lying on that cold table. "If you forced yourself on me...you'd still be second. Please, don't settle for that."

Misaki felt strong hands grasp him by the shoulder. The world seemed back to normal when he realized that he was pulled by Ijuuin into a sitting position instead of his pathetic form on the table.

"Please, leave me alone," Ijuuin whispered behind the darkness.

"Ij-"

"I understand," a hoarse voice cut in. "I will not force my feelings into you anymore. From this point on I am just your senior."

"I'm sorry..." the teen mumbled. It was dark but Misaki could see the shaking on the man's shoulders.

"You have nothing to apologize. Just leave now before I change my mind."

Taking Ijuuin's words as serious, Misaki rushed from the table to the door that would symbolize the stop and line of any romantic feelings Ijuuin had for him. In truth, Misaki wanted to slam the door shut and hide feeling his heartbeat drumming inside his chest. But instead, he slowed down by the door and threw a glance at the dark silhoutte of Ijuuin.

"I am not in any position to say this to you Ijuuin-san," Misaki muttered softly."But there is someone out there who would make you their number one. Not their second or third..."

"You're still so nice to me?" Ijuuin asked in a laughing tone. Misaki just stayed silent.

A long pause passed by as if both were trying to size up what to do next. And then a sigh that seemed to be carrying all the tension bottled up came from Ijuuin.

"Misaki, I'm sorry for what I did," it was a voice weak Misaki couldn't almost hear. "Allow me to still watch over you."

The teen smiled subtly though he doubted Ijuuin saw that. "I'll be in your care."

There was almost nothing that changed between Ijuuin Kyo and Misaki's relationship after that encounter. Ijuuin was still the cool 'sensei' that could be pretty strict at times. It was as if nothing really happened Misaki sometimes would wonder if everything had just been a dream.

But the glint of sadness in a matter of milliseconds in Ijuuin's eyes when the man looks at him was proof that it wasn't a dream. However, the two already had an unspoken understanding that the relationship could not be furthered anymore. Misaki was a grateful student. Ijuuin was a proud instructor. That was all there could be.

And though Ijuuin knew it might take years for him to move on, a benefit of being Misaki's 'sensei' and friend was to be able to watch Misaki grow into something promising while staying by his side.

"Oi...what are you spacing out there?"

"Ha? Ah eh..." Misaki was lost in thought he hadn't realized that Ijuuin was already waiving his hand in front of his face.

"Nervous?" Ijuuin asked with a smirk.

"Anyone would be I guess!" Misaki countered, embarrassed at how obviously nervous he was.

"Fuji prepared a mini goodluck party for you. Let's eat before heading to the battle ground, shall we?"

* * *

Innocent blue eyes wandered from the luggages bigger than her to the people walking in front of her. When she looked up, the high ceiling and the bright, shining chandeliers caught her attention. The men and women in different style of clothes rushed before her like tides of the sea.

Sora liked her dress that it was pink and flowery. She was told that they would go somewhere. For her it was a trip to something exciting so she was all happy. But the girl, no matter how she stared at her godfather sitting on one of the plush sofas of the hotel lobby, Sora couldn't find a glint of 'happiness' and 'excitement' she could feel on the man's expression.

"Papa," Sora-chan started, tugging the polo shirt of her father currently on the reception area talking to one of the ladies. "Are we really going somewhere far?"

Hidori looked down at Sora and smiled. "No baby, we will just accompany your godfather to the airport."

Trying to ask more, Sora stood on her toes trying to reach the counter. "To the airport? Where Papa?" the young girl looked at Usami Akihiko from afar. "Why does Aki-chan look like he isn't so happy about it?"

Not getting any answer from her father, Sora darted her attention to Agawa Midori. The tall woman felt like a tower to Sora as she stood before the woman beside her father.

"Midori, do you have any of my business cards with you?" Sora heard her father ask his fiance.

"Ah..yes I remember I have a copy," the tall woman then started rummaging into her shoulder bag. It was a bloody, red bag that hurt Sora's eyes.

"Sora-chan," Midori muttered, calling Sora's attention. "Could you hold this for a sec?"

Extending her small hands, Sora took the phone with a curious look.

"Thanks."

The little girl couldn't count anymore how many minutes her father and Miri-chan had been on that counter talking endlessly. When she realized that her Aki-chan was no longer sitting on the spot he was a while ago, the young girl felt a sudden gush of boredom.

Her hands carefully holding the phone, Sora thought of something as she walked away to stand on a nearby flower pot almost bigger than her.

"Should I suprise him that I can make a call already?"

Blue eyes determined, she began dialling the number she knew by heart. She decided she would marry her Misa-nii a long time ago, naturally she'd know his number.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Frowning, the girl looked at the phone screen. "Why is Misa-nii not picking up?"

Not wanting to give up, Sora pressed the drop button and dialled again.

_"Hello? Who's this?"_ the voice on the other line answered.

Instantly, Sora jumped up and down, her pigtails swaying on her shoulders at the sound of her Misa-nii's sweet voice.

"Misa-niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" the girl squealed.

_"Eh?"_ the voice clearly was surprised. _"S-Sora-chan?"_

"Misa-nii I miss youuuuuuuu!" the girl muttered excitedly. "I can call you now on my own ne?"

Misaki laughed on the other line._ "That's very nice Sora-chan, but did you ask permission?"_

"Hmmm..." biting down on her lower lip feeling bad and guilty, she lowered her head. 'No..."

_"Aww...Sora-chan..."_

"I know! I know...I just wanted to try calling you Misa-nii..."

The person on the other line sighed. A patience Misaki learned from having to be around Riki-san and Io in his previous work.

"Misa-nii...you remember Aki-chan?"

_"'Aki-chan'"?_ Misaki repeated ransacking his brain.

"He's going away..."

_"A-away? Sora-chan what do you mean?"_

The little girl looked surprised when she felt the phone on her ear slide away from her hands. When she looked up, a stern face of Agawa Midori met her. The phone in her hand with her fingers polished in black.

"Sora-chan...that's bad using other people's things without asking first."

"I was just..." the little girl bowed, feeling guilty as she was caught in the act. "Sorry Miri-chan..."

The woman looked into the still continuous call on her phone and frowned. Thinking that it might be one of the paparazzis almost harrassing her client, she instantly dropped the call.

* * *

There was a heavy traffic going to Kanazawa. It was a wise decision on Ijuuin's part to go early to the venue of the competition. Just from a far, the people had already set out their camps lively waiting for the competition. Police officers had been dispatched everywhere. Men in blacks and civilian watchers loiter the said vicinity.

Although many wanted to watch the competition in person, the Ishikawa Ongakudo Hall could only accomodate a specified number of people. Not to mention that the tickets for the competition were a little expensive. Without a choice yet still wanting to take part of one of the year's major events, youngsters and the old would stay and watch through the electronic boards set-up outside the building for the expectators. The roads being closed for the event as well.

Television networks all over Japan had their vans outside, taking in all the happenings from the outside. And also crews in the hall to take what was going on inside. It was grand, and the excitement was in the air. Young people even started their own concerts outside as they waited for the official start of the competition.

And even people in their homes or offices were tuned to the latest happenings of the Sonate. Musically inclined or not, everyone felt like watching the whole event for the glamor of it. It was almost a part of the culture and everyone felt like wanting to be a part of it despite being away. Not wanting to be left behind the talk that would surely come follow after the event.

Misaki was standing nervous beside his 'sensei' as the draw for when he would perform was taking place.

_Please...not the first...but I don't want to be the last as well..._

With all his brain waves, Misaki stared at the black box where the composers insert their hands to get the number of the competitor's turn. Despite being in an era where everything was almost high tech, Sonate still wanted to keep most of its tradition.

When it was Ijuuin's turn, Misaki stopped breathing. Wiping his sweaty hand on his dark pants, Misaki drew a deep breath. He wasn't just nervous about the draw. He was nervous, crazy nervous about the whole thing. He could feel his heart jumping so hard against his ribs. And his sweaty hands were being a bother. He could even feel a sensation in his throat like something was creepy up, he started to worry about giving off strange sounds. And butterflies in the stomach was an understatement. At that time Misaki imagined elephants in amok inside him. He couldn't stay still.

The teen watched the line of glamorous dressed people also waiting for their turn. And his rivals looking so composed and cool about everything. He could see some that looked nervous, but not as nervous as him. At that time, he felt like he was about to puke everything he had eaten that morning.

"Takahashi-kun," Ijuuin called out to him, the man's hand on his shoulder. Flying into worry world, Misaki hadn't even noticed the man approach him from the draw table.

"Relax. You're more than prepared for this."

Green eyes looked at Ijuuin with high hopes. "When...when is m-my turn?"

"36th," Ijuuin answered. "There are 60 competitors, so you're almost in the middle."

Misaki didn't know whether to be relieved or not. He started thinking maybe if being first would be better. That way he could be free sooner and breath. Or maybe being the last one would be better thinking that probably he should have calmed down by that time.

"I told you relax. Feeling nervous is good," Ijuuin lectured while smacking Misaki on the back lightly. "But too much isn't."

"Ha...hai..."

The two walked side by side the hallway glimmering with gold. It was as if the hall's designer for the event was immitating the Autumn colors outside. The red carpet where they were walking on felt so soft Misaki thought he'd sink into a different world. Still feeling uncomfortable, Misaki excused himself to the toilet.

Ijuuin waited with sharp eyes around the people passing him. He somehow heard a distant commotion from where he was standing. He decided to check on it since he knew that not far from where he was was the main help desk of the Sonate.

As Ijuuin walked nearer, the commotion got clearer. Behind his dark sunglasses, the man had raised his brow at what he was hearing.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I forgot my ticket at home? I bought the most expensive one for your information so you have to give me a pass to the hall!"

"But Sir, it's a major protocol to present your tickets before being given a pass..."

Ijuuin watched the guy blow the hair that gathered in front of his face. The strands flying to the side. He could see how haughty the guy was.

"So what do you expect me to do then? Drive in this traffic? Get my freaking ticket and come back here? The competition would be over by then!"

Not liking the aura around the guy that Ijuuin estimated to be not far from Misaki's age, Ijuuin stood and watched where the directionless conversation would go.

For such a formal event, Io was wearing leather pants and red boots and a sleeveless white shirt. It was as if he was saying "give me attention" to everyone.

"Fine. Okay. Then I'll buy another ticket. Will that make you happy?" Io asked sarcastically, hammering his hand on the spotless white table where behind it were two flustered women were sitting not knowing what to do.

"I'm really sorry Sir but the tickets were all sold out. There's nothing I..."

"WHAT?" Io roared. His face hidden by his huge dark sunglasses like Ijuuin. It failed to hide the utter irritation on that flawless face.

"We're really sorry Sir, we're just following..."

Sneering, Io looked like he was about to throw a major tantrum. What he wanted, he should get. And he freaking wanted to be inside the hall for a lot of reasons. About to kick the table with his boots, he froze when he saw a silver ticket fly on top of the white table top.

Io and the ladies in-charge stared at the rectangular piece of silver paper with the official logo of Sonate first before darting their eyes at Ijuuin.

"You're causing a commotion here. Shut-up and there's your ticket."

Io raised his brow and slowly took the ticket off the table. "How much?"

Ijuuin couldn't help but smile. Smile in irritation or what, he didn't know. "It's for free."

"Ha?" Io muttered.

Boots sharply clicking against the floor where the red carpet was not covering, Io walked towards Ijuuin. Waiving the ticket in the air, Io smirked. "I don't want to be indebted to a stranger. It's fine with me even if you added additional cost."

Many eyes were already on them that Ijuuin felt like wanting to go away already. Besides Misaki must be already out of the washroom.

"Fine, I'll give it to you in exchange for 10 million yen. And I only accept cash."

"What?! Are you out of your mind?"

"You're willing right? I don't care if you'll go broke," Ijuuin started walking away enjoying the disbelieving face despite the glasses.

"Oi!"

Raising his hand in the air as if waiving to irritate the already mad young man, Ijuuin turned his head slightly. "I tell you accept the graciousness of some stranger sometimes."

Not wanting it but having no choice, Io used the ticket Ijuuin gave to him to get his pass.

* * *

"I can't calm down..." Misaki muttered as he look is face in the huge mirror.

Despite being jumpy, Misaki couldn't hide the reality that he was really nervous to actually present something to his Usagi-san. A piece he said that would make the man proud. Imagining Usagi-san's happy face and proud smile, Misaki started again to feel more nervous.

He was not backing out and he'd give everything he had in that four minutes given to him. Besides, he had Ijuuin Kyo, the BlackMedley as his guide, the orchestra they got were full of talented and flexible people who adjusted with his lawless music score.

The teen was feeling happy that he was able to finally get to the competition without so much problem. He was so happy that he was starting to get afraid of it.

"Ah...what are you thinking about, me?" Misaki mumbled as he was drying his hands with the automatic dryer on the wall. The heat somehow instense than usual perhaps because of his blood rushing like crazy in his every veins.

_You have a call! Shing Shing! A call!_

The teen looked at his pocket. "Ah...wait...my hands are still wet..."

Frantically getting a paper towel instead, Misaki dried his hands fast and took his phone out of his pocket. He thought he'd have to turn it off later before entering the music hall.

Just as he was about to answer, the call has been dropped. "Eh?"

Heart almost at his throat, Misaki almost climbed the tiled walls when his phone rang once again with an unfamiliar number.

"Hello? Who's this?" he asked right away. Having a faint hope that it might be Usami Akihiko.

_"Misa-niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"_ the voice of a familiar young girl squeeled. Misaki had to move his phone away from his ears.

"Eh?" Misaki exclaimed in surprise wondering how the girl got his phone number. "S-Sora-chan?"

_"Misa-nii I miss youuuuuuuu!_" the girl muttered excitedly. _"I can call you now on my own ne?"_

Misaki laughed, realizing that he indeed miss the young girl too. "That's very nice Sora-chan, but did you ask permission?"

_"Hmmm..."_ Misaki could hear hesitation._ 'No..."_

"Aww...Sora-chan..."

_"I know! I know...I just wanted to try calling you Misa-nii..."_

Understanding that Sora was just a sweet child, Misaki sighed.

_"Misa-nii...you remember Aki-chan?"_

"'Aki-chan'"? Misaki repeated ransacking his brain. That nickname was familiar. And then as if smacked on the head at the flashback in Teito Hotel. How the young, cute girl addressed his lover Usami Akihiko, his Usagi-san as Aki-chan, Misaki held the on to the wall.

_Aki-chan? Usami Akihiko...?_

_"He's going away..."_ the soft voice of the girl filled not just Misaki's ears but his entire being. It was poking a hole in his entirety.

"A-away? Sora-chan what do you mean?" Misaki asked as he watched himself through the mirror lose his color. The echo inside the washroom was too clear for him to get it wrongly.

He asked and asked while feeling his already beating wildly hard still pick up pace. However, Misaki's yelling was futile. It was only a voice of a mature woman he could hear and not long after that, the call ended.

"No...what does that mean?" With clumsy fingers, eyes as if going dilated, Misaki redialled the number but was only met with a voice message prompt.

_What do you mean Usagi-san is going away?_ Misaki's hands fell on his side. His eyes on the floor._ What about the Sonate? He said...he said he'd watch me..._

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

hi everyone i really needed to put proper closure to Ijuuin...hahaha..hope you liked this chappy...so it's on now! Finally..hehe

THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS AND SUPPORT.^^

-shuusetsu

btw...if you haven't watched Nodame Cantabile yet...please do so. the satisfaction i get doesn't decrease no matter how many times i watch it. the live version is just a gem.^^


	31. The 36th

hello minna! sorry for the delay^^ muahaha..but still i appreciate all your time and kind words! HERE WE GO!^^

* * *

** • • • • • • • • • • • • **

**The 36th**

** • • • • • • **

A small laugh escaped Misaki's lips. He laughed without humor. It echoed through the tiled walls laughing back at him. And when he stopped, the laughter stopped. It was replaced by silence. Silence everywhere and he hated it.

The silence was making him think. He wasn't used to thinking things that much. But the silence was forcing him to.

It was the kind of silence that slices through one's being. It was defeaning and yet it was pulsating. A pure numbness that scatters all through out the body. It could render the brain halt all its functions. Stop all thinking in one blow. And in a matter of seconds route all thinking and decision from the mind to the heart.

_Don't joke with me..._

Misaki's shaking hand gripped his phone tighter. His wide eyes staring at the floor yet he could see nothing.

_Don't freaking joke with me..._

Many people had come in and gone out of the washroom, all of them oblivious to Misaki. The shock was so much it was as if Misaki had gone to denying it. The teen had been waiting for this moment. Everything he had done was not just for him. But for Usagi-san as well. And yet what was that?

_He's going away? What a freaking joke._

He knew no one was going to answer. But Misaki's sweaty hand still dialled Usami Akihiko's number. The waiting was torture. And it was those times that one could wish they could kill the cold voice promt that didn't care at all.

_This number is currently not in serv..._

Misaki looked at his reflection through the mirror. Watch his once excited face turn to something no one could even paint.

_You promised..._

This number is currently...

_You promised me damn you Usagi!_

It was a situation Misaki didn't have one least bit of control of. Everything was swirling nonsense. As he took weak steps out of the comfort room, the teen remained looking down. It was as if the battle hadn't even started yet and Misaki was already the defeated one.

He walked through the sea of elite people. He walked under the blinding lights of cameras flashing. The glimmering bulbs above him were making his head ache.

He walked and walked until he reached the main entrance of the hall where the competition would be held. Flowers everywhere to greet the viewers. Huge cameras recording everything going on. People having these excited glees on their faces that Misaki couldn't understand.

He stared at the welcome banner looking like a lost child. He could clearly read it, and yet the ability to understand what, and why he was there disappeared. The once beautiful event had turned bleak in Misaki's eyes.

_Why?_

He stood there like time stopped. And no one gave a damn as to why a young man was crying while looking up the huge letterings of Sonate.

_The Sonate Music Competition is about to start within 15 minutes._ A faceless voice rang through out the entire building. The hidden speakers releasing a sweet yet professional voice._ Please enter the hall and take your seats._

In a matter of minutes, Misaki saw himself in the middle of glamorous people holding the competition's phamphlets. They were all going in the hall, and yet Misaki found his feet stepping backwards. Trembling small steps away from everyone.

_What's the point?_

All sense had left the competitor number 36 as the teen started rushing out of the floor. Running like the wind out of Ishikawa Ongakudo while ignoring the violent vibrating of his phone. Flying and cutting through the sea of people that had gathered outside the very building, Misaki looked forward without seeing anything. It was as if all obstacles had been set before him. Not wanting him to go any further. And yet, Misaki pushed through.

Takahashi Misaki was trudging on a thin thread, and he was about to fall.

* * *

"Oh...wow, this seat is awesome..." Io whispered to himself after taking his seat.

The teen who didn't dare remove his sunglasses gaped at the stage so near to him as if he could reach it. He didn't know if it was heaven's doing but being seated in the best place possible was going on smoothly with what he had in mind. Lips curling into a satisfied smile, he sighed.

"First floor, 8th Row, Seat 19," Io muttered. "This is better than the one I have. I wonder what would Takahashi do?"

The rustle of coats and the movements of people taking their reserved seats filled Io's ears. The suspence in him was building up he couldn't wait. The faint lightings that allowed people to move freely even added to the excitement Io was feeling. He was thinking something was coming and coming and he had to be there. He was sure of it.

"Oh hello there?"

Io looked to his right and saw an on old lady smiling at him. She was wearing an intricate kimono that sparkled. To Io, this woman must be some CEO's wife. The row where he was sitting was for VIPs.

The cool and smooth Io bowed and smiled at the woman. No one could make him nervous, be it the Queen herself he was facing.

"Good day," Io responded politely. Such a great actor he was.

"This year's Sonate gives off an intense feel don't you think?"

"Yes. Indeed."

The woman gazed at the still dimly lit and empty stage. Her old eyes reflected a glimmer of grace and wisdom. And in silence as they waited for the official start, Io found himself gawking at the newly seated person on his other side.

"You still don't know where he is?" Ijuuin hissed to his phone. "That idiot..."

Io glared as hard as he could but it wasn't of any effect to the older man given that both of them were hiding their faces behind the glasses. The thing that was irritating Io was the fact that talking on the phone wasn't allowed in the music halls. And yet his seat mate was sighing, cursing and muttering under his breath it was breaking Io's peace.

"Excuse me. But don't you have any manners?" Io cut in with a stern voice. "Take your call outside."

"Alright, I'll be here to take control of things, you wait for that idiot and inform me," Ijuuin continued as if he heard nothing. "Fuji, don't forget to inform me, understood?"

"Oi!"

Ijuuin put his phone down and stared at Io for a long while. He was irritated and mad his representative suddenly disappeared and he had more things to think about and the last thing he wanted was a nagging boy who looked like some clown.

"Such an ungrateful brat."

"Ha?"

"You're using MY ticket so shut up and put up with me."

"What the hell..."

Not recognizing the person who gave him his ticket, Io cursed himself for not realizing that there was a huge chance that the ticket was next to the seat the person would take. It suddenly became the worst seat but he couldn't leave it. It was the perfect place to be. It didn't help that no one was sitting beside Ijuuin. Apparently it should be Fuji's but the way things had gone, the secretary had to wait for Misaki outside. And so, feeling a little stupid and a bit of awkward, Io forced his gaze at the stage. Ignoring the frantic movements of Ijuuin's fingers as he typed a message on his phone.

* * *

The sounds of firecrackers flying into the sky snaked its way all around the area. Next thing, it was the cheery voices of the people outside who were all hyped at the official start of the music competition as the pink smoke started tainting the clear sky. Full of colors, excitement and joy all around and Misaki didn't even look back as he made his way farther and farther from the venue.

The only sound Misaki could hear was the rattle of the train as it made its way back to Shinjuku, Tokyo. He chewed on his lip. His hand feeling the continuous vibrating of his phone. When he looked up at the black speaker at the upper corner of the train, Misaki started to realize how far he was already.

"The 68th Sonate Music Competition has started! Everyone outside the building is all in a hush now! After the judges had been introduced, the first competitor is already set!"

Misaki looked around him. It appeared that all the other passengers were all ears as well to the ongoing broadcast. He should be there. He should be there preparing his mind and soul and yet there he was in a bullet train back to Shinjuku for a reason he didn't know himself.

_What am I doing?_

Smiling to himself, of all the things he should think of, the only thing that he could see was an empty, dull stage.

Buildings, recidencial apartments and condominiums, highways, bridges, houses; they all passed Misaki's eyes as if calling the teen's attention. He just simply heard Usagi-san going away. He didn't have any idea what 'going away' meant. Going to another prefecture? Going to another province? Going to another country?

_I'm really stupid..._

As the train continued to rush back to where Misaki wanted to be, the 18th competitor was already done.

Stepping out of the train, his hair messy from all the running, Misaki paused and gazed at the electronic billboard showing a luxurious music hall giving a standing ovation to Sagao Aiko's representative. He was dazzling and looked like from a royal family that stepped out from a magazine. He had all the grace in a tuxedo and the confidence flowing everywhere. After a breath taking bow, the hall grew silent once more. The 20th competitor was done.

Where was Misaki going? Where did he intend to go? And what he would get from leaving the competition was something the one in question doesn't know either. At that time, like an empty shell, there was only one thing Misaki wanted to know. Something he wanted to see. It was the most stupid thing anyone could have done. But no one would be able to understand how painful it was to search and search without knowing. It was the rush of blood to a senseless brain that moves according to the plea and call of the senseless heart.

_He's never going anywhere...no._

For a teen who didn't do much of exercising, Misaki was running like a bullet. Past all the people, to the condominium that served as his home for a couple of days. The place where he had given everything up to Usami Akihiko. The place they shared promise to the Sonate, to the future and to all nonsense things there could be.

People looked at him but was too engrossed listening or watching the Sonate through their phones or laptop to give a thought to Misaki. If only they knew that one of the competitor was there looking like a haggard runner, swimming in his own sweat despite the chill, they would have laughed.

Ears buzzing, Misaki gulped at the sight of that familiar gray door before him. It was getting bigger every passing second. He wanted to see that place and yet when he was already in front of it, he couldn't bring himself to knock or open the door.

_He must be in the music hall watching already, right?_ Misaki told himself. Consoled himself._ But why did I rush here?_

When he placed his hand on the cold metal, trying to remember the code to the automatic lock of the door, the door opened on its own.

* * *

His shoes were menacingly clicking against the cold pavement. His lips pursed into a thin line. His eyes blazing in a chilly glare behind the soft silver strands. And when he kicked open the door, Riki-san's jaw dropped to the ground, together with two other rookie journalists who had their noses stuck in front of their laptops.

LSRs on top of a long table, newspapers scattered everywhere, hard and soft copies of the pictures that caused Usami Akihiko his privacy and many other things were screaming red handed.

"So it's you..." the tall man muttered in a dark voice. The whole brightly lit room in an upscale apartment suddenly looked like it was sapped of all its light. The shoes echoing as Usami took his slow, huge steps had rendered everyone in the room speechless.

"Damn the time it took the hackers to get into where the point of origin of every fucking photos are being uploaded..."

The door to where Usami Akihiko entered closed behind him with an eerie click. There was one mistake the man had done. He went alone.

* * *

Why...it's not locked...

It opened slowly. Painfully slow that looking at it was making Misaki nervous. It was like unveiling something unpleasant. And when he stepped in, he was welcomed by the coldest place he could have ever been in his life.

_Usagi-san..._

He whirled around. And there was nothing but empty walls.

He ran upstairs. And there was nothing but cold silence.

He had searched every room, corner and space but there was no sign that Usami Akihiko had even spent his life there. It was only hazy memories behind tears Misaki could see in that place.

_You liar...go die bakero..._

* * *

"God...I can't watch it!"

Takahiro looked from the laptop and at Arisaka-san sitting on his bed side and smiled. Misaki had sent Arisaka and Takahiro their tickets even though the teen knew his brother couldn't. And Arisaka didn't want to leave the older brother of Takahashi alone. So there was the two of them watching in anticipation, trying to contain themselves within the 16 inch laptop that gave them the whole view of how tight the competition was.

"Look, that 20th competitor is too much! And this 32th looked like she...I DON'T KNOW! ARE THEY HUMANS?" the man with curly long hair shouted, hitting the poor pillow on his lap.

Contrary to the jumpy and grumpy Arisaka, Takahiro watched every person with a calm face. He was just confident and already happy that his little brother would be one of those talented people. It was already an honor. Winning would be a great bonus though.

"Calm down...I'm sure Misaki got something up on his sleeves..." Takahiro muttered clapping his hands at the ending of the 33th competitor.

"Hey you stop clapping!" Arisaka grumbled. "Don't clap! Damn it!"

Takahiro chuckled and flipped through the booklet. "Oh...Arisaka...Misaki is the 36th...he's about to be on the stage..."

"What?! That soon?" Arisaka grunted. "This will really give me a heart attack..."

"It's a wise decision for you to stay here..."

"WHAT?"

"You're too loud, you'll interrupt the competition and they'll throw you out."

"SHUT-UP!"

Arisaka said he couldn't take it, but he kept his sharp eyes at the screen nonetheless.

The entire hospital seemed to also have halted as they waited for Takahashi Misaki. They all started rooting for the boy when they saw the listings of the competitors on TV and literally stared at their screens with mouths open. Too bad, their bet was still cooped up in some pent house of an exclusive condominium.

* * *

Green eyes stared at the ceiling. It was as if it was closing in on him and was about to crush him flat on the floor where he was laying.

The room spacious area that used to be the living room was strangely bright. Perhaps it was because of the curtains that used to tone it down. That time there was nothing but glass all around where the rays of the sun could enter. This was an ironic scene. It was damn bright, totally the opposite of what Misaki's mind was.

With slow movements, Misaki finally decided to look into his mails. With puffy eyes, and blurry vision he read Ijuuin Kyo's messages. All with a hint ot utter anger and worry.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? IT'S THE 26TH COMPETITOR NOW!"

Beep.

"GET YOUR ASS HERE TAKAHASHI MISAKI! THERE'S A 15 MINUTE BREAK! RUN!"

Beep.

"THE 34TH IS ALREADY ON STAGE!"

Closing his eyes, shunning himself from everything, Misaki bit his lower lip hard. He didn't want to cry anymore. He have had enough. To Misaki's tired mind, the comfort the cold floor was giving to his back was soothing he could lay there forever.

"ARE YOU BACKING OUT NOW?"

_It's all over.._.Misaki whispered._ It's too late...I don't want anymore...I'm so tired._

Misaki had always tried to be positive, had worked hard, had believed deeply. But he had sunk once again.

_I'll be disqualified. Usagi-san is not here anymore. The hall is too far...there's traffic...I'm so tired...it's over._

* * *

He was resting his back againts the cold walls. His lips bleeding. His dark coat tainted with something red. And yet he was smiling as he stared at the ceiling.

With shaking fingers, long fingers that were once slender now swollen, Usami Akihiko had sent a message before he passed out.

* * *

Misaki kept on hearing the beeping sounds of incoming messages to his phone. It was lying idly on his side.

_I was never the pessimistic type...what happened to me...I'm sorry to everyone that I will inconvenience..._

The phone vibrated once again. It was irritating that Misaki decided to shut his phone off. And yet the top message on the list was a number he didn't recognize.

Sitting from where he was laying, Misaki pressed the 'read' button. And he was sure he heard a pounding in his chest. He was so stupid and yet just when he had gone frozen, the crazy pounding inside his chest rattled every nerve in him.

Misaki was just too simple.

Io watched his seat mate leave his seat in a hurry. From the very start, the stranger looked so agitated the way he kept on staring at his phone every once in a while. And finally when the teen thought the man finally settled down, Ijuuin let out a deep sigh and went out the music hall.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!? THE 35TH IS ABOUT TO END!" the heated composer barked to his phone. Ijuuin had never yelled like that and yet he was so frustrated at Misaki. He exploded when he finally saw the teen calling him.

_"Ijuuin-san! I'm really sorry!"_ Ijuuin could hear the gush of wind. The deep panting of the teen. And the distant horns of the cars passing by wherever the teen was._ "I'm at Shinjuku. I'm coming! I'm on my way back there!"_

"WHAT?!" Ijuuin had to hold on to the wall for support. Misaki was practically on the other side of the planet.

_"I'm really sorry...I..."_

"STOP. I won't hear any of your excuses. Just tell me one thing," Ijuuin gritted his teeth. "Do you still intend to compete?"

There was laughter on the other side. Ijuuin could only interpret it as a laughter from Misaki at finally realizing his grave stupidity.

_"I do."_

Frowning and smiling at the same time, Ijuuin removed his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose._ Such a piece of work you are..._

"Alright. Do everything you can to get here soon. Don't think about anything and just fly here!"

_"Ha-hai!"_

* * *

_"Number 36 performing with Tokyo Orchestra..."_

"It's his turn! It's his turn!" Arisaka screamed while almost knocking off the laptop on its place.

"I know...I know!" Takahiro responded calmly though the booklet in his hand was shaking.

_"Number 36, the BlackMedley's representative, Takahashi Misaki to perform his own composition."_

A couple of suspenceful seconds passed.

"Eh...don't you think," Arisaka mumbled, eyes on the empty stage. "...he's kind of taking long?"

The whole music hall was hushed. It was as if no one was breathing. With every performances, every one in the boxes had paid utter attention and respect. Listening to the pieces no doubt everyone had so worked hard for. The people in the dimly lit hall from the upper boxes to the lowest, there eyes were all focused on the bright, stage. The spotlight many had wanted to stand on yet only few were given the chance.

They had seen the utmost talent of the 35 competitors so far and they were eager to be blown away by another passionate performance. And yet...

"Hey...what's going on?" a hushed voice of a woman broke the silence.

A wave of murmurs and conversations under deep breath filled the entire area in wonder of the 36th competitor who was not giving any sign of appearance on the spacious stage behind red and gold.

_"Takahashi Misaki-san...please take the stage."_

"Oi...oi...what the heck is that idiot doing?" Io asked himself as he darted his gaze around the box where he was. The whole place was a picture of curiosity.

_"The Sonate Music Competition will be taking a fifteen-minute-break. Thank you."_

And the buzz grew louder. The break wasn't a part of the program list.

* * *

"He's disqualified."

Ijuuin maintained his cool face before the judges of the competition who took their efforts and time to leave their cozy seats in the music hall and walk to the nearby empty room.

"Please...Takahashi Misaki is on his way. If we could just let him perform on a different slot..."

"Look..." an old strict woman cut in, pushing his red-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his pointy nose. "Not being on time is enough of a sign that Takashi-san is not taking the competition seriously."

Smiling still, Ijuuin bowed. Ijuuin had remained prideful in all his life despite having all his personal dilemmas. He never imagined in his life he would do such a thing. And yet e bowed deeply before the ten old people. The only way he thought that was left was begging.

"Please, he's on his way. Give him a chance. He's been looking forward to this."

An old man wearing a black Kimono raised a brow. "I agree with Hibara-san. Time is important in this competition. Many wanted to be in here, we already know that. But if he did want it, he should have been here way before the competition started. Don't you think?"

It earned a sickening nod from most of the judges. Ijuuin was starting to lose control. He could see himself thrashing before the old people. And yet he still tried to keep his cool.

"It wouldn't make any much of a difference in the competition. It's just that the next competitor would have to go on stage earlier..."

"Ijuuin-san..." the youngest of the judges started with a stern look. "You being as the BlackMedley know that doing that is a disrespect to the next competitor. I can't believe you can say such a thing. Even if the person concerned is your representative, we're all professionals here."

Ijuuin looked at them with sharp eyes despite the sinking feeling in his chest. Why are these old people so narrow minded?!

"There's nothing to talk about, is there?" Hibara-san muttered. "Let's all go back, this is an inconvenience to everyone..."

All the people outside waiting for what was about to happen had their own conclusions in their minds. The people outside the building even had a rumor going that number 36th collapsed due to nervousness. Or the said competitor had used some booster and was about to be disqualified. Or there was an under the table dealings how the competitor named Takahashi got in the competition in the first place without being from a music school.

"Wait." A weak voice of an old man called out just before the other judges made their way to the door. "I have something to say in this matter."

All eyes rested on the old man who was wearing a simple suit and tie. His warm smile gave Ijuuin a spark of small hope.

"As the Chief Judge, may I suggest Takahashi Misaki be the last one to perform?"

"But...Sir, this is totally against the laws!"

The old man smiled even wider. The same smile he gave Misaki during the official listings. "It's not that bad to be a little flexible sometimes," placing his thin hand with a lot of veins showing on his chest for a sign of sincerity, the old man bowed as well. And it made the rest of the people in the room motionless.

The Chief Judge, the person who was directly related by blood to the first people who started Sonate had bowed to them. There was no way that one of the strongest person in Sonate and the president of some oil company could be over looked.

"Just apologize to number 37 and get on with in. Discussing such an easy matter like this is the thing that's making us waste precious time," he continued. "That's what I think."

Bowing again, Ijuuin faced the old man with an appreciating look.

"Well?" the old man asked, still his smile plastered on his face.

* * *

With a curious look, Io looked up when he noticed his missing seat mate come back from somewhere he had no idea about. When Io darted his gaze upwards, it was the first time he saw Ijuuin's face without the darkglasses covering most of the man's face. Despite the darkness around, the teen didn't fail to notice the sly smile on the face.

_"What's this...he's giving off the same aura as..._" Io thought to himself. Lost at the awe by the stunning profile beside him.

Ijuuin must have noticed the one beside him staring at him. He was such in a good mood that he smiled even wider at Io before looking back at the empty stage.

For a moment, Io thought his mind turned blank.

_"What the hell is this creep smiling about?_" the teen frowned before looking ahead of him.

_"The Sonate Competition is about to resume. Please come back to your seats. Due to some technical matters, number 36 Takahashi Misaki-san is to perform last. The rest of the program will remain as it is. Thank you."_

* * *

Bumping to people, almost getting hit by a running bicycle, Misaki ran as fast as he could back to the train station. He was always filled with doubts and he could be swayed very easily by external matters. But this time, lie or not he had decided. He'd purely trust his Usagi-san whatever what might happen. Ignore what Sora-chan said. Ignore the empty flat. Ignore all the negative thoughts that had led him to the stupid situation he was in.

If Usami Akihiko breaks their promise, he would'nt do the same. He would compete and make every people who were praying for him proud.

And lastly, cling to the message the man had sent to Misaki. Something the teen didn't know was typed with blood.

"I'll watch you Misaki."

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

THANK YOU! UWAH...FEELS LIKE IT'S BEEN A WHILE! MUAHAHAHAHA! i'M happy with all your support!^^ thanks for being with me!^^ sniff* i am so dramatic today...gyahahahaha!

_-shuusetsu_

please don't be confused...Misaki is still in Tokyo! hahaha...Shinjuku is a special ward of Tokyo so don't be confused. and also i forgot to add this to the previous chap but_ Music Conducto_r and_ Concert Master_ are different from each other. The one that conducts and is responsible for harmonizing all the people and intruments is the Conductor and the ConcertMaster is a the lead of the violin section (the first) of the orchestra.^^

i rewatched Nodame Cantabile Live (for the 100000000th time...lol...that's why i messed up my sched...WWWWWWWWWWW)


	32. Pushed to the Limit

konnichi wa! gomen for the late update this time. i hope you'll like it.^^ HERE WE GOOOOOO!

* * *

***:・*****:・*****:・****Pushed to the Limit・****:*:・****:*:・****:*:**

* * *

"Haha-" Riki nervously laughed, standing from his seat too small for him. "Look who we have here...if it's not the phedo..."

Front teeth scattered on the floor. Eyes wide in horror, the two other journalists stared at the rolling teeth that went under the table.

Usami Akihiko had just punched Riki so strong it wasn't enough to convey his wrath. He wanted to make a pulp out of him . He wanted him broken that he would never be able to stand.

Blood gushing out of the big man, Usami Akihiko took his steps to the rookies still in shock.

"I dare you now. Post even a shadow of this boy's face," he threw a glance at the nearest photo to him on the table.

Usami was going to say something more but the photo rendered him in utter loss for words. He wanted to cry so suddenly and kill everyone in the room. Even him, didn't know that the teen he was crazy about was doing that.

On the day Misaki was about to be released from the hospital, it showed that while he was signing all the necessary documents, Takahashi Misaki was looking at his direction with a smile. An innocent smile that he sure can remember turned to a scowl when he looked back.

He had never gone out of control. And yet, the calm and composed man started gathering all the cameras and smashing them on the floor while panting like an insane animal.

" Did you know how many times I have to endure making him cry because you pieces of shit can't do anything worthwhile?!

One of the journalists, a girl started crying. Her burst made the composer more irritated than ever.

"Ri-riki-san said he'd let us in Zone if we do anything he likes...we know this is bad...but I've been a graduate for so long and I still couldn't get a job..."

"Che..." the piece of fat started as he tried to steady himself back to his feet. "What's there to be afraid. We all have these photos with us...who would believe this phedo? And this damn Takahashi he feels he can leave the gutter after all the things I've done for him?"

Usami Akihiko turned his gaze that can kill at Riki. "Things you've done?" the man muttered with pure sarcasm. "You haven't done anything for him..."

"I gave him a job, I gave him money to support his useless brother..."

The remaining sensible part in Usami snapped. And right before the two rookie journalists, they saw how a king turned into a raging beast.

Riki had been receiving strong blows everywhere. He could only grunt in pain. He slumped on top of the table running after his breath, his face red and swollen. His small eyes turned into slits of anger and his hands crept towards the SLR camera near him. Faking that he had gone to unconsciousness, he waited. He waited for Usami Akihiko stand behind him.

And Riki smashed the camera against the composer's head. It hit with a sickening thud before the equipment crashed into pieces on the floor.

Something hot started trickling down from Usami's forehead down to his cheek. The spotless white dress shirt underneath his dark coat tainted with red.

The girl screamed. The other young man fell on the floor watching in horror. Riki, laughing like a maniac.

"See? See?" The big man sneered. "You're nothing. You just sealed your ticket to ruin! HA!"

They all waited for the silverhaired man to topple senseless on the cold floor. He was wobbly on his feet and he had his hand on his forehead. There was no cry or sound that escaped Usami Akihiko which just intensified the feeling of pain inside the room.

"I can ruin you with this. I have a lot of your dirt you homosexual pedophile. You and that ingrate kid could suffer in hell!"

A chilly laughter filled the space they were. It echoed through out the four corners of the room. It came from bloody Usami Akihiko.

"Dirt?" He asked as he raised his eyes glinting with menace. The blood on his face only added to the scary, lopsided smile etched on his handsome face. "If it's dirt you're talking about. I have every single one of YOURS..."

Before anyone could process what they just heard, a blinding flash rendered them motionless. And when Riki and the two journalists opened their eyes, people in civilian clothes were already inside. Guns pointed at them.

"Hirose Riki, you're under arrest for tax evasion and illegal recruitment, physical abuse and a long list of other crimes..."

"Wha-what..."

It was the feeling of slowly falling into a peaceful abyss taking over as he slid down the wall to the floor. It was pulling him deeper and deeper and he did nothing to struggle. Everything around him was a blur of white and blue. And the deeper he went, the more he didn't want to wake up.

Starting from the day the destructive scandal exploded, Usami Akihiko had been losing enough sleep. It was a miracle he was able to push through and create havoc. And the stress of always worrying whether he would see Misaki's face on the news or the internet had caused him great stress over the past few days.

Being able to see the master mind be dragged by the police was the greatest release.

The world began swirling while he forced himself typing a message in his phone with blood soaked hands. Blood from Riki and his combined.

"I'll watch you Misaki."

He typed it without thinking. It was more of a motion by reflex than his aching head. Not even seeing if it was successfully sent, his whole world turned blank.

* * *

The journey away from Ishikawa Ongakudo was a breeze. It didn't even feel like it took time. But now that Misaki was trying all his best to get back to the venue, time seemed to have become his enemy. The ticking of the seconds hand seemed to fly by in an instant, all the while the bullet train he was on felt like it was not a bullet train at all. It felt like he could go faster if he ran. But of course that was just his imagination.

_Faster...faster..._

Misaki's gaze was unfocused. He looked to his left and right. To his feet and up the ceiling. His foot kept on tapping, his fingers kept on fidgeting on his side. He tried to gulp to ease his tension, but his whole mouth was so dry it was so rough.

"Ah...I bet Sagao Aiko's representative will win ne?" a high school girl whose skirt was shorter than it should be giggled with her boyfriend.

The tall darkhaired high schooler guy looked at Misaki for a while. But it didn't last. It was just a meaningless stare before the guy looked up at the speakers broadcasting the ongoing Sonate.

"I was really hoping Usami was still there, what with all the shitty scandals..." he grumbled.

The girl chuckled. "Ah...well you're second favorite is still there babe so don't sulk..."

Finally deciding to remove the sticky coat on him, Misaki darted his gaze outside the windows. Misaki was surprised to see that the day was about to end so soon. The blur of buildings passed by Misaki's eyes with hints of orange accompanied by the occasional reds and browns of nature.

The teen looked at his phone. He was expecting a reply after the message he sent back to his Usagi-san but he didn't get any. Deciding not to push his luck, Misaki just closed his eyes and rest his tired mind and body. His ears on guard at every rustle and sound inside the trains regarding Sonate.

_Ijuuin-san said not to think of anything...don't worry. Just...clear your mind. Clear it..._

Tiredness perhaps, but Misaki felt his back sliding down and his eyes so heavy they were on the verge of shutting.

_I can't sleep...I might miss my stop..._

But his eyes closed and his breathing eventually calmed. He was on his way to a deep sleep when he was pulled back by a sharp scratching sound. And everyone in the trains shouted or shrieked in surprise as all were pulled by the momentum.

"Aww, what the hell?!"

"Don't push too much!"

Massaging the side of his head that hit the vertical pole beside him, Misaki grunted. "What..." he could feel the tightening in his stomach feeling everything around him as if it was pausing. _"Don't tell me..."_

Everyone as if hypnotized looked up at the speakers. The broadcast of Sonate was cut off and instead replaced by a male, monotonous voice.

"The train will be having a short halt. Sorry for the inconvenience."

Misaki could only stare at the small black speaker in his vision as if what he heard was a joke. Or fate's bullying.

* * *

When he opened his lavender orbs, what he saw was moving structures and trees. Then he realized that it wasn't the things moving but them. Him in the car, together with his old right-hand man.

He closed his eyes once more before focusing on the faint throbbing pain on the side of his head. Raising the tip of his fingers to his silver locks, he felt a foreign feeling. A soft gauze against his skin.

"Argh..."

"Usami-sama? How are you feeling?"

It was as if his brain was refusing to work at the usual speed but hearing the voice, he darted his eyes at the man beside him and felt fine.

"Please don't do anything reckless in the future Usami-sama. I'm glad I followed you..."

Smiling while his eyes were still closed, Usami Akihiko sighed. He rested the back of his head on the headrest and felt better. He couldn't imagine how lame it was to be hit by a camera on the head and he will surely keep that sealed in his lips for the rest of his life.

"I was expecting you would," Usami mumbled. "Thank you Orihara-san for cleaning up."

After finally adjusting to the faint pain and the little nausea, the composer pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw mails from Orihara-san and Ogawa-san. All with the same subject:_ You're late for your flight._

They passed an electronic billboard. Usami noticed the people that had gathered below to watch the broadcast. He didn't feel giddy or anything when he was the one joining the competition ten years ago. It was a mere competition to finally get out of the house and stand on his own two feet. And yet, his heart was drumming violently inside his chest, despite not being in the competition himself knowing that someone dear to him was there.

He ignored all the messages from his music consultants and only focused on the one mail that knocked out his breath.

_"BAKA!"_

He scrolled down the mail but there was nothing else to read. It was just that simple 'idiot' word on his screen from Misaki but it made him laugh. Orihara-san had to steal a glance to his master who started giggling out of nowhere.

They made a left turn. And took a route that Usami AKihiko knew very well. It was common sense for any person to bring an injured person to a hospital. But the old man driving was clearly going somewhere else.

Grinning approvingly, Usami Akihiko stared at the orange sky. "You really know me well, Orihara-san."

* * *

_"Here I am. This is me._  
_There's nowhere else on Earth I'd rather be..._  
_Here I am. Just me and you._  
_Tonight we'll make our dreams come true..._"*(1)

"Look, Arisaka-san..." Takahiro called out at the seriously pissed man by his doorway. "This one is quiet good too."

"Huh?" Arisaka raised a brow. "Aren't you the least bit worried why that shrimp turned to be the last?"

Smiling calmly, Takahiro just watched at the laptop as if he could see them. "I am worried too. But, there's nothing I could do but to wait for him...right?"

Sighing while sitting back on his throne beside Takahiro, Arisaka started picking on his nose. Well, what was there to be embarassed about? Takahiro couldn't see him and it was not like he was reaching for something. He was just dead nervous he wouldn't probably be able to watch Misaki on that overwhelming stage with dazzling lights everywhere.

He wasn't being negative but he was just being realistic.

"Being the last one to perform after all 59 competitors, the judges and the people would be tired by then," Arisakai thought to himself. "No matter how eager they were at the beginning, there's a huge possibility of them getting biased. Not to mention he had to shoulder all the 59 finished performances. He's even just an amateur..."

"Hey, what number is the next?" Arisaka asked not looking at Takahiro.

"Oh, Number 52."

* * *

If Misaki could only break open the glass windows that were shock proof, Misaki would have done so. He could feel his tears on his eyes on the verge of shamefully dripping down his dirty cheeks. He was shaking so bad from irritation and all other stuff but most of all, due to his stupidity.

His hands clenched his dishevelled white long sleeves. It was full of creases and some dirt and the wetness from his sweat dried on it. He was so not presentable. On top of that, just when they were so near to the station he was headed, the train just had to take an emergency halt.

"Why does these kind of things always happen to me?" He half cried, half hissed while his eyes were focused on the black speakers. The number he heard didn't make him any happier.

"Ne, ne...the Number 36th that got changed into the last," Misaki heard not far from him. "I haven't heard him yet but I don't like him already."

Misaki felt chills on his body. It was always so strange to hear himself being talked about. What's more, it didn't sound good.

"Eh why?" another voice chimed in. "Could be some technical reasons..."

"He might be late or something. That's the common issue with competitions like this. He's getting special treatment if that's the case..."

As if the conversation of the two girls was a contagious disease, the murmurs of the people inside the trains, the old and the young focused on the 36th competitor. And Misaki watched in horror as the public started making a rumor of their own.

It was quiet a blow to the teen. He could feel the sinking feeling in his chest little by little. It was not like what the girl said, whoever she was wasn't true. In fact, what she said was right.

Trying to focus his ears towards the ongoing performance, totally shunning the low whispers around him, Misaki bit his bottom lip. He wouldn't let this kind of thing bother him anymore. He couldn't even tell how many minutes or hours he'd been travelling. The important thing at hand was how to get to the Hall within less than twenty minutes.

Misaki swallowed the lump in his throat when the train started moving once again. He swore he'd totally go to a shrine and bow a hundred times after everything was over. He sniffed and wiped the hotness at the corners of his eyes with his equally dirty hand as he watched the world around him move once more.

A sigh of relief and a soundless 'thank you' escaped his dry lips.

* * *

"Tsk..."

Io glared towards the stage. Irritated at how everytime his male seatmate leaves his seat, the man manages to always hit his foot or something. The lights of the phone was distracting him. And the constant rustle of the long coat Ijuuin was wearing was already getting on the teen's nerves.

Wanting to vent out his anger, he turned to the lady on his other side.

"Madam, do you think we can do something about the man beside me?"

The hall was again in a hush as they waited for the 53rd competitor. The audience could hear a piano being tuned as the next performer would be using it and they were checking for any possible thing that could go wrong.

The old woman turned her head towards Io without even moving her body. In any situation Io would be creeped out by it. But the woman was just too graceful Io found it stunning despite the lady being old.

"What do you mean?"

Io started to frown. "Because he kept on looking at his phone even when it's not allowed," he muttered under his breath, total irritation was clear. "He also keeps on leaving in the middle of performances, he's distracting not just me but I guess the others as well..."

The woman tucked her white hair behind her ear adorned by a huge pearl. "Oh...I thought since you are sitting beside him and he even smiled at you, I thought you are friends..."

_Friends?_! Io's inner self shrieked in annoyance. _There's no way on Earth I could be friends with that!_

There was no clear foundation why Io felt so annoyed at Ijuuin. The distractions in the hall might be a reason. The arrogant way of Ijuuin giving his ticket to him could be it. Or simply the man's presence was annoying the hell out of him he couldn't contain it.

Or perhaps, unconsciously Io was hating the fact that he could sense the man beside him as having utter want to be at the top. Just like how a thief hates another thief.

"Well, dear I ask of you in behalf of him, just give him more patience..." the woman muttered with an understanding smile despite the dimness.

"I don't understand..."

"I think you're a smart kid and you're trustworthy enough so it's fine to tell you I guess," she narrowed her eyes. "The man beside you is the 'BlackMedley."

Io just stared at the woman.

"And you perhaps already know that the number 36 is the BlackMedley's representative so he must be very worried. It's been a while since he showed face here in Sonate. And this happened."

It looked dumb. But the rattling teen only managed to say "oh" in the end.

* * *

When Misaki arrived, the 59th just started.

The hardships he had to go through not just after flying out the train couldn't be compared to the thing he had to go through pushing his way into the barricades of people. They were all over and around the Ishikawa Ongakudo that even the main exits and entrances were so hard to reach.

Misaki would have collapsed and fell flat on his face if Ijuuin Kyo hadn't been waiting for him at the entrance and didn't predict that Misaki would totally go down the floor after pushing through such a hot and crowded place.

Totally limp on Ijuuin's arms, Misaki raised an apologetic smile at his 'sensei' for all the troubles he had caused.

"Ijuuin-san...I'm sor-"

"Shut up. Save your breath."

the teen obviously got hurt by the cold treatment Misaki just fell silent as he let Ijuuin pull him towards wherever.

_I can't blame him. I'm an utter selfish person who didn't think about the outcome of my actions..._

On the way, Fuji came dashing to them with a bag. Misaki roamed his eyes around and realized that he was already just outside the dressing room. The hallway empty. And the reverberating sad song of the competitor before him was filling the air.

Ijuuin pulled Misaki inside and pushed the teen on the nearby chair.

"Listen Misaki, you cannot be late anymore so you have to act quick. Don't talk and catch your breath."

Fuji and Ijuuin let Misaki change into a fresh white polo. Like an older brother, it was Ijuuin who wiped Misaki's face frantically yet gently with baby wipes.

Brushing Misaki's hair with his fingers, Ijuuin frowned. "I don't want a student like you."

"I-I'm sorry..." the teen answered looking down.

"Don't lower your gaze, Takahashi," Ijuuin ordered, his voice strict. "What I mean by that is a student like you, would definitely give me wrinkles at an early age..."

_He's not mad at me? He's..._

"From then on it's all on you Takahashi okay? The orchestra, apologize to them, and then..." the older man placed his hand on top of Misaki's hair and smiled genuinely. "Enjoy the moment."

* * *

Thump. Thump. Thump.

If the heart could leapt out any moment from the ribs that caged it, Misaki's would have been already on the floor. He was at the back stage. Looking at the straight back of a young man with a red hair. The drums banging in the background, intensifying the already wild heart beat in Misaki.

Misaki started to run his wide, green eyes in search of one person.

_"Everything is dark  
It's more than you can take  
But you catch a glimpse of sun light  
Shining, shining down on your face  
On your face  
(On your face)"_

_Where...where..._Misaki searched the hall with his eyes no matter how futile it was.

It was impossible to see Usami AKihihiko even if he was already there. The place was dimly lit. The upper boxes would be too far. And the the lower boxes was just a blur of faces to Misaki.

_"Oh, you're in my veins  
And I cannot get you out  
Oh, you're all I taste  
At night inside of my mouth  
Oh, you run away  
'Cause I am not what you found  
Oh, you're in my veins  
And I cannot get you out" *(2)_

The song echoed in the hall, while the teen kept on searching for one person.

The hall erupted into a mind blowing claps of apprecitaion. The man, bowed, turned and slowly took prideful steps towards Misaki.

"Good luck," he greeted, but there was a snide remark Misaki couldn't explain.

_"Number 36th, BlackMedley's representative Takahashi Misaki, to perform his composition..."_ the hall became a place of utter silence. Not a single voice or sound was there, except the chilly continuation of the official emcee. _"Please take the stage."_

Contrary to what Arisaka was thinking, due to the fact the Misaki was the first time breaker of the Sonate Rules, the teen had strummed everyone's interest and attention. They were all eager to see the kid who hadn't been in a music school, representing a pillar of Sonate, had the guts to mess the program's order, see how good or bad he was. However, to be honest, most of the people there were keen on looking out for mistakes.

Misaki's brother and close friends, his acquantances stared in their televisions in silence. They wanted to look away and not watch anymore but they were still pulled and glued on their seats.

The Zone stopped working, just that time when it was already Misaki's turn. Not having the least bit of idea that Misaki would reach something as prestigious as Sonate. They weren't the best pals in the world. They had always treated the kid as someone to make run errands. They weren't bad to him, but they weren't good enough as well. Somehow, watching, praying, and experiencing the knawing nervousness in their chest was their kind of saving themselves.

Misaki's second home, Takahiro's hospital had seemed to be having their own heart problems no medicine or doctor could cure. The only thing that could quench the killing tension was to finally see Misaki done with it. Good or bad, whatever it would be, their Misaki who always greeted them, played with the kid patients was already a winner.

Io looked up once more when Ijuuin finally came back with a total poker face. The man was an obvious nervous wreck who was trying to supress any hint of worry for his onesided love and student Takahashi Misaki. Ijuuin raised his fingers and lightly ran them down on his face accompanied with a little sigh. Io could interpret it a sigh of relief.

"Mister, are you tired?" Io asked suddenly in a hushed voice Ijuuin had to look at the teen with a funny face.

"The ticket, I'll soon return the favor."

Ijuuin raised a brow at the bee-like kid beside him. Io still had his glasses plastered on his face and the only thing Ijuuin could see was the smile on the face that seemed like the kid was about to do something outrageous.

"No need," Ijuuin answered shortly.

"Well, accept the kindness from strangers," Io fired back what Ijuuin had said a while ago. "Besides, I have my own motives..." the teen mumbled, though Ijuuin didn't hear it clearly.

The sound of shoes taking over the steps filled the room. Tension floating everywhere. And Misaki stared with his eyes almost teary at the sight of the persons in the orchestra taking their seats on the stage. Once everyone was settled, the conductor and the concertmaster tapped Misaki on the shoulder. The teen must have forgotten that this time, he wasn't the one watching. He would be the one being watched.

"Good luck," both of the older men cheered Misaki before walking past the teen to take their own spots on the stage.

With the loud sound of the thumping of his heart in his head, Misaki was the last to take the middle of the stage. The orchestra behind him waiting for the cue of the concertmaster and conductor.

It was so strong. The kind of tune that blocks out all thinking. When Misaki grabbed tight the microphone stand to support himself as well, the sweat that he didn't even notice form on his forehead dripped down the side of his face to his chin towards the polished stage.

* * *

The teen deciding to stand on his own in this battle he chose for himself, Misaki started to sing.

* * *

He hasn't even finished the first verse when one of the judges stood and put everything to a halt.

The buzz inside the hall, the hissing sounds of people outside the building itself was like a disease eating away at Misaki's confidence.

_Why? What did I do wrong?_

The teen looked at his back, to the people of the orchestra but they equally had the same dumbfounded exopressions. The nearest person he as his support was on the VIP box, looking off guard as well. What the hell was going?

All eyes focused on Hibari-san, the woman who was so eager to disqualify the teen but wasn't able to. Now she found another whole new reason to stand on Ijuuin's and poor Misaki's way.

"Sorry everyone," the highpitched voice started that silenced not just the hall but the entire nation who was feasting on the number 36th's situation. "I would just like to ask Takahashi Misaki-san a question."

Misaki could feel bile creeping its way up in his throat.

_Why does everything turns against me...? What did I do?"_

The projectors outside synchronized with the ones inside the hall flashed flooding comments in the Sonate's site. Just a couple of words from the song Misaki uttered, and hundreds of watchers went into a frenzy.

Misaki felt his knees about to give out as he watched the flashing comments on the huge screens on the side. Ijuuin had his mouth open. He hadn't expected and predicted something like this would happen.

Io stared at Ijuuin who had his hand over his mouth. "Why did I overlook such an important matter? Damn it..."

The sleeping LCD screens at the side of the stage came alive. There on the screen were flashing, glaring and screaming words that made Misaki's remaining strength melt away.

_"36 is copying Io's voice. That shouldn't be allowed."_

_"He's an immitator. Why allow someone like that in Sonate?"_

The teen stared at the flooding comments in disbelief.

Misaki's hand fell on his side, his head shaking in a silent 'no'.

_I...am not copying Io...no...that's not true..._

At the sudden realization of all the viewers at the exactness of Takahashi Misaki's and Io's voice, they started having doubt with number 36. Compared to a nameless competitor, the world is ready to take sides to Io who had already made his name. Behind dirty ways.

Arisaka-san punched the bed he was sitting, while Takahiro's tears started running down his cheeks. How worse could it get for his little brother?

"Takahashi Misaki-san, could you explain this to us? Are you a voice immitator? We don't allow that in here."

"No..." Misaki croaked, his fingers digging hard on the soft flesh of his palms. "I..."

Misaki wanted to say something, explain everything, but his tongue rolled back at the sight of curious eyes as if drilling holes in him.

Ijuuin grunted and was about to again leave his seat. He would have to explain everything now, but he know it wouldn't be an easy feat. It might solve the problem but it would taint the other party's name. Whoever the hell on earth Io was.

Before the man could even stand, Io giggled.

The man looked at Io for a while and noticed the teen's lips into a wide smile. Now it was Ijuuin's turn to think that the kid beside him was a creep. Slowly removing the darkglasses on his face with his slender fingers, Io turned to Ijuuin and grinned a happy one.

"Could you hold this for me?" The teen dropped his darkglasses on Ijuuin's lap before standing.

With the grace of someone trained at very tense environment, Io took the red carpetted steps in slow strides. Inside the hall, he was the only one who seemed to be enjoying every second of it.

Misaki's silence as he realized the figure coming towards the stage was deafening. It was the opposite of the buzzing noise outside the building with everyone almost recognizing that pretty face when the camera panned closer at Io's smile.

"Really?" one of the judges muttered massaging his temples in frustration. "What's going on with this year's Sonate?"

Uninvited, Io climbed the stage. Ijuuin glared at the scene. Misaki stared at Io with teary eyes. And the whole Japan watched in suspence how the last competitor would go.

"Hi Takahashi?" Io greeted at the frozen Misaki.

Misaki couldn't believe his eyes. Io was beside him, still the usual calm and dazzling person that he was. Misaki didn't know anymore what was happening. He was accused of immitating his own voice. It sounded so stupid, but Misaki felt he was being always pushed to the corners whenever he tried to move forward.

"I miss this spotlight..." Io sighed as the teen turned his gaze at the hushed audience.

"What are you doing...Io?" Misaki asked, his voice only a sound of breath.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

**Ahaha...thank you for your time and kind words^^ OKAY..OKAY..i am mean...HAHAHA..domo!**

-shuusetsu

songs:(disclaimer)

(1) Here I am - Bryan Adams

(2) In my Veins - Andrew Belle


	33. Cramped Stage

konnichi wa! Guests and readers...*sniff* **。・ﾟﾟ･****(≧д≦)*'**. thank you for the heart warming comments! i was all over the place so sorry for the wait..

* * *

**【【【 ****Cramped Stage 】】】**

* * *

Horns of impatient drivers blasted in all directions. The chill of the night, the darkness of the sky and the shimmering lights of buildings around and the cars in halt from an eagle's eye point of view looked like a never ending maze.

Usami Akihiko and his right-hand man already took an alternate route to reach Ishikawa Ongakudo. But it seemed like it wouldn't be that simple.

The more Usami stared at the small LCD screen attatched inside the car. The more he felt every single thread of his muscles tremble.

_"Misaki...hang on there..."_

_"This years Sonate has been labeled as the worst in history,"_ a voice narrated as the camera panned closer at the flood of irritated, frustrated and bashing audiences outside the building where the event was being held. _"First, Usami AKihiko losing his seat in Sonate and then allowing the breaking of the competition's order. When everyone thought it was over, something bigger came."_

It was sickening to see the live broadcast whirl before his sight before changing the scene from the outside to the scene itself inside. The lavender eyes watching in agony felt the seething anger scattering in his chest. The damned producers knew very well how to make things more dramatic. And more destructive.

_"And now we are in a plague of knowing what's going on behind Io's sudden appearance in this hall. Is it to claim Takahashi Misaki as a fraud? Io's fans are in hysteria right now."_

Misaki looked so small in the screen Usami was watching. But the teen looked even smaller at the electronic billboards broadcasting the huge event. A total confused look was painted on his red face. It only showed how nervous and lost he was. It only accentuated the flood of confidence the other green-eyed boy had.

_"According to Sonate rules, a competitor should by no means copy someone else's voice even if the person has that kind of talent. Doing so is a disqualification on the spot. Now, the huge question is Takahashi Misaki and Io, Japan's current most influencial pop icon, sound exactly the same. Not similar. EXACTLY."_

"Damn it..." Usami hissed hitting the window pane beside him.

_"NOw the major question is...who's copying who?"_

At the last question of the commentator, the camera changed scenes and showed a completely chaotic scene outside the building. Banners out of nowhere screaming "disqualify number 36", "we love Io", and all other hate messages.

"SHIT!" Arisaka shouted, throwing the pillow on the floor. He watched at the screen with fury. "What if that devil in disguise use another hocus pocus to make everyone go to his side!?"

He paced the small room of Takahiro with his brows in a very deep frown.

"Maybe I should call the Sonate and inform them of Io's secret?"

Takahiro closed his eyes.

"You might just complicate things, Arisaka-san."

"But!" the man countered. "Io is the god of impostors ad liars. He could easily pull off something without anyone noticing!"

And despite the silence the car provided for Usami Akihiko and his right-hand man, the shouts of the people still crept its way in.

"Fuck..."

Looking at his watch and the bumper to bumper maze of cars honking, Usami grunted before pushing the door to his side open.

"Usami-sama?"

"This line is never going to move an inch till morning," Usami Akihiko muttered as he fixed the collar of his coat, he then looked at his wrist watch. "I'll go."

Slamming the door shut, his feet started taking huge steps. And as he began to feel the chill against his cheeks, the slow steps turned into brisk walking. Until Usami Akihiko found himself running the fastest he had ever ran in his life.

* * *

All eyes were on Io. Awed at first at how pretty he was, forgetting for a moment that they were in a very tight situation. The dimly lit music hall was filled with hushed voices of speculations. And the longer Io kept silent, the heavier the buzzing became.

"Io-kun," one of the judges started. "Could you please explain why you suddenly went into the stage?"

The teen who was hungry for the spotlight didn't answer. Instead, he just stood there. Like how would a painter gaze at the scenery he'd put on canvas.

More speculations floated.

Another judge, a man with thick brows eyed the teen from head to foot. "We know your standing in this industry. Did you come here to claim that the young man beside you is doing fraud?"

Misaki looked at Io who was grinning. But Io just kept his eyes at the audience. He would even sometimes purposely smile his sly smile on the camera. Which sent the people outside the building move into more cheering for him and shouting.

_Why are you doing this to me Io?_

Many questions were thrown at the teen with only a smile as his answer. All different questions with the same meaning. However, Io seemed to have enjoyed the heat from the spot light, not paying attention to everyone. His own sweat forming on his forehead but instead of making him look disheveled, he looked even better.

It was the longest 5 minutes for Misaki as he stood in what seemed like a death-row. It was full of awkwardness, tension and the whole place reeked of the smell of biased judgement. It seemed like even if he begged, no one would try to understand him.

The buzzing in and out of the hall all of a sudden stopped when Io turned his head at Misaki.

Green eyes to green eyes, both reflecting each other's faces, Io painfully slow placed his hand on Misaki's tense shoulder. Misaki could only stare at the confusion at what Io's crazy mind was trying to execute.

Misaki stared back. He couldn't even utter a word even if he wanted to. The heart-stabbing accusations, the fierce comments and the piercing gazes like he was some criminal was taking its toll on Misaki. He was like a leaf about to be blown away for good.

"You see Takahashi," Io whispered slightly leaning closer to the frozen teen beside him. The audience, the media and the people outside could only see the teen's red lips moving. But no sound came. "I still think that I am better than you."

Io moved his face so close at Misaki's they almost looked like they were kissing in public. It only hyped the crazy imagination and sharp tongues of the people. Misaki could feel the warm, minty breath from Io as the teen in screaming red boots continued talking.

The overconfident teen moved away and gave a chilly smile before pushing Misaki slightly away from the center of the stage. Away from the microphone.

It happened so fast yet it seemed like Misaki felt he was in slow motion as he saw himself be moved aside. As he felt the cold hand push his shoulder lightly.

"And this spotlight belongs to me," Io claimed before darting his gaze at the audience.

Floods of comments kept on coming in all social networking sites. Even the Sonate's official site was having high network traffic. And it seemed like the whole world stopped when Io grabbed the microphone. The cameras focused on him in all angles. The people's eyes looked at him with admiration, but mainly curiosity.

Io's loose wrist watch almost slid down to his elbow as he gripped the microphone near his parted lips. The accessory created painful rays of white as the light from above hit the watch.

The beautiful smile plastered on Io's face disappeared.

And Io began to sing.

"A drop in the ocean  
A change in the weather  
I was praying that you and me  
Might end up together"*(1)

Usami who was pushing himself in the middle of the barricade of people even had to stop.

Contrasting the night sky, Io's green eyes looking at the audience with so much passion was captured perfectly by the camera panning in and out of the stage.

The song rendered everyone speechless. Rendered everyone motionless.

"It's like a wishing for rain  
As I stand in the desert  
But I'm holding you closer than most  
'Cause you are my heaven..."

The microphones captured perfectly every word of the song Io uttered. Every single note he made.

Misaki looked at Io in the middle of the stage. His trembling hand flew to his mouth, covering the loud sob trying to escape his dry lips.

With all passion and facial expressions that Io made in front of the elite audiences and the people around the world, Misaki's tears started running down his already puffy cheeks.

"I don't want to waste the weekend  
If you don't love me, pretend  
A few more hours then it's time to go  
As as my train rolls down the east coast  
I wonder how you'll keep warm  
Too late to cry  
Too broken to move on"

The mass media, the public, Arisaka and Takahiro and everyone else stared in disbelief.

The voice that seemed to belong from an angel, cold and yet warm, soft and yet dynamic, passionate and whole that captured every one's heart was nowhere to be heard.

Io's voice was nothing but a poor attempt of an amateur not born for singing. His high notes were mostly flat. His low notes were nothing but messy. And the worst, it didn't sound like singing at all.

It was like watching a very good movie with absolutely poor subtitles as the whole nation watched Io's full of expressions and emotions face and yet hear the painful singing at the same time.

"Most nights are hardly sleep  
Don't take what you don't need from me."*(1)

It was the end of the song. But it was like everyone was too shocked their reactions were delayed.

The teen on the stage scanned his eyes to the entirety of the audience sitting on their seats with pursed lips. Instead of feeling ashamed, Io bowed one of the most graceful bows of the night before facing again the audience.

"That's me," Io started pacing the stage. "It's the real Io's voice."

Io's fans stared dumbfounded at the huge screens, their banners kissing the ground. It was like they were thinking if it was just some kind of a prank. They wanted to believe the latter but Io wasn't showing any hint of joke. He was serious. And it felt like they were slapped on both cheeks.

"Io is no singer," Shizuku Ishi grinned. "I've deceived everyone by using that guy as my shadow singer," Io pointed at Misaki with his index finger, a rude manner.

Misaki began sobbing on the spot.

"I was the one claiming his talent all this time."

Io stepped closer towards the edge of the stage.

"So please," the ever so high and mighty Io bowed deeply. "Don't disqualify Takahashi Misaki. Give him a chance."

No one knew how one could explain the shock everyone had specially the loyal fans of the teen. The eager fan's of Io started crying, sniffing, comforting each other. Perhaps because they just witnessed a massive fall of an icon from a high pedestal. It was a mix of betrayal and anger. And above all...loss.

"I knew that that kid is up to something..." the old lady beside Io's seat muttered in a smile that caught Ijuuin's attention. "He's such a nice young man, don't you think, Ijuuin-san?"

Io's darkglasses still in his hands, Ijuuin looked at the old woman deeply then at the still bowed Io on the stage. "Who knows?"

The buzzing in the hall stopped as the audiences realized that the ten judges started gathering around in heated arguments. No one could hear what they were talking about. But the random stolen glances to Io and at Misaki was enough for everyone to understand what was going.

And while Ijuuin was worried, he decided to leave it to fate. If this stage was for Misaki to take, it would be his no matter what was thrown at him. If this stage was not for him, then Ijuuin knew that Misaki would make it his fate to have it.

The BlackMedley wasn't wrong.

Usami Akihiko's lips formed into a smile. Ijuuin Kyo's eyes sparked with pride. And everyone, though they didn't want to admit it, was touched when Misaki who was just a while ago nothing but a frozen decoration on the stage, ran to Io's side and bowed as well. They bowed side by side, waiting for the decision that would surely etch its way permanently in the history of Sonate.

Caught up by the moment, Usami started pushing his way in. It was like trying to pass through a thick, brick wall. The barricade of shocked people was so strong. Even if they gave him way in, they only move back to push the tall man farther from his goal. It was as if there was no way to get past through the massive number of people that served as the obstacle in reaching the entrance.

It became even harder to move when the silent mob of people from the shock Io brought started becoming alive again. Instead of the bashing Usami Akihiko sort of expected, he heard otherwise.

"Oh my god..." Arisaka mumbled, his eyes teary as he watched the people around the building chanting one word with all unity and sincerity.

_"Continue! Continue! Continue!"_

_"As you can see, everyone outside the hall decided to give the hated competitor number 36 the chance! This is such a sight,_" the commentator announced as the camera focused at the jumping people.

Io's fans, the eager audiences, the old and the young were one in seeing the competition finish with all 60 competitors. It wasn't just because of the moment they were doing it. The sight of two teens bowing deeply in front of everyone was something they just couldn't ignore.

And it made everything harder for the lavender-eyed man, whose skull was starting to throb, to reach Misaki.

* * *

"Why did you do this?" Misaki croaked silently, his back almost breaking. His tears creating a small pool of wetness on the stage as he remained bowed.

Io stole a glance at the pool of tears and grunted. "Don't cry it's embarassing."

"You're career, what about that?" Misaki sniffed. He was glad Io revealed the truth, but that being a given, the fact that Io deceived everyone would surely be a scar to Io's future.

"It's good that it ended tonight," Io mumbled. "For how long are they gonna discuss this my back is killing me..." the teen hissed.

To the audience's view, it was only two people in solemn bow at the stage. They didn't know Misaki was torn for Io, and that Io was already complaining his back.

"Why are you being nice to me now?" Misaki asked finally calming himself. "You hated me."

"Who said I hated you?" Io asked back annoyed. "Well..." Io paused thinking. "I have cancer."

Misaki's head turned towards Io's bowed one. The green eyes in disbelief, Misaki's body straightened with his gaze not leaving the bowed form of Io.

_"The Sonate Committee has decided that Number 36 Takahashi Misaki is still an official competitor,"_ the emcee annouced. _"The Sonate will resume after a ten-minute break. Thank you."_

People from the boxes started going out from the hall to take washroom breaks or to sip something. Contrary to the previous tense atmosphere, it seemed like everyone was agreeing with the Sonate Committee's decision.

If the people inside the hall was being hindered by formalities to shout their joy, it was not a problem for the people outside who for some reason, was cheering number 36. Despite being jammed pack standing together so close with each other they could exchange faces, everyone was shouting, cheering, jumping. True a lot has happened with this year's Sonate way different from the previous ones. But it made the event so much more interesting in their point of views.

And the hated competitor seemed to become a sudden favorite, completely forgotting Io.

Io stood properly and took a step towards Misaki who was thunderstruck.

"Don't give me that look, idiot," Io grumbled before pulling Misaki in a hug.

For the first time, without the tension of the secret that enveloped them, they looked just like brothers. With Io being the older one comforting the sad younger one.

Ijuuin watched the two on the stage as he approached the stage in silence. His grip on Io's darkglasses so strong he almost broke it but was just in time to loosen his hold.

"Aren't you happy you could still kill everyone. Don't they say 'save the best for last'?" Io whispered to Misaki's ears.

Still blank with not knowing what to feel, Misaki just looked at the high ceiling. It was blinding bright but he looked up anyway.

"How do you expect me to react after telling me you're sick?"

Io instantly pulled away from Misaki. The teen lifted his fist and moved like he was about to punch Misaki on the face but completely stopped before hitting Misaki's nose.

Laughing, Io had the most mocking face ever. "You believed that? Idiot, I was joking!"

Feeling indeed like an idiot, Misaki half frowned, half smiled at the relief.

"Look, let me clear one thing Takahashi," Io looked at the massive music hall like he was thirsting for it then back at Misaki. "I didn't do this for you. It's for me."

Misaki looked at the other green eyes intently.

"I could never make it out on my own as "Io the singer" who obviously cannot sing. I told you I'll come back and prove to you I am better. This is just the start. I can't sing, but that doesn't mean you're better."

Slowly taking steps backwards, Io's boots made a faint clicking sound. "And my fans? Easy..." Io grinned his usual confident smile. "I'll make them love me once again."

He moved away from Misaki, exiting the stage. And when the teen reached the steps at the side of the stage, Io ran towards the exit.

* * *

"Shit...shit...shit..."

Io has been trying to insert a coin into the vendo machine for water. But his shaking hand wouldn't let him. He only produced a clicking sound of the coin hitting the coin slot.

The teen looked around him. He was totally alone in that waiting area one floor below the hall's entrance. There were eight small sofas just in front of the vendo machines offering hot and cold coffee or tea and water. The place a little dim compared other floors since every action was on the floor above.

"I did it..." Io whispered to air, his hand that failed to insert the coin went to his white sleeveless shirt, cluctching the fabric tightly. It was as if he had ran miles and miles endlessly.

Turning his back against the vendo machine, he slowly slid to the grey-carpeted floor staring into space.

And after all the holding back, his own tears, painful in the eyes flowed down his cheeks.

If only everyone knew how hard it was to let go of the current popularity he had. If only everyone knew how painful it was to stand before the world admitting he was just deceiving everyone, perhaps, he would feel a little lighter.

Well he knew the way he was acting and talking was always misinterpreted . But he knew he was a jerk too so he wasn't complaining.

Io took his phone from his pocket that started vibrating.

_"Ishi-chan...I'm very...very proud of you."_

Biting on his lower lip, Io buried his face on his knees while his shoulders shook.

"I'm free to start from scratch now right?" his muffled voice echoed softly around the area.

_"Yes, dear..."_

"I'll definitely come back with my own talent...Ojii-chan..."

_"I am always your supporter..."_

The sob he couldn't supress escaped his lips and the tear flowed down harder.

"I was so scared Ojii-chan...so scared..."

_"It's all over now my dear...you can always stand after you stumble..."_

The teen pressed the end button so suddenly when he felt a new presence in the once empty waiting area. When he looked up, the creepy guy beside him, no, the BlackMedley was walking towards him. Io didn't know why so he just stared with an irritated look instead at the approaching man.

Io had no intention on moving on where he was sitting, but when Ijuuin stood in front of him, the man was just too tall it hurt his neck to look up so he stood urgently on both feet. Not that it made any difference with the height issue.

"The other vendo machine is free you know," Io muttered looking eye to eye with Ijuuin. He was somehow embarrassed knowing his eyes were reddish. If there was one thing he hated to do, it was to let others see him cry. He'd cried his eyes out when he lost his voice years ago and he only earned pity. It was the last thing he wanted to get from anyone.

"Here."

Ijuuin extended Io's darkeyeglasses together with a bottle of water. In truth, after paying attention to Misaki, he followed Io and saw the pathetic failed attempts of Io to insert coin. He gave his own water then.

With not an ounce of gratitude, Io grabbed his glasses and the bottle in one swing.

"I didn't know you had so much guts like that," Ijuuin started still looking at the somehow messy hair of the kid before him.

"What the hell are you talking about? That's the favor I did for your ticket."

_"Stubborn and a liar..."_ Ijuuin thought to himself. "I didn't know you were Io."

"I didn't know you were the BlackMedley either. Not that I care."

There was a glaring contest before the two before the sweet female voice broke the silence of the building and the noise outside the building.

_"The Sonate Music Competition is about to resume in three minutes. Please come back to your seats. Thank you."_

Ijuuin started walking away from Io with his hands in his coat pocket.

"Well, you should see how awesome your bestfriend is," Ijuuin muttered towards Io without looking back.

Stomping, Io walked behind, trying to open the bottle of water but his hands were still trembling badly, they were so weak.

Focusing on opening the bottle, Io had a deep frown. "Bestfriend? Are you a comedian?"

Annoyed at the brat, Ijuuin looked back only to see Io risking his life at opening a single small bottle. Out of reflex, the man stole the bottle away from Io's grip and without sweat opened it in one swing. And with a smirk, forced it on Io's hand.

"Don't butt into my business!" the teen shouted before walking past Ijuuin. "Leave me alone...we're quits!"

* * *

It was like an endless night for Misaki as he again had to endure the pain of the nerve wracking nervousness as he watched the people inside the hall get back on their seats.

His orchestra gave him a massive confidence boost at the backstage and they were again already back on the stage, eager to deliver the final blow. Misaki drew a deep breath in and out as he watched both the exits and the entrances of the music hall. But there was no hint of Usami Akihiko around. Even his presence Misaki couldn't feel.

* * *

_It's starting...damn it_...Usami Akihiko cursed. The volume of people was too much. It was as if he was in the middle of a stampede being swayed here and there.

He made progress and was already in the middle of the mob. But he was still far from the entrance that would take him to Misaki.

"Mister?" a girl wearing stars sunglasses called to Usami. The dimness helped to hide the composer's identity.

"You're bleeding. Are you alright?"

By reflex, long fingers reached for the throbbing pain on his head and realized that the gauze had already fallen off from all the running ad pushing through he did. It was hot and wet. And despite the shadows being casted in all directions, Usami could tell his blood trickling down his chin.

His wound was deeper and bigger than he thought.

* * *

**chapter end notes: **

hello! thank you for reading! thanks for your time and kind words! you're all awesome guyyyyyyysssssssssss! hontou ni arigatou!

_-shuusetsu_** (=´∇｀****=)にゃん **

**Io's song *(1): A drop in the ocean - Ron Pope**


	34. Anywhere But Here

Hello! thank you for the patience!. uhm, you could read this as well in my fics tumblr so you could hear everything^^ (for those who want) ^^

_yaoinessfics-shuusetsu.t u m bl R {dot} {com} /post/47031359955/the-shadow-singer-chapter-34_

* * *

**【【【】】】****Anywhere But Here【【【】】】**

* * *

A breath of nervousness deeper than the ocean itself escaped Misaki's lips. His shaking fingers he tried to steady wouldn't listen. They continued to tremble with the heavy thumping inside his chest. Misaki wanted to sink from his seat.

_I feel more nervous than ever..._Misaki whispered to himself, his eyes fixed at the floor.

Any second now he'd be called. And the more he waited for his name, the more he wanted to run away again. How did waiting for one's name turned out to be so nerve wracking? It was as if an annoucement of a death penalty.

In an instant, the low whisperings and chatterings of the people in the hall died away. It was as if a mute button had been pressed and everyone went hushed. The teen's eyes at the floor grew wide. His green eyes darted at the opening towards the stage.

He tried to swallow, but there seemed to be something stuck in his throat. He knew it was coming. As he waited for that voice, Misaki had to force himself to stand from where he was sitting. It took grave efforts. He was seriously afraid.

_"A lot has happened for this night and finally, we reached this point..."_

All eyes were fixed at the huge screens outside the hall. The cameras were focusing on the stage where a group of people dressed in a black were sitting holding their instruments. It panned closer and closer and suddenly it showed the outside of the hall, revealing equally hushed audiences in all walks of life.

_"We now call on number 36, the BlackMedley's representative..."_

Misaki started dragging his feet towards the entrance. The teen had to hold on to the wall feeling like there were shackles attached to his ankles.

"Takahashi Misaki-san, please take the stage."

Before stepping into the scrutinizing eyes of the world, Misaki took another deep breath. In and out, in and out if it would help him to ease the feeling of something prickly in his chest.

The moment he felt the heat of the lights above his head on his cold skin, Misaki had to shut his eyes. He took his steps in a slow manner it felt like he was taking forever to reach the spot where he should stand.

_It's too bright. It's too bright._..Misaki over and over again told himself while walking.

And when he reached the center of the stage, in front of the microphone, in front of the judges, in front of the hundreds of people sitting and waiting for him, Misaki's nails had already dug so hard againts his palms soon to cut through skin. An overwhelming feeling he couldn't explain enveloped him.

_Was the stage this big a while ago? Was the hall this bright earlier?_ Misaki's mind kept on asking as he tried to look around.

_"It's too bright. It's too bright I can't see anything,_" he squinted as he kept his gaze wandering around the hall. "_So bright, I can't see Usagi-san..."_

* * *

It was painful to watch. He had no other choice but to do so. Usami Akihiko could only lift his gaze at the screens. He tried hard to reach Misaki, pushed through with all his might but it seemed like it was the dead end. The people at the front refused to move. They selfishly wanted to stay on the spot they saved since that morning and no one could blame them.

"What's he doing?" the voices around Usami who was towering above anyone else started to grow like waves.

He didn't care about the throbbing pain looking at the bright screen ignited deep within his skull. He kept on looking at Misaki's face shown in different angles. And everyone noticed that look in the teen's green eyes.

"Too nervous he can't sing?" another one murmured.

It was so painful to see his Misaki looking around the stage as if he was lost and searching for an escape. Right there Usami Akihiko already knew that Misaki was looking for him amidst the blur of unknown faces. He himself felt like the lump in his throat started to swell.

His long-fingered hand reached for his mouth. He felt like he'd sob any moment. He didn't like Misaki having that kind of look on his face as if he was abandoned.

The camera focusing at the entire stage panned closer, revealing more of the teen's anxious look. They could clearly see the teen's trembling lips.

"Oh boy, the kid is too nervous..."

Despite the low murmurs of people speculating what had happened to the last competitor, they remained calm. Watching every flutter of Misaki's lashes here and there, the seconds ticked by slowly.

"I'm here Misaki," Usami called out wishing Misaki could hear him. "I'm watching you."

* * *

The low whisperings inside the hall halted when the emcee took over.

"Takahashi Misaki-san, you better start now or your time will be over."

Misaki watched the lips of the beautiful woman move, funny he couldn't hear a thing. He could only guess that he was already being told to start.

The only thing he could hear was his own breathing. The entire hall had become a vast soundless space for Misaki. And it only intensified the thundering in his chest.

_He's not here, is he?_ Misaki dared to ask a question inside him no one would answer._ I mean, if he was in here, I'd definitely..._

"What the hell is that shrimp going on about?" Arisaka shouted. "Staring contest with the audience?! Takahiro your brother is really ticking me off!"

The brother just smiled.

To be truthful, the people watching Misaki stare into space, in person or via electronic screens and televisions felt like it was better to give the teen a little more time. Like what the emcee said earlier, a lot has happened. Maybe the teen was still in shock at the bashing he received earlier. There were just so many reasons they could think. But none of them was right.

"Are you alright, Takahashi-san?"

"I'm sorry," Misaki muttered before bowing deep. "I'm fine."

"Then you may start please."

Gripping tightly the stand before him, Misaki threw a glance at the conductor. And the conductor looked in the eyes of his concert master. And before everyone could prepare to listen, the peircing violins, the nervous inducing timpani enveloped them all.

The instruments moved into an intro that shot through deep within everyone. It was like the sound of crying and retaliation in one. No one could take their attention off of it.

_Listen...listen to me..._

A tear found its way from the corner of Misaki's eyes when he closed them.

"Is this the end of the moment? _We've been so far from each other for so long..._  
Or just a beautiful unfolding  
Of a love that will never be, or maybe be _We didn't do anything wrong but they just wouldn't let us..._  
Everything that I never thought could happen,  
Or ever come to pass and I wonder if maybe,_ It didn't cross me I'd fall for a man..._  
Maybe I could be...all you ever dreamed...yeah..." _I don't regret it..._

When Misaki opened his eyes, it was just the blinding light that welcomed him. Couldn't see the people's reaction if he was doing fine or not. But it was better for him that way. Behind his tears he could pretend that Usagi-san was just the only one inside the hall. And it erased every knawing nervous feeling creeping inside his chest.

"'Cause you are beautiful inside  
So lovely and I can't see why I'd  
Do anything without you  
You are and when I'm not with you  
I know that it's true that I'd rather be  
Anywhere but here without you...

Crushed in between unknown people, despite the chill the night sky brought, everyone was perspiring due to the heat of being stuck together. It was an eerie silence that prevailed amongst the people. They were trapped within Misaki's reality. His song was his reality. And they felt hurt.

"Mister, why are you crying?" a little girl asked the silver-haired man. She was sitting on her dad's shoulders to avoid being squeezed.

Not feeling ashamed anymore for shedding tears in public, Usami just smiled at the girl. The girl maybe too young to understand what the song meant but it meant a whole lot to Usami who can barely contain his feelings inside his chest.

"Is this a natural feeling?  
Or is it just me breathing? _What's your relationship with Usami Akihiko? Just an answer please!_  
All my thoughts and dreams  
And hopes that you would be with me." _"I'm just a friend"...I was the one who broke us apart because of cowardice..._

Io shuffled to his seat and frantically put on his dark glasses. He didn't want to shed tears for Misaki but he did. To Ijuuin, he could feel his chest grow with pride but he levelled himself on the ground. It was purely Misaki's talent and he did nothing but give out pointers. Still, he could feel something inside him being moved.

"Is this a moment to remember?  
Or just a cold day in December?  
Or maybe, maybe I could be  
All you ever dreamed...  
'Cause you are beautiful inside  
So lovely and I can't see why I'd  
Do anything without you  
You are and when I'm not with you  
I know that it's true that I'd rather be  
Anywhere but here without you..."

When the orchestra took over, everyone seemed to have stopped breathing. They opened their eyes to Misaki's face crying, and opened their ears to Misaki in plea. In truth Misaki didn't care anymore if he was hitting his right notes, or if he was still singing in sync with the instruments behind him. He was all too absorbed with his exaustion from everything that he wanted to cry them all out to everyone.

"Is this the end of the moment?  
Or just a beautiful unfolding of a love that will never be?" _After this...what's next? What is there to pursue?_

Some had raised their hankies over their eyes, some smiled in awkwardness at the people beside them. It was all too emotional they could feel that it was coming from something much deeper than the want to win or the want for money and fame. For everyone who experienced love and heart break at some point in their lives, they couldn't deny that Misaki's song, was also theirs.

"'Cause you are beautiful inside  
So lovely and I can't see why I'd  
Do anything without you  
You are and when I'm not with you  
I know that it's true that I'd rather be  
Anywhere but here without you..."*(1)

_It's done...It's finally over..._

"God your brother is embarrassing crying out like that in television..." Arisaka-san mumbled but he was squeezing Takahiro's equally sweaty and trembling hands.

The song had ended, but no one uttered a word, no one clapped their hands. They just stared ahead of them, caught up with their own memories of loss and dreams gone broken.

Usami's lavender eyes were hazy he couldn't even see Misaki's face properly through his hot tears that wouldn't stop.

_"I know your frustrations...because I do feel them too..._" All strenght had been sapped from his legs and despite the tight space, the man fell on his knees. He wanted to crush Misaki into a tight hug. But there he was, couldn't reach him despite everything he had done.

Sniffing and wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his polo, Misaki took a step forward and bowed.

And it was that act that finally snapped everyone back to reality that it was over. Number 36 was finally done. Delayed as it was, the thunderous applause inside and outside the hall filled everyone. Screens showing the two scenes simultaneously, it was indeed one of the best performances of the night.

There were rare occassions one could be moved to tears by just a song, and as rare as it was, Takahashi Misaki sang one that belonged to them.

Misaki was breathing hard as he watched and listened to the claps bestowed to him. He moved his eyes up and down, to everyone to the farthest seat and could still feel his heart hammering inside him.

"I did it..." he whispered.

He was happy but he knew he was feeling empty.

"We now all have 60 competitors of this year's Sonate Music Competition!"

The voice once again revived the lively and festive ambiance inside and outside the hall. All eager to know who wins.

"We'll be announcing the results within 30-minutes. Thank you."

* * *

The orchestra had left the stage. The people inside the hall started taking their leave for wash room or light snack. The people outside started chatting lively and betting with money who wins. The world started moving one more time.

Usami was still on his knees, finally calm but still feeling the fresh pain the song had left him.

Ijuuin who wanted to congratulate Misaki for doing well stood from his seat with a curious frown.

The teen hasn't moved an inch from where he was standing. Misaki remained standing there, in the middle of the stage alone. Silent and in a daze.

It didn't take long for the people to notice on the broadcast that instead of the last competitor to move out of the stage right after the performance, the teen remained there like he was glued on the spot.

_This...isn't the real reason you pursued this...right?_

Ijuuin had reached the front stage. He watched the teen carefully and his gut told him Misaki was about to do something wreckless.

The man looked to his side when one of the people from Sonate approached him.

"Sir, all competitors should wait in Room 10. Please accompany your representative."

Ijuuin just gave a slight nod before facing the teen frozen on the stage.

"Takahashi...go down the stage," Ijuuin called. But Misaki remained staring into space.

_I wanted to show everyone what I can do...I did it..._  
_But...what of my relationship with Usagi-san?_

"Oi, Takahashi..."

Misaki looked around, Usagi-san was no where to be seen that was so clear.

"_He's gay! Having a affair with a fellow male! Disgusting!"_ Misaki could see the people's disgusted look on their faces. It was the people's fierce and heartless judgement that rendered him a coward.

What does his sexual preference had to do with his worth as a human being? No one loves because of gender. It just so happened that the unpredictable heart chose to beat for someone of the same sex. It just so happened that he, Misaki Takahashi was still immature and young he couldn't protect himself yet. He always had to be taken care of even if he didn't want it that way. Arisaka-san, his brother, the people in the hospital, his Usagi-san.

He'd been making decisions based on consequences. Wasn't that what a human does anyway?

_If I don't say anything.._. Misaki grabbed the stand once more._ Usagi-san would forever have to be away from me..._

Dark eyes grew wide in surprise. Ijuuin didn't have to hear what Misaki was about to do. He could plainly see them in the teen's eyes like he was reading an open book.

"Takahashi, what are you doing!" Ijuuin hissed. "You finally made it this far...one more and you'd be out."

The camera man who was switching scenes in and out of the hall noticed the last one who performed and another tall man as if having a serious conversation that he decided to focus his camera to the two.

_"If I don't do this, we'll never be together..."_

All heads darted to the huge screens. Just when everyone was just getting excited for the results, their attention got absorbed by the serious face of the teen still on the stage. It was the official theme song of Sonate that was playing in the background so no one could hear.

"Ne...ne...what is he talking about?"

Trying to ease the pain in his head by massaging his temple with his fingers, Usami slowly moved his gaze towards the screen. It wasn't just the heat that was exausting him but the noise of the people itself was like a driller drilling a hole in his skull. He felt the need to continue moving, but his head and the people wouldn't allow him. He was stuck in place like a tree.

"Takahashi, you'd lose," a stern look of a handsome man flashed before the public.

They looked at each other for a long period of time. Dark eyes trying to persuade emerald ones to snap out of his stupidity. But the eyes he was staring to seemed to have already decided.

"Listen," Ijuuin continued in a hushed voice. "For now, get down from the stage and think things through okay? Everything will go to waste and I'm sure that man wouldn't be happy with what you're doing."

"But, Ijuuin-san..."

"Come down to the stage and we'll talk. You have a huge chance of winning Takahashi, if you admit _'that_' it's the end."

Misaki looked at the microphone and at Ijuuin, weighing things that to Misaki almost didn't matter. With a heavy heart, Misaki started inching away from the center of the stage, away from the spot light. He did want to win. And he didn't want to be selfish one more time. He almost acted again out of impulse and everytime he did that, he ended up in some corner.

The moment Misaki was able to leave the stage, he looked up to Ijuuin watching him with a concerned look.

"Do you really want to admit it that bad?" Ijuuin whispered.

Misaki just nodded teary eyed.

Like the supporter and the new acclaimed role of a brother and friend of Misaki, Ijuuin just tapped the teen on the shoulders firmly.

"I understand that, but Misaki you have to learn to separate this and that. Personal matters over the professional ones or else you wouldn't be able to think properly."

Misaki just looked on the floor.

"I'm sure he'd like you to win this. Just hang on there, you'll get the chance..."

And the two with Ijuuin leading the teen, headed for Room Ten.

* * *

"Alright, alright...here coffee!" a man wearing a blue cap whose name was plastered on his shirt "Satsumi" offered to the people inside the mobile control room.

"Man this day is tiring isn't it?" a younger man replied without averting his eyes to the small screens before him. Pushing buttons here and there to look for interesting scenes to flash on the broadcast.

Fanning himself with his own cap while sipping his coffee, Satsumi lazily ran his eyes at the small boxes before him. They all looked the same; people excitedly eating, chatting, betting and singing while waiting for the results.

At the row of screens, 3rd to the left, the man almost choked from his coffee, he frantically set his cup down and pushed himself towards the control buttons before him.

"Hey! What are you doing?" the younger one shouted. "It's your break senpai, leave it to me."

"No...shut-up..." the man hissed eager to capture that one glimpse another time.

Pressing some buttons, pushing a knob upward, the camera hit the angle Satsumi wanted.

"Oh shit, senpai...what is that man doing there?"

"Who knows? Put it on simultaneous broadcast with Sonate..." Satsumi ordered.

The kohai had to look at his senpai and the screen alternatingly.

"But senpai..."

"Go on...Usami Akihiko watching Sonate from outside. Isn't that pathetic? He used to be almost the King of Sonate," grinning for a sure increase of ratings, the older man nodded. "What's more, what if the acclaimed gay lover is actually a competitor? Wouldn't that make the event more interesting?"

Feeling a little down as if he was doing a crime, the kohai started pressing on the control buttons, following his senpai's order.

"Ah!" the man exclaimed once again. "The last competitor...Takahashi isn't it? Wasn't he the kid one of our reporters questioned during Usami AKihiko's conference? I just realized..."

The other people in the van having their coffees stared quietly.

"He's representing BlackMedley but he is a fan of Usami Akihiko? Isn't that fishy?"

Still couldn't get used to some of the dirty things tv crews do to get high ratings, the kohai sighed. "Someone will get disqualified just for ratings..." the man mumbled.

* * *

chapter end notes:

yoh minna-san! guess and readers sorry for the wait. i decided to add more hours to my sleeping time because i have seriously messed up my body clock.^^ hahaha...thank you for your time...^^" will he win? will he not? lol...

*(1) Misaki's song - Anywhere but here - Orchestral Version (safetysuit)

FYI:

Mobile control rooms: where engineers or people in the production control a tv program. in this case, it's in mobile since they're out. they're synchronized with the main television building

thank you for reading and your kind words! *ﾟ ゜ﾟ* *ﾟ ゜ﾟ** *:;;;:* *:;;;:

-shuusetsu


	35. Anguish

yoh minna-san! gomen for the late update! i was just...sleeping...pfft! thank you for your patience and support and kind words!

* * *

**【【【****ANGUISH】】】**

* * *

Many times, people have described the quietness before a storm to be scarier than the storm itself. When it's quiet, no one could tell how much the damage could be. When it's quiet, no one could not feel rested no matter how much they have prepared. When it's quiet, it actually only pushes depressing thoughts prevail no matter how positive a person could be. The only thing human beings could do was gawk at how an enormous storm had come to break in. That calm before a storm exactly was the waiting.

"Do you need to get another drink?" Ijuuin asked seeing that the bottle of water he had given Misaki was already empty. But the teen merely shook his head in silent 'no'.

The man sighed and patted Misaki on the head with calculating moves. Ijuuin totally understood the feeling of waiting for the result. That quenching feeling like a person was being strangled. It was a painful yet sweet feeling. It would be useless to tell a competitor to 'not be nervous'. It was almost fifty percent of any given situation in life would be that emotion, nervousness. An emotion when one doesn't know what the future holds.

"Ijuuin-san," Misaki cut in through Ijuuin's train of thoughts. "You're hand..."

"My hand?" Ijuuin raised his hand and if he was some teenager, he swore he could have blushed at that moment. Shaking more badly than his student? How embarrassing!

"YOU didn't see that," Ijuuin muttered annoyed. Misaki smiled sheepishly.

Looking around the room, it wasn't grandiose or extravagant. If anything, it was just a plain white room with wooden chairs to seat on. Aside from that there was nothing more. And inside, the sweltering heat of rivalry was seeping to every square inch. It was the moment where everyone saw the others as not just a mere rival but an enemy.

"I wonder...I think...I am not really fit for these kind of competitions," Misaki absent mindedly uttered while looking at the other people talking in hushed voices.

Ijuuin had to frown at the teen beside him. "What the hell is this about again? After all the things you've done, you say that?" Crossing his long legs, Ijuuin looked up the ceiling. "Give me something with more sense will you?"

"I always thought that music is supposed to be enjoyed...but this feeling...why is it that everyone is having this look like they want to kill?" Misaki asked while looking at his empty water bottle.

"Didn't you enjoy what you did earlier?" Ijuuin asked in a stern voice.

Misaki didn't answer. He merely knitted his fine brows while rolling the bottle on his lap.

"You know Misaki, you're view of the world is still like a fairy tale considering the many things you've been through. But let me tell you one thing," Ijuuin leaned closer to his student with the most serious face he could muster. "Rivalry is what makes the world go round. When you have a lot of rivals, you're pushed more than your limit. It brings out all the potentials within you."

Misaki's green eyes stared straight on.

"Isn't it 'touching people through the world of music' your vision?" the man asked grinning as if mocking Misaki. "Though that sounded really old school..."

"Don't make fun of me, you're my teacher here," Misaki scowled. In truth, Ijuuin felt a little more relieved that Misaki was giving off such face.

In that room with the other competitors with their own advisors, everyone had this hope that they'd be the one. One could hope and dream anyway. They were the free things one could splurge them into in this world. Perhaps, Ijuuin knew that this night would be the last one he'd be Misaki's teacher and advisor. So though it wasn't in his personality to talk with such flowery descriptions, he ended up doing it so.

"Actually Takahashi, you are more gutsy than you realize."

"Eh?"

"You walked out on me. Came back here, sang despite crying... as a teacher I admire that in you. If you want others to hear you you have to sing louder, clearer and fiercer. You're not the only one who has something to say in this world. That's why you have to make a loud music not a loud noise."

"What's with this serious talk, Ijuuin-san it feels creepy."

Ijuuin looked surprised and eventually laughed at the comment he got. "Well, I'm just trying to dig into that thick skull of yours that as long as you don't make a name for yourself, you'd only make a small noise in a small corner."

"Ijuuin-san, you're too stiff."

"What?"

"But you might know it by now, I act most of the time, based here," the teen pointed at his chest for a little while before grinning at Ijuuin. "I don't rely much in my head because I know I am an idiot."

A faint ringing called the attention of everyone inside the waiting room that stopped all conversations.

_"We request the guests to please leave the Room Ten and proceed to the music hall. Sonate competitors, please stay in Room Ten until the result is ready. Thank you."_

A lopsided smile formed on Ijuuin's lips before standing. His dark suit a little crinkled now but it didn't make him any less admirable. Sighing a contented one, Ijuuin inserted his hands inside his pockets.

"Well, I did learn a few things from you..." he said without turning to look at Misaki. "If you lose, you're free to work in my company..."

"Don't jinx me!" Misaki shouted.

Ijuuin started walking away from Misaki. Slow yet dignified he made his exit. "See? You're not nervous anymore."

"...!"

"After the competition, you're free to do whatever you desire to do," Ijuuin raised a hand in the air. "I'll be a step on your ladder no matter what. Good luck."

Misaki watched the broad back grow farther from him. As the teen fixed his gaze at the tall man, a sudden emotion took his breath away that he stood abruptly from his seat that sent the empty water bottle to the floor rolling a few meters away.

"Ijuuin-san..." Biting down his lower lip, Takahashi Misaki bowed at his leaving sensei. "Thank you for everything..."

Blurry white floors before him, it wasn't tears of regret or anything negative. It was tears of gratitude towards a man who he rejected but still gave him all the support he could ask for. Misaki knew if not for Ijuuin's strict teaching and faint cheering and wide understanding, he wouldn't be there. So a heart felt and sincere bow was the only thing he could give in return. For his heart was already taken by somebody else.

All the other competitors looked at what Misaki was doing. It was a contagious feeling that they have forgotten they were all rivals. And instead gave a few of their seconds bowing for the respective people they were representing.

It stirred a new kind of emotion to the audience watching on their phones, tvs, laptops and on the big screens outside the venue itself. Such a sight to behold, rivals in unity, it felt like really, '_no man is an island_'.

* * *

Squinting his tired and blurry eyes, Usami Akihiko fixed his gaze at the huge entrance to the building before him. It looked so close that if he tried to extend his hands, he'd definitely reach it. But reality wasn't as sweet like that. The more he moved forward, the stronger the barriers became. It was frustrating, irritating and maddening. He was there and yet he couldn't even overcome that plain obstacle.

"Shit...not now..." he muttered in a labored voice. Chilly as it was getting, he was running cold sweat. He never liked crowded areas. Just the thought could make him nauseous .

_Is this all the distance I could cover?_

It was a huge blow to the man's pride. He thought that he was invincible before. In the flick of his fingers, people come flocking down to him. In just one call, everything he needed was laid before him. And yet the one thing he wanted to reach was so far. He knew he already did his best. That was the painful part. It reminded him that he was just a human after all. And part of it was there would be times that he wouldn't be able to take control.

He could only wait at that point in time what fate would bring him. Waiting doesn't mean giving up anyway. Because one is uncertain they wait. And hopefully an opening would present itself. He did all the reaching, but it takes two to make a pair for a 'holding hands'.

Buttons flashing, all eyes stared at the small screens before them and at their timer.

Sneaky and cunning, that was the reality of everyone in an industry for entertainment. The friend earlier could be the enemy later. And the foe could be the angel that would lead one to salvation. Everything was just a blur of anxiety and uncertainty.

"This is so lame...so useless..." the young man hiding his face in his cap muttered, his fingers on that green button.

_"In ten seconds, camera 3 will be on air. Everyone please stand by,_" a voice in their headsets reminded.

The kohai gritted his teeth as he imagined what would happen. The signals would air two scenes at the same time. A screen cut into half to show the Sonate and to show the happenings outside. But that time, instead of focusing on the reactions of the audiece as a whole, they'd be focusing a single man out of the many.

_"This is foul play...damn this senpai..."_ his sweaty hand trembled and he shivered, hatred seeping through him. _"Is it fun to make a joke out of gay people? Is it a crime to be gay damn you people?"_

He could only follow orders though. But that time he swore, once he gets to the top, he'd never take ratings out of making a fool of someone no matter how childish it may seem.

_"8..7...6..."_

_"Kami-sama, do something for this guy.._" he prayed. For when he looked at Usami Akihiko's face, he could only feel sadness at the blatant frustration on that once composed face.

_"5...4...3..."_

_"I'm sorry..."_

_"2..."_

"OMG! THAT IS ME!" a girl squealed. "I'M ON TELEVISION!"

Everyone looked at the huge screens before them. Many felt giddy some started waiving their hands and grinning stupidly before the cameras. However it only took meer seconds before they realized to where it was being focused on.

Massaging his temples, Usami hadn't realized that the mob had created a circle around him. As if he was some freak show, the space they were so eager on protecting thrown out on thin air as they gathered around the seemingly tired man who looked appalled when after raising his head, he saw his own lavender eyes looking back at him on the screens.

"Please give way! Give way!" a male marshall shouted forcing a way into the mob towards the composer.

"Ne, isn't that Sayaka Aoi? Wow...looks pretty..." a guy whispered to his friend. "No wonder they're sending their prettiest gossip girl here huh?"

"Interesting..." the other muttered.

Usami could only stare at the approaching showbusiness show crew towards him. The blinding lights of their cameras seared through his brains.

* * *

_"Sonate Music Competitors, we request you to comeback to the hall on the stage and stand according to your numbers. The result is already out. Thank you and good luck."_

The rustles of clothes, the squeaking of shoes on the floor filled Misaki's brain. The confidence he had tried to gather earlier disappeared like a cigarette smoke and his drumming heartbeat was too much. This cycle of getting calm and getting nervous once again was seriousy making him more tired than he should be.

Young ladies and young men formed separate lines as they exited the room one by one. Despite that, Misaki could still hear the mutterings of the other competitors.

"See, whoever wins is like winning in a lifetime lottery..."

"Baka-did you join just for the sake of money?"

"Of course not. The craft is more important. But you couldn't deny Two Hundred Million Yen is a lot."

"Not to mention a two-year contract with Sonate, a dream come true isn't it?"

A girl turned her green eyes at the two vulgar young men. "Please be discreet you two will you?"

_Winning, huh_? Misaki thought to himself. He smiled a little. Before, just being able to compete in Sonate was enough for him. And yet, now, he couldn't deny that he wanted to be the one to take home the trophy. People by nature are really greedy. But when put to good use it could really help a lot. As it pushes people to move forward.

The line was neat and orderly. However, despite him being the 36th competitor, he was asked to stand at the last. It didn't matter to him. Somehow, watching the backs of the other people was soothing in its own way.

One by one, Misaki could hear the faint voice of the emcee calling each names as they entered the stage. It felt funny somehow. The time he prepared for this event was long and yet, in just one night they'd judge everything. It was hard to believe.

_"Number 9, Minami Ayaka,"_ the emcee announced and the never ending succession of claps could be heard even in the waiting room where they were lined.

_They're too tired and their hands might be swollen to clap for me when it's my turn._ Misaki joked to himself.

Misaki wasn't really paying attention to the LCD screen hanging by the wall since he didn't want to look at the stage of the Sonate through the television. Looking at it would just break his resolve. However, just one glimpse and he got stuck on his spot. Speechless, mindless.

_"This is such a surprise such as yourself is watching outside the hall, Usami Akihiko-san!"_

The look on Usami's face wasn't really inviting but the girl, pretty and petite yet alluring continued. She was forceful thinking everyone would and should forgive her because she was the cute gossip girl.

_"Or are you not even allowed inside the hall you once reigned?"_ she sneered. Who knew such an angelic face could make snide remarks as that? But the world was too blinded by her cutesy reactions they didn't care.

Pushing the microphone closer to disheveled Usami Akihiko, Aoi continued her job._ "We got from a source that your lover is actually a competitor in Sonate? That's a taboo in this competition right?"_

_"There's no such thing as that,"_ Usami hissed, trying to hide his face with his hand. Trying to hide the dried blood on the side of his face.

_Usagi-san..._a chill ran down Misaki's spine as he watched the man, exhausted and somehow unkept through the television. He had never seen the man like that, never._ He's here...he's been here all this time..._

_"Aww_..." Aoi giggled. _"Don't be secretive Usami-tan! Everyone is dying to know who your lover is. Does he know you're here cheering him on?"_

"What the hell is that airhead's problem?!" Arisaka and a couple of people who were watching in their right minds grumbled. Clearly, she was nothing but a woman whose brain was in her chest instead of her head.

The girl wearing super mini skirt despite the chilly air pushed her earphones deeper in her ear as the buzz of the audience outside was overpowering.

_"Hai?"_

_"Ask him if his lover is the one named Takahashi Misaki."_

_"Alright..."_

The girl tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled an innocent smile that sent the stupid guys watching to wet dream land.

_"Usami-tan, is your lover Takahashi Misaki?"_

For a moment, Usami Akihiko's poker face displayed a shocked reaction which he hurriedly replaced by his "poker face" once again. But the cameras were merciless eyes that captured every single move the man made. And with that, the speculations grew.

_"Oh my goooood..._" the girl was exageratedly shocked. _"For reaaaaaaaaaal?"_

"Why don't you shut your stupid mouth? Don't make assumptions that could ruin others' lives!" Usami hissed which sent the girl backing away. A huge backer had to stand between Usami and Aoi.

In all angles, Usami Akihiko appeared to be the bad guy, scaring the cute girl like that.

_"Eh...I thought he'd be composed but to actully raise a voice to cute Aoi?"_ Misaki could hear the voices of the people in the background.

"She deserves it!" an annoyed girly voice shouted.

_"Hey, don't be harsh on a woman just because you're thing is for males!"_

On live broadcast, Misaki watched his Usagi-san stand in the middle of the people who clearly knew nothing of how gentle and caring of a man he was. He wanted to pull the television off it's spot and smash it on the floor.

"So cruel...this is so cruel..." Misaki sobbed looking up.

_"Number 43, Ueno Shinji..."_

The guy before Misaki noticed the teen's muffled cry that when he looked at Misaki, he was a bit surprised to see Misaki's face in a mix of tears behind anger.

The many idiotic people who wanted attention shouted how disgusting Usami was. The others who couldn't care less was just caught in the moment they gave their not so good remarks.

_"That 36 has been a pain from the very start anyway...perhaps that rumor is true?"_

_"Then...shouldn't that be allowed?"_

_"Is that even important? I bet that wimpy looking guy is the receiver..._" a voice muttered followed by a cruel laugh.

Exhaustion, frustration and most of all, anger at hearing his Misaki be talked about in such a manner, Usami Akihiko finally snapped. He didn't care about dignity, composed front and any of those shits anymore. He only had one thing in mind and that was to hit that ugly mug on his left side with all his might.

Screamings everywhere, the other people watching stepped back as Usami Akihiko started beating the guy with red dyed hair with all his remaining strenght. He wanted to make a bloody mess of that ugly face, redder than the color of his hair.

"No...that's enough..." Misaki whispered as he watched the name Usami Akihiko so hardly created go down the drain. "Enough..."

"Hey...Takahashi-san?" the guy called out, unaware of the happenings on television since he was all ears into the calling of names. "You're eyes are red..."

With the anguish on Usami's face etched on Misaki's mind, the teen stepped back. Misaki's started walking towards the stage opening. Passing the numbers that should be called first, everyone looked at Misaki with questioning eyes.

No one in the hall knew what was going on outside since they had once again shut off the huge screens. They shouldn't have been airing what was going on outside. Just that one instant to make their point at Misaki and Io's exactness.

Ijuuin grew numb on his seat. Io who was trying to fix his darkglasses almost slid off his seat. All eyes were once again at number 36 Takahashi Misaki who shamelessly stomped across the stage, his shoes echoing with every step he made. Every part of him looked tense.

And everyone were stupefied when Misaki grabbed the microphone from the emcee at the side of the stage and with an anguish look while his tears were running on the side of his cheeks, he faced the entire audience and the cameras.

"SO WHAT IF I AM GAY?! SO WHAT IF I AM USAMI AKIHIKO'S LOVER!?"

The teen couldn't have shouted any louder than that. The music hall turned silent as if everyone fell into some hole. The audience's neck outside the venue all turned towards the huge screens.

Slowly, Usami Akihiko's grip on the ugly guy's collar loosened. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe what he just heard and so slowly, as if he was afraid of seeing what he already knew was happening, he raised his lavender eyes at the huge screens.

Misaki was there on live broadcast crying in front of all Japan, admitting he was gay.

_"Usagi-san...enough...please..._" the voice croaked from the huge full blast speakers through out the wide area. _"Enough..."_

The camera focusing on the bleeding guy panned to Usami Akihiko. There was no doubt a tear escaped the man's eye when he looked up at the huge screens.

"Misaki...you idiot..." he muttered in a hoarse voice.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

thank you thank you...just want to say ARIGATOU for everyone..readers guests...

for now..i am headed to dream land...^^ i'll respond after waking up..hehe

-shuusetsu.

FYI: ￥200,000,000 is roughly around 2 million dollars.^^ whoa!


	36. The Result

hi everyone! i was thinking i won't update for tonight. haha...i was so caught up with rewatchin SKET-DANCE AND MY EYES ARE ALL PUFFY RIGHT NOW FROM CRYING...but then...when i started typing, i couldn't stop. i hope you enjoy this chappy as much as i enjoyed typing away...saaaaaa!

* * *

**※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※**

** °°°°°° The Result °°°°°°**

**※※※※※※※※※※※※**

* * *

There were no words that could explain the tightening in his chest as he watched Misaki's distorted face. It was like a painful tightening inside that was about to suffocate him. He couldn't even utter another word. He was numb all over.

Stupid as it was, Usami was really nailed on the spot.

He couldn't speak.

He couldn't think.

He thought he'd die.

He thought he'd die from the overwhelming feeling of knowing that Misaki, the one person he was willing to sacrifice his everything for could take it that far. Take it that far for him.

He was really happy.

However, another feeling was there inside him. Knowing that he, Usami Akihiko, was the cause of Misaki's sure disqualification from Sonate, he felt burdened. He felt shaken.

More than the happiness, the man was filled with guilt for crushing the dream that could almost reached by the hand.

_"Why...did I snap like that?"_ Usami's mind rattled on and on and on._ "If I didn't cause so much attention...this wouldn't have happened..."_

As if the lights of the world had been turned off, Usami felt like he was standing in the middle of a desert. The guilt and the feeling of loss was pushing him down the sand.

He had never felt so unsure in his life. He had pictured Misaki to be successful. He didn't care about himself anymore. But what of it now?

He wasn't blaming Misaki. He was blaming himself.

* * *

Misaki couldn't imagine what sort of face he was making. Everything in his vision just turned black and his mouth ran before him. As he darted his unfocused eyes at the faces of the people, he could feel his knees shaking so bad. It felt like they couldn't support Misaki's weight any longer.

He gulped despite the dryness in his lips.

"I'm so..." Misaki looked at the polished stage. The lights making it look like it was white instead of a deep brown. His fingers were gripping the microphone so tightly he wouldn't be surprised if it snapped into half. "I'm so..."

His voice, soft and weak filled the hall. It was just crazy silent as if Misaki became alone in an instant. He was as shocked as the audience. However, whether people were there shocked or not, the teen didn't care anymore.

Misaki searched for Ijuuin amidts the many faces. He traced the blank faces like he was looking at mannequins.

There was a lump in Misaki's throat when he finally saw Ijuuin Kyo. He didn't deserve such kindness now, did he? Instead of a teacher fuming in anger, there was Ijuuin Kyo's smile.

It was the kind of smile that said "Damn brat, do what you want..." So typical of the man.

"I'M SORRY!" Misaki bowed. For Ijuuin, for his brother, for Arisaka and for everyone who pushed him till the end only for him to throw it away.

The moment he said it, he knew without it being announced yet that there would be no way on Earth he could still win the Sonate, no matter how much hope was placed on him by the people who believed in him.

"Are you okay with that?" Io asked, pulling the darkglasses a little lower down his nose, revealing his green scrutinizing eyes. "He practically threw it away..."

Sighing, Ijuuin closed his eyes. "It's a decision out of impulse. How can I be okay with that?"

"Heh..." the teen muttered sounding bored fixing his eyes at Misaki on the stage. "Then why are you smiling like a creep again?" he mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing..."

Frowning, Ijuuin crossed his arms on his chest and relaxed on his seat. "Takahashi..." he continued, "...is an idiot. But I love his determination... He'll be fine."

It was crazy how the delayed reaction turned into something of a paranoia. Acting as if it was the first time they heard of the word "gay" and "lover". Acting as if Misaki and Usami had committed a sin and they haven't. They were all so quick to judge. The people's lips buzzed with demeaning comments and hurtful words. And the worst, it seemed like they were enjoying every second of it.

_"Eh...36 is actually in an indecent relationship."_

_"What a crazy Sonate we have this year, ne?"_

_"So those pictures, it was that Takahashi? Eww..."_

Standing in the middle of the sea of buzzing sounds, Usami had no choice but to ignore them all. Damage has been done. There was no taking it back.

* * *

It was frustrating. Irritating to the point that one could go crazy. Everyone was talking at the same time. Hissing and muttering these different words with all having the same meaning. Discrimination.

Inside the hall, outside the hall, everyone just had to say something. Just had to comment. There was nothing wrong with it. Freedom of speech as they say. But they were crossing the line.

An authoritative figure stood and they stopped. These people stopped when one of the people sitting behind the long, white table stood slowly as if the mere act was tiring. He was small. Perhaps because of age, he became that way. Despite that, age didn't have anything to do with the air of authority around him. Just his palm raised in the air and everyone just had to shut up.

His smiling face didn't waver. He just merely nodded before taking the microphone laid before each of the judges.

He looked up and cleared his throat. That was it. The Chief judge was going to say something. And everyone anticipated it. Misaki, Usami, everyone.

"Takahashi-san..." a low, weak voice started.

Usami stared with wide eyes at the screens. Any minute that time, and he would be hearing the dreaded words.

"Do you know the consequences of what you just said earlier?"

The teen looked at the old man's direction. Misaki traced those large veins on the old man's hands before looking eye to eye with the man.

"I know."

As if the old man was thinking, another silence filled everyone. If anything, it only intensified the want of the people to know what was going to happen. It was even comical at some point, people who've been watching could even admit they had never paid so much attention to an announcement as much as what they were doing that time.

"I'm giving you 10 seconds to take back your words. Corrections or clearing of your name with this revelation son..."

Without knowing it, Usami's feet took a step forward as if he could reach out to the electronic screens showing everything inside the hall. He just looked. With his own heart stuck in his throat.

_"They're giving you a chance Misaki...take it back. Take it back!"_

* * *

_Take back_? Misaki felt like laughing._ Clearing?_

Gritting his teeth, Misaki threw a glance at the line of his rivals. They were all so bright in his eyes. Full of talents and future. And the teen felt already happy he was able to perform his song fair and square. He didn't cheat. He didn't use anything to get on that stage. Only his talent.

_What's there to clear? I'm just admitting the truth..._

Unconsciously, his green orbs darted at the table before the judges. He hadn't notice it before. But there it was, a gold huge music note, shining with all its glory. The trophy symbolizing the fruit of all the hardships everyone went through just to get into the competition. Together with the huge check, the money symbolizing the wealth from music. Their reflection in Misaki's eyes were too much it was blinding.

_The trophy's so pretty..._

Within that ten seconds, Misaki just stared at the would be prizes. He stared and stared at them. Before he knew it, ten seconds was up.

_"Oi, oi...even if he take back his words,the mere fact he was breaking a rule is enough to disqualify him! What chance? You must be joking Sonate!"_

_"Maybe they're just being nice?"_

_"That BlackMedley got himself an unworthy student..."_

It wasn't just Misaki and Usami who got stabbed behind their backs. Ijuuin was included too. It was the explosion of people wanting to feast on somebody else's situation. Perhaps they didn't mean it. But it was wrong in any angle or way.

"So...Takahashi Misaki?" the Chief Judge called. His voice was so calm as if he was just in the middle of a chat while drinking tea.

"Take it back..." Usami whispered behind his throbbing temples.

"Aren't you surprised, Takahiro?" Arisaka asked stealing a glance at the silent man before him.

Sighing, Takahiro fixed his unseeing eyes at the laptop. Imagining in his head how tense and how ugly the scene was. "It would be a lie if I said I am not surprised," his lips curling into a sad smile. "I know something is going on when Misaki introduced that man to me. He rarely brings friends here aside from you and Sora. So I know deep within me I guess I already prepared myself."

"Then? You okay with your brother being...you know?"

"More than being okay or not, it's Misaki. The fact he's going out with another man doesn't change that he's my only brother."

Arisaka looked away when he realized that the blind man was trying to supress tears.

"You're so not okay with it, Takahiro you don't have to hide it."

"I wanted Misaki to have a normal life. A woman to marry, have his own kids and those stuff..." the pamphlet in his hand crumpled as his shaking hands clenched them.

"I'm not okay with it...But there's nothing I could do, is there? He had already started making his own decisions without consulting me. He's become an adult without me realizing it."

"That Usami Akihiko..." Arisaka mumbled. "...is a good guy. That's all I can say as Misaki's second brother."

* * *

The faces Misaki could see were all having a blank expression. Curiosity and interest, they were fierce expressions that almost made Misaki lose his resolve. The dimly lit hall, the stage itself, those were just dreams that he managed to get a hold of. Everything, despite the aches he got, everything has been fun.

But being asked, the grand life and promise of winning, or the single name his chest was screaming; there would be no questioning what his answer would be.

From all the cameras Misaki could see focusing on him, he couldn't decide where to look at. Gripping the mic in between his sweaty palms, Misaki looked straight. When he drew a deep breath, it was as if everyone watching him did the same.

"I am in love," Misaki started with his eyes as if he could actually see Usami. It was a chilly gaze of confession. "...with Usami Akihiko."

The troubled look on Misaki's face, the anguish, the confusion and all the indecisiveness was gone. He wanted to end it.

The eyes of the people started burning holes on Usami's body. They were a mix of astonishment, glare and calculations.

Usami's hand moved to his mouth. He felt like he was choking. It was like needles prickling on his skin.

_"We're not in a relationship!" Misaki hissed._

_"It's not like that...I mean we're..."_

_"Good afternoon, I'm Usami Akihiko, Misaki's friend."_

_"Hey kid, we just want to confirm something, could you answer a few questions?"_

_"So...do you know Usami Akihiko personally?"_

_"I...to Usami Akihiko..." _

_"I...I...I..." Misaki looked at Usagi-san whose face was expressionless._

_"I...I am just a regular fan," Misaki mumbled with wide eyes. "...sneaking in here..."_

The flashbacks were enough to make this strong man to fall on his knees.

"First time..." Usami whispered as he looked at the green eyes clear as night sky. "...admitting to everyone..." even if he wanted to cry, he couldn't. His heart couldn't decide what to feel. Happiness, sadness, pain, pride and love all whirling inside. No explaining it. He was crazy with everything about Misaki.

"TO BE HONEST, I CAN'T STAND YOU PEOPLE JUDGING ME, JUDGING USAGI-SAN! I DON'T WANT TO BE LOOKED AT LIKE I AM SO DIRTY!" Misaki hissed. His heaving chest showing how fed up he was with everything.

"SAYING GAY, GAY, GAY, HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY FEASTED ON THAT MATTER, YOU'RE NOT YET SATISFIED?!" the teen glared at all the cameras focused on him, his anger showing in every angle. "I'M SORRY BUT I HAVE TO SAY THIS, YOU'RE ALL JEEEEEEEERKS!"

He panted like he had ran a mile. His sweat clearly visible from the lights focused on him.

The people watched with all attention at the angry teen scolding them. Watched every flutter of the teen's eyelashes here and there. And as if a button has been pressed, Misaki's anger disappeared and was replaced by a calm face. No one knew anymore what the teen was going to do. He was just plain unpredictable.

What the entire people who threw indecent judgement to the teen, those who didn't have any comments, and those few who believed that being gay didn't matter couldn't understand was when Takahashi Misaki, bowed solemnly once more in front of the cameras. His hair hiding his face, he bowed a long and deep one.

"But despite that, I want to thank all of you..."

_"Ha?"_

_"Thank...us?_" the people asked themselves.

"Because without you pushing me to the farthest corners, I wouldn't be able to admit this. I would probably be spouting things to hide my real identity...so thank you."

Misaki paused, capturing his breath. He couldn't even anymore understand who was talking or taking control. His head or his chest? But perhaps, the body was agreeing to the heart. It was one of those rare moments that the mind gives way and shuns logic. All leaving the decisions to the heart for once. It was the act of the stupid. But most of the time, the stupid are the ones getting their contentment.

"Baka Usagi, you're there right?" Misaki grinned despite his puffy face he looked comical. "If you have something bothering you, tell me!"

Usami's profile in the cameras' lenses was showing lips into a smile, while his whole face was hidden by the shadows of his hair. Looking at him, somehow, even for just a little bit, they could get a glimpse of what love beyond everything was like.

Still couldn't admit the guilt and shame, they just watched silently as witnesses for something way out of their understanding.

"Forcing me to say embarrassing things...but I will say them anyway," the Sonate people didn't even know whether to stop Misaki or not. They were also caught up with the teen's pace rendering them in a state of shock and awe. "I can't stand the distance and I can't surely dream alone...what's the use of this if we can't face everything together?"

The small shaking of Misaki's frail shoulders grew. Until he was hiccuping like a child searching for his place.

"You said I am the only love you know!" Misaki sniffed. "I haven't had the guts to say this before but you're my home Usagi-san...I want to return to the way we were before!"

* * *

The old man just listened to everything what Misaki said without a change of expression. To an old man with all the experience in the world, what Misaki might have said was just colorful nonsense leading to nothing. It wasn't realistic and it wouldn't ease hungry stomachs. But he didn't say anything. He just watched.

And when Misaki finally looked calm and already done, the old man cleared his throat once again.

"That was indeed a long answer, Takahashi-san," he smiled. "Do you have anymore to say?"

Misaki nodded.

"One more thing..." he muttered then drew another deep breath. "If you will just base a human's worth just because of their preference, then you're way of judgement is twisted."

Silence. A long, deafening one.

"I hope you feel better now, Takahashi-san?" the old man nodded at the emcee and the woman approached the Chief Judge. A piece of white paper had been passed around the long table together with a separate yellowish one. No doubt, the verdict. "Well then, I guess we can continue now?"

It was only after releasing his grip on the microphone did Misaki felt exhaustion in his body. He thought he wouldn't be able to reach the end of the line. He dragged his heavy feet towards number 60 whose name he couldn't anymore remember.

The act was slow, and painful to watch. And yet with a surprised look, Misaki turned his head at the growing sound of people clapping for him.

_What..._

It wasn't a clap of total acceptance of who he was and his relationship. But these people knew that Misaki's courage to say all of the things he said on live broadcast was something needing of appreciation. On second thought, they couldn't totally say that what the teen had said was wrong.

And so their claps filled the hall. And like a domino effect, unstoppable and inevitable, from the hall itself to the people outside, they started clapping. To be honest some people didn't even know why they were clapping with the others. There was just something in them that was moved and only through clapping they could express it. And so, with Misaki's hazy green eyes, he walked with his head up high.

_I will never regret a thing I did tonight...Never..._

A faint sound of a bell ringing, the emcee went back to her spot with the white paper in hand.

"The result for the Sonate Music Competition Year XXXX is now in my hands. This journey has been indeed colorful and full of surprises. And the Sonate Committee is thanking everyone, the viewers, the sponsors, the composers and the competitors as well. Without you, this wouldn't have been possible..."

The camera panned to each of the nervous faces on the screen. And as the event inside was being broadcasted, the expectant faces of the people outside were also being shown.

Usami looked once more at the LCD screens with an expression no one could describe. He started taking steps. Slowly, he moved forward. So different from earlier, people started moving out of his way. With hushed voices, they gave way to Usami Akihiko. A straight line of space was before Usami, the showbusiness crew was left on the side.

He walked and walked feeling once more the clenching feeling inside as if his heart was being twisted. This time, he could get to Misaki without any barrier. But now that he knew any minute he could see the boy with his own eyes, the fright was growing.

How he would react? How he would act? He might breakdown just by the sight of Takahashi Misaki in front of him, flesh and blood. They'd been so far away from each other for a long time that it was like a nightmare that went for eternity.

The automatic doors welcomed Usami, the beeping red scanner flying off right away.

Usami Akihiko's back was the last thing the viewers saw after the man had finally, after sweat and blood, entered Ishikawa Ongakudo.

* * *

"SMC Third Place," the woman paused as if she wanted his sparking diamonds be highlighted. "Congratulations and please step forward..." there was no drum roll effect. But it gave off the same feeling as if there was. The emcee glanced one more time at the results in her hands making everyone more tense.

The line of competitors maintained a straight face. There were only four winners in Sonate. The Third, Second, First and Grand winner or the Champion. They already accepted that they could be going home empty handed. But the experience being a part of it could also be considered as a medal of honor.

Despite the thumping nervousness inside of their chests, they could look forward with pride. Besides, a competition would always be composed of winners. There would be no losers in an event where everyone gained confidence and knowledge, that was how a real artist should view life and every competition they'd face.

"Third Place, Congratulations...Shiba Souji. Sagao Aiko's representative."

A flood of claps filled the entire hall. In truth many had predicted that this man had a huge chance of getting the Sonate Trophy, but life was always unpredictable and he ended up as the third.

The people who placed money on their bets were now getting more nervous as well. Hoping that their bets would win.

The moment princely Shiba Souji had taken his bow and badge, a one hundred percent gold with a single diamond at the center that served as the head of the music note which was Sonate's logo, the emcee smiled at the cameras.

"The Second Place for this years SMC..." she looked at the row of competitors. Some girls started holding hands. Some of the men just tapped each other on the shoulder. Camaraderie building after the fight. "Please step forward, Yawara Seri. Tanaka Hirose's representative."

Ijuuin Kyo stood from his seat which gathered a questioning look from Io. The darkhaired man just clapped with no facial reaction.

Tanaka Hirose was one of Ijuuin Kyo's music instructors when he was still in the academy. The one who blatantly ridiculed Misaki on the official listings. True the man wasn't kind, but as a student, Ijuuin still have a respect for the man's ability to bring the best out of his beautiful student Yawara Seri.

As the announcement to the Sonate Music Competition Champion was nearing, the suspence was also growing thicker and thicker in the atmosphere.

Usami Akihiko entered the hall silently. Almost as if he was a cat not catching attention. Everyone was caught up with the results that many people didn't care who the man walking down the red carpeted steps was. Stopping in the middle, he was completely hidden by the shadows casted by the pure focused lights on the stage. There he stood, with his eyes fixed at the last one on the line. Only it was Misaki he could see.

"And now...the First Place of this year's Sonate," the woman smiled enjoying the suspence she was creating. The camera again flashing the competitors faces. "Congratulations...Kobayashi Taki. Hidemi Sayaka's representative..."

The thunderous claps were deafening. Their rythm jamming with the thumping of everyone's heart as the competition was nearing its end.

It would have been just everyone's imagination, but the stage, the lights and everything in Sonate felt like time halted. Everyone, not just the competitors but the audience in and out of the hall could feel goosebumps crawling on their skins.

The closing theme song for Sonate resonated faintly, and when the emcee walked towards the center of the stage, taking her spot between the Third, the Second and the First placers, the world grew silent.

Ijuuin made his way towards the front of the stage, leaving his seat.

Io stood together with the other VIPs with expectant faces. He wasn't going to admit it but he wanted Misaki to win.

The whole Zone Management, the hospital with Arisaka and Takahiro all together in their hearts prayed that Misaki win it.

Despite fuming in anger that Usami Akihiko broke the agreement of him going abroad, the music consultants; Hidori and Agawa smiled at each other knowingly. They could only support their friend Usami Akihiko and prayed for all the best for Misaki.

And Sora-chan, with her neck almost breaking from all the looking up she did at the electronic boards in the airport danced around that her Misa-nii would win.

On the other hand, Misaki just fixed his eyes at the blinding lights above his head. He wouldn't regret what he did, but if he didn't win, he knew he'd still feel hurt. So he looked up to prepare himself.

"Sonate Music Competition Champion is..." the woman drew a deep breath as she started opening the seperate black envelope handed to her. The cameras, simultaneously focusing on the competitors' faces, the view outside, the view inside the hall and at the black envelope being opened. It was a tension worth remembering in history.

"The Sonate Music Competition Champion this year..." the woman looked at the faces looking back at her. She turned her gaze at the long table of judges and the faces of the audiences in the hall as well.

She knitted her brows which sent the whole media speculating. Gossips around, rumors spreading, everything in connection to the final winner of the competition swirling into an uncontrollable jumble.

Misaki closed his eyes.

"The Sonate Music Competition Champion Year XXXX..." she dropped her hand holding the envelope on her side and faced the cameras straight on. "The Grand Winner for this Year's Sonate Music Competition...is vacant."

* * *

**Chapter end Notes:**

**yoh minna-san! thank you for your patience and kind words. i appreciate all of them!^^...and to those who've told me my Sekaiichi Hatsukoi Doujinshi was funny, domo! **

**for those who haven't...please check it out too^^ ehehe**

** tm bl r . co /Zo_g9uhtDhji**

**-shuusetsu (^з^)- Chu!**


	37. Symbol

hello! sorry for the late update.^^ my oneshot manga is taking my time and rewatching yami no matsuei too! heheeh^^

* * *

**【【【 ****Symbol 】】】**

* * *

It took a couple of minutes before the announcement sunk in. And when everyone thought they finally understood what they heard, they realized that they don't get a thing.

"Vacant? What's that supposed to mean?"

"There's no winner for this year's Sonate?"

"What is going on?"

The silence that took over was replaced by an uproar. Questions and more questions murked their understandings. There were so many competitors and yet the grand place would be vacant?

Everyone was just talking and voicing out their comments that they formed a one unbreakable indistinct sound. Outside the building, inside the hall and households and people on the streets stopped from whatever they were doing. Sure Sonate in reality didn't have anything to do with them. They couldn't care less who was the winner.

However, Sonate was a part of the culture they have been brought up to. And to actually see something they were so used to turn out in an unexpected way was a little hard to fathom and accept. Same with beliefs and everything else.

Misaki was there at the last line of equally confused competitors on the stage. He merely blinked a couple of times when he heard the announcement. Perhaps he was again being delayed in processing things.

_I lost?_ Misaki thought to himself while clearly focusing his eyes at the bright lights. It was hurting his eyes but he couldn't help staring at them. _I see...I really did lose._

He knew it coming. He knew that what he did the last few weeks, he threw them away on his own. But hearing it, the result being shoved to his face mercilessly, no matter how much one prepared himself for the impact, it would always be a huge, painful blow.

Misaki had a blank expression. And yet the tears were unmistakingly making their way out of his wide eyes like a stream. Slowly and silently, he cried.

The blinding lights above his head was fierce. So fierce that he could only see white.

_I don't regret it.._.Misaki mumbled. But remembering the sleepless nights, the strict studying and the happy faces of everyone close to his heart cheering him on, it was a huge lump in his throat. _But it sure hurts...losing hurts..._

It was indeed Misaki's first loss. The first competition he poured his everything into. For a teen like him, a feeling of losing like that was something new. It was just a feeling all over the place he didn't know what to do of.

_I'm so lame...crying like this..._

He kept on looking at the lights. He did just so he could find something else to turn his attention to. When a whole louder wave of murmurs inside the hall errupted, Misaki couldn't see a thing from the after effects of staring at something fiercely bright.

Misaki felt a cool breeze crawl on his skin. And heard some surprised gasping from the person beside him.

The teen thought he was going to fall after feeling a hand grab him from behind, and yet his fall was interrupted by a warm, soft presence he couldn't make out.

_This scent.._.Misaki thought his heart had stopped. _This warmth and scent...?_

The whisperings just grew more intense, more pronounced.

"U-Usagi-san?" it came as just a breath as he realized he was locked to the prison he wanted too bad.

Misaki thought he would break from the strong arms wrapped around him. He felt like he was sinking into the man's chest. As he did so, he could feel and hear the wild beating of the heart against his ear.

The young man squinted to adjust his eyes but it was only still faint white and a dark silhouette he could see. Hearing only a hoarse breathing, feeling the warm breath on his skin, Misaki was sure, it was Usami Akihiko, his Usagi-san.

"You did great. I'm really proud of you," came the familiar, low and deep voice that for a long time Misaki hadn't heard of. It reached every inch on his soul.

Hearing it overwhelmed Misaki's insides. . He gave in into the painful feeling in his chest that he was trying to surpress and his once blank face, moved into a picture of mixed relief and loss. Misaki could only bury his face on the combination of sweat, mixed with an alluring cologne wafting around him.

"Hugging me in public...Baka..." Misaki sobbed liked a child. He missed this. And to be honest, he didn't care anymore. What was there to hide? He had already opened up his deepest secrets to the whole world the only thing important was that he was finally meeting flesh to flesh with this reassuring presence.

"Misaki..."

"Mmm?"

"Thank you...although this wasn't the original plan...thank you."

Misaki smiled feeling strongly the cold wetness falling down on his shoulders. "Thank you for what?"

"For choosing me."

* * *

"We request everyone to please give a moment of silence. Again, on behalf of everyone in the Sonate Committee, we are asking for your patience and understanding. The Chief Judge of this competition has something to say."

The voice of emcee woman was cold and strict. Truthfully, never in Sonate history has this happened. To have the highest place be vacant only meant two things.

Usami though he didn't want to release Misaki from his hold. Eyes precariously wet, the man wiped Misaki's tear streaked face with his thumb before giving a serious look.

"Stand firm on this till the end," his hands holding Misaki's shoulders, Usami stared directly into the green eyes firmly. "I'm never going to let go...my support is always yours. Raise your head, whatever you might hear."

Frowning, Misaki cockily grinned. "You don't have to tell me, baka Usagi..."

Was it that really magical that it felt so much lighter, everything felt so much lighter when Usagi-san was there so near to Misaki? This ruckus shouldn't have happened in the first place if both of them, Usagi not letting his instinc to protect get ahead of him and Misaki, not letting his fright of stepping out and be seen by too many knowing eyes scare him. At a closer look, their own love and mistakes for each other brought them to this situation.

Their impulsiveness was both stupid and heroic.

Though it wasn't communicated that time, the two inside their hearts and mind learned one thing they'd carry forever. Transparency.

And if they have come to realize another thing. It was that what they feel wasn't fleeting. It was strong enough to drive them to this extent.

Eyes still a little cloudy, Misaki watched the back of his man go down the stage.

_"I guess...being now able to go out with you in public...is one of the million trophies I got from this competition..."_

* * *

"What a touching scene you have there...Usami..."

Usami stopped from his tracks and threw a glance at Ijuuin Kyo who was standing near the stage. They looked eye to eye for a short moment but to the two, it felt so long. It was a stare of two men sizing up each other.

"For teaching Misaki, you did fine."

Ijuuin snorted. "That goes without saying."

Usami just smirked before continuing to walk.

"You can have a seat next to us. It's free anyway."

Lavender eyes to black, it was never a good combination when it came to these to men. But for just that situation, they sat on a row of people whose support to Misaki was unquestionable.

"Io?"

"Akihiko-san...hi?"

Io was still the brat that he was and when he saw Usami Akihiko approaching, he took over Ijuuin Kyo's seat so he could sit beside the silverhaired man. Ijuuin just shook his head when he realized his seat has been taken and he was left to sit beside the old, classy woman.

"Why are you crying?" Usami asked concerned after taking his seat. Ijuuin couldn't help but to look.

"N-nothing. I'm not crying!" the teen barked, fixing the dark glasses on his eyes.

Usami looked at the brown head beside him and reached out. Ruffling the hair, Usami sighed, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry...? Stop it..."

Though the conversation of the two was vague, Ijuuin wasn't simple minded not to be able to read between the lines. He just threw a glance at the sniffing mess beside him before focusing his attention towards Misaki.

Ijuuin watched Misaki appreciatively. From his seat he could still clearly see the puffy, teary eyes of the teen and the serious expression on Misaki's face. He sure had another strong glow of determination and pride as he stood there after admitting he was into the same sex.

Funny, blockhead at times, hardworking. He really did liked and loved Misaki for that short span of time they were together.

"Cheeky brat..." Ijuuin muttered to himself pertaining to Io. "...aren't we on the same boat?"

* * *

"Did you see that? Oh my gooood..."

To even just a mere looker who didn't know what was going on, the way that hug in front of everyone was just something. It wasn't lewd. It wasn't very intimate, and yet it just has this different feel to it. Many things just happened that many couldn't process where to put all the weird emotions they felt watching two males confess their love for each other.

It wasn't usual. It wasn't normal. But an act out of pure feelings was inevitably a strong push even to the rigid minded people. Maybe because love is a universal thing.

""We request everyone to please give a moment of silence. Again, on behalf of everyone in the Sonate Committee, we are asking for your patience and understanding. The Chief Judge of this competition has something to say."

The waves of low chatterings died away. Cameras focused at the face of the calm-looking old man, everyone waited for what he had to say.

"This has been a long day, isn't it?" he started. He just stood from his seat with his other hand again on his chest. "We had a lot of very talented competitors this year...I'm so glad."

His gray eyes surrounded by lines from age ad experience ran from the very first to the last person on the neat line of young promising music artists. He sighed and then looked at the audience.

"The result might have been a shock to each and everyone, but it's just as you heard it. Vacant," he paused as if already tired. "The seat is empty."

"It was a decision that we arrived from computing all the criterias and requirements. Sad to say, though one met the criterias, this specific person failed one of the most important requirements..."

The more the man talked, the more the people watching got to have the picture of who should have really won.

"It's not just because it was an awesome performance we look into, respect for others as well. Being gravely not on time is an utmost disrespect not just to the other competitors but to the entire body that makes the competition..."

Eyes on the stage almost drilled a hole on Misaki's face. While the teen himself could only stare at the old man.

"Also, this part of the Sonate rule that says 'no indecent relationship or scandal to maintain the sacredness of Sonate...' was clearly violated, though I for myself would not call such a relationship as 'indecent'. Just unusual," he added. "However, it is what the Sonate rules state and rules are not made to be broken. We already bended it for this certain person...but breaking it is a whole different matter."

_What is he talking about?_ Misaki thought while feeling goosebumps running on his skin._ It's really...me?_

The old man cleared his throat. "May I humbly ask, Takahashi Misaki to please take a step forward?"

When Misaki heard his name, he thought something pierced his chest down to his stomach. He looked confused for a moment, but remembering what his Usagi-san told him, Misaki stepped forward, facing the shocked faces of the people in the boxes. And if he could only see the people watching outside, he would have surely laughed at their confused looks.

"Takahashi-san...do you regret anything?"

Misaki started weeping on the spot. He searched his entire being for an ounce of this emotion called 'regret'. He really felt a loss, but regret was nowhere to be found.

The teen looked at the small familiar figure from afar first. He was more than a winner having that man for himself. Though reality wise his decision was stupid, what he did and sacrificed led him to be happier than how he would be if he actually got the title with him yet not being able to stay with Usami Akihiko.

He could only smile while shaking his head in a firm 'no'.

"Very well..." the old man nodded and smiled at Misaki before nodding at the emcee.

The woman in black, sparkling with diamonds on her ears and neck walked towards Misaki.

It was a feeling of shock and disbelief for Misaki and for the entire audience in all parts of Japan as they watched the beautiful woman hand the clueless teen the golden music note, Sonate Music Competition's Grand Trophy.

Misaki looked at it as if it was an alien object being presented to him. "Why?"

After hearing everything what the old man said, why were they handing Misaki a symbol of Sonate as if he was one of those who won? Not just someone who won, he was suddenly being handed the grand trophy.

"I as the Chief Judge and President of Sonate, and on behalf of entire Sonate Committee, presents Takahashi Misaki...as your Sonate Music Competition Year XXXX Grand Winner."

It was an utter silence all around like everyone was just dreaming. Or hearing something utterly unbelievable.

Misaki couldn't even bring himself to touch the gleaming object.

_Why? What happened to the 'rules are not made to be broken'?_

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

thank you as always for your time and kind words. can't thank you guys enough! ^^

grahahaha...i dont know but i am excited for something...anyway...please also look forward to my manga (oneshot) it's quiet dramatic...hehehe

DOMO...i have to go to sleep now...will respond after waking in my dream land.^^

-shuusetsu...

oyasuminasai!


	38. Change

minna-san konnichi wa! :*:・(^∀^)・:*:

To the precious readers and guests: **LET'S WORK OUR IMAGINATIONS, SHALL WE?**

this is a song composed both by Usami Akihiko and Ijuuin Kyo

and this is a Takahashi Misaki and Io collaboration

**this is the result: tm blr . co/Zo_g9uimmb8R**

* * *

**【【【****Change】】】**

* * *

_A white paper has been passed around the long, oval table covered in white fabric. On top of it were microphones attached, bottles of water and tea and coffee. Pens and pencils too for taking down notes. And laptops where they also watch what was happening outside the hall, and also for looking at the floods of feed back in their official site._

_As the whole audience was busy taking their breaks, eating, drinking or simply socializing and making crazy guesses for the competition, the ten judges, also the ones making up the board of Sonate Committee was busy looking into the scores they have given. Some gave scores like they haven't even thought about it that much. Perhaps because of old age and being used to the craft that they didn't need all numbers to compute. They do it by hearing and listening._

_They hear what the music sounds, every physical aspect of it. And they listen to the depth, meaning and the things concerned with emotions. They have mastered it. That was never a question._

_"It's an obvious win," a man with a thin physique muttered, tapping his pen on the side of his chair._

_The woman beside the man who just mumbled looked around her. The third, second and first placers were already decided. But she could see through her gray eyes the frowns and anxiety with the faces of the other judges as they ponder what to do with the grand winner._

_"What do we do now? 36...his results exceeded the criterias. But what he did earlier, he couldn't be announced as this year's winner."_

_People in their fifties and sixties exchanged sighs while still thinking what to do. They couldn't say the first placer would be the grand winner and everyone goes a step forward. That was stupid. The winner was only the one who got it. Scandal or not, Takahashi Misaki was the one. However, the rules were binding them._

_"Then we have no choice but to leave the place empty. We cannot choose an unfit representative for this year's Sonate," Hibara, the woman who wanted to disqualify Misaki earlier concluded._

_The Chief Judge raised his hand to call the other's attention. "Say, we take this opportunity to revise some of Sonate's rules? It's a waste and to think, isn't what we're trying to do discrimination and prejudice?"_

_Many eyes looked from the old man to their own score sheets, pondering what the man just said. It didn't sound wrong, but ignoring the rules they had been following ever since was a decision hard to make. Not to mention they were all conservative people to begin with._

_Hibara took her red-rimmed glasses off her nose and tapped her score sheet with her index finger. "Sorry Chief Judge, but you intend to break the rules for number 36?" she raised a thin brow. "He is in an indecent relationship, he's a very bad example. If we label him as the grand winner, he'll be carrying Sonate's image. That's an unlikely sight to behold."_

_Some nodded, some looked torn where to side._

_"Hibara-san...I don't think what you're saying is bad...but it's also being unfair to 36...after all, talent wise...he's got it," the small woman beside the Chief Judge countered. Her black pearls accentuating the golden hues of her sharp eyes._

_The feel of the atmosphere surrounding them grew heavy. It was as if they were deciding a life and death matter. No one wanted their ideas to be ignored. As these old people always get what they wanted to happen, having the authority bestowed to them._

_With a gentle smile, the Chief Judge, probably the oldest among them stood and placed a brown paper on the center of the table._

_"I suggest we do it the diplomatic way," he tapped on the paper with his pencil. "Those who are in favor of making changes, sign your name on the right side, those who don't then please on the left side. I won't take part of it as it was my idea and to avoid making it work to my favor, I'll leave everything to you."_

_Many of them looked surprised. Many had an obvious objection etched on their lined foreheads. However, they did as they were told._

_The oldest man took the paper off the table after its round._

_"Eh...let's see..." fine white brows furrowed for a moment and then he looked at the pair at the farthest side of the table. "I see Mr. and Mrs. Takatsuki, both of you are not in favor..." he muttered sadly._

_He sighed like he was feeling sorry not just for the Takahashi Misaki but also for the entire future of Sonate. Has this sacred event turned to be this rigid and inflexible under his nose without him noticing? It was too sad._

_"Majority voted to leave the grand winner's place empty with five votes."_

_The Chief Judge looked across the judges and smiled a defeated smile. "Does anyone wishes to make changes?"_

_Silence. No one moved. No one even looked at each other._

_"Very well then..." the old man sat on his seat. "This year's Sonate grand winner is empty."_

* * *

_Five people ignored the flood of messages on their feedback page. Messages from people stating their views of what was going on. How they feel moved by a meer teenager's courage to admit the taboo. How Takahashi Misaki should win._

_The judges watched the emcee call on the winners one by one. They watched it with mixed emotions. Having the most important place in that competition vacant felt like a knawing emptiness too. It felt sad, but it would always be the majoority that would have the final say._

"Sonate People, I think you have to do some changes with your rigid rules."

"This is a music competition right? I'm just reminding you Sonate Committee."

"I don't know but I have a feeling 36 should win. Even a ordinary person could see that."

"I agree with 36! 'If you will just base a human's worth just because of their preference, then you're way of judgement is twisted.'"

_These were just some of the feedbacks that were flooding the site._

_After the third placer was called, the emcee proceded into announcing the second placer. Mr. and Mrs. Takatsuki, both in intricate Kimonos looked at the stage with their eyes at the number 36 standing on the last line._

_"I don't understand kids these days anymore..." Mrs. Takatsuki whispered while holding her husband's hand. "That Takahashi-kun...even our own Shinobu."_

_The man held his wife's hand tighter, feeling the same disapppointment when their son suddenly blurted he was gay and was going out with no less than the ex-husband of their daughter. It wasn't even the age gap that was the problem. The whole thing of male and male was the problem. It wasn't normal. It was creepy._

_And it has been a year since Takatsuki Shinobu cut ties with his family. No. It was his own family that cut him off from them._

_"And now...the First Place of this year's Sonate," the woman emcee smiled enjoying the suspence she was creating. The camera again flashing the competitors faces. "Congratulations...Kobayashi Taki. Hidemi Sayaka's representative..."_

_The darkhaired man frowned at the message alert on his laptop. He could only look at the sender with mouth half open._

_"Shinobu?"_

_At the sound of the name, Mrs. Takatsuki looked at the screen as well. Her hand on her chest._

"I don't know if you will even read this. I know you're older than me and that you're mad at me. But please don't let your anger at your son being gay cloud your decision for the Sonate. It was you who taught me to be focused. And I'm going to tell you even if it's not the right time and even no matter how many times I have to; me being gay doesn't have anything to do with the things I will achieve in the future.

Takahashi Misaki, I don't know music. You know it better than I do being part of that committee for the longest time. It might be rude to say this, but Sonate is a competition to give way to one's dreams, right? He's gay and he admitted it. That doesn't make him, me and all the other gays there any less human than the rest of the crowd.

I won't ask you forgive all gays. Just give credit to those who deserve it.

Sorry for sounding like lecturing you.

Ps.

Happy Wedding Anniversary

Love,  
Shinobu"

_Silently weeping on her seat, Mrs. Takatsuki just pursed her lips. The man deleted the message right away. And both of them watched the awarding at hand._

_"The Sonate Music Competition Champion Year XXXX..." the emcee dropped her hand holding the envelope on her side and faced the cameras straight on. "The Grand Winner for this Year's Sonate Music Competition...is vacant."_

_Tears like falling diamonds on her cheeks, Mrs. Takatsuki looked away from the stage. She couldn't bring herself to look any longer than Takahashi Misaki. Looking at the boy felt like looking at her own son. For the first time, she felt the impact of seeing with her own eyes what they did to their own son._

_Inside she knew that seventy percent of her decision not to agree with doing this exception was because of her own son. It was slapped to her cheeks how prejudiced she was._

_All the judges could hear the anxious buzzing of the people in the hall. They were confused and disappointed._

_"Don't cry dear."_

_"I-sorry...I want to change my vote!"_

_"Huh?"_

_"This...this isn't right...we're putting our frustrations on our own son with 36...I know and YOU know..." she trailed off looking at the eyes of her husband with pain._

_Takatsuki-san tapped his wife's shoulders lightly before going to the Chief Judge biting the tip of his pen._

_"Uhm, excuse me...Me and my wife has something to say..."_

* * *

"That's what happened..." the old man ended. Leaving out the family situation of the married couple that talked to him to the last minute.

Misaki's wide eyes looked still as confused and disbelieving as ever. He looked at the trophy and at the smiling woman who probably was already having cramps from holding out the heavy trophy to the teen.

"For real?" Misaki whispered. He couldn't believe it. It was so unreal.

"It's all yours. It belongs to you..."

It was like seeing the golden pot at the end of the rainbow. And this time, it was reality for Misaki.

"This is mine?" the teen with hands shaking slowly reached for the golden object. He looked at the audiences with mouths in silent gasps. When he looked back at the trophy, it wasn't the object he was seeing but the faces of the people who helped him reach there he was standing now.

"Thank you..." he cried inside his head. "Thank you Kami-sama..."

The golden Note, shimmered under the heavy lightings. But instead of the gold, Takahiro's face flashed before him.

He could be sure that his brother would be taken care properly for the rest of his life with the prize money. The effort of Ijuuin Kyo didn't go to waste. The wake up call from Arisaka, Sora-chan, the rest who offered him a smile and believed in him, and the reason he even dreamed of being a composer and singer, Usami Akihiko. They were the ultimate prize. And the trophy was the object incarnate of all these.

"We actually would like to thank you, Takahashi-san for joining Sonate..."

"Huh?"

"We realized our own rigidness and the unequal barrier that we have set up for this competition," the old man continued. "We have been following these rules ever since the start of Shōwa Period, and it's shameful to admit but we have to. Us people leading Sonate have lost sight of its goal. Welcoming talents...and opening up to the world that changes so fast. In other terms; flexibility and equality."

The audiences listened well, and somehow, they felt a little guilty as well hearing the 'rigidness' and 'unequal' words.

Despite being the Chief Judge, the old man gave praise by bowing at Misaki. "You taught us a great lesson tonight. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be the winner. You have the talent...and most of all the determination to stand up and own up to your words."

"Congratulations to the Sonate Grand Winner XXXX, 36, Takahashi Misaki!"

It was hard to believe, but the people seemed to have accepted the decision as well, hearing the Chief and hearing Misaki, and also remembering how splendid his performance was. He was indeed deserving.

And so, they clapped for the teen. A genuine clap for a job well done. A genuine clap for his courage. A genuine clap for pushing through.

They drowned Misaki their claps until their palms hurt. Inside the hall, outside the venue, people in the streets or households, they had to admit, they were surprisingly happy about the result.

When Misaki held the heavy object in his hands, feeling the weight of the responsibility of it and his dreams attached to it, the teen lost his strenght and his knees bended reaching the floor. Hugging the trophy tightly, his never ending gratitude and tears soaking the golden object, Takahashi Misaki raised his head with a wide smile of not the prideful winner, but a thankful person that has been accepted.

"T-thank you very much! Thank you very much! Thank you...Thank y-" he couldn't finish it. He became a crying mess in front of everyone.

Usami was there, standing while clapping his hands. His face full of adoration and admiration to his precious lover. He could even feel the beating of his heart so wild it was painful. The sight of his lover's victory felt like he won an impossible fight as well.

Ijuuin was just smiling. His eyes, a little hot from mixed emotions. _"That little idiot...gave me so many worries...I'm glad...you did it."_

Io was there clapping. But he was feeling a different emotion. The want to hurriedly run the gap Misaki had created. The fire in him to stand up and make his own dream come true was ablaze. Thanks to Misaki.

And to all those who knew Misaki, Zone, the hospital and the people who could remember Misaki running on the streets, in the trains, they all felt happy for soome reason. Genuine happiness and thankfulness were indeed contagious.

"Takahiro...he did it! He did it!"

"He did..." the brother mumbled smiling. "He really is full of surprises..."

"I'm...so proud..." Arisaka calmed down while watching the weeping mess in his laptop.

* * *

After all the formalities of facing the Sonate Committee, of facing the entire audience, of staying until the end of the event, Takahashi Misaki found himself sitting on one of the seats in the lower boxes. His trophy on his lap as he gazed at the stage where he cried, screamed and fought.

The music hall was already deserted. It was deafeningly silent and somehow cold. Dimly lit but he could still clearly see the stage, the long judges' table and the once bright lights. It has ended and yet it has just began.

"I didn't know it's just small..." Misaki whispered running his hand on the cold and smooth surface of his trophy.

"Small what?"

Misaki thought his heart would jump out from his chest. Surprised by the sudden voice that broke out his silence, Misaki turned his head and saw Usami Akihiko standing before him.

That was the only time Misaki realized that he was really alone in the music hall and it was just him and the older man the only living soul in it.

"I mean, the stage. I thought it to be so big...but it was just small..." Misaki answered looking back at the stage.

A huge hand found its way on Misaki soft hair and rested there. Usami fixed his eyes at the stage as well while gently feeling the soft strands under his palm.

"It looks huge at first because of fear and uncertainties...but now that you have overcome this specific challenge, you'd see that there would be a bigger challenge ahead..."

Misaki smiled.

"I know...I just realized it..."

The silence won again and Misaki couldn't help but to look up at the pair of lavender eyes he missed so much. Usami smiled, his lips, his eyes, everything on his face just looked bright.

"Shall we head home now? Together?"

Swallowing yet again another round of crying from being overwhelmed, Misaki stood and took the extended huge hand to him. He held on to it tightly, their fingers tangled together. This time, they could walk side by side without hiding. They could stand without looking down. And the best part? They didn't have to pretend anymore.

* * *

They were hungry. So much hungry for each other that even if they wanted to talk, words weren't just enough. They were in a state of hunger more than ever.

The undeniable need and want to taste each others flesh was there. To have the scent and warmth of each others' skin that felt like an extension of both their bodies. It was hot. It was intense. And they just kept the silence as they listened to their own pulse drumming inside their systems.

The right hand man of Usami just drove quietly. It was as if he had become one with air. Despite that, the two people in the backseat of the car just looked straight ahead. Their fingers intertwined with one another.

Usami squeezed the small, soft hand inside his. Misaki squeezed back. Usami squeezed once more. Misaki did the same. It was almost a comical scene as they kept squeezing back each others' hands. But there was one thing both of them knew. That each fingers in place with the spaces between their own hands, they fit perfectly. Like they were a part of a puzzle and they were the pieces that make it whole.

Both knew the ache and want, because though they were squeezing back the hands in a cyle as the car drove the past midnight roads in silence, they could feel the heavy trembling in both hands. The queezing back act was like how they wanted to be reassured that they were finally sitting next together. That this wasn't a dream or hallucination. That finally they could walk out the world hand in hand. That they wouldn't let go. Such knowledge were still too heavy that they could only crave for one another's presence to be sure that everything was real.

* * *

Misaki looked up the familiar exclusive condominium. He was there that morning anyway. He was there in that empty flat feeling like an empty shell.

"Have a nice night, Usami-sama...Takahashi-kun..."

The old man had opened up the door for Usami, and the man not letting go of the hand locked in his, he pulled the teen out as well.

"Thank you Orihara-san. See you later."

The elevator ride was silent yet it wasn't awkward. It was the silence of something coming. Silence of screaming emotions they didn't know anymore where to put.

Both men just looked at the blinking lights of the floors they had passed. Their hands tightly holding each others'. And finally, the elevator reached the top floor. It rang with a sharp "ding". And when the doors of the mechanical lift opened, the hurry and impatience took over as both of them walked briskly towards the empty flat.

When the door closed and locked automatically behind them, all reasonings were left outside.

In haste, Usami had pulled Misaki's face to his and instantly devoured the soft, sweet lips of the teen. Misaki was in no mood to act coy. Or even if he was embarrassed as hell, he knew he couldn't anymore deny the fact that he badly wanted to be connected with this man biting on his lips.

They kissed. They bit like hungry beasts. Tongues pushing each other. The intensity of their lip locking made their lips raw. The strings of saliva dripping from the corner of Misaki's lips showing the desire that was pent up far too long. The teen swallowed all Usami had given him. And it drove Usami to his limit.

Misaki pushed Usami a little away with one hand. "W-wait..."

"I can't anymore, Misaki..." the man began taking the moists lips of the teen once more. However, the passionate kiss he was expecting didn't come and instead a pinch on the arm was what he got.

"Aww...that hurts..." he muttered in a deep voice oozing with desire.

"I said wait..." Misaki frowned. "I'll have to put this down, right?"

Usami almost laughed at the stupidity of the situation. He was all to carried away he had forgotten that Misaki was still carrying the heavy golden trophy.

"Now...where to put it?" Misaki mumbled as he looked around. There was nothing to place the trophy to. Not a single furniture was there. It was only the seemingly never ending polished wooded floors of the now empty living room that the teen could see. The huge glass sliding doors, curtainless, allowing the brightness of the early morning moon enter the dim flat.

Without choice, Misaki decided to just put the trophy on the floor.

Gently, he placed it down. The moon's rays shining on it was giving it a different feel.

When Misaki stood once more, he saw his Usagi-san watching him in the middle of the room, his body under the hypnotic lights the night was giving.

Without any second thoughts this time, Misaki ran to his man, eager to share body heat and everything and share emotions actions could only convey.

In the middle of the empty living room, under the moon's light, before Misaki's Golden Note Trophy, they did what lovers do.

* * *

It was a mystery to Misaki how a kiss could be both blissful and destructive. The sensations in his mouth was ticklish, wet and dirty as if Usami was actually trying to show Misaki what they would be actually doing, thrusting of the tongue to claim him. A preview of the main act. Destructive because it made him throw all reasoning. With only his thin white long sleeved shirt as his back's protection againts the floor, his back felt cold.

"It's been a while..." Usami whispered on Misaki's flushed ear while his hands were carressing the lenght of teen's arm and leg. "It's going to be quiet painful..."

Misaki, to Usami's surprise licked the side of his neck. The wetness made his skin crawl.

Raising his small hands to cup the face of his man, Misaki stared deep into the pair of glinting lavender eyes. "What are you saying...baka...don't worry Usagi-san..."

Throwing all self consciousness, Misaki moved his lips closer to the man's ear, his breath flowing inside the sensitive skin. "It's not just you who want it...I want it too..." Never in Usami thought that Misaki, would have the courage to bite the lobe of his ear. He was quiet speechless and struck at the act. When Misaki faced again Usami, the teen had a sweet, smiling face despite the fierce flushed skin.

"...I want it...very badly."

* * *

He slipped his cold hands inside the half open white polo shirt of the teen while his other hand was supporting Misaki's head. He started fondling with the sensitive bud with his expert fingers, circling the pinkish area until it started to swell.

Misaki's both hands were carressing the older man's chiselled biceps. As if just his own way of saying carry on. And in all honesty for Usami, it was the major turn on to feel Misaki's hands touching him.

Deeply red, Misaki couldn't stop lustic moans from his raw lips while his lover kept on sucking the tip of his ear. The wet sound of Usami's tongue, the kiss on his ear and his hairline and the sensation on his chest was already too much he felt like something inside him was about to explode.

"We'll do it really slow...I want to eat you slowly..."

It was only a whimper as Misaki's response after Usami had yanked open Misaki's shirt with some buttons falling off and sucked on one nipple. Licking it, wetting it, pressing on it, nibbling with it while the other hand was busy teasing the other unattented bud of sensitive nerves.

With every whimper and moan Misaki let out, Usami's ministrations began to feel much fiercer.

The lips feasting on the already swollen red nipple went lower. The strong muscle traced the flat and smooth skin of Misaki's stomach. His left hand began touching Misaki's cock that was already hard just from being toyed on his chest.

"I feel...weak..." Misaki whispered, his head turning left and right at the overwhelming pressure on his erection.

Usami looked at Misaki for a moment, his smiling face behind shadows looking so mysterious and erotic.

"It's fine. All you have to do is feel good..."

The teen arched his back at the light peck the older man gave, licking off the pre-cum oozing at his tip.

Misaki's head was blank. He was thinking of asking where the man got his skills for doing it, but the moment Usami swallowed his erection whole, the electricity from his lower half had shut down the thoughts on his upper body. Misaki's hand reached for the silver head in between his legs and grabbed the locks in his fingers.

The teen's shut eyes opened wide and he abruptly sat, causing Usami to look at his lover in confusion.

"What's wrong?" Usami asked, trying to reach the shocked face of Misaki.

Instead, Misaki kneeled before him and tilted his head to the side.

"I swear I remembered seeing blood earlier...I just remembered from all the stuff...but..." Misaki tilted Usami's head left and right, up and down with Usami having a happy smile on his face. He licked the collar bone of the teen showed before him and Misaki pulled back with a worried look.

"You have a wound...on the left side of your head! Usagi-san...! Let's go to the hospital!" Misaki shrieked.

"What are you saying now at a time like this?" The older man grabbed Misaki's narrow waist to his body, allowing the boy to feel how hard and needy he was.

Misaki gently touched the man's cheeks with his trembling hands. "But you're hurt..."

"It's not a big deal. It just bled but it wasn't serious."

Misaki scowled. '"I don't want you getting amnesia or something, Usagi-san!"

Hugging the teen tightly, their chests pressed together, both could feel their hearts thumping in unison. So hard and violent that it felt like their hearts were beating as one.

Playful and amused, Usami reached for Misaki's nose and pinched it lightly. "Aren't your imagination being too wild? I'm not going to get an amnesia because of such a small wound."

Swatting the hand on his nose, Misaki wriggled his slim arms around the man's neck. "Still...I'm worried..."

The tips of Misaki's nose had reddened. He looked so cute clinging to Usami like that with a pink nose that Usami had the urge to kiss it lightly. "I'll go tomorrow, provided you come with me..."

A hand slid down from Misaki's smooth back down to the teen's pert bottom and squeezed one of the soft flesh. "For now...let's continue...no more commercials anymore...okay?"

Misaki grinned, resigning to the wish of his lover. And still the innocent young boy Misaki was, the teen brushed his lips on Usami's lightly and clung desperately as the cold hand began teasing his entrance for preparation.

Panting, gasping, wet sounds, with only the two of them inside the living room with no other things to absorb whatever sound they were making, the sound felt and sounded much louder and crisp. It wasn't even just Misaki who was about to lose his mind, but the older man who was leading couldn't almost stop himself from just plunging himself into the boy. That was how eager he was to finally claim the most precious person in the world for him that had gone off for a very long time it felt eternity.

And yet he held back. He wanted Misaki not to feel any discomfort. Sex between lovers was supposed to be both desirable on both sides. And Usami was never going to allow himself forget Misaki's welfare. The teen was as tight as a virgin, he had to loosen him up properly or else, his cock, engorged just by looking at Misaki's blissful face would never be able to fit.

Misaki lost count of the minutes he felt the thrusting inside him. They were short and gentle and calculating. Stretching him more and more, he moaned. It was the most embarrassing thing in the world but he had no qualms at revealing every inch of his body to his lover. He even thought his scrawny body was nothing compared to the toned and chiseled body of the older man. Yet he bared it all.

Growing impatient, Misaki raised his upper body, his elbows on the floor.

"Usagi-sa...enoug...just...just...do...it..."

Misaki wasn't being helpful at keeping Usami's desires in check. He just put a spark on the already burning flame, and Usami gave in.

Both Misaki's legs were raised on the older man's waist dripping wet from sweat. Misaki could see both their ragged breathing take form in a light puff of smoke that instantly died away to be replaced by another.

Usami and Misaki looked straight into each other. No one looking away. And even if there was a slight picture of discomfort on Misaki's face, the teen just stared on. Feeling the hardness and the hot sensations about to enter him, Misaki remained looking at the pair of eyes. His mouth opening in a gasp when finally Usami was already sheathed inside him.

Stretched to his limit, almost to the breaking point, Misaki gasped. His fingers digging on Usami's arms as there was no bed sheet or pillow to hold on to.

Misaki couldn't help himself from shedding a tear. Despite the slight pain, the feeling of being filled with the one he loved was the most satisfying and fulfilling of all.

Leaning over Misaki, Usami brushed the wet hair of the teen plastered on his forehead and kissed the boy. The older man's tongue went in, tracing the depth of Misaki's mouth and just like in everything, Misaki opened up for Usami to take.

"I love you..." Usami whispered on Misaki's parted lips. His warm breath carressing the skin that made Misaki's muscles below clamp tightly around Usami's cock.

Misaki smiled, the traces of the previous hard kisses visible on his red lips. "Love you too..."

At the words of his young love, Usami began thrusting into Misaki again and again. His slow movements had picked up pace and before the two realized it, they were running after their breaths, both of them connected body and soul feeling the pleasure of everything.

As Usami kept on pushing up on the teen's delicate body, Misaki had unconsciously been biting on Usami's shoulder. It was hard and quiet painful, but it had a different effect on Usami. It drove the man crazier and hungrier as if his hunger would never be sated.

Misaki's moans began rising in volume too. With every thrust, Misaki's guttoral moans became more passionate and it was all music to Usami's ears he wanted to hear more. More of Misaki's moans and whisperings so bad.

"Misaki...are you alright?" Usami asked in between his own grunts.

The teen nodded, furiously blushing. "Usagi-san...you...you're getting bigger inside me..."

For a moment, Usami just stared at the gasping mess laid before him to devour. With fiercer thrustings, Usami swept the boy's lips under him and grinned. "You don't know what you seriously do to me..."

"Ahg..." As Misaki was being rocked, the teen's had almost squuezed everything out of Usami, the moment Misaki came. It only made Usami felt like he was really going to melt.

"So good inside you...Misaki..."

The teen thought he was seeing things as he saw the shimmer of something wet at the corners of Usami's eyes. However, the tears dropping on Misaki's cheeks weren't a product of Misaki's imagination. They were real tears from Usami as the man kept on marking his way inside Misaki's body.

Sniffing, Misaki hugged the man tightly. "It's alright...I'm here..."

Weak from having his orgasm, he desperately clung to Usami's neck while the other one kept on moving, hitting that spot Misaki could feel himself getting turned on again.

The teen didn't know how much and how many times he came, he was all into a different world when Usami Akihiko was inside him thrusting his way deeper into his body and soul.

When Misaki opened his eyes, he thought he had died from too much pleasure that night. Instead of the expected ache on his back, surprisingly , his back felt good. The teen blinked a couple of times before finally having his brain register what was going on.

"Last night we..." Misaki blushed just at the thought of him acting so shamelessly. But the thing that rendered him really speechless was the bed he was on, the furniture around him. The morning sun up in the sky.

"Where..."

Misaki slowly stood, the white blanket wrapped around him.

"This is Usagi-san's flat...what's going on..."

"Up already?" the voice broke Misaki's train of thoughts.

Looking behind him, Usami was there, standing so beautifully in his robe after taking a shower.

"Usagi-san...what's happening?"

"Did you like it? I had Orihara-san haul back all my things back in here."

Misaki gaped in awe. "Tha-that fast? How-how come I didn't notice?!" Misaki could only imagine Orihara-san, the old man swish and swoosh a wooden stick and everything that just went to its place.

Usami walked closer to the teen and grinned a mischievous smile. "Well you were sleeping like a log. Didn't want to break your rest after all the thru-"

"WHA! Don't say it out loud!" Misaki backed away.

Still smiling, Usami cocked his head. "But your tigh-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Usami laughed a hearty laugh at the small bundle that ran away from him. After some time, Usami walked towards Misaki sitting in a fetal position on the huge water bed, the blanket covering him.

"Say Misaki...I think you better prepare now..."

"Huh?" Misaki peeked from the sheets.

"You have a Sonate briefing..."

The mid afternoon was fierce, but Misaki's shriek was fiercer. "Ahh...I'm going to be late!"

The teen jumped off the bed towards the bathroom. He was about to open the glass doors when the teen threw a glance at Usami who was already drying his hair with a white towel.

"Uhm...Usagi-san?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are...are you coming with me?"

Usami threw the towel and took his robe off revealing his naked body in broad daylight to Misaki. The teen looked away, his heart in his throat.

"Of course I will..."

"But..." Misaki mumbled looking at the knob and not at the man. "They took you out from Sonate..."

The man raised his head to Misaki's direction and Misaki met his gaze. The smile on Usami was so pleasant Misaki felt like his heart would burst any moment. Usami didn't say anything. But Misaki knew already the answer.

"So they must have probably begged for Usagi-san to come back..." Misaki ran the shower and sighed happily. "I'm glad..."

The moment he passed the full body mirror, Misaki almost broke the glass with his scream. He was all covered with hickeys almost every part of his neck and chest, even his thighs have hickeys on it.

"That baka-Usagi..." Misaki frowned at his body, though he couldn't stop himself from blushing.

Ignoring the traces of his lover on his skin, Misaki resorted to wearing a turtle neck that day.

* * *

**Notes:**  
Whoa...smut is *blushes*...i try to avoid them whenever possible! uwaaaaaah! im so embarrassed...hohoho  
this story isn't done yet if you are asking. there should be a proper ending...and we still don't know what Io would do.^^  
still thanks for the time and kind words.

* * *

FYI: **Shōwa Period is the period starting from ****1926 to1989.**

* * *

this is a question from skadalex.:** where can we compare Ijuuin Kyo and Usami Akihiko as composers?**

i'd compare **_Ijuuin Kyo to Nobuo Uematsu_**, he's a very well known composer! If you know Final Fantasy series...he's the one!

and **_for Usami Akihiko, the composer I could probably think of is Joe Hisaishi_**.^^

both of them are legendary people in anime compositions and other songs.^^

they're not young anymore but talent wise they're superb^^.


	39. Hidden Works of Fate

_hi everybody! haru here (a.k.a. shuusetsu) in case you don't know. hahaha...thank you for all your time and kind words up until now. this story is somehow far from ending i guess since there are just stuff that needs to be done (you know stuff to settle).^^ btw...i was writing this while listening to JR BL drama CD...lol..could anyone be more perverted than that? pfft!_

_this is also sort of the beginning of Ijuuin X Io(Shizuku Ishi) Arc. _

* * *

【【【**Hidden Works of Fate**】】】

* * *

Everywhere he darted his eyes, there was almost only a specific face he could see. The streets were full of it. Tarpaulins, posters and snapshots in the electronic billboards surrounding the metropolis. Messy hair, swollen eyes, tear-streaked face; all the state of Takahashi Misaki's face when he won the Sonate Competition. Io could almost laugh outloud about it. But he stopped himself. He had no right to do such a thing. After all, he was a no one once more.

The situation had definitely become the opposite. His high pedestal sank and Misaki took over.

He walked under the chilly air of the about to end November month. His head in a red beanie, his eyes behind a nerdy looking eyeglasses with a blueframe to avoid standing out too much. His open black, long coat trailing behind him as he roamed around the streets. And his white shirt with a yellow smiling face was the exact opposite of what the teen was feeling that day. His brown boots dragging on the pavement.

"Hey! Hey, careful on removing that! We can recycle the material!" a deep voice shouted from somewhere.

Io's green eyes traced his surroundings. He whirled looking at the open establishments of the early morning and stood frozen when he turned to look behind him.

"Alright, release the rope from there at my cue, okay?" men in orange overalls filled Io's sight.

It was a piercing sight to behold for Io. It was like seeing a bad dream without anything he could do to stop it. He only watched the men take his billboard off. His smile on the giant tarpaulin slowly being taken down. Each second that Io watched his literal downfall being reenacted by his own billboard, Io could feel a painful retaliation inside his chest.

He wasn't regretting admitting, but it still hurt.

"What's the big deal? It's normal they will take it down..." Io mumbled, the puff of his breath showing and disappearing in an instant.

No matter how much he denied it. That still hurt like hell. A definitive blow on his pride. If he wasn't the hardshelled person that he was, he might have been crying at the sight of his commercials and promotions be removed one by one before his eyes.

With a deep frown on his smooth forehead, Io turned on his heels and continued his walk. He was sure if he stayed any longer there, he would end up scratching the men's faces with his finger nails before dashing out of sight.

He walked on the streets, not caring about the irritating giggles of highschool girls talking about their crushes or something. He walked past a CD store and caught a glimpse of the spot where his CD's were used to be, and now they're empty.

He ignored every bit of the proof that starting from that night in Sonate a week ago, he had become a no name. Or perhaps a name with a very bad string attached to it. How to clean it he didn't know.

He knew standing back on his two feet would be hard after admitting he was just deceiving everyone. But not_ this_ hard. Specially, there was no one who was offering any help. Not that he was even hoping for one.

"I guess, I am really surrounded by bad people huh?" he smiled at the dog pissing at a pole. "Unlike Takahashi..."

The teen gasped at the sudden thought he was having. _What the hell, I sound like I am jealous of him! No way! No way in hell!_

On the contrary, Io deep inside knew that he was just ripping what he had sown. He didn't put any efforts into making any real friends he could rely on. And so, at the times of storms like these, what could he expect but to be alone?

The smell of coffee wafted around his nose. It felt calming and tasted delicious in Io's buds though he haven't tasted them yet. When he looked up, it was a small coffee shop with a crazy interior.

Everything inside looked distorted. It was as if the insides of the shop was tilted to one side. It would hurt the eyes to look at the walls no wonder anyone who walked inside would leave totally awake. Io knew it was just an optical illusion but he stepped in anyway.

When he took a seat, he saw a newspaper on the table. He realized that it was one of the coffee shop's free services in the mornings.

"Everything's about Takahashi now..." he thought to himself while staring at the bold characters on the newspaper.

It was only after Io had roamed his eyes properly inside the cafe did he realized something disturbing. His pictures were on some kind of a mural on one side of the walls. Those pictures when he was just starting. Pictures together with other artists that made their ways to the top.

"Excuse me," Io stood from his seat and went to the white apron-ed guy behind the counter. "What are those pictures for?"

The man looked like he was in his forty's. His neat cut hair showing that he has a serious side to himself.

"That?" he started throwing a smile on that side of the wall. "Nothing really. When I started this shop, I thought I'd put pictures of artists there that caught my attention."

A picture of a fidgety young man, Io looked at the older man before him. "Aren't you going to remove that? Everyone is doing so..."

A merry laugh filled the small shop which sent the other few customers looking at their direction. "Why should I do that? The kid even deserves more to be on that spot for admitting it!"

"That didn't do him any good though..." he mumbled.

"Aww kiddo, perhaps getting back on track would be difficult but since you took a step to change the situation for the better, I'm pretty sure a help would be sent to you."

Hearing the man, Io looked up with his eyes wide is surprise. "You..."

"I'll keep quiet about it, but do you honestly think that a fan like myself wouldn't recognize you...hmm? Io-kun?"

The teen blushed for a moment. After all the shitty things he'd been seeing nonstop, seeing that someone didn't abandom him after all what he did felt so good he was so full of gratitude.

"Say...Io-kun...do you know that fated ones appear at times of havoc?"

"Ha?"

Fanning the shop brochure with his left hand, the old man grinned. "I am such a hopeless romantic. Forgive me."

Io cocked his head. "Well it's alright. By the way, here, my payment for the coffee."

"No! No! It's my treat!"

Io frowned. "Sorry, I don't like that. I'll pay."

Frowning, the man placed a pen on the counter top and blinked at Io. "Then, may I have a signature and a piece of thought from you?"

A couple of seconds passed before Io took the pen. There wouldn't be so much people anyway in there anymore that would like to have his signature so he was more than willing.

"Where should I sign?"

"On your paper bill is fine. I'll stick it on my mural."

Disbelieving the weirdness of the man, Io started writing the kanji for spring since he was born in that season instead of his name. He paused at the 'thought' being asked of him and gritted his teeth. He wrote hard on the paper bill he almost tore it.

"'SHM'?" the man repeated after reading what the teen had written. "Your hand writing is very pretty...but what does SHM mean?"

"Nothing..." Io bowed a little before stepping out the coffee shop.

Io almost lost his balance when a man in a suit passed him through the narrow door of the shop. The man though apologetic just stared shortly and dashed to the counter of the shop.

"Oh...you're late today!" Io could hear the owner of the shop greet the man who just arrived.

"Blame my stupid boss for it. We're late for our meeting and he still wanted to get some of your coffee!"

"Aww...that's an honor!" the man beamed. "The usual right?"

"Is this a place where weirdos gather?" Io mumbled, straightening his eyeglasses that almost fell off from his nose.

Throwing a final glance at the shop he just discovered, Io started walking away. His hands hidden inside his pockets, he fixed his gaze at the ground.

"Why did I fucking wrote that? Embarrassing...am I that desperate?"

Annoyed, irritated and embarrassed and most of all sad and alone, Io sighed, wanting to release some tension. And when he noticed this black car parked near the coffee shop as if waiting, Io out of the blue kicked one of the back tires. He just did it for no reason.

"What the...?" Ijuuin who was still dozing off inside his car was startled when he felt the car shake a little. "Earthquake?"

The shaking didn't stop. Annoyed at his sleep being interrupted, Ijuuin turned his head to look who it was. His sleepy eyes in narrow slits, he watched the red beanie bobble here and there as the person continued kicking his frustrations at the precious tire of his car.

Ijuuin was about to hop off the car when he faintly had a sudden recognition of that thin frame, with green glaring eyes.

"That..." he frowned, ransacking his still sleeping brain. And then like a sharp flick of fingers, the cheeky brat sitting beside him during Sonate came flashing before his eyes. "That brat...Io isn't it? What the heck is he doing in here?"

"Oi! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

Ijuuin darted his eyes at his secretary carrying paper bags for their coffee. Fuji was huffing and all, glaring at the kid who was having a kicking spree.

The teen looked up and instead of Ijuuin seeing a shocked and guilty face from Io, the teen calmy backed away from the car and walked away like nothing happened. Ijuuin watched the teen grow farther from the car's side view mirror. Io had removed his glasses for him to scratch the sleeves of his coat on his face.

Without seeing it, Ijuuin still could tell that Io started to cry on his own.

"At his limit with all the things going in the media huh?" Ijuuin thought, having his sleepiness leaving him. "Well, it's always harsh in this business..."

Fuji sat in an irritated matter on the driver's seat handing Ijuuin his coffee.

"Here, drown yourself with that two cups of coffee."

"The way you talk to me, am I really the boss here?" Ijuuin asked, taking the bag.

Starting the car once more, Fuji started maneuvring the car towards Docomo Building, Sonate's home building for a meeting.

"Then please act like one."

The composer just smirked while taking one of the cups out of the bag. He heard a faint sound of coins inside. He looked into the bag and saw crumples of bills and coins scattered in it.

"What's this?"

Fuji looked at his boss from the rear view mirror and scowled. "Your change, what else?"

"I told you I don't like coins and crumpled bills. You should have given the change as tip."

"Sorry boss, I was in a hurry for you to get into the meeting that I forgot to make pleasantries."

Ijuuin snorted. His secretary was really annoyed this time. He started taking a sip of his coffee despite the car running at a fast speed. Ijuuin started taking the crumpled notes off the bag and straightened them on his seat. Yes, he was ozy when it came to money.

"Hmm?" he flipped the paper bill. "'Haru'? 'SHM'?"

Ijuuin had no intention of keeping the crumpled paper bills since he liked the new and crisp ones, however, for some reason, he liked the hand writing on the bill and thoughtlessly inserted it in his breastpocket.

* * *

Io on the other hand kept on walking with his head totally in a mesh of disbelief at his stupidity.

"Yeah right, I was caught up with that man's being 'hopeless romantic'! Nothing else. Nothing else..."

The teen stopped on his tracks and sighed. He was never the one to ask of help from anyone blatantly. But he just wrote "SHM" on the paper bill saying "Someone, Help Me...".

What he wrote was his childishness surfacing. He didn't want to admit it, but he was indeed facing a great wall. His confidence bit by bit crumbling away. His facade falling, and only a lonely and helpless boy was left.

It was stupid, but somehow, Io realized that he can't go on alone. If only there would be someone who would also believe in him like how people believed in Misaki. Perhaps...Io would be a little happier and a bit less lonelier.

* * *

**NOTES:**

that's it for now for these two dudes^^i love Shizuku Ishi (Io) and Ijuuin Kyo (blackmedley)pairing so i want to put a little about them together with the things to settle with Misaki and Usagi-san^^. this isn't going to end until there is no "the end" at the end. LoL.^^

FYI: the kanji for Haru or spring is "春"...

refresher: Docomo building is this beautiful clock tower building. it's private but for this story i used it as a sonate building since i think it's very pretty.^^

-SHUUSETSU


	40. Chance

yey! yey! yey! thank you as always for the kind words! love lots-_shuusetsu_

_also to clear things up: **Io or Shizuku Ishi** is not an OC...hehehe he's in Junjou Romantica 32_

* * *

**【【【****Chance】】】**

* * *

It wasn't hot or humid or anything. But Misaki was having his entire face in a hint of red as he walked side by side with this guy who was emitting crazy pheromones it was almost intoxicating. His fingertips were also on fire as the teen felt the tight grip the huge hand had on his. He wanted to pull away to be honest but there was no way he could.

"Ano...Usagi-san...I don't really mind holding hands," Misaki mumbled almost wanting to disappear on the spot. "But don't you think holding hands inside Sonate building is being too much? It's not like I'd get lost..."

With a smile, Usami's grip grew tighter. "What are you saying? Now that we're entitled to it, all the more we have to show how lovey dovey we are."

Misaki gaped at the tall man. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Lovey dovey?" he repeated. "Don't you get goosebumps saying those words Usagi-san?" the teen pouted. Misaki looked away, afraid to show the smile growing on his own lips.

Many people working in Sonate who passed the two guys holding each others' hands were left staring. Rude enough but they couldn't help it. Everything was just too new to fathom. The very strict Sonate when it comes to such things suddenly opened its doors to these people. It was not like they have anything against it. But it will surely take time before they could pass it as normal.

Besides, they have nothing to say about the talents of these two people anyway and that was the reason why they were in Sonate in the first place.

Usami looked at the head beside him and smiled contentedly when he felt the hand squeeze Misaki gave him.

"Why are you wearing turtle neck again today Misaki? Shouldn't you be wearing a suit?"

"Are you kidding me?" Misaki raised his head with a death glare. "You know the answer and yet you're still asking?"

Usagi smiled a meaningful one. "I just want to hear it from you is all."

"Pervert..." Misaki hissed, despite that, the gentle squeeze Misaki gave to the cold hand around his was proof that he was just enjoying the whole set up they were in.

They continued to walk, aiming for the Sonate's President's Office. So suddenly, the two of them were requested for a meeting they still didn't know what about. The briefing for Misaki's roles and responsibilites being a new full pledged singer and composer under Sonate Contract was even cancelled a week ago to take a rest and to give way to this 'very important' matter.

_Everything still looks so bright in here..._ Misaki thought as he wandered his green, curious eyes at the high ceilings and the red carpets along the hallway that silenced their footsteps. Misaki thought he wouldn't be even surprised if princes and princessess suddenly appeared before him in extravagant clothes as the whole set up looked like a palace. Everything was unnecessarily shining and expensive.

"We're here," Usami announced after they reached a huge, wooden door. The carvings on it were a mix of autumn leaves and birds flying in all directions.

Misaki drew a deep breath. Meetings with people like these would always, always give Misaki the scare. Like how to act in front of them, manners, etiquette that he hadn't even set foot inside and yet his head was already smoking of confusion.

"What is that funny look on your face?"

"Eh?" Misaki stared at the door. "No-nothing...just...just a little nervous I guess."

The taller man found the look on Misaki's face so irrisistable he ended up messing the hair Misaki had painstakingly fixed before they went.

"What the, Usagi-san!" the teen shouted, backing a couple of steps away.

"Don't be too nervous. The President is just like a grandfather to everyone here."

True enough, when the huge doors opened, they were welcomed by a warmth of a person that could get along with just about anyone. Wasn't he even the one that was really rooting for Misaki to win in the competition?

Huge bookshelves and crazy paintings hung in most of every space of the walls. The motiff was red and brown that the lights above their heads gave everything a classy glow.

Sitting at the end of a long oval table, the Sonate Chief Judge and President stood and grinned at them. He was just wearing a white shirt. A shock to Misaki since he was expecting a formal meeting. Although he couldn't deny the relief that flooded his chest at the same time.

"Good afternoon, Yoshida-san," Usami greeted, bowing a little.

Misaki who was still a little nervous wreck bowed deeply. "Go-good afternoon! Thank you for taking care of me last time!"

The old man waived his hand in the air, laughing like the old grandfather who was being amused by his grandchild. "No...not a problem! I've been waiting for you guys...come, choose wherever you want to sit!"

After everyone had settled, Usami plastered his business face and looked straight to the old man.

"So, Yoshida-san...may we know the reason you called us out here? Looks like you're in a rush."

Misaki looked from Usami to the Sonate President with equally curious eyes and eager ears.

Everyone paused a little when a lady in white blouse and black skirt entered, serving them each a cup of tea.

"Oh...could we wait a little longer? There's one actually that hasn't arrived yet."

Usami just nodded in understanding while the teen beside him started shooting off to a different dimension. The tea that was served was of very premium quality. It was soothing and the smell that ran down to Misaki's nose was calming. Misaki forgot all about his nervousness.

However, Misaki almost choke on his tea when the huge doors they came from blasted open, revealing his former boss Fuji, huffing and sweating crazy. His face distorted in a face of shame and irritation.

"I'm sorry! Sorry Sir we're late! My boss..." Fuji turned to look at his back only to find it empty. He had to stick his head out the door once more.

"What are you doing? The President asked us to come here so pull yourself together!" the secretary hissed. He knew very well the man hated meetings and he literally had to drag the composer to each and every meeting that came their way like a boy who didn't want to go to the nursery.

"Yoshida-san know me anyway...he'll understand..." Ijuuin mumbled, yawning a little. For a man who had a great influence in Sonate too, he was rather dressed so casually with denim jeans and darkblue cotton shirt under his black coat.

"It's not something to boast about!"

The sleepy dark eyes grew wide open when it landed on Takahashi Misaki who was as shocked as he was.

"Takahashi?" he whispered, feeling a kicking sensation in his chest at the sight of the teen. He grew a little disappointed when he saw the silverhaired man beside the teen though.

"Ijuuin-san!" Misaki happily stood from his seat. "It's good to see you!"

Usami ignored the fact that his lover was happily calling out to the man he couldn't get along with no matter what. He decided to be more understanding at this point since Misaki clearly developed an attatchment to Ijuuin after all that has happened. He would just guard his totally unguarded lover and keep an eye to the equally truthworthy guy that just arrived.

"Nice to see you too, you're looking good..."

Misaki smiled happily at Ijuuin who took a seat facing him. Fuji, taking a seat facing Usami Akihiko.

"Yoshida-san, what is going on here? Calling me and Takahashi with Usami-san together?" Ijuun started right off the bat.

The old man sighed. "Ijuuin, I'd appreciate it if you could come on time once in a while..."

"It's my fault!" Fuji cut in. "I wasn't able to do my job at dragging my boss here."

The old man laughed at the seriousness of the man. "No it's not your fault if that guy is a lazyhead. Anyway..."

The light feeling in the room disappeared and was replaced suddenly by an air of heavy, formal feel. Clearly it was the point of 'business' or the reason why the three were called.

Standing from his seat, pacing the room, Yoshida-san scanned first the faces of the people around the table.

"I want a project where the three of you will be working together."

"Ha?" it was Usami who had stared in disbelief at Ijuuin.

"No kidding?" Ijuuin asked.

"You see, in normal circumstances, Takahashi-kun should be under BlackMedley's care, however, Takahashi-kun here ended up to Usami-san's for personal reasons. This year's Sonate winner is still very young and needs guidance so he'd be under Usami's apprenticeship in a while before he could go on his own," the old man stopped in the midde of the room and grinned. "Don't you think a joint project would be interesting?"

Ijuuin and Usami had only one thought running in their heads. That this very same old guy was having fun ordering them around behind that warm smile.

"So you are telling us," Ijuuin started with a poker face to hide his irritation at having told to work with the guy who won over Misaki. "To compose a song with Usami-san?"

"Exactly."

Misaki looked dumbfounded. "And I will sing...?"

Just the thought of having to sing a song composed by these two huge names was enough to send him in a stupor of nervousness. He really should be used to it but he just couldn't.

"Ah...I almost forgot..." Yoshida-san exclaimed. "Ijuuin, it's really time for you to get someone you could train under your name."

"Huh? Why all of a sudden?" Ijuuin asked.

Usami looked like he was about ready to drag Misaki out of that office.

"What all of a sudden are you saying?" the old man asked innocently. "This project I am talking about, I want Misaki to work with your apprentice. You and Usami, Takahashi-kun and another from your side. Meaning, a double collaboration for the newyears' special of Sonate."

Fuji raised a hand. "But Sir that is impossible...Ijuuin-san here doesn't have even a selection of students to choose from."

"Oh?" the old man smiled. "That shouldn't be a problem. With Ijuuin's ability to scrutinize talents, he could surely get one in two weeks? Then work on the project within another two weeks in time for the Newyear right?"

Fuji looked at his tablet as he take down notes. The President was indeed a saddist.

* * *

Inside the red sports car that Usami was driving, the man watched his love shuffle and ruffle and turn his bag upside down. Gazing in the front and stealing a glance once in a while towards Misaki, the older man furrowed his brows.

"What are you doing?"

"Ah...nothing...just looking for a business card."

"Business card?"

"Yeah..." Misaki answered, tugging on the pockets of his bag. "Ijuuin-san's business card. I know I have it hidden somewhere in here."

A grim expression on his face, Usami composed himself from hearing that man's name from Misaki's lips. "Ijuuin? Why the hell are you looking for something about that man?"

"I figured I'd tell Io about it...but I don't know the complete address..."

The car turned at a U-turn in a swift maneuver. The road not crowded giving them a smooth ride.

"Io?" Usami frowned. Ijuuin needed someone who could at least sing. The silverhaired man wanted to voice it out but seeing Misaki so eager to help someone, Usami stopped himself and just continued driving.

"Uhm, Usagi-san...about today's visit to Nii-chan..." Misaki halted from his search and lowered his gaze. Since he won in the competition a week ago, he had only called his brother. Somehow afraid to face him. "...are you sure you're okay?"

"Baka, we should have done that earlier."

Usami watched Misaki from the corner of his eyes and saw how worried his lover was. Instead of saying anything he just rested one of his hands on the boy's head and ruffled it gently.

"This time, rely on me Misaki."

Misaki clutched his bag tightly and eased the tension in his back. A silent nod was what Misaki gave as he fixed his gaze at the nearing hospital building before him.

* * *

On a park filled with people enjoying the chilly air, Io was sitting on one of the benches drinking hot chocolate to fend off the cold. His eyes were nowhere focused. He just stared at the flood of people passing before his eyes. No one even threw a glance at his direction. Not that he wanted one. It was just, a feeling of being just an insignificant being on the face of the planet.

A melody from a flute caught Io's attention and he hurriedly inserted his hand inside his pocket, feeling the vibration from his phone.

With a frown, Io pressed the 'read' button.

"Hello, this is Takahashi. Uhm, the BlackMedley is having an audition tonight. It was an urgent matter so if you're interested, please go to this address..."

"What is that guy thinking? Mailing me about this..." Io grew more distressed as he sat there knowing about the message. He read the address once more and for a second, he smiled.

"Now...isn't this near this park? How convenient..." Io stood from his bench and walked towards the address sent to him. He was just justifying himself that he was going there since it happened to be just around the corner. He couldn't still admit that he wanted to go, because he was about to lose hope.

He walked briskly towards the flood of people going to the different direction. He could feel the cold feeling passing through his airway and a warm breath escaping his mouth. He wasn't broke or anything. He didn't need money or fortune. He was from a well to do family to begin with. He was just wanting to get the dream he was having. And though he was near giving up, he still didn't want to give up just like that. It would be so much not like him.

* * *

"What the hell is this line?"

That was what came to Io's mind first the moment he set foot on the street where the BlackMedley's office and studio was. The line had literally took over the streets despite the day nearing it's end. At this point, not one has yet to realize that Io, the former pop icon many idolized was there.

"Oh, I heard this is a job for a project for the Newyear so they're in a hurry to get a new talent under BlackMedley's name. A girl wearing thick clothing whispered to the guy beside her. "In truth, I was aiming to be Usami Akihiko -san's student but he already has one, and a lover in one...good thing we still have this opportunity."

"Ah, true, I wonder how they'd screen us? The ad on their site merely said people interested in music are welcome. No specific qualification is needed..."

"Ah don't be deceived...my sister is working in Sonate you know, though BlackMedley doesn't show his face in public like Usami Akihiko used to, she said she could hear from the higher ups that the man is very strict. Even scary..."

"Ah who cares? As long as I get chosen and be his student, my future is going to be great."

"Oi...oi...we can hear you from here you know?" a guy scowled.

Io just listened to everyone rant. Seemed like he was the only one who know the real mug of 'BlacMedley'. If he would have to admit, the composer wasn't bad looking. It was just, Io hated the BlackMedley because Ijuuin Kyo was the sort of guy Io had a thing for. In short, Io's type was the likes of Ijuuin; tall, lean physique and most of all, prideful. Same old reason why he liked Usami Akihiko. However, this time, Io was in the midde of a heartache from the silverhaired man that his heart was really vulnerable and he wanted to avoid unnecessary feelings.

* * *

"Uhm...sorry for this urgent call for an audition. Well, my boss's mindset is a person should be ready for emergency's anyway. So let's see, 30 people made it to the cut off. Please after that guy in the read beanie, I'm sorry but better luck next time."

Io looked like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. What was that kind of half-assed cut off he just heard from the funny looking guy? Still, he was interested how things would go so he followed the line anyway.

"See, we're on the eighth floor of this building, so just keep silent while we're on our way there okay?"

By groups, young people from 16 to 24 years of age moved to the elevator, following whatever the man in blackrimmed glasses was saying. The look of surprise was visible on everyone's face when they reached the eighth floor though. A combination of black and white with red. It was kind of a modern set-up with a feel of seriousness in it. A sort of freestyle and classic combined.

"Alright, since you all know we are in a hurry, I'd be straight to the point. There are three things that you should just pass. In this round only ten would be picked so please do your best."

They were led to a place that seemed like a conference room. It was nothing but pure white and a single door in front.

'Excuse me..." a boy with a tear-drop mole called to the one-man guy telling them what to do. "But where is the BlackMedley? Won't he see us personally?"

Fuji sighed. "Well, you see, my boss is really not in the mood for these kind of events so I'll oversee the entire audition. Don't worry I know a lot about music and this audition wouldn't take very long."

Io almost snorted at everything. Everything felt so half-assed he couldn't hide the crazy grin taking its shape on his lips.

One by one, people were asked to enter the door. Behind it no one knew what would welcome them. However, it wasn't even two minutes that passed for some and they were already going out with defeated faces. It made the curious side of Io rage in anticipation.

"Oh...excuse me but I've been wondering...could you be Io? You look...very similar..."

When Io turned to look at the guy beside him, Io raised a brow. It was the guy with blonde hair and a tear mole under his left eye. The blonde looked pretty Io had to wonder if he was actually a guy. Not that he wasn't used to seeing those types since he was sometimes being mistaken for a woman himself most of the times in bars he went to.

"Yes. I am," he answered straight away. There was no point at hiding it anyway.

"Oh...for real?" another guy cut in. "But this audition is for someone who could sing as well right? Don't tell me you have some shadow singer inside your pockets this time?"

Io had a poker face, ignoring the snide remarks of that tall guy with such a high level of confidence. Though he didn't say anything anymore, the guy kept on talking about him like he wasn't there. Many agreed and laughed with him while some just kept their mouths shut. Truthfully, there would be people who'd enjoy the bad predicaments of others just to feel good. Io knew that, why he was one of those people before.

It was Io's turn to go inside that room. When he entered, there was nothing inside but a plain paper on a single table. The teen removed his glasses for show and stared hard at it. No matter what angle he looked at it, it was nothing but an empty piece of paper.

Meanwhile, while everyone thought the BlackMedley was absent, little did they know that he was actually watching everyone of them. Testing their sharpness and hearing.

"Ijuuin, you're crazy..."

Ijuuin snorted while tapping his pen on the side of his table while looking at the huge screens before him. "I need someone with good ears. If people don't notice that within two minutes amidst the sound of heaters inside that room then they could just go home and sleep."

Fuji sighed and looked at the boy currently in that room. "Isn't that Io anyway?" he looked at the lists he had gathered. "He wrote Shizuku Ishi here so I didn't notice..."

"I didn't know he would actually come in here..."

"You need someone who can sing you know..."

"Don't worry about that...if he passes then he passes. If he doesn't then he doesn't. Don't make things complicated."

Io looked around the small room. Plain white, table and some cabinets filled the entire space. The teen wondering what he was supposed to do in there sat at the edge of the table and sighed.

"They didn't say what I am supposed to do in here...should I write something on the paper?"

Annoyed and getting impatient, the teen removed his beanie and threw it on the table with a scowl. That was when Io somehow felt or heard something strange.

Whirling, Io walked straight towards the farthest corner of the room where a cabinet was standing. Just on its side on the floor was a small speaker, producing a very, very faint sound of scratching like a nail against metal.

"So noisy...how do I make this stop?" The teen tried to kick it, however, he suddenly realized something.

Brushing his locks away from his face, Io raised his head at the seemingly sprinkler during fire and smiled a haughty one.

Ijuuin stared for a moment at that challenging grin and smiled himself. "He found it...Interesting," Ijuuin grinned and signed an 'OK' next to Shizuku Ishi's name.

"Yeah and he's staring straight back at you. I have to admit he's sharp," Fuji noted on his tablet. "However, Ijuuin I know you're having fun but let me remind you you need someone who could sing."

* * *

notes:

hello^^ ano...my brains are fried right now..hahah anyway..thank you very much for your time ad kind words and support!^^

-shuusetsu


	41. One Way

konnichi wa! in light of the golden week, where i will become a golden couch potato finishing "QUEER AS FOLK"...HAHAHA...i am sorry if there will be lapses in the updating time. This series had me under a leash...BRIAN AND JUSTIN I AM SHIPPING YOU HOME!

* * *

【【【**One Way**】】】

* * *

It was nerve wracking. It was the kind of nervousness so different from the kind he had gone through. Nervousness from stepping out and admitting he was in a relationship with a fellow male to the public was an experience he would never forget. But when it came to admitting it, admitting the taboo to a family will always, always feel like the other foot was already in the grave.

Misaki walked silently, with Usami Akihiko behind him. Although the older man had been insistent on them holding hands or him resting his arm on Misaki's shoulder the past few days, this time, Usami gave the teen the space. He knew Misaki was having the craziest and scariest time of his life. And that was facing his brother.

Despite doing something, people in the hospital found themselves staring at the attention catchers walking down the hallway. Not long ago they have seen these faces on TV, and now they were trudging before their shocked faces.

"Misaki-chan! Congratulations!"

"Congrats..."

Those who were friends of Misaki greeted and congratulated him. Those who were just an acquantance could only waive a hand or give a small nod. Other than that, surprisingly, perhaps because it was a hospital, people acted accordingly and didn't rush to Misaki cornering the couple into a barge of questions.

_I feel like I am about to be subjected to guillotine..._

Misaki's steps grew slower the more they became closer to his brother's room. It even felt that the floor he was walking on was becoming narrower and mushier.

Perhaps, the fear of being accepted by the family was greater than being accepted by strangers. Misaki knew, if his brother expressed any disgust, he was so sure his world will crumble into a mess. Despite the fear, he had to go through with this. He had to formally announce personally that he was in an unusual relationship. If Takahiro wouldn't accept him for who he was, so be it.

Lips trembling, Misaki raised his hand on the knob. He felt the coldness of the metal and was afraid that he would feel the same feeling from his brother. And then Misaki felt this hand lightly running up and down his back.

Misaki raised his head and saw his lover smiling at him, urging Misaki to open the door and face whatever that would be thrown at him.

"Go on, I'm with you in this..." Usami whispered after lowering his lips to the teen's ears.

Drawing a very deep breath, Misaki finally pushed open the door and saw his brother as if he man knew all along that he and his lover Usami Akihiko would be coming.

It was Misaki who stepped in first. Arisaka was there inside the room fanning himself with a yellow paper fan. The man smiled for a moment before leaving the room. Leaving the brothers alone to have their talk.

"Uhm..." Misaki was too flustered to even begin. He had practiced over and over again what he would say nce he met his brother. But there he was totally in a mental black-out. "Nii-chan...hi?"

The room was still the same. It was still white, still calming, and still silent. And the occupant of the room was still the blind, and crippled man who had all the love for his brother intact despite everything that has happened.

Takahiro raised his arms open without saying anything.

Right at that moment, Misaki was again a small child wanting to say sorry for all the trouble he caused. The teen instantly flew to his brother's arms and burried himself on the man's shoulders.

"I'm sorry Nii-chan...sorry..." Misaki's muffled voice echoed throughout the corners of the room. With his cries came the sobs of relief and thankfulness that his brother welcomed him with such a gesture that said more than words could say.

"Idiot Misaki...you don't have to apoligize for anything."

His arms around his little brother's shaking body, Takahiro buried his face on is brother's head. He could remember the day their parent's died and how he promised to care for Misaki. How they promised to be always for each other's side the rest of their lives. If Misaki was what people would always call different, he didn't care. Because he knew that these were the times he should act as the older brother. He couldn't support Misaki financially the way he could before, but support nd acceptance would always be something he could provide for his little brother, who's no longer little.

"Misaki, congratulations."

Usami Akihiko stood by the door watching the brotherly love before him. Unlike his family, he knew he would never get something like this so he savored the moment. Sometimes, normal human beings were richer in understanding than rich people. Maybe because they knew that the only things they got were the presence of one another.

Pushing the teen away a little, Takahiro moved his unseeing eyes towards the door and smiled. "Can I have a talk with Usami-san? Just the two of us?"

With a crying mess for a face, Misaki moved out of the bed and looked at the silver haired man who walked inside the room and patted him on the head.

"Nii-chan...don't...don't be mad at him okay?"

"Misaki...this is between us two so go out for a moment please," the brother's voice had become from calm and sweet to a little stern. It made Misaki nervous for his lover.

Usami smiled at Misaki before nodding at him. "It's alright. Just let us talk okay?"

A little unwilling, Misaki moved out the room and carefully closed the door with its faint clicking reverberating in his head.

"Yoh, what's up?" Arisaka greeted. He was sitting on a bench outside Takahiro's room still fanning himself and chewing gum.

* * *

Io, for the first time in a long while felt dang nervous he could puke. The butterflies in his stomach felt like about to burst open his entire being as he looked with a pale face the next round of screening.

The teen bowed his head gritting his teeth. _It's all over. A singer who could not sing...pathetic._

After the first screening which tested how good everyone's ears were, there were only ten people left in the conference room. As if they were in a very important meeting themselves, everyone just looked at the music sheets given to them by Fuji.

They were given a ten-minute break before the screening would proceed so Io had more time to think whether he should continue or not. Truthfully, despite his pride higher than the skies, the next round would just make him a laughing stock of the crowd.

"Oh...this piece, isn't this something that earned a lot of covers? It's a surprise the BlackMedley is updated with these kinds of things, ne?" the guy with a tear-mole muttered to the person before him. Io just listened to them inspite of his inner turmoil.

"Yeah, to think that they would ask us to sing this...well I am glad I know the song."

There was a silence once more among the group when Io felt a hand tap his shoulder. When he looked up, he wished he hadn't.

"What are you going to do then Mr. Ex-Pop Idol? Is it bye bye now?" Minase, the blonde guy who seemed to be enjoying taunting Io leered. He was able to pass the first round and he was already acting like he had already passed all the screenings.

"Minase-kun, please leave Shizuku-kun alone..." the guy with a tear-mole named Sagara intervened.

Minase raised a brow and smirked at Sagara who was acting defiant yet his knees were shaking under the round, white table.

"What's the problem? I am just being concerned, am I not?" he started throwing each person a pitiful look and patted Io on the shoulder like they were the best of buddies. "The second round is singing. But our friend here, have you seen him in Sonate? All those messed up notes, the poor guy couldn't even sing even if that's the last thing to save his life."

"But he passed the first round, so let Mr. Fuji decide who's passing or who's not. Stop bullying Shizuku-kun!"

"Oh yeah right, are you throwing the name "Io" now?" Minase asked innocently.

Io was starting to feel really, really damned annoyed at this Minase, but for some reason, he didn't have the energy to counter the dude. What Minase was saying was true anyway. Wasn't that why he was feeling restless in the first place? The second round of screening was singing a line from the song Fuji distributed to them. What on Earth would he do?"

If he sang, he'd be ridiculed and mocked and would be told to go home. If he didn't sing, he would still be mocked anyway since everybody knew he couldn't sing.

_Damn it._

"Ne, Shizuku-kun...why did you admit you're having a shadow singer? Such a waste..."

"Stop it Minase..." some other people also intervened.

Though Io knew it was kind of something like an act to look good and feel good about themselves, Io just kep quiet. Whatever he chooses, he'd be mocked anyway. _To hell with everything._

"Are you freakin in love with me?" Io asked in a poker face towards Minase beside him.

The rest who weren't interested at the scene started to listen and look at the two.

"What?" Minase blurted.

"Seems like you only have eyes for me, don't you?" Io smirked more.

"Whoa...you're out of your mind, aren't you? I'm a guy!"

Io threw his music sheet on the table and crossed his arms without looking away at the blue, fuming eyes. "What if I am out of my mind? I am even joining an audition for singing though I could not sing...if you're all so in love with me and you want my attention that bad, I'd give you my number later."

Backing away, surprised at what he was hearing, Minase glared at Io. "Watch your mouth you big deceiver."

"Then stop paying attention to me would you and focus your all so great singing to your damned music sheet."

Everyone watched Minase stomped back to his seat with his blonde hair swaying behind him. He was in complete anger and the people talking to him earlier decided not to interrupt the fuming young man into his world of anger to maintain peace in that room.

Io snorted on his seat while staring at the notes on his music sheet blindly.

He just earned another enemy.

* * *

Gathering a box with numbers inside, Fuji looked closer to the screens where Ijuuin was watching the ten remaining people inside the conference room. Feet on his table, the dark eyes of Ijuuin were focused at Minase.

"You know Ijuuin, this scene somehow reminds me of the times when Takahashi-kun was just starting..."

Ijuuin threw his pen on his table and yawned.

"You think so? Well Io deserved fifty percent of what he was experiencing right now anyway."

"You meanie..."

"I abhor though those who's trying to let down people who's trying hard," Ijuuin mumbled. Fuji didn't hear it but he decided not to press for it and went out the room. Ready to start the second round of screening.

* * *

"Hi guys. So this is the second round of screening," Fuji started as he grabbed a ball inside the box. "I want you to pick a number from this box and that's how you would be called."

The box has been passed around and found it's way back to Fuji's hands.

"You won't be singing the entire song, just so you know. You'll only be singing parts of it and it's not in order, so you better be attentive. For example..." Fuji started pacing the room. "I'll call number 3, you sing and only stop when I say so, and I will call number 7 to continue the song. I will call randomly and it doesn't matter how many times the song is repeated as long as everyone gets to sing a part of it. Understood?"

The young people inside the conference room started becoming stiff on their seats. What was more, Fuji didn't say any criteria they'd be looking for in that round. Same with the first round, they were in a mysterious play.

With a numb feeling, Io looked at the ball in his right hand and the music sheet in his left hand.

"Number 4..." Io frowned.

He hated that number. It felt like a bad omen. His grandmother who was seriously superstitious when she was till alive rumbled to young Io that numbers being written in downward directions meant bad luck. It didn't have any proof, but at that time, Io wrote an invisible number four on the table. A slanting line, a horizontal line, then a downward line.

_"Then Granny, what about one, seven and nine? Will they be unlucky too?"_

Sighing, reminding himself the feeling he experienced while watching Misaki on the stage as a winner after all the hardships the guy had to go through, Io pursed his lips. And he began to write his number in the reverse way. He wrote the downwards line starting from the bottom up to the top. He could only make his own luck. That's what he decided to think.

Be mocked or be mocked. What's there to lose?

"Okay...we'll begin...num-"

All heads darted to the huge doors that slammed open, revealing a very authoritative presence of someone who's capable of making people cry at a single mistake.

"Fuji...I'll take it from here."

Silent murmurs filled the room as they watched the guy wearing black vneck and tattered old jeans walk right in the middle of the room before him. The eerie feeling of a cold, handsome and merciless man pricked their skins.

His mouth in silent "o" for a while, Fuji sighed and pushed his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"Alright guys, this is unexpected...but well let me introduce you to BlackMedley...Ijuuin Kyo, the one who's looking for someone he could train under his name."

The chatterings grew louder and more indistinc. It somehow surprised Ijuuin at how loud a ten people could be when they started talking at the same time. He roamed his eyes at the round table and realized it was only nine. For Io was there lips pursed, looking like the teen had become an unfeeling mannequin.

Ijuuin clapped his hands. "Okay people, we'll do this fast so listen to me carefully. If I call your number and you were spacing out, I'll call the next..."

Like a lazy old man, Ijuuin pulled one swivel chair and sat with its back supporter facing the front. He rested his arms on it and his chin on his arms.

Fuji lowered his head to whisper at his boss.

"What are you doing here? You're putting more pressure in them..."

Ijuuin grinned. "That's exactly what I want to do."

The darkhaired man smiled for a moment, and as if it didn't happen at all, his face was replaced by utter seriousness like he was a darkwall. "Let's start."

"Nine."

The person holding the number nine was caught unprepared. Everyone began shuffling at their music sheets and staring at their numbers as if afraid they might forget their own numbers.

"Unprepared...seven," Ijuuin continued in a monotonous voice, not allowing the person with number nine time to start.

_"When we grow apart, it's destiny _  
_It's just how it was supposed to be_  
_But I know that I'm not strong enough _  
_to accept that so easily..."_

"Three," Ijuuin cut off number seven abruptly, as if messing the smooth flow of the song.

The girl with her hair in a messy bun stared wide eyed at Ijuuin. Realizing that she just missed singing right away after being called.

"Stop staring at me three...four."

" _Each and every single answer that comes my way.._." Io could feel the smiles forming on the other persons' lips sitting around the table. With a chest filled with misery...he continued.  
_Are sold at too high a price for me to pay_  
_They rob me of the courage to leave it all and move on_" He knew he sounded more than awful. He have good ears and he could hear himself very well.

Sagara looked symphatetic at Io. Because everyone was practically sure that Io wouldn't make it the way he sounded. It wasn't just bad...it even sounded funny.

"Five."

Because of smirking and making funny faces, Minase lost his chance.

"Tsk. Ten."

_"The song that I once sang and gave to you_  
_Its now just a sad love song, over played a time or two"_

"One."

_"Let the wind flow in and blow it away_  
_Back to that time, that summer day _  
_when I fell in love with you..."_

"Six."

Sagara felt his chest drummed when he heard his number but he was able to sing properly.

_"When we draw near each other, its destiny too_  
_the way its suppose to unfold, through and through"_

"Five." It was Minase's turn again.

_"If i convince myself it was meant to be, _  
_maybe I wouldn't feel so alone..."_

Io more and more hated himseld being in there. Everyone even that damned Minase, Io could tell that the guy had been having proper music lessons. His intonations and ability to hit notes without exaggerating was good. Io realized that the jerk had something to back his irritating confidence.

Not just Minase, but almost all the people left to undergo the second round were all good. It was as if in that circle, he was the only one making funny sounds. A freaking ugly fish out of water. Worse than an amateur.

No matter how much he wanted to reach the notes, he couldn't. He could hear the music notes perfectly in his head, but they come off aweful from his mouth.

Io didn't dare raise his head while the round was going on. He knew he was soon crying on the spot. And that was the last thing he wanted to happen.

"Four."

_"Each and every single answer that comes my way_" Because Io was soon crying, his awful singing had just become even worse.  
_"Have way too many hypocrisies to say"_ But he continued anyway.  
"_They erase the path that I need to take to the other side"_ If he couldn't sing at least he was professional enough to finish what he started. Even if he was humiliating himself.

The rounds continued until those who weren't able to sing because of staring into space were given the chance. Some was able to sing three times, some four times and some just two times. Nevertheless it ended soon like how Ijuuin wanted it.

Sagara started walking at Io who stood right after the rounds has ended.

"Shizuku-kun...want to grab something to drink?"

Ijuuin was still on his chair acting the lazy head that he was while Fuji was gathering back the balls with numbers back in his box.

Io felt a heavy hand smack him on the back playfully. "Wow...Io...I didn't expect that..." Minase muttered.

Sagara smiled weakly. "It wasn't that bad right?" he muttered in an attempt to make Io feel better. But Io knew it better than anyone else and he hated people lying just to make him feel good.

"What are you saying?" Minase leered. "I didn't expect that it would be worse than I imagined. But I am so awed by your guts to continue...If I were you I will seriously just go out than continue making a fool of myself," and the blonde made his way out the conference room for another ten minute break.

"Shizuku-kun..." Sagara called but Io didn't look back at him and instead went to Fuji to drop his number back in the box.

On the process, Io and Ijuuin's gazes met. Ijuuin, still the serious face he was having during the second round of screening and Io, who had been fixing his hair on the sides of his face. It was Io's failed attempt to hide the redness in his eyes.

"Come back here after ten minutes please..." Fuji announced to everyone left in the spacious conference room.

* * *

When it was only Fuji and Ijuuin left in the conference room, Fuji sat on one of the chairs eyeing Ijuuin.

"So? How many are going to go the final screening?"

"Undecided..." the man answered rather lazily while playing with the white balls inside the box.

"Come on...you could even say right away after each of them sang."

"I also have ten minutes of break..." Ijuuin muttered while standing from his chair.

"Are you for real? That's only for the youngsters who auditioned. You're supposed to make decisions here..."

"I'll take a piss."

Fuji sighed in defeat and raised both his hands. "Fine...come back here right away though."

* * *

Ijuuin walked out the conference room and inserted his hands in his pockets. Taking a left turn, he was met by his personally designed hallway of red and black and white and moved on, pondering about Io's appearance.

_"Perhaps, it was Takahashi who told that punk..."_ he thought. "It's so like him..." he smiled a little.

Instead of trying to use the bathroom in his office, he decided to use the one in a vacant office room at the farthest side of the hallway. It was his office room before but he moved out of it simply because he was annoyed with the one-way mirror walls of that area. Everyone who passed his office would look at the mirror, check on their teeth and fix their hair, not knowing that Ijuuin could see their funny mugs on the other side. And that distracted him.

When he entered the room, it was silent and a little dusty and it didn't smell nice. But he went in anyway and did his business.

However, when he went out the comfort room in his former office thinking he'd have them remove the one-way mirror walls, he found himself for a moment motionless, as he saw Io standing outside the room facing the one way mirror, hand on his lips and eyes shut. Crying hard.

* * *

**Chapter notes:**

yaho! thank you for your time and support! right now i am very busy finishing **QUEER AS FOLK(american version)**. it's my addiction right now. if you haven't watched it yet, please do, you'll fall in love with BrianXJustin. Brian is the Supreme King of Jerks that everyone wants and Justin is this sweet kid following after Brian.

Seriously, it's like a Junjou Romantica a little nastier version. A harsher Usami and a daring Misaki. LoL.

**the song is calc piano english version because it has a japanese version. for everyone to understand i used the english version**

**one-way mirror walls- ** walls that looked like a huge mirror on the outside but people inside could see the other side like they're staring at a transparent glass.

shuusetsu-:*:・(^∀^)・:*:


	42. Guilt

hi guys! i am back and still wandering!BUT THERE still will be lapses^^ ! muahaha whew...anyway...I AM ALWAYS GRateTFUL TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU. AND TRUTHFULLY. I LOVE IJUUIN AND IO so far. So I am going to make their story...as interesting as possible as i can! domo! -

* * *

**††††Guilt††††**

* * *

It was a headache. Wherever Io darted his gaze, the color combination of everything in that eight floor was burning a painful throb inside his skull. If he was in any other day and situation, he might have appreciated, more like mocked the weird red sofas, white silk pillows on top of it and the black tiled floors and creepy abstract paintings hanging on the walls. It somehow looked like a cake for some reason.

Io wanted to laugh. But as soon as he realized that he had reached the end of the hallway he was trudging, instead of laughing, an unexplainable feeling of a heavy burden rushed over him. He felt as if he couldn't breath. It didn't help that he was facing these mirror walls.

Mirrors that just pictured his whole miserable self.

His green eyes examined himself in the mirror both with anger and more anger.

"This is different. What made you think that everything will be fucking alright?" the teen whispered, glaring at his red eyes on the verge of shedding uncalled for tears. "Naive. You're so stupidly naive Ishi..."

He didn't want to admit it, but he was thinking that if Misaki was able to do it, he certainly could as well. But being in that second screening was a slap to him. A slap that brought him back to reality. The sting in his pride was telling him that he and Misaki had a different circumstance. And that circumstance was Misaki could sing and he could not.

"If only..." Io was afraid his sobs would be heard. He was so afraid that someone would see right through him that his lips began to tremble. "If only I didn't get sick..."

For a person who was able to do the thing he wanted since childhood and suddenly that thing was taken mercilessly away from him, it was harder to accept than being born without it.

"At the end of the day, people will shut up because that Takahashi got something to shut them up...I on the other hand..."

Seeing himself cry through the mirrors only made him feel more pathetic than he already was feeling. He shut his eyes but he could still see his self.

It was demeaning.

And he felt like it wasn't just meer ten minutes of crying he did. Stopping his lips from making sounds that would embarrass him even more, he placed his hand over his cold and trembling mouth and cried for a time that felt for all eternity.

* * *

The last time he drove there, the autumn leaves were scattered all around trailing behind his car that was past speed limit. Neighborhood that as quiet as a cemetery, Ijuuin focused his eyes at the nearing, old bluish house that gave a different glow in the middle of the dark, chilly night sky.

He slowed his speed, thinking of the previous events. It was somehow a surprise for him. He had always tried to stop thinking about things from work when he was out driving, unless he was thinking of some inspiration when composing. It was just that Io or Shizuku Ishi, or whoever the brat he was, was nagging Ijuuin.

The same nagging feeling of not wanting to leave the kid alone. The same kind he felt for Misaki. An irritation of wanting to bring the best out of the kid. But in Io's case, Ijuuin couldn't find a thing for Io to use except his very unrespectful eyes that glare to almost anyone without care.

"Haha," Ijuuin mockingly laughed at himself. "You can't do anything for that brat even if he cried like that," frowning, Ijuuin swore he'd really have those one way mirror removed. If anything, he didn't want to see another crying face on the other side of the wall. It was as if he was being set up and he didn't do anything towards the kid but for some reason he felt guilty.

Guilty when he told Io to go home.

_"For the third round, I only chose three. I'll call each of your names and tell you if you made it or not," Ijuuin muttered a matter of factly like he was just about to announce the weather forecast._

_The ten composed of six males and four females were seated like they were glued on their seats with their necks about to break at trying to focus at Ijuuin Kyo's face. For the killing effect, Ijuuin paused for a long while first, fanning the papers he was holding and yawning here and there like he didn't care._

_"Okay...Tanaka Akane...hmmm..." Ijuuin squinted his eyes. He didn't have any notes about the persons who auditioned. He was just basing everything on his hopefully good memory of how each performed._

_"You went into an opera school, didn't you?"_

_The girl with black hair nodded with expectant eyes. Anyone who had a good background and training was said to be more advantagious in these kinds of events. Well not for Ijuuin._

_"Though I have a thing for operas, I am afraid your voice is not matched for the incoming project of Sonate. Thank you."_

_"What? But sensei..."_

_"Sagara Rui..." Ijuuin continued as if he didn't hear anything._

_The girl being hurt and unbelieving of what just happened stomped out of the room, slamming the doors shut. But Ijuuin or Fuji seemed not to care._

_"The timber of your voice is fine. But your breathing is bad. You end up catching up on your breath and it doesn't sound good when it's too loud. Work on that. Stay for the third round."_

_Sagara's face lit up my a thousand folds, accepting gracefully the nods of the remaining people inside the conference room._

_"Shizuku Ishi," Ijuuin called._

_It was not as though everyone cared whether the pretty face who used to be on the spot light would make it or not. He clearly wouldn't. They just wanted to hear what the composer has to say so they can laugh at someone within themselves. So even if they didn't make it, they could still feel good about their loss._

_It was one of the ugly realities about a human being. It was scary how a human looks for something to divert their attentions and find something to laugh at to forget about their own shortcomings._

_Io on the other hand remained seated without a change on his blank expression. He just stared at Ijuuin. And for the composer, he could tell himself that the luster on those orbs he saw during Sonate was nowhere to be seen. As if Shizuku Ishi knew already his fate._

_"I must say, I commend your guts," Ijuuin started, eyeing the teen who had an unfaltering mask of numbness. "But you're not cut for this project. I think you know very well the reason."_

_Ijuuin waited for a change of face from the teen. But Io remained like a mannequin staring back at him. Considering he saw how hard the teen cried just earlier, Io was being a very great actor at the time._

_Everyone waited for Io to stand up and leave, but he didn't move an inch from where he was._

_Many thought that perhaps Io wanted to listen to everyone's result so Ijuuin continued. But the man knew better. He knew, if Io so much tried to stand from where he was seated and walk away, the teen would just fall on his knees, making himself fall into more embarrassment._

_"Minase Daisuke."_

_The blonde hooted and raised a brow at Io across him. His feeling of superiority oozing out of him._

_"Stay for the third round," Ijuuin muttered boredly._

_"And fix that attitude," Fuji added._

_In the end, the three that passed were led by Fuji to a different room. One by one, the people inside the conference room disappeared. Ijuuin was planning to close the conference room himself, but Io made no move on where he was._

_"Shizuku..." Ijuuin called with a hint of impatience. "Don't tell me you plan on sitting there forever?"_

_With movements heavier than a boulder, Io stood and walked slowly towards the open doors being held by Ijuuin._

_"Did you think you'd get a special treatment because we met in Sonate?" Ijuuin felt like asking for no reason._

_Putting back his red beanie, Io slightly paused by the door and lifted his gaze towards the dark eyes that seemed like a deep ocean during the night. Deep gaze and full of eeriness._

_"I came here as a professional," the teen replied with a straight face. "Besides, there's no reason for a special treatment. Thank you for the chance."_

_With that, Io trudged his way into the long hallway, his boots clicking loudly againts the black tiles._

_For a composed answer that Io gave, Ijuuin wasn't that all convinced. Specially when the teen said that while his shoulders were slightly shaking._

* * *

Ijuuin parked his car right in front of the door step of the instruments shop where he took Misaki before. When he stepped out, he was welcomed by the cold that seeped throught his thick coat to his lungs. When he exhaled, he watched his own breath disappear and be replaced by another puff like he was smoking an imaginary smoke.

He raised his gloved hand and was about to ring the golden bells at the side of the huge, wooden doors when it opened right in front of his face.

"Hi? Ijuuin-san...I saw your car approaching so I figured I'll open the door for you," Kanata, the teen that the old man who owns the house had adopted greeted while still in his work overalls.

Smiling, Ijuuin stepped in and removed his coat. "Thanks. Still working at this time?"

"Ah yeah, there's a new harp that came earlier and I need to replace some strings, the owner will get it the next day."

"I see. Where's Ojii-chan?"

The young man shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes. "In his work room as usual, working on a violin, listening endlessly to his tapes..."

Ijuuin smiled at the remark of the kid. "I'll go to him. By the way...are you going out or something?"

"Ah yeah, some candles..."

"Candles? You have a visitor?" Ijuuin asked.

"Ah no...he...a shooooot," Kanata ran outside the house and in clumsy steps, waiving at the darkhaired man. "Lock the doors for me Ijuuin-san! The store will be closing within thirty minutes so gotta run!"

The man smiled to himself and locked the door carefully behind him. Even from a distance, Ijuuin could already hear the faint childish voice he heard before. The old man of the house was really the number one fan of that child.

He walked slowly and the song became clearer in his ears. It was a playful, song with an enthusiastic voice from a young boy who seemed to be really enjoying what he was doing.

Reaching the slightly open door, Ijuuin rested his back on the side of its frame and watched the old man work his magic into reviving the dead instrument. The thick, round spectacles on his nose that the man occasionally pushes up back on the bridge of his nose, and the wrinkly hands that treats every instrument in tha house with care never ceases to amaze Ijuuin.

_"The moon is round and the stars are glittery...when the clouds pass by, I feel like I could fly...what do you think Ojii-chan?"_

The old man laughed and nodded as if he was really talking to his tapes. "Very nice song...very nice..."

"Will you really treat me as if I do not exist?" Ijuuin muttered with a grin.

Raising his head in surprise, the old man's small eyes grew wide in surprise and grinned a big one at Ijuuin.

"Ijuuin? What brings you here? You surprised me!"

With careful steps not to step on anything precious in that work room, Ijuuin traced his fingers on the body of the brown, polished violin on the work table.

"Nothing...I just feel a little restless," the man answered before slumping into the recliner before the work table. "Still playing your tapes at this hour? Don't you get tired of them?"

"No...the one I'm playing right now is the last tape my grandson ever recorded before getting sick so it's really one of my treasures..." the old man sat at the edge of his work table and sighed.

"Lately, that kid is very, what's the word?" the old man frowned. "Very...secretive. I mean, he used to tell me what's going on but the past week, all he did when he visited was stay on the rooftop despite the freezing cold."

"Hmm...teenagers are hard to handle nowadays Ojii-chan...you know...puberty?"

The silence of the night and the room aside from the tape playing prevailed and for some reason, it was kind of relaxing for the both of them. Ijuuin could almost feel becoming sleepy.

"Can I get some rosins?" Ijuuin asked with one eyes closed.

"Yeah, I have lots. Have you been playing your violin too much you actually ran out of rosin? That's unbelievable."

Chuckling, Ijuuin rolled to his side. "No...I misplaced it and I couldn't find it."

"You're getting senile at such a young age Ijuuin. Reminds me of my grandson..."

"You really like talking about him the past few days I come here. Why's that?"

There was a deep sigh that escaped the old man's lips. He looked out the window for a while and rubbed the shiny part of his head.

"He used to misplace his rosins too."

"He plays the violin?" Ijuuin asked suddenly interested.

"He doesn't just play the violin. He plays the piano, the harp, the flute, the saxophone, the guitar...he could almost play practically any kind of instruments."

Ijuuin whistled. "Gifted..."

"I wouldn't say that. Well, you remember I told you he loves to sing but got a throat infection and went into an operation and lost the ability to sing? He suddenly went to study instrument after instrument after instrument as if nothing is enough. Maybe he was looking for something to fill the hole in him. So he became a jack of all trades."

Ijuuin nodded slightly, staring at the yellowish bulb above his head. "Poor kid..."

"Haha, I sure would advice you never tell him that...or he'll pull your tongue out."

"Yeah speaking of that...how come I have never met your grandson if he goes here to visit?"

"Strangely, now that I think about it Ijuuin..." the old man frowned and scratched his chin. "Each time he arrives, it's either you already drove off, or he just got out when you got in."

The two started talking about random things about life and how shitty the food from the newly opened rastaurant nearby was when the two men heard a loud screeching sound of a car that seemed to be running past the speed limit and suddenly stopped out of nowhere.

The footstep that came from the main door sounded so heavy as if it was a giant walking inside the house.

"Someone's not in a good mood today."

Ijuuin sat abruptly from his soothing recliner and cocked his head. "The grandson?"

"He only uses the main door when he's pissed. He usually uses the backdoor under normal circumstances."

"OJII-CHAN! OJII-CHAN?!" the voice roared still from a distance.

"Dear, I'm here in the work room!" the old man yelled with all his strenght although it sounded like he was just whispering.

The loud steps grew louder and Ijuuin could swear the whole old house was about to collapse any moment.

"WHO'S THE FREAKING RETARDED THAT PARKED THE CAR IN FRONT OF THE DOOR WAY?!"

If Ijuuin was drinking something, he sure would have choked on it. The old man smiled an apologetic smile.

"You have a sweet grandson, Ojii-chan," Ijuuin commented with a face that said the opposite.

"AND THE DOOR IS NOT FREAKING LOCKED!? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PUT LOCKS IF YOU'RE NOT USING THEM? MIGHT AS WELL JUST LEAVE THE DOORS AND WINDOWS OPEN TO HELP THE BURGLARS COME IN EASILY!"

The two males inside the work room looked at each other.

"I locked the door..." Ijuuin whispered to the old man. "I think?"

A brunette came in flying into the work room, not seeing Ijuuin who had sunk relaxingly on his recliner. Io or just plain Shizuku Ishi stomped towards the cassette playing his childhood tapes and glared accusingly at the old man.

"Why are you still playing this shit?" surprisingly, the voice that was just thundering inside the entire house came out that could be taken as only a faint whisper.

Removing his coat, Io threw it on the empty work table on the side and stopped the casette. It cause a creepy kind of silence which made the old man a little nervous. He could plainly see how furious at something Io was.

"Hi dear! Don't I get a hug?"

The teen silently, like a dying robot dragged his feet towards the old man and gave his grandfather a bear hug.

"I missed you Ishi...oh by the way...I have a visitor."

Io lifted his face from his grandpa's shoulders and looked away. "Yeah? I know...the one that parked in front of the door way."

Ijuuin thought that he really hated teenagers except Misaki. So he sat properly from his recliner and grinned a cocky one.

"Hi? I'm Ijuuin. The retarded one."

The old man almost laughed but stopped himself.

When Io laid his eyes at the darkhaired man and when Ijuuin laid his eyes towards the cheeky, grandson of his friend, both looked like they were punched in the stomach.

"What are you doing here?" Io spat, still clinging to his grandfather.

The old man sighed and patted Io on the back. "Now, now, Ishi dear, show some respect his older than you. And it's the first time you even met him so be accomodating."

Io removed his claws from his grandfather and started to walk towards the open door. "Not in the mood for pleasantries. I'm hungry."

"Ishi...how was your day? Care to tell me? I mean, Kanata will be here soon."

Io turned his head at his grandfather and raised a brow at Ijuuin. "Nothing much. I am boring as always."

"What a shitty day..." Ijuuin and the old man heard it but they both remained silent. They listened to the fading clicking of Io's boots in the hallways until they heard a slamming sound of a door shut. They were kind of surprised that the whole place was still in one piece.

"Uhm...Ijuuin..." the older man interrupted the silence after Io stormed in and stormed out. "Forgive him on my behalf. I could smell alcohol all over him so he's really...all over the place. Sorry if he insulted you in anyway."

Ijuuin stood and shook his head sideways. "No it's fine. Doesn't matter. Seems like I didn't get a good impression."

"Come follow me to the kitchen..." the old man threw his work apron and walked out with Ijuuin following from behind. "I wonder what's wrong with that kid this time driving to here drunk..."

Ijuuin clicked his tongue, well aware of the reason why.

"You know that kid loves partying but he never drinks like that when he knows he will drive home."

Before the two could reach the kitchen, Ijuuin stopped on his track. He was quite surprised that the grandson turned out to be Io. And deciding it wasn't good to stay longer, he decided to just go. "Maybe I should go and come back some other time."

The old man almost dragged Ijuuin into the kitchen by yanking the man's arm.

"Oh no, you're going nowhere."

At the sight of the kitchen, Ijuuin suddenly realized where the guilt feeling he felt during after the second round of screening earlier was coming.

"Sit there and celebrate with us! It's my grandson's birthday today."

Ijuuin darted his eyes from the childish cake to the red balloons and some finger foods on the table. It was like a 5-year old boy's birthday party.

"Actually, he stopped celebrating his birthday after he got sick but we force him anyway."

Despite being told that the boy was not really eager to have his birthday celebrated, Ijuuin thought it to be a huge fat lie. People who deny something strongly, these things somehow are what people really wanted deep inside. And it didn't help that Ijuuin knew he just gave Io the best gift ever.

It was not like Ijuuin could do something. Io couldn't sing and that was it. End of conversation. He really wished he hadn't seen Io cry though. He hated seeing people in their weakness. Because once you do, you'd be involved. And once one get involved, there would be no forgetting.

It was not like Io did it on purpose; Ijuuin on the other side of the one way mirror, and Io crying on the other side. It was never planned by the bully called fate. Or was it?

Excitedly, the old man passed to Ijuuin a party popper and signed for him to sit.

"I am sure my Ishi could use some extra cheering from you."

Ijuuin smiled awkwardly while his inner self was shaking his head in annoyance. "Yeah...right."

He just told Io that early evening that he was not cut for something he really wanted on his very birthday. What great timing.

And though he didn't do anything wrong, the crying Io earlier and the cheeky brat just a while ago was causing him a little havoc. He didn't like complicated teenagers around him. They smell trouble.

* * *

**notes:**

**refresher**: in previous chapters i have mentioned that Io is a very talented person actually. he could sing when he was younger but lost it due to an operation.^^

**rosin:** looks like hardened honey that musicians rub up and down the lenght of the violin's bow. (i myself always forget where i put them..muahaha)

thanks for the support and kind words!

-shuusetsu

* * *

**notes 2:**

_i receieved a pm about why it's as though i am focusing on IjuuinXIo too much. hehehe maybe this has become a real concern ne? anyway if this is also your concern. sorry about that. but i intend to establish IjuuinXio properly too._

_UsagiXMisaki will continue of course though i am focusing on Ijuuin and Io for now. ^^_


	43. Permissions

~❤ (^-^/)~❤ (^-^/)i just want to tell you guys that i am very grateful and happy that you give your time reading this **fiction!** and i also appreciate your kind words!

for **mika** who wrote a review for** the torn canvas:** if you happen to be also reading this story, sorry if i haven't updated that for a long while. i posted an announcement in tumblr that it's last chappy will be released within this week so watch out for that! hehehe

i made a short review of the BL games i have played. maybe you wanna see them? hehe

mainichiyaoi . tum blr -dot- cOm/post/49784861729/evolution-of-bl-games-modest- to

**for UsagiXMisaki and IjuuinXIo...here we go!**

* * *

**『『『『 ****Permission 』』』』**

* * *

'Where did he go?"

Amidst the patients in wheelchairs being wheeled to their therapy sessions and nurses doing their rounds, his lavender eyes were only focused on searching one person. His Misaki.

Whisperings and murmurs reached Usami's ears as he walked in the first floor hallways. The white, tiled floors shining, and the glass panes of the hospital windows reflected his silhouette as he walked by. Outside was already dim. A signal that he and his young lover should go home.

At the farthest end of the long hallway, there was an open area and not long the tall man had realized it was for smokers. He traced his eyes among the men and women taking their breaks. Mostly they were doctors and nurses killing time by killing their lungs.

It was ironic how people already knew what was bad and yet they still do it.

His ears perked up when he heard a familiar giggle. A soft laugh that sounded strangely calming to his senses. And there he found Misaki laughing together with the eccentric blonde man called Arisaka.

For a moment, Usami just stood there. He was almost being hidden by a vendo machine. His lavender eyes watched every movement the teen made. How Misaki would laugh and smile. When the teen smiles, his whole face lits up and it was contagious.

Usami Akihiko, looking at his young lover like that, he couldn't have agreed any less than what Takahashi Takahiro had said.

* * *

"Misaki is a precious child," the unseeing man muttered with a sense of pride.

It was a man to man talk. The brother versus the lover. The family by blood versus the family by love. It was serious and somehow strange how both men found themselves in that situation. They weren't related and by all means weren't close as well. Their only link was the one and only Misaki, who for both men was the most precious being in the world.

Usami remained standing. His eyes fixed at the dark hair and the eyes that were serious. He figured the man was looking at him through sensing instead of seeing.

"I apologize if it took me a long time before coming here," Usami started, his voice soft and calm.

Takahiro lifted his gaze as if trying to look at Usami. "Do you really love my brother?" Takahiro asked. He knew it was a stupid question but he wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully until he hears it from the man himself.

"More than everything. He's so precious that's why I love him."

A mournful sigh escaped Takahiro's lips. He wasn't trying to hide what little objection still remained in his mind about his younger brother's relationship. "You're ten years his senior...my brother could be really childish at times...how can you be so sure that you won't get tired of him?"

The ticking of the clock hanging by the wall sounded louder than usual. For Usami, he wasn't really the type to entertain questions and for Takahiro, he wasn't the interrogating type. But both knew as well that for them having Misaki in the middle, they must come into terms and be transparent with each other. For any misunderstanding on their parts, it will leave Misaki the one hurting.

"Plus, I am well aware that many women are after you. Despite you admitting you're not interested with women, the fact that you're rich and handsome and famous, there's no way they'd give up so easily," Takahiro continued. "Women by nature tend to live in fairy tales. Whatever happens, they'd have this hope that you'll come around. What will my brother do then?"

Usami drew a deep breath. In all honesty he haven't thought about any of those things. Because the moment he asked Misaki to live with him, even before all the things in Sonate happened, he had already settled that his eyes, heart and soul were already set only for Misaki.

"Takahashi-san, the only sure thing in this place is that Misaki is my world. Please be rest assured that no matter what happens, it is always Misaki's well being that comes in first."

A silence enveloped them. It almost allowed them to hear not just the clock but the faint sound of shoes echoing in the hallways and the distant laughter coming from somewhere.

"Don't make him cry," Takahiro cut the silence with a furrow. "Don't let him feel alone. Don't let him get sick. And most of all, don't let others hurt him because if you fail to do these things...I swear Usami-san, even though I can't see and I can't walk, I am well aware of my capacity to kill."

Usami stepped closer to Takahiro's bed. He drew a deep breath once more and smiled.

"I won't give you the opportunity and the reason to kill me. That I can assure you."

Takahiro's stiff shoulders relaxed and for a moment, he smiled as well. The man raised his right hand as if in search for Usami's. And right that moment, Usami realized that both of them had this agreement. And a man's handshake enveloped with integrity and pride would seal it.

Without hesitating, Usami reached for the man's hand and grasped it tightly. All the assurance that with that very same hand, Misaki will be cared for tenderly.

After a couple of seconds, their hands parted and another silence prevailed. Usami has decided that he won't be leaving that room until he gets what he wanted.

"Takahashi-san...I have something to ask of you."

A questioning look flashed before the man's face and shifted on his bed. "What is it?"

With a straight face and a convicted voice, Usami Akihiko had muttered the words he thought he would never say in his life. "I am planning on adopting Misaki."

For a moment, Takahiro seemed not to have grasped the real meaning behind those words. He opened his mouth and closed them once more not knowing what to do with what he just heard.

"I am asking for your brother's hand," the silverhaired man continued.

That was when the bells started ringing in Takahiro's mind. Being with Arisaka-san almost all of the time the man was free, he was stuffed with information he wouldn't know if not for the blonde chatter box that always had the time for him and for his younger brother.

Once, Arisaka mentioned that adoption is synonymous to marriage for male to male couples. And hearing those words, hearing those almost unbelievable words himself, Takahiro was left with his chest in shambles.

The silence this time was heavier as both men weighed the impact of the words that was just muttered.

Takahiro was still speechless while Usami felt that after saying the words, it was more real than reality.

Usami just watched the man in hospital robes sigh and shake his head as if in deep thinking. His lavender eyes didn't fail to notice Takahiro's tightening grip on his blanket that was on his lap.

That moment, Takahiro had only one thing in mind. That if this man before him was not serious, the idea of tying himself down with his brother wouldn't even cross Usami's mind. He wasn't sure whether to feel at ease or to feel alarmed. Marriage, or in this case, adaption was a matter that was very new to him.

To Takahiro's surprise, he found his lips curling into a smile. "Whatever Misaki's decision is will be mine."

Usami touched Takahiro's hand that was resting on the man's lap for a short period of time. It was light, and warm accompanied by a small thank you that sounded teary to Takahiro.

Both men said their goodbyes with both their chests feeling a sense of companionship and bond. The bond was Misaki.

* * *

"No...no...winning the Sonate didn't make me free from working!" Misaki mumbled. "I even got busier!" he laughed. He was complaining jokingly because obviously, by the glow in his eyes he was enjoying every bit of it.

"I see..." Arisaka commented before taking a long drag of his cigarette. "Give me tickets to the new year's event okay? This time I am watching in person. I don't want to have to shout at the laptop anymore."

Again, Misaki laughed. The laughter that made the other people sitting on their benches smile on their own.

Adoration, love and utmost concern were glinting on Usami's eyes as he watched the back of his Misaki joke around with Arisaka.

As a composer and a song writer, Usami Akihiko had devoted part of his time reading and understanding emotions from stories and texbooks.

Now he didn't have to anymore. Before he only gets his inspiration from the lingering dream of having met a boy in the woods. Now his very same dream was within his grasp. There was one article he have read that lovers designed by fate and destiny have this sort of telepathy between them. More than words, it's the sense of feeling the other that allows them to tell whether one was in distress, in trouble or happy.

Because these lovers with deep connection which roots have coiled around strong emotions such as need and passion, their souls that have become half of the whole will be always in search for the other.

Call and the other half will respond.

_"I'm here, Misaki,"_ the man called in his mind as he remained standing there watching Misaki who had his back on him.

Like a camera panning closer, the whole picture focused on Usami Akihiko's perfect lips that curled into a charming, touching smile.

Misaki for no reason had turned his head right towards the vendo machine. Smiling, the teen waived his hand delighted, "Usagi-san!"

Indeed, there was no questioning to it. Usami Akihiko's other half did respond.

* * *

Who would have thought that right at that moment, it was a birthday celebration and not a deathrow sentence they were commemorating?

Io whose cheeks were faintly flushed due to the previous drinking he had was scowling on his seat. It was obvious the teen wasn't the least bit pleased to seat across this stranger before him. If possible, he didn't even want to have anything to do with Ijuuin Kyo. But then, the man was there, a freaking long time friend of his grandfather. What sort of curse was he having?

Ijuuin roamed his eyes around. The table where this chocolotae moose cake was lit with white candles was the only sweet thing on the table. Other than that, it was seaweed soup, tsukemen and roast beef prepapared for the celebration. It looked childish because of the balloons and the crazy hats scattered around. There was no doubt that the grandfather was more childish than the grandchild.

"Okay...okay. Before we start, why don't we give my precious grandson some words of appreciation or encouragement?!" the old man started, clapping his hands thrice.

The teen slumped on his chair and scowled even more. "Why can't we just freaking eat Ojii-chan?"

Frowning jokingly, the old man tapped his chest and cleared his throat. "Ah dear, birthdays only come once a year. Try to at least be grateful of the things that were given to you..."

"Fuck thankful," Io mumbled, crampling the tissue paper he grabbed off the table.

Kanata who was so used with this scenario every year sighed and smiled at his adopted father. "I'll start Ojii-chan."

"Ishi," Kanata started with a gaze at the other teen full of concern and more than that. "Happy nineteenth birthday."

Faking a smile which was very obvious, Io blew the hair that was dangling before his eyes.

"Thank you for accepting me and treating me as a family despite my circumstances..."

Hearing that, Io became poker faced. Treating family? To their neighbors' eyes, what Io mostly did was boss around Kanata like he was his personal servant. The birthday celebrant couldn't help wondering whether Kanata was a saint. Somehow reminds him of Misaki.

"I am sure, whatever you dream of, they'll come true."

If not for Io's grandfather who had smacked him on the back, Io wouldn't say anything at all.

"Ouch. Fine fine!" Io grumbled. After a couple of seconds, Io darted his gaze towards his plate, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

The laugh of the oldest man in that room was too loud. The chair scraping against the wooden floor was a little irritating to the ears but no one mentioned it. The old man stood and paid everyone on that room an approving look.

"Well...what can I say?" the man started sounding like he was about to cry. "I can't believe my little grandson has turned into someone as talented and good looking as this..." he sniffed and gazed lovingly at Io who had turned his gaze away.

_Damn Ojii-chan so embarassing..._

"Despite everything that has happened, I know Ishi you're strong. Keep that fighting spirit in you. I am sure they will be returned ten fold...I am sure...you'll get what you really dream of..." the old man sat back on his chair and reached for Ishi's hair. Patting it gently, he smiled. "I am very blessed to have a sweet and loving grandchild as you Ishi. Happy birthday."

_What a doting grandfather._ Ijuuin thought. Wherever he looked there was nothing 'sweet' about Io.

Io didn't answer. If anything, he wanted to just get it over with and eat.

On the other hand, Ijuuin found himself staring at Kanata and the old man alternatingly. It was as if these people's gazes were saying 'say something'. Io also felt that so he raised a brow at Ijuuin.

"You don't have to join in this cheesiness ," Io announced and started slicing a part of the cake for himself. "Let's just eat."

Io stared disbelieving at the old man when a wrinkled hand smacked his hand away from the cake. "At least let my visitor say something," the old man muttered frowning. "Ne...Ijuuin...I know you have something in your mind. Say it."

"Ha? Well..." Ijuuin sighed a defeated one. If he won't say anything, the old man would never leave him alone. "Okay."

Ijuuin turned his black gaze at the teen across him. Io was so uncooperative but he still dropped his heavy gaze at the brunette. He wanted to lock gazes with the teen. He didn't know but he realized that he did want to say something to Io.

"Are you holding a grudge to me about earlier?" Ijuuin asked without any expression on his face.

That caught Io's attention. He was indeed uncomfortable before the guy who rejected him. Well it wasn't really rejection since he was told to go home based on his abilities anyway. But that still hurt him and with that, he didn't want to see Ijuuin's mug or hear anything coming from the man.

"I'm a professional. Of course...not," the sound of Io's voice betrayed him though.

The other two persons Kanata and the old man was left out of the conversation but they didn't intervene. For they both felt that it was of importance whatever was being discussed.

Ijuuin wouldn't let go of Io. He kept his gaze at the green eyes staring back at him. Because Io was as stubborn as Ijuuin was, Io wouldn't allow himself to look away first. Doing so would mean another loss right? And so the battle of staring and searching into deep one's soul started.

"Actually, based on the events that happened, I think my personal motto would work on you," Ijuuin cut the silence with cold, careful words.

Io crossed his arms as if challenging Ijuuin. The old man was just left staring alternatingly from his guest to his grandson with patience.

"Never worry about the delay of your success compared to others..." Ijuuin started looking more serious as if he wanted to etch on Io's brain every single word he was saying. "Because construction of a palace takes more time than an ordinary building."*

"..."

For a moment, nothing else mattered. Io's stiff expression softened. And the crossed arms fell on his side.

Ijuuin who was having the serious face smiled faintly. It wasn't a huge smile. It was just a meer curling of the corners of his lips upwards with no more than five seconds. Somehow, out of all the things Io heard that evening, those were the words that formed a lump in his throat.

"Happy Birthday," Ijuuin ended with a more cheery tone.

The forced birthday celebration started. Kanata, the old man and Ijuuin started filling their plates with food. The lively chatterings filled the entire warm and homey kitchen. The clatterings of plates and glasses echoed even outside. And Io, the birthday celebrant just kept on stabbing his moose cake with his fork while throwing stolen glances at the darkhaired man who was currently busy chatting with his grandfather.

_Construction of a palace huh?_ Io thought, stabbing his cake into pitiful pieces._ I don't even have the foundation to begin with. What a joke._

Io did think that, but he just didn't want to admit that it gave him a little hope. Just a little to keep his fighting spirit still blazing. For in that moment, before Ijuuin told him that, his flame was already dying out.

"Hey! Hey! Let's take a picture!" Kanata exclaimed already setting the digital camera on timer.

The camera was setup before Io so he didn't have to stand anymore. With hurried steps that sent the floor shaking, Kanata and even the old man rushed to Io's side.

"Ei! Ijuuin, come join us!" the old man ordered.

Ijuuin looked at Io for a moment. Io darted his gaze away with a 'hmmft'. Smiling to himself, Ijuuin stood behind Io's chair.

"9...8...7" Kanata started counting.

Io who in his personality would still smile charmingly in front of the camera whatever the situation was started flashing his pearly whites. However, goosebumps started crawling on his arms when he felt a warm breath carressing his ears.

"6...5...4"

"Ne, Io-kun...why don't you work for me?" Ijuuin whispered ever so softly.

Abruptly, Io turned his surprised face at Ijuuin, accidentally brushing his lips against the tip of Ijuuin's nose.

Snap!

Kanata who was a keen observer rushed towards the camera, getting to it before Io could.

"Damn it! Kanata, delete that picture! Delete that!" Io shouted, running after Kanata who started running out of the kitchen.

Within a matter of minutes, the boring celebration turned into chaos. Kanata's laughter filled the house, accompanied by Io's angry shouts and cursings.

"This is worth keeping for Ishi!" Running with his gaze at the screen of his digicam, he couldn't help but grin at the first time Io looked so surprised in a picture. The usual cold and emotionless smile Io always had was gone and was replaced by a funny shocked face. Not to mention Io had his lips on their guest's nose. It was quite a remembrance.

And for Kanata who always had to put Io's birthday pictures in an album, this picture accidentally taken was better than the smile with no feelings Io had before. For this one, Io looked lively and felt like he really was also just any human being.

Kanata's shout and laugh obviously coming from a distance made Ijuuin and the older man realize that the two teens had already taken their 'catch me' game out of the house.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU KANATA! ERASE THAT!"

"No way!"

* * *

"So...seems like I am missing on something important here, Ijuuin," the owner of the house started before gulping a mouthful of cold sake.

Ijuuin had his gaze out the window, catching a glimpse of running Kanata and Io outside.

"It's a crazy long story Ojii-chan. Even I don't know how it ended up like this," Ijuuin answered with an amused smiled.

"I heard it. You asking my grandson working for you. What is really going on?"

"Say...I want to help him build his own palace?" Ijuuin grinned. But the seriousness in his eyes were so visible the old man knew in an instant that Ijuuin wasn't joking.

The old man looked at the unfinished plate of Io and sighed. "And you be his contractor huh? That's funny..."

"You don't approve?"

The time the old man was thinking, it felt like the old man was weighing something inside him. After a full two-minute silence, he lifted his gaze at the dark eyes before him and sighed a happy one. "If Ishi will accept then I don't have any qualms about it. But let me remind you, Ishi had never worked in his entire life aside from his job before. He only know how to act spoiled and play instruments...what could he do for you?"

Ijuuin sipped a bit of his cold sake himself and smiled at the old man. "We'll see Ojii-chan. Anyway...can I ask for a favor?"

"Favor?" the old man creased his forehead. Ijuuin rarely, almost never asked for a favor. "What is it?"

"If it's possible, could you send me a copy of Io's medical records when he got sick?"

* * *

**chapter end notes: **

hi everyone! hahaha...hello? hello? hello? the kind words of people who supports this is my fuel! hahah...so thank you for your thoughts and encouragement!

"Never worry about the delay of your success compared to others. Because construction of a palace takes more time than an ordinary building."***-author unknown**

_**shuusetsu's corner:**_

_i just feel like sharing because i remembered it. there's no harm in it right? _

_once during school festival, since i was the curious type i walked around the stalls in search for something good. i was tired of marriage booths and haunted houses and i have no money anymore after all the eating i did._

_on the school grounds, i noticed this huge round circles i didn't see earlier. off my stupid curiosity got the better of me and i tried to step on it. i haven't even placed my foot inside completely, seniors ran around me like i was a criminal._

_well, technically i was a criminal that day because they said anyone who sets foot in that circle are convicts. so with my pleas not working, merciless seniors dragged me to what seemed like a prison with real bars._

_it was full. the only way for me to get out was someone should bail me out. unfortunately, since i went on my own, there's no one to bail me out. poor me just massaged the bars with the other students shouting behind me. i stayed there for almost two hours._

_then, like the defeated girl that i was, hungry and tired from waiting, someone called out to me._

_"this suits you."_

_when i looked up, it was my classmate that always got this annoying air around him._

_"what?"_

_he narrowed his eyes and looked past through the bars as if he was watching a show._

_"you guys look like caged monkeys."_

_i scowled at him. "if you don't plan on bailing me out just shut up and leave."_

_he somehow laughed and really left me! i couldn't believe him._

_but then, after a couple of minutes, one of the 'guards' of that prison called me and said i was free._

_i guess he did bail me out. though he already disappeared and went back to our class' booth._

school festivals are always fun. makes you feel alive. :*:・(￣∀￣)・:*:


	44. Meeting and Waiting

Yo minna! Been a while ne? ne? again, thank you for the support and kind words! they mean so much a lot to me..^^

* * *

**【【【****Meeting and Waiting】】】**

He was all sleeping so soundly, peacefully and deeply, the kind of sleep he rarely had the chance to experience, only to be awaken by a sudden loud thud. His own body falling on the floor from his bed.

"Shit..." the teen grumbled early in the morning, feeling the cold hard floor against his back. Still dazed, he slowly sat and looked around. It was still his own room alright. He slowly traced his room with his still sleepy eyes when he as if something cold was poured over him, he stood abruptly and walked back and forth.

"How did I end up like this? I was chasing after Kanata and that damned camera...how on Earth..."

"Ishi...you up already?" a muffled voice cut out Io's train of thoughts. It was accompanied by soft knocking and a faint laughter. "I heard your fall even from downstairs. Are you still in one piece?"

Drawing a deep breath, Io flew to the door and opened the door in one swing. "You bastard...what happened last night?

As if it was nothing of a big deal, dear Kanata sat on Io's bed and told the standing teen his escapade last night. How Io ran around the the house screaming. That Kanata wondered after some time what happened to Io when he realized no one was already running after him. When he traced his steps back, he found Io lying on the floor sleeping like the dead. Probably because he was already drunk even before their birthday celebration started.

"And so, since I am not very strong and Ojii-san is already brittle...what's his name again?" Kanata rubbed his temples. "Ah...Ijuuin-san right? He offered to carry you to your room. Isn't he a good guy?" Kanata asked with meaningful grin.

" .FUCK?" Io spat, wanting to deny everything he heard. "CARRIED ME? FROM DOWNSTAIRS TO HERE?" he shrieked.

The other teen nodded. "Yup...like a princess."

"I don't believe this...somebody kill me..." Io mumbled totally annoyed. He couldn't believe he just made a fool of himself in front of a stranger. To the man he didn't have to do anything with, no less.

Io nonchalantly walked towards his own bed with Kanata just watching him. And out of nowhere grabbed the pillow and smashed it against Kanata's head. "This is all your fucking fault, you better remember this!"

* * *

"It's really nice to be born in a well to-do family, isn't it?"

"What nice?" Io turned his head, his hair still dripping wet from the shower he just had. "My pig of a manager just disappeared, I don't have any offers anymore...I am going poor!"

Kanata who was lying on his stomach on Io's bed rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling.

"You don't even have to work at all..."

"Dude, I may be a spoiled brat, but I'd like to pay for my own clubbing and toys you know."

That's what Io said. Although forty percent of it was true, the remaining sixty percent was because he just wanted to be independent.

His parents were too open for him. Too understanding even. Accepting him being gay, accepting him being a pain in the neck that sometimes, Io ended up thinking if they really cared one bit at all.

"Say, Ishi...what's so good about being gay?"

With a creepy smile, Io sat on the edge of his vanity table and crossed his arms on his chest.

"Oh my God, Kanata, did you know that starting being interested about such the smallest matters like this...is the beginning of your own...journey as..."

"Cut it out! I am courting a girl right now you know...I may have nothing against you playing wild but I'd appreciate it you not getting any ideas that I'm turning to the other side of the team..."

Shrugging his shoulders, Io started blow drying his hair in front of the mirror.

"Say...do you have any plans today? You even went out of bed early despite dropping drunk last night..."

The green eyed boy pulled out a black vneck long sleeves shirt and put it on. The color somehow just made Io look paler than he already was.

"I got an appointment," Io answered a little happy. "I was looking forward to this. I got this invitation that a TV segment wants to do an interiew about my short stay in America. Apparently they're doing an out-of-the-country special..."

"Huh?" Kanata hurriedly sat from where he was lying, eyeing his childhood playmate curiously. "You said you don't have any manager now right? You did all the negotiations?"

"Yeah. It's just an interview about America and stuff, what's the big deal?"

"I don't know..." Kanata frowned. He wasn't so happy about it but seeing Io looking genuinely excited about it, he shut his mouth.

Finally getting dressed, Io sprayed himself with his favorite cologne and patted his cheeks slightly. "We'll be meeting in Docomo building's lounge...you don't have to prepare food, I'll take my breakfast there."

Carefully zipping up his brown, leather boots around his fitting denims, Io finally couldn't take the stupid face Kanata was pulling in front of him.

"What? They made clear that they will just talk about only America and things about staying there. So stop worrying because you're doing so very well in ruining my mood!"

* * *

That was why, that was why Io stared hard at the middle aged man with brown hair sitting before him. The people in the lounge could still be counted with fingers. It was quiet with only a faint calming music as the background of the place. The antique round tables with flower vases in the middle gave the effect that it wasn't winter but spring. And the delicious aroma of the coffee under their noses that was bought by the ma before him was a clear sign that they meant business. Sneaky business.

Io was thinking all the cheap things about the man grinning in front of him.

"What are you talking about?" Io asked, keeping his cool that wasn't going to last for sure.

"Setting aside America, we got a scoop that you actually auditioned to an event by the BlackMedley's studio right?"

Io's green eyes darted from the round face to the glaring camera at him, rolling and recording every expression he was making. Io's hands under the table were already shaking from anger. These people said it was only about the lifestyle of living in a foreign land. Now this piece of annoying shit was all talking about something Io didn't even want to be publicized.

"You told me over the phone that this is purely about living in the States..." the soft voice Io was trying to still control somehow sounded laboured but the host of that TV segment, the two camera men and a woman standing by didn't even noticed. Or they noticed but they didn't care.

Smiling before taking a little sip of the coffee in a delicate cup, the host then looked at Io without no trace of shame. "Well I'll be honest with you, Io-kun. People would be more interested about your career than what you did in America right? Besides...we heard you did make a mess in the audition."

_Don't joke with me..._Io screamed in his head. "If that's only the thing you're going to ask of then we have nothing to talk about!"

"Oh dear Io, is it that hard to tell us about your carer plans...you have a pretty face...so what if you couldn't sing? You could pass as a tv actor or something...given the way you have deceived everyone...your acting skill is remarkable."

* * *

"Usagi-san...why don't you just come out and say it!" Misaki pouted as the two pair walked hand in hand the SOnate building for coffee.

Usagi was as usual wearing his trademark suit and vest while the teen, as usual was a simple as he can be with onlt a red shirt and a black jacket on top. Poeple by now had been used to seeing the couple hold hands while walking inside the Sonate Buildings.

Most find it cute or rather commendable for standing up on their own and in what they believe. Those who had something to say chose to seal their mouths shut knowing that if they touch or say anything bad about the teen or if they said anything about Usami Akihiko, it was like getting a hammer to smash their own heads with.

"Say what?" Usami asked feigning innocence.

Truthfully, Misaki had been nonstop asking him what he and Takahiro talked about the other day. But of course the man didn't have any intention of uttering a single word. He wanted to keep everything as a secret first. Until then, he would leave Misaki hanging.

"Just tell me what did you and Nii-chan talked about!" Misaki pressed on. "It's weird that you are not telling me anything. Is it perhaps because...he said...he don't like you?"

Usagi let go of Misaki's hand and instead circled them on Misaki's shoulder, squeezing the teen close to him. "Stop being sooooo cute this early...we might not be able to do some work and studying if you continue like this..." Usami whispered in a playful tone.

Frowning and looking away, though Misaki couldn't do anything to hide the heat on his face, Misaki sighed. "Cute...cute...cute...everything I say or do you always say it's cute. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose! Sound like you're mocking me..."

"Mocking you?" Usagi chuckled. "No way I am..."

"DON'T FUCKING MAKE FUN OF ME YOU OLD GEEZER!"

Misaki and Usami stared at each other for a moment at the sudden outburst.

All heads from the hallway turned towards the entrance of Sonate's lounge. People passing by, people taking their breaks outside their office rooms had faces of curiosity and surprise.

"That voice..." Misaki gasped. "I'll go check!"

The brunette broke away from his lover and dashed the remaining few meters of the lounge. When he halted, he didn't know where to look at first. Io was standing, his shoulders heaving up and down as if he just exploded. His face completely in utter anger though his previous fans would have liked the look on that face.

There was another man in a business suit whose face was dripping wet with what seemed like coffee. The aura around that group of people was intense. The people of the TV crew were staring at Io as if he was their greatest enemy. Four against one, and Io still remained standing strong before them. If he ever showed any weakness in front of those bastards, he felt like nothing would be left at all for him.

"You damned brat!" the man hissed, motioning to hit Io on the face but Misaki blocked him.

"What are you doing!" Misaki shouted at the man before looking at Io who hadn't calm down the least bit. "Io...what's going on?"

"Che...look who's here...not just because you won the Sonate...doesn't mean that your status has increased too...what's this protecting the person who used your voice this entire time...you gay people are funny..."

"Care to tell me what's so funny so I can laugh with you?"

The voice just camer out of nowhere. And it clearly sounded menacing. When the tv segment host turned to look at his back, he had to lift his gaze up for Usami Akihiko was a foot taller than him.

"Usami-san..." he stuttered. "I...look it's not like what you think it is. That kid provoked me and even poured coffee on me!"

Like an angered cat, Io's fighting instincs were screaming violently through his green eyes. As if his very stare could drill a messed up hole on that shiny, round face.

"Provoked you?" Usami muttered in a deep voice. His good mood had already disappeared into thin air hearing the man saying bad stuff to Misaki straight to the teen's face. "I am sure there are CCTVs here, we can check who provoked who...that is, if you want to continue your segmet at channel 14."

With a face as if he just got constipated, the segment host, the camera men with him and the lady walked out of the lounge with heated faces. In their business , it was easier to make enemies than friends.

The moment Io lost sight of the man, Io grabbed on to the chair he was sitting earlier for support. He was still breathing heavily like any moment he could cry blood. It wasn't an overstatement. Io's eyes were really red from stopping himself from crying in public. In return it made his eyes soon about to pop its veins out.

"Io...are you alright? You sit down..." Misaki muttered. "I'll go get some water for you...Usagi-san, look after him okay?"

Misaki ran somewhere to get some water while Io was left staring at Usami Akihiko's face who had taken a seat before him.

"What did that man tell you?" Usami asked in a calmer voice.

Io just stared hard at the lavender eyes staring at him. After a few moments, Io began to smile though his smile was anything but happy.

"I can't believe this. Your Misaki is fine leaving you with _me_ given my history?"

The older man rested his back against the soft back rest of the chair and his face had been more softer. "That's just how the way he is..."

Io somehow felt something he didn't want to acknowledge. And that was jealousy. The more he stared at Usami and think about Misaki, Io was pushed even more to see how pitiful he was at the moment.

"Yeah...I guess he is that kind of guy...after all I did he's ready to receive that guy's fist..."

"I don't know what happened back there, but pouring coffee over him was over board as well."

Io bit his bottom lip and looked at the flower vase in the middle of the table. Somehow, everything that looked pretty and happy before the teen's eyes seemed like these things were mocking him.

_"Did you try sleeping with the BlackMedley and got rejected terribly? I saw you in one of the bars downtown...you can't deny that..."_

_"What?"_

_"Isn't it how you got your previous manager to scout you and even find a shadow singer for you. I am even surprised the Blackmedley even allowed you to the audition..."_

That was when Io just snapped and his hand just flew to the cup of coffee and threw the contents towards the man before him.

"Now that I think about it," Io mumbled, his fingers fidgeting. "I haven't given you a proper apology for before."

"For before?"

"You know...me pretending..."

Usami sighed and looked at his side to watch for Misaki, but the teen wasn't there yet. He was really taking a long time to get water.

"I guess...I just got really happy with the attention," Io continued, his face all serious. "It was because that time, it felt like you really needed me you know..."

"Io..."

"Sorry for being dramatic...just there...I already apologized so..."

Usami smiled at the teen approvingly. "During the time that I didn't know you're just pretending, I did enjoy your company...you'll get past this stage. Just maintain that feisty spirit of yours."

Io had been staring intently at Usami than when he darted his eyes at the entrance of the lounge, he didn't know what kind of feeling to feel. Misaki was holding two bottles of water, chatting on the way with Ijuuin Kyo. And Ijuuin seemed to really look like he was enjoying himself.

For some strange reason, Io got confused whether to be happy or feel down that Misaki looked good together with someone else than Usami Akihiko. Or Ijuuin Kyo looked good with Misaki. Or because everyone seemed to like Misaki all together.

When Usami noticed the faint distress that flashed before Io's face, the composer turned his head towards the direction of Io's gaze and his smile disappeared.

"Ah-Usagi-san! I met Ijuuin-san on the way here..." Misaki started the moment they reached the table.

Usami's eyes didn't hide the look of not being the least happy of seeing the darkhaired man. "Ijuuin...what are you doing here?"

Ijuuin who for some reason had gathered his hair in a pony tail that day. Some of the black strands still covered the side of his face though since his hair was too smooth that even the hair band couldn't hold it all in. The man nodded with a smile at Usami and just threw a fleeting glance at the other teen looking like a wreck.

"What kind of question is that? I am working here for a project this season right?"

"Here...Io...drink this..."

With a scowl, Io accepted the bottle of water and sheepishly drank it. He couldn't almost contain the embarassment last night and the view of looking into such accomplished people while he was on the verge of falling from a cliff with no climbing back.

Usami looked at his wristwatch and pretended that he was surprised. "Ah, Misaki..." he muttered sounding a little stiff than usual. "It's almost time for our meeting upstairs...we better get going," the man announced standing from his seat.

Misaki looked at his own wristwatch and looked at Io and Ijuuin alternatingly. "Sorry, we have to go. It's nice to see you Ijuuin-san! Ah...Io...if you need someone to talk to...give me a call..."

"Why do I have to call _YOU_?"

Misaki looked at Io for a long time and smiled. "Then I'll call you. See you around..."

Usami just nodded at Io and made no pleasantries with Ijuuin anymore. Just seeing Ijuuin with Misaki made his blood heat up but he didn't want to stop Misaki from acting friendly with the man after all the things Ijuuin also had to endure for the teen. So off his patience was always being tested whenever Ijuuin was around.

* * *

Ijuuin watched the back of the pair disappear while still standing. And then he looked down at Io.

"Why aren't you still leaving?" Io scowled. Annoyed at the pair of eyes that were obviously scrutinizing whatever state his face was in. Io was only sure he didn't look good.

Rolling the sleeves of his white polo, Ijuun sat on the seat Usami was seating on earlier.

"I came here to talk to you."

Io almost threw out the water he had just drank. His eyes searching for any jesting from Ijuuin. "Talk to me? What business do you have with me?"

"I asked you to work for me didn't I?"

Io laughed. He sounded almost hysterical he had to clutch his stomach.

"What for? I couldn't sing. Didn't you send me home because of that? Besides...don't you have already your student for the New Year special? What is this all about now?"

Ijuuin raised a brow at the questions thrown one after another. He looked serious though despite the strange air around him. Io felt so much annoyed since he couldn't read Ijuuin.

"Yeah I have and I am training him. But that doesn't mean I can't get another to train. Of course training means working for me too."

"I am not interested," Io answered straight away.

The older man leaned on the table, moving his face closer to the teen that had his guards all on. "Are you giving up already? I thought more of you."

"Who says I am giving up?!" Io spat. "I will find a way. Not now but I will find it."

With a snort, Ijuuin leered at Io. "That way is ME."

"Huh?"

After a couple of staring contest, Ijuuin inserted his hand inside one of the pockets of his jeans and pulled out something. He slammed a white plastic card on the table and stood.

"That's the pass in our building. The guards won't ask you anything anymore and you can just straight away go to my studio. I'll be waiting for you tomorrow. And I hate people being late. _I_ can be late but not the _ones_ under me."

Io's vein in his mind popped in irritation and stood abruptly which left the table and the vase on it almost toppling down.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU SAYING? I DIDN'T AGREE TO ANYTHING!"

"I am not forcing you. I told you I'll be waiting in the studio."

"Then wait forever."

The older man took a step closer to confused Io and narrowed his eyes. "Listen up kid. At a time like this being alone is not an option."

Watching Ijuuin walk away, Io gritted his teeth before glaring at the white, plastic card.

* * *

Earlier that morning...

"Wow...I am surprised you're here early Ijuuin?" Fuji asked, settling the folders he had in hand on his neat table. For some reason the man liked to hang around his office even though Ijuuin have his own.

"I was waiting for a package..." Ijuuin answered, pushing the glasses properly at the bridge of his nose.

"What's that you're reading?" Fuji asked.

"The package I was waiting for..."

"Oh...What's it about?"

Ijuuin threw the folder on the table and yawned as if he just woke up.

"He's all perfectly healed up. What a nuissance."

"Healed?" Fuji asked as he started pulling on the venetian blinds of the window that let the misty glow of the winder morning go inside. "Who got sick?"

"It's psychological...that's the problem..." Ijuuin continued as he stood from his seat grabbing his long coat.

"You know...I really don't get a thing of what you're saying..."

"Ah you don't have to understand anything until I can haul him here," the black haired man started walking towards the door and and threw a final glance at his secretary. "I'll be out for the whole morning. I'm meeting someone."

"Haul who? Meeting? Your morning is all free today...did I forgot something?"

Ijuuin waived his hand in the air. "No...it's a surprise meeting."

* * *

thank you for your time reading!^^

-shuusetsu

* * *

minna-san! just want to tell you i posted smex scenes of the drama cds i got..so if ever you are interested... go here-=== mainichiyaoi . tum blr -dot- c o m /BL%20Drama%20Cds


	45. Savior

hello! been a while ne?!^^ thanks for the continuous support and the kind words.^^

* * *

**【【【****Savior】】】**

* * *

With nothing to do but to waste another cold, useless day, Io loitered around the Sonate Building. Of course, he asked for permission. Otherwise he'd be thrown out of the building even before he could stick his nose on the second floor.

He whistled while lowering his blue cap. Doing it made him appear like anybody's apprentice inside the building where the composers who were a member of the Sonate Organization train and teach their students. That was why, Io was being interested. Compared to the Zone building in which he once reigned, Sonate looked more sophisticated.

"Did you hear? Blackmedley and Usami Akihiko will be doing a collab?"

Io stepped a side a little to give way to the two guys walking in the hallways on the second floor. His eyes with curiosity, he then started following them.

"Oh, my sensei told me about it, but they said it's not yet official right?" the other shorter one replied, tugging his bag properly on his shoulders.

"Many composers are feeling bad about it you know? The new years special is where we can debut too, but with those two giant composers, not to mention, the Grand Winner of Sonate is there, all attention and anticipation is directed at them. My sensei said it feels like we're going to be a side show."

"Hmmm...it might be true, but I really don't care," the soft voice of the other one answered. "Let's just admit it, our senseis might be a little jealous of them. I heard the BlackMedley and Usami AKihiko are of the same age. They're the youngest members of the Sonate and yet they're the most received by the public and the most known too. Can't be helped."

"You're maybe right. We just have to work harder ne?"

The sneaking Io stopped on his tracks as he watched the two guys turn into another hallway. When he looked around him, he noticed that where he was, it was full of young people walking around. Chatting, showing each other their music sheets, practicing their vocals, listening to their own world with headphones or doing something in their laptops. That was just when he realized that it resembled a school. A place he hated.

Io gritted his teeth and walked in search of the elevator. He had to leave that kind of place right away. He felt like puking.

When he lost his voice and studied instruments to fill the hole inside him, it had been intense and hard and pressuring. All his teachers had this huge expectation from him. A concert pianist, a concert harpist, a concert violinist, a concert whatever the fuck instrument. He studied them because he didn't want to lose his link to music, and in the process traumatizing him with anything related to "school-like" places.

"So slow..." Io grunted as he continuously pressed on the down button of the elevator.

Eyes up the glinting numbers above his head, he looked at his side. When he did so, he noticed this map of the whole Sonate Building plastered on the wall beside the elevator.

"Music studios...cafeteria, offices..." he mumbled aloud. "Sonate Archive...Sonate Archive?"

He narrowed his eyes and raised his red wrist watch close to his face. "Hmm...well I've got nothing to do anyway..." after that he pressed for floor 21, where the Sonate Archive occupied the entire floor area.

* * *

It was eerily quiet. It was as if it was a different world up there. Hundreds of rows of shelves were lined up before him that it felt like it would devour him anytime soon. From the yellowish lights of the antique chandeliers up his head to the brown colors of the single tables scattered around unevenly, the Sonate Archive was as mysterious as any historical places he'd been. Suffice to say, it gave the feel of a sacred museum.

"Good Afternoon, may I help you?"

At the voice, Io turned to his back and realized that he must have looked so ignorant gaping at the entrance of the Sonate Archive. He walked towards the counter, his boots producing a rythmic sound that wasn't bad to the ears. He removed his cap and there was an obvious recognition to the girl on the counter wearing black coat.

"Just...want to look around,"Io answered, frowning at the girl. He didn't like the surprise on the girl's face like he had some disease.

The girl produced some numbered tag and let Io enter his name in the electronic logbook. Wanting to be away from the counter as soon as possible, the teen made hurried steps only to be called once more by the one in the counter.

"What?"

"Uhm...you're Io right?" the girl asked.

_Will she mock me too like those tv segment people?_ The teen crossed his arms on his chest. "What about it?"

Smiling a sweet and real smile, the girl bowed at Io and clasped the boy's hands which caught the latter by surprise. "I'm sorry...I just have to do this. I've been following you ever since...so..."

"Huh?" more than anything else, Io thought that the guy in the coffee shop with his picture in the murals he met was weird. But he never expected to meet another being as weird as the man.

"I...I know this is strange, but I've come to like you even more when you admitted who you really are..." the girl seemed really nervous that she was about to cry. She released her grip on Io's soft hands. She even found it a little embarassing that a guy's hand felt softer than hers. "So I just want to let you know that there are many of us...who're waiting for your comeback. Ganbatte Kudasai..."

Like a scurrying squirrel, the girl dashed away from Io, her brown her swaying behind her.

As Io watched the girl's back get farther away from him, his green eyes were fixed at the girl's head. It took a couple of seconds to finally register to Io what he was feeling. And there he felt his chest tighten and his mouth somehow dry and trembling at the same time.

"Waiting?" he whispered. "Goodluck..." Io did dance and faked singing before, he really didn't even expect that he would earn real followers. But while looking at the girl, realizing that there were really indeed people waiting for him despite what he's done, Io felt something he seldom get to feel. And that was gratitude.

He didn't want to admit it but the reality that when one was at the bottom, he gets to experience the real treasures behind the glittery and the sparkling life of being famous. And that was being loved and respected for what he could offer.

_"If...if...Takahashi was the one here...what would he do?_" Io thought suddenly confused. He wasn't the type to thank people for he was used to having his way at his beck and call. But he felt he had to do something. Or change something, even for a little.

"Wait!" Io shouted.

The girl turned slowly at him with a curious look. The other girls on the counter raised their gazes at Io, feeling somehow intimidated.

"Uhm..." stuttering which was so not like him, Io looked away mumbling in his voice as soft as ever, the very rare occasions he ever said this word. "Th-Thank you..."

The glow on the girl's face and the smile the other ones gave Io was enough to send Io walking fast behind the shelves to hide himself. His chest was beating widely.

_"How...how can saying thank you feel so strange like that?!"_

In this world where harsh things were rampant, the most difficult words to say were the ones that really had meaning in it. Like 'I love you', 'sorry', 'miss you' and 'thank you'. These words could be very difficult to say but once said, can move mountains and go a long way. And to Io's part, his selfish heart had just opened up to something even if it was just small.

Finally sure that he had hid himself from the very farthest side of the Sonate Archive, Io finally get to focus on the endless binders and books neatly arranged before him. The history of Sonate, the founders, the old rules. He wasn't really all that interested, but then while tracing his index finger againsts the reading materials as he walked, he caught a name.

He stopped on his tracks and read the name aloud. "Usami Akihiko..."

Curiosity hiking up, the teen hurriedly took the binder and flipped through the pages fast. There was no picture in it. Just pure information about the man. How his early life had been, before he became a Sonate Member and before he became popular. It was sort of an autobiography. And just when he was about to bring the binder to the nearest table with the lampshades on, another binder fell from the shelf.

He wasn't planning on picking it up and putting it back but it fell on his way so he looked at it. "BlackMedley..."

Frowning, Io picked it up like it was some trash and ended up carrying Ijuuin Kyo's binder with him.

Io kept on flipping through Usami Akihiko's profile, but strangely not a single word was registering in his brain. He always found himself stealing a glance at the other binder sitting innocently on the table before him.

Finally giving up, Io pushed Usami's binder on the table and slowly took the other one.

"The BlackMedley before and present..." with a deep frown on his fine brows, Io started flipping through the crisp yellow paper. He didn't want to admit but he was curious about him. It was all because the man had been pissing him off for the past days. _What was so good about this one anyway?!_

"BlackMedley and Usami Akihiko joined the Sonate Music Competition at the same time eight years ago. The fight had been very close and it ended up as a draw. Since then, the unannounced rivalry had become more obvious given that these two young men also went to the same school."

"Uwah...draw? I can't believe it...Akihito-san and that jerk?" Io flipped more, unconsciously being sucked by the history of the life of the man.

"From a family of concert pianists, it was only the BlackMedley who went into the path of composing which naturally made his whole family oppose to it. But he decided to leave the shadows of his family and come to make a light of his own. His music tend to deal with the feeling of depression and sadness and emptiness. There was one closed interview that the man said, 'The bottom is always the most beautiful part. That's where reality lies.'

This earned many critics saying that was the composer implying that everything on the surface was nothing but pretense and lies? But in compilation of this book did we came to light why the BlackMedley said that.

"He's a gloomy guy and a weird person alright..."

"During the summer of his eighteenth year, the BlackMedley met an accident. He was hospitalized in America for three months and even up to this day, he goes back to the hospital over there to get his regular checkups. He had experienced complete loss of control in his right hand. And thought that he will never be able to lift a pen or even press a key on the piano.

He said, "That was probably the time I realized how to have a nightmare while my eyes are open. How to see a dream end without it even starting. It really sucks and I became the most lanky person there is..." he said with a laugh.

Intensive operations had been done but in the end, the experts declared that the BlackMedley's control over his hand will never be the same as it used to be. But he continued and persevered despite telling him that he was at a dead end.

Until now, he says that using his hand for a long period of time makes it shake uncontrollably. And when that happens, he just take a rest and let it calm. Only to work again after a couple of seconds.

When I interviewed the BlackMedley, the Sonate Competition has just ended. He was all sweaty in a black tuxedo, young and full of energy. It was too early to be asking him but I asked him anyway. I asked him what legacy would he be able to contribute in this world and he just grinned at me and I don't know but he looked so shy at that time it was hard to believe that this very same man was one of the most successful composers of this day.

'I guess...physical hindrance isn't hindrance at all? If I didn't get into that accident, I wouldn't know that feeling lonely and empty could be a source of inspiration to go up. Besides, they kept on telling me I wouldn't be able to use my hand, but see, I can, though it gets tired easily the important thing is_ I can_."

Io stared at it for a long while sighing. "Who's this cheerful person? I don't know this."

Tired suddenly from reading which he hadn't done in a long while, Io rested his head on the cold, smooth surface of the table. His cheek feeling the hardness and his nose, smelling the faint scent of acetone and barnish. Without him knowing, he had raised his left hand on his throat, touching it with the tips of his fingers.

His fingers gently caressing his throat went down to his pocket. The plastic card which was the pass for Ijuuin's building somehow glowed with the lights coming from the lamp beside him.

"You make it sound so easy...Jerk."

* * *

It took him his entire day reading inside the Archive. He missed his lunch and snacks and when he left the Sonate building his grumpier than usual, mainly because he was hungry.

"What the...it's getting colder..." Io mumbled, his mouth sending off a misty puff of smoke.

He could always drive with his car around Tokyo, but for some reason, whenever he was in the city, he preferred walking. He liked walking despite the freezing cold. For in walking, one could see all the angles of life. He might look and act cold, but Io enjoyed the feeling of just walking on his own in silence whatever the season was.

"The sun is about to set too...I guess I'll go back to my apartment..." he exhaled and wrapped the white scarf around his neck and stuck his hands inside his brown coat.

He took his steps slowly, inhaling and exhaling slowly. He couldn't somehow remove his thoughts from what he saw and read that day. He noticed that most of the Sonate Grand winners had all sorts of problems before being able to come to top. But out of all them, it was only Ijuuin Kyo who had to almost give up because of his hands. Thinking that way, Io thought that probably the reason why the man was so insistent was because he was feeling sorry about him.

_"That's stupid...he doesn't know anything about me..._" he scowled and turned to the left street to drop by to some family restaurant. Readying his wallet inside his jeans pocket, he felt again the cold plastic card inside. _"I...what am I going to do with this thing...so trouble some..."_

He continued walking past the couples walking hand in hand. He moved forward without paying attention to the kids running and kidding around. After staring at the sidewalk, Io stopped and turned to his right.

"A new CD shop..."

"Uwah! Hi Sir! We're just new here so we're giving 30% off with all the merchandise! Please come in! Please come in!"

Lowering his head, hiding his face behind his cap, Io stepped in into the warmth the shop was offering.

The shop wasn't modern looking. It gave the approach of the calm and country side music. When Io stood from the wooden racks, Io realized that was being sold were not new musics and plaques and CDs but the ones from a long time ago. The surprised must have showed a lot on his face that the shop attendant approached him.

"Our shop...is like a second hand shop of CDs and music stuff not being used anymore. We really believe that these may all be trash to someone, but to others, they may found treasures in here," the tall man with eyeglasses smiled at Io. "Please look around. You might find something interesting."

Not answering back, the teen kept his eyes at the worn out CD cases before him. At the farthest corner of the rack was a CD with black covering. After pulling it out, he turned it upside down and almost squealed. He dashed to the counter and huffing, he called for the shop attendant's attention.

"This...this...isn't this the limited version of the Sonate where Usami AKihiko won? These are the first compilation of his initial works! I have a copy of this at home but it got broken!"

The man took the CD out of Io's hands and examined it. "Yeah I remember this. This has been released eight years ago. But you know...there's a secret in this release."

Io was too busy ramaging his pockets for his money that he didn't quiet get what the man said. "How much is it? I'll pay whatever the amount it is!"

"I can see you're really musically inclined..."

"Well...I was young back then and I hated everything about music...but listening to it..." Io gasped._ What the fuck I am telling some stranger?_ "Anyway, how much is it?"

"Let's see...the last track of this compilation is the one that had me starting this business you know..." the guy smiled.

"The last track?" Io asked. He wouldn't say it but the last track was his favorite among the rest.

It was titled "Dying Star". It's been two since he lost his voice back then and was acting like the world has ended. His grandfather bought that CD. After listening while crying to that last track, he decided to study music instruments even though he could not sing. For he realized that he wouldn't just do without music.

Music has become a part of his being that it was similar to breathing.

"The last track was sad and depressing isn't it?" the guy asked Io with a glow of someone reminiscing. "But somehow, it's the kind of pain that feels beautiful..."

"That's why I really like Usami Akihiko..." Io mumbled.

The guy sighed and ran the CD on the tag scanner. "It's a really huge mistake you see?"

"Huh?"

"The reason that this CD has become a collector's item was because the printing company made a huge mistake on the first 100 Cds that was released. The last track, Dying Star was named under Usami AKihiko but they cleared that it was the other winner's composition that time. It was a draw right? I don't know if you know...but it was Ijuuin Kyo's song. He doesn't use that name though...it's BlackMedley he started using like he doesn't want people to know the real him."

"It's not Usami Akihiko's?" Io asked, dropping his wallet on the counter.

"It made a huge fuss before, but I guess you're still young that time to understand that...but yeah, there are 12 tracks here, the last 6 were the BlackMedleys'..."

* * *

_"Come on now Ishi-chan...you've been playing that for the last three hours..."_

_"No...just one more Ojii-chan..."_

The teen in a daze, Io walked through the cold night with his purchase in one hand. "You've got to be kidding me...what's this freaking revelation..." Io sniffed the cold air and in turn sneezed. "I practically worshipped that Dying Star when I was young...so when I learned that Usami Akihiko would be composing for me in ZONE I was so happy because I've been waiting for that...what the fuck..."

Gripping the white plastic card in his other hand, Io frowned while gritting his teeth. He wasn't feeling cold anymore. More than anything else...his chest was aching. His real savior was trying to save him one more time. And he'd been thoroughly rejecting it.

"What should I do?" Io asked outloud. His pride stopping him, Io drew a deep breath. "Tsk...I'll...I'll..."

"Look do we have here?"

Io didn't thought it was him being talked about so he continued walking. However, he almost fell on the ground when someone grabbed his scarf, almost choking him before releasing him on the streets.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Io shouted, his cap almost falling off.

The face that leered down on him was somewhat familiar. Tall, blue eyes, lean physique and somehow handsome.

"You..."

"Aww...finally remembered your exboyfriend?"

Because of the cold, there was no many people on the streets. That time it was only Io and that blonde and some people from afar. Standing grumpily while tugging his coat straight, Io glared at the guy.

"So you became a fallen star now...how pitiful..." long fingers reached for Io's chin. In an instant they were face to face, eye to eye, breath to breath. "Maybe we should get back together now? Both fallen stars, maybe we can ignite some spark?"

Slapping the hand away, Io stepped back. "How pathetic. Go away!" in the process, his hand holding the plastic card lost its grip and off the card went flying off towards his exboyfriend's feet.

"Feisty as a cat as always huh?" the taller guy said looking at the white card before him. He bended to pick it up.

"Give that back!" Io shouted.

The taller guy in a blue long coat waived the card before his face like fanning himself. "Whoa, never seen that look on your face for a while Io...is this thing that really important?"

The cap falling from his head, Io didn't care anymore. He reached for his card that was raised above his head. He jumped and tried to reach it but his exboyfriend was way taller than him.

"Don't fucking mess with me asshole! GIVE IT BACK!"

"As dirty mouthed as always I see...okay here," the guy extended the card before Io. When Io was about to grab it off from the other's hand, the taller boy broke it into two and tossed it before Io's face. "There's your card."

Io wasn't able to say anything as he watched his pass fall silently before him. They were completely broken into two no matter how he looked at it.

"Oh my god...Io you're actually crying over such a plastic card? I don't believe this..."

The brunette was pissed as hell that he walked forward and hit his exboyfriend in between his legs with all his strenght before running away.

"D-amn you Io..owww..." the guy grunted as he kneeled on the ground, holding on to his jewels that just got crushed.

* * *

"That freaking asshole...I can't believe this..."

When Io looked up, he found another thing he couldn't believe in. After all the endless running he did and the endless walking and cursing after meeting his exboyfriend by chance, there he was, standing before the building that housed the BlackMedley's studio.

"How...how did I end up here..." he mumbled, looking at the eight floor of the building. Its light were open and the building was glowing with near Christmas decorations and glittering and blinking lights.

Snow started falling down softly from the night sky down to the chilly city below. It gently landed on Io's cheeks that melted right away, giving the impression that the young man was crying.

"What the hell am I here for?" he angrily hissed, burrying his face on his freezing hands. "It's as if I am...I am really wanting to come here...what the hell..."

"Brat?"

"Who are you calli-"

There they were, the two of them under the soft falling of the snow standing before each other. Io's face wet from the snow and some other things, and Ijuuin Kyo, carrying a plastic of steaming hot ramen from some ramen shop down the streets.

When Io dared stare at the deep, dark eyes which reflected the colorful lights in their surrounding, Io was somehow afraid.

"It's tomorrow, not tonight, what are you that excited to work for me?"

"Who's excited?! I'M...I'M OUTTA HERE!"

_Shit...I could never come back here...I could never even if I wanted..._

Ijuuin took huge steps and grabbed Io's collar from behind, making Io like a kitten grabbed from its neck. He angrily turned his head towards Ijuuin's face. "Don't treat me like an animal! Let..let go!"

But Ijuuin just tightened his grip on Io's collar and dragged the protesting teen towards the building entrance.

"I'm bringing this stray with me," Ijuuin announced to the guard that stood abruptly at the sight of Io thrashing just to be released. He thought that Io was some thief that got caught by this Ijuuin. He didn't know much about the owner of the eight floor but he had seen the man get angry and he could swear he saw a demon.

At the empty lounge area of the building, Ijuuin dragged Io without saying anything. Once they were both seated, with him almost tying Io on the metal chair, Ijuuin took out his steamy food and placed it on the table. Pushing the other cup of the hot noodles before Io.

"I don't want it, why did you have to bring me here?!" Io shouted. The empty lounge just echoed the angry voice.

"I could ask you the same question. Why were you staring at the eight floor?" Ijuuin asked, snapping his chopsticks into two.

Io fell silent and turned away. "Why, can't I walk around this area? Is this yours!?"

"Something happened...what is it?"

The teen slammed his fist on the table. "Nothing!"

"The white card, where is it?" Ijuuin asked without removing his gaze from Io.

"Heh, I threw it away. What's that got to do with me?!"

"I see..." the older man, with his hair wet due to his stroll outside muttered with a bored face.

After a couple of minutes Io watching Ijuuin eat, Ijuuin stood abruptly and walked towards Io.

"Wha-what?"

Like someone looking for a fight, Ijuuin grabbed Io's collar and pulled the teen a little closer to him. Narrowing his eyes, he stared at the shocked green ones that went immobile. And out of nowhere, smiled.

Not letting go of Io, Ijuuin took something out of his pocket and and inserted it in Io's breast pocket. "That is my personal pass. I can pass by the building entrance but not in the eight floor."

Io frowned, unable to get where Ijuuin was going. "What the heck are you..."

"I go here at seven in the morning..."

"Huh?!"

Ijuuin leaned closer, Io could almost smell the aftertaste of the spicy ramen the older man just had. "You better be here at seven or I won't be able to get in, understood?"

"Wa-wai..."

Patting Io's head once, Ijuuin turned on his heels and started walking away. "I hate late people...Shizuku Ishi..."

The teen stood from his seat, his scarf falling down the floor, his face in disbelief.

"See you tomorrow," Ijuuin added, waiving his hand in the air without looking at Io.

Slowly, the brunete pulled the small plastic card in his breast pocket and stared at it. "This has his name on it..."

Frowning and stomping his way out of the lounge, Io found himself a reasonale alliby. At least for him.

"It can't be help, can it?! That idiot won't be able to get in his own studio without me!" he grumbled. "Seven was it? Then...then...I need to sleep early..."

Walking under the soft and gentle falling of the snow, with his boots clicking againts the wet ground, suddenly Io thought that his surroundings had been a little brighter than it was before.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

i am just happy today^^ thanks for the time^^

-shuusetsu ﾟ･*:.｡


	46. Caution

wahaha...i've been busy gomenasai...^^

* * *

**【【【****Caution】】】**

* * *

It rarely snowed in Tokyo. Perhaps it was because of the global warming or other nature factors. That was why when Io opened his still sleepy eyes and noticed the glowing small cotton-candy like puffs, lazily falling from the sky through his window, the teen felt a little depressed. Just a little. For he knew even before he could touch and feel the softness, the snow would turn into a drop of cold water.

"What time is it..."

Buried under the thick blankets, Io rolled to his side and stared unfocusedly at the green alarm clock on his side table. The faint ticking it made was a hypnotism that could urge anyone to take another round of sleep.

"Five..." he grunted and pulled the layers of blankets above his head. "Fifteen minutes more..." he mumbled.

The calm from an early morning, the quietness of his apartment where he lived alone and the ticking of the clock was brewing a disaster. As Io, with his hair all messy from his tossing started drifting back to his sleep, he wasn't sure if he heard something or if it was just his imagination.

_"You better be here at seven or I won't be able to get in, understood?"_

"Hmmh...So what?" Io replied grumpily.

_"I hate late people...Shizuku Ishi..."_

Thirty seconds passed, and the relaxed forehead of the teen started crumpling into a deep frown. Deeper and deeper as the now irritating ticking of the clock became louder.

"Damn it..." his eyes still closed, Io started worming his way out of his blankets like a caterpillar would. "I want to sleep some more..."

The teen whined from getting up, to the shower to eating breakfast. He whined from choosing what to wear and whined from the curl on his usual straight hair that wouldn't go down. But he fell silent when he was about to grab Ijuun Kyo's pass off his side table.

"Work...what kind of work would I be doing for him anyway..." he scowled before brushing his hair for the last time with his fingers. "It's irritating, I couldn't read him."

He locked his apartment door with a slam. He did wonder what was instore for him. But more than that, he grudgingly had to admit that going to somewhere after not doing something for a very long time was an event he was looking forward to. Even though it was an event sewn by someone suspicious, Io in his cores felt once more the thrill of not knowing what was about to happen.

* * *

The sound of a pan with sizzling frying oil filled his ears. Waking up in a cold morning and realizing that his pillow wasn't there, Usami Akihiko instantly knew where Misaki would be. In the kitchen.

"Ah, ohayo!" Misaki greeted with spatula in one hand. "Eggs will be done in a minute..."

Hiding his yawn with his hand, Usami walked to the kitchen counter and rested his back againts the wall, watching Misaki work his magic in the once lifeless area of his flat. Well, the entire area was lifeless to begin with before Misaki started living with him.

"You should have waken me up the same time as you..." Usami started, his voice still hoarse from a deep sleep.

Tossing some vegetables onto the pan, Misaki turned his head slightly towards his lover with a frown. "You'll just get in the way Usagi-san..."

Misaki announced it without care. For living with the man made him realize that aside from composing, Usami Akihiko was nothing in terms of household chores. If not for his right-hand man, Usami must have died from malnutrition along time ago.

Usami didn't say anything and just absorbed the small back of his lover make his way around the kitchen. It was one of those moments he could call priceless. And then the trance was broken by a shril ringing of the phone in the living room.

"Usagi-san!" Misaki shouted, unable to take anymore the continious ringing of the phone. "Stop staring at me and please answer the phone!"

Passing Misaki, the man brushed his cold, huge hand on top of Misaki's head briefly. "Aren't you the perfect wife..." the man muttered in a low voice.

"What the hell..." Misaki glared at the broad back that disappeared from the kitchen to the living room. Still scandalized at the term 'wife', Misaki began preparing the food. However he started taking curious steps towards the door hearing the impatient voice of Usami talking to whoever it was on the phone.

"I have a meeting with that Ijuuin today. I can't go," Usami answered a little heatedly.

Misaki blinked a couple of times at the obvious irritation on the profile of his lover.

"Old man, you being the president of Sonate doesn't make me your slave...WHAT? Tell Misaki to go to Ijuuin alone? Like hell that will happen!"

After a couple of minutes of silence on Usami's part, he slammed the phone down and grunted. "That old man..."

Seeing Usami grumpy, Misaki walked closer to the tall man and tugged on the man's shirt.

"What's that all about?"

Usami stared for a while at Misaki before walking towards the table. As much as possible he didn't want to concern Misaki with it. But once the teen started questioning him, he wouldn't like to lie at Misaki's face.

"The President was asking me to go with him to a meeting for an international sponsor for the new year's special," he answered frowning.

Misaki started setting up the plates with an understanding look. "Isn't that great? It's a proof you're being trusted..."

"Have you forgotten that we set up a meeting with that Ijuuin and the guy that would sing with you? Plus the intro's that I've made, we're supposed to discuss it today."

The clanking of the utensils filled the gap of silence between them. And as if Misaki just snapped, he glaringly sat on his seat across Usami.

"Usagi-san...what's this 'that Ijuuin', 'that Ijuuin'...that's rude you know!"

"Oi...aren't you so friendly with tha-" Usagi stopped halfway at the deep frown that flashed on Misaki's brows. Exhaling and surrending, he knew he couldn't win against Misaki anyway, he sighed, "Fine...I'll stop with 'that Ijuuin'. But like I told the old man, I'm not going."

"Why not? I could just go in his studio and tell him the things you made up for the intro..." Misaki continued while stabbing his octopi. "I was listening to you when you were making it last night. I remember everything well!" Misaki said happily.

"Why would I have to go allowing you to that man's place? No can do," Usami answered, drinking his coffee.

"Usagi-san...you don't trust me?" lately Misaki had learned the magic of looking sad and pleading at Usami.

Caught off guard, Usami looked deep into the green eyes looking at him and sighed. "Tell me the reason why you seem to be so excited seeing Ijuuin, Misaki."

Misaki smiled innocently. "Eh...it's true I'd like to see Ijuuin-san. But I'd like to see the other friends I made while I was there. The guard, Fuji-san, the lady in the HR department...and I just want to check on someone..."

His elbows on the table, Usami rested his chin on both his hands. "Someone?"

"I don't know...but I am sure he'd be there..." Misaki replied, looking out the window, towards the sky reminiscing something. "I'm sure Ijuuin-san wouldn't let go of him, the way he didn't let go of me despite the many issues I had back then."

* * *

People couldn't help but turn their heads at the running teen who was about to topple down on the side walk. With Io's loud steps, his hair flying as he dashed his way towards the building, people could only gape in surprise why a tv personality, fallen or not would dash out in the open just like that.

It wasn't sunny that morning, it could even be called a gloomy day as the grayish clouds dominated the sky. And despite the cold, Io was sweating a lot that he chose to just remove his coat and run with his rather thin, white shirt. He had calculated his train ride time and his walk from the station to Ijuuin's studio, but not considering the possible maintainance or trouble the train migh encounter a long the way.

And now, Io was a running and panting mess, trying to reach the building with only four minutes to spare.

"Shit...why am I going so far as to run like this...?!" he asked over and over but he kept running anyway.

Raising his gaze, the highrise building was already in view. It stood like a gray pencil. It was the first time Io realized that the buiding was somehow spherical. "Just a little more...agh damn it..."

Finally, he was in front of the entrance. Huffing and sending puff of his misty breath all around, he whirled. He was looking for any sign of Ijuuin Kyo. It was already seven, Io barely making it on time. But as empty and gloomy as the sky above his head, the area where Io was looked dead and deserted.

"W-here..." Io gulped and wiped the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand. "...is that-jer..."

The teen got extremely pissed at waiting at the front of the building alone. It was still early considering that business hours started at nine. So when his tiredness from running faded, he started feeling the chilly breeze to his bones.

"Did...did he trick me?!" Io hissed as he threw a final glance at the empty roads.

Wrapping himself with his coat, feeling mad about feeling abandoned and mocked, Io sat on where he was standing not caring if he looked pitiful. He was really at this point fed up with being played with. Those tv segment people making his hopes up, and this bastard named Ijuuin Kyo.

"I look like a idiot..." Io grumbled, glaring at the pavement. If his glares could drill a hole, he had already sunken the entire building. "Here I was...Tsk."

There were many types of people in the world. The happy ones, the good ones, and those who seem to be always angry to name a few. Io unfortunately belonged to the angry type. The norm was to conclude angry people were ungrateful and illmannered. Not even the happy ones and the good ones had given the time to think that the angry type of people were like that because they were more sensitive than the rest.

Sniffing from the cold and the onset of something, Io glared harder on the pavement. He was thinking he should just go and break that Ijuuin's pass and stick it on the glass entrance of the building. But somehow he still wanted to wait.

The brunette was about to go into his own world when he felt a slight movement against his wet shoe. He was planning to ignore it but the movement became obviously a light kick. When he raised his annoyed face, he only saw a black silhoutte. The man was blocking the slight sunlight that it was hard to see.

"What are you doing? Could you possibly wait in a fitting manner? You look like you have been abandoned."

As Io narrowed his eyes, his irises adjusted and recognized the figure, and the voice and the haughty stance straight away. "Why do you have to kick me?!" Io spat standing up.

"Is that even called kicking?" Ijuuin smiled. For some reason, his smile just made Io more irritated. "I was just checking if you were still alive."

"I've waited for you for thirty minutes! What's this 'I go to the studio at seven' you asshole!"

The smile on Ijuuin's face disappeared. It was as if how the sun just suddenly hid itself behind the thick clouds. It didn't help that Ijuuin was wearing all black that day. The sudden menacing aura around him just got more intense.

"Listen up, kid. As long as you are working for me, I don't tolerate filthy words. Specially directed at me. 'Asshole, fuck, bastard, jerks,' are not allowed. I can say them. But YOU can't," Ijuuin's eyes were dead serious that Io was left for no words. "Are we clear on that?"

Io opened his mouth only to close them again. It was the first time in a long while that Io did actualy feel intimidated. Usually he did the intimidating so experiencing it was a shock. He just stared at the dark eyes that were as if reading right through him.

"Then, shall we get going?" Ijuun asked suddenly smiling as if nothing happened.

"Are-are we going to keep doing this?" Io asked mustering his strenght to maintain a poker face.

"Of course..." the man answered looking happy. "If we don't you will not show up, correct?"

"...!"

"Anyway," Ijuuin continued walking past the teen. "...let's get going. You're lips are starting to lose color."

Io stared at the broad back ahead of him. "I don't want to wait again for thirty minutes! What if you died on the road! Does that mean I'd have to wait for you?!" Io shouted, following the older man towards the steps that leads to the main entrance.

The teen was grumbling as he focused his eyes on the floor that was why he slammed at Ijuuin's back when the man stopped walking. Massaging his nose, Io frowned. "Don't just suddenly stop like that will you?"

"Do you have a cellphone?" Ijuuin asked without turning at Io.

"Wah-what do you take me for? Of course I do!" Io replied.

"Where?"

"Where?" Io repeated, but his hand had already fished it out of his pocket unconsiously.

Still the unreadable, sinister man that he was, Ijuuin faced Io abruptly, grabbing the teen's phone off of his hand.

"Hey! What are you doing-"

With a blank face, Ijuuin dialled a number into Io's phone and not long after, another phone rang. It was Ijuuin's. Tossing the android phone back on Io's hand, Ijuuin smiled like he did just something worthy of praise.

"There, you have my number and I have yours. I'll message you if I will be running late. Happy?"

Green eyes were left staring at the call history of his phone. There was Ijuuin's number glaring at him. "Why should I be happy having your number..." Io grumbled while the two of them were in the elevator. Ijuuin however didn't make any other remarks and just watched the numbers representing the floors they were at blink.

* * *

Io looked around him. No matter where he looked, everything was of metallic color that despite the warmth the heater was giving, Ijuuin's office still felt cold.

It must have been two hours that already passed. Io was just sitting on the sofa, watching Ijuuin browse through piles and piles of folders before him. When Fuji saw him, the secretary just smiled as if he didn't care whether who the composer brought with him. And by the minute, Io grew more restless. Was he going to stare at Ijuuin for the whole day? And there he was being excited about nothing.

"Na...what should I do? I am not the least bit happy just watching you, you know?" Io cut in, standing before Ijuuin's messy table.

Being completely absorbed at what he was reading, Ijuuin finally paid attention to the buzzing he was hearing before him and looked at Io behind his glasses. "Oh...Io."

Veins popping inside the teen's head, he slammed his fists on the table which sent some papers on the floor to fall silently. "Don't 'Oh Io' me! You said I'd be working! Then what should I do!?"

The older man closed his eyes as if thinking deeply. Io even thought that perhaps, that was it. However what he heard next just made him even more pissed.

"Buy me coffee?"

"HAH?!"

"Buy me coffee. There's a good coffee shop just around the corner," Ijuuin answered, going back to his files.

"Excuse me...but I happen to not be your errand boy, Mister Ijuuin Kyo. If this is how it's going to be then fuck your studio and your job! I am out of here!"

Storming out of the room, Io had to stop once more and throw a shocked face at Ijuuin.

"Does a student question what the teacher has to teach?" Ijuuin asked, removing his eyeglasses.

Io looked at Ijuuin then at the painting behind the man. He wanted to shout something but Io knew that by doing so, he was just exposing his confused and hopeful self. The silence just went on and on. Didn't he already admitted grumpily that he was looking forward to it? But then Ijuuin was making him not do anything and ordering him silly things. He really didn't know what he was supposed to do.

"Io, listen," Ijuuin placed the folder he was holding down and stretched out on his swivel chair. "Did you think I was just playing around by asking you to work for me? Do you really think I am that free to even bother if I don't recognize what you can do?"

Frozen on his spot, Io pursed his lips.

"If I need an errand boy, I would hire an errand boy. The reason you're here is because you have something you can only do. But we cannot pull it out just that easily, can we? It takes time."

For a moment, Io's face softened. The look on Ijuuin's seemed genuine. And what Ijuuin said, though Io didn't want to admit, had sense in it.

"A thing only I can do?" Io mumbled. "Doesn't it sound like from a cheesy drama with a failed attempt of cheering up a depressed character?"

Ijuuin suddenly burst out laughing. And Io was left just staring at the darkhaired man. Perhaps Ijuuin Kyo had some lose screws in his head. The teen couldn't help but step backwards when the older man stood from his seat and right away walked towards where he was standing.

"Io," Ijuuin started looking suddenly all serious.

"Wh-what?" Io asked, trapped against the door frame.

"That's a great start," the man muttered, suddenly messing Io's hair that was already messed up from all the runnng he did earlier. "You're doing just fine."

"I-I don't get you!"

Ijuuin looked towards his messy table, averting his eyes at the totally lost teen before him. "I myself believe that there's nothing that only one person can do. Everyone can do everything. Everyone can sing, everyone can write, everyone can do the same things. It's a matter of the degree of the effort and the quality of the result. Now why you're here is to polish what you can do. Do you get my point?"

The older man placed his hand on top of Io's shoulders, assuring Io of whatever he had in his mind.

"Just, trust me."

Io found himself sucked into the dark eyes. He wanted to see more than what his eyes could see but he couldn't get through.

"Can you just trust me?"

There wasn't even someone who took the time saying stuff to him as 'trust me'. Those words were a disaster for the one that will be betrayed so he didn't like placing his trust to anybody else and also making people trust him. It's just a meddlesome thing to do.

But not being able to dismiss that it was Ijuuin he was admiring all that time, Io had to weigh things more. The more he looked at Ijuuin and the creepy smile on the man's face like he was up to something, the more Io couldn't believe it. One couldn't just accept something like that easily when you've been believing at something and was told that you're wrong. It wasn't that easy.

The only thing Io could think of doing now was just as uncertain as how he should view Ijuuin Kyo at that point.

"M-maybe..." Io replied obviously not sure.

A light pat on the head was what Io received from Ijuuin. "That'll do I guess...Can you buy me coffee now? Buy yourself one too."

Before Io could even react, Ijuuin have already shoved into the teen's hands his brown, fat, leather wallet. Exasperated, Io looked at the wallet first and at Ijuuin who went back to his table once more to go through his files.

_What the hell, so in the end his coffee is more important? So much for all the cheesy stuff he's been spouting..._

With heavy steps, Io turned around, swearing he'd buy the most expensive one to get back at the jerk bossing him around.

Io was finally about to shut the door close when his useless 'boss' called out to him once more.

"WHAT YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING ELSE?!" Io spat, slamming the door open once more.

Without even lifting his gaze at the fuming brunette on his doorway, Ijuuin continued flipping on his folders.

"Be careful. Look at your left and right when you're crossing the streets."

For a moment, Io just looked at Ijuuin completely absorbed once more to whatever he was doing. His vision went directly at the right hand Ijuuin was using to take down notes while flipping through pages through pages.

_The accident...was it during him crossing the streets?_ Io wondered, still watching the man. Sighing, Io slowly closed the door he was once planning to slam earlier.

"I will..."

* * *

It didn't take long for Io to find that coffee shop Ijuuin Kyo was talking about. About three blocks from Ijuuin's building stood the weird coffee shop that Io had visited before. Still, it looked like everything in it was not in balance. The design was like a place that got sucked by a worm hole. It was dizzying. It was as weird as the coffee shop owner.

"Io-kun...how nice to see you in here once again!" the coffee shop owner greeted.

The teen just continued to the counter to order whatever.

"I've been always in tune with the tv to check your progress you know! How is it going?"

Frowning, Io started peeking into Ijuuin's wallet. _"Don't talk to me like we've known each other since forever..."_

Being an understanding man, the owner just smiled and put on his work vibe. "Then, what I can get for you?"

"Hmmm..." raising his gaze at the board where colorful chalks had been used to write the menu, the teen narrowed his eyes in search for the most expensive one. "Dark Mist with lots of coffee sprinkles on top."

"Good choice, Monsieur. Just a moment..."

The sound of the blending machine, its slow humming somehow was calming that Io got surprised that the optical illusion wasn't as head aching as it was before. He roamed his eyes at the small shop and caught once more the murals where his photo was still stuck. Feeling embarassed, Io just focused on getting wads of money from the wallet so he could go back right away.

"815 yen, right?" the brunette confirmed, looking into the wallet. "Let's see..."

Throbbing. Violent thumping. And breath caught in his throat. For a while, Io just stared at it. His fingers a little trembling he continued looking at that one paper bill he had pulled out from the composer's wallet.

"No way..."

The owner had to stop from whatever he was doing to check on his early customer. The brunette behind the front of his counter had obviosly lost his color.

"Are you okay?"

"Huh?" fumbling clumsily into the wallet, the teen just took another paperbill, inserting the first one he took back in it. "No-nothing."

He walked slowly under the soft falling of the snow, his hair getting drenched. Holding the hot cup of coffee in both of his hands, he made sure that it won't go cold right away. From afar, Io could practically see someone so familiar get out of an expensive car. Overly dressed, the jerk who always managed to piss Io during the audition under Ijuuin walked confidently into the building entrance.

"Minase..." Io mumbled, feeling irritable. "So he got chosen, huh?"

He continued making his way back into Ijuuin's office. Silently, Io pushed open the door and entered.

"Huh? Yes, I know. No I would be busy with my session with Minase later."

Without removing his gaze at the composer who was currently talking on the phone, Io placed the coffee on what little space he could see from the messy table. Ijuuin looked so serious. Waiving his hand every now and then as he talked.

Io didn't like it. Because of what he saw in Ijuuin's wallet, his chest was acting all so funny that time.

"What? I can handle that on my own," Ijuuin cocked his head at Io who had been staring at him for a while now. "I have an expert...I don't have to worry about that."

After a couple of seconds, Ijuuin started scribbling something on the tissue paper that came with his coffee. He was still talking on the phone with his brows in a frown. That was when Io thought that Ijuuin might really be the serious type when it came to work.

Io was about to look away since he knew he had been staring for a long while now, only to have his attention be called at once more. Not with Ijuuin's voice but with the tissue paper being waived by the man in the air.

"'Thank you. You got me my usual'..." Io read aloud. So much for irritating Ijuuin, he instead chose something Ijuuin liked. What do they have the same taste?

Sinking into the soft and smooth surface of the leather sofa where he was sitting, Io couldn't help but again throw a side way glance at the man still on the phone. Was it really fate or just meer coincidence?

The more time Io spends around Ijuuin, the more the teen felt like it wasn't just as simple as that. There must be someone pulling on the strings. Of all the people in Japan, no just talk about Tokyo, why would it be Ijuuin of all people?

_This is really insane...why am I getting nervous like this...shit._

Forcing his eyes to look away, Io started staring at the cabinet before him. He could see his reflection on the glass doors of it where Ijuuin's trophies rested.

Io could still see clearly and feel vividly the tightening in his chest when he saw it. The first time he went to visit that shop, feeling low and depressed, the owner of the shop had urged him to write something on a paperbill. Urged him to write his thoughts at that time. He was told the paper bill will be posted on the murals too. So why was it inside Ijuuin's wallet like the man had been keeping it?

The brunette wouldn't have made so much fuss about it if he wasn't serious with what he has written. SHM. That was what he wrote with during his depressed moment. "Someone help me..."

"Io, go tell Minase to come here," Ijuuin ordered.

The teen stood from where he was sitting and Ijuuin was even surprised. The composer had expected a shouting defiance as a reply. But instead Io stood without any objection.

"And Io?"

With a dejected face, the teen turned his head at the man calling him. "Dry your hair will you? You'll catch a cold that way. Ask Fuji where the towels are."

Io just sighed and went out the room, closing the door with a very gentle 'click'.

_What has gotten into him?_ Ijuuin thought before taking a sip of his luke warm coffee.

With a deep frown on Io's fine brows, he had unconsiously clenched his fists as he made his way to where Minase might probably be. Instead of thinking what angry face he should pull at facing the jerk who made fun of him during the audition, Io was thinking about something else.

"I don't want to get used to this."

For surprisingly, Ijuuin Kyo was a lot caring than Io had expected.

* * *

**chapter end notes: **

**pfff...busy busy.**

**thank you for your time and kind words^^**

-SHUUSETSU


	47. Threat

hello! been a while ne? because i was occupied with** LIGHTHOUSE WISHING (oneshot) please give it a try!**..

.i just found the time to write this. and this chapter of Ijuuin and Io...i heart too...they're let's say..less uptight^^

* * *

**【【【****Threat】】】**

Io walked out of Ijuiin's office with a complicated face. Looking to his left and to his right, remembering where the secretary's office was, he scratched the back of his head.

_"Is this really okay...why did I sort of agreed to be here in the first place?"_ he asked walking in the hallway with blinding white colors.

When he found Fuji's office, he went right in without announcing himself and off he saw the frowning expression on the secretary's face as the man shuffled through some files. The secretary didn't say anything so Io continued walking right in. But Io had to stop on his tracks when he heard from his behind the voice that so irritated him. Minase's.

"Oh, it's a surprise you're here...came to beg for admission?" said the haughty voice.

Io who was in no mood to clash with him or to anybody acted as if he didn't hear a thing in that mocking. "Fuji-san, Ijuuin is calling for some shit named Minase, could you tell him to come to his office?"

Fuji had to put his papers down as he stared unbelieving at the teen standing before his table. So much was the distance of Io's sweet face to the filthy, unrefined words coming from his mouth. He cleared his throat and glanced at Minase whose blonde hair was too bright for his eyes.

"Oi, you two, bite each other's head off as much as you want but NOT in my office. You, Minase-kun, go to the boss. And you," Fuji threw his narrowed eyes at Io. "What do you want?"

Minase was pissed as hell but in that floor, the secretary was the second boss and he didn't want to make enemies with the person who books all events and any projects the studio had. So with grudge at Io in full throttle he went out the office, leaving Io and Fuji alone.

The secretary continued on working. The papers being turned filled the awkward silence. Fuji couldn't take it he glanced up from his folders.

"Got something to say?"

"Are you annoyed because Ijuuin brought me here?" Io asked, reading Fuji's face.

"Look," Fuji started setting down the black folder he had in hand. "I don't have a say who he brings here. Besides, for him to pursue you like that, he must have seen something of potential or like that..."

"P-pursued me?" Io repeated, his huge eyes roundening.

"He doesn't spend any second to people he find of not interest. Though I lack the ability to see those things, I as a his secretary just have to put up with his decisions. Don't take my frowning face as an offense the reason I am mad right now is because of that idiot of a boss himself."

Io had already forgotten about towels and drying his hair and he found himself admiring the secretary. No. He already loved the secretary. Hearing the man call Ijuuin names was music to Io's ears. Io felt he found a bird of the same feather in Fuji.

"I see...that's a relief," Io genuinely smiled which for a moment, caught Fuji off guard.

Clearing his throat once more, Fuji sighed and slumped on his seat. "You know I only have this one thought...can I ask you a question?"

The teen took a step forward and stared at Fuji's serious face. "Are you going to stay with Ijuuin for good?"

What on Earth was that question? For a moment Io had a blank face as the screws in his head had a hard time trying to process it.

"You see, that walking weirdness trains people. He shares his knowledge and takes care of them. But in the end, everyone of them had left this studio. That's why there is no real 'BlackMedley's' protege or something. They either went to a different career, to a different studio or plainly given up music. I had no idea why though..."

Io cocked his head. "Sexual harrassment?"

Fuji's face puffed. And before he knew it he was trying to stiffle a loud laugh coming from his mouth. Io was commenting things with a straight face that the seriousness was almost hilarious.

"That's a good one!" Fuji replied smiling. "But gladly I think that's not the reason," Fuji stood from his seat and pulled open the closed venetian blinds. The seal full of accumulated snow. "You know how genuises are often called weird? I think that's the reason. Talking to that guy sometimes even makes me want to cry. He seemed like talking a different language people just couldn't ride on his trip. So...are you going to leave this studio too?"

Io had raised his hand on his neck, scratching the skin even though it didn't itch. He had never thought about staying there forever or something. That was a question he didn't know how to reply when suddenly asked. Thanks to Fuji's loud intercom, the buzzing took the attention and Io was able to breath.

"Fuji," Ijuuin's voice came out from the small device. "Did you find any?"

Almost instantly, Fuji glared at the device on his table. "THE HELL, OF COURSE I DID YOU MORON!" he roared. "Telling me to cancel a meeting that was already planned ahead a week ago and look for caves are you out of your mind?!"

"Oh you did?" Ijuuin's voice didn't seemed to have been affected by the rude talking. "That's great. Thank you. I'll pick up some seashells for you."

"I DON'T NEED IT!"

Io was surprised at the conversation he just heard. They didn't seem to be boss and secretary at all. When Fuji realized how intent the gaze was Io having towards him, Fuji frowned even more.

"That's the reason I am really mad right now," he grumbled. "The moron asked me to cancel a meeting after lunch because he said he wanted to go cave hunting. Seriously, cavehunting in winter. Oh god I wonder why I am working here..." Fuji complained but he seemed to be the kind to like working with the unpredictable people.

Io seeing that Fuji had once more began to be sucked in by his work, he slowly moved away towards the door. He did not need any more towels or drying for he had become dry already. Despite that he didn't worry about getting sick or something. Many thought him to be fragile or the kind to get colds and fever fast, but it was the opposite.

After all that talking about Ijuuin, Io felt one thing. It sounded like Ijuuin Kyo was a lonely man. No one stayed out of all the people he trained? No one at all? He thought about it deeper and came with one person he knew. Wasn't Takahashi Misaki someone that has been trained and taught by Ijuuin before? And there Misaki was with Usami Akihiko, happily livng the life of a taboo couple. Takahashi Misaki as a proof of what Fuji said.

No strings attatched, and it didn't seemed that Ijuuin was all that much bothered. But, was it really...did it not hurt even a little to be left just like that? Did Ijuuin Kyo didn't have even the least bit of expectation that someone would stay? Or perhaps maybe the reason why the composer was fishing people out of his whim, was because he was searching for that one who wouldn't exchange him for something or someone else, someone who wouldn't give him up?

Io saw his reflection against the frosty glass windows viewing the morning. He had an ugly and sour look on his face like he wanted to puke on himself. _"Oi...oi...Io you...haven't you been thinking of that freak too much?!"_ he scratched his head and sighed. His breath creating a fog against the window.

_"...people just couldn't ride on his trip. So...are you going to leave this studio too?"_

The teen wrote "shit" on the glass where his breath had been and turned on his heels to go back to Ijuuin's office. "Who knows?"

* * *

Io who would be mistaken for nothing but a bystander lying on Ijuuin's black and polished sofa frowned. He had been listening to Ijuuin and Minase for the last forty five minutes and he was soon freaking out.

Ijuuin's voice low, serious and most of all, hinting a sound that said 'get it fast or I'll kill you', It was so different from the goofy, happy-go-lucky voice the composer was using just a while ago when he asked him to buy coffee, when he called Fuji using the intercom. It was scary to see how the man had this two different faces.

"Minase, at this part, where the note is a G, you don't immitate it. I want you to raise it one note higher," Ijuuin directed, as he pushed his glasses properly on the bridge of his nose. "Got it? Then start at the cue..."

The keyboard that Ijuuin had hauled from his music studio to his office produced one note at a time. Slow, low and calculating., the music piece titled 'Himeta Omoi'* filled the room. Somehow, it was the kind of song that could bring one's spirit down during a cold day like that. It was somehow, to Io'...a sad one.

"No. Not like that," Ijuuin cut off Minase who was standing, humming into the tune Ijuuin was playing. "Listen very well, don't just hum it, feel it."

They repeated. But Minase was having a hard time 'feeling ' the song.

The man stopped his fingers on the keys. Ijuuin looked around his office while ruffling his black locks. And then his dark eyes rested on Io's form, comfortably lazing away. Well technically not lazing since it was him that had nothing for Io to do.

"Io, you're complaining earlier about having nothing to do, now you have, get here," he called out waiting for Io to move.

The teen curled up on the sofa rolling to Minase and Ijuuin's direction. His face a mix of all kinds of cursings and shock that if one would paint the teen right there and then it would turn into abstract.

Minase obviously confused and annoyed at having to share the composer's attention with such an untalented, genius of a liar Io stepped forward, blocking Ijuuin's view of Io.

"Sensei! What are you doing, I mean I will get the hang of it soon...what are you going to tell him to do the singing right now? Impossible!"

Io on the sofa sat slowly, yawning at the two before him. He was quiet far but he could see the frown on Minase's face when the other teen turned to look at him.

"Sensei..." Io started, immitating Minase's way of calling Ijuuin. It wasn't very successful for Ijuuin to hide his shock and disgust at how Io called him. It just didn't suit Io to call him 'sensei' for some reason. "The blabbering corn is right, what do you expect me to do?"

"Just come here, why are all my students freaking waywards?" Ijuuin commented, moving his fingers at Io as if he was calling a dog.

Grunting, Io moved from the sofa to where Minase and Ijuuin were. At the corner of the spacious room, near the misty windows, Io walked, glaring Minase.

"So...what do you want me to do? Break the glass?" Io asked looking down on Ijuuin who was sitting on a stool.

To Io's surprised, Ijuuin stood abruptly making him realize the irritating height difference between the two of them. Ijuiin grabbed Io's shoulders and pushed the shocked teen to sit on his stool.

"No, you play. I sing," Ijuuin unceremonously announced which froze the two teen at once.

"Ha?" Io asked at an utter loss. Well he have heard the man's songs and instrumentals, he had been unknowingly worshipping them in the first place. But to hear Ijuuin's real voice? No one ever had the chance. "You will what?"

"Sensei..." Minase cut off, not totally pleased to have Io play for him. He wasn't even aware that Io was an all-around player with any instruments there was.

Ijuuin with a face that said get on with it sat at the remaining space where Io was sitting and grunted. Their shoulders touching. "You heard the song a couple of times just now right? I'm sure you already got it so play it for me while I show Minase how I wanted it to be."

Io had a deep frown on his face as he glared at the keyboard. "Okay...fine..." he mumbled._ "Oh shit...why am I excited to hear him...?"_

The teen rested his fingers on the corresponding notes he had heard earlier. He wasn't really familiar with the song so he would just be playing by ear. Io looked up at Ijuuin who was looking at that moment on Io's fingers on the keyboard.

"Will you move away? I can't move my arm, it's bumping against you!"

Ijuuin raised a brow at Io.

"...sir," Io added grudgingly.

Since when was the last time he played? He couldn't remember. Even after his secret had been exposed in Zone, he had stopped playing them for some reason. Some kind of rebelling it was. So the feel at his fingers when he pressed was so nostalgic. He allowed himself to create the sounds he heard before. But he almost froze mid air when Ijuuin came in.

Io didn't look at Ijuuin, but at the corners of his eyes he stared at the black shoes he could see beside him. The teen felt like screaming when Ijuuin rested his hand on Io's shoulder. The teen then raised his gaze at the man who had stood since he shooed him away. His eyes screaming "why is your hand on my shoulder?!"

"You're getting too fast. Slow down," then Ijuuin lifted his hands from Io's shoulder and crossed his arms.

"Damn it..." Io kept on playing, acutely aware that his playing had gone faster because it synchronized with the fast beating of that muscle in his chest. Hearing the low, eerie voice that sounded like a dream, Io was completely, inevitably tossed around.

"Minase, did you get it?" Ijuuin asked after.

"Uhm..." Minase was staring at Ijuuin and at Io the whole time the question registered late. "Ah...yeah...yes sensei...thank you for showing me."

"Io, you continue playing for Minase," Ijuuin said turning around suddenly.

The brunette was happy he was doing something but annoyed that it was for Minase. But Io didn't complain. For when he looked a little lower, he saw Ijuuin's right hand on his side, shaking a little.

_"So his hand...is already tired?"_ Io thought. He was surprised at how much he felt for that scene. That shaking hand showed a great deal of weakness from the man. It bothered Io so he raised his fingers once more on the keys and looked up at Minase. "Corn, start from the top."

"Stop calling me names! And don't act so cocky!" Minase retorted.

"AH, sorry, your hair is too bright it hurts my eyes..." Io grinned. "Now...if you don't want 'sensei' growing mad, be a good boy and follow my lead," Io said sticking his tongue out after.

* * *

It was during that lunch time that Io was snacking on some 'snickers' he had found in Ijuuin's mini refrigerator that he saw the man talking on the phone with a happy smile.

"Who could he be talking to?" he asked, grimacing at the nuts that got stuck in his back teeth. "Smiling like an idiot..."

His feet on his table top, Ijuuin had his phone in one hand and the other was busy tossing a "squeeze ball" with his right. The brunette had concluded it might be a part of his theraphy to play with that yellow ball with a goofy smiling face on it. Minase had gone out, excusng himself for he had to go to a make up class in college. So Io once again reigned the complete control of Ijuuin's it wasn't really 'control' but so what. Io was more than able to breath without Minase there as if he always wanted to pick up a fight.

"Too bad Takahashi...let me guess, he didn't allow you to go alone here, right?" Ijuuin asked laughing.

Io's eyes grew wide for a moment at the mention of the name. Io sheepishly darted his green eyes to Ijuuin's direction without being so obvious.

"Ah then next week? Tell him be fast, we're getting pressured by time..." Ijuuin realized Io was staring and off he threw his squeeze ball at the teen's direction. It hit Io on the shoulder. "No it's okay, I am going to somewhere after this call anyway."

"What the hell are you doing?" Io spat picking up the ball and throwing the ball back at Ijuuin which the man caught perfectly. Goal!

"Oh, that's your bestfriend Io, Takahashi-kun...Hahaha, he's coming with me, it's for him anyway," Ijuuin continued.

"Coming with him? For me? What's he talking about?"

* * *

It was still cold inside the car since the heater was just starting. Everything inside it was gleaming black. The back side of the car was messy with all sorts of paper bags and stuff leaving Io, no matter how much he wanted to seat at the back, have to seat on the passenger seat.

"Tell me," Io started, his face a look of confusion. "Why do you have to drag me into this!?"

Io had just rememmbered about what Fuji said earlier. That his walking weirdness of a boss had just cancelled all his meetings that afternoon for cave hopping. He didn't have the least inkling that he would be dragged along with it. After all protests, Ijuuin managed to provoke the teen into coming.

"Are you afraid I am going to sexually harrass you?" Ijuuin whispered while he was putting his coat on.

"WHAT?"

"I went out my office earlier you know and heard you and Fuji. Caught the words 'sexually harass'...you don't want to come because you're afraid of me?" Ijuuin continued, his eyes smiling in an indecent smile.

"The hell I am scared of you! Fine, I'll go! Just don't waste my time in there!"

"Oh good boy...you'll be having a blast..." Ijuuin replied, walking past the teen.

"Ah, I want to die..."

The brunette had lost track of time as the buildings became less and less and the road had become thicker with trees, blocking the afternoon sunlight. When Io looked at Ijuuin, the man was completely chill, chewing on his gum, blowing it, popping it that made irritating sounds to Io's ears.

The car suddenly parked on the side of the dirt road and Ijuuin hopped out of the car. With a disgusted face, Io followed.

"Are we in the freaking amazon?" he asked aloud.

"Hmmm...quite similar, but very different," Ijuuin answered adjusting his white knitted scarf around his neck but when he caught Io shivering despite his coat, he threw it at Io's face.

Io just stared at it before wrapping it on his neck without saying thank you.

The ground crunching loudly under them, they continued following on a trail. Ijuuin kept on walking and walking that by the time the older man had stopped, Io was a huffing mess.

Io whirled around. He darted his gaze at what was looming in front of him. There before him was indeed a cave. And when Ijuuin pulled something out of the small bag hanging by his shoulder, Io backed out.

"You don't mean..."

Ijuuin having a serious face turned the flash light on and off, on and off as if playing with it and scaring Io. "I do mean it."

"Then...by all means enjoy yourself...I'll wait here."

"What are you saying? As if I'd let you."Just like before, Ijuuin grabbed Io, this time using his own scarf that the teen had wrapped around his thin neck and dragged the teen inside.

It was dark. It was sleepery. And the distant sound of dropping waters was echoing through the dark abyss. After all Io's protest, he had found himself actually grabbing on Ijuuin's coat belt as they went deeper and deeper into the cave. What farce was Ijuuin up to anyway? But Io was too scared to even think. The man was the only one with the flashlight and if he irritated Ijuuin and the man decided to leave him there, he'd be a frozen dead meat the next day. So he shut his mouth.

"Io, scream for me."

"Ha?"

Ijuuin turned around, facing Io. "I said scream for me. The loudest you could."

"What...what are you saying, why would I scream...?" Io tried to walk away but Io grabbed his wrist and turned the flash light off. Instantly, the had been enveloped in pitch darkness. "Wha-what are you doing?!"

"Io, two feet from where you are standing is a cliff that ends to none. If you don't do as I am telling you, I'd push you," the voice speaking was so low it was even barely a whisper. The warmth touching Io's forehead.

"No..." Io forced a laugh. "You-you wouldn't do that..."

"You think so?"

Because he couldn't see anything, Io's voice got caught up in his throat when strong hands grabbed his shoulders and whirled him around. Just after that he felt and heard a gush of wind too terrifying to describe.

"I'd really push you. I'm the kind who gets crazy when I don't get what I want. So..." Ijuuin who by that time was already standing behind Io lowered his mouth to the boy's ear. "...scream."

"Why, why should I? Why are you doing this?" Io murmured...completely scared. He didn't think that Ijuuin could and would be able to do that but who was he to tell? he did't really know what kind of a person Ijuuin was. What is he was a retarted in the loose?

"You know it right?" Ijuuin whispered. "You're medical records..."

"What about it...?" Io asked, trying to grab on Ijuuin's arm. If Ijuuin would push him to that cliff then he'd fucking drag Ijuuin down with him.

"You know you're already healed ages ago. So why are you so afraid to use that vocal chords?"

"Are you insane? I am not well! I can't!"

Ijuuin moved forward, a step closer to death. "You're causing your problem yourself...Io...I am an impatient man..." he whispered, his breath brushing in the insides of Io's cold ears.

"I don't wanna..." Io mumbled. His fingers digging into Ijuuin's flesh. "I don't wanna..."

"Afraid that you'd strain your chords too much and get the same incident happen to you once more? You've been resting it for so long. It's time to use it."

"No."

"Scream up to the top of your lungs Io...I promise you, your voice wouldn't disappear like it did ten years ago..."

According to the summary of the medical report that Ijuuin had read about Io's case, the teen, a young boy that time had been very active at school activities. He'd sing at performances and would cheer for the basketball game they were having at their school. Cold mixed with exhaustion, young Ishi went on singing to the school festival. After that he led his class for a cheering competition.

That night, he was struck with a heavy fever and developed Chronic Laryngitis. It appeared that the boy already was having it for a while. But since he ignored it, the simple situation became worse and the Chronic Laryngitis worsened having nodules grow into his vocal chords. He lost the ability to sing. He lost the ability to talk. He only regained his talking voice after he had the growth in his throat removed surgically. But since then, he had become so afraid of straining his vocal chords he had to withdraw from all sorts of activities that would strain it. Screaming, singing, any kind.

He was already fine, the medical records said. It was Io having that fright of forever becoming unable to talk if he so much as shouted. That was why even though he was so angry, he would yell but still would try to control it.

"Io, if you passed at screaming like there's no tomorrow, that's enough of a proof that you could finally strain and use your chords like normal. That would erase your fright then...so do it."

"So easy for you to say you asshole..." he hissed through the darkness.

"Io, I'm counting from 10 to 1..."

"Why...should I do it!"

"You;re looking at Takahashi with so much jealousy Io. I could see that, so if you don't want to be left behind...scream."

"I'm not j-"

"10..."

Io felt the hands holding both his shoulder tightened, almost pushing him forward. The cold, the sound of the wind, the darkness and Ijuuin's breathing had turned into once ball of fright that he shivered.

"This is just a joke..." Io mumbled.

"9..."

"Shut up..."

"8..."

:"Ijuuin!"

"7..."

"Fuck I'll call you Ijuuin-san, -san-san-san all you want! Cut this out!"

"6..."

"You're not being funny anymore. I'll sue you!"

"5...I said do it."

"You..."

"3..."

"Wait...where's the four!?"

"2..."

Io closed his eyes. "God I'm dead..."

* * *

chapter end notes:

thanks for the time^^

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi Opening  
OST. original Version Side Soundtrack Album  
(Primera Temporada)  
Song:19. 秘めた想い OR *HIMETA OMOI- MEANS** HIDDEN EMOTIONS**  
Official Theme

-shuusetsu!


	48. Fed Up

sorry for the delay...i am kind of feeling under the weather right now...^^ thanks for the support and i made a new cover for shadow singer featuring Ijuuin X Io...if you wanna see just go to mainichiyaoi in tumblr^^

* * *

**【【【 ****Fed Up】】】**

* * *

At the same time that Io felt something brush againts his ear did he feel the hand on his shoulders slide off.

"1..."

Eyes shut tightly, Io held his breath. By doing that made the sounds inside that cave clearer as if it was talking to him. The continuous drop of water from a stalactite falling on a calm surface of water resonated in his ears. Io could imagine them clearly. The wind blowing across his face was chilly numbing his cheeks. He waited. He waited in anticipation feeling the hand on his back give him a push. But he didn't scream. He didn't even utter a sound.

Io waited for that pull of gravity. Every moment passing by added speed into his nervous chest as his heart pounded inside. And yet, it was a slight smack at his back that made Io turn to look despite the darkness.

"I assumed it isn't that easy..." said Ijuuin, turning the flashlight on towards where Io was standing. "Did you know that the echo coming inside the caves are better measures if one is out of pitch or note?"

The boy looked under his feet, slowly darting his eyes to where the endless fall should be. But wherever he looked from the illumination Ijuuin's flashlight offered, there was nothing. It was plain rocks and wet ground that streched deeper inside.

"The cave dwellers before however undeveloped their brains were, lived inside the caves for protection. They know every bit of sound made by intruders. Letting them prepare for the attacks and all those stuff...nomads, are more blessed than the people right now in some ways."

When Io once more looked at Ijuuin, the composer focused the lights at Io's face, making the teen grimace as his corneas tried to process the sudden brightness. He raised his hand to block it.

"Stop doing that!" Io grumbled, his eyes narrowing. "And so? What are you trying to say? That I make a cave dweller of myself?!"

"No..." Ijuuin started walking towards the opening of the cave. Io following with haste steps, tripping every now and then. "It's a waste that people right now, couldn't hear the peace and the music the insides of the cave have. Stagnant, selfish, lonely. That's how I look at this cave."

Io knitted his brows. Ijuuin was making absolutely no sense at all as he continued his speech only he could understand.

"Don't be like this cave, Io."

"..."

As they neared the opening of the cave where they entered, the brightness disturbing Io's eyes forced him to grimace. Only being able to see Ijuuin's back he kept on following. Perhaps, having seen something like a shadow before him to focus his eyes helped him to get out of that forsaken cave. For if it was just him and that eye searing brightness, he would totally be lost.

_"He's full of riddles...I hate it..."_ Io mumbled as he rubbed his eyes after getting out. He rubbed and rubbed with his knuckles, feeling a tightening in his chest. Why did that walking weirdness didn't press on him screaming or something like that anymore? Ijuuin was messing up with his orbit, invading what he had set up for himself. It would be better if Ijuuin got angry. Instead, Ijuuin dived into his space, then backs away right after. Honestly he couldn't understand.

Ijuuin inserted his flashlight back into the small back dangling from his shoulders as he watched the brunette rub his eyes continiously. "Oi, if you rub any further your eyesball will come popping out."

"Don't say disgusting stuff! I despise you...bringing me here..." Io peeked from his hands and glared at Ijuuin, only the green glints showed. "...really really despise you!"

"Hmm...couldn't care less...as long as you follow me around."

"I'm not your dog okay?" Io walked away, wanting to leave there as soon as possible. The crunching under his feet, somehow felt good even though he was pissed.

Walking ahead from the older man, Io was confident he could go back to the dirt road where the car was parked on his own. He stomped angrily. When he was some good yards away, he turned to look if Ijuuin was behind him. But Ijuuin hasn't moved an inch from where he was standing.

"What the hell is he doing now?" Io mumbled. "God I can't follow how he thinks..."

Ijuuin was looking at his hand, making a fist of it, then opening it. A cold breeze passed them by, sending the dead trunks of the trees sway here and there. And honestly, Io wasn't pleased with the air. He could imagine himself being in a suspence flick he wouldn't be surprised if a man with a saw came running out of nowhere slashing them in pieces.

However, despite the distance, Io could see Ijuuin's profile being serious that it left the teen going back to where he left just to see what the hell was going on with Ijuuin.

"Sensei..." Io muttered, his voice coming out of his nose. "Can we get going now please?"

Watching Ijuuin, Io waited for any response but there was none. That was when he realized what Ijuuin was doing. Ijuuin's right hand was slightly shaking. Io hated it that he knew something about Ijuuin's past about his hand. Now he just couldn't ignore it. It pissed him off so much.

"Ijuuin, your hand," Io started leaning closer to the man's hand. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Also, could you get any more disrespectful than that?" Ijuuin answered back, his breath making a white mist of smoke before him. "Let's go."

The man walked past Io, his huge steps a sign that he was in a hurry.

"Eh...I feel that calling you Ijuuin-san, or sensei or whatever it is is too late...I can't," Io mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. Sneakily watching Ijuuin, the teen narrowed his eyes into slits. _"And what nothing? Nothing in that state?"_ Io thought. "Could _it be...that the cold...is getting in his injured hand?"_

With a deep frown, Io followed behind. Ijuuin's back in clear view for Io, the teen watched Ijuuin insert his hand in his coat, still doing the open and close thing he was doing earlier.

_"That's why it doesn't bring any good to know something..."_ Io ran towards Ijuuin's right side, closing the distance between them.

"Ijuuin," Io started when he was already walking side by side with Ijuuin. "My fingers are freezing. This is all your fault for taking me here!"

"Bear with it, we're heading back now, aren't we? You're such a whiner."

"Take responsibility! What if they fall off from my hands!" Io grumbled, wanting to dig a hole and bury himself. _"Shit...what the hell am I saying..."_

"Take responsibility...that sounds really dirty," Ijuuin replied, eyes ahead.

"It's because the insides of your head is dirty. Just...just..." Io drew a deep breath and out of nowhere pulled Ijuuin's right hand out of the man's pocket. "Ho-hold my hand to warm my fingers up just until we get to the car...o-okay?"

Ijuuin's dark eyes with a suspicious look didn't let go of Io's obviously nervouse gaze. From the teen's face, his gaze went down to their hands clasped together.

"W-what are you staring at...this is nothing...just until the car..." Io mumbled, his lips pouting.

The teen looked away, embarrassed and confused why he didn't like the view of Ijuuin standing there looking at his hand. The view was such that it hurt him and made him lonely so he came up with his lie. He really wanted to die on the spot. However, he found himself looking up at the older man when he felt Ijuuin squeeze his hand lightly before pulling him to the long walk back to the car.

"Thank you," said Ijuuin softly.

"Why thank me, it's for my fingers..."

Io was left with nothing but to stare at the dark hair slightly moving with the wind around them. That tall, shady composer, Io was so sure it was bad for him to get closer. Their hands clasped tightly together, Io could feel how cold Ijuuin's hand was. Surprisingly, Ijuuin's hand wasn't soft at all like he thought. All the calouse from playing strings intruments and others marked the long years of hardwork on his hands. Such huge hands, manly feel, protective vibe...Io started coughing.

_"What the...what the hell is this train of thoughts,,,_" Io thought, breaking in cold sweat.

It has been so long since he held hands with others. Besides, his fingers were only laced with a guy he didn't even know during sex when he was still running around, free and wild during the peak of his fallen career. Since when was the last time he even did it again? Since when holding hands felt good? He couldn't even remember paying attention to those silly things. He didn't like holding hands in the first place for some reason. Yet, his hand felt perfectly comfortable to the bigger hand holding his.

Io coughed once more, harder.

Ijuuin had to turn his head slightly at Io coughing as if he was choking with his own breath. "What's going on with you?"

"Don't bother with me! Just... WALK!" Io looked down, hiding his burning face from view._ "At a time like this, thinking those things...argh...someone slap me back to reality..."_

Stealing a glance at Ijuuin's hair, Io frowned once more. Ijuuin's black hair stood out from the white surroundings. Shiny and it looked soft that Io hadn't realized that he was staring too much.

"Io, your hand is getting sweaty."

Io abruptly wanted to pull away. He just remembered why he hated holding hands. People complain when his hand started going sweaty, He only end up getting embarrassed and mad for it. It wasn't like he wanted his hand to be that way but people made him feel disgusting and made fun of him when he was younger.

"It's warmer this way," Ijuuin mumbled, not letting go of Io's hand.

* * *

They rode the car in silence. The dead trees reflecting in Io's eyes grew thinner as they slowly went back to civilization. Ｉｏ ｗａｓｎ'ｔ ｅｖｅｎ ｓｕｒｅ ｉｆ ｗｈａｔ ｈｅ ｗａｓ ｆｅｅｌｉｎｇ ｗａｓ ａｗｋｗａｒｄｎｅｓｓ． Ｉｔ ｗａｓ ｍｏｒｅ ｌｉｋｅ ｈｅ ｗａｓ ｂｅｉｎｇ ｅｘｔｒｅｍｅｌｙ conscious as he tried to sink in deeper at the side of the passenger seat. Making as much as space between Ijuuin and him.

Ijuuin seemed not at all fazed that he went back to chewing him gum while driving. Annoying Io why he had to be the one being consious. He was used with other people feeling conscious about him, not the other way around. As the teen drowned himself with more irritation, Ijuuin stopped the car in front of a store that Io didn't even noticed at the side of the road.

"You can wait here if you don't want to go out. I'm buying something," Ijuuin told Io while grabbing his wallet at the compartment in front of the teen. "What...coming or not?"

"I'll stay here," Io answered weaker than he was intending to muster.

Once Io was left alone in the car, he turned about, looking and commenting how unkept the insides of the car was. He turned on the radio and stretched out on his seat looking out the window. The gentle falling of the snow on the road and at the roofs of the small extablishments were making him a little sleepy. Since he was getting impatient, he directed his attention at the store where Ijuuin went it.

It was old looking, probably the natural design of the store to stand out from the modern stores around it. There were Christmas decorations on display and glittering lights playing and making out different shapes at the glass windows. From the car, he could even see Ijuuin looking down at something as if he was thinking deeply. Io lifted his eyes at the sign.

"Novelty store huh? Didn't know he's the type to be so enthusiastic in such places..."

Io stayed inside like a good kid tapping his foot. His tapping from slow turned faster as his patience was nearing the end of its rope. Grunting and frowning, Io hopped out of the car, slamming the car door shut before running inside the warmth the store was offering. He was welcomed by the faint bells by the door and a soft playing a a Christmas carol.

There wasn't much people inside the store. Only him, Ijuuin at the corner and some girls poking a bear's cheek with the store clerk at the counter reading a book. Such a slacked off vibe was Io getting inside the store.

With an annoyed face, Io stomped towards where Ijuuin was. He was standing before a shelf of small and houses in glasses dipped in water and glitters. It was the cute kind of thing that swirls when the glass was shaken. On the side next to it where small boxes Io couldn't tell what it was.

When Io stood beside Ijuuin and he lifted his green eyes at the composer's profile, he had to look away.

_"Oi...Oi...I don't think that 'thump' thing belongs here..."_ he grumbled.

"Why don't you buy something too instead of drilling a hole on my mug, Io?" Ijuuin suddenly mumbled.

It shocked Io that Ijuuin knew it was him even though he looked so much absorbed into looking at some music boxes.

"Not interested," Io answered as bored as he could muster while tracing the shelf with his index finger.

"Hmmm...music box is simple but makes a pretty sound, what do you think?" Ijuuin asked, almost shoving the polished black, wooden music box onto Io's face.

"Watch out! You're about to hit my face!" Io backed away, his eyes at the small box. "Hmmm...Aren't you tired of black?"

"It's classy," Ijuuin replied. "Takahashi wouldn't mind the outside anyway but the song inside. Wait here, I'll go pay..."

Stuck in place, Io was surprised that he found himself unable to move from where he was standing for a few moments. His eyes followed Ijuuin towards the counter, paying with that little smile plastered on his lips. Somehow, there was something that felt like someone had just pricked needles on his chest.

_"What was that...just now...?"_

"Ah, could you wrap it with that, and use that gold ribbon," Io could even hear Ijuuin's request from that distance as if every senses in his body was directed at Ijuuin that time.

Slowly, Io looked down at the small music boxes in neat line before him. He picked one himself and turned the small knob around as far as it would go.

"No, thanks, I'll write the greetings myself," Io heard Ijuuin once more.

_"Christmas present, huh?_" Io thought, swallowing the tightness he could feel in his throat. _"What's so good about Christmas? It's just for show anyway..."_

The music box started producing a sweet sound. Calming and a warm feeling filled him as he watched the knob turn its way around.

_"Yeah, that Misaki is the type to be overjoyed with these kinds of childish cheesy stuff..."_ Io thought, putting the music box down while exhaling. "I'd rather someone give me money for drinking and partying...than this... this..." Io turned his back from the music boxes and tugged at the scarf around his neck. "...what's it's not like I'm jealous about a freaking box...I'm not a kid anymore."

The bells by the door rang a little violently like the door had been swung strongly. Male voices drowned the Christmas carold playing in the background and their voices filled the store. Laughing, chuckling and joking with each other.

"I don't know what to give to my girlfriend..." one of the guys chirped.

"Anything will do, man...what about those houses encased in glass and glitters?"

"Where?"

"I've seen it before...at the back..."

The sounds of heavy footsteps on the heavy floor didn't even distract Io from staring once more at the music boxes. Yeah he wasn't jealous alright but he couldn't keep his gaze off of it anyway,

"Ne...ne...look...don't you think he's familiar?" one of the guys whispered.

The taller one stepped to Io closer scrutinizing Io's profile like he was some kind of display for sale.

"Io? You're Io right?"

The brunette lifted his gaze from the boxes towards the trio staring at him with wide eyes.

"Uwah...could you give us autographs?"

Io backed away a little. The trio looked really eager that Io felt like smiling for a bit. Since when did anyone ever asked for his autograph after the girl in the archives?

"Au-autograph..."

Green eyes darted from one expectant faces after another and inserted his hand inside his jeans where he remembered placing a small ballpen inside. Just when after he had pulled his pen out, the taller guy stepped in, looking closer at Io's face.

"Nah, I changed my mind...thanks..."

Io stared at them frozen.

"I mean, you're not a celebrity anymore right? I was thinking of giving my sister an authograph from you but I remembered she doesn't like you anymore..."

A guy wearing a neutral face stepped in, trying to stop the guy acting as their leader. "Stop it. He's still got some pride even if he's a failure."

The group started laughing at Io's face. If Io was his usual self, the Io who was famous and envied like he was before, he would have spat at their faces without so much thought. But ever since he had accepted that he was at the pits at the moment, he couldn't fire back. He could just stare.

"Damn Jin, when you say something like that with a straight face...you're so cruel aren't you?"

"By the way, advance Merry Christmas, Io-kun!"

They laughed, calling Io names as if the teen wasn't even there. Like how Io was such an attention sucker. Untalented star wanna be and all that crap that could just make one depressed.

Io's hand holding his pen grew numb and it fell on the floor. It hurt like hell. Like how an open wound had been smeared with not just salt but vinegar. He just watched the group leave the store with out buying,

Rage boiling in him, Io started taking huge steps. His feet just started moving on its own, His pace grew faster until he was about to dash out of the store and bash the trio into a pulp. But Io felt his shoulder about to snap off when a hand grab his arm, securing him in place.

"Io, don't."

The teen didn't look at Ijuuin. Io was really mad he was huffing as if all the blood in his body went up to his head.

"Why do I have to endure those ugly bastards remarks?" Io hissed. "I was quietly looking at those music boxes...I am not doing anything!" Io abruptly looked at Ijuuin, his eyes red from trying so hard not cry it looked like it hurt. "Why can't I hit their faces?!"

The other people inside the store started looking at Ijuuin and Io by the door. The older man sighed and grabbed the teen by the shoulders, pushing Io's face against his chest. The brunette tried to struggle since he couldn't see a thing and he was really in a fury that his sob started escaping his mouth.

"Don't cry now. Not here, not before them," Ijuuin whispered, leading Io back into the car.

"How many times do I have to act like it's nothing...Damn it...I am not a good child...I really want to beat them up...I'm so fed up...so fed up!" Io said while gritting his teeth.

"Shush...I know," Ijuuin mumbled, as he opened the passenger seat for Io.

"The hell are they talking behind my back...the hell did I do to them...I hate them...and I HATE YOU FOR STOPPING ME!" the teen continued grumbling, his face still hidden against Ijuuin's chest. "I hate them...I hate them...shit..."

Tired from Io's whining, Ijuuin pushed Io inside the car, leaning inside the towards the teen

"Listen Io...let me tell you one thing," Ijuuin started, grabbing his scarf on Io's neck and used it to wipe the tears he saw on Io's face for the first time. "Don't mind those people talking like that and people telling stuff behind your back okay? Ignore them."

Io's glare since he couldn't lash out was directed at Ijuuin. He was crying not because he was pitying himself but because of his anger. It was more painful to stop crying from anger than crying from sadness.

"Ignore them? I've been doing that for so long...it's them who wouldn't leave me alone! Everyone of them!" Io shouted at Ijuuin's face.

"Ignore those people talking behind your back. We cannot do anything about it," Ijuuin continued, suddenly patting Io on the head lightly. "People talking behind your back, ignore them all. Because that is where they exactly belong Io. Behind you. Understand?"

Green eyes stared long at the black eyes looking back at him. Before Io knew it, he had buried his face on both his hands. Crying he did. Crying and sobbing like he hadn't done for so long. Ijuuin closed the car door gently and waited outside the car in silence. Allowing Io to cry at his heart's content.

* * *

**chapter end notes: **

haha...i mean...uwah...i don't want to get sick! GO AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY germs and viruses!

-shuusetsu


	49. Jealousy

first and foremost, i apologize for the long delay...i had to take a avacation or something! anyway..i am baaaaack! arigatou for the patience!^^

* * *

**【【【****-Jealousy-】】】**

With a smile bordering between annoyance and amusement, Ijuuin looked over to the person sitting two stools away from him. He then stared at his cognac with an impending laughter at the absurdity of the situation.

_"Ridiculous...there's no helping you Kyo..."_ Ijuuin whispered before lifting the cold glass, seductively to his lips.

Many had been eyeing the manly yet boyish smile Ijuuin was making at the farthest corner of the bar counter. The dim lighting only accentuated the face almost without flaw under the tantalizing shadows. He gave off an aura both saying back off but then saying marvel at me that it was hard not to notice him.

But unlike many other men who took pride of their looks, Ijuuin seemed to be not bothered at all by the stares. Maybe because he just already grew accustomed to it. Throwing a glance every once in a while at the brunette who was sitting two stools away, Ijuuin sighed wondering what on earth he was doing.

"Oi...I didn't agree to bring you here to waste yourself," Ijuuin announced, his head probbed on his hand, a glimmer of the yellowish tints of the lights reflected in his eyes, giving the impression of something burning. "I'm telling you I'll leave you here without a second thought if you allow yourself to get drunk."

The teen who had a couple of glasses of different drinks already lined up before him snorted, glancing irritably at his 'boss' or whatever the hell one woud call there current set-up was.

"I don't get drunk unless I drink a drum of it all," Io scowled, running his fingertips at the rim of his glass. His fingers dancing a little hypnotizing for Ijuuin caught the other onlookers checking out the brunette. "I don't get drunk fast, and that's what's making me royally annoyed."

Ijuuin rolled his eyes and once more focused his orbs at the drink before him, watching the ice melt with faint clanks.

Earlier that day, before going back to his studio, he was as surprised to meet some sharp tongued people in the novelty store he and Io stopped by. It was the first time Io had deliberately shown such anger and frustration about the treatment he was getting. In truth, Ijuuin could sympathize even for a little since Io was indeed, despite not wanting to admit it was trying to behave himsef as best as he could. He was far from rumors and the result of his reseach saying Io was a wayward, dumbass and smart-ass teen idol, well he still was, in the smart-ass aspect. Still, Ijuuin could understand the pent up feelings.

Ijuuin shook his head remembering that he just once more succumed to a weakness. If there was any flaw Ijuuin could say about his personality, the first thing that came to mind was his weakness to tears. Women, men, children, animals, whatever, if one started crying, Ijuuin was just weak to those. And so when Io started crying inside his car and then asked to have a few drinks after calming down, as stupid as it could be, he granted Io's wish. Off they drove to a quiet upscale bar, going inside it like the two didn't even know each other.

Time passed and Ijuuin started getting bored. The soft playing in the background was to his taste but he soon started getting tired of it. But his 'student' downed glass after glass after glass still not the least bit affected. Ijuuin found it quite fascinating to watch a rather small-built guy like Io drink like there was no tomorrow. To top it all up, drink without getting drunk as fast as normal youngsters did.

Io raised his gaze up and to his left side when two females sat near him. The ladies was having some serious talk for they were having a really ugly face through the shadows. On the side, Ijuuin decided that once Io finished the current wine he was drinking, he'd drag the boy out, even haul him over his shoulders if he had to. God knows why thoughtstill not at the legal drinking age, the bartender kept on serving Io like a VIP just because the teen smiled a lustful one.

"I don't know...well...at first I thought his performance would improve," one of the woman with a shorter hair and rounder figure started, signalling for the bartender for the usual. "But...I hate to admit it but I feel unsatisfied...like he's not reaching it..."

The composer who could clearly hear what was being said looked the other way. Women, they annoyed Ijuuin for some reason, that was even why he couldn't even think of going out with one more than friendship. Well, he had so few people he could call his friends anyway.

"Have you tried other positions?" the other one queried.

His black eyes turning into slits, Ijuuin wanted to barf right there on the spot. Such unsophisticated topic that even if they were in a bar, shouldn't be muttered like that as if just talking about the weather. It may not look it but Ijuuin had always wanted to keep whatever he do on his bed private. Otherwise he might just as well make a porn video like of he'd announce it without care in a bar like that.

By the moment, Io's brows furrowed deeper and deeper. He was after all sitting closer to the women tha Ijuuin din. The last thing he wanted to hear was how a man was poor at sexual intercourses at his depressed and irritated state.

"Miss, if you want pleasure you shouldn't just let all your man do the work," Io abruptly cut in with the talk, which sent Ijuuin staring at the brunette.

"Excuse me?" the girl telling her sex life asked, feeling high and mighty.

"Is your boyfriend on the smaller side?" Ijuuin was such lost for words that he could only gape at the young teen's question sitting near him. "If you do it in missionary position, lift your legs up or you could go wrapping your legs around your partner's back. Deeper penetration guaranteed."

"What the hell is your problem butting in like that?" the girls growled ready to claw.

"Well you're practically announcing your pathetic sex life in here you know...and it's annoying," Io replied sternly.

The ladies stared at the teen who looked a little mature because of the dim lighting then had to look farther for Ijuuin at the last stool was shaking violently. Before they realized it, Ijuuin was laughing his head out.

This triggered a little commotion and left soon after.

"Oi, you're really a twisted prick, aren't you?" Ijuuin mused, feeling content at laughing.

"Why it's resentful to hear about her fucking. I haven't been able to get off myself for all eternity thank her for reminding me."

The older man paid one long look at Io's profile before looking at his wrist watch. It said eight in the evening, He decided not to pry on Io and the last thing the teen had mentioned. After all, Ijuuin could tell Io was a part of the other team. A man going after men could tell their own kind. As if they had built universal a radar of recognition among them. However, Ijuuin wasn't really thinking about Io's sexuality since for one, he wasn't interested with Io, second, he was still on for Misaki though he could only gaze from afar.

"Ijuuin," Io called, having not the least bit of honoring that the person he was calling was his senpai in life. "Why did you pursue me?"

With a flinch of his left brow, Ijuuin turned his head slightly at Io's direction. Pursued? Who? He did?

"Fuji-san said it...and you really did piss me after all like you're some kind of stalker..."

"I wouldn't say 'pursue' brat. It gives a different ring to it. All I wanted is for someone not to waste what could have been a very beautiful gift to society."

"Shit...are you some advocate of music and the handicapped?"

For a moment, Io felt like falling off from where he was sitting when all of a sudden, Ijuuin's eyes threw a deep glare at him. It wasn't scary or anything like that, it was more of suddenly cowering from nervousness. It didn't help the hollows created by the shadown on Ijuuin's face.

"I'm warning you Io, the last thing I want to hear from you is the word 'handicapped'. And watch your tone with me," Ijuuin continued with such a calm voice which was more intimidating than a shouting one. "I am still older, and I am still your teacher and boss."

Struck senseless for a couple of seconds, Io just stared at Ijuuin before gathering his composure back. "Wh-what...we're not at the studio so that heirarchy doesn't apply here..." he mumbled, drinking the glass of wine before him in one huge, gulp.

"Do you know at least the word 'respect'?" Ijuuin continued sternly. He looked down at his glass as if dismissing Io. "If you don't start giving that out, no one will give you."

Io sulked. He wanted to throw more battle of words but as usual, there were times that he just felt like he must shut up. Like as if he was afraid to actually push Ijuuin over board. What was more intriguing and annoying even was it was as if he was really submitting to Ijuuin without Ijuuin even trying.

"Am I an animal? Being tamed or something..." Io sheepishly looked at Ijuuin;s profile before standing up. "Comfort room."

The older man stood as well and turned his back at Io. "It's time to leave. You go directly to the parking lot after your trip to the comfort room, Io."

"But it's still early! Go back if you want, I'll stay here..."

"Parking lot."

The brunette stared at Ijuuin's back with a look of disbelief in his green eyes. One time Ijuuin was a freak. The next Ijuuin was all mature and giving off lectures about life, with a little cheering him on. Next Ijuuin would just turn a cold back right off the bat. Io hated it. It was as if he was the one dancing on Ijuuin's hands and no matter how he tried to act tough and defy the man he ended up actually, to his dismay really following Ijuuin.

After his trip to the comfort room, Io tugged into his scarf, readying himself for the kiss of the chilly night. Just when he was about to reach the sliding doors of the exit, someone grabbed him by the shoulder. He turned around to look with a raised brow. And when he did, he realized he was looking at a finely built man, tasteful with his clothes and exude a classy air.

"You came here with Cyrus, right? Where is he?"

Io knitted his fine brows, his pretty face contorting into confusion. "Cyrus? The fuck is Cyrus?" Io blurted, meaning to keep it to himself but muttered it aloud accidentally.

The other who was a little taller than the brunette smiled cooly. "Did his taste change?" the stranger eyed him from heat to foot. "Not bad...hey, how long have you been going out with him?"

"Ha? I'm sorry but I don't have an ounce of idea what you're talking about," Io replied while ransacking his brain for the names of his past flings. He couldn't remember anyone with the name 'Cyrus'.

Out of the blue, the very same guy grabbed on to Io's chin, tilting the teen's face left and right as if inspecting him thoroughly. Io right away slapped the hand away with a glare that can kill.

"What the hell are you?" Io spat.

The two stared for a long while. Panting, Io stepped back, feeling cornered as three more came behind the classy, asshole man before him.

"Ei, what ya doin? The table's ready," a guy wearing a sparkly scarf started, eyeing Io questioningly.

Classy dumb-ass, according to Io smiled without removing his gaze from Io's face. "Cyrus came, with him," he announced, nodding at Io's direction.

_Who the fuck is Cyrus?_ Io grumbled.

The new comers whisperd excitedly but had a look a little disapproving at Io like they just made him as their enemy.

"I think his face is somewhat familiar, don't you think?"

Io darted his eyes at the strangers one after another, getting annoyed by the minute. Feeling he would get nothing from staying any longer, he stepped back and made for the door. Only to have his hand yanked back, securing him into place.

"What did you do?" classy, dumbass asked.

"What did I do?" Io repeated exasperted.

"Cyrus, never brings anyone with him in bars. He's not the type to tow someone else with him...so what did you do?"

All that Io could remember was the freaking cave escapade and the bastards who insulted him and then him crying his eyes out inside Ijuuin's car. He couldn't fathom where this was going. "Are you freaking morons? I don't know Cyrus so fuck off and stop stalling me, alright?"

They were starting to gather attention from the people silently talking in their own tables. The dim lightings giving them a mysterious effect. And then to everyone's surprise and Io's annoyance, the last person he wanted to see him getting into another fight, appeared, pushing the sliding doors gracefully.

"Bratty, there I was thinking you've already flushed yourself in the toilet. Move it...I don't want to get into the traffic."

After calling out to Io, Ijuuin's gaze darted to the group that looked like cornering the brunette. His face grew a bored expression walking towards Io.

"Don't blame me, they've been pestering me with Cyrus, Cyrus, Cyrus, I don't have an idea about!" Io grumbled with an annoyed face.

The people smiled at Ijuuin which Io didn't fail to notice. To Io's surprise, though he was already having some thoughts he pushed away, the strangers gathered around Ijuuin looking pleased and reminiscent.

"Cyrus, it's been a while isn't it? You stopped coming to the bars, we thought something happened to you."

Io looked up at Ijuuin questioningly, mouthing 'Cyrus' trying to supress a laugh.

_"Cyrus? Pretending to be cool huh you old man..."_ Io thought, snickering.

"Make a scene and you'll regret it..." Io heard it clearly but with seemed like no one else aside from him did. Ijuuin had this talent of talking even though his mouth looked like it didn't even move.

"Don't tell us you already settled down with that kid with you?"

Ijuuin sighed eager to leave the place as soos as possible. When the Sonate Music Competition started, he did stop playing and coming to bars for fun, having the thought that he could actually get Takahashi Misaki to like him with settling down in mind. Though he wasn;t surprised it didn't went well and he ended up being rejected, he didn't had the chance to go back to the happy and carefree life of a single man since the Sonate President has been pestering him to take someone and train under his name.

Besides, he wasn't really in play mode. So he started focusing himself with his studio, his student Minase and this way ward teen beside him named Io.

"Sorry guys but I am quiet busy so we'll leave first."

Classy guy stepped forward, grabbing Io by the hand once again inspecting Io's face.

"Cyrus, you've got a pretty little thing in tow here...come to think of it, you have never shared your date with us, why don't we go back to the old times and get to know each other better?"

With the most disgusting face, Io yanked his hand off. Much to his dismay, to no avail.

"Excuse me...but I don't like your mug!" Io spat.

There seemed to be a switch that has been turned on, turning the ambiance from playful flirting to menace. Ijuuin who had his hands deep inside his coat pockets pulled his right hand out and pointed at the hand gripping Io's wrist.

"I am in no mood right now. You let go of this 'pretty little thing' or I'll break that hand of yours."

The brunette was surprised that the classy guy and the rest of the guy seemed to suddenly had their tails in between their sorry legs. Massaging his wrist, Io gazed at Ijuuin's profile in astonishment. He would have never imagined that Ijuuin could pull such a scary face. The man didn't even touch him or the others but somehow, one's instincs would tell not to piss Ijuuin too much.

There was one thing though that Io felt a little pleased about. Ijuuin addressing him as a 'pretty little thing'. An assurance at least that his freak of a sensei wasn't immune with his charms.

"I bet your patron is gonna get tired of you soon Cyrus," the classy dumbass hissed before turning back. Leaving Io all confused.

Ijuuin walked out the door first, Io scurrying after him like a curious little child.

"Oi, oi...Ijuuin, why are they calling you 'Cyrus'? What patron are they talking about?"

The moment the breeze brushed on both male's cheeks, the heat in Ijuuin's head seemed to have lowered down finally, tucking his hand inside his pocket to ready the car keys.

"Oi, come on!" Io nagged, running before Ijuuin and walking backwards with a funny grin. "Wanting to sound cool, old man huh of all names, 'Cyrus'? Are you a freaking teenager?"

Ijuuin kept silent until they reached his car. The entire lot echoing the beeping sound of his car being unlocked, it was filled with Io's curious nonstop questions too. They both hopped in the car, Io getting a glimpse of the small box in a pretty gift wrapper on the dashboard, making him taste a little sourness in his lips.

"If you're not going to say anything, I'll ask Fuji-san," Io threatened sulking as he glared at the view in front of him. "I bet he knows."

He cursed under his breath. Io was left speechless seeing Ijuuin looming closer to him with a stern look. Trying to sink lower on his seat, the brunette couldn't let go of the dangerous gaze that was directed at him. And the worst part , his chest which wasn't supposed to be feeling nervous like he was so defenseless drummed like crazy.

"H-hey...Ijuuin?" Io stuttered, sinking lower and lower trying to avoid the closing gap of his and Ijuuin's faces.

"...!" Io closed his eyes shut feeling his seat shake a little. But he opened his eyes right away, realizing the centimeters gap between their breaths.

"Seatbelt," Ijuuin announced with a lopsided grin before moving away from Io and readying the car to pull off.

Io looked down on his waist, realizing that his seatbelt has been fastened already. By Ijuuin. And he was getting furiously embarrassed.

"What was that for!? I can put my seat belt on my own!" Io shouted, the car shaking a little at his random movements on his seat.

"You've had your fun barraging me with questions. I just had mine."

"Fuck you."

Furious at Ijuuin, Io gripped his seat belt tight. He really thought Ijuuin was about to just kiss him like that. He was mad at Ijuuin for making him think that it was even possible.

"Io, your words," Ijuuin muttered, finally getting on the main road smoothly. "I have a very long patience and you don't want to exaust it, I am telling you."

The car ride was silent, save from the low volume music Ijuuin was playing. Before Io was the view of the busy night life and streets as they found themselves caught up with the occasional buildup of traffic.

"I am telling you there's no reason for you to act like a sulking baby there Io," Ijuuin started when the traffic went longer. "Those were just trivial matters that would just bore you."

"I decide what's boring and what's not," Io replied, turning his face towards the car window and staring up at the high rise building. The top of it blinking red.

"I introduced myself to them as Cyrus, a male who loves to fool and swing around for money. I don't want to reveal my real identity. That's all."

The brunette didn't move at all but he moved his eyes towards the man sitting near him. The boy yawned and slumped more casually on his seat.

"That's all? Eh...boring," Io mumbled.

"It's you who seemed to be so interested."

"Excuse me! I am not interested with your life or your past!"

Ijuuin laughed. A laugh that made Io cringe. It was not because it was annoying or anything which the teen was initially expecting. It was because he liked the ring of it in his ears. Sort of like a low, yet alluring sound that warmed his chest. And Io got more and more confused.

"What's so funny?"

"The building where you live is a little far from here, isn't it?" the older man asked, turning to a left-turn.

Io was a little taken aback by the question that he just nodded without thinking.

_"He's dropping me off to my place?"_ the brunette thought, feeling a little light. The kind that spreads across the chest to the throat, it hurt and felt good too. And then his thoughts was broken by a beeping sound.

The boy watched Ijuuin place his bluetooth receiver in his ear as he drove into the now flowing traffic.

"Hey, what's is it?" came the casual remark of Ijuuin which sounded so pleased. Io averted his eyes but with his ears perked up, annoyed at himself for being so unexplainably curious to whomever the man was talking to.

"It's a fail...but it was sure fun..."

The brunette on the passenger seat flinched a little knowing it was him being mentioned on that 'fail' part.

"Why did you call? Does Usami knows about this?"

At the mention of the name, Io's hand resting at the narrow space of the car window seal fell on his side. Under a normal circumstance, Io would be thrilled by the name of the composer he so looked up to before. But that time, it was all Misaki he could think of talking to Ijuuin Kyo.

"What?" Ijuuin turned his head to look at Io who had a blank face staring back at him. "Now?"

At that precise moment, Io knew what would happen next. He hated it but he knew it was going to end up that way. He battled the body reflex of hugging himself due to the cold temperature once he was out of the car standing on the sidewalk with Ijuuin looking up at him.

"Something came up, will you be alright?" Ijuuin asked, still the bluetooth in his ears.

"I can go home on my own," Io answered heatedly. "Jerk..."

"Io, I called a taxi for you, it'll be here any moment. Don't go anywhere else and go home. It's getting late."

The brunette just exhaled exageratedly, the misty white fog his breath created disappearing soon.

Black eyes eyed Io for a long while. And Io found it a little nerve wracking. Like as if he was standing naked on the streets.

"Don't forget tomorrow Io. I need you around Minase. Review the folder you got from Fuji and again, Seven sharp."

Annoyed and disappointed though Io didn't want to accept, he raised a mocking brow at the older man. "Whatever."

Ijuuin made no sound or word and just eyed Io. Making Io the defeated one.

"I will be there at fucking seven in the morning you deviant!"

Ijuuin smiled.

Io gulped. There went the uninvited thumping in his chest so suddenly like he was choking. He just hoped it didn't betray the annoyed face he was pulling off.

"I'll see you then tomorrow," said Ijuuin.

For some reason, Ijuuin didn't drive off still as if thinking about something.

"What? Go now. What are you staring at?" the teen scowled, looking faraway.

"Come here," Ijuuin ordered.

"What is it now?"

"Just come here."

Dragging his feet, stomping his boots violently on the pavement, Io moved to the side of the driver's seat and peered down at Ijuuin.

"Move closer," Ijuuin ordered again.

"Tsk...treating me like your servant..." Io complained but complied anyway.

Much to his surprise, the moment Io bended his back a little to be on eye level with Ijuuin, the composer threw his white scarf around Io's neck. Tugging it properly around the teen's neck, Ijuuin's eyes were focused on the fabric. While shamefully Io's were focused on Ijuuin's mouth.

"You better gain more meat in you, you know. You're like a shivering cat," Ijuuin mumbled, giving the final tug. "There. Mind you it's a favorite so take care of that. I'm off then."

Io stood there dumbfounded as he watched Ijuuin's black car mingle with the others on the road. It disappeared fast but Io kept on looking at the road with a dazed expression. His pride was hurt being left on the streets just because a meer Misaki called. But more than that, Io felt something else that was bothering.

It was cold as ice but then he knew his cheeks were burning. He slowly buried half of his face to the cotton, white scarf wrapped around him and inhaled. Sensing the faint cologne Ijuuin used. Not strong as if there was nothing at all. The warmth was also still there. By the time the taxi that Ijuuin called for Io arrived, Io was almost tearfilled once more.

Real kindness without asking anything in exchange and meaning hurt. That was what Io thought before hopping in.

* * *

chapter end notes:

yaho! minna-san konnichi wa! uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...that vacation...felt so long i felt like there's no going back! hahaha..thank you for the support and the patience!

-shuusetsu


	50. Breathless

**i am so sorry for the delay! but here i am! finally! omg i missed this world! thanks for the support and the love and the encouraging words!**

* * *

**【【【****Breathless**】】】

Io sighed. From across the streets, he could already see someone nonchalantly walking with red earphones stuck in his ears. It highly contrasted the white coat the darkhaired man was wearing.

"What's the best word to describe him?" Io wondered, his face resting on his hands as he sat at the last steps of the stone steps outside the building. He knew he was an hour early in comparison to the seven am talk time. But what could he do when he couldn't even almost sleep thinking where Ijuuin Kyo went last night.

The teen buried his face on his hands, abruptly slapping his cold hands on his cold cheeks in annoyance.

"God...why do I fucking care!" Io grunted, peeking from the spaces of his fingers. Ijuuin had stopped on his walk, readying himself to cross the streets.

Chilly and foggy, Io remained like that. Peeking from his hands as he observed Ijuuin at the other side of the street. There were a few people down the streets. Not much car as well and the stop light was red. If it was Io, he was sure he'd run across the road. Who cares about the traffic lights when there were no cars? Why walk if he had a car? Ijuuin was somehow really full of wonders Io couldn't sometimes grasp.

"Such a law abiding citizen...tsk tsk..." Io grumbled, frowning. However, as if someone slapped him, Io suddenly coughed from where he was sitting. "The accident..." feeling all guilty all of a sudden.

The moment the traffic lights went green, Io thought Ijuuin would already cross. But the man remained standing there, looking at him.

"What are you still standing there you moron...I am freezing here..."

Io's phone then vibrated.

Lazily fishing the phone out of his green jacket, Io didn't remove his eyes from the man on the other side of the streets. He didn't even look at the caller. He got the feeling he knew already who it was.

"What?" Io uninterestedly answered, scowling at Ijuuin. "Don't tell me you want me to fetch you from over there?"

"Last night, at 9:15, the taxi I called for you took a stop didn't it?"

The brunette knitted his brows not knowing how Ijuuin learned of such a thing. He then put it back against his ear.

"That?" Io paused, ransacking his brains. To be honest he couldn't remember clearly, he fell asleep during the ride so he couldn't answer Ijuuin's question right away. Just a blurry memory of the driver apologizing for a tire problem. Io was too unconcerned for it that he just took a nap inside. "...I think some tire problem...well I was napping so I was-"

"I see," Ijuuin replied, finally started crossing the streets. "Then it's fine."

Io wasn't all that happy about being cut-off when he was still talking. The sound of the end tone annoying his eardrums. He wasn't happy seeing the satisfied look of Ijuuin as if something really good happened. And he wasn't the least bit happy about last night which he still carried a grudge about.

"You went to Takahashi's last night right?" Io asked, sounding between the border of being bored and being irrate. "Just one call and you could throw other people out it seems."

Both men passed the scanner, the device producing a beeping sound. Still way earlier than the normal office hours, Ijuuin and Io had the elevator for all themselves.

Io removed his coat as the centralized heater warmed the entire building, his eyes still at Ijuuin's back.

"Did you like spending the night there?"

Ijuuin who was staring hard at the blinking lights above before them stepped sideways and eyed Io's face with a dark expression. It seemed like Ijuuin's mood wasn't all that good as well.

"And what are you implying then?"

"Nothing. Just next time, don't go dragging me with your whims then t-toss me aside..."

With a grim face, Ijuuin leaned closer. His cigarette with his early coffee mixing, producing a wild scent before Io. The teen maintained a stern face but his foot moved on its own and stepped back. As if a trapped animal in a cage.

"Io, I am quite not in the good mood right now to ride on your childish ramblings. You're here before me in one piece, what else to do you want?"

At the sound of the elevator opening at the eight floor, Ijuuin turned his back as if dismissing their morning bout. Huge steps were made, shoes echoing on the black and white floor that seemed like a huge chess board, Io followed almost running behind.

After entering Ijuuin's office, the teen walked in, silently closing the door behind him. The composer hasn't even sat on his chair when the phone started ringing. With a deep frown, Ijuuin pushed the answer button while setting up his computer. It was as if Ijuuin was doing all sorts of things all at the same time without even glancing at Io. It felt like Io wasn't even there anymore.

"Yes. I got it here in my email...yes."

Like what a real servant, though Io didn't want to admit, he sat on the dark sofa, waiting for anything the lord before him would tell him to do. But it has been almost thirty minutes without Ijuuin so much as glancing at him. It made Io feel disturbed and bothered if he did actually cross the line and Ijuuin was finally mad at him.

"Minase is doing fine but my decision is final," Ijuuin almost half shouted to the phone. "I believe that yesterday and today are two different matters. Don't go mixing them together."

Ijuuin stood from where he was sitting and removed his coat in one swift movement. That was when Io realized that Ijuuin was still wearing the same clothes he was wearing yesterday. The man threw it on his chair and faced the foggy window. One hand on his hips.

"Ha?" Ijuuin laughed but it sounded angry. "Who cares?"

Io looked at his fingers. closing them, opening them and every word Ijuuin muttered sent Io's inside jumpy. He had seen a lot of people get pissed and mad almost to the point of bursting. Ijuuin hadn't even thrashed out but Io felt intimidated.

"They could all do whatever they want."

The man abruptly turned to look at Io. "Io, please get out for a moment."

"W-why? I..."

"Please get out. Fuji's already here, help him out first."

The brunette stood hesitantly. Eyes fixed at the black hair that surprisingly looked shining under the morning lights, Io slowly made his way out. He wasn't paid attention to for a long time and when he finally did get it, he was just told to leave. Another strike to his pride.

* * *

"Oh, good morning Io..." Fuji greeted as he placed down a folder to his neat table. The blinds had been already pulled up, allowing the sun rays enter the office. The older man in a suit and glasses narrowed his eyes at the brunette that entered. "You look like you stayed up all night...did something happen?"

Io closed the door gently, as if suddenly he became lifeless._ "Fuji-san could even see yet that walking weirdness didn't...makes me feel..."_

"Io? You're spacing out. Are you sick?"

"Ah? No-nothing. Sorry," the boy walked towards the table. "Do you have anything for me to do? I was thrown out of Ijuuin's office."

"Thrown out?" Fuji smiled thoughtfully. "You haven't seen yet how he gets angry. Ignore him okay?"

That was what Io really wanted to do. Ignore Ijuuin and all his peculiarities. But it seemed like it was too late for him. He had come to take note of Ijuuin's presence though the man doesn't see him in anyway aside from being a talent to be nurtured.

Io frowned. It made him feel utterly depressed just thinking about it. Just being left last night. Just remembering the change on that man's face when Misaki called. He was starting to doubt if actually accepting Ijuuin's offer was the right thing to do. He just felt like sinking lower and lower the more he thought about it.

"Let's just take it easy...want some coffee?" Fuji asked. "Though just the instant one. Unlike Ijuuin, I don't want wasting energy going into the cafe just for a coffee."

Sitting on the chair before Fuji's table, the boy watched the hot water be poured into two white mugs. The sound of it calming that Io started feeling his eyes go droopy.

"Ijuuin is a jerk...isn't he?" Io just up and said it. Fuji didn't seem to mind since he agree with the teen at some point.

Extending the cup of coffee to the teen before him, Fuji looked closely at the boy as if reading him.

"Well...he is a jerk. But he's a really protective person to the people around him...at least he have those kind of plus points aside from him being an unneccessary genius with many things."

Io pouted. _"Protective my ass...he even left me alone just to see his adored one."_

"Hmm for instance, last night," Fuji sipped first his coffee before continuing. "He kept on bothering me your whereabouts. Your cab took a stop right? Around 9:15 if I can remember..."

With a furrowed brows, Io's green eyes darted from his hot coffee to Fuji. "He also asked me about that a while ago...I mean...how did you even know that?"

A little shock painted on the secretary's face, he suddenly chuckled as he placed his cup down. "Oh you didn't know? The cab that went to get you has a tracking feature available. A special service so that the one who called will be able to see if the person in it safely arrived to their destination. It's like a GPS kind of service unique to them..."

"Eh?"

"They charge quiet expensively because their services are usually used by people in the government and other big shots. Well I am pretty sure Ijuuin didn't want to just let you ride something on your own when it was him who dragged you around."

The boy just stared at his fingers holding the shaking cup of coffee in his palms, speechless.

"Io...are you alright?"

Was it because of the caffein in the coffee? Io didn't know. But he could clearly hear something pounding inside him. Clearly, strongly, shaking him up.

_"Oh...shit...my chest...my chest feels so...full..." _"Nothing. Just the coffee is a little hot for me..."

"Be careful. You're face is really red right now. Drink it slowly."

Io lifted the cup to his lips. But he couldn't taste anything anymore.

* * *

"Alright, Minase...read this..." Ijuuin extended a hand with a couple of music sheets to the blonde. "The day after tomorrow, you and Takahashi will start rehearsing. Usami will also be there so make sure to properly understand all the notes in there. Got it?"

Minase who was as still as flashy as ever took the papers with an excited face. As he was shuffling through the pages, he threw a glance at Io who was doing nothing on the sofa. The brunette was still there on the sofa with a face that showed that his mind was flying somewhere else.

"Sensei..." Minase started finally seeing something wrong with the music sheets. "Uhm...it's all just notes here without the lyrics..."

Ijuuin went to overflowing cabinet and pulled one drawer. "There's nothing wrong with it. Just read the music first..." After shuffling through the folders inside,the man pulled a black folder and faintly smiled at it. "Io, come here."

Scratching the back of his head, Io stood and dragged his feet towards Ijuuin. Though the teen knew he was just doing it for show. He knew he was doomed. He felt like a dog wanting to jump to his owner, but his personality wouldn't even allow him to do that. He was falling deeper and deeper with no way stopping it.

"What?"

"While Minase is studying there, you will help me here."

"Huh? Help with what?"

Ijuuin suddenly rested his arm on Io's shoulders as if they were the best of buddies. Somehow it appeared that Ijuuin's bad mood already disappeared. The problem was Io hoped his face wasn't betraying the complete havoc inside him just being too close.

"A wedding song," Ijuuin muttered. "The son of the Sonate President is going to be married on Christmas day, and they want a wedding song unique to them."

"So?" Io asked, slightly moving his face away.

"I composed this music way back," the man waved the folder at Io's face. "I want you to put the lyrics."

The teen stepped back, eyes wide at the man before him. "WHAT? Have you gone crazy?"

Minase looked up, surprised at how casual the brunette was at the actual King of that studio. He was looking up to the composer and the damn fallen star was acting rude.

"Io, shouldn't you be more respectful?"

Ijuuin smiled at Minase, waving his hand. "Let him be. He has a lot of music background up his sleeves. I need that now."

"Why me?!" Io shouted. _On top of that a wedding song? A gay guy composing a wedding song for a straight couple? _"I don't want!"

The older man grabbed Io's hoody and dragged the teen to where Minase was sitting. Pushing the brunette on the long sofa, Ijuuin grabbed a steel chair and sat on it. He faced the two young males with a serious glint in his eyes.

"Listen you two. Minase, I don't want you getting overshadowed by Takahashi. So I want you to be prepared. And you there Io, this is a little opening for you to show them that you have something in you. You can't yet sing. So the least you could do is this."

Io frowned worriedly. "They asked YOU to write it. Not ME. They won't be happy..."

"Minase, who's you're teacher right now?" Ijuuin asked patiently.

"Uhm...you?"

"Io, who came after you and forced you to work for me?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Io replied curtly.

The darkhaired man chuckled, ruffling the brown hair that Io had. "You always have a sharp comeback you brat."

And like nothing happened, Ijuuin grinned at the two. "You're under my name right now. Whatever you do is an extension of me. I don't care about what they say. I want to give as much exposure for the two of you."

Minase who seemed to be so much moved by what he heard nodded enthusiastically. A complete opposite of Io who remained just staring at Ijuuin. Truth be told, his heart was at his throat he couldn't muster the right expressions anymore.

"Io, I know you're not planning of getting married anytime soon. Try putting yourself in the groom's shoes. What would you say to your bride?"

"Don't know. I'm gay so I never thought about it."

The teen beside Io almost choked on his seat as he gaped at the brunette. "You're what?"

"You didn't know?" Io asked glancing at Minase. "Well don't worry you're not my type."

Standing from his seat, Ijuuin glared at the two. "Music is a universal medium. If you agree with that, I don't want hearing those things again."

Minase sighed and whispered at Io. "This is your fault for bringing that up. Sensei now is pissed again."

"It's you who made a fuss over it."

"Anyway, Io I don't want Sensei losing his face so I'm going to be very serious about what he wants. If you're not taking this seriously, you go back out right now. You're too selfish for Sensei's expectations."

Io wanted to say something to counter it. But what could he say when he actually really, badly wanted to please Ijuuin. Like at least have something that for a moment will erase Takahashi in Ijuuin's mind.

Having another cup of coffee in his one hand, probably his fifth for the day, Ijuuin finally removed his gaze from his computer and looked around his office. Minase was still there, chewing on his pencil. But Io was no were to be seen.

"Minase, where's the punk?"

The blonde teen looked to the other end of the long sofa. He hadn't noticed where Io went for he was too absorbed with his task at hand.

"Never mind," Ijuuin mumbled, standing from his swivel chair. "You take a break too. I'll just go out."

He raised his wrist watch to look at the time. It was almost five in the afternoon and if he could remember, Io also didn't come with them for lunch.

_"Did he run off to somewhere?"_

Io couldn't think of anything when his phone rang and he saw what was in it. He ran out and off dashed towards the roof top of the building despite the biting cold eating away at his flesh. The chily air lashing at his face, Io pressed the call button, gripped the black folder he was holding tighter and screamed his head out.

"KANATA! IF YOU EVER SPREAD THIS PHOTO, I SWEAR I'LL SLIT YOUR THROAT WHEN I SEE YOU!"

The voice in the other line chuckled. _"You don't have to be so tight about it. It's just a picture. A nose kiss right?"_

_"I already have the picture up for a long while now you know. But you blocked my number so it took me a while to send you a copy. It's so cute ne?"_

"FUCK YOU"

_"No one will like you for real if you keep on saying vulgar words Io. It doesn't suit your face..."_

The brunette exhaled deeply, for if he didn't he was sure he would explode into thousand pieces and no one would pick him up. He felt that his blood rushed to his head and his breathing had stopped the moment he saw the photo Kanata sent to him.

It has been quite a while since that was taken so it slipped off in his mind. During his last birthday, Kanata by chance got a shot of a photo where Io had accidentally brushed his lips on the guest's nose when he turned suddenly. He wasn't really thinking too much yet about Ijuuin Kyo that time, but currently, everything was different. He felt happy and hated the photo at the same time.

_"I really like that photo Io...you're so cute there...ahahah"_

"GET LOST! I'M HANGING UP!"

Green eyes scanned the afternoon view from the roof top. His hair hitting the side of his face. His grip on his phone loosened and as if he was shy with his own phone. He opened once more the picture he was feeling so scandalized.

In the photo, he had his eyes so wide as he realized his lips on Ijuuin's nose. And Ijuuin who Io guessed, was a little caught off guard to even react. The photo was even super clear. It was annoying that his cheeks were burning with such a silly picture. With a huge frown, Io pressed on the options wanting to delete it.

"Delete...set as wall paper...move to folder..."

A shaking thumb slid on 'set as wall paper'.

"WHAT THE HELL!" the teen hurriedly went back to options to change it but he felt that his heart was about to leap out of his throat all of a sudden.

"Io? It's so cold out here...what are you doing?"

When Io turned to look behind him, time stopped, at least for him. The way that black hair softly danced with the wind was calming. The black eyes looking at him that contrasted the gloomy sky was drawing him near. And the puff of white mist as the older man breathed in and out looked pretty.

The teen's arms dropped on both of his sides and sighed, "Breathless..."

Ijuuin took a step forward, leaning closer at the teen's face. "Huh?"

"Breathless!" Io shoved the black folder at Ijuuin's chest and stepped a foot backwards. "The title of your wedding song! You said just write the lyrics so I did. Don't expect anything from it!"

"Wait you're done already?"

"It's just putting words into the music anyway..."

The older man opened the folder after throwing a glance at Io's somehow reddish face. His eyes running from bars to bars and notes to notes, his face grew more serious by the second.

"You...don't have any experience in writing lyrics, correct?" Ijuuin asked as he stared down at the folder.

"I don't," the teen answered sharply. "I told you it would suck."

"Stupid," Ijuuin mumbled as he pulled the teen closer to him. "Listen to this...the words you wrote totally corresponds to the notes here...especially in the chorus. And you finished it within a day?"

"Uhm..." Io looked from Ijuuin's face so close to his down to the black folder, embarassed.

"I'll try it out..."

"Huh? You will si-sing it...HERE?" the boy exclaimed. If Ijuuin so much as sing there when there was only the two of them, he would really feel like Ijuuin was serenading him or something. That was how far his imagination would interpret things even if he was the one who wrote the words.

"If our love was a fairytale  
I would charge in and rescue you  
On a yacht baby we would sail  
To an island where we'd say I do

You leave me breathless  
You're everything good in my life  
You leave me breathless  
I still can't believe that you're mine  
You just walked out of one of my dreams  
So beautiful you're leaving me  
Breathless

And if our love was a story book  
We would meet on the very first page  
The last chapter would be about  
How I'm thankful for the life we've made

You leave me breathless  
You're everything good in my life  
You leave me breathless  
I still can't believe that you're mine  
You just walked out of one of my dreams  
So beautiful you're leaving me

You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me  
You're like an angel  
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me  
You're something special  
I only hope that I'll one day deserve what you give me  
But all I can do is try  
Every day of my life  
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
ahhhhhh

You leave me breathless  
You're everything good in my life  
You leave me breathless  
I still can't believe that you're mine  
You just walked out of one of my dreams  
So beautiful you're leaving me  
Breathless*1

Io had his head bowed the entire time. And when Ijuuin was done and harping how awesome the lyrics were, Io looked away.

"For a first timer you did really come up with fine wordings..."

"Shut up."

"Hey...you're sniffing..." Ijuuin noticed. "It must be the weather...so cold here... Let's go back."

Without saying anything, Io allowed Ijuuin to gently lead him back to where they entered back to the elevator to the eight floor. Io knew he wasn't sniffing because of the cold creeping into his system. He knew and had just realized it and accepted it that moment. He liked Ijuuin. He loved Ijuuin. Why he didn't even know. But he already hit the bottom when he realized it. There was no crawling back anymore.

"Where are the people here?" Fuji thought to himself as he entered Ijuuin's office having a document to be signed.

The secretary looked around and noticed a vibrating sensation on top of Ijuuin's cluttered table.

"Ah...jeez, at least clean your work table you dope."

With a frown, Fuji picked up the phone and noticed a familiar number calling. A life insurance agent that had been perstering them for many days now. Insurance agents could be really persistent it's annoying. So Fuji knowing Ijuuin wouldn't want to answer those kind of calls too, he rejected the call and decided to put the number into the blacklist number. Ijuuin had asked him to do before anyway but just forgotten because of so much things to do.

After finally being done blocking the agent's number, Fuji stared hard at the homescreen that met him.

"What...what the hell is Ijuuin...thinking?"

Leaving the folder and Ijuuin's phone on the table, Fuji slowly moved towards the door with a smirk on his face.

The phone was still bright on Ijuuin's table. Amidst the clutter, the vivid image of the wallpaper was attention grabbing. Showing a brunette with a funny face as if the teen was giving Ijuuin a kiss on the tip of Ijuuin's nose. It was that kind of innocent picture that served as the composer's background for sometime now.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

sorry for the very late update this time. whoa this is the longest time it took me to post an update i bet. wahha..just...LOL...never mind,

anyway..thank you so much for the support and the kind words. you have my thanks!

**song *1= Breathless by Shayne Ward (really beautiful) it's a favorite song!^^ but i removed some lyrics here...haha**

-shuusetsu


	51. Anger

Konnichi wa! been ages ne? hahaha...oh...it's been a while please don't throw rocks at me! haha please enjoy!^^

* * *

**-Anger-**

* * *

"Good work today!"

Returning from his millionth trip to the comfort room, Io bowed his head to avoid eye contact. The woman who were working in that building who passed him by had pretty faces and good bodies to boot. Not just that but they all seemed to have this lively air around them to which Io was royally disgusted.

"Good work today!" the woman with a shorter hair greeted once more, directed at Io.

Silently cursing, Io lifted his gaze and mumbled a 'good work' begrudgingly. The women's faces froze and hurriedly left Io alone.

The teen turned to the long hallway to his left. But after completely hiding himself away from the ladies' view, he stopped. Those women were the kind Io hated the most. For he could clearly smell from them the scent of back-stabbers.

"I don't get why their boss is even putting up with that wayward guy," Io heard from his spot as the women waited for their elevator to arrive.

"Shush!" Io started smiling. At least the other one was sensible enough to try to be discreet. "Walls have ears you know..."

"I have ears, bitches..." the brunette mouthed, lifting his green orbs towards the lights above.

"I'm not saying anything wrong," the woman countered defensively. "I am not saying anything wrong. The least he could do is pay some respects to his seniors. Besides, isn't it annoying that he goes here with that bored face of his?"

As Io listened to the on going conversation, he started twirling the hair behind his ear with his finger. His face unexplainable.

"If he's so not interested to be in here, why go here? Why shouldn't he just quit? There are others who would kill to be where he is right now. Chances aren't always given to those who ask and he have it but he's not the least bit grateful. Annoying."

Io opened his mouth to say something in his defense, but he ended up closing the once more. For it was just as the woman said. Why was he putting up with that stupid set-up?

He badly wanted to say something to raise his red flag, but he chewed on his tongue because the woman completely nailed the spot he was trying to avoid.

"Oi, what are you spacing out here?"

Io turned his head to the voice's direction and rolled his eyes. Not in the mood for fake pleasantries, the teen passed Minase without so much as a glance.

"Look at this..." Minase smiled, but the pissed kind. "Could you at least listen when someone's trying to talk to you?"

The ex-idol's boots clicked against the chess-board like tiles. And as if Io was walking in the cat-walk, he just maintained his slow pace and just waived his hand a little.

"I'm listening."

The blonde laughed despite of annoyance. "I saw the lyrics from sensei for that wedding..."

Io stopped suddenly. "What of it?"

"He was so eager to show it to me I was like what could be the crap you came up with..." Minase continued, his blue eyes fixed at the back of Io's head. "I think I understand a little why even though you're a walking attitude disorder, he puts great trust in you."

"What the fuck..." Io mumbled, turning to look a little at Ijuuin's representative at the Sonates new year's special. "...are you going on about?"

Minase placed his arms behind his head. His black leather jacket made him look more mature looking.

"I say 'good job'," the blonde grinned. "Don't let that get to your head though. See ya."

Io didn't answer or anything. He just resumed walking with his eyes at his feet. The two-way mirror walls reflecting a small smile on Io's lips.

He liked annoying Minase from the start and though he didn't like him at the first go he knew what Minase was capable of and that he respected. If he had to choose between Minase ad the women earlier and they were in the middle of the ocean and he had one extra lifevest, he'd rather let Minase have it than those women who loved gossiping despite not knowing anything .

* * *

Reaching the farthest room in the hallway, Io knocked on the door.

"Hey, I am going," he announced a little softly.

It had been a habit of his to do that before going home. And he'd only go after hearing Ijuuin's short 'hmm' as if dismissing a lowly servant.

Tapping his foot as he waited, the crease on Io's fine brows grew deeper as the silence was the only reply he got.

"What the heck, I am leaving Ijuuin!"

Making his way far from the composer's office, Io sighed. He was feeling conflicted because he felt like he just had been ignored. He didn't care being ignored nowadays but it felt different and he couldn't settle properly if it was Ijuuin.

"Damn...why you..."

His long, slender fingers reached for his neck, unconsciously wanting to tug at his scarf. His fingers still in the air, Io looked down and noticed he didn't have it wth him. With a blank face, Io stomped bact to Ijuuin's office.

"I left it in there..." he whsipered. Totally ignoring the sensible voice screaming inside his head that he was just using it as an excuse to take one last look at the man before leaving.

Turning the knob silently like a thief, Io blinked between the narrow space he created. His thick lashes almost touching the door. He was ready barging in when a serious sounding conversation reached his ear.

"That's so unlike you Ijuuin," the voice Io knew to be coming from Fuji remarked.

Io wanted to see more but it was just Ijuuin's shoulder he could see. The orange tints of the about to set sun gave the atmosphere a glum feel.

"Well, Io's a complicated kid. A kid is still a kid no matter how we twist the situation."

"So you're heaving a hard time telling him. Think he'd refuse?"

Io had no intention of eavesdropping. But the good intention was all thrown out the windows when he heard his name. He just had to listen.

_"What could they be talking about me...?"_

"I think it's going to be for the best," Ijuuin's barritone voice explained. "I've got to pull him out of that shell he made. He's just like a shy, little turtle."

The teen made an annoyed face at being compared to a turtle. He had looks he takes pride of, only to be compared into a slow poke?

Fuji's voice cracked. "You're surprisingly patient with him. It's a refreshing change for you too."

Io dared to push the door ever so slightly. It was only Ijuuin's profile he could see from the space.

"So," Fuji stepped, blocking Io's view. "When are you going to tell him? I'm sure he'd be surprised."

"I don't know. But I don't want to wait until it's too late."

The brunette bit his bottom lip to the point it hurt. _"Tell me what?! Tell me what?!"_

"Anyway Fuji, don't tell Io anything. I want it to come directly from me."

"Sure. I don't want to have to explain it anyway..."

Through the cramped space, Io saw that man's smile he hated. He hated it because it was the kind that made his heart a thumping mess.

"If Io refused, I'll use force," said Ijuuin confidently.

"Moron. That won't work," Fuji replied lightly.

Io couldn't almost think what he would do to hide himself. From his space, he saw Fuji fast approaching the door.

Too late to take a hiding, Io pretended like he was just about to open the door.

"Io?" Fuji had a not-so-surprised look on his face. Totally not what Io was expecting. "About to go home?"

"Ah, yes..." Io answered, calming his chest. " I just forgot something inside."

"I see...good work today."

Watching Fuji disappear from the long hallway, Io sighed with relief before facing the door. And instead of the smooth surface of the door, it was something like an adam's apple he saw.

"...!" Io didn't know what kind of face he made at his overly shocked state.

"You seem like you've seen a ghost there," Ijuuin observed as he blocked the door to his office. "Leaving?"

Io swallowed hard and forced a bored voice out his throat. He hoped that his face wouldn't betray him. "I left something on the sofa."

"Hmm..." Ijuuin looked up as of thinking. Then he looked at Io's face once more. "Want me to drop you off at the station?"

Hurriedly walking past Ijuuin, Io had noticed he had been trying so hard to act normal that he ended up not being able to look at Ijuuin square in the eyes.

"W-why?"

"Why? I am meeting someone in that direction."

"I see," Io gave Ijuuin a cold stare. "Thanks but I have something important that came."

"Oh." Ijuuin watched the brunette pass him by. The moment the two of them were under the door frame too cramped for two persons, Ijuuin grabbed Io's blue scarf. Surprising the hell out of the latter.

"What are you doing?!" Io snapped, grabbing the end of his scarf off o Ijuuin's grasp. "Are you trying to break my neck?!"

With his dark eyes as unreadable as ever, he peered into the green vivid ones before him. "The news said it might snow hard later this evening. Go home early and don't wander around too much."

_"What now are you my mom?"_

Still glaring, Io was about ready to shout. But before he could even retort, he fell silent the moment Ijuuin placed a finger in between Io's furrowed brows.

"You frown too much. That's not good."

Scandalized, head gone completely useless, Io didn't know what he did anymore. He slapped the warm sensation on his skin away and pathetically fled.

As Io ran his way out, he could still hear Ijuuin's voice as his background. "Be good and go home early! Don't go spreading your snot here if you catch a cold!"

Beet red, Io drew a deep breath. "ASSHOLE!"

Ijuuin shook his head at the word. No matter how much he told Io to stop using those vulgar, words, the teen still used them as if doing so was just second nature to him.

The composer yawned and softly closed the door behind his back.

"You're so easy to read, Io."

* * *

Io walked down the busy streets to the station with his hand over the space of his brows.

_"You frown to much..."_

"Tsk..." Io gritted his teeth remembering that. It made other people look at him and thanks to his bowed head and his scarf almost hding half of his face, no one seemed to recognize him. Hiding his face like that, he looked like a college student who had just gotten himself bullied.

"What was that?" he hissed. "All of a sudden..."

The sun had completely hidden itself and was replaced by the merry lights of the Christmas season. Everyone around him looked happy but he was the total opposite.

"He's crazy that's why he's like that," Io's hand fell on his side slowly. His eyes fixed at the pavement as he suddenly stopped walking. "Anyone will do."

The boy fished his phone out of his jeans. He had been receiving a lot of mails lately to which all he ignored. He swiped his finger on the most recent one.

Eyes narrowing, he replied a quick 'OK', before walking once more. He looked like a fish swimming against the current. Undecided but willful he went on.

"Anyone will do. It doesn't have to be him."

* * *

He sighed at the sight of the establishment's neon colored sign. Truth be told, he didn't like going into places like these anymore. But that night, he just couldn't refuse.

"Come on! Cyrus! the whiney voice nagged. "My good for nothing boyfriend just got fucking married!Even had the nerve to make me his best man! Screw him!"

Ijuuin gently tugged the hand around his arm off and looked at his friend's face with a pissed but remoarseful look. This friend of his was the only who knew his real identity other than his fake name "Cyrus" he was using.

"This is your third bar you know."

"My gut is as deep as the wound that bastard caused me!" The shorter guy with braided hair countered. He was totally uncaring about the stares he was getting around Kabuki-chou. "Nothing's gonna fill this empty feeling! Drink! Drink to my misery!"

Exhaling, his cold breath tickling his airway, Ijuuin decided to just let his half-drunk friend do what he wanted. After all hew knew that feeling of loss. And though he wasn't okay with wasting one's self with booze, he couldn't stop this friend of his. Because there were a lot of people who get their release by doing different stuff. What could work to others might not work with the rest.

If his friend was into drowning himself, Ijuuin was into throwing himself with work.

"This is the last. Then I'll drop your ass home. Got it?"

Attempting for a failed salute, the friend then entered the dark and lusty place. Totally dissolving with the people dancing as if in an occult offering.

"What the hell? Most are still babies!" he shrieked.

Meanwhile, finding a less crowded place, Ijuuin sat on a high stool and watched the ongoing partying of the young and not-so-young people. Through the years, the appeal of booze and dancing and partying and getting hooked up with a no namer had already lost its appeal to the man. Not because of age or something like that. It was more like because he became more mature, though at times it didn't show.

His goals had become different. And his music was his anchor keeping him in check.

After more minutes, he finally got absorbed with the rythm of the on going slow music being played. Without thinking about anything in particular, he enjoyed his drink while tapping his fingers on the surface of the counter top.

And then he saw him.

Like magnets he couldn't take his eyes off that pair.

Unconsiously he stood from where he was and squinted his eyes. Despite it being dark, despite it being crowded, despite everything, there was no way on Earth he'd mistake that face for anybody.

At first Ijuuin thought he was just seeing things, truth be told. But the plain gush of hot blood to his head was more than enough of a sign that he was seeing real.

* * *

"Damn...you smell so good..."

"I know," Io absentmindedly replied.

There Io was, letting some guy named Nitori or maybe Kaga, he wasn't really sure, nibble and lick away at the skin of his white neck. Allowing himself be carried into the flow, the things he used to do ages ago.

Pushed against a wall, neck and upper chest exposed like some vampire had been preying on him, he watched the flickering lights of red, yellow and green roam around. He let his ears absorb all the noise.

In that kind of place, there were others making out at their own corners like animals in heat. Io and his partner was just one of them. But unlike before, the fire wasn't there. He just stared into some faraway world while onlookers watched them with interest. Wondering how far they'd go in that open area.

_"Strange..." _Io thought. _"I don't feel anything..."_

He had been fed up for quite sometime now and he was expecting himself to be the wild Io he was after stepping once more into the place he used to be one of the gods. But as if he was just having a dog lapping at him, he was as unresponsive as ever.

"Ne...let's go somewhere else?"

The brunette could hear that horny voice whisper in his ear. He even remembered that just that simple act could turn him on already but he felt zero nothing. Or maybe he did but it was one would call disgust.

Io's dreamy eyes darted from the ceiling to the dance floor. They all had similar faces and figures in the dark and playful lightings it hurt his head. But at least he enjoyed watching the people swaying with the music and the booze. And then Io saw Ijuuin looking at him angrily.

"I must have really fallen hard for him right?" Io mumbled to the guy sniffing every bit of Io's scent.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" the guy impatiently replied, undoing another button on Io's shirt. In no time he'd have the teen half naked.

Io smiled at the approaching man. Despite the darkness, Io could still clearly see those dark eyes he liked. He liked them because it was like orbs of the vast midnight sky sucking him in.

_"Because everywhere I dart my eyes..."_ Io thought. _"I see him."_

* * *

The brunette blinked. The effects of the booze he had earlier seemed to be too strong for him when he wasn't even the type to get drunk easily. To his surprise, the imaginary form with Ijuuin Kyo's angry facegrabbed Nitori or Kaga off Io and threw the guy on the side like some trash.

"So this is the important thing that came up?" the voice as deep and as nerve racking as what Ijuuin has whispered softly.

Still confused, Io felt strong hands grab his shirt that was dangling off his shoulders. The hands grazing at his skin lightly as they swiftly buttoned his shirt all the way up in silence.

It was then that Io realized he wasn't hallucinating at all.

"Ijuuin?"

"You," Ijuuin threw a sideway glance at the guy he just shoved aside. His voice was so soft it could easily be drowned by the loud music around them. But strangely, it was only what Io could hear that time. "Don't you dare, follow us."

About to say something, Io felt his tongue roll back the moment Ijuuin looked at him in the eyes. A scary seething anger was there, rendering him immobile.

Ijuuin grabbed Io's hand, the teen wincing at the tight hold. And without saying anything, Ijuuin dragged Io into some back alley meaning business.

* * *

chapter end notes;

hai hai..i know you're about to throw rocks at me..but there are just so many things going on..hehe anyway...thanks for those who waited and are supporting this couple!

-shuusetsu

FYI:

Kabuki-chou- is located in Shinjuku district, also knows as the 'red light district'...


	52. Sharper than a Knife

oi oi oi...creates imaginary shield*. ahahaha gomen ne...i was just...well...really...hahaha sorry for the late update.^^ anyway there were some questions asked and I will answer them at the end of this chapter. ARIGATOU FOR THE PATIENCE!

* * *

**Sharper than a Knife**

* * *

He lost track of time. He also lost his sense of direction. It seemed like he was being dragged to some endless narrow place and the only thing he could do was get on with the flow. Io knew if he so much as counter or struggle, he'd see something terrible.

The oppresive aura coming from his 'boss' was too much that it was suffocating. And the hand holding his wrist was a little too tight he knew there'd be a mark on his skin.

Io breathed out, eyes at the winter sky. It was the only thing close to nature he could see. The walls of the establishments in Kabuki-chou were so much closely built from one another there was hardly anywhere to look at.

And then Io felt the hand holding him slide away. He stopped walking and he abruptly lowered his eyes as he watched the taller man walk more steps away from him. Like the man was making sure of a plausible distance.

That made Io's chest somehow hurt a little.

The dim lightings coming from some distant posts and reflections from the second floors of the establishments, it made them appeare paper white in that darkness. The more Io stared at Ijuuin's back, the more he couldn't see the man.

_"What the hell...say something!"_ Io screamed inside his head. What after going to the trouble of walking round a maze of walls under the chilly night, they'd just stand there?

But Ijuuin just remained standing there with his broad back facing Io. And once in a while he would exhale loudly. The only thing Io would see was the white smoke that would disappear instantly.

Minutes passed. More minutes passed and when Io couldn't take anymore the silence, he didn't care anymore. He opened his mouth to complain.

"Look, if you have something to say, say it now," Io sternly announced, his voice sounding irrate because he got disturbed from his playing. He started massaging the numb sensation on his wrist while glaring at Ijuuin's back.

Ijuuin turned, his boots sounding loud as he made his move. And then after looking at Io for a meer five seconds, sighed and ran his hand over his face briefly.

"Your coat?"

"Duh?" Io raised a brow. "You just up and dragged me here remember?"

Not seeing anything clearly, Io was surprised to hear a low chuckle from Ijuuin. It was creepy in a way. What the hell was so funny? The question never made its way out of his mouth though as he was enveloped with black.

Annoyed, Io grabbed Ijuuin's own coat off him and scowled. "I can handle the cold myself. So stop like you care. What the fucking hell are we here for?"

"Shizuku Ishi," Ijuuin hissed. The first time Ijuuin called him like that in that tone and Io felt a shiver ran down his spine. It was like a name that was not his and Io shut his mouth. "I am not actually in a good mood right now...so if I were you, I'd choose my words very carefully."

Io for some reason wanted to suddenly walk and slam himself right through the wall. He was seriously getting annoyed himself but scared at the same time. He was angry at Ijuuin for no apparent reason. So there he rephrased his words, not hiding the sarcasm.

"Ijuuin-_sense_i, please do tell me why are we here?"

"Why are _you_ here?" Ijuuin threw the question back.

"Well...the usual. Meeting friends, dancing...drinking...lots of stuff."

A deep sigh was what Io heard after a long silence. "Why are you trying to get attention the wrong way so much?"

_"The wrong way?"_

"Making out in public just when your image is already in the gutters. Just what do you want to do in your life?"

The music from all the distant clubs and bars combined into a one jumbled mess of indistinc sounds. It seemed to grow stronger as Io couldn't suddenly think.

"Didn't you agree to come to me, because you wanted to prove something?" Ijuuin stepped closer a little. "Then what is THIS?"

The teen scoffed. At first yes he did want to prove something. That Misaki wasn't just all there was. That he was still and could still be the one on top. But as the time went by,that simple minded goal became clouded. And truthfully, Ishi didn't have the answer anymore.

As Io pondered what kind of dead end he was already in, he started getting annoyed for being lectured all of a sudden. Lectured by this man who was Misaki here and Misaki there. So he snapped.

"What do you care?!" Io threw Ijuuin's coat on the cold and wet asphalt acting rebellious. "You act like it's your problem whether I get back on track or not!"

"You fill me with your nonsense words that I could not follow! You act like you are freaking my guardian and you act like you know me!" Io continued shouting.

"What is up with you? Weren't you all Misaki here and there!?" the teen took a step closer.

"Stop grooming me like your Misaki because I will never be like that angel of yours even if I lived inside a shrine!"

After all the outburst, Io was left panting like he just ran a mile. His eyes hot. His chest like there was something tight around him.

"Seriously, I can't get used to your meddling with my business, so stop it," the last sentense came as just barely a whisper. With Io catching up his breath, Ijuuin just stood there. Like he just really waited for the teen to finish exploding.

"Once I get my hands on to something or someone," Ijuuin finally broke in. Io thought his voice just went into thin air and deaf ears. "I naturally make _their_ business _my_ business. So get used to it."

For a few moments, both of them just listened to a far away honking of cars. And some cats crying because of the cold or because they were in heat.

"Fuck shit," was Io's reply. He didn't even know why he was acting like that. Where was the high and mighty Io? Where was the shameless, manipulating stud that he was once, he wondered.

Flicking his tongue as if his thoughts couldn't just fall into the brunette's hard head, Ijuuin threw a sideway glance at Io, sizing up the direction of this conversation. From all the things Io was saying, Ijuuin could only come up with one thing; the brat was so immature. The kind he was so annoyed with but just couldn't wash his hands off of the brat.

"'Get used to it'", Io repeated as if spitting gum. "Look, getting used to it is the last thing on Earth I'd want to happen. I don't want to get used to your nagging. To your acting so friendly and over protective. And to your acting like a caring older brother. I don't want to get used to anything."

Talking to Io was a tad harder than talking to a kid. Ijuuin thought that but he decided to lenghten his usual very, very short patience for the sake of this teen who seemed to be spiralling down the wrong path.

Inhaling deeply, Ijuuin started on a more calmer tone. For he knew having a shouting spree with this emotional teen would go nowhere. He was the adult one here right? So he should give way right? But in truth, he was quiet getting annoyed himself.

"But didn't you want to prove to those who mocked you that you're worth something? I thought you wanted to catch up with Takahashi? So then don't ruin your image anymore than it already is, is what I'm saying."

_"Misaki, Takahashi, Misaki, Takahashi," _Io know he shouldn't. But before he could stop himself, his tongue already rolled mercilessly. "And then what? At my condition what? Become second to Misaki? Just like how you are always second with Usami Akihiko?"

Despite it being dim, Io thought he felt he just saw something in Ijuuin's eye flicker. An old wound that still wouldn't close completely. And he just clawed on it even if it didn't have anything to do with what they're talking about at all.

A soft sensation fell on Io's face. His green eyes darted to Ijuuin a few feet away from him. He just watched Ijuuin raise his hand to his own cheek. It felt cold and wet. Snow. The snow that melted right away after hitting his warm skin started falling down. It looked glowing as they fell from the dark sky. And the silence, and the sudden serene feeling while watching them fall silently rendered Io speechless.

Io waited for the smart comebacks of Ijuuin. But they didn't come.

The taller man walked and stopped in front of Io. And then giving the teen a solid pat on the shoulder, walked away.

"I'll drive you home."

It would have been better if Ijuuin got mad. Or if Ijuuin came up again with his crazy little riddles about life. But when Ijuuin just walked away silently, Io thought he just said something terribly bad that Ijuuin didn't deserve.

And even if Io take his words back and said it was just because of the booze or spur of the moment, the damage has been clearly done.

* * *

When morning came, Io didn't really want to show his face anymore. But he had Ijuuin's pass still in his hands. And he also felt the need to see Ijuuin for the sake of his own conscience. Naturally, he thought of saying sorry. But he was usually being the one being asked for forgiveness so this situation was a little off for him.

So like a shivering coward he was, he just waited outside the building for Ijuuin Kyo. Io waited there with Ijuuin's scarf wrapped around his neck. He had forgotten to return it the last time and he figured he could use it as an ice breaker.

But the seven o'clock became eight, and the eight became nine and the deserted streets became teaming with office workers going in all directions, flooding Io's vision with the working force of Japan.

"If he's not coming, he should say so!" Io grumbled as he stood there on the sidewalk waiting for that familiar figure. Ijuuin was taller than the average height of most men so he should see him right away, but there was no one. Just a bunch of faces he couldn't recognize.

Io watched the tractors shove the snow that accumulated on the road to the side. He watched the little children happily jumping on the snow. Every moment that passed, Io thought that perhaps, last night was the end of Ijuuin Kyo's patience for him. And he couldn't blame the man at all.

He frowned as he made a circle with his foot. With his stubborn personality he still tried to reason to himself that it was still Ijuuin's fault in the end.

"I don't like him anymore. I was just caught up with the moment because it's his mug I always see...Fuck him making me wait...shit..." he bowed even more, sniffing his real emotions that he was really, actually, honestly sorry.

"Io?"

The teen turned his back, not wanting to show his near crying face. "What blondie? Came to laugh at me?"

"What are you talking about?" Minase replied hurriedly. "Waiting for Ijuuin-sensei?"

"Is it not so obvious?!"

"He's already here..." Minase mumbled distantly.

Io slowly looked at Minase with a disbelieving face. There he was near freezing from seven in the morning and he didn't even got a simple call or even a damned mail that the person he was waiting was already there in the warmth of his freaking office. He felt like he was slapped hard.

The brunette walked past Minase towards the entrance. He swiped his pass without thinking and went inside the elevator not even allowing Minase to get in.

He was ready confronting Ijuuin Kyo. Yell at his face and then cut ties with everything.

As Io was nearing Ijuuin's office, the teen passed some murmuring ladies taking morning coffees on the hallway. They were serious but also looked giddy.

"I think we should bring him coffee right?"

"Heh...but I'm shy," the other one mumbled softly. "Besides...he didn't look so happy. The guard said he was yelling when he came here last night."

Io flinched a little. Yelled? Who? Ijuuin did?

The teen found himself standing in front of Ijuuin's office, with its door wide open. Its glass pane seemed to have a crack. When Io darted his eyes a little lower, he felt his mouth open a little. Was that an android phone broken into pieces he was seeing?

_"What..."_ Io was about to step inside.

But he was suddenly nailed on the spot.

"Did you pull everything back like I told you?" Io gulped. He wasn't sure but he knew whose voice that belonged to. The urgency and hint of menace was there. "Good."

Ijuuin was standing facing the busy view of Tokyo through his windows covered with snow. On his hand was a cordless phone. And Fuji, his secretary was just standing there waiting for Ijuuin to finish. They looked so serious somehow.

"And also, may I ask?" Ijuuin continued, and Io noticed Ijuuin was wearing the same thing the man was wearing last night. "Don't your paper have anything good to write? You try to get publicity by using someone's affairs?"

From behind Io, he felt someone come up to him. It was Minase, looking at the back of his mentor.

"What did you do last night?" Minase asked quietly. "Sensei was up almost all night stopping a picture of you half naked and making out with a guy from being published. I know you said you're gay. But you're not thinking about others at all, are you?"

Io turned his head to look at Minase's blue eyes. Surprisingly, the accusing look Io was expecting wasn't there. That made him even more lost.

"I heard sensei even had to pay some because a lot has been published already," Minase explained. He gave Io an understanding look before patting the brunette once on the back. "If you're that sorry enough to make you cry like that, apologize to him."

Io exhaled, his throat itchy. He was indeed crying as he watched Ijuuin's back and all the things he said at the man last night came flooding back to him.

How childish he'd been. How unreasonable he'd been. How selfish he'd been. How immature he'd been. Io realized all his faults parading before him. His faults he had ever since he was still the Io on top, and the faults the Io right now should try to leave behind.

Ijuuin's back started taking a cloudy form as Io's tears blocked his vision.

"Aren't we very fortunate to have someone as sensei take our sides that far?"

The two young men under Ijuuin's supervision watched the man's hand fall on his side. Even from where they were standing, they both heard how deep Ijuuin's sigh was.

"Done?" Fuji asked.

"Yeah. That's the last one," Ijuuin replied fighting a cough. He was still looking out the window as if he just finally then felt the tiredness from all he did since the other day till that morning. "Message Usami's side that Minase and I will still arrive at the said time."

"Aren't you going to rest first? You should really get some sleep. You look terrible."

"What's sleep? I need to have that meeting with Usami and Takahashi done. Otherwise my schedule would get ruined."

Fuji scribbled something on his tablet shaking his head. "You're Mr. Workaholic again. Did something happen?"

Ijuuin turned to look at Fuji but then caught a glimpse of his two 'students' standing just outside the door. For a long while he just looked at Io who had bowed his head abruptly avoiding eye contact.

"Oi...come on...what are you waiting for? Apologize..." Minase whispered, poking Io on the side lightly.

The boss of the floor walked to the middle of the room, crossing his arms on his chest.

"Pssst," Ijuuin made, directed at Io. "Come here. What on Earth are you crying there so early in the morning? The scowling face suits you better."

Io just stared at the floor wanting to melt at the embarrassment of the hassle he just caused.

"Sorry," Io mouthed.

Ijuuin smiled a little. "I didn't hear that."

Fuji and Minase started to look the other way. They just couldn't stop smiling themselves.

"So-sorry. Are you-are you deaf?" Io barked, still looking at the floor.

"Didn't hear that. I said come here," Ijuuin ordered. "Five..."

Minase slightly pushed Io forward, but Io still refused.

"Four..."

Eyes glued on the floor, the brunette unwillingly took a step closer.

"Three..."

"Two..."

"One..."

Ijuuin gave an exasperated sigh. "Zero."

Io only made a step forward and didn't move anymore on his spot. When Io looked up, it was Ijuuin who made the remaining steps towards Io.

"That's fine with me," Ijuuin mumbled leaning down. "You make one small step forward, and that'll make a huge difference," the man was smiling as he said this. It just made Io cry like stupid there.

Wasn't Ijuuin mad at him at all?

"Sorry for last night..." Io muttered in a small voice so out of his character. "I-I said something I shouldn't..."

Ijuuin sighed and ruffled Io's hair for a short while. "Did you realize anything?"

Io looked up at the dark smiling eyes at him. And Io just nodded.

"Then that's alright," Ijuuin announced, tugging at the familiar scarf around Io's neck. "Apology accepted. So stop crying already. Your snot is all over my favorite scarf now, how dare you?"

Minase couldn't hold it anymore and started snickering outside the room. All the while Fuji was just watching. Who knows what was going inside his head?

To Fuji, Minase and to Ijuuin's surprise, Io held on to Ijuuin abruptly. Clinging like desperately holding into a strong branch that wouldn't break.

"I want to catch up to him...I really do..." Io finally admitted after centuries of holding back. "I want to surpass him..."

Understanding fully who was the 'him' Io was talking about, Ijuuin gave Io a slight tap on his back. "Hai hai. I know. But one step at a time now."

Having the leisure of hugging the man in front of everybody like it was nothing, Io clung tighter. And though Io wanted Ijuuin to hug him back, the man just patted him on the head.

"Oiiii...don't you fall in love with sensei now Io!" Minase teased.

Io closed his eyes inhaling deeply. Too late, he was already head over heels.

* * *

**chapter end notes:**

THANK YOU FOR THE PATIENCE..WWAHHH hahaha my time rewatching all the episode of slamdunk ate all my freetime..hahah gomen gomen!

-shuusetsu

Ps. can i do announcement here for those who're reading '**FALLING FEATHERS'**. Update will be on friday my time. i guess for most that'll be thursday? ehe whatever...before this week ends! that's a goal! Fight fight!

**questions from LINA**

**FIRST: **thank you sooooooooooooooo much! i am so happy to receive such heartwarming words and encouragements and your interest with the story just...*sniff* touched my heart. ehe..

Uhm...Io's under in a sort of apprenticeship but he's still doing some minor jobs for Ijuuin so he's still being paid. Though i didn't focus on that set-up much.^^

As to Misaki's case...since winning Sonate Competition automatically lines him up with the organization. aside from his winnings, he's also getting a salary like how an employee-in training would.^^

AHAHA..I AM SO BAD AT Q AND As BUT I AM HAPPY TO RECEIVE THEM. THANKS! THANKS ONCE MORE!^^

-shuusetsu


End file.
